NationStates Jolt Archive

Mgokuz Ironblade sat sipping his Mingis Dew in the bar. He didn't frequent bars, hell he had never even been to Kenwood, and yet here he was, in the shittest bar in the shittest city. And why? Cause "the government" told him so. Pfft. Government. Zambistan's government could at best be called a cartel of criminals, and at worst a cabal of occult obessed psychos. Still, they payed the bills, and Mgokuz was thankful for that.

"Are you Mgokuz?" Mgokuz turned around to see a man in a gas mask and trenchcoat.

"You must be the go-" The man put his hand up to Mgokuz's mouth.

"Do you KNOW what they do to government people in Kenwood? Do I LOOK like I want to be flayed alive? Please, keep it down."

"Ok...can I get your name?"

"Bxedaz, Bxedaz Greatslay. Do you know why your here?"

"No. All I was told was to grow a handle bar moustache, buy a top hat, and come to Kenwood. Your lucky I'm poor, becuase I've been robbed 13 times!"

"Well, your still alive right? And in Kenwood, thats a rarity. Now listen, heres what we want you to do. We want you to be our diplomatic envoy to Nuevo Italia."

"What? Why me? Why do I have to deal with the romis?"

"Please, when your there, don't call them that. The government is willing to pay you 3 million, and a guarantee you won't be conscripted." Mgokuz grabbed the man's hand and shook it.

"Senor Greatslay, we have a deal!"
************************************************************
To: The Government of Nuevo Italia
From: The Government of Zambistan

For too long have our two nations simply ignored each other. It is time our nations come together and discuss improving diplomatic relations between us. We can discuss economic, military, and even space related issues and generally improve the region.

But most importantly it's time we get to know each other!

http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u12/evilitaliandude/Italy20detail20of20seal.jpg

TO: Zambistan
FROM: Roma Foreign Ministry

We are very pleased about your proposal. Please dispatch a diplomat to Roma International Airport. We shall pick them up and pay if needed. They shall be brought to Roma to discuss matters of diplomacy.

Good Day,
Signed,
Antonio Gordivici
Antonio Gordivici
Minister of Foreign Affairs

The rickety Air Zambi landed with a thud in Roma International Airport. Mgokuz quickly hurried out and put on his top hat, looking anxiously around. He had never seen so many Italians before, and he was a little wary of them. He had no luggage, save a pen, and only knew what he had been told.

Which was little.

Still, he put on a smile and began to twiddle with his moustache as he waited for an Italian official, wondering if he just might keep the moustache...

An official looking Imperial Guardsmen, dressed in white uniform and all, stood solidly holding up the sign that read Mgokuz. He saw the man, and beckoned to him. "Right this way, Sir." He began to lead him to the limosuine through the World-Class Airport (full of fountains, elaborate statues, world cultural items, and large windows, etc.)...

Mgokuz was shocked by the wealth around him, and was actually thinking about robbing a few people. No! I have a job to do! he thought, as his eyes drifted from one thing to another. He followed the soldier silently, wondering how he could keep his suit so white.

"Right this way Sir." The Guard and Mgokuz had reached the limo. He opened the door, and ushered him inside. It was a small space- but rather luxurious- a mini-bar, telephone, and other electronics were on inside, along with a T.V. turned to WNI, which was covering the Italian GASN admittance and the shelling of Worchester in Eurasia. The driver put the key in the ignition, and began to drive towards the "Diplomacy Box", the famous headquaters located at the Roma city street which held embassies. They soon arrived, after a brief drive through the beautiful city, full of large marble statues and fountains. It's wealth was forged by the giant oil reserve on the coast right by Roma. The Limo pulled up to the building, as another Imperial Guard waited to escort Mgokuz inside...

The city was wealthy, that was sure, and Mgokuz twittled his moustache in anxiety. Maybe I just might keep this thing, it helps keep me calm. Mgokuz felt the odd sensation to destroy one of the picturesque statues, but quickly buried it underneath a fake smile.
"Such...uh...wonderful statues. You should really see some of the obelisks in Ur."

Oh god, another guard. "Thank you sir. Tell me warrior, do you mind if I take a swig?" He jiggled his flask, filled with 200 proof moonshine, Zambistan's national beverage.

The city was wealthy, that was sure, and Mgokuz twittled his moustache in anxiety. Maybe I just might keep this thing, it helps keep me calm. Mgokuz felt the odd sensation to destroy one of the picturesque statues, but quickly buried it underneath a fake smile.
"Such...uh...wonderful statues. You should really see some of the obelisks in Ur."

Oh god, another guard. "Thank you sir. Tell me warrior, do you mind if I take a swig?" He jiggled his flask, filled with 200 proof moonshine, Zambistan's national beverage.

"Yes, I've been to Zambistan. I have an adopted son from there. It's quite- nice." The Driver's words fell out of his mouth. "Here we are."

---
The Guard helped the man out of his car, and heard his request to drink. He hisitated before answering. "Welcome, Sir. Right this way. You may drink if you wish, but we must request you be sober for diplomatic discussions."

The Imperial Guard led Mgokuz into the atrium, a large marble morass, and into the chamber hall, where discussions were held. It had been emptied out hours earlier after a rather secretive intelligence meeting between the Prime Minister and Imperatore.

"Here we are, Sir."

The guard pulled out a chair, just as a group of men walked in the southern entrance...

"Hello sirs. My name is Mgokuz Ironblade, and I am the envoy from Zambistan." He tipped his tophat, and then reached out for a handshake. "Lovely country you have here. I wasn't robbed once on my way here!"

Remember what Bxedaz told you. NAP, Economy, Immigration, Military, and then Space! Save space for last!

"Hello sirs. My name is Mgokuz Ironblade, and I am the envoy from Zambistan." He tipped his tophat, and then reached out for a handshake. "Lovely country you have here. I wasn't robbed once on my way here!"

Remember what Bxedaz told you. NAP, Economy, Immigration, Military, and then Space! Save space for last!

The diplomat, Carlo Bezziniti, stuck out his hand.

"Pleasure to meet you. I am Carlo Bezziniti. I am glad you like our nation- I've yet to be to Zambistan. What matters do you wish to discuss?"

He handed his jacket to his assistant, and asked him to bring them some Nuevo Italian Vodka. The Guard- a 400 pound brawn-for-brains- walked to the door, and did what he did best- guard.

Unnerved as he was by the guard, he sat down and got to bussiness.

"Ahem. First off Zambistan has made it clear they wish for a Non-agression pact between our two peoples, if not a downright alliance. Secondly we wish for the removal of tarrifs between our two nations to further trade, and we ask you lift any...restrictions against one of our most popular exports: moonajuana. Moonajuana, if you are unaware is a mixture of 200 proof moonshine and Absinthe."

"Next we would ask you tighten security on your coastal islands near us. Some citizens believe they can seek a better life in your country. Whether this is true or not, we do not want our best and brightest leaving us and denying thier homeland thier services."

"Next, we propose we each give each other an area for a base to be set up, as a sign of good will, and so that our militaries can come to each others aid. Perhaps even some war games."

"Finally, we get to the issue of space. We have already talked to Gataway and they are on board, and now we come to you. We are interested in combining the power of our three nations to form one space program, and to hopefully establish a lunar colony and/or space based weapons platform, capable of defending the region."

Mgokuz took a deep breath and a swig of moonshine, waiting for the diplomats response.

Unnerved as he was by the guard, he sat down and got to bussiness.

"Ahem. First off Zambistan has made it clear they wish for a Non-agression pact between our two peoples, if not a downright alliance. Secondly we wish for the removal of tarrifs between our two nations to further trade, and we ask you lift any...restrictions against one of our most popular exports: moonajuana. Moonajuana, if you are unaware is a mixture of 200 proof moonshine and Absinthe."

"Next we would ask you tighten security on your coastal islands near us. Some citizens believe they can seek a better life in your country. Whether this is true or not, we do not want our best and brightest leaving us and denying thier homeland thier services."

"Next, we propose we each give each other an area for a base to be set up, as a sign of good will, and so that our militaries can come to each others aid. Perhaps even some war games."

"Finally, we get to the issue of space. We have already talked to Gataway and they are on board, and now we come to you. We are interested in combining the power of our three nations to form one space program, and to hopefully establish a lunar colony and/or space based weapons platform, capable of defending the region."

Mgokuz took a deep breath and a swig of moonshine, waiting for the diplomats response.

"A non-agression pact will be suitable. A formal alliance as well, though a proposal for a 'Mediterranican Union', complete with its own currency, is sitting in the Imperial Senate as we speak.

As for trade, our citizens are always looking for a good exotic drink. I shall inform the Senate to lower import taxes between our nations.

We shall do our best to stop illegal immigration, though we hope Zambistan allows free travel. We shall tighten coast guard securities around the area, and set up an easier way to acquire visas and citizenship- that is of course, if you do not object.

A base is acceptable- prefferably near our Nickslyvanian neighbors- they aren't the most friendly nation.

As for space, we hope to begin a program that encompasses every nation in the region. We are experimenting with a highly classified SDI at the moment, along with rods from god. Also, our government seeks to aid your nation in further economic development. We are blessed with some of the largest resource reserves in the world- and we hope we can share our wealth with your nation. Interested?"

Carlo called the secretary over and whispered to delay the meeting with the Prime Minister over the increasingly threatening illegal immigration problem, this may take a while.

He folded his hands and waited for a response.

Aid? He didn;t say anything about aid! Cmon Mgokuz...you can wing it...

"First, I would like an alliance and am interested in a 'Mediterranican Union.' Secondly, we are fine with you making it easier as long as you report any people with military or scientific background. Thirdly, we would actually prefer a base near the Nickslyvania colony. Fourthly, we believe the best way to vcreate a region wide space program is to smart small first, then allow the others to join. That way we can create an infrastructure to work with."

Mgokuz twittled his moustache. "I believe Zambistan would be interested in this 'sharing of wealth.' Please, go on."

"Perhaps. A larger program means more funding but I suppose that your plan desrves a try."

He took out several pieces of official looking paper, an expensive pen, and gave it to Mgokuz.

"Sign here please. It is a mutual agreement stating that we shall defend each other (our nations) in invasions, as well as optionally assist in other operations.

As for aid, our government sees things as if we were to slowly boost trade and humanitarian aid, it wouldn't harm us, and would eventually bring you up to a much higher level, when it comes to economy. Our nation doesn't like outsourcing, to stop it we have a relatively low (5.5 dollars hourly) minimum wage, and have tax rewards for domestic companies, as well as slight penalties for foreign ones. It hurts the corporations a tiny bit, but in the end keeps us all wealthy. Plus rescources here are cheaper because of their abundance, meaning shipping them is unneccessary. But let's get back on subject.

Sign here: It will lower import tax rates from Zambistani imports from 6% to 2%.

As for space, we aren't incredibly interested- but we do have a small program that focuses on moon missions. We could partially join programs- of course, we as a nation are somewhat isolationist, and would prefer to keep some private operations. That I can't do- but we'll ensure it happens. Is there anything else left to discuss?"

"Uh...no...I'll sign" Mgokuz twitched and signed the papers, knowing full well where the aid would go..

(Had to make this quick, since im grounded! Srry!)