NationStates Jolt Archive

Official United States Department of State Statement on Sakkra

As it is well-known, the relationship of the United States of Allanea with Sakkra has been bumpy at best. However, we in Allanea are people of peace, and always seek cooperation with new nations, whenever possible and wherever possible. We would like to hope that this position of ours can be applied to the Glorious Herpetological Empire of Sakkra as well as it has been applied to other nations.

As such, we would like to invite the Glorious and Mighty Herpetological Empire to send it’s representatives to Liberty-City, Allanea to converse with members of our government and to devise new ways of interaction and constructive relations between our nations.

We would like, among other things, to purchase large amounts of Sakkran goods (Mark III Chunk Projectors for use in law enforcement, mainly, but also large amounts of civilian goods for various Allanean institutions), however, that is not the main reason for our desire to meet with the Sakkrans.

As a matter of fact, we have a varied portfolio of proposals to discuss, and we will prepare a truly special reception for your people.

* * * *

It was a few weeks until the message to the Sakkrans was fully approved. It was then decided it would not be sent – at least, not but conventional means of communication. Instead, it was loaded onto a datapad and given to a minor ambassadorial clerk.

The clerk was loaded onto a special interstellar freighter – with cargo no less special – and sent off to Sakkra.

"And what exactly is the nature of our involvement with Allanea?" Emperor Gorrm stood before one of the gene-altered creatures tailored to serve as a data-display. The appearance was one of a plant-like creature with flowering blooms about 24" in diameter when opened. One of the blooms was now open and displaying the information on the datapad brought by the Allanean Ambassador. The datapad was couched in a cybernetic translating module, which the plant-display was attached to through a connection of several dozen shunt-fibers.

The assortment of minor DiploCorps officers sat cross-legged at the foot of the dais the Emperor stood on. "Our governments have no official relations of note yet, although several diplomatic probes have been recieved. InterImperial Intelligence shows that they do have several dealings within the private corporate sectors, and a small holding at the system's fringe. Traffic of Allanean nature has been nominal and restricted to their fueling and rest depot, although requests for goods from us have been filtering in."

Gorrm scratched his leathery chin with a clawed finger as he took in the information. "And now they desire to take a further step. Hrrrmmmm.... actions from their people have been ... less than exemplary in the past. Odds on some manner of diplomatic reforms?"

From the edges of the circular chamber came a low yet clear voice with a hint of a lisping Eastern Bloc accent to it. "The odds are unknown. With recent events surrounding ourselves and our allies, we have had to focus attentions elsewhere. It would be a recommendation of the Skeen to send a representative, and to conduct further investigation from behind a veil as well." The figure speaking was Investigator Sskeef of the Skeen Intelligence Agency. Mottled scales on her 2.7 meter frame served as a make-shift camouflage.

Gorrm considered for a moment as his eyes closed. "Suggestion noted." He opened his eyes again and addressed the DiploCorps Officers before him. "Contact your offices and get the Guaah DiploCorps on the job for personnel rated to this." He then addressed the Allanean Ambassador. "I will have a response ready before your transport departs that you may bring to your superiors. Should you require any refreshments or amenities, one of our servitors will accomodate you." A short bow is given at this.

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The response.....


Good cycle to you and yours,

We have recieved your ambassador and return him to you in the condition presented to us, as well as a response from the Emperor of the Herpetological Empire.

Representatives various branches of the Guaah DiploCorps will be dispatched to Liberty City in a couple cycle's time to allow for preparation and travel-lag. They will have the authority to discuss and act under the Imperial Banner save for possible topics of the highest security. We hope you will receive them well.

They will be dispatched from our holdings under full Imperial escort. Once in your territories, however, the bulk of security will be in your hands. There will be an honor guard present for them comprising the standard of two guards per representative at all times. I hope this is not inconvenient.

Emperor Gorrm
Herpetological Empire of Sakkra
Capitol of Pakaa
Sslaa V

“So, what’s the chances that they are going to consent to your offer, Victoria?” – said the boy as he rested his hands on the edge of the pool. She looked down on him – not because she had any problem with the President-for-Life, but merely because she was in fact standing over him at the pool’s side.

“I don’t know, fairly speaking. However, with the… dismal state of the Diplomatic Corps… my suggestion is that we take every opportunity of improving relations with other nations. Even being seen as trying is a very, very good thing.”

“Mmm. Do you have all of the minor procedural details prepared?”

“You just awarded me a medal for my actions in Neo-Dallas. How likely do you think am I to screw things up?”

“Considering everything, Victoria? I would argue you are practically bound to screw something up.” He laughed. “Just kidding, Viccy.”

Alexander pulled himself entirely out of the pool in a single swift motion. It would become now apparent that he was – at least physically – the complete reverse from a Sakkran. Tall, and rather thin – almost morbidly so – and extremely pale, the boy-president was something of an exercise in what some Rowling character would have looked like had he had the chance to grow up to be eighteen.

Happily, today the President was on vacation. It took him only a few seconds to put himself into a pair of blue shorts and a faded shirt inscribed with the slogan What Would Picard Do?. Then, there was a snag.

“Viccy, where are my glasses?”

“Why exactly do you need them anyway, Alex? Can’t you just take up a body with 20/20 or something?”

“Yes, but this one is my… natural body so to speak. I actually like it. Oh, here are the glasses. Let’s go to the house, see if we can make something up.”

In the meanwhile, the Navy was already choosing a group of sailors and Hughie patrol craft to escort the ambassador from Sakkra – when he would arrive – to Liberty-City transport. What mode of greeting was chosen was not yet fully decided upon, but one thing was clear.

It was going to be fabulous.

Bosska, Director of the Guaah DiploCorps office, sat cycling through his personnel files while the scent of nutmeg tea wafted from his mug. Every so often his eye would drift off to the scenery from his window. A coastline overlooking a bustling city with incoming flights, both terrestrial and spacial flights coming in to the Kastaa Docks.

It's good I decided to remain here while my family headed off to settle in Sslaa. The scenery calms my weary soul. His attention shifted again to his work as he took a sip of his tea. One of the files caught his eye, and he had it superimposed over the remainder of the scrolling data. Hmmm... internship at Hreer Weaponry, negotiation apprentice under Trade Minister Kargaah, good service record with MilInt, 15 years active service in the DiploCorps....not bad. Shows promise.

The data was uploaded into his forearm storage symbiote, and the display went into a resting mode as he stood up and walked away from his desk with his now-empty mug. His aide was typing fast and furious at her desk as he approached. "Kheeba, I would like this officer to meet me at the public house down the street tonight." The symbiote shot out a shunt tendril as he placed his hand on his aide's desk which connected with her terminal's port, and the data was downloaded. "He should have returned from his holiday by now."

Kheeba looked over the info briefly for contact information. "Will do, sirrah. If it's an away trip, should I assign standard guard?"

"Yes. Do that. I need to refill my mug and don't wish to be disturbed when I get back to the office." The shunt retracted back into his symbiote, and his hand removed itself from her desk. "And see if there's any more chocolate truffles in the stores. I'm feeling an itchy sweet tooth today."

"Aye aye, sirrah."

“We are ready, sir.”

The escort – composed of thirty Hughie ships, and a whole cloud of drones of varying sizes, was completing it’s formation training exercises. When the time arrived, they would greet the Sakkran diplomats in a perfect formation of dozens of multicolored ships to dazzle the eye, flying with practically surgical precision to trace the diplomatic ship and to escort it to dock.

On the ground, a battalion of the Marines trained what Allanean soldiers hate most – parade drills, time after time after time, to learn how to best greet the Sakkran envoy and to ensure his good will. Simultaneously, dozens of Diplomatic Service people were being briefed on the best procedures regarding the Sakkrans. There could not be allowed to be any failure on the current mission.

It was clear that this was going to be big.

Ssouu walked into the Yot public house, smelling the air briefly. From the scents he could discern was a notable elven population, with a scattering of humans and the smell of cinnamon. Dingy-colored lighting kept definitive profiles from being seen, but the table with a small group had a raucous noise coming from it.

In a corner behind a table sat the proprietor of the place, Dhaar. His antique cybernetic eye leveled on Ssouu, and gestured to the room behind him, accessible by a narrow stretch of corridor. A nod of his head, and Ssouu walked past, his eye catching a hint of a ledger before the proprietor. After passing into the hall, a pair of previously undetected bodyguards sealed off the entryway with their massive frames, preventing anyone else from intruding. Or exiting. As always, 'Dirty' Dhaar keeps a tight ship.

Walking into the room beyond the corridor, a distinct difference could be seen. The scent of an elven pheromones was still present, but it wasn't as heady. Several different subtle smells mixed and coalesced in this room, which sported furniture made of mahogany and plush settings. The lighting was decidedly brighter and crisper. At the far end of the room sat Bosska, gesturing slightly with his clawed fingers.

Ssouu sat opposite of him as a servitor approached. "Some nutmeg tea for me, and for the youngster here......" His hand signaled that Ssouu should place an order. One eye looked up at the servitor. "Kansee tea with honey, please." The servitor gave a slight bow and retreated. "Director Bosska, good cycle to you."

Bosska chuffed a bit. "And to you as well. No need to address me so formally here. We're both off the clock, so to speak." Ssouu nodded assent. "Very well. You call me in to the most interesting places. Some day you'll regale me of tales of your youthful daring-do?"

A jet of vapor escaped Bosska's nostrils as he chuckled. "That would make an interesting tale. The proprietor and I grew up in the same village, and have been in touch since with each other. Although our lives have taken different tracks, the differences, when moral implications aren't involved, are quite minute." The beverage orders arrived, and the pair nodded their thanks to the retreating servitor.

"But let me inform you of why I called you here to this place where unseen eyes can't penetrate easily. Recently a diplomatic probe arrived from Allanea..."

"Again?"

Bosska paused a moment, both eyes leveling on Ssouu. "....Yes, again. This probe is within reason, though. More of an inquiry to better relations between our peoples. Trade discussions and the like. It corresponds to recent requests for civilian goods from them, and of course requests for military technology. Our assessment suggests that, though they may understand the theory behind our MilTech, their implimentation of it would be haphazard."

Ssouu took a sip of his tea and swallowed with his eyes closed until it went down his throat. "And i'm being told this ......"

"Because you're going to Liberty City to have talks with Allanean representatives."

Bosska lowered his mug of nutmeg tea and gave Ssouu time to digest this information. Ssouu, in the meantime, stared at his cup as his fingers fidgeted with the handle a bit. "I see. This has been put through the crunchers at the office?"

"It has. 90% chance they're seeking to reform their image, 8.5% chance they've initiated government reforms and they're acting on those now. 1.5% chance of this being a feint."

"A feint.....seems unlikely. The repercussions would be unpleasant." One thing Sakkrans were masters of, besides full-scale overkill, was extreme understatement. "Hmmm.... what level of authority would I have?"

"Authority level is Third under the Banner."

"Third....." Ssouu's mind raced to take this in. This means allowance for anything unclassified."Standard honor guard?"

"We've already assigned your guard in advance. They'll meet you at the Kastaa Dock Bay. Be prepped for an early flight next cycle."

"Comprehended. I'll take my leave and prepare." The mug of Kansee tea was empty as Ssouu placed it on the table.

"Mmmm." Bosska mumbled his assent and took another swig of his tea. As Ssouu got up and left the room to go back to his apartment, he could spy Bosska lighting up a macanudo brought by one of the elven servitors.

“Do you have everything prepared?” – asked the Ambassador-General of the Department of State clerks standing in front of him, dressed in dark-blue paramilitary uniforms. “Yes, Sir, all is ready. We have ordered the ships to fly out to meet the Sakkrans once we receive confirmation from them of their impending arrival.”

“Very well. Are the gift packages prepared?”

“Yes, sir, prepared and laid out.”

“Have all the staff been properly instructed?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Let us begin.”

Maintenance crews swarmed about the Reptavian dropship like carrion flies on a carcass. The M.P.P. being outfitted on it was an M.C.U. type, adjusted to serve as a civilian transit pod. Alpha-minis were checking the quad turbo-thrust jets and comm arrays while the pilots performed their pre-flight checks. The scene behind the dropship was much the same for the escort crafts consisting of 6 Swatter aero-space fighters.

Ssouu's guard detail awaited him at the foot of the dropship's ramp, and saluted as he approached; left hand splayed over their chest. For the nearly 10' tall Deep One, it looked odd seeing that lobster-like claw trying to splay out, but he sure wasn't going to comment on it. The TacSoft Trooper serving as the other bodyguard stepped forward and held his personal cannon aloft at parade rest. "Representative Ssouu, good cycle to you."

"And you as well."

"I have here from Ambassador Bosska your final travel assortment." He held out a circular tube of a translucent nature. Inside Ssouu could see a bit of the varying symbiotids floating about in their nutrient baths, awaiting the time they would be called to service.

"Excellent. I'll express my gratitude with the success of this mission." the Trooper returned to his position at the ramp, while the Deep One escorting Ssouu spoke in that grinding, gnashing way they do as armored mouthplates ground against each other. Translating symbiotes turned it into rough but serviceable speech.

"Care of your body is in hands. Set heart at rest. On life, it is sworn."

Ssouu looked at the Deep One's eyes, which seemed to emit a soft jade glow. Sure, it's only the light reflecting off their visual receptors, but it's still spooky. He bowed slightly before the being that almost seemed like a bad b-grade film monster of the 20th century. "My thanks to you for your vigilence." The Deep One 'harrumph'ed at that while Ssouu turned his head and looked back at the skyline of Kastaa. No trumpeting send-off. My time spent in the human's land got me used to an abundance of fan-fare I guess.

Ssouu stepped onto the ramp and made his way into the travel-pod of the dropship, with his guard detail following three steps behind. After a moment, where an onboard servitor made sure they were secured, the ramp lifted up, the pod pressurized and the dropship and escort rose up and made their way off to Liberty City. The Pilot commed out advance notice to Allanean air-control, signalling their departure.

In Allanean orbital space.

“We have an approaching Sakkran spacecraft, at vector Four-Five-Beta-Quad, repeat, Four, Five, Beta, Quad, ready with escort formation at my command, right about now.” – the Orbital Traffic Control officer dropped the receiver down and smiled. At the very least, this was going to be extremely fine to watch – unless someone screws it up. And even then, he thought, this was bound to be spectacular.

And spectacular it was.

”Alpha, this is Delta, assuming escort formation at your command, fully ready, now.” The swarms of craft formed around the Sakkran vessel, enveloping it entirely in a diamond-pattern position, as if protecting it from a fictional threat. Even from inside the craft, it would be evident that the movement of the Allanean pilots was well-timed, their maneuvers precise and expert. Yes, Allanea was a nation that valued it’s military, and it was ready to prove it on the parade ground as it did on the battlefield.

On the ground, the Sakkran delegate was met by a battalion of Allanean Marines, their famous wide-brimmed hats well-brushed, their shoes, badges, and weapons glittering in the sun. “Attention! Prepare to receive foreign dignitary!”

“Yes, Sir, Battalion prepared.”

“Men, shoulder your rifles!”

“Yes, Sir!”

The craft landed, and the door opened. “Rifles, port!”

Silently, the heavy ABR-666 rifles moved in a single, coordinated motion.

“Morning, SIR!” – the Marines addressed the Sakkran in a single bellow. Their commander ran out in front of the formation:

“Morning, honorable delegate! As commander of this formation, I hereby welcome you to the United States of Allanea! My Marine Battalion shall be honored to escort you!”

As he finished – and the Marines saluted the Sakkran crisply and in unison.

Another man, in Ambassadorial blue, approached the Sakkran.

“Greeting, your Honor. We welcome you to the United States. Please accept this gift as a token of our appreciation.”

He handed the Sakkran a black wooden box. Inside it was a gold-plated pistol of elaborate work, and a knife of similar quality. “This is a personal gift for you from the United States. We have a similar set of weapons for your glorious leader, which we would like you to transfer to him when you return home.”

After entering Allanean orbital space, the Swatter escorts broke off as the Allanean escort approached. Swiveling thrusters allowed particularly sharp banking and propelled them homeward. Inside the modified M.C.U. pod of the transport, scanners kept track of each incoming escort, projecting and calculating future movements. "Well, they are conditioned." Ssouu opened the canister of Paroo and took a hearty swig.

The Reptavian re-entered atmosphere and inertial compensators kicked in, miniimizing shaking and jarring. After sufficient speed decrease, the V.T.O.L. wings swept out, and directional turbo-thrust fans came online guiding the ship to its destination.

Approach, landing and powering down all happened without a hitch or anyone blown back on their aft-ends. The ramp descended and Ssouu exited the transport, the TacSoft trooper two steps behind him, and the Deep One two steps behind the trooper.

Morning, SIR!” – the Marines addressed the Sakkran in a single bellow.

Ssouu allowed his eyes to adjust a moment in the harsher sun, and nodded his head. The guards flanked him on either side, the trooper hoisted his EM Mass Driver 1.3 at parade rest, his ceremonial sledgehammer slung to his back. The Deep One carried no visible weaponry.

Their commander ran out in front of the formation:

“Morning, honorable delegate! As commander of this formation, I hereby welcome you to the United States of Allanea! My Marine Battalion shall be honored to escort you!”

As he finished – and the Marines saluted the Sakkran crisply and in unison.

Ssouu took notice of the man's rank denotations, and saluted as Sakkrans do. Left hand splayed over his chest. "Good cycle, commander. The escort is most appreciated."

Another man, in Ambassadorial blue, approached the Sakkran.

“Greeting, your Honor. We welcome you to the United States. Please accept this gift as a token of our appreciation.”

He handed the Sakkran a black wooden box. Inside it was a gold-plated pistol of elaborate work, and a knife of similar quality. “This is a personal gift for you from the United States. We have a similar set of weapons for your glorious leader, which we would like you to transfer to him when you return home.”

Ssouu looked at the box with the pistol and dagger inside with one eye, the other never leaving the face of the ambassador. "A fine gift. It will be displayed well." None of us would ever be able to wield it, but it's the spirit of the matter that counts.

In a seemingly absentminded manner, Ssouu tapped a claw on his chin. "Ah, yes. And a greeting present for you as well." He signaled to the trooper with his right hand, and the guard unslung the ceremonial hammer from his back and presented it to Ssouu, who clasped it in one hand at the middle of the handle.

The handle was wrapped in brown leather with studwork on it, and the head was of titanium weighing 45 lbs. "An antiquated dueling weapon of my people. This one is of ceremonial value." He presented it to the ambassador with both hands held upwards, exposing the middle of the handle.

The Ambassador tried not to show how heavy – much too heavy – the weapon was for him, and immediately transferred it to the care of one of the Marines. Of course, the genetically and cybernetically augmented man had significantly less trouble with the immense weapon – after all, the standard weapon of the Allanean Space Marine Corps is 12 kilos in weigh, and if you learn to run around with such a weapon daily, holding on to a 30-kilo hammer for two minutes is not such a big chore. Especially if you have hydraulic assist inside your arms helping your usual muscle.

The Allaneans then took the Sakkran diplomat towards what would appear to be a truly immense vehicle – a horrendous spawn off TwenCen sport-utility vehicles, except bigger, fusion-powered, and extremely lavishly decorated. In the back seat, there was what amounted to an extremely big screen, demonstrating – at the moment – some Allanean sport.

“Welcome to Allanea, Sir.”

As the car started, the screen image switched.

“That’s Rules-Free Wrestling. It’s an Allanean sport, perhaps you would enjoy it, Sir?”

“Kill! Kill him! Kill him!”

Jones “Pirate Rocket” Danson walked into the ring. He was over six feet tall, his body covered in tattoos and scars. He lifted his hand, flicked his fingers a few times, and clenched his fist. He looked at his opponent and grinned menacingly.

Nigel “Mutilator” Torrez grinned back, putting his left leg slightly back. He was significantly thinner, had long, black hair, and only a single rose tattoo on his lower belly. Behind him, his fans shouted his trademark phrase: “Mu-ti-late! Mu-ti-late! Mu-ti-late!”

“Start!” – screamed the referee – and dodged out of the ring. “Pirate Rocket” was the first one to swing out with his oversized first, but by the time his hand passed where Nigel started, the Mutilator already wasn’t there.

Danson turned – too slowly. All that he managed to see was the Mutilator’s shoe approach his face.

But it wasn’t over. Blood streaming from his eyebrow, Danson punshed Torrez twice, propelling his body backwards like a rag doll.

But the Mutilator got up.

And it continued…

The supercar sped down the highway, Marine vehicles forming an escort around it, proud Marine troops standing upright in their vehicles. Seconds after the match was over – with Torrez winning – the vehicle stopped near a skyscraper-sized building – a rare sight in Allanea.

“Here, Sir. The Department of State building.”

Ssouu and his guard detail followed behind the Ambassador until they were escorted to the utility vehicle. Ssouu and the trooper entered the vehicle. The Deep One, however, noticed the extremely tight fit he'd present, looked about, and headed to one of the open-cabbed trucks that had the least of the escorting marines in it. While boarding, his mouthplates grinded and gnashed while his translator symbiote kicked in. "Don't mind me."

The vehicles took off with Ssouu looking at the sport event. The visor of the trooper's helmet masked any noticeable change in expression, but the ambassador picked up the scent of cinnamon wafting off the trooper. Getting a little excited, eh?

Ssouu leaned back in the seat, wrapping his tail around his waist. "I might enjoy this sport. Reminds me of the Kai-Lindo tourney's the Order has back home. And please, call me Ssouu. I do not sign your pay-vouchers, after all." The event played on, and the ambassador watched until they came to the Department of State building.

Ssouu leaned his head back slightly, looking upwards and making room for his guard with a side-step. "I see our architectural tastes vary from one another."

“Oh, it is awful, your honor. Not any Allanean would live in such a building – as a matter of fact, we try to set it up so that only the very poor live in apartments. Most people actually live in standalone houses – which, is you will see, is the reason we invited your to Allanea – or at least part of it.”

* * *

The Ambassador’s office was Spartan to the extreme, with nothing but seats, a table, and a pair of computers, one for him and one for the guest. An Allanean flag was present behind him – not a small tiny table-top flag, either, but rather a full-size official flag. He waited for the Sakkran to sit down – the chair crackled a little, but did not give- and then sat down himself.

“Well, I suppose we should get started.”

Ssouu sat at the chair afforded him in the spartan room. He produced a canister from the satchel at his side, and removed several squirmy objects from them. One he attached to his forearm, another to his hand and a third right behind his ear-hole.

The symbiotes writhed a moment as neural-shunts attached themselves to the skin of the Sakkran that lies between the minute separations between the scales. A small box with dozens of pinholes on it, seemingly made of a plastic-like substance, was placed on the table. Numerous shunts from the forearm and hand attached themselves to small ports within it.

Slight wiggling of the fingers and wrist seemed to satisfy Ssouu. "Alright. Where to start?

“Oh, that’s rather complex. You see, we would like to have a full alliance with your nation with the future – something we won’t even bother to hide, as we don’t see anything wrong with it.”

“On the other hand, we don’t really expect you to accept such a proposal at this time. We feel thus that a certain intermediary structure is to be used – a treaty of cooperation, you would say, to establish a better relationship between the Herpetological Empire and the United States. If you agree with me – which I hope you do, otherwise, why would you come here? – then perhaps you have ideas for measures that need to be included?”

“I was considering options such as free trade, student exchanges, military cross-training, and suchlike. But of course the main reason we invited you is to work out a joint text.”

Ssouu twiddled his fingers, wrapped in the fiberous bundles as they were, prompting displays on the monitor before him. "There's some merit to what you say. Indeed, one should not take such steps too hastily. Strong bonds form through a solid foundation. A student exchange would be interesting, although the welfare of our student body, as well as the chronological and cultural differences therein, would be of concern of the DiploCorps. Chronological meaning that our lifespans vary from yours, and as such our educational system, tailored to meet that, is different. I'm not certain how it would be translated."

Ssouu's free hand scritched his chin. "Trade is not out of the question. As you might know, we're considered, on the human scale, to be pretty uncultured. This is fine by us, but causes misunderstandings abroad. Our hatchlings have grown to have a taste for human-culture music, namely instrumentals of the wind and brass variety. Lacking lips, it is difficult for us to produce these sounds even with instruments. As such there is a market for it."

“Oh.” – the Allanean responded – “You of course realize that the Allanean society is not limited to humans. We are home to approximately ten, maybe fifteen different races, and humans are only a single one of them – a majority indeed, but a slim one. But besides that, we – and the Sakkrans as well, I hazard – are already in the age of faster-than-light travel. Surely you realize that with our age’s medicine, natural lifespans are… only a question of form.”

“Other than that, Allaneans love music. I am sure that once the floodgates of free trade are opened, they’ll be happy to obliges. As they say in Allanea – Anonymous Provides!”

Fingers continued twiddling, queing up prompts on the screen before Ssouu. "Hrrmmm...seems the datafeeds don't have the most current information concerning Allanean population. I'll see that that's amended. As such, i'll forward the proposal for student exchange to the University heads and see who clamps down on it." A scent of nutmeg wafted off Ssouu at this, while his eyes narowed down.

"Although one concern we would have is the environmental conditions here. It would seem that this is a low concern for your government. Is this also incorrect? We, as a people, are sensitive to those conditions." A loud sniffing sound is heard.

“Oh, that’s a bit of a misconception. We just deal with environmental problems through the civil courts, rather then a system of regulation. Factory smogging up your sky? Sue them. Chlorine in your river? Sue. And given that pollution is too inefficient for the age of starship, there hardly is any. On the other hand , environmentalism is based in Allanea on the comfort and safety of sapients, not on a belief in the intrinsic sacral value of nature, if that’s what you mean. Can I help you with further information?”

Ssouu's neck-crest seems to press flat against his skin as a low rumble comes out from his throat. "Hrmmmm...that would be worrisome for the purpose of educational exchanges and personnel swaps of that nature. But i'm not about to pull out a soap-box on the street corner over it. I'm sure your datafeeds show the Imperial Expenditures, so that would give the opinion of our people on that subject."

He perks up a touch at the closing of that statement. "As for trade dealings, we can waive tariffs and taxation on universally agreed civilian goods. Luxury items, however, are a subjective matter. For instance, our ground craft manufacture ability is near zero save for public transit due to a low demand for it. For us, that would be called a luxury item. To contrast that, i'm not sure there's a market here for reptavian mounts, which is our more common mode of transit. Your thoughts on this?"

"Reptavian mounts? I frankly am at a loss as to what they are for, but this is Allanea. Our Secretary of State buys modeling parts from Menelmacar and paint from Knootoss. Having a hobby is not tolerated - it's universal. Someone, I am sure, would have a thing for those mounts - or, more interestingly, for your cooking."

The Ambassador makes notations on his terminal. "I'll apprise our Tenders on that. It'd be a boon for them, i'm sure. Some information should arrive via datafeed by nightfall."

A few moments later, he looks up. "You're saying our cooking is of interest? Very interesting....do you seek information on the ingredients, preparation ceremony or finished product?"

"Oh, do not misunderstand me. I am not talking about my personal interest, but rather the fact that there are many in Allanea that would enjoy tasting new and exotic foodstuffs, and that these foodstuffs - exotic to us as they may be- would find a market in Allanea."

"Understood. Bear in mind our diet varies from humans. Due to a lack of molar-teeth, we tend towards chewier foods that are bulky. Root vegetables, a plentitude of meats and fiberous fruits. These are offered at the table along with gizzard-stones to aid in digestion. I'm sure the market for those stones would be non-existant in Allanea." Ssouu cues through a list from the datafeed of indiginous culinary items, and shunts it to the Allanean Ambassador's terminal.

"Here you'll find a prepared listing of foods unique to our lands here and in the Sslaa System." The list includes the fruit of the Paroo tree, the seeds of the fruit and their various applications. Also covered are items such as the Kansee vine, Swamp Newts, the Ghaan, the Hhouular, Burrig gourds and a variety of odd flora and fauna and their various uses both medicinal, utilitarian and dietary. "You can run that listing with your people and see what drums up, yes?"

"Umm." - noted the Allanean. - "How about Allanea opens her borders to all your goods and removes whatever tariffs there may be - if there are any at the moment - and let the market decide what it may? There are seven billion people in this nation, you know. Even a half-percent share of the market may make a Sakkran company rich. I really don't see why I should put upon the government of Allanea the task to be the guardian of people's culinary tastes of all things - pardone me the expression."

Ssouu chuckled a bit, exhibited by a small steam-like jet coming from the nostrils on top of his head. "It's understandable. One's government can't be expected to hold its populace by the hand at all times. For us, culinary items are a sensitive matter. What may be yummy for some may be toxic for others. All foodstuffs are tested by our MedTech staff to ensure compatibility. It would be an 'incident' if, say, an Allanean drank Kansee tea and died on the spot, so to speak. That'd be bad for trade since all our goods may be suspect at that point, yes?"

Ssouu took a small symbiote from its nutrient bath and laced it near his throat, where minute tendrils slithered from its body and shunted into his neck. "Sorry, the air's a bit dry here. Gotta keep my membranes strong. Anyway, the info will be given to your computer. Tariffs and taxations can be lifted for goods across the board for the time being. What say you?"

"Brilliant. So, here goes a paragraph:

"The Herpetological Empire of Sakkra and the United States of Allanea will hereby agree to a mutual suspension trade tariffs, hereby agreeing to a free trade treaty."

"Are there other concerns you would like to address? Say, military cross-training and cooperation?"

Ssouu listened as the first paragraph was read off. "The first paragraph sounds good. Naturally, some items of high security level will remain off-market. Further issues ....." He scritched his chin with his free hand a bit. "Military cross-training is not a bad idea. From the smell of them, I take it your soldiers are, for the most part, GeneModded? The adrenal levels were a bit sharper than otherwise. But I see no problem."

Doing a quick check on his terminal, Ssouu brings up the schedule of local and national events for the Herpetological Empire. "Perhaps we should schedule a cultural caucus? In order to familiarize your people with ours, and vice-versa."

"Very well.

Let me rephrasE:

"1.The Herpetological Empire of Sakkra and the United States of Allanea will hereby agree to a mutual suspension trade tariffs, hereby agreeing to a free trade treaty.

2. The HES and the USA will agree to a cultural caucus to be conducted on [date], and to future security cooperation and cross-training."

"Is there anything else you should like to add?"

The ambassador nods his head slowly. "That sounds fine for now on my end." The agreement thus far is streamed into a datachit in his shunt-box.

"What about you? Do you have any issues to add in?"

"I would like the Sakkrans to establish an embassy an Allanea, on our Embassy lane. And added to the above, that's it."

Ssouu looks at the Allanean ambassador with one eye, while the other stays on his monitor. A couple of moments of 'hrrrmmm'ing and 'chuff'ing pass. "I believe that can be agreed to, with stipulations. The first of these being that our embassy would have to be a free-standing structure as opposed to an office in a building." He looks at the ambassador with both eyes now, seeming to await a response before continuing.

"I don't see how this could be a problem."

"Very good." Ssouu went through the usual DiploCorps embassy requirements. "The embassy will need to be constructed of our native materials with our own contracting crews. Security will be handled as well by the HerpEmpire. All land agreed upon will be treated as native Sakkran soils and all laws therein will be enacted. Are these agreeable terms so far?"

"Again, this is normal procedure already in Allanea. Worry not, your needs shall be addressed."

"Very good. Just had to make certain as some nations don't recognize diplomatic sovereignity." Ssouu looked over eveything discussed that was recorded.

"I see no problems. We can proceed with these agreed measures for the interim."

1.The Herpetological Empire of Sakkra and the United States of Allanea will hereby agree to a mutual suspension trade tariffs, hereby agreeing to a free trade treaty.

2. The HES and the USA will agree to a cultural caucus to be conducted on [date], and to future security cooperation and cross-training.

3. An Embassy Exchange shall take place between the HES and the USA.

[signed by the Allanean diplomat]

1.The Herpetological Empire of Sakkra and the United States of Allanea will hereby agree to a mutual suspension trade tariffs, hereby agreeing to a free trade treaty.

2. The HES and the USA will agree to a cultural caucus to be conducted on [date], and to future security cooperation and cross-training.

3. An Embassy Exchange shall take place between the HES and the USA.

{SigIdent 307a57b7 GeneCode 827k Guaah DiploCorps}

After inputting his SigIdent, Ssouu sighs briefly. "Is it out of turn to look over possible areas for establishing the groundbreaking of the embassy?"

"Not at all. Feel completely at home."

Ssouu taps on his hand symbiote, and the shunts retract from the translating box, where it resumes its shape of being a small amber blob on his hand. The other symbiotes follow suit, save for his personal translator. He then stands, and adjusts his robes. "By your leave, then. After all, i'm not familiar with the lands as of yet."

"I will gladly accompany you. Did the vehicles we provided prove comfortable, or should we send another?"

"With your people's special tastes, perhaps you owuld prefer to purchase or lease land on the outskirts of the city, where a larger, more isolated compound would be easier to create?"

Ssouu stands and begins sorting his various possessions on the table, tucking the symbiotids in their appropo nutrient bath case. "The previous vehicles were sufficient, albeit a tad cramped."

He finishes making sure everything is fastened down. "I think that some land purchased on the outskirts would most likely be the optimal solution. We do like to bathe in the noon-time sun, after all. I would suspect that would create a scene in the diplomatic quarter, yes? Let us begin the search there."

"Very well. Mind, the locals don't care about what you look like or do. It's the other foreign ambassadors you need to worry about in these matters."

Another truck is procured - one in which the Sakkran can ride without all those Marines being in his personal space. And thus, he is taken to the suburbs - vast, miles wide stretches of various private cottages, from the usual red-roof design, to the novel globe-shaped buildings.

Suddenly, there is a large patch of green.

"This is yet undeveloped. It is going to be, since it's right next to a major road leading straight into the city center - but perhaps it would be a good site for an embassy?"

"Mmmm...it shows promise." The ambassador waits for the vehicle to come to a full stop, and then steps out and takes a deep sniff. "Smells good. Evergreens are present.....good ground cover. Seems the soil is nice. Can I get a quick deep reading?"

The trooper comes forward and removes his helmet. He places the side of his head on the ground and his tympanum start wavering, making a low, rhythmic, thrumming sound. After a minute of this, he picks his head back up. "Multiple small mineral deposits, but nothing substantial. Traces of ferrous materials found; most likely abandoned farming equipment. No sinkholes or subterran bodies of water."

Ssouu cups his chin in his hand. "I see. Nothing that can't be worked around, though." After a few minutes thought, he turns to the Allanean Ambassador. "What would the total acreage be for this plot of land?"

The Allanean points a small pen-like device at the area, sweeping it backward and forward. Within seconds, the device measures the limits of the area, and displays a few digits, projected into the air in front of the pen for the Sakkran to see. It seems that the area is slightly larger then what the Sakkrans originally had in mind - significantly larger, in fact.

"Nevermind that. You will find that the land is... much cheaper then you would expect."

Ssouu looks around the area like he's some manner of land surveyor, accompanied by plenty of 'Hmmm.."ing and "Uh-huh"ing. He looks over at his Deep One guard. "What would you need to be made comfy here?"

The guard shambles over to the Ambassador's side, and takes a moment as the area registers in his senses. Mouth-plates grind and gnash as his claws clack together. "There will need to be body of water. Shale around it. Shade trees. Mmmm...yes."

Ssouu seems to look in the same area. "Right. Nothing that can't be done fairly easily." He turns to the Allanean ambassador and extends a clawed hand. "Right. It's a deal. We'll purchase the lot and establish ourselves here per our agreement."

"Excellent." - says the Allanean as he shakes the Sakkran's hand. "Anything else we may do for you?"

Ssouu shook his head briefly. "No, no. From this point it'll be handled by numerous agents of numerous agencies. We'll probably be more in contact in the future as negotiations would need be revisited. I'd suspect they'll position me here in the Embassy at completion."

He takes a long, leisurely look around. "I'm almost certain that we'll put up an artificial hot-spring here. be sure to tell the other embassies that it'll be available for diplomatic use, yes?"