MassPwnage
12-02-2007, 23:42
MassPwnage Pharmaceuticals Storefront:
Kriza Xe Lirae (Body and Spirit)
History:
Welcome to MassPwnage Pharmaceuticals. MP Pharmaceuticals was founded by Dr. Toiha d’Mazhak in 1149 in order to deliver quality medicines and chemicals to the Pwnage ruling council at the time. Back in those days, medicines were a hit and miss affair, with most concoctions poorly formulated by a local shaman, or more likely by some unqualified snake oil salesman. Dr. D’Mazhak and his assistants personally documented the use of hundreds of drugs, systematically categorized their formulas, tested their safety, recorded any and all side effects and gave indications as to what dosages should be administered and to whom. Dr. D’Mazhak’s personal library and papers eventually became the basis for both the Maxya Free Hospital and the MassPwnage National Pharmacopoeia. Today MP Pharmaceuticals does more than ninety trillion dollars of business (9.0x10^13 $NSD) per year with thousands of clients of around the world.
Mission Statement:
To provide the world with what heals the body and spirit.
Safety:
We guarantee that our drugs will work as advertised. We carefully document any and all side effects caused by our products and we very, very carefully indicate the dosages to be taken. Your safety is our mission.
Signed: Dr. Lirael Illin Nzeka (President, CEO and General Manager)
Table of Contents:
1.) How to do business.
2.) Glossary and Index of Terms
3.) Pharmaceutical Products (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12322396&postcount=2)
4.) Recreational Products (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12346591&postcount=3)
5.) Other Products
6.) Logistics
7.) Investments
8.) Employment
How to do business with us:
Product purchase:
Products are purchased by the unit listed. For example, the price of Perevat is listed per bottle, and must be purchased by the bottle, while cocaine hydrochloride is priced by the kilogram and thus must be purchased by the kilogram. If discounts will be given for bulk orders, it will be indicated next to the product information.
Customer Pickup and Legal Issues:
Although we would love it if the leadership of all of the world’s dictatorial nanny states would just drop dead, that isn’t happening anytime soon. Certain products made by MP Pharmaceuticals are illegal for some reason or another in many states. In order to avoid legal liability, all private purchasers are held personally liable and responsible for shipment of orders unless MP Pharmaceuticals can confirm the legal status of the purchaser and the national/organizational affiliation of the purchaser**.
*That is, non-government, non-ruling body consumers
** Basically, if I know I can export into your nation because I know you on an OOC basis, or if your government states ICly that the purchase is legal
Accounting:
In order to save money, we fired our accounting department. This means the burden of calculating purchase totals is the responsibility of the buyer, not us. If the buyer cannot calculate his/her own purchase totals, the transaction will not go through.
Investments:
If you are interested in purchasing shares of MP Pharmaceuticals or having production/research facilities in your nation, please visit the investments section via the link above.
Employment:
If you want to join our great company, just read this section at the end.
Glossary and Index of Terms:
The basic template of all the products we sell is as follows:
Common Name:
Slang:
Scientific Name:
Category:
Indicated Usage:
Contraindications:
Routes:
Dosage:
Duration of Effects:
Onset of Effects:
Effects:
Side Effects:
Long Term Usage:
Overdose:
Potential Interactions:
Pregnancy Category:
Price:
Bulk Price:
Explanations:
Common Name: The common name of the product in question.
Slang: Any slang terms associated with the product
Scientific Name: The scientific name of the product in question
Category: A brief description/categorization of the product
Indicated Usage: Indicated use of the product
Contraindications: Who should not use the product?
Routes: How the product is used.
Dosage: How much of the product should be taken.
Onset of Effects:
Duration: How long the effects of the products last
Effects: What should happen to the user of the product?
Side Effects: Other things that can happen
Long Term Usage: What happens after you have been using the product for a while?
Overdose: What happens when you overdose
Pregnancy Category: Safety of use in pregnant or lactating women. Categorized as A, B, C, D or X, where A means that the substance will not harm the fetus or lactating infants and X is a guarantee that something will go wrong.
Price: How much the product costs per unit
Bulk Price: If available, any discounts that can be made through bulk orders.
Kriza Xe Lirae (Body and Spirit)
History:
Welcome to MassPwnage Pharmaceuticals. MP Pharmaceuticals was founded by Dr. Toiha d’Mazhak in 1149 in order to deliver quality medicines and chemicals to the Pwnage ruling council at the time. Back in those days, medicines were a hit and miss affair, with most concoctions poorly formulated by a local shaman, or more likely by some unqualified snake oil salesman. Dr. D’Mazhak and his assistants personally documented the use of hundreds of drugs, systematically categorized their formulas, tested their safety, recorded any and all side effects and gave indications as to what dosages should be administered and to whom. Dr. D’Mazhak’s personal library and papers eventually became the basis for both the Maxya Free Hospital and the MassPwnage National Pharmacopoeia. Today MP Pharmaceuticals does more than ninety trillion dollars of business (9.0x10^13 $NSD) per year with thousands of clients of around the world.
Mission Statement:
To provide the world with what heals the body and spirit.
Safety:
We guarantee that our drugs will work as advertised. We carefully document any and all side effects caused by our products and we very, very carefully indicate the dosages to be taken. Your safety is our mission.
Signed: Dr. Lirael Illin Nzeka (President, CEO and General Manager)
Table of Contents:
1.) How to do business.
2.) Glossary and Index of Terms
3.) Pharmaceutical Products (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12322396&postcount=2)
4.) Recreational Products (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12346591&postcount=3)
5.) Other Products
6.) Logistics
7.) Investments
8.) Employment
How to do business with us:
Product purchase:
Products are purchased by the unit listed. For example, the price of Perevat is listed per bottle, and must be purchased by the bottle, while cocaine hydrochloride is priced by the kilogram and thus must be purchased by the kilogram. If discounts will be given for bulk orders, it will be indicated next to the product information.
Customer Pickup and Legal Issues:
Although we would love it if the leadership of all of the world’s dictatorial nanny states would just drop dead, that isn’t happening anytime soon. Certain products made by MP Pharmaceuticals are illegal for some reason or another in many states. In order to avoid legal liability, all private purchasers are held personally liable and responsible for shipment of orders unless MP Pharmaceuticals can confirm the legal status of the purchaser and the national/organizational affiliation of the purchaser**.
*That is, non-government, non-ruling body consumers
** Basically, if I know I can export into your nation because I know you on an OOC basis, or if your government states ICly that the purchase is legal
Accounting:
In order to save money, we fired our accounting department. This means the burden of calculating purchase totals is the responsibility of the buyer, not us. If the buyer cannot calculate his/her own purchase totals, the transaction will not go through.
Investments:
If you are interested in purchasing shares of MP Pharmaceuticals or having production/research facilities in your nation, please visit the investments section via the link above.
Employment:
If you want to join our great company, just read this section at the end.
Glossary and Index of Terms:
The basic template of all the products we sell is as follows:
Common Name:
Slang:
Scientific Name:
Category:
Indicated Usage:
Contraindications:
Routes:
Dosage:
Duration of Effects:
Onset of Effects:
Effects:
Side Effects:
Long Term Usage:
Overdose:
Potential Interactions:
Pregnancy Category:
Price:
Bulk Price:
Explanations:
Common Name: The common name of the product in question.
Slang: Any slang terms associated with the product
Scientific Name: The scientific name of the product in question
Category: A brief description/categorization of the product
Indicated Usage: Indicated use of the product
Contraindications: Who should not use the product?
Routes: How the product is used.
Dosage: How much of the product should be taken.
Onset of Effects:
Duration: How long the effects of the products last
Effects: What should happen to the user of the product?
Side Effects: Other things that can happen
Long Term Usage: What happens after you have been using the product for a while?
Overdose: What happens when you overdose
Pregnancy Category: Safety of use in pregnant or lactating women. Categorized as A, B, C, D or X, where A means that the substance will not harm the fetus or lactating infants and X is a guarantee that something will go wrong.
Price: How much the product costs per unit
Bulk Price: If available, any discounts that can be made through bulk orders.