No endorse
24-12-2006, 07:37
Dear Saint Nicholas,
Greetings from Atal Amner, the leader of No Endorse. Sometimes it seems so cold here that we might as well be neighbors, and I encourage you to come visit New Heisen some time, I'd love to host you. (I'm sure that Violet would thoroughly enjoy spending some time with Mrs. Claus as well)
However, as you and I both know, this is not the reason for my writing. The reason is relatively simple: that time of year is rapidly approaching once again. And while you are no doubt receiving billions of letters from the oppressed masses of this world (and, unfortunately, an equal amount from the inferior scum of this world), I would like to take a few moments to intervene on behalf of myself and my charges, the citizens of No Endorse. We (myself included) have been terribly good this year, as I shall expand upon presently.
I have presided over one of the most productive years in the Military Junta's history. We successfully intervened on behalf of Fuggalania in their war (if one could call 'pest control' a war) against the savage and uncivilized Rophearans, and have entered into the APOC. I also presided over the move from Irathria to Haven, and though our location might not be the most beneficial due to the mess left by its previous inhabitants, we have rebuilt our soaring skyscrapers to their former glory. On the economic front, factory output is up 7.2% over the same period last year, and 3% over last quarter, a testament to our meritocratic system. In addition, Civil Protection has never been more efficient, with over three dozen terrorist arrests in a four day period last month. And, with the introduction of our new mechanized Crowd Suppression Gun in the Civil Protection Service, we have been able to keep unrest at an all time low, allowing productivity to soar even higher!
I have not yet spoken of what I desire for Christmas, however. I would most sincerely like to see lower civil unrest as the re-education program is implemented, and higher productivity for Christmas, in addition to several new Command Battleships for the high seas fleets. (some nuclear shells for them, while not exactly necessary, would be a splendid plus) Also, there are these green fuzzy slippers that I saw in "National Leader's Home and Garden" magazine last week, and tried to order, but they were sold out. Could you get me some of those? My old ones are in simply horrid condition. My wife Violet would like a new dress, you know the one, it was on the front page of "First Lady's Weekly" a few months back, with the red? I forget who was wearing it, but it was the one with the off-the-shoulder things if I remember correctly. (Violet would be better able to tell you) Also, she has a fairly substantial list of books that she would like to get, she keeps my library staff on the run. Finally, please give the communists of this world several lumps coal each, because they most likely need it to warm their poor, desolate homes as they spend their days sitting about unproductively. Even creatures like communists deserve some Christmas cheer, right? (Thank goodness it's only once a year though)
Best regards to yourself and Mrs. Claus, and may your Elves be productive this year. I'm telling Air Traffic Control to stand down when they detect your sleigh.
Atal Amner
Atal Amner
Atal Amner sealed the envelope and slid his letter into his mailbox. Miss Vickers, his secretary, had already left for her holiday, something about getting married, and he was the only one left in the building. Someone would come in the morning and get the letter, but for now, he retired to his study.
He sat in his armchair, staring at the fire flickering in the colossal fireplace before him. His eyes traced numerous shadows cast by the small flame, finally settling upon his wife, sitting opposite him and reading a book. "Violet, do you think that any other leaders are mailing out Christmas Letters tonight?"
"Of course not," she responded, eyes not leaving her page. "Everyone knows that Santa doesn't exist!"
"What a preposterous notion, my dear. Just look at the radar records! You can quite clearly see him traveling at several times the speed of sound."
She rolled her eyes and buried herself deeper in her novel, a thriller about Macabeean soldiers on some distant front. "If you say so Atal." Those photoshopped readouts had been a fun prank, but in hindsight might have been a tactical error on her part.... "But I am relatively certain that most of the other leaders out there are under the impression that Santa does not exist."
As he lay in bed, staring at the patterns the moonlight cast on the wall, Atal couldn't shake the thought he'd had earlier. What were other leader's Christmas letters like? He finally drifted off to an uneasy sleep, determined to set his intelligence agency to the task of ascertaining this crucial piece of information.
ooc: As you've probably guessed, the point of this thread is as follows: In the Spirit of Christmas, write a letter to Santa from the point of view of your leader. (or other interesting character) Let's see who gets Coal this year, and who gets shinier things.
Not sure if this has been done before, but let's see what this year brings.
Greetings from Atal Amner, the leader of No Endorse. Sometimes it seems so cold here that we might as well be neighbors, and I encourage you to come visit New Heisen some time, I'd love to host you. (I'm sure that Violet would thoroughly enjoy spending some time with Mrs. Claus as well)
However, as you and I both know, this is not the reason for my writing. The reason is relatively simple: that time of year is rapidly approaching once again. And while you are no doubt receiving billions of letters from the oppressed masses of this world (and, unfortunately, an equal amount from the inferior scum of this world), I would like to take a few moments to intervene on behalf of myself and my charges, the citizens of No Endorse. We (myself included) have been terribly good this year, as I shall expand upon presently.
I have presided over one of the most productive years in the Military Junta's history. We successfully intervened on behalf of Fuggalania in their war (if one could call 'pest control' a war) against the savage and uncivilized Rophearans, and have entered into the APOC. I also presided over the move from Irathria to Haven, and though our location might not be the most beneficial due to the mess left by its previous inhabitants, we have rebuilt our soaring skyscrapers to their former glory. On the economic front, factory output is up 7.2% over the same period last year, and 3% over last quarter, a testament to our meritocratic system. In addition, Civil Protection has never been more efficient, with over three dozen terrorist arrests in a four day period last month. And, with the introduction of our new mechanized Crowd Suppression Gun in the Civil Protection Service, we have been able to keep unrest at an all time low, allowing productivity to soar even higher!
I have not yet spoken of what I desire for Christmas, however. I would most sincerely like to see lower civil unrest as the re-education program is implemented, and higher productivity for Christmas, in addition to several new Command Battleships for the high seas fleets. (some nuclear shells for them, while not exactly necessary, would be a splendid plus) Also, there are these green fuzzy slippers that I saw in "National Leader's Home and Garden" magazine last week, and tried to order, but they were sold out. Could you get me some of those? My old ones are in simply horrid condition. My wife Violet would like a new dress, you know the one, it was on the front page of "First Lady's Weekly" a few months back, with the red? I forget who was wearing it, but it was the one with the off-the-shoulder things if I remember correctly. (Violet would be better able to tell you) Also, she has a fairly substantial list of books that she would like to get, she keeps my library staff on the run. Finally, please give the communists of this world several lumps coal each, because they most likely need it to warm their poor, desolate homes as they spend their days sitting about unproductively. Even creatures like communists deserve some Christmas cheer, right? (Thank goodness it's only once a year though)
Best regards to yourself and Mrs. Claus, and may your Elves be productive this year. I'm telling Air Traffic Control to stand down when they detect your sleigh.
Atal Amner
Atal Amner
Atal Amner sealed the envelope and slid his letter into his mailbox. Miss Vickers, his secretary, had already left for her holiday, something about getting married, and he was the only one left in the building. Someone would come in the morning and get the letter, but for now, he retired to his study.
He sat in his armchair, staring at the fire flickering in the colossal fireplace before him. His eyes traced numerous shadows cast by the small flame, finally settling upon his wife, sitting opposite him and reading a book. "Violet, do you think that any other leaders are mailing out Christmas Letters tonight?"
"Of course not," she responded, eyes not leaving her page. "Everyone knows that Santa doesn't exist!"
"What a preposterous notion, my dear. Just look at the radar records! You can quite clearly see him traveling at several times the speed of sound."
She rolled her eyes and buried herself deeper in her novel, a thriller about Macabeean soldiers on some distant front. "If you say so Atal." Those photoshopped readouts had been a fun prank, but in hindsight might have been a tactical error on her part.... "But I am relatively certain that most of the other leaders out there are under the impression that Santa does not exist."
As he lay in bed, staring at the patterns the moonlight cast on the wall, Atal couldn't shake the thought he'd had earlier. What were other leader's Christmas letters like? He finally drifted off to an uneasy sleep, determined to set his intelligence agency to the task of ascertaining this crucial piece of information.
ooc: As you've probably guessed, the point of this thread is as follows: In the Spirit of Christmas, write a letter to Santa from the point of view of your leader. (or other interesting character) Let's see who gets Coal this year, and who gets shinier things.
Not sure if this has been done before, but let's see what this year brings.