NationStates Jolt Archive

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First invented to clean out the Elf Colony on Orion XVII, the Landshark Rifle releases a baby land shark. Using an advanced system of hormone treatment and electronic stimulators, the gun's mechanics cause the shark to grow to its full size in seconds and home in on its intended target, bringing with it one of the most unpleasant forms for passing into the hereafter.

If other enemies are nearby it will continue on for several more victims. During this spree, you can change weapons or fire off another shark for double the bloodcurdling screams.

Useful and great at parties, the Landshark Rifle was voted 2004's "Gun of the Year" by the Monarch Heights Gazette.

And now…the moment you’ve all been waiting for! As of six hours ago…Monarch Arms Incorporated is selling these humoursly fiendish weapons for 2,000 © (Imperial Credits) each! Order now and have the weapon delivered with five frozen sharks free! What a deal!

Quite obviously out of character, although I imagine that Amner would say something along similar lines.

SB, I am familiar with who you are (and proclaim to be) on the Nationstates forums. (You might or might not be aware that there are some of us who poke around both forums. I find it to be enlightening as to the capabilities of the NS RPing community.) I also know what you're trying to do with this thread. Yes, ha-ha, you made a funny. You've reposted an absurd design to once again poke fun at International Incidents, most notably the numerous storefronts located here. You want someone to buy it, so you can kick back and laugh. Well good job, you got us. Even the Draftroom was fooled.

But as a fellow Nationstates (as in the game, not the forum) player, I want to ask you a favor. Please stop. You've had your sophmoric laugh. Go back and snicker with your colleagues about the desperately lacking humor in this thread. Thanks.

-Player tired of hearing the incessant "II VS NS" shit rehashed over and over.