NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: This entire thread is meant to be funny, nothing about this is serious so do not take it as such. I do though, want people who are not stupid to post here, nothing that is like one sentence long or at least less then a paragraph [four sentences]. Just make up things as you go along, stories from boot camp or military actions between two countries. It is NS world nations though so no real nation names.Thnx and have fun.

Sgt. Gommery and Pvt. Lunsky sat inside their desert colored Humvee, the two were on patrol inside the Amir desert looking for small pockets of insurgents layered around this area. The radio played "Jimi Hendrix - Purple Haze" and it was obvious the two inside the jeep were completely stoned.

"Its almost like the music's talking to you, man." Lunsky said as his hand reached up and placed a cigarette looking object into his mouth, simply put a joint.

"Thats retarded...you retarded, god damn I'm." Gommery replied sighing deeply.

"Well, thanks for the positive feedback." Lunsky turned away and closed his eyes ignoring Gommery.

The song continued on playing as Gommery rolled down the window. The smoke had made the windows fogged over and Gommery was trying to see outside. The sound of a nearby engine caught his attention and as the smoke poured out of the jeep Lunsky woke up. Gommery wiped the front window and as it became clear a dark round object was staring back at the two. Lunsky stuck his head out of the window to catch a glimpse of what was infront of them, a giant TH-301 tank sat only a few feet from their position along with several insurgent soldiers with guns raised. Lunsky turned his head to Gommery.

"Theres some guys out there wanting to see you." Lunsky said.

"Eh, fuck them. Im going to sleep." Gommery replied.

"Sarge...ummm." Lunsky said as the tank began to back up.

One of the insurgents poped his head out of the tank and motioned the open fire command right before the soldiers fired the commander yelled out.

"DRINK YOUR OVALTINE, BITCH."

The soldiers began to place hundreds of holes into the Humvee and a second later the tank fired a shell blowing the jeep to piece's. The tank commander cheered along with the soldiers who were now screwing around with the burning Humvee and the bodies inside.

[Eh, its not that good but hey I had fun writing it.]

Secret Government Facility, Hoboken NJ

Deep within the secrect research facility it was business as usual. Military technicians were busy, mechanics were building, and emn with white lab coats were doing whatever it was that men in white lab coats do. A Fiat 500 pulled up to the gate.
"Good morning, sir" the guard at the checkpoint said. The window rolled down and an army general with aviator sunglasses and a fat cuban cigar poked his head out of the window.
"What makes you think it's a good morning, private?" he asked through the smoke.
"I drank my Ovaltine today sir" the private replied nervously.
"Good man, you'll make colonel someday" and the general drove on. The small car drove through the base and stopped at a on-base Burger King. The general stepped out and looked around. He then turned back to his car and pulled out a golf bag and pulled it over his shoulder and walked into the Burger King. Inside, people were eating and what not. He approached a door that said "Janitor's Closet" the door swung open and he stepped in. There was a bucket on the ground
"Free Bird" he said into it and the closet which was in fact an elevator began to descend into the ground, deep past the surface...

A colonel approcahed him. "General Stark, it's good to see you" he said.
"Colonel whose name isn't relivant to the story, it's good to be here" Genreal Stark replied. They walked down the corridors which were state-of-the-art and really fancy. After chatting and admiring a female clerks ass they finally made it to "The Room with the Big Screen" Inside there was a big screen with smaller screen around it with control panels on the floor and everything that you'd expect to see in a movie about a room with a big screen. The technicians were busy typing on their computers.
"Status report...Is it ready?" Stark asked a random person.
"I'm just the janitor, sir" the janitor said as he continued to mop the floor.
"Don't give me excuses, I want a status report dammit!" and he karate chopped the janitor in his face.
"General Stark" a voice rang out, who wasn't a custodian "It is ready. We only have a few calibrations to make before the test run can be conducted."
"Excellent..." Stark replied taking a puff of his cigar. "Mega Cheney is ready"

Next to the general a random tech guy gets out a stereo which begins to play diabolically dramatic music and the general begins to laugh in a diabolical manner.