NationStates Jolt Archive

Official Message from the Department of Nuclear Defense of the Caliphate of Icovir
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e0/Nagasakibomb.jpg/250px-Nagasakibomb.jpg
Greetings, nations of the world!

We come to you with news of yet another Icovirian Hydrogen Bomb Test.

But, our last test took place on the then-occupied-by-Galations Abandoned Isle of Icovir.

This time, we will test our ability to launch the Hydrogen Bomb to far distances.

It will be launched from The Military Isle of Icovir (not on the map, but near the Royal Isle) to theyet-to-be-conquered-by-IcovirIndependent Republic of South Africa (on my map).

This will test our ability to launch Nuclear Weapons, through technological means (using launch stations), to far away places.

The test will be using one of the Icovirian-made Hydrogen Bombs. Therefore, since those Hydrogen Bombs are already built, the test is scheduled for tomorrow (IC).

The test's codename will be the Smiling Muhammad

Sincerely
General Josh Natock

Communique to Icovir

Congratulations are in order for your continued success in the development of a nuclear arsenal. Obviously these weapons are not to be used lightly, and never in a first strike situation, but we do feel that possessing nuclear arms is important for a deterrent measure.

We would like to enquire whether the Independent Republic of South Africa is populated, as civilian deaths are obviously not acceptable to any sane nation. Also, that area is Icoviran territory we presume?

Congratulations again and good luck with the test,
-UNNS Leadership, currently managing Naashan affairs.

OOC: South Africa is a territory of mine... :eek:

Nukes are so last year.
-Lord Governor Gurashoy

Nukes are so last year.
-Lord Governor Gurashoy

.......

The Caliph says this: "Sleep with one eye open".

OOC: South Africa is a territory of mine... :eek:

OOC: Uh-oh. I don't have a complete map of African territories...

Well, it's too late :D

OOC: LOL. Well it'll make for an interesting story anyhow.

IC:

"Emperor!" Tatenda, the Emperor's most senior of aids said.

"What is it Tatenda?"

"Icovir has just announced they'll be test-firing a nuclear missile at South Africa tomorrow morning..."

"What in the hell? Do they have any idea they're firing at a densely populated area, never mind our own?"

"I don't believe so."

"Well get on it, Tatenda."

"Yes sir."

-------------------------------------------------
TO: The Icovirian Government
FROM: Senior Aide to Emperor Jovan Norris, Maraque

Greetings,

It has come to our attention to your government is preparing to stage a test-firing of a nuclear missile on the Republic of South Africa.

We'd just like to remind you that South Africa... is a densely populated country in the ownership of us - also your ally - the Democratic Constitutional Monarchy of the Secular Empire of Maraque.

What do you say about that? Are you going to proceed with this test-firing of the nuclear warhead on land that is populated, and administered by one of your allies?

Minister of Cartography Yusuf Islam (OOC: yes, I KNOW that's the name of a real person) ran up to the Caliph and yelled 8 words.

"SOUTH AFRICA IS OWNED BY A SOVEREIGN NATION!"

"WHAT!?" was the Caliph's response.

"Call off the test before we start a war!" the Minister yelled. "Maraque owns it!".

The Caliph picked up the "red hotline" phone and screamed into it. "Call off the test, call off the TEST!".

General Josh Natock was on the other line. "It's too late sir!" he yelled back. "The hydrogen bomb has already been launched!".

Der Fuhrer's generals rush into his Reichstagg office, absolutely beaming. "Ein Fuhrer, ve have gutt news. Ze Icovirians are firing nuclear missiles against Maraque...zeir former ally. Der Fuhrer is slightly confused. "Vhy vould zat be gutt news, comraden?" His generals respond, "If you help zem eliminate zeir apparent enemy, ze Icovirians vill be most pleased." Der Fuhrer, "Get on eet!"

A few moments later, hundreds of conventional warheads (non nuclear, non non chemical, non biological) are fired upon long range rockets from near berlin towards the Maraquean capital.

Der Fuhrer celebrates in his office with his fellow generals, sipping champagne. "Mein Heers, zis ist ein gutt day for Deutschland!"

Alarms all across South Africa went off, as hundreds of thousands ran through the streets, knowing very well what the alarm meant. Many were about to undoubtedly die.

The bomb struck, causing destruction throughout. The preliminary estimations of the dead were in the 300,000 to 500,000 range, with millions more injured.

But due to the fast-acting response to the bomb, many had lived; although there was barely anything left of the strike zone, the majority in the area had made it out alive and uninjured.

Der Fuhrer's generals rush into his Reichstagg office, absolutely beaming. "Ein Fuhrer, ve have gutt news. Ze Icovirians are firing nuclear missiles against Maraque...zeir former ally. Der Fuhrer is slightly confused. "Vhy vould zat be gutt news, comraden?" His generals respond, "If you help zem eliminate zeir apparent enemy, ze Icovirians vill be most pleased." Der Fuhrer, "Get on eet!"

A few moments later, hundreds of conventional warheads (non nuclear, non non chemical, non biological) are fired upon long range rockets from near berlin towards the Maraquean capital.

Der Fuhrer celebrates in his office with his fellow generals, sipping champagne. "Mein Heers, zis ist ein gutt day for Deutschland!"OOC: NOOO! AHHH! Damn you.

Well, I'll RP the damage in a moment. Damn you!!!

Der Fuhrer's generals rush into his Reichstagg office, absolutely beaming. "Ein Fuhrer, ve have gutt news. Ze Icovirians are firing nuclear missiles against Maraque...zeir former ally. Der Fuhrer is slightly confused. "Vhy vould zat be gutt news, comraden?" His generals respond, "If you help zem eliminate zeir apparent enemy, ze Icovirians vill be most pleased." Der Fuhrer, "Get on eet!"

A few moments later, hundreds of conventional warheads (non nuclear, non non chemical, non biological) are fired upon long range rockets from near berlin towards the Maraquean capital.

Der Fuhrer celebrates in his office with his fellow generals, sipping champagne. "Mein Heers, zis ist ein gutt day for Deutschland!"

The "Red Hotline" rang.

"Sir" said Josh Natock. "It struck".

"SHI'ITE!" yelled the Caliph. "What was the death toll?"

Natock: "We don't know, but it must've been tens, if not hundreds, of thousands.".

Caliph: ".... Got anymore bad news?"

Natock: "Yes. It seems that the Fourth Holy Reich has launched some weapons to Maraque.".

Caliph: "WHY!? WHY!?! WHY!?" screamed the Caliph in anger.

Natock: "They are apparently enemies. It seems like the Fourth Holy Reich thinks we are declaring war on Maraque, so they are 'assisting' us. What do you suggest we do?".

It was quiet for two full minutes. Then the Caliph spoke.

Caliph: "It looks like we'll have to start a war after all.". He hung up.

"SHI'ITE!" yelled the Caliph. "What was the death toll?"

OOC: LOL!

[ Fwhahahaha!

Wait, why am I laughing at this, of all things?

Oh well. I blame it on a long day.

...ha! ]

OOC: Ico, after they rp the damage, lemme post first.

To: The Caliph of Icovir

Should she need it, we will aid Icovir in literally pwning this n00blet off the face of the earth. My fire the nuclear holocaust button pushing finger is itchy.

~Premier Aaron Cohen

"EMPEROR!!! EMPEROR! INCOMING MISSILES!"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

"No Emperor! We must leave this instant!"

"Alright, alright! SOUND THE ALARM, GET PEOPLE EVACUATED!!!"

"Yes sir."

The alarm in Super City, the Maraquean capital, sounded off with a long shrewd gallow of ear-popping noises. People who were once calm, raced towards the designated shelters, people in their vehicles slammed on the brakes and ran from their vehicles, grabbing their children in car seats, helping their elderly mothers, fathers, and siblings to safety before the missile strike.

The Emperor was ousted to an unidentified location somewhere out of Super City in a secret underground tunnel that was unknown to anyone else but fewer than 10 people.

Then the worst happened; missiles came showering down upon the enormous city of skyscrapers no shorter than 2,800 ft tall. This proved to be disasterous for many of the people on the top floors. The missiles slammed into the great structures one by one, exploding into a shower of smoke and flame. Hell had spawned in the center of Super City.

24 buildings collapsed, 13,991 had died. 197,817 had been injured.

OOC: Ico, after they rp the damage, lemme post first.

OOC: Ok. But I'm going to make a new topic on this.

This is clearly going to be a full out war.

Der Fuhrer would give Icovir a call after he recieved word from the damage in Maraque. He would be grinning ear to ear as he would say to Icovir via telephone. "I dun't know vat zose fookers did to piss you off like zat, but we got zem gutt, no?"

OOC: Congratulations, this thread has made me smile. I think the message we should all take away from it is that a little communication, and a little research goes a long way...

WAR DECLARED ON THE FOURTH HOLY REICH

The Democratic Constitutional Monarchy of the Secular Empire of Maraque hereby declares the Fourth Holy Reich a sworn enemy of the Empire, and all that is liberty.

Furthermore, the Emperor in his undisclosed location, has officially declared war against the swine that is the Fourth Holy Reich.

WAR DECLARED ON THE FOURTH HOLY REICH

The Democratic Constitutional Monarchy of the Secular Empire of Maraque hereby declares the Fourth Holy Reich a sworn enemy of the Empire, and all that is liberty.

Furthermore, the Emperor in his undisclosed location, has officially declared war against the swine that is the Fourth Holy Reich.



http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=507117

OOC: Congratulations, this thread has made me smile. I think the message we should all take away from it is that a little communication, and a little research goes a long way...

OOC: Lol, it's so true. But, I thought South Africa was unoccupied. I was going to test a nuke, and later try to conquer it.