MassPwnage
02-02-2007, 07:06
NationStates Parkour Association to hold Worldwide Jam in Timiocato:
2/1/07
12:30 p.m Pwnage AUT Time
MP Hong Kong
Article by Jida Liell
The founder and head of the NS Parkour Association, S. Jaleit Noka, has (finally) announced the location of this year's Worldwide Jam. It's been delayed this long mainly because Mr. Noka spent the last 30 nights trying to polish off a whole kilo of weed....or something. Maybe he simply had difficulty deciding on a location, who knows? After all, the location has to be clean, relatively free of war and crime, and at the very least, feel apathetic about people being in locations they were never meant to be in. Doomingsland was out; you were either on your knees praying, or sucking some crusty old Senator's dick. MP was out; the birthplace of Parkour had hosted too many worldwide jams already, and the environment was not conducive to beginners. Besides, Cherry Hill in northern MP hosted last year.
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w174/MassPwnage/My_Princess___Castle_by_crafaldar.jpg?t=1170397230
Cherry Hill, the location of last year's jam.
So what then? Seaburg? London? Portland? Sofia? Praefele?
Timiocato?
Yes, Timiocato. It was warm, the people, if not friendly, were at least apathetic and not excessively litigious. Nor were they prone to shooting at trespassers. It had the requisite transportation facilities. Best of all, they had clean public restrooms (*ahem.... I really hope the government of Praetonia is reading this).
"It just seemed like the natural choice you know? I can practice without getting arrested, and I can feel comfortable knowing I won't catch any strange diseases from a toilet seat." says Noka.
http://www.americanparkour.com/gallery2/d/10118-1/speed+vault2.jpg
S.Jaleit Noka, founder of the NS Parkour Association, demonstrates his L337 skills.
Noka, 45, founded NS Parkour association in 1976 while running away from a mob of bloodthirsty crack addicts in his native Badowe. Since then, Parkour (derived from the French term Parcours du Combat), has blossomed into a worldwide movement. Practitioners, known as traceurs, try to get from location to location as quickly and efficiently as possible. Tricking and other aesthetically pleasing movements are relegated to the discipline of Freerunning, an activity also endorsed by the NSPKA.
Noka founded the high-publicity Worldwide Jam in 1990 to spread Parkour like Albertina Semperesta spreads her legs. The world's elite traceurs, and plenty of amateurs always show up, as well as television camera crews. The event has always generated positive publicity, thanks to Noka's ability to choose locations wisely.
The 17th annual Worldwide Jam will begin at 8:00 a.m on June 2nd, 2007 in the Piazza del Risorgimento in Timiocato. Temperatures are expected to be a balmy 40 degrees Celsius, and the weather should be quite dry. Traceurs will over the course of two weeks, train under Noka and other professional traceurs, explore Timiocato, give Freerunning and Tricking demonstrations, and encourage the local citizenry to join in.
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w174/MassPwnage/Aircon_Alley_part_i_by_archlover.jpg?t=1170397289
This is what Timiocato looks like (sort of), the building in the background is the BNP Paribas building.
Copyright, 2007, MP News Vomitorium
2/1/07
12:30 p.m Pwnage AUT Time
MP Hong Kong
Article by Jida Liell
The founder and head of the NS Parkour Association, S. Jaleit Noka, has (finally) announced the location of this year's Worldwide Jam. It's been delayed this long mainly because Mr. Noka spent the last 30 nights trying to polish off a whole kilo of weed....or something. Maybe he simply had difficulty deciding on a location, who knows? After all, the location has to be clean, relatively free of war and crime, and at the very least, feel apathetic about people being in locations they were never meant to be in. Doomingsland was out; you were either on your knees praying, or sucking some crusty old Senator's dick. MP was out; the birthplace of Parkour had hosted too many worldwide jams already, and the environment was not conducive to beginners. Besides, Cherry Hill in northern MP hosted last year.
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w174/MassPwnage/My_Princess___Castle_by_crafaldar.jpg?t=1170397230
Cherry Hill, the location of last year's jam.
So what then? Seaburg? London? Portland? Sofia? Praefele?
Timiocato?
Yes, Timiocato. It was warm, the people, if not friendly, were at least apathetic and not excessively litigious. Nor were they prone to shooting at trespassers. It had the requisite transportation facilities. Best of all, they had clean public restrooms (*ahem.... I really hope the government of Praetonia is reading this).
"It just seemed like the natural choice you know? I can practice without getting arrested, and I can feel comfortable knowing I won't catch any strange diseases from a toilet seat." says Noka.
http://www.americanparkour.com/gallery2/d/10118-1/speed+vault2.jpg
S.Jaleit Noka, founder of the NS Parkour Association, demonstrates his L337 skills.
Noka, 45, founded NS Parkour association in 1976 while running away from a mob of bloodthirsty crack addicts in his native Badowe. Since then, Parkour (derived from the French term Parcours du Combat), has blossomed into a worldwide movement. Practitioners, known as traceurs, try to get from location to location as quickly and efficiently as possible. Tricking and other aesthetically pleasing movements are relegated to the discipline of Freerunning, an activity also endorsed by the NSPKA.
Noka founded the high-publicity Worldwide Jam in 1990 to spread Parkour like Albertina Semperesta spreads her legs. The world's elite traceurs, and plenty of amateurs always show up, as well as television camera crews. The event has always generated positive publicity, thanks to Noka's ability to choose locations wisely.
The 17th annual Worldwide Jam will begin at 8:00 a.m on June 2nd, 2007 in the Piazza del Risorgimento in Timiocato. Temperatures are expected to be a balmy 40 degrees Celsius, and the weather should be quite dry. Traceurs will over the course of two weeks, train under Noka and other professional traceurs, explore Timiocato, give Freerunning and Tricking demonstrations, and encourage the local citizenry to join in.
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w174/MassPwnage/Aircon_Alley_part_i_by_archlover.jpg?t=1170397289
This is what Timiocato looks like (sort of), the building in the background is the BNP Paribas building.
Copyright, 2007, MP News Vomitorium