NationStates Jolt Archive

The Dictatorship of Bomble is proud to announce the release of "Happy Rainbow Sunrise" - the most colourful soft drink in the world.

Initially planned for the untapped gay soft drink market, "Happy Rainbow Sunrise" promises to add fun, laughter and brand new stain colours to clothes. Over 587 colours are represented in the drink, including 14 shades of black.

Brand new technology ensures that Bomble remains number one in the world in Soft Drink development and production. A recent law change ensures the Bomblean Government has the monopoly of this industry.

Other popular soft drinks throughout Bomble include "Death Volcano" - the fizziest canned beverage in the world, "Moose Juice", "Conformity" and "Oppression". The latter two being the oldest governmental soft drink brands in the history of governmental soft drink production (3 years).

National leaders and/or governmental representatives are welcome to come to any soft drink production facility throughout Bomble during opening hours. A small charge of T54.95 will get you onto a guided tour, allowing you to read, view pictures and watch videos about the history and production of soft drinks. An additional cost of T1.50 will buy you a real can of soft drink, enabling you to sample the taste of the traditional Bomblean canned beverage.

Keep it real,

Barry Potato
President, Bomblean Soft Drink Marketing Board

Dontgonearthere is proud to note that its own Imperial Soft Drinks Company produces High-C, a softdrink which, while not colourful in its own right, induces the drinker into seeing a number of colours, many of which do not, in fact, technically exist.
Participants in a recent study reported four sided triangles in addition to purple kangaroos, flourescent stoats, and infinite amounts of typewritting monkeys. Several reported contact with alien life forms, various dieties, Monty Python, and other, lesser, actors, directors, comedieans and so forth.
IKC is generally reported to have been 'pleased' with the test results.

Bomble thanks you for your information regarding "High-C". We are always pleased and willing to hear information such as this to boost our knowledge of the soft drink market.

In this case, we are so pleased that we are sending the entire Bomblean Soft Drink Marketing Board, the Bomblean Soft Drink Worker's Union and the Soft Drink Drinker's Club of Bomble to one of your factories a little taste test.

We hope that you both are willing to let us do this and have a lot of "High-C" on hand, as we fear we might need a few tests to gain a comprehensive overview of your beverage. We may have to bring more representatives for a more in-depth taste test - we hope you don't mind.

Respect,

Barry Potato
President, Bomblean Soft Drink Marketing Board

We wish to purchase large amounts of all drinks mentioned above for retail in our nation. Of course, you will all recieve a cut of the profits.

We would be pleased to invite the Bomble Soft Drink Marketting board to the headquarters of the Imperial Soda Company, we advise them to bring a selection of crunchy snack foods in addition to their cargo of soda.

We would be pleased to invite the Bomble Soft Drink Marketting board to the headquarters of the Imperial Soda Company, we advise them to bring a selection of crunchy snack foods in addition to their cargo of soda.

We would be delighted to take up this offer. Along with the aforementioned crunchy snack foods and soda, we also plan to bring a selection of movies and video games. We hope this is to your liking.

Bomble's most popular genre of movies are comedy and action (none of this namby-pamby luvey duvey stuff here, oh no). Here is a list of movies we plan to bring:

Death Cop - Action
One of the most popular movies of our generation. Plot involves a tough cop on a mission to catch some bad guys who killed his best friend. Includes guns, violence and a 45 minute car chase.

Death Cop 2: Extreme Revenge - Action
Follow up to Death Cop. Follows the same cop out to kill another load of bad guys who killed his wife. The ringleader was the same one out of the first movie. Includes more guns, more violence and a 60 minute car chase - in a shopping mall.

Death Cop 3: Rogue Cop With a Magnum - Action
Last of the Death Cop franchise. The guy is kicked out of the Police force because he hadn't reached his weekly criminal hospitalisation quota. After he hears of his sister's death, he goes after the same bad guy. This time with a bigger and shinier gun. Eventually, the bad guy dies after being crushed by a fridge. Includes more guns, more violence and a 75 minute car chase - on a race track.

Absolute, Comprehensive and Total Destruction - Action
Follows the glittering careers of three Bomblean fighter pilots - Michael Absolute, Bill Comprehensive and Tommy Total. Contains cheap special effects, absurd levels of damage, explosions, arguements and a cheesy love story.

Injury Nights of Pain - Documentary/Comedy
A collection of gritty, pixelated videos detailing the hazards of night-time activities. Just how safe are you mowing your lawn after dark? What types of injuries can you sustain tying your shoelaces up at 1:00am? Who is responsible when you get strangled by your seatbelt in the inky blackness of night? All these questions, and more will be answered when you watch this utterly pointless movie.

Jack Has a Big Head - Comedy
Chronicles of the life of famous scientist, Jack McWoodhouse and his personal struggle for recognition, discovery and control over his oversized cranium. Jack's head was 24 times larger than the average male, preventing him from playing sport, entering narrow doorways and wearing hats. These things, among others, prevented him from exiting his room and restricting his "discoveries" to theories and formulae already commonplace. Comedy rating is given due to his frequent tendancy to fall over and swear.

Hercules - Comedy
Not the mythological Greek strongman, but the moronic, bumbling fool of Tim Hercules, paperclip salesman extraordinaire. This movie is about Tim's adventures as he works overtime to pay for a new lawnmower. A hoot.

We hope that these movies will broaden your horizons and help you gain an appreciation of the Bomblean film industry. We have many more films to offer you, however, they will not be brought as we fear they may be confiscated at border security.

Video games have only just caught on in Bomble, despite the release of many major consoles. As a result, we shall only be bringing two titles to your nation, Tax Collection: Capital City and Dog Wash Deluxe. We hope that these are satisfactory - they are the number one and two on the all time Bomblean video game sales list (number three being a little known title named "Worrier", commonly misquoted as "Warrior").

Peace out,

Barry Potato
President, Bomblean Soft Drink Marketing Board

From: Mirage Films
To: Anyone interested in the Bomblean film industry
Subject: Want to cooperate?

Hey there!

It's R.K. Bezanson here, head of the comedy department of Mirage Films Ltd. of Oslea. We just got the thumbs up for a script of a movie we are about to make, and we're asking you if you want to team up with us and share the profits and production price.

The movies is called Retardamnation Apocalypse, and it's a comedy/action movie that involves the actions of a less-than smart individual who ends up dooming the world because of his actions. We assure you thetre'll be lots of nuking (4 in total), 13 gunfights, 3 martial arts showdowns, and 2 swordfights. It will be shot in Oslea but we request that we can use Bomblean land as well for shooting.

The production budget right now is $50 million. Feel free to work with us and add some money in to the budget, and reap the rewards!

R.K. Bezanson

The Imperial Soda Company is of course only too happy to partake of the viewing of these movies with youre executives, however they would be more pleased to provide a variety of games of Dontgonearthereian origin, including such titles as Crimean War II: This time, its Personal, which features a recreation of the famed Second Dontgonearthere Crimean War.
Not only is each drop of blood individually rendered this time, but all players and NPCs feature fully destructable bodies with high-poly organ rendering technology. It also gives the players the opportunity to emlpoy no less than sixty eight ways of killing their enemies with commonplace materials such as small twigs and pieces of fruit.
The game won an award for the inclusion of Cholera as a gameplay element.

Thank you for your kind and generous offer regarding your film. Upon reading, we decided that this opportunity was too good to miss. Consequently, we would gladly like to accept your offer to team up and will permit the use of Bomblean land for filming. In addition to this, we will add as many toons (our national currency) to the budget as you require.

However, we require a slight change in the plot to suit Bomblean audiences. You mention that you will be having 4 nukings, 13 gunfights, 3 martial arts showdowns, and 2 swordfights. We require you to have an additional 3 martial arts showdowns, 1 swordfight and 5 car chase scenes over the length of 10 minutes. We hope this will not hinder development or production of the film.

*Note: Car chases are frequent in Bomble, often resulting in a fiery finale. If you require footage of car chases, we can supply you thousands of tapes of this occurance. These videos can be easily edited and will save you thousands of dollars and numerous days in filming and post production, leaving you with extra money to spend on important props such as guns, hand grenades and swords.

Regards,

Philipo Banana
Producer and Director of the "Death Cop" trilogy
Head of the Bomblean Film Board

R.K. Bezanson, Head of Comedy Department, Mirage Films

It is up to you as to how many toons you would like to add in to the budget. As you know, adding more makes a better finalized product, therefore more audiences and DVD sales! Not to mention the merchandising sales we'll get from selling Retardamnation Apocalypse cereal boxes and novelty flamethrowers.

Of course, we shall add in the required additional 3 martial arts showdowns, 1 swordfight and 5 car chase scenes. It shouldn't be a problem.

My film department and I look forward to working with you!

R.K. Bezanson

We thank you for your understanding regarding the extra action scenes. We apologise for requesting more, but Bomblean society is a viscious beast, requiring its daily feed of anger, violence and brutality. We hope that you understand.

Upon further consultation, we have been advised to donate an initial sum of T20 million. Additional payments will be made when required by your company (after all, you are making the film) and when the project inevitably goes over budget. We are prepared in full, to pay for this overspending.

*Note: Bomble's film budget is higher than foreign aid and local healthcare combined, so you get a picture of how much we are prepared to spend.

Regards,

Philipo Banana
Producer and Director of the "Death Cop" trilogy
Head of the Bomblean Film Board

Official Response From the Simon Phoenix Movie Theater Company

We in the SPMTC would like to order all episodes of Death Cop for showing in Allanea. We feel that this is a good investment.

Official Response From the Cute Bunny Burger Corporation

We would like to purchase 10% of the available sotck of the Imperial Soda company.

The Bomblean Film Board is happy for the "Death Cop" trilogy to be screened in Simon Phoenix Movie Theater Company cinemas. This export is the first Bomblean film ever to be exported and will be celebrated by a Governmental party - which all officials are welcome to attend. A special invite is to go to the owner of the Simon Phoenix Movie Theater Company, and ask him to prepare a speech for the party.

I will warn you now, Bomblean Governmental parties do reach a level of rowdiness you will probably have never seen, or see again. Also please do not bring children, as nudity at some parties reaches levels on par with that of a nudist camp. You have been warned.

We hope you can attend.

Regards,

Philipo Banana
Producer and Director of the "Death Cop" trilogy
Head of the Bomblean Film Board

Official SPMTC response

Nudity? Random violence? Why, this is just the movie Allaneans would love!

The people of Bomble are some of the most vicious, violent and unfriendly people in the world, and sales have been through the roof. We hope that sales are likewise in your fair land, and that the "Death Cop" trilogy gives your people a glimpse into Bomblean customs, values and brutality.

Official Press Release from the Simon Phoenix Movie Theater Company

We are pleased to report that the Bomblean Death Cop movies are proving extremely popular in Allanea. We would like to procure a license for pay-per-download and DVD releases of these movies and cinema rights for Absolute, Comprehensive, and Total Destruction.

Sincerely yours.

The Republic of Kanami has accepted the importation of your films here is some further information regarding the status:



Death Cop - Action
One of the most popular movies of our generation. Plot involves a tough cop on a mission to catch some bad guys who killed his best friend. Includes guns, violence and a 45 minute car chase. No Cuts were Made. Rated R
Released Through Black Hawk Films Ltd.


Death Cop 2: Extreme Revenge- Action
Follow up to Death Cop. Follows the same cop out to kill another load of bad guys who killed his wife. The ringleader was the same one out of the first movie. Includes more guns, more violence and a 60 minute car chase - in a shopping mall. No Cuts Were Made: Rated NC-17
Released Through Black Hawk Films Ltd.

Death Cop 3: Rogue Cop With a Magnum - Action
Last of theDeath Cop franchise. The guy is kicked out of the Police force because he hadn't reached his weekly criminal hospitalisation quota. After he hears of his sister's death, he goes after the same bad guy. This time with a bigger and shinier gun. Eventually, the bad guy dies after being crushed by a fridge. Includes more guns, more violence and a 75 minute car chase - on a race track. No Cuts were made: Rated MA-15
Released Through Liberty Pictures

Absolute, Comprehensive and Total Destruction - Action
Follows the glittering careers of three Bomblean fighter pilots - Michael Absolute, Bill Comprehensive and Tommy Total. Contains cheap special effects, absurd levels of damage, explosions, arguements and a cheesy love story. No Cuts Were Made Rated MA-13
Released through Alexzia Entertainment

Injury Nights of Pain- Documentary/Comedy
A collection of gritty, pixelated videos detailing the hazards of night-time activities. Just how safe are you mowing your lawn after dark? What types of injuries can you sustain tying your shoelaces up at 1:00am? Who is responsible when you get strangled by your seatbelt in the inky blackness of night? All these questions, and more will be answered when you watch this utterly pointless movie. No cuts were made Rated NC-17
Released Through REALtoREEL Films

Jack Has a Big Head - Comedy
Chronicles of the life of famous scientist, Jack McWoodhouse and his personal struggle for recognition, discovery and control over his oversized cranium. Jack's head was 24 times larger than the average male, preventing him from playing sport, entering narrow doorways and wearing hats. These things, among others, prevented him from exiting his room and restricting his "discoveries" to theories and formulae already commonplace. Comedy rating is given due to his frequent tendancy to fall over and swear.
No Cuts were made: Rated R
Released Through Republic Pictures

Hercules -Comedy
Not the mythological Greek strongman, but the moronic, bumbling fool of Tim Hercules, paperclip salesman extraordinaire. This movie is about Tim's adventures as he works overtime to pay for a new lawnmower. A hoot.[i]
No Cuts were made: Rated PG
Released Through Mirror Mask Ent.

We hope that these movies will broaden your horizons and help you gain an appreciation of the Bomblean film industry. We have many more films to offer you, however, they will not be brought as we fear they may be confiscated at border security.

Video games have only just caught on in Bomble, despite the release of many major consoles. As a result, we shall only be bringing two titles to your nation,

[I]Tax Collection: Capital City-GAME is Approved for General Release: Rated: TG

Dog Wash Deluxe-Game is approved for General Release: Rated G7+

As such you can revoke, or appeal the certification (rating) of any of your films with optionality of the system. You may also edit and resubmit or release as is. It is soley up to you

In return many in our industy would like to send films to you:

The Hunted
Genre: Action/Thriller/Horror/Drama/Mystery
Kanami Rating: R: Strong horrorific violence/killings, some sexuality, nudity, and strong language
Plot: Based on events that occured over a 24-hour period on a lonely island. Several tourists have been told they have won an all-expense-paid vacation to a lovely tropical island. However what they don't know is an eccentric billionare has hired a group of rouge hunters in a game of cat-and-mouse. For the next 24 hours the tourists will have to fight for survival in a sick game.

Diary of a Mad School Girl
Genre: Comedy-Drama
Kanami Rating: MA-15: Rude and Cruel Behavior some sexual content
Plot: Alica was a quite mousey school girl, untill a few pranks put her over the edge. Now it's payback time as she enacts some of the harshest punishments upon her classmates and makes their lives living hell.

Little Engin That Couldn't!
Genre: Comedy
Kanami Rating: R Strong Language
Plot: A farce mystery about a train that is stalled while on an uphill track and a series of murders.