NationStates Jolt Archive

Empress Alexis I of Laquasa, age 22, is in need of a suitor of royal heritage. The Emporer will be interviewing all males of royal heritages. If your monarch wishes for a son to marry, the Princess is a perfect choice. Give the word if you are interested!

--Emporer Joman I of Laquasa

A large package was sent to the Emperor, mostly full of gifts of gold and silver jewelry. Laid upon all of the paper wrappings was a note, which said:

To the Divinely Gifted Empress Alexis I of Laquasa, Eternal Love of My Life

At the bottom of this declaration, Prince Leopold Salisbury had signed his name.

Also in the package was a gently wrapped painting and an envelope sealed with the Royal Seal of House Salisbury. Inside the envelope was a letter, written in very large, artistic print by the King, who was desperate to get his son married off:



http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/9138/cotenshirecoatofarmsee2.png

To the Most Beautiful Empress Alexis I of Laquasa, and the Noble Emporer Joman I

On this day, granted by the Divine Providence, Cotenshirish Christian God, the Most Honourable, Most Sublime, Most Potent King William Salisbury V submits, with divine consent, to the Most Gracious Empress Alexis I of Laquasa, a proposal, conceived in thought through unparalleled wisdom by the Most Christian, Most Potent, Most Serene King, and inspired under guidance from the Most Holy and Undivided Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Enlightened by the Noble Emperor Joman I, whom through correspondence the Most Glorious, Most Serene, Most Potent King hath been enthralled, the noble and Christian wish, that being of Holy Matrimony, which brings jubilation even among the Most Divine Seraphs of Heaven, of the Most Beautiful Empress Alexis I hath been acknowledged by the Most Serene, Most Potent King. So be it.

It is with Great Enlightened Holy Splendor that His Cotenshirick Majesty, the Most Potent, Most Serene, Most Christian King, now presents forth, in sincere countenance as wished by the Holy Divine Providence, a Most Sublime Submission, inspired by the Divine Providence, from, and only from, whom all blissful and eternal blessings of salvation are channeled, to the Most Magnificent Empress Alexis I of Laquasa, for consensual marriage and other such acts as redeemed by the contracting parties.

It is with great and industrious haste, as not to exceed and strain the breath of an Empress, that the Most Sublime, Most Potent, Most Serene, Most Christian King presents for the approval of Empress Alexis I of Laquasa, and the other Great Lords of Laquasa Isle, the Most Potent, Most Serene King’s son by moral birth, the Most Noble, Most Fertile Prince Leopold Salisbury, as surely the Most Sublime Submission to be received by The Most Beautiful Empress.

Be it endowed in the following articles the components for consideration:

I. A Most Proud, Most Majestic chap, Twenty-six years of age, with fair skin and round, tender shoulders. Hails from Cotenshire, a Most Noble Candidate from its Most Noble House of Salisbury. Enjoys majestic hunts, commandeers a Most Noble Steed, fulfills his Christian duties to the Lord, and delights salons with his performances on flute, piano, and harpsichord. Disengaged and angered by vulgarness, recklessness, and heathens, which he oft do slay in his Most Noble and Glorious Campaigns. Is Majestic and Powerful in all that he does, as only a Most Noble Prince, Second in Line for the Most High, Most Christian, Most Splendid, Most Holy, Most Potent Throne of The Kingdom of Cotenshire should. A more Noble, Pure candidate will never be found.

It is for Most Righteous, Most Noble pursuits that this declaration is now concluded on the seventh hour by the Most Serene, Most Potent King.

Signed,
I, the King



The painting in the package was a portrait of Prince Leopold (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ed/Louis_Gauffier_-_Portrait_of_Prince_Augustus_Frederick.jpg), painted by an artist of the court.

The Emperor was pleased. To Cotenshire should his daughter be wed! The wedding would take place on Friday. The Empress was to meet her prince at his palace. She would be the Queen of Cotenshire! She was to meet her suitor at the Imperial Palace the next day. "May our Kingdoms forever live in peace!" he later said in an Imperial speech.


OOC: Is the son the first born so he'll be king, or is he a later child?

Upon hearing the news in the dining hall of the royal court, the King at once started giving orders. Garith Bridlington, the Custodian of the King’s Law and Royal Decrees, was summoned. “There shall be parades and festivals in every town, village, and hamlet to commemorate this wonderful day,” ordered the King. “Set free all the prisoners. Make sure every town has enough beer. Make sure every burgrave of every town heeds these words.”

“At once, my liege.”

The King turned to rest of his court. “It is a great day for the Salisbury dynasty. You will all come with me, the Queen, Peter, and Leopold to the Isle of Laquasa where the ceremonies are to take place.” It was indeed a momentous occasion, as it was the first time a member of the Salisbury dynasty had been married to foreigners of noble birth since the rule of King Durant III “the Mad.”

The court was dismissed to make preparations for their departure. Within twelve hours the planes the royal family as well as most members of the court had taken off for Laquasa Isle.

(OOC: Technically, Leopold is second in line for the throne. The first born son of the King, Peter, will become King if William V is to die. There are two ways, however, that Leopold could become king, which are both rather likely given the stability of Cotenshire. The first is if Peter dies before the King dies, in which Leopold would become king whenever the King dies. The second way is that when William V dies, there will most likely be a quarrel over dynastic succession, and if Leopold can kill all the possible heirs in Peter’s side of the family, then he will become king.)

The Emperor met the King on his way down from his private jet at the royal airport. A feast and celebration was being prepared at the Imperial Palace of Monarchs. The Wedding would take place tommorow! Royalty from around the globe was invited in an invitation:


Monarchs of the world,
You are hereby invited to an imperial wedding between Prine Leopold of Cotenshire and Empressa Alexis at 6:00 PM at the Royal Palace of Laquasa.

Signed,
Emperor Joman of Laquasa

A portrait of her majesty: http://entimg.msn.com/i/150/ce/0304/EvaGreen_150x208.jpg. May their union prosper!

Cotenshire, check your telegrams. It is a matter of urgency.

From Kensington Palace
Whilst my wife and I would be delighted to attend your wedding, we are afraid that we can not attend. Therefore, we shall dispatch our Prime Minister to your wedding.

Sincerely,
Emperor James I

SIC:
To the Ministry for Defence
Agent 349602, having undergone reconstructive surgery to look like the Prime Minister, is to travel to the wedding site at once. Ensure that he has the proper plastic explosives hidden throughout his person, and ensure that the C4 detonator is hidden and installed in his watch.

-Emperor James I

The King emerged from his plane with great difficulty, as he had donned the most superfluous outfit he had in his wardrobe. His massive purple velvet cape dragged on the ground at least five feet behind him, and it was weighed down even more by all the gold ornamentation on the sides. Out of the kings heeled shoes shot long purple stockings that went all the way up to his blue tunic, which began slightly below the waist. He also had on a blue military jacket with enormous golden epaulets and walked with a gilded cane that was dotted with sapphires. His hands were completely covered in golden rings and bracelets. But the most outrageous of his regalia was his enormous tiara, with four golden spikes portruding at least three feet in the air and enough plumes to cover sixteen peacocks. It was a wonder that the king could even stand up in this outfit, let alone navigate down the stairs that lead out of the Royal Aeroplane.

The other members of the royal family were not decorated quite as flamboyantly, but were still dressed for the occasion. The queen, a round woman with pink cheeks, came wearing a shining blue silk dress and a silver crown. Peter was wearing a traditional military uniform and had a saber tied to his belt. But the most creative member of the family by far was Leopold, who wore a black tuxedo with a white dress shirt and a black neck tie.

“Good day,” said the King, who attempted to tip his tiara but could not lift his hand high enough due to all the jewelry that covered it. As the royal family exited the plane, two finely dressed servants came out from behind them in order to hold up the king’s cape so that it would not drag across the ground.

The SIS agent's plane landed at the airport with minimal fanfare - after all, he was merely "Prime Minister." He emerged from the plane, wearing a dark, black suit. Trailing him were two other SIS agents, his "security detail"; in reality, they were going to help him execute his attack. But no-one knew that.

It was 1600 hrs, two hours before the wedding. All the less baggage to carry.

The SIS agents ensured that they had their eyeglasses donned, nylon cloths in their pockets, LCD screens installed in their communications devices, etc. However, the plastic in these objects had been replaced with a more sinister plastic.

During the wedding, the plastic in these materials would mysteriously vanish.

Most importantly, the "PM" had his watch on.

OOC:What a sore loser.

IC:
After the recent attack on our ally Galation, we hereby forbid your scum of a 'PM' to attend an Imperial Occasion.

--Emporer Joman I of Laquasa

Police were suddenly ordered to seize the Prime Minister immediately, in hopes of killing British Londinium's leader, but when he was searched the deadly weapon was found. Furious, the Emperor ordered for him to hung with piano wire, so he will die slowly. It will be broadcast.

OOC:What a sore loser.

IC:
After the recent attack on our ally Galation, we hereby forbid your scum of a 'PM' to attend an Imperial Occasion.

--Emporer Joman I of Laquasa

Police were suddenly ordered to seize the Prime Minister immediately, in hopes of killing British Londinium's leader, but when he was searched the deadly weapon was found. Furious, the Emperor ordered for him to hung with piano wire, so he will die slowly. It will be broadcast.

OOC: A few things. 1. The PM isn't head of government. 2. There was no "weapon" just plastique, which is harmless as long as an electrical charge is ran through it.

OOC: We can tell if something's explosive. And I don't really care. Now get all pissed.

IC:

All ambassadors from British Londinium were being hanged. It would take a very long time for them to die with the slowly strangling piano wire, and all of it was being watched by the civillians of Laquasa. And alll the time thoasands of British Londinium flags burned in the background.

Miana, Whyatica
0100 Hours, Blue Zone
"Gentlemen, time to put your best performance faces on." Major Jeffrey Sinclair said calmly, to a room of about 55 special ops men.

"High Command has ordered that we go to some tiny-ass little nation in the middle of nowhere and do some damage during some big wedding ceremony. They gave me lots of leeway on how I want to do this, and it's reported that one assassination attempt has already been foiled. So here's what we're going to do, men. We're going to disguise ourselves as a large orchestra, the 'Mianan String Orchestra', enter the ceremony, and the instruments will have disguised weapons in them. Any questions?"

"Yes. This is, all due respect, sir, a fucking stupid plan." an agent said, calmly.

"It's a damn good thing that you said, 'with all due respect', or else I would've blown your head off." Major Sinclair said.

The agent remained silent, making sure that he kept his body parts intact.

"Now, then, who here can actually play an instrument?"

The plotting and scheming continued well into the night, with fisticuffs nearly breaking out over who gets to be the first violinist, and one fatality when Major Sinclair drew his gun, and shot up to attempt to regain control of the group. Sadly, the bullet ricocheted off the wall and rebounded into his skull. Now that got the agent's attention. Moving on..

Laquasa Isle
1600 hours, Laquasa Isle International Airport
A large passenger airplane with Whyatican Airlines markings on it descended from the skies, hitting the runway of the Laquasa Isle airport with a little turbulene, but that was nothing the agents weren't used to. After all, most of them had jumped out of planes to get to their destination, so staying inside one was a nice change.

The plane landed, and the leader of the agent group got up and said, "Men, Laquasa customs should be here soon. I'll do the talking, you stay in here and get the cargo ready."

The agents nodded, and the Leader went outside the plane, waiting for an official..

OOC: We can tell if something's explosive. And I don't really care. Now get all pissed.

IC:

All ambassadors from British Londinium were being hanged. It would take a very long time for them to die with the slowly strangling piano wire, and all of it was being watched by the civillians of Laquasa. And alll the time thoasands of British Londinium flags burned in the background.

From Kensington Palace
The government of British Londinium condemns your actions, and orders that Laquasa Isle cease and desist murdering our ambassadors at once.

-His Britannic Majesty, Emperor James I
-Her Britannic Majesty, Empress Hemali I

OOC ok from a wedding to hungings
looks like someone going to get there ass kicked

OOC: It appears there aren't any more. If there are we'll kill the all! Bwahaha!

Why does everyone want to kill my guys? What's wrong with my guys?

IC:

Customs checked the planes. When they looked into the instruments however, they were rather shocked. With half a second the 10 officers had their handguns cocked and ready to fire. What a dumbass thing to do, Agent Larls thought. Bringing terrorist devices on an airplane. Yeah right. And after a previous assasination failed. The Emperor demanded they all recieve the chair, which emitted short bursts of 7,000 watts and took an hour to kill.

After hearing about the failed special operations mission, the new Major wasn't at all surprised, but he sent a message back to the Laquasa-ans, yawning and spilling coffee over himself.

COMMUNICATION TO LAQUASA ISLE
Executing the musicians was not a nice thing to do. Unless there are serious reparations coming from your nation, something along the lines of, oh, four trillion dollars, or else the Imperial military will have it's way with your tiny little nation. The Fourth Tactical Force has been placed on alert, and if you do not respond adequately, your nation will be anally raped. Killing Whyatican civilians for the sake that they are Whyatican civilians is not a good way to begin your career in the international arena.

Imperial Democracy of Whyatica

Terrorism? You expect us to reimburse you for terrorism? No. It is an Imperial offense.

OFFICIAL COMMUNICATION TO LAQUASA ISLE
So war it is, then. Prepare to lose your anal virginity, foolish island nation.

Major Jack Daniels sighed. Utterly predictable, these little nations. They don't know when to quit running their mouth and bite the bullet.

He spun his spinny chair around, giving himself an extra boost so he spun around a few times. Whee! Once he stopped spinning, and his vision righted itself, he went onto his computer console and typed out some orders to the Junior Admiral in charge of the 4th Tactical Force, which was on a patrol in the middle of the ocean somewhere far from Whyatican shores. Because that's the way Whyaticans roll, they patrol a really long way away just because they can. The orders were transmitted to the Junior Admiral through a cool looking satellite system, which had enough encryption to make your eyes fall out a few times and explode.

Go blow up the nation at these coordinates. They're poor, weak, etc, and they killed an entire string orchestra because they had viola players. Destroy them, and come back for some cake.

Major Jack Daniels

4th Tactical Force, Somewhere in the Ocean
Jr. Admiral Jose Cuervo was asleep on the bridge, his subordinates being careful not to wake him because he got cranky when he was awoken. From his console, however, a mad beeping that indicated he had a new message erupted, waking him from his slumber. He roused, groggily, and slammed the side of his chair, hurting his hand.

"Damnit, damnit, damnit." he mumbled, keying in his authorization code and reading the mesage.

"Navigation! Nav, set in a course for.." he peered at the screen, "the Laquasa Island. Send general orders to the fleet to move to yellow alert and get us combat ready. We'll be scaring some nation there, and maybe doing a little bombing."

From Kensington Palace
Kensington, District of Londinium
The Britannic Empire of British Londinium condemns the brutal execution of both our prime minister and the musicians of Whyatica. His and Her Majesty's Government orders that Laquasa Isle surrender forthwith, or suffer the consequences.

SIC:
Orders from the Ministry for Defence
Five Trafalgar-class submarines (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Trafalgar-class_submarine) are to surround the Isle of Laquasa. Said submarines are to remain on full alert. The use of nuclear weapons has been authorised. The use of chemical and biological weapons has been authorised.

All missiles are to assume Condition 1SQ and prepare for launch immediately.

(OOC: Of course, I knew this thread would come to some violent war, as all II threads invariably do, because it is only natural for countries to risk national and international stability in order to attempt an easily thwarted assassination at someone's wedding and escalate it to throw their nation into a devastating nuclear holocaust. But I digress.)

"So I suppose we are family now," said the King to the Emperor.

(OOC: Speaking from what I have seen in II so far, British Londinium, you should probably reconsider your attack. Most nations do not think having one's assassin executed is a valid casus bellum, especially if nuking is the retaliation. Laquasa Isle could easily form a large coalition against you if the you deploy your nukes.)

Edit: took out the conflicting part about the King knowing what was going on.

Hey, your dead british londinium. I nuked you to death in another thread.

OOC: The king doesn't know of this..

(OOC: Alright, but know that the King will be furious once he finds out that the entire population of Laquasa found out about this before he did, especially since it was at an event where his security is concerned. I'll edit the above post.)

Official Clandonian Corporation Communication

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/madnukedude/ClandonianCorporationLogo.png

If the Empress survives after our nuclear attack on you then we would like to use her in our breading programes of the project XY programe. If she volunters the insemination is usually less painfall.

OOC: my subs aren't going to retaliate with nukes...they are supposed to be a deterrent.

(OOC: Alright, but know that the King will be furious once he finds out that the entire population of Laquasa found out about this before he did, especially since it was at an event where his security is concerned. I'll edit the above post.)

"King, I have grave news. I had to wait to tell you for your own safety- there have been numerous failed attacks to assinate everyone at the wedding. The Emperor is yet to heear it himself."-- Secratary of Imperial Affairs, Lisa Du.

OOC: Insemination? What a sicko. I suppose you want the twelve year old too, if you had the chance? Too bad we weren't destroyed.

Press Release from the Ministry for Defence
Noting the illiteracy in Laquasa Isle, three B-52 bombers flew over Laquasa Isle dropping English textbooks.

"King, I have grave news. I had to wait to tell you for your own safety- there have been numerous failed attacks to assinate everyone at the wedding. The Emperor is yet to heear it himself."-- Secratary of Imperial Affairs, Lisa Du.

OOC: Insemination? What a sicko. I suppose you want the twelve year old too, if you had the chance? Too bad we weren't destroyed.

OOC: Check the Galation topic, yes sick the Corporation is. If we were moral it would be bad for business.

You'd inpregnate a 12 year old? Let me guess- the 12 year old boys help, too? I bet you would probe your own sister.

You'd inpregnate a 12 year old? Let me guess- the 12 year old boys help, too? I bet you would probe your own sister.

OOC: right...it's called role-play...

I know that. I'm not stupid. I was talkin' to his leader.