NationStates Jolt Archive

Edward Beech stared gloomily out at nothing in particular. The bleak, overcast sky showed little sign of anything, really. Just endless banks of gray clouds. Well, this is London, he thought. Slowly, an incessant noise in the distance roused his attention. Louder and louder it became, proceeded now by the voices-- no, screams of what sounded like a whole crowed of people. Edward sat up in his worn wooden chair, watching for what it could be. All of a sudden a young boy, not more than seven or eight years of age, scrambled past, yelling at the top of his undeveloped lungs. And then, it was there.

Two massive metal legs crashed into the cobblestone street in front of Edward’s house, and then another two, and another two. The roar was now deafening, drowned out only by the maniacal laughter and shouts of, “Woot! I M t3h r0xx0r! Ph34r my 1337n3ss!!!!111!” echoing from the control cabin. Leaping to his feet, Edward ran out to the edge of the sidewalk as fast as he could. The giant machine had just plowed through his neighbor’s home and was rampaging down the causeway, kicking at careening carriages and smashing houses like kindling. Debris fountained up in all directions, hurled like so much paper by the mighty strides of the infernal contraption. “Well, don’t that beat all…” sighed Edward as he scratched his bald head.

* * *

Onboard the Spidur, Technoczar Vladistalk II was having a blast. “You,” he gleefully pointed to a Footman, “pull some levers! Pull some levers! And twist those knobs! Hahaha!” Cackling crazily, he yanked hard on the two metallic spokes in front of him, driving the artificial arachnid forward. “Smash, smash, smash!” he chanted. Leaning against a brass wall in the back of the small cabin, his personal Psi Witch assistant sighed, her slim shoulders rustling her low-cut black dress. These kind of joy rides were good stress relievers for the Technoczar, but the whole opening-a-dimensional-portal-to-another-realm-of-space-and-time thing took a lot of effort to set up, let alone trying to get the massive Spidur through that tiny gate…

Oh well, she thought as a chunk of wood zinged past her head, at least he’s having fun.

OOC: This is totally open. Whether you’re an FT nation that heard about the rampage, a guy living in the city, or some other nation around in the 19th century, come on in. Just try and be, I dunno, whimsical. It’s not a serious RP, if you couldn’t tell. Oh, and if you feel the need to tell me I made any anachronisms, well, go get a life ;p

OOC: Do I detect a hint of invader Zim?

I detect a hint of "Wild Wild West"

Could you tell? I own the first and watched the second.

IC: Whole swatches of buildings disintegrated in the withering hail of high-velocity rounds spit from the maws of the Spidurz’ gattlers. For sheer random destruction, it was hard to beat a 6 story mechanical bug. Glancing towards the horizon, Vladistalk beheld a beautiful site. “Say,” he said slowly, “how about we pay a visit to the Crystal Palace?”

OOC: May I play the British? =p

IC:

Horse Guards

Colonel Sir Edward Penningsworth was enjoying a cup of tea and reading over the latest edition of the newspaper, having just finished polishing his monocle and was quite enjoying himself when his aide, Leftenant Jack Whitechapel sauntered in with a slightly amused expression on his face.

"Sir, I think you may want to take a look at this report. It's rather interesting."

Penningsworth grunted and held out his hand then read the sheet of paper thrust into his hand. He looked up at Whitechapel.

"You can't be serious, old boy."

"I'm afraid I am sir. Seems there's a giant mechanical spider roaming about the city and amking a mess of things. Constabulary quite helpless and all that rot, dontcha know. Seems they want us to intervene."

Penningsworth shook his head, "Look, is this your idea of a joke? Becuase it's not that funny leftenant. Now I-"

He was cut off as there was a resounding crash. Outside the window the giant spider was striding past, the two guards in the boxes looking on rather helplessly as it rampaged over a row of flats.

"Oh drat."

Be my guest. If anyone else wants to play like, British civvies or just another unit of soldiers, that should work out fine too.

IC: Wiping his cold, iron brow on the cuff of his overalls, the chief engineer sat down on a structural support deep in the belly of the Spidur. He was exhausted, having been cooped up in the small, cramped room since they went through the portal. Wiping his forehead again, the engineer got up and paced over to the wall, unscrewing a hatch of boilerplate to get to some fresh air. He never found it. As the armored window swung open, the choking fumes of London rushed inside, making all onboard gag a little. As the Footman wheezed and tried to find a clear patch of air to breathe, a shot rang out.

After a moment, the engineer realized that there was a hole in his face. Slightly interested, he placed his finger inside his skull, all the way up to the knuckle. It came out covered in oil, and boiling water began to gush onto the floor. “Mate, get my gun,” he said, jamming a bolt into the wound. An assistant ran up holding onto a massive flarelock rifle, struggling to bring the lengthy barrel under control. Grinning slightly and still holding the bolt in place, the Clokwerk leaned out the window and scanned for his target. Some distance back a man in a dirty coat was reloading what appeared to be a rather tiny gun.

“Easiest shot of my life,” mumbled the engineer, pulling the trigger. In a blast of black powder and superfluous flame, a .95 shell rocketed from the ungainly barrel, accelerating into the fleeing form of the unlucky Londonite. Him, his yard, and most of his house disappeared in a blaze of psionic force triggered by the massive bullet.

OOC:
Did you get this idea from the criak toon known as "beast enders"? :confused:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/beast+enders/

Penningsworth dashed outside, adjusting his coat a he did. He yelled at his staff officers, "Get the regiment called out! Get artillery! We've got to stop the damn thing!"

A drum began beating the long roll as the parade ground became alive with red-caoted figures, many fiddling with their equipment and slipping bits of their uniforms on. Within five minutes the entire regiment was assembled and waiting, the soldiers standing at attention as Penningsworth was briefing his staff.

"There's a giant mechanical spider marauding about London and they want us to bloody well stop it. And that's what we're going to do. Now, get me some damn artillery!"

He whirled on Whitechapel, "Whitechapel take a platoon and go on a reccy mission! Find out where it's going, what its trying to do!"

"Yes sah!"

A few moments later a platoon of men double-timed out into the streets of London, preparing for the unexpected.

There are some things in the world that are good. There are some things in the world that are bad. And there are some things in the world that are just plain weird.

This is one of the weird moments.

The Imperial Republic of Coredia's high-tech satellite system spotted a six-story-tall metallic robotic spider rampaging in downtown London. The weird thing wasn't the robotic spider -Coredia has its share of weirdness every day-, it was the fact that it was rampaging a London out of Doctor Who or Charles Dickens. IE, 19th Century London. And let's not get into how a satellite managed to get over that period of time, it'll only create headaches.

Even weirder is when the President-King Sarinon of Coredia proper decided to send in a trio of heroes to deal with the interloper, he decided to send kids.

Kids with powers that mortal men wish they could have, but still kids. Hey, it's good training for them!

So he decided, without further ado, to send a team of three kids to get rid of the monster. Known to many as Team Eight, it's a Jedi-Ninja-Alchemist sort of trio, a tried and true team.

Uchiha Reika is the Shinobi heir to her namesake clan. With the ability to spit fire and the ability to copy many an attack, she's definitely her father's daughter.

Umino Haruka is an alchemist. But not just any alchemist. He has the training, from Jacob Masaki himself, to simply clap his hands and touch an object, turning it into something else. If he needs to use a more complex transmutations, however, there's always the markers he keeps in his pockets.

Masaki Keith is the Jedi of the group. He is also a summoner, but he still has much to learn about using that skill.

So, the three young heroes set off to deal with the evil rampaging robot spider by hopping into the Wormhole produced by the Network...

and being dumped unceremionously onto a stone-flecked back alley of London.

"Ow! Somebody's going to need to fix the landing..." Keith muttered.

"Please get off my arm. I need it!" Reika hissed.

"Oh, sorry!" Haruka said and quickly got off and dusted himself off. "Now...let's see what we can do today..."

The trio peeked out of the alleyway, looking for danger...

“Technoczar,” spoke a Footman from behind his respective console, “our instruments have picked up a noticeable fluctuation of awesome somewhere in the vicinity.” There was no response from Vladistalk, as he was too busy walking on the bystanders fleeing from the center of the Crystal Palace. Frowning, the Footman turned to the Psi Witch.

“What does that mean?” she asked him. The technician responsed immediately.

“The readings are consistant with that found upon the appearance of either a ninja or Godzilla. However, we would probably see a titanic nuclear lizard, so it’s likely the former.”

“I see,” she nodded. “Well then, dispatch a hunter killer team immedia-“ The witch was cut off as several large shells impacted the rear plating of the Spidur.

“We are under attack!” cooed Vladistalk, a mad grin plastered on his purple face.

“Dispatch the team and find out what hit us!” shouted the witch over the din of rifle fire.

* * *

At the back of the monster robot a hatch fell open, and from it dropped the only known countermeasure to the fearsome ninja- the Cyborg Zombie Pyrate.

Constable Arthur Worthington was walking his usual beat in Lodon, twirlign his truncheon and smiling cheerily at anyone who happened to walk by, when a rending crash split the air and large mechanical foot landed quite nearby. Looking up, he gave the giant, mechanical spider the once over, then walked up and tapped authoritively on the foot of the spider with his truncheon, uttering the words that every Constable was required to know.

"Here now! What's all this, then?" He gave the cockpit of the contraption a baleful stare, as if to suggest that if he did not give a satisfactory answer, things would not go well for whoever piloted the thing.

Iron cannon balls the size of watermelons burst from the twin guns under the chin of the machine. Splinters of wood and nails clattered against the riveted hull as the rounds found their target, clearing an entire city block of buildings. Because of the noise, the gentle tapping of the constable went unnoticed, so the Spidur clattered on, shaking bits of glass and delicate framework off of its frame. If anyone had been glancing down at the ground at that moment, they would have seen a massive leg smash into the ground where the officer of the law had been standing, narrowly avoiding him.

As yet more destruction flared from the gattlers and cannon, the Spidur strode deeper into London. “Witch,” said Vladistalk after a period of long silence, “what time is it?” Glancing down at the miniaturized grandfather clock on her wrist, the Psi Witch sighed.

“It’s almost a quarter past fourteen, Lord.” Cursing under his breathe, the Technoczar released the controls, swaying as locomotion ceased.

“Hm. I had plans to scourge a few worlds later this afternoon, but with so little time left, I guess I shant.”

“You could always just scourge this dimension,” suggested the witch helpfully.

Worthington brushed some dust off hsi uniform and glared once more athe machine. They weren't even acknowledging him! He tucked his truncheon in his belt and began clambering up the leg. Now he would see what was going on here....

A knock sounded at the side door of the control cabin. Vladistalk’s eyes went wide and seemed to fade out. In a slow, crawling accent, he spoke. “Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, while I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.” The witch looked at him, immediately recognizing the opening stanza of Poe’s The Raven, shrugged, and went to answer the door.

A rather disheveled looking Constable Worthington stood on the outside deck, truncheon held at a jaunty angle in one hand and baleful look in his eye.

"What's all this then? Terrorizing London, eh?"

"Why, um, yes," said the witch, pulling her dress in a feeble attempt at modesty. "Do you have a problem with that?" The Spidur was moving again, but slowly, as half of the Technoczar's attention was focused on the constable.

the constable pulls out his ticket book and flips it open, pulling a pencil stub from his pocket. "I am afraid I will ave to write you a ticket for disturbing the peace, madam. Also for trespassing and destruction of private and public property. Do you have license to operate this contraption within city limits?" Before the withc could anwer he continued speaking and scribbling in his book. "I thought not! Also, are you aware that terrorizing London is an offense punishable by a 5,000 pound fine and up to 30 years imprisonment?"

“Technoczar,” spoke a Footman from behind his respective console, “our instruments have picked up a noticeable fluctuation of awesome somewhere in the vicinity.” There was no response from Vladistalk, as he was too busy walking on the bystanders fleeing from the center of the Crystal Palace. Frowning, the Footman turned to the Psi Witch.

“What does that mean?” she asked him. The technician responsed immediately.

“The readings are consistant with that found upon the appearance of either a ninja or Godzilla. However, we would probably see a titanic nuclear lizard, so it’s likely the former.”

“I see,” she nodded. “Well then, dispatch a hunter killer team immedia-“ The witch was cut off as several large shells impacted the rear plating of the Spidur.

“We are under attack!” cooed Vladistalk, a mad grin plastered on his purple face.

“Dispatch the team and find out what hit us!” shouted the witch over the din of rifle fire.

* * *

At the back of the monster robot a hatch fell open, and from it dropped the only known countermeasure to the fearsome ninja- the Cyborg Zombie Pyrate.
"Hey. Looks like we found the giant spider thingy." Keith said, hopping up to a high roof with his friends.

"Not hard to find with all the trails of destruction." Haruka mused.

From nowhere, Reika pulled out a little monocular. "Hey, looks like its slowed down and...hahahaha!"

"What? What?" Keith grabbed the monocular and saw the constable berating what appears to be the driver. "Oh man, that's rich!"

"Lemme see!" Haruka snatched the monocular and he too laughed. Then he stopped laughing. "Uh, guys...we got a problem."

"What is it?" Keith asked.

"CYBORG ZOMBIE NINJA!" He yelled, screaming and running like crazy.

The other two sweatdropped and Keith summoned a small turtle to spit water at Haruka. Haruka stopped and pulled out a towel. "Thanks."

"I believe that's a cyborg zombie pirate." Reika said, looking down again. Then she smirked and her eyes blinked once, turning an odd red color. "Either way this is going to be interesting."

"We'll take the spider then." Keith grinned. "C'mon Haruka!"

"Right. And you didn't have to splash me with that turtle." Haruka mused.

"Ask me if I care." Keith shrugged and began roof-hopping towards the spidur. Haruka followed behind him.

As for Reika? She sneaked around all ninja-like and moved closer to get a shot at the Cyborg Zombie Pirate...

Fire belched from the grated end of one of the three boilers in the gut of the Spidur, showering the engine crew with hot ash and brightly glowing embers. The steadily cooling flakes sank to the grated floor, forming a new layer on the filthy cake of soot that rested there. Trudging through the dark sludge came the chief engineer, a roll of plumbers tape sloppily wound around the hole in his head. He crunched over to the far wall (which was not actually that far) and threw open the hatch on a vocal tube. “Bridge, this is the boiler room. We seem to have stopped. Do you want us to choke the furnaces?” After a moment, a reply came down the chute.

“Sorry boiler room, we are having a bit of legal trouble up here.” An awkward silence followed. “By the way, do you have any spare change?”

“What? What are you talking about? Bridge, what about the furnaces!”

“Yes, yes,” continued Vladistalk, “do the thing with the furnaces. I guess. Anyway, the gentleman with the night stick seems to want to take a look at our safe and make sure we don’t have anything illegal. Oh, and the boys manning the rear ‘scopes seem to have spotted a group of freedom fighters or something.”

“Oh…” mulled the engineer, “okay then. I’ll shut down the furnaces then, shall I? …alright then.” He waved to his team, and in a creaking shudder the Spidur entirely ceased to move.

"All right. Here we go." Keith said as the boys stopped at a rooftop literally next to the Spidur. "If you'll begin, Haruka..."

"My pleasure!" Haruka clapped his hands and pressed them on the roof top. Suddenly, massive blue energy discharges, much like electricity, began curling around the building and giant spikes sprouted outwards, heading for the Spidur.

"Now for the second stanza!" Keith smirked, forming handseals (boar, dog, bird, monkey, ram) and slamming his own hand on the ground. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

Instead of alchemy, lines sprouted from his palm and a large poof of overly elaborate smoke appeared. Some menacing creature was about to attack!

The smoke cleared. The creature was yellow, with long ears, a stout body, short legs and a lightning-shaped tail. It cocked its head in confusion. "Chu?"

Haruka sweatdropped and Keith looked like he was about to cry and/or die of embarrassment. "Why me? Why of all creatures did it have to be a Pikachu? Why couldn't it be a member of the Dragon Trio?"

"Might as well work with him, Keith. You summoned him...you use him!" Haruka laughed.

"Sigh. Might as well." Keith agreed. He looked at the Spidur again, then his frown turned into a smile. "Well, at least it's a good choice. It's made of metal, so...Pikachu, Thunderbolt!"

Pikachu's ears perked up at the command and smirked, preparing to unleash cute, flesh-roasting electric death upon the super enemy. With a shout, it unleashed a powerful blast of lightning upon the Spidur. If for some weird reason it missed, the lightning was powerful enough to make a nice big crater in the street...

=====

Reika maneuvered into attack position, forming her own seals. Fortunately for her, she was about to unleash her family's propensity for firey wrath upon the Cyborg Zombie Pirate, henceforth known as the CZP.

Katon: Housenka no Jutsu!

Reika began spitting a flurry of small yet powerful fireballs at the CZP, and that was not all. For hidden among the fireballs were shuriken and kunai, so that even if the fireballs go away, the sharp implements would still impale the CZP...

And that was the just the first act for a girl of 14!