NationStates Jolt Archive

METZUDA (AP) - Readers of the pornographic magazine Alldoor Action received a shocking surprise when, on page 62 and 63 of the April 2007 edition, a set of photographs of Senator Alyssa Petrova (Nationalist), now 35, appeared.

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i206/Kahanistan/sen01.gif
Nationalist Senator Alyssa Petrova, seen here after
speaking to college students at the University of Kahanistan - Najaster
last year. She is currently embroiled in severe controversy
over pornographic photographs of her found in the
latest issue of Alldoor Action.

The largest photograph was taken of her about nine years ago in what appears to be the jungles of Lower East Wahabiland, where Kahanistan fought a bloody war to depose a violent Muslim dictator who publicly crucified Christians and Jews. She is in partial uniform, enough to identify her as a Captain in the Special Combat Service, which would date the photograph between 1996 and 1999, and engaged in what the article describes as an "unnatural act" with what looks like a DR-31 assault rifle. Surrounding her are beer-drinking soldiers and people who appear to be liberated civilians or resistance fighters cheering.

Reactions from within the military and the Senate are mixed. Senate President Mohammed Hussein Abdullah (Green) stated that the Senate had no plans to take action against Petrova; Senate guidelines do not restrict the activities of Senators in any way beyond campaign ethics guidelines governing the use of funds and the obvious laws against graft and bribery.

However, conservatives who have historically voted alongside her have criticized the appearance. "I like looking at naked women as much as anyone," said Senator Kabir al-Hamad (Democratic), "but when it's a politician... that kind of gives people a weird image of the Senate."

Within the military, Defense Minister Nora Kasagawa had the following to state: "I do not oppose nudity. I do not oppose the right of military personnel to pursue their own interests while off duty. But this woman, aside from committing an act of gross incompetence with a firearm, endangered the lives of her comrades and their allies. She should have been court-martialed and driven out of the service. She is certainly unfit to represent the people who voted her into office."

The view of her in the lower ranks is far more favorable. Private Hassan Akbar Muhammad, Republic Marines (formerly Imperial Marines), was quoted as saying, "I don't see what the furor is about. She's hot, she's crazy, she's drunk... she's just like the girls in New Sodom (an eastern city in Havenic Kahanistan). Frankly, I don't see what she's doing that they don't do in other free love places like Allanea or MassPwnage."

Lt. Colonel Ted Jolson, Republic Guard, was more enthusiastic. "If she was in my unit, I'd certainly take her up in one of those new F-2's (high-powered experimental VTOL fighters). I wish there were more people who weren't so uptight."

Despite the furor, it is unlikely any severe action will be taken against Senator Petrova. She left the military in 1999 and is no longer liable to military law, and has committed no violation of civilian law.

"I did something wild and crazy when I was young," she said. "We had just freed a ton of people from an oppressive, backwards, Third World dictator, and we were happy. We partied, we celebrated, we drank. Don't tell me that there aren't plenty of other people in the military who have drunk alcohol or posed nude."

Michelle Norris,
Kahanistan People's Choice

Chancellor Rhinehart sat back in his chair after a tense and extended meeting with his senior intelligence advisors. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. He sat up in his chair and opened a drawer to his desk. Inside was a copy of Alldoor Action, he was a subscriber and advent reader...of the articles of course. He flipped through the pages, admiring the women and nodded in agreement that they were indeed attractive. He thumbed to page 62 and his eyes locked on the figure with an assault rifle.
"My...God!" he uttered in complete suprise. Then, he studied the picture attentively for the next...fifteen minutes before finally exclaiming "I met with this woman at a joint economic summit last year!"

Nice! ~ The Count

About a half a hour later, there was another message from the Count.

Did I just say 'nice'? ~ The Count.

Kisogo, Capital of the Corporate Police State of Bautizar
Corporate Offices of Deep Core Mining and Manufacturing

The CEO was checking the headlines in between meetings with some of his leading shareholders when he noted the article. It had been forwarded to him by his counterpart inside Aurora Dynamics, who had tagged it with a notation about "strange lowlanders." After reading the article, during the course of which his eyebrow furrowed in a sign of puzzlement, he shook his head and closed the message.

"Strange lowlanders indeed," he muttered. Unnatural acts with a firearm? The very thought about such a lack of moralities was enough to turn his stomach. And such a disgraceful thing would never be tolerated within the State; too many corporate lawsuits could result from it.

Opinion column in a military magazine...

I am impressed by the way the Kahanistan military likes to celebrate, instead
of rape they do such acts by their own freewill. This is truly a great day for international relations, may we join together in celebrating this magazines entry to the world stage. Although we dislike the thought of a DR-31 being used in such a way such a magazine has a place in hotdogs2's top shelves. Hotdians like a bit of the hot stuff, so if possibly i think we Hotdians could make some sort of a deal, in the interests of foreign cultures entering Hotdogs2.

We believe after all in a free and liberal, rather nude it may be said, nation. Let us not however be led to do as they do, after all we celebrate better than anyone else, but this is as good a celebration as most!

a unknown CO specking to another unknown CO

"be a mess if that was load"said the man to someone next to him who was all so looking at the mag

"Is she open for more photos? Or even videos! THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES!"

-Random Quote from a Soviet Citizen

Official Response

I don't think we even made DR-31s back in the 90s...

-Emperor Maximus III

A message from the Arch Arsonist, Adam Wincenty

Didn't Tocrowkia's president actually appear in a full length video, now available in IMAX format?

A message from the Arch Arsonist, Adam Wincenty

Didn't Tocrowkia's president actually appear in a full length video, now available in IMAX format?

Hey, I have that one. Wait you didn't see this message. Please walk away. ~ The Count

message to all from Imperial MHQ

who's got a copy of Tocrowkia's president full length video that we can copy

Official Statement from Kahanistan People's Choice

The "firearms expert" who mistakenly identified an M-4gery with Latin engravings on it as a DR-31 has been sacked. We have enough incompetence here without such embarrassing results.

Tocrowkia does not have a President; their leader, Stewardess Isabella Reinhard, did indeed appear in a lesbian makeout video as a young woman, but we do not have any copies of it.

As for Senator Petrova, it is highly unlikely she is willing to appear in future explicit photographs. She seems to be facing internal criticism from the Nationalist Party which may threaten her aspirations to become its chair.


---

Senate Hall, Metzuda, Capital of Havenic Kahanistan

While Senator Petrova had not violated any rules and could not be expelled from the Senate, many of her Nationalist comrades did turn on her.

"Nobody here is saying that this woman cannot do what she likes in her spare time," said Abu Khalid Mustafa, a prominent Nationalist senator. "But can we really consider electing her as head of the Nationalist Party? Can you imagine what would happen to our foreign relations if we had someone who they thought was a depraved slut representing us?"

"Oh, for the love of Christ," replied Petrova. "Do we really care what some prudes think? Isn't that the entire reason we hate Doomingsland so badly, that its leadership is so damned religious they hate any kind of freedom or deviancy? Are you becoming like them? Honestly, grow about a foot and put on some Roman armor and I couldn't tell the difference," she said to the 5'4" man.

"Maybe that's why you hate them, Alyssa," said Nationalist Party chair Frank Snider. "We hate them because they are a barbaric nation that holds slaves, attacks civilian populations, and executes dissidents in the most horrific manners."

((OOC: Wow...reminds me of the time that porno tape of my leader was released. :P ))

message to all from Imperial MHQ

who's got a copy of Tocrowkia's president full length video that we can copy

We believe that the Arch Arsonist's private library might have a copy available. Would you like it on VCD, DVD, Laserdisc, Betamax, Uncompressed Digital, 35mm, 40mm, IMAX, or IMAX 3D?

For all curious, Her Imperial Grace, Stewardess (Which is a dynastic title, not an elected one as President is.) Isabella Reinhard did indeed appear in a graphic video. However, it is much more than a "makeout" video. It is actually over four hours in length, and involves several of Her Grace's best friends and most trusted admirals. The video was shot when Her Grace was attending the Imperial Naval Academy.

-Reich Foreign Ministry-

We condemn this immoral and unhealthy act, especially in such a morally pure institution as the government! It's not like politicians ever accept bribes or preach differently than they practice to win votes, or prostitute themselves before their constituents in such similar ways.... or.... uh.... you get the picture.

[signed]
K'iuth Gaelin
Grand Potentate in Absentia of the United Coalition of Dzanjiru City-States
[Official Seal of the Potentate]

For all curious, Her Imperial Grace, Stewardess (Which is a dynastic title, not an elected one as President is.) Isabella Reinhard did indeed appear in a graphic video. However, it is much more than a "makeout" video. It is actually over four hours in length, and involves several of Her Grace's best friends and most trusted admirals. The video was shot when Her Grace was attending the Imperial Naval Academy.

-Reich Foreign Ministry-

I have very fond memories of that video, in fact, I own several copies. I was just wondering though, is there any chance we can get a special edition? Maybe deleted scenes?
Or just an autographed picture from the Stewardess herself.

-Soviet Presidential Office-

President Kara Maddox quickly looked over the picture she recieved along with the press release. 'Bah, I'm still hotter then any other female leader. She ain't got nothin' on me.!' She though as she placed the picture in the shredder and threw away the press release.

We believe that the Arch Arsonist's private library might have a copy available. Would you like it on VCD, DVD, Laserdisc, Betamax, Uncompressed Digital, 35mm, 40mm, IMAX, or IMAX 3D?

please sent as a DVD then we will copy it to a Blu-ray Disc

from Imperial MHQ

We condemn this immoral and unhealthy act, especially in such a morally pure institution as the government! It's not like politicians ever accept bribes or preach differently than they practice to win votes, or prostitute themselves before their constituents in such similar ways.... or.... uh.... you get the picture.

[signed]
K'iuth Gaelin
Grand Potentate in Absentia of the United Coalition of Dzanjiru City-States
[Official Seal of the Potentate]

OOC: The BBC broadcasts naked to increase viewers in the very challenging Leafanistani Market. There is a massive screen of Channel 3 hanging in the Transmetropolitan District's Central Square.

Channel 3, 11:00 o'clock News with the local BBC affiliate

"And on a lighter note, Senator Petrova of Kahanistan was caught in an embarrassing series of photos. Can we roll that Steve?"

*pictures display with racy music*

"And these are available for download in false 3D for those of you with the new holotp:// support. It appears that K'iuth Gaelin, the Grand Potentate of the Dzanjiru City-States takes severe issue with her sexual gratification. The backward nations of the world are again at the doors of the civilized world."

*cuts to male announcer*

"I hope she pulled out before it came."

*mild chuckle*

"Reminds me of the time the Reich Prime Minister was found to have produced a major porn production with the major members of her cabinet. Those of your interested can click your screens now to purchase it."

"Now in sports..."

[FEED LOST]

We've taken the liberty of making a copy onto non-compressed tape (the kind that they use in TV production, roughly 100x better quality than DVD). Enjoy.

We've taken the liberty of making a copy onto non-compressed tape (the kind that they use in TV production, roughly 100x better quality than DVD). Enjoy.

OOC: To be honest why would anyone want HD porn? People are disgusting, especially up close. Do you really want to see the pores on her labia on a 70" inch bigscreen?

I have very fond memories of that video, in fact, I own several copies. I was just wondering though, is there any chance we can get a special edition? Maybe deleted scenes?
Or just an autographed picture from the Stewardess herself.

-Soviet Presidential Office-

Yeah, don't rip off our signature text, @$$ hole. :upyours: :upyours:

-Reich Foreign Ministry-

IC:

Tons of soldiers celebrated a victory by getting 'wasted' [drunk]

Sergean:*stumbles around* You sexist ass holes! *burp* *opens porno to page 62 and then lets it fall to 63* This 'ere boys ! Is why we allow women in our military! *female troops are seen doing similar things as in the picture in the background*

OOC: To be honest why would anyone want HD porn? People are disgusting, especially up close. Do you really want to see the pores on her labia on a 70" inch bigscreen?

OOC: You seem to be confusing "bad naked" with "good naked." I'd point you to jerry seinfield, but i forget which episode it is.

OOC: You seem to be confusing "bad naked" with "good naked." I'd point you to jerry seinfield, but i forget which episode it is.

OOC:He needs to see hardcore hentei then he'll understand. *nods*

-LAN-
Today in response of the recently revealed images of a nude Alyssa Petrova, the council decided to investigate these matters before a response. The council debated privately and alone for hours until the verdict came out, the judgement given is that the images are, in quote "Hawt," Further more the youngest member mentioned an unknown phrase of "Torrents plz!"

"So... Uhh... That looks really unsafe. Sexy as hell, right up until you blow a bullet through your crotch. Now if you'll excuse me it seems I've made a mess..."

- Marine Gunnery Sergeant Ernesto Papas Jr.

The government of Siriusa would like to congradulate Alyssa Petrova for overcoming all of the nasty infections she must have recieved.

Dear Mr. or Ms. Uneducated Siriusan,

One does not get diseases by performing lewd acts with inanimate objects, contrary to what they apparently teach in Siriusan schools. Do you also believe that you can cure AIDS by raping virgins?

Besides, we in Kahanistan, unlike in your backwards shit hole, know how to protect ourselves against sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms, spermicides, and even the Pill are freely available in high schools and some middle schools, and we have one of the lowest rates of AIDS infection in the world owing to a sex education program that rivals the budgets of most other nations' high school gridiron teams.

Sen. Alyssa K. Petrova,
Nationalist Party of Kahanistan

---

Metzuda, Capital of Havenic Kahanistan

Senator Alyssa Petrova's apartment

After a long day in the Senate Hall trying to argue why her sexuality was not a bar to her representing the Nationalist Party, checking her mail, and firing off an angry response to someone who implied that she'd contracted unspecified venereal diseases, she entered her apartment. It was a spartan one-room apartment, not as bad as the average citizen who was crowded three families in facilities made for one. (It used to be much worse, six or seven to one crowding, but Whyatican aid in the form of new housing and construction and domestic economic initiatives were beginning to make noticeable effects on the poverty that existed outside of the coastal resort city of New Sodom and the capital.)

Petrova changed out of her business suit, cleaned up and slipped into something comfortable. A knock came at her door at 11 PM. Now who in the world could that be? Probably some crazy stalker who wants a piece of me ever since this mess got started... She'd gotten some weird phone calls in the middle of the night from whack jobs all over the world. She'd have to shoot whoever leaked her phone number on the web.

Clutching her FN FAL, she locked and loaded it, pointed it at the door, and then opened the door a crack.

A tall, handsome black man in a business suit stood at the door. He was well-muscled, aged around 45, about 6'5" tall, and flanked by two aides. The man carried a large briefcase with the logo of Samizdat Corporation. (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Samizdat_Corporation)

"Ms. Petrova?" asked the man. "Lucius Gaius Vesalus from Samizdat Corporation. These are Muhammad Qabir Khan and Wang Chong-zhang." He nodded to the two aides, a tall (but shorter) South Asian man of about 25 and a Chinese woman in her early 30's about the same height as Senator Petrova, around 5'7".

"We're recruiting models for a new photo spread," said Vesalus. "Former and current military personnel, uniformed and nude... we won't get any more explicit than you're comfortable with, of course."

"Get out of my face," Petrova snapped. She was not in the mood for discussing further shots. "These assholes are ruining my career over something I did when I was young and drunk." Anyone who would look down on the Nationalist Party being represented by a 'whore' would look down on us even if Jesus Christ represented us... Idiots.

"Don't be so rash, Senator," said Vesalus calmly. "We're paying upwards of 40,000 shekels. Don't say you don't need money..." Campaign expenses were funded through a tax-funded slush account which could be drawn off by any registered political party, although strict accounting requirements governed what was done with the money; it had to be spent on campaign expenses and corrupt politicians' use of it for personal gain was severely punished, with long prison terms. However, Petrova would need more funds to spend on pork projects for her district to get more votes for the upcoming elections...

She was not in the mood, though. She raised the FN FAL at Vesalus. "I won't say it again... get off my doorstep!"

Vesalus wasn't in the mood to further irritate Petrova. He walked away as Petrova slammed the door in their faces. Wang slid a business card with Vesalus' contact information on it under the door. Petrova did not notice immediately, as she was still fuming.

Emperor talking to a Colonel as he looks at the photos

"she be a good looking wife"said the Emperor

"yes but you would have to keep the weapons away from her when she drunk"said the Colonel

Message from the Allanean President

"What is the problem with this?
Do they think women can't be politicians? Or just ugly ones?"

Lisa Cuddy,

President of the United States.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/allanea/characters/lisacuddy.jpg

Burntfur held the image in front of his bright yellow eyes and glared at it closely. He then turned it upside down and gave it another intent stare. Then sideways, diagonally, and he even tried spinning it around, but he just could not understand it. In the end, he had no choice but to come to one inescapable conclusion, which he promptly shared with the rest of the world.

You furless creatures are all completely insane! What is that female doing to herself?!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/MattLever/Charr/charrhead1.jpg
Clan Leader Bonfaaz Burntfur

(Lividston)

*a couple teenage civs are smuggling some pron they bought back home*

(home)

teenager 1: Dude! That soldier chick is senator for a foreign country!

teenager 2: Talk about a woman with a good position! Ruff! Ruff!

*both laugh and continue telling dirty jokes until they get in trouble with their mom*

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e41/Reloria/naalism.jpg
Statement by the
Naalist Priesthood of Reloria

Appalling!

How can there be any question as to whether this person can continue to serve in any kind of governmental capacity? Her lack of morality, personal standards or any respect whatsoever for the Goddess' creation are hardly the kinds of examples one needs to be setting for the youth of your country! Nudity is hardly a concern, but what this woman was doing with that assault rifle was just... unholy!

My government may not be bothered to speak out on this issue, but I consider myself to be the moral voice of Reloria - for the sake of your children and your own party image, the Nationalist Party of Kahanistan should remove Senator Petrova from her position most promptly!

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e41/Reloria/priestess.jpg
Grand High Priestess Elisi II
Grand High Priestess of the Naalist Priesthood


____________



http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e41/Reloria/flag-small.jpg
Official Government Statement
Constitutional Matriarchy of Reloria
"For a brighter tomorrow."

Greetings,

Please note that Grand High Priestess Elisi II has no official capacity in Relorian politics, and that her... opinions, do not reflect the position of the Relorian government, which in this particular instance is one of complete indifference.

Thank you.

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e41/Reloria/jenn_pichi.jpg
Ministeress Jenn Pichi
Ministeress for Foreign Affairs

The magazine spread like wildfire through the populace, both among the civilians and within the military, much to the chagrin of many commanders who feared they would erode discipline and promote unsafe behavior. Some commanders took steps to confiscate Alldoor Action issues, a few even declaring them contraband.

If Kahanistanians are good at anything, it's smuggling contraband. This dated back to the earliest parts of their conflict with Kraven, in which they had habitually smuggled not only pornos but assault rifles, RPG's, and even the odd case of spare MiG-29 parts. Further, many Kahanistanian youths made large amounts of tax-free money by smuggling cheaply grown, high-grade pot (legal in Kahanistan) to nations where its illegality drove up the price by orders of magnitude. Some of these youths later joined the military.

A copy of Alldoor Action is far smaller and more concealable than a MiG-29 fuselage.

As a result, thanks to the actions of the most experienced smugglers, even the draconian actions of Brigadier General Ali Khalid Mohammed, commander of Fort Wallace Air Force Base north of Metzuda, which included the court-martial of anyone caught in possession of an Alldoor Action issue for insubordination, had minimal effect on the proliferation of the photographs. For the few who were caught, things were not so bad; a few days in a cell while the juries spent some time with large, absorbent tissues, drinking and making explicit comments before finding the defendants not guilty.

These misogynists are missing the real scandal: Kahanistan's inhuman capitalist system.

-"Red Shadow" Rabinovitz, resident
Durruti Commune

Official Announcement from the Free Havenic Republic of Kahanistan
Ministry of Foreign Affairs

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kahanistan.jpg

We are in fact a mixed capitalist state; small businesses are allowed to operate relatively unimpeded, but larger businesses are hopelessly regulated. We are also not a misogynist state; our nation allows women the same rights as men, including allowing them to serve in the military and achieve the same ranks as men. I myself rose to the rank of Major General before leaving the military and becoming a full-time politician. Please become more educated on our nation before showing your ignorance.

Signed,
Rachel C. Levitt,
Minister of Foreign Affairs

Please become more educated on our nation before showing your ignorance.


I was indeed aware of the state-capitalist nature of the Kahani economy. And I was referring to the misogynists (both in Kahanistan and abroad) who are treating this nonsense as a legitimate issue. Such nonsense is inevitably used to distract the people from things that actually affect their lives.

-Rabinovitz

Metzuda, Capital of Havenic Kahanistan

Alyssa Petrova's apartment

6:00 AM

It had been a restless night, pondering what to do about those explicit photographs that had surfaced nine years after having been taken. A lawsuit was out of the question; these vultures thrived on the publicity they derived from being sued. A polite request was likely to find itself displayed in the "Letters to the Editor" and even more explicit pictures featured on the front page.

They're likely to do that anyway, she thought grimly as she got ready to wake her eight-year-old son, Gregor. He understood exactly what was wrong; it wasn't like he'd never seen a porno mag before, what with them being passed around all over the place on the school bus and on the playground, and being told that his mom was a slut. Hell, he'd even bashed a kid's teeth in with his math book for saying that within his earshot.

That violent outburst had gotten him banned from the bus for the rest of the year, which was why she had to wake him early to drive him.

Gregor was already awake. He had gone to bed early the previous day, tired from his field trip to an Air Force base. He was something of a geek when it came to the Air Force and would likely join when he was old enough, if he stopped bashing people. People were likely to tell him his mom was a slut for years to come.

"What are you going to do?" he asked. Although he had not seen the pictures themselves, he had seen the porno being passed around his classes and the details had been explained to him during dinner. (People in Kahanistan were generally very liberal about discussing sexual matters.)

"I don't know," Petrova replied. It wasn't her own image she was concerned about; it was her political career. She was unlikely to sue the magazine company unless her son ended up in juvie for beating up one too many students over that magazine; she cared more about him than about how many people saw her in the compromising poses.

Seeing that her child was awake, she sat back down, clutching a bottle of vodka. Better not... I have to drive him to school. She set the bottle on her coffee table dejectedly while he got dressed for school.

As they drove to the elementary school, they listened to a radio broadcast that came in after the irreverent comedy they both enjoyed.

"This just in: Kevin Cardinal Harren, Archbishop of Metzuda, has announced his plans to run against Senator Alyssa Petrova in the next Senate election."

The voice changed to that of the Archbishop. "This woman has disgraced the Senate, disgraced the Republic Guard, and disgraced women in general. She is clearly unfit to represent us, and her alignment with the Nationalist Party only further compounds matters. The Nationalist Party is an abomination of the far-right, bred by war and fueled by war, like the Satanic Kraven Corporation. It is the spiritual heir of Kraven and must be destroyed like the cancer it is."

Petrova pulled into the school parking lot. The broadcast had so upset her that she did not even see the switchblade knife sticking out of her son's back trouser pocket as he left her vehicle...

Strator laughed very hard at this foreing newspaper article and the burned it and laughed harder as the arson inside him was satisfied.

He got a sudden Idea, why not make a small and unknown branch secretly capture and torture this woman. He could even have somebody get it on camera to be shown in all of the KFC headquarters to show a capitalist in pain.Then he could capture an abandoned headquarters and retreive the video for himself. Nothing would lead the plan to him, he would get a good movie for himself, and his sadistic nature will be slightly satisfied, everybody would be happy.

The current first lentine-elect Hasumi Itikil smirked when he read about that in a newspaper and anonymously sent an email to the editor: "This article is wortless without pictures!"

Opinions of some notable Cookeslanders on the "undecent" pictures of Senator Alyssa Petrova of Kahanistan:

Steven Andolor (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Steven_Andolor), Secretary of State - "It was 7 years ago and she was under the influence, it's not like Sen. Petrova knew what she was doing. Besides let the politician who is with out scandal throw the first stone."

Milchama Banks (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Milchama_Banks), Newsreader - "This is no way for a women in a place of power to act, Sen. Petrova should immediately be removed from office."

The Blue Eyed Man (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Blue_Eyed_Man), Cookeslandic Ambassador to the UN - "Whoa, Where did she learn to do that!? :eek: Tell her to give me a call if she evers gets back in the business, she's smokin' "

We can belive the hassle being caussed by this magazine. sure she is a government person but hay she was young and hot and after veiwing the magazine myself i would be hounered to take a women that can do that with a gun as my wife a specaliy a now famous p0rn star. so by order of the king of Zeara i offer this women the chance to be my wife and be queen of my nation and i offer her politcal assilum.

By order of the king
King afera the second of Zeara

[OOC: You can assume you have reporters at this debate to ask questions. Even if your nation hates Kahanistan. They're pretty liberal about allowing journalists in. :)]

Two days later

Metzuda, Capital of Havenic Kahanistan

Senate Hall

Conference Room

Today was a debate between Senator Alyssa Petrova and her opponent, Cardinal Kevin Harren, Archbishop of Metzuda. Petrova was dressed in a knee-length skirt and business suit. She was tall and slim, in her mid-thirties, and certainly did not look like a pornographic model if one had not seen the hardcore photographs of her. Around them sat numerous journalists, politicians, and others from Kahanistan and dozens of other nations.

Harren was more than twice her age, in his 70's. He was roughly the same height as the Senator, but was clearly gaining weight in his older years. He was dressed in full clerical vestments and sat next to Petrova, sizing her up.

The topic of the debate was, not surprisingly, Petrova's fitness as a politician. "Senator," asked the Cardinal, "do you think that you are a suitable representative of the Kahanistanian people?"

Petrova shifted in her seat. "I certainly do. I don't think that what a person does while off duty has any bearing at all on their fitness for a professional occupation. I fail to see how these photographs of me are even relevant, a person changes a lot in nine years. Are you the same person you were nine years ago?"

"These photographs show you as a reckless, undisciplined, unprofessional woman. People in the military look up to you, younger politicians look up to you, nationalist youths and others on the right wing of politics look up to you. You set a very negative example for all these people who look up to you, Miss Petrova." The old cleric sat back smugly, looking at the Senator.

"I doubt very much nationalists look up to me, Eminence," replied Petrova. Unlike an ever-increasing percentage of the Nationalist Party, currently about a third, Petrova had not fallen in with the climate of anti-Catholicism fueled by extreme nationalists that had grown since the Doomani invasion.

Official Statement from the New Greater Nicksyllvanian Empire:

What is truly indecent is the fact that you have a female politician, and allowed the woman to serve in the military. Are you're men such degenerate weaklings that female's must also serve to beef up the ranks?

Not to mention you're considerable lack of military discipline over you're soldiers allowing soldiers, especially you're so called elite, getting drunk while wielding firearms. Truly Barbaric.

The picture was nice though and is currently in widespread circulation in the popular magazine, Imperial Soldiers Monthly Primer.

Official Announcement from the Free Havenic Republic of Kahanistan
Ministry of Foreign Affairs

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kahanistan.jpg

No, you sexist piece of shit.

We allow women who want to serve in our military the same right to serve that men have. If a woman can shoot a rifle or drive a tank as well as a man, we have no logical reason to prohibit it any more than we would bar women from serving as politicians.

Besides, this photograph was taken before the subject became a politician. We did not "allow a... politician... to serve in the military." Further, men have acted equally unprofessionally, notice the cheering men in the prominent photograph, or the man inserting an 81mm mortar shell into his nether regions.

Signed,
Rachel C. Levitt,
Minister of Foreign Affairs

or the man inserting an 81mm mortar shell into his nether regions.

I'll bet that had to hurt! Wait, you didn‘t see this. ~ The Count

Emperor talking to same Colonel

"hear more Nations going on about women serving all because of the photos"said the Emperor

"mmm"said the Colonel as he look at the Photo more closely

Pwnage Central, MP Hong Kong:

"This...this is what passes for a domestic issue in other nations?" Maia Li gently put the newspaper down onto her desk.

"I suppose so ma'am." The aide shrugged his shoulders sheepishly.

"Umm... don't they have... other issues? I mean umm..."

"I suppose they don't care ma'am?"

"But the state of their economy is more depressing than all the emos at a Fallout Boy concert combined."

"I know, but I really don't think they care."

"I suppose most politicians are like that. Inane and stupid, wasting their time on issues that don't really matter."

"Well.... the Kahanistani people certainly seem to be paying plenty of attention."

"Who doesn't? How long did YOU stare at that picture?"

"Well umm..." the aide tugged at his tie a bit.

"Yea, figures. Look, it's porn. People pay attention to porn. And next time, if you really feel compelled to jerk off to something you see in the morning paper, make sure it's not on the copy that's meant for me."

~*~*~*~

Official Pwnage Government Response:

"This is an issue? I'm sure the government of Kahanistan would have better things to do with their time than sit around and pleasure themselves to a politician that by the way, is about as attractive as your average head of livestock."-Maia Li.

Official Announcement from the Free Havenic Republic of Kahanistan
Ministry of Foreign Affairs

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kahanistan.jpg

My eyes roll in their sockets like bowling balls as I read this.

The government was NOT involved in that publication; the photograph was taken by a soldier during downtime in the field. Soldiers have taken pictures of places they have been stationed since the camera was invented. The publication is circulated by a private company, Alldoor Action Inc.

And no, our politicians are no more obsessed with pornography than the general population.

Signed,
Rachel C. Levitt,
Minister of Foreign Affairs

The Great Britian is outraged by the Official Pwnage Governments response. We have some of the most attractive livestock in the world!

The Great Britian is outraged by the Official Pwnage Governments response. We have some of the most attractive livestock in the world!

OOC: Have you seen their Acturan Megadonkeys, look like angels they do!
Is it just me or do a lot of people have trouble grasping the various faces we put on, government, corporation, media, people?

[OOC: Acturan Megadonkeys? Can someone throw me a bone here?]

Metzuda, Capital of Kahanistan

Alyssa Petrova's apartment

7:00 PM

It had been a stressful day at the meeting; after the debate with the Archbishop, and then two radical Nationalists, one of whom was a seething racist anti-Catholic (she had made it clear that she wanted no part of the radical's proposal to "intern hostile Catholics"), having explicit photographs posted all over office doors, bulletin boards, and even passed around at a meeting to decide on the Nationalist Party's intentions for foreign relations, she had had enough.

Tired of the ordeal, Petrova arrived home, not even noticing that Gregor was not at home. She ran a hot bath, and took a large bottle of gin. When the tub was filled to her desired height, she slid in and took the lid off her bottle. Barely had she took the first sip of the sweet, liberating liquid when her cell phone rang.

She picked it up casually. "Is this Alyssa Petrova?" asked the man on the other end.

"I'm not interested in any more photographs," she said coldly. "I just got off of a hard day at work. Leave me alone." The last four calls she had gotten had asked her to pose for a calendar, appear nude on top of a new Spartacus main battle tank, show in a dominatrix magazine torturing "fundies," and be filmed doing a DVDA scene with a wild bull, a John Holmes look-alike, a bodybuilder and a sawed-off shotgun.

"Miss Petrova, this is the principal of Northwest Metzuda Elementary School. Your son, Gregor, is in juvenile detention."

"What did he do?" she asked. "Belt some jackass to protect his mother's honor?"

"Worse than that. Two boys are in critical condition in the ICU at Metzuda General Hospital, with multiple stab wounds and blunt-force trauma. Your boy stabbed them when he caught them with more pictures, the May edition printed early because of all the furor. He smashed them over the head with a brick, one of them's going to be paralyzed. Not only that, but he's got charges of assault on a police officer with a weapon. He stabbed our security chief in the stomach, he'll be fine. That beer gut of his saved his life, a centimeter deeper and he'd have cut his kidney right in half. Stabbed him right under the strap holding his body armor on."

"Holy hell... he's only eight years old!" replied Petrova, pushing about half of the bottle down her throat. "What's going to happen to him?"

"Worst case... he'll go to jail till he's eighteen. He's a little young to be tried as an adult, but he's facing some serious shit. He's at the North Metzuda Juvenile Detention Facility on 124th Street."

That night, some anonymous coward left a copy of the May issue of Alldoor Action on her doorstep. On the front page was a photograph of her, aged 26. She was in the same jungle she had been in in the photographs shown in the last issue, taken nine years earlier. She was drunk, but unlike in the last photographs, she appeared to have no idea what she was doing, her blue eyes were visibly glazed over, and she was totally naked.

This was not even the worst part; that was what she was doing. The photograph was captioned, "We didn't even know that this was possible!" She was engaged in a simultaneous act with six men in various stages of undress; all were clearly soldiers of the Special Combat Service, ranging in rank from Corporal to Major. Petrova had been a Captain when the photographs were taken of her.

on plane heading for Metzuda was Colonel Blade Stone of 1st airborne Imperial Army he left home to see if he could help

"this is getting bad"he said to himself reading the report that was hand to him before he got on the plane

Official Response from Pan-Arab Barronia

In regards to the recent "domestic issue":

"Whilst we here abhore pornography, we fully stand behind Ms Petrova in her attempts to get through this issue.

We firmly believe that Ms Petrova is capable of doing her given job, and that those who pester her should be dealt with according to law.

Our best wishes go to her. May those who seek to tarnish her reputation be struck down as God would wish."