NationStates Jolt Archive

The north eastern part of Zukariaa was called, by the Zukariaans, Preußen. Preußen is the German translation for Prussia.

To the Jaredcohenians, however, it was called Cuprosk. The name was fitting due to the large amounts of Copper deposits.

For nearly 600 years, this area was disputed. The Zukariaans control it, but the Jaredcohenians lay claim to it. Near the Jaredcohenian/Zukariaan border, skirmishes regularly took place. The Zukariaans always triumphed, however.

This would not be the case today. Rather, this month.

SIC: KRIEGSAGE (OOC: Warsaw, I'm witty. War in German is Krieg and Saw is Sage, Kreeg-sah-gay.)

Major General Tsublis stood in the city limits of Kriegsage, right in the area of the military base. The Kriegsage Military Base and Academy was no Novozykrysk...wasn't nearly as cold. The are near Kriegsage was more temperate, a farm land.

"Sir?" A colonel walked up, the boy was in the military for probably 5 years. Not a conscript, an actual person who signed up for the military. He had balls.

"Yes, boy?" Tsublis, a man well into his 40s, called everyone boy. Except his superiors. He would even call the leader of a nation (not of his own, no one would ever disgrace the Motherland) boy. "Well, boy, what is it?"

"We have 27 Battlestations ready for battle, sir. The other 23 are still being prepped, still a little dinged from the war games."

"We did show Croma not to fuck with Kriegsage, didn't we, boy?"

"Yes, but Novozykrsk beat us."

"They lost to Coheningrad, boy!"

"The guys at Coheningrad are cheaters, sir. They are the elite squadrens and secret police."

"Why are you talking to me, boy? Fix the damned Battlestation. The Tyraningrad says that we need to be out of here and into Cuprosk by the day after tomorrow."

"I believe Srgt. Kohem said that all Battlestations would be at full functionability by 7PM."

"It's almost 6. If we want to get into Cuprosk...then it better be ready. Tell those lazy bastards, boy, that if they don't get them done by 7:30 I will castrate them with my bayonet."

"Y..y..you're not serious, right sir?"

"Haha! You have much to learn, boy!"

The Battlestations (OOC: the Jaredcohenian heavy tank. play Battalion Wars to find out.) were ready by 7:35. There were no castrations, thankfully.

"Let's move out!" Tank Commander Ibowitz exclaimed. There were 150 Battlestations, 75 Hermanator tanks (again, Battalion wars), 20 helicopters in the sky, and 50,000 men. They marched, 50 in a line down the dusty dirt paved roads of the Jaredcohenian farmlands. Farmers looked towards the road as a cloud of dust as thousands of men marched, a cadence of footsteps that could be mistaken as a parade.

They would enter Zukariaa at around 11PM the next day.

SIC:
Supreme General Henry Corrol II stared in disbeleif at the screen at the front of the room. Next to him was his father, the High Commander Henry Corrol, and Major General Fürbourg. The screen displayed an overhead view of a large area of land, namely Preussen, with two parts zoomed in on. First was Memel, showing Zukariaan troops, motorized divisions, armor, artillery, and several strategic bombers flying high as they moved forward to hit emplacements, should there be any.

The other one was south of there, and it showed Jaredcohenian troops moving into Preussen, headed for the coast.

"What the hell..?" was the first word spoken, and it came from General Copenhauf, one of the lower generals of the meeting.

"Goddammit, this is a damn botch if I've ever seen one." growled Fürbourg, standing up with an angry face.

"It's a coincidence. We need to reinforce Preussen quickly. We've seen them, they've probably seen us." the High Commander said, standing up. His military uniform was decorated almost endlessly.

"Shouldn't we ask them what they're doing?" asked the Supreme General.

"No, son, because we're doing the same thing as them. We'll leave that bit to them, not us." with that, he walked out of the room. The Generals were left wide eyed at the situation, but gave the order to mobolize the Corrolstadt garrison to move southward and cut off the advancing Jaredcohenians.

THE ZUKARIAAN-JAREDCOHENIAN BORDER.

SIC: General Tsublis sat in a Sotskaya Armored Personnel Carrier, he was at a large 32 inch plasma television. Built into it was a webcam and a microphone.

"How fairs the mission, Tsublis?" The Premier, who was also on camera, asked.

"Well, 75 Hermans aren't going to serve us well...you gave us more Battlestations for some strange reason."

"My books says that in Kriegsage there was 250 ready for you."

"We only had 75. The others must not have been ready."

"Tell those jerk-offs to get their lazy asses. Cuprosk is probably going to be reinforced pretty damn well, Yuri." No one called Tsublis by his first name, and if anything a man 20 years younger than him called Tsublis Yuri. "You hear me, Yuri?"

"Sorry, there's a bit of bumps on this road. Seseerians didn't pave it that great."

"Lazy bastards. Soon there will be nothing here. All that copper...I can smell it now."

"Sir...last time I checked copper didn't have a scent."

"Did I fucking ask you? Get back to work!"

"Power to the Proletariat."

"Power to the Proletariat. Get back to work." The screen went black.

"That fucker. If it was his dad..."

"Sir! We're approaching a settlement."

"We are? Damn, that was fast!"
IC:
Outside the APC, morale was high. Troops wanted to reclaim the Motherland-all of it. Boys from all over Jaredcohenia-from Kriegsage all the way to Uransk-marched along. Each of the men was outfitted with an AK-147 (keep in mind PMT lolol), 5 grenades, a small flag of the SFRJC, and some other military-man stuffs. The tanks drove along at the same pace of the men.

ZUKARIAAN-JAREDCOHENIAN BORDER

SIC: General Tsublis was outside of his APC, a small camp set up 2km away from the border zone. 10,000 soldiers were set up at the camp.

"Sir! Incoming armor from the south!" Blasted on his radio. Yuri ignored it. "Sir?! You there?! Sir?!"

"You fucking moron! The south is our land!"

"Oops...sorry..sir..." Click. There were four Sotskaya APCs, followed by a long string of armor.

"There must be at least 175 Hermans there."

Off came a young general, Igor Wurslaw. Wurslaw was just a city boy, born and raised in south Kriegsage...he took an APC going anywhere. Now that we've gotten Journey out of our heads... "You Yuri Tsublis?"

"Yes, are you the backup from Kriegsage?"

"I'm also going to be in charge of this place. Jointly."

"What, does the Tyraningrad think I'm too old?"

"Honestly, I'm sure they do, pops."

"Boy, did you just call me pops?"

"I did. I'm the same rank as you. I decided that your armor wasn't enough and called in the big boys. I can't believe of all things that the senile grandpa of war forgot artillery and rockets." As he said that, coincidentally, the artillery that was brought and the trucks with rockets on them drove by. "What are the odds?"

"It almost seems that some teenager is telling this entire story, doesn't it?"

"You really are senile, pops."

LATER IN THE DAY

IC: Battlestations and Hermans moved through the Zukariaan country side.

"Hide! Immigration police!" A Seseerian laborer screamed. As that was yelled, at least three dozen Seseerians scrambled.

"Come back here you worthless pieces of shit!" A farmer screamed, holding a shotgun. "Get back here!"

"Watch them scramble like the cockroaches they are!" They were fired at.

EDENBURG: 1KM

The incoming Armor division was 14KM from the border, Edenburg being in range of the rockets.

"ZAD2 reporting. Fire rockets."

"This is Border Camp. We copy. Rockets to be fired in two minutes."

A small boy walked down the street with his mother in the busy afternoon of Edenburg. It was a small town, with a population only in the thousands. It was basically on the border of Jaredcohenia, and in the center of agricultural Zukariaa. There was a loud noise suddenly, coming from all directions, it seemed.

"What's that sound?" the boy asked his mother. She didn't know. Suddenly their was an explosion nearby that sent them both tumbling backwards. The boy sat up to find his mother. She was nowhere in sight.

"Mom..?" he called out. His face was badly cut, the ground was charred and rubbled, and the skin on his arms was peeled. His face was dark from the explosion. A fire raged from an exploded car nearby, and all around was the sound of ore and more missiles hitting. The boy stood up.

"Mom?!" he yelled out, horsely. He then saw her. She was lying on the ground, pinned by something. The air seemed to waver in front of her from the heat of the ground where the explosion had occured. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Mom!" he yelled, just as a missile hit and killed both of them.




"Jesus H. Fuckin' Christ Almighty." swore Colonel Hapsburg. He looked down from the hill at the burning town of Edenburg and the surrounding farmland. He was commanding an armored and motorized group that was supposed to arm civilians in the area to keep the Jaredcohenians busy and raid them while his group reinforced positions. Then the rest of the Corrolstadt garrison would arrive and they would advance on the Jaredcohenian positions under artillery and bomber cover.

"What sir?" asked a lieutenant.

"Are you fucking stupid, kid? Look at Edenburg you cocksuckin' sack of shit."

"S-sorry sir."

"Damn right you are. Let's get movin'."

Colonel Hapsburg was well-known for being an ass and very aggressive. Little did he know about the agreement that had taken place between the two commanding governments of this "invasion".

ZUKARIAA, 5KM AWAY FROM THE ZUKARIAAN-JAREDCOHENIAN BORDER

The soldiers marched and marched and marched along, their feet pounding the ground at a steady beat.

"What do they even grow here?"

"No idea."

"Looks like wheat."

"Maybe this is where they grow kaiser rolls." The marching men laughed, they needed some comic relief. In the age of APCs and Transports, they were marching.

"All this talk about food is making me hungry. Last night's rations were hardly enough."

"It seemed enough. A piece of steak and some potatoes."

"Sergei, it was a sliver of undercooked dead cow."

"You try living in Uransk and see how much you get, Mr. I Grew Up In Yassiligrad!"

"Sergei, Ivan, Boris...shut up! Keep marching!"

"Yes sir!"
~~~~~~~~~~
"Sir! Reports are in that Edenburg has been destroyed."

"What's the next town?"

"It is Aushlitz, General Wurslaw. Hey...where's General Tsublis?"

"Sleeping. He's an old fart. I can't believe they sent me to take over his position...I served under him years back, brilliant man. But he's senile. Can't remember the last time he brushed his teeth. Pity."

"Onward!" The tanks roared.

"Fuck! Immigration police!" The Seseerians screamed and scurried away.

"Damn bastads scarin' away my work!" Farmers organized, they had shotguns. "Git away from 'ere, ya' grimey bastads!" They were ignored by the marching Red Army. The farmers fired.

"What the fuck was that for? That hurt! Thank God for body armor, eh Serg?"

"I believe some factory in Coheningrad makes it, not God." They fired again. "You killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!" The man was fired at.

Colonel Hapsburg's group was already moving back to redirect the Corrolstadt garrison to Auslitz, which was directly in the path of the Jaredcohenians. Meanwhile, the now organized farmers started harassing the Jaredcohenians. They would slowly wear them down as they moved onwards.

"There du are, Russky." A 17 year old Zukariaan was hidden in the grass of a crossroads. He was a sharpshooter of sorts, and he shot fast. Off the sides of the road were two dozen men of "the Edenburg Militia". They were ready to ambush the enemy as it passed by. As soon as the first shot was fired by the sharpshooter, they would attack with their various rifles and shotguns.

The Jaredcohenians approached the crossroads, and the shot was fired, followed by a second one, and then another. Just then, the two dozen men jumped out and fired off as many shots as possible before ducking back and scattering.

"Ahhhhh! I've been hit!"

"Duck! Fire back!" Bullets roared out of twenty rifles, then 19 rifles, then 18 rifles, then 17 rifles...men had been shot who had been standing in the front of the line. Five men had been shot dead from the militia men. "Kill Fritz! Kill the damn Krauts! Make Adolf bleed!"

"Surely these damn Krauts can't outpower our superior weaponry, right?" Rattattatt.

"Fritz knows things about good weapons. Only things they know about are big tits, beer, and weapons."

"My girlfriend back in Yasilli has a 36C."

"All Zukariaan broads have those and bigger, my girl's got a 34B. It's the water here."

"Damn! My girl's got a 34A!"

"Stop talking about tits and kill Adolf!"

"Just because you're a virgin don't mean we can't talk about fine tits!"

"Aaaarghhhh!" A man was shot. 14/20 in this little group were left.

"Full auto! Kill 'em!"

Most of the men had scattered, but several were hit with the full auto firing coming from the Jaredcohenians. A single Zukariaan stumbled out of the brush, bleeding from his chest. He cluched it, and looked up at the Jaredcohenians in pain.

"What the fuck?" one of them said. The Zukariaan lifted his rifle to fire, but it hit a tank and bounced into a Seseerians leg, dropping him in the middle of the road to be run down by the same tank that the bullet bounced off of.

"Get the fucker!!!" the Jaredcohenians let loose on the Zukariaan, ripping him to shreds.

-----

The defence of Auslitz had been being set up for a long time now. The Jaredcohenians would be hounded by the Edenburg Malitia until they reached a huge blockade of civilian vehicles and cratered road. Behind that were several makeshift MG nests, and then open fields where plenty of tank fighting and man to man fighting would take place. There was no miraculous defence as there had been in the now legendary Battle of Kaiserburg, where 2000 men held off an entire invading force of Jaredcohenians while surrounded and cut off.

Still, it would be a fight. 20,000 men from the Corrolstadt garrison had been sent down to defend it, and it would be defended in the name of the Fatherland by every able bodied man in the city if neccessary.

10 KM SOUTH OF AUSTLITZ, ZUKARIAA

"Rockets are in range of Austlitz. Fire at will!" Austlitz was a bigger city than Edenburg, that's for sure. In the seemingly long march from Edenburg, the improved after 100 years Katyusha rockets were reloaded. Each truck carried 15 rockets-and 10 trucks had fired, so hopefully it would rain 150 missiles on the Zukariaan town.

The Jaredcohenians had no idea at all what they were coming into. The entire town could've been on vacation or full military back up. Hopefully, the Zukariaans wouldn't have any air assault planned. If they did...sucks to be a Jaredcohenian.

A sole man carried the Jaredcohenian flag above his head.

The 150 rockets came raining down on Auslitz, tearing areas apart, and in one area, collapsing several buildings into the streets. Vehicles were hit, people were hit, and the Auslitz-Fürher, basically the Mayor of Auslitz, was killed. General Fürbourg, who had been quickly flown to Auslitz in the time since Edenburg was destroyed, was now in command.

Immidiatly, the bombers stationed in the Auslitz airport began flying towards the advancing Jaredcohenians. From above, the pilots could see the significant infrastructure damage that had been dealt by the Jaredcohenian rockets.

Each of these bombers would drop it's full payload onto the Jaredcohenians, while a dozen others were flying ahead to crater the road behind them, as they had no doubt that they could force them to retreat right into the destroyed roads.

The pilots were even more surprised to find that the Jaredcohenian force had absolutely no anti-air.

"Are these people fuckin' stupid? Goddamn, this will be a pleasure." the leader of the formation spoke, then the group let loose.

"Fuck! Bombers spotted!"

"Who's the dipshit who said no fucking anti-air?!"

Of course, this 'dipshit' was General Yuri Tsublis.

SIC:

THE GENERALS' APC

"How could you fucking forget, of all FUCKING things, anti-air?! I thought it was fuckin' stupid of you to forget to bring long range weapons...but you forgot anti-air?!" General Wurslaw screamed, the vein on his neck bulged out.

"Don't you scream at me, boy!"

"You're a fucking moron! I will say whatever the fuck I want to you, you senile FUCK! No wonder they sent me to replace you!"

"...Replace me?"

"Are you as fucking senile as you seem to be? Yes! Replace you! You can't even remember fucking ANTI-AIR! All of these men are going to be slaughtered!"

"Retreat, all men!"

"All men. Bullshit. You're staying here. Get out of my face."

"I'm a higher rank than you, boy!"

"Check out my stars. Three. How many do you have? 3." Tsublis was just owned. "Get out of my face." Tsublis smacked Wurslaw. "What part of get out of my fuckin' face do you not understand?" Another smack. Wurslaw proceded to punch Tsublis in the face, knocking him out. "Don't fuck with the natives, Yuri. Go back to that hellhole you're from. Oh, that's right. You're going to Hell right now."

"Sir! Orders?"

"We can't outrun a god damned bomber squad. Have 30,000 men and most of the tanks move on, the rest retreat back towards the border. I can't believe I'm succumbing to cowardice...but if we're ever going to get Cuprosk back..."


IC: Marching on

The 30,000 men who were doomed to their death marched on towards Austlitz, unaware of the overhead attack that was ahead of them. They were also completely unaware of the men leaving behind them.

The garrison stayed put while the bombers did their work. They were cratering the roads in front of the still advancing Jaredcohenians and in front of the retreating ones. Once that was throughly done, they began bombing the forces themselves. Artillery set up in (if it was still operational) and around the city began firing out words, cratering the road even more and hitting Jaredcohenians that got close. Eventually, they would reach a gigantic pile up of civilian vehicles, and by then, they would be worn down and demoralized from the massive bombing.

"Fuck!" screamed Wurslaw, watching from his rear window the deaths of the 30,000 men. A huge crater was in front of him, but it was manageable to be passed.

"Fire artillery!" Some artillery that hadn't been damaged was able to be fired, along with a few Katyusha V rocket systems. All in all, two divisions of 10 K-VRS, each with 15 rockets, fired. A few Howitzers survived, not many. Maybe 6 of 30 were functionable, 3 of 24 being somewhat able to work, and 21 not working at all.

"Retreat! All men! Retreat! Get back to Jaredcohenia!!!!" a soldier screamed on a loudspeaker, but retreating wouldn't help at all. Several thousand men had already fell to the Zukariaan menace, falling back would just lower Jaredcohenian morale. It was their only option.

As the bombers returned to base, the Zukariaan troops advanced. With them came several thousand militiamen, ready to fight off the Jaredcohenian invasion.

"For the Fatherland, for the Kaiser, and for the High Commander!" they chanted, charging the retreating Jaredcohenians. The militiamen, not paying attention and caught up in the moment, fell into the craters in the roads. Tanks and fully loaded APCs charged forward to cut off stragglers, but an orders was given directly from the High Commander not to attack them once they crossed the border.


The High Commander sat at a long table, across from him was an unknown man. Next to Corrol was Kaiser Konrad II.

"Is this the man that invaded my great nation?" angrily asked Konrad.

"Shut up. Mikhail Cohen, as much as I would like to invade you for this, I'm not stupid enough to send my men into a freezing hell. I have a proposition for you." Corrol was speaking to the Premier of Jaredcohenia..

"Freezing hell? It's only 20 Fahrenheit in 'Sage. I think, never was good with those damned conversion ratios. Fuckin' Zukariaans and your silly degrees Fahrenheit. Can't use Centigrade. My men were getting a tad warm in your land. You only have a land that I want, I heard you on the fucking television screaming about how badly you wanted Rosbaningrad-my land's gateway to all the good ports in the West. Oh, and who the fuck are you, Grandpa?" He was referring to the Kaiser. "Some kind of roll?" Everyone older and a male to the Premier was Grandpa. Even if you were 35, you were Grandpa. "What's your proposition, Hanky? That's what my father called ya', Hanky."

The High Commander's eyebrow twitched a bit. This man was nothing like the light-hearted man his father was. This man was a dickhead. He glanced at Konrad, who looked like he wanted to kill Mikhail right then and there.

"See, that isn't exactly the best way to strengthen our alliance, still. I propose, firstly, the Tripartite." Henry slid a folder across the length of the table until it stopped right in front of Mikhail. It was the charter for the Tripartite Pact - The Pact of Tungsten.

"You sign that, and we will be more powerful than we ever were before. You sign that, and we take down Errikland and cut it up as we like." Konrad looked surprised. He had been an advocate of the Erriko-Zukariaan alliance formed many years ago.

"What the hell? Why don't you tell me these things?" he burst out.

"Konrad, you are Head of State. I am Head of Government. You sit and look pretty, I make the decisions. Shut your mouth." Corrol was obviously annoyed with Konrad.

"I still don't know who the fuck this Conartistrad is. Since when does Zukariaa have a cza-I mean Kaiser. Whatever. Same thing. You look angry, Connie. You too, Hankercheef. Something wrong?" He slid backwards in the roller chair, putting his muddy shoes on the wooden table. "Sorry, I had to do a little jogging earlier." Some mud fell off, hitting the desk. "What the fuck is a Tripartite? Tri has something to do with three...and I see two here-unless Connie counts here."

"My father was an isolationist, and don't you ever fucking call me Co-" Konrad was cut short.

"I'd like to ask you to shut your goddamn mouth unless you have something productive to say. You are in my nation, and you will do as I say while you are here. End of story. Now, the third nation that makes up the Tripartite is Undershi, your southern neighbor." the High Commander was on the verge of abandoning this plan and formally declaring war upon Jaredcohenia, but he knew that would be a mistake.

The Undershi border with Jaredcohenia was a long one, one fortified in places by concrete and razor wire, and in others merely by the massive distances that existed, massive swathes of grass land.
Undershi doctrine in the event of war between Zukariaa and Jaredcohenia could be summed up as... waiting. Wait for the two neighbors to batter each other a bit... and then, step in and offer to help negotiate a peace. And if that failed... well, then Undershi might get its lebensraum not in the dank jungles of the Southlands, but rather in the frozen wastes of Jaredcohenian Siberia. It was all purely theoretical, of course.
Theoretical. Not like the armoured divisions and the supporting mechanized divisions massing along the border. Theoretical. Like the concepts of international law and of justice.
The Ministry of Foreign Affairs had been instructed to see to it that the Jaredcohenian government knew what was at stake. Undershi would ask for peace, lobby for an alliance... and then, if that failed, it would come in on the side of the Zukariaans, their loyal allies.
That was how things would go. The only question left was how the Jaredcohenian government would respond.

Mikhail tugged at his tie. "Tough crowd. My dad said you were always a tight ass, all work and no play makes Henry a dull boy. I don't even know how I got here, I was told there were going to be virgins here. I see no virgins anywhere, unless Conni-Konrad has yet to deflower. Why turn on Errikland, though? I gotta admit, Christine is a bit on the bitchy side, but what has he ever done to you guys? I'm sorry, I've never even heard of Kaiser Konrad. You a new guy or something? I'll sign after I get my virgins, by the way."

"How dare you?" Konrad looked enraged at this point, and seemed to be searching for his luger when Corrol whispered something at him and calmed him down.

"The Errikans hold a lot of territory in many, many places. To the point that they should not be able to control it all, even. Most of it will be left nearly totally unguarded, especially in Arterus. Arterus' resources are amazing, and it would be foolish not to try and take it while it is open to us." Corrol passed another folder down detailing the available resources, defences, and all of the territories that Errikland had. Apparantly, most of it was "to protect shipping", and was not really defended much. It would all be easy pickings.

"When that is done, they'll be cut off from the vast resources they rake in from Arterus and we can hop right into their mainland. We have nothing against them, we simply want their resources."

"Hmm..." Cohen reached for his pocket, almost like he was reaching for his pistol, but grabbing a glasses case and opening it, donning his reading glasses. "So...they got oil here. I can always use some fine petrol...uranium. My favorite. Can always use some more nukes...fish...need fish...everything seems superb. I haven't been to Arterus since Bikini Fest '59...Don't know how it has changed since. Meh, I'll sign it. But I need some virgins. Preferably late teenagers, early twenties. I haven't gotten laid in a while...a few days." He signed the paper, Premier Mikhail V. Cohen.

"Good, good. Thus begins our territorial expansion. Lebensraum, quite literally. Imagine stuffing a billion people into the area we have been forced to."

The Kaiser looked mortified. He had been pushed around constantly, and he was beginning to feel resentful. The High Commander would only learn of his mistake someday in the future, but at the moment he simply watched.

Corrol waved his hand, as if somewhere someone could see him. Suddenly a Demoran woman walked into the room.

"Hallo!"