NationStates Jolt Archive

SIC:
At the Tyraningrad
"And thus, deploying nukes against Hataria would not only benefit the world, it'll also spark a growth in sales of beaver hide toothbrushes." A random Legislator was speaking at the Tyraningrad, Jaredcohenia's own Parliament!

Man...my arm hurts... Premier Cohen was thinking. Why does my arm hurt...I don't understand this...

"All for the thermonuking of Hataria?"

"Aye!"

"All opposed?" There was not a nay in the entire Tyraningrad, only a thunk. "A janitor must've fallen. We just need to get permission from the Premier. Premier...Premier? Are you asleep?" Aaron Cohen was slumped over his podium, unconscious. "Premier?! Call 988! Call 988!"

IC:

Jaredcohenia News Network
Because leaving stuff out is what we do best.

"This is Pyotr Technit, sadly reporting from Coheningrad University. Our beloved Premier, Aaron Cohen, has suffered a major heart attack. We believe this to have happened sometime between 12PM and 1:30PM, GMT+5. Doctors have revealed that the Premier is in critical condition, undergoing heart surgery at the moment. We will bring you more as we know it. From Coheningrad University, this is Pyotr Technit. JNN."

SIC:

Ivan Cohen stood in the observation deck of Coheningrad University Medical Center Trauma Room 7. His own brother's chest was filled with the hands of the greatest medical minds in all of Jaredcohenia, and a few students'. "How could this have happened..." Aaron was a fit man, a soldier several decades back, and he usually watched what he eat. Who doesn't enjoy a cheeseburger now and then?

"Doctor, we're losing him..."

"Crank it up to 150...clear!" Zap. Flatline.

"Doctor..."

"200! Clear!" Zap. Flatline.

"Doctor! Give up! He isn't going to make it!"

"300! Clear!" Zap. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. "Get thie Premier ready for quadruple bypass surgery. As long as he's here, the Premier isn't going to die. If he does die, then someone here will be his heart donor. Do I have myself clear, students?"

"Yes, Doctor..."

TAG for interest.

The High Commander was sitting in his office several hundred stories up in the Eastern Reich Tower, when on his large plasma television he heard the reports. He looked up from his papers on the mass-nuking of Hataria when the news of a heart attack was given. He was stunned, the message he sent was this:

Oh shi-

SIC:

Emperor Jovan Norris was in his downtown residence in Super City relaxing, finally having a few seconds off from his busy schedule. As he watch the news, the report on Midtown Super City reconstruction was interrupted by a breaking news report from Jaredcohenia.

"Premier Aaron Cohen has reportedly suffered a major heart attack and has undergone quadruple bypass surgery. More as it comes in. We now bring you back to Rebuilding Super City: The Day Hell Spawned.

SIC:

Emperor Jovan Norris was in his downtown residence in Super City relaxing, finally having a few seconds off from his busy schedule. As he watch the news, the report on Midtown Super City reconstruction was interrupted by a breaking news report from Jaredcohenia.

"Premier Aaron Cohen has reportedly suffered a major heart attack and has undergone quadruple bypass surgery. More as it comes in. We now bring you back to Rebuilding Super City: The Day Hell Spawned.

OOC: the bypass thing was in SIC. :S

will post IC later

OOC: the bypass thing was in SIC. :S

will post IC laterOOC: Oops... I didn't notice. Uhhhh, it leaked out to the press? lol. :headbang:

SIC:

Cohen lay on his bed, his heart beating slowly, his almost lifeless body attached to life support. His daughter, Lauren, stood over him, crying. Aaron's eldest son, Mikhail, was nowhere in the room.

IC:

Jaredcohenia News Network
Because leaving stuff out is what we do best.

"Reporting outside of the Tyraningrad, this is Pyotr Technit with breaking news. After a session of the Tyraningrad, Mikhail Cohen has been declared Temporary Premier of Jaredcohenia. As cameras are not allowed inside the Tyraningrad, we can not show you the actual process. Until the Premier is healthy and able to rule, Mikhail Cohen shall be the new Premier.

An update on the Premier. Sources indicate that the Premier is in stable condition after heart bypass surgery. More as we get it, for JNN this is Pyotr Technit."

SIC:

And to think, just yesterday I was in a hospital... Mikhail was 29 years old, a doctor at a hospital in Uransk. When he heard news of his father's plight, he flew across the entire nation to Coheningrad. A hard trip to book, basically across the continent, one way, non stop.

"Premier? You're needed outside to make a speech." Mikhail ignored what the person was saying. "Premier?"

"Oh, that's me. Hmm?"

"You need to give a speech to the public." Mikhail was wearing normal clothes, something his father would never be seen giving an official speech."

IC:

Jaredcohenia News Network
Because leaving stuff out is what we do best.

"This is Pyotr Technit, still in front of the Tyraningrad. We have breaking news, the new Premier, Mikhail Cohen, is about to make his speech indicating that he is the new leader. Or something like that.

"People of Jaredcohenia!" Mikhail screamed. "As you may be aware, my father, the beloved Premier, is unable to fulfill his duties...therefore, I was alerted a few hours ago that I was required. I'll be honest, I have no idea how to do this. I'm a doctor, not a general or a leader. I will try my best, Jaredcohenians. I will do whatever I can. Workers of the World, Unite!"

*bump, set, spike*

da beez!

SIC:

"But...Mikhail..." Vladimir Clay was begging the child he used to babysit. "The Hatarian destruction plan would be most beneficial.

"It's Premier Cohen, damnit!" Mikhail Cohen screamed at Clay. "Who made you Premier? Hmm?"

"But Parliament voted for it, Premier."

"But I didn't. Get the fuck out of my country. Take all the other ministers with you. I can run Jaredcohenia without your help."

"Sir...you'ren't serious, right?"

"Did I fucking stutter? Get out, now!"

"I'll be back. Mark my words. And when your father is well..."

"Guards! Get this man out of here!" Two large, burly officers came out of the shadows.

"Who the fuck are you? I've never seen you before!"

"Take him away!"

"You'll regret the day" the large guards started to pull him out "you ever fucked with Vladi-" He was out. All ministers in Aaron Cohen's government were to be exiled out of Jaredcohenia.

"Jaredcohenia will be a land of equality. There will be no leaders other than the people." Cohen said to himself.

Meanwhile, the real Premier lie in a bed. His heart failed several times, being resusitated several times. He was to be on life support always, the Premier was unaware of the turmoil going on in his nation while he slept.

bumpy

bumpy

any national commentary?

Jenrak invites the exiled ministers to the outer city of Nakros Argun for an offer by the Azhujurius.