NationStates Jolt Archive

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The Dominion of DMG

Press Release: Dominion National News
-January 1st, 2007
4:47 DST (Dominion Standard Time)

During the wee hours of the morning, as most citizens were off celebrating the new year's arrival, a diligent federal employee of the census bureau worked into the night. Low and behold he found a great flaw in the information. Quickly he ran to inform his superiors of the fatal error and within an hour half the employee base had arrived.

"You see," the Chief of the bureau explained at a press conference, "back in November a team of hackers broke into our computer database and released a hungry virus. It took our tech team nearly a week to weed it out, but apparently some of the information disappeared without anyone noticing. Our population counter lost over a hundred and fifty million souls that only today did one of our technicians found."

Another federal official took over the microphone a moment later and continued the briefing. "After much work restoring the information and back logging through the database, we discovered the true date and identity of the three billionth citizen born. Persephone Titiana was born to loving parents nearly two months ago. At this time she is being given one billion dollars from the Billion Dollar Child Fund as well as a life-long personal security detail of ex-commandos."

A most tremendous error corrected. As this new year rolls in, the nation belatedly celebrates the third echelon of the billion citizen error.

Dyelli Beybi was a country that liked to be informed. A pair of junior beaurocrats in the new administration sat around scratching their heads at this latest Press Release.

"Why are they giving some random kid a billion dollars?" one asked, in evident confusion.

"I don't know." the second shrugged, "Pakrahs* do strange things."

"Well why are they giving this kid Commandos to look after her?" the second continued, still in evident confusion.

"Probably to stop international terrorists from stealing the brat and holding it to ransom." the second explained, "Although you'd have thought with a billion dollars they'd be able to hire their own bodyguard."

"Wonder how many bodyguards they have?" the first mused, "A billion dollars is a fair bit of money, what's that mickey mouse money in Kronors?"

"One sec." the second beaurocrat tapped away at his computer, "That's 146,891,666 Kronor, 13 Shillings and a Groat... so a lot of money."

"I shall let the Cheka know." the first declared, "Perhaps they will find something interesting to do with this information."


*Derogatory word for foreigners

OOC: Jeez. That's like winning the best damn lottery in the world just by being born.

IC: The Errikan Empire sends its congratulations for your reaching this population threshold.

OOC: Hehehe, can anyone say 'Assasinate the damned lucky baby!'

OOC: Assassinate??? Now why would you do that? You gain nothing. Kidnap on the other hand...

ooc: Aye, lucky indeed. And there are three of them... one from one billion citizens, one from two billion citizens, and one from three billion citizens.

Then again, there are thousand other billionaires to kidnap... but I guess none so adorable. :D

ooc: Aye, lucky indeed. And there are three of them... one from one billion citizens, one from two billion citizens, and one from three billion citizens.

Then again, there are thousand other billionaires to kidnap... but I guess none so adorable. :D

You should have given $1 billion to the first one, $2 billion to the second one, and $3 billion to the third one. It does run the bill up a little bit, but whatever.

You should have given $1 billion to the first one, $2 billion to the second one, and $3 billion to the third one. It does run the bill up a little bit, but whatever.

Aye, but in our view, the first billion is the rarest and would have to get the most.

Perhaps a billion more to them each time... but what would the point of that be? What can you do with two billion that you can't with one billion?

OOC: Buy a Bigger house? or more bottles? or bouncy seats? or more dolls?

Aye, but in our view, the first billion is the rarest and would have to get the most.

Perhaps a billion more to them each time... but what would the point of that be? What can you do with two billion that you can't with one billion?

Good point. As a private citizen, anything beyond one hundred million really doesn't mean much more aside from the bragging rights.

Good point. As a private citizen, anything beyond one hundred million really doesn't mean much more aside from the bragging rights.

Or a larger personal army...

(<.<) (>.>)

Or a larger personal army...

(<.<) (>.>)

I assumed that you may not like "private citizens" to do that. However, some countries (such as mine) give more freedoms than others.

I assumed that you may not like "private citizens" to do that. However, some countries (such as mine) give more freedoms than others.

Aye, tis illegal here.