NationStates Jolt Archive

[Statement from the Department of Foreign Affairs]

Recent talks with the Liberal Communist Reich regarding a cessation of hostilities between it and the Militaristic Federation have successfully engendered the return of trade and diplomatic ties between Tyrandis and Tocrowkia. Severed for nearly five years since the Federation became a member of the Coalition Against Democracy, it is with great joy that our Department announces an end to our mutually destructive cold war and a return to normal, friendly, international relations. With the near outbreak of war over the Reich's crusade against the Corporate Alliance averted thanks to last minute negotiations by the Lady Autocrat of Tyrandis, Kurumi Hamazaki, our Beloved Leader had this to say regarding these positive developments with the Tocrowkian government:



As we have all seen in the recent crisis that threatened to engulf our dear state in the flames of bitter violence, it is evident that Tyrandis treads a dangerous path in this treacherous world. It is the responsibility of our government to maintain the precious peace and order that our state has struggled for in many long years. The folly of our belligerence against those who would otherwise be our friends has been shamefully exposed; minor ideological differences between Tyrandis and Tocrowkia nearly drew our states into a shooting war. Frosty tensions pushed us to the brink, and it is clearly the work of Divine Providence that we did not descend into the madness of open conflict. Fortunately for ourselves, this nightmare was not to be; instead, we have gained amiable friends.

I would now like to cite the words of the great foreign economist Frederic Bastiat: "When goods do not cross borders, soldiers will." Tyrandis did not heed this wise advice, and as a result, suffered five long years of protracted, needless isolation from the Reich. I would like to apologize on behalf of my government to the Tyrandisan and Tocrowkian peoples for our foolish hostility. We had committed a grave error, much to the detriment of all. To remedy past mistakes, I would like to announce that I will personally travel to the Liberal Communist Reich on a monthly basis to discuss the future of Tyrandisan-Tocrowkian trade and diplomatic relations. This future looks bright indeed; may fate maintain this amiable state of affairs until the end of time.

I would like to conclude this speech with much gratitude to our Tocrowkian friends, who so generously carved four massive statues of myself and gave them to our state as a token of our newly forged friendship."

[Kurumi Hamazaki] (http://images-jp.amazon.com/images/P/B000A0K5S2.09.MZZZZZZZ.jpg)
[Lady Autocrat of the Militaristic Federation]

Our friends within Tyrandis have nothing to apologize for, as we have forgiven and forgotten the nasty bit in our mutual friendship. In rushing to war, we were not attempting to spread our ideology. We were simply trying to save the world and preserve it for future generations. A world in which diversity, both in people and in Governments is still prevalent, and not a world united within the cold confines of a Corporate Cubicle.

And as another show of our genuine desire to remain friends, we present four more 60 meter Ebony Statues of the lovely Autocrat Kurumi Hamazaki. And we also note we will be honored and pleased to have Hamazaki visit us on a monthly basis. This is especially true of our leader, Her Grace Isabella Reinhard....


-Reich Foreign Ministry: Suggestive, flirty, and chirpy messages Division-

SIC:

[Flight ROC1, Personal Transport of the Autocrat]

The enormous, heavily converted Airbus A380 carrying the Lady Autocrat of Tyrandis passed through a calm sky without issue. Perfect flying weather ensured that the flight was turbulence free, save for a short fifteen minute period in which the pilot rode the jetstream for a faster arrival time. ROC1 from Sydney International Airport to the Tocrowkian capital was on time and would likely arrive in one hour or so. But the Autocrat's personal transport was not the only aircraft that would arrive from Tyrandis; of comparable importance were the two Globemaster IIIs, each loaded to the brim with the finest products the Militaristic Federation had to offer. These were, of course, implements of war. Where other states produced cars and butter for her citizens, Tyrandis built missiles and aircraft. It was the former weapon that the Globemasters were carrying, a non-lethal weapon termed TXGM-551 Helicopter Deployed Joint Capture Weapon, designed to release a large net to incapacitate civilians. The Liberal Communist Reich placed a fairly large order, 40,000 to be exact. A first batch of 500 munitions would be arriving with Kurumi Hamazaki's inaugural "friendship visit" to Tocrowkia.

The Lady Autocrat herself was preparing for the arrival at this time, donning the appropriate makeup and clothing. Exact terms she had negotiated with the Reich for the opening of diplomatic relations had never been disclosed publicly; this was due to the inevitable torrent of scorn and criticism Hamazaki would face if this information were to ever leak out into the public. Fortunately for her, the Tyrandisan facade of a "free press" was always suppressed and censored by the government. Otherwise, her promise of monthly conjugal visits to the Tocrowkian Stewardess hidden under the guise of "trade" discussions would create a scandal threatening to topple the government itself. Of course, this small price was trivial compared to the rewards Tyrandis would reap; tariff-free arms sales, new export markets, and several massive statues built in honor of Lady Autocrat Kurumi Hamazaki. It was with this knowledge that she accepted Stewardess Reinhard's conditions. After all, sacrifice of her sense of properity was a trivial sum in comparison to the huge benefits that Tocrowkian trade offered. At least this... discreet arrangement ensured that not even the most transient of rumors would spread back to the Federation's borders.

Of course, Hamazaki had an inkling of what the Reich was planning on doing with the TXGM-551s her country was selling to them. While perhaps distasteful in the extreme to an outside observer, the promise of dollars spoke to the Lady Autocrat in a far more authoritative voice than her nonexistent conscience. After all, Hamazaki herself would gladly pay any price to improve the stature of Tyrandis in the world. If foreigners that the Militaristic Federation had neither contact or ties to had to suffer, then so would it be.

Upon the Autocrat's aircraft crossing over into Tocrowkian Airspace, the Aircrafts pilots were politely asked to state their intentions, as well as their origin. Though it was clear from the sound of the voices on the other side they were military in origin, due to the calm, cold and collected air about them. Indeed, in times of war, air control was usually shifted from civilians and to the military for enhanced security.

Of course preparations were already being made for the Autocrats arrival at the airport. Her Grace her self eagerly awaited Hamazaki's arrival, and for more than one reason A pimped-out limo, with various luxurious amenities was prepared, along with 20 meter tall platinum statues of the Autocrat, a surprise gift for the Autocrat to add to the already extensive package.

Reinhard looked forward to meeting the Autocrat. Not only could they discuss the economic and political relationship of their two nations, she was also bringing new ordnance for the Reich's military with her. Something she was sure her forces could put to good use.

That, and the other "relations" she would share with the Autocrat made the deal quite lucrative. While the scandal of the "video" was only just now slipping from the minds of the public, she had taken measures to ensure her private life would no longer be able to be idly hacked into, and her secrets exposed.

"At least this meeting was kept private," muttered the Lady Autocrat of the Militaristic Federation as she strode down the ramp that was rolled up to her aircraft with what dignity she could muster. Kurumi Hamazaki soundlessly descended down to the waiting entourage, her expression a perfect blank. As she passed Reinhard, she gave a forced smile and embrace, but the sight of the platinum statues lit the Autocrat's eyes with avarice. After a brief moment of mental calculation, Hamazaki estimated that each statue was worth at least six hundred thousand dollars in materials alone. They would prove to be most excellent display pieces when the Autocrat returned home, yet another a symbol of Hamazaki's wealth and power.

What Autocrat Hamazaki hoped for most of all was a return to Tyrandis with favorable trade terms. The livelihood of her country's arms manufacturing industry, and thus the economy as a whole, rode on her shoulders. But to gain these riches, I must become a tawdry whore thought Hamazaki, as she took her seat next to Stewardess Reinhard in the waiting limousine.

"At least this meeting was kept private," muttered the Lady Autocrat of the Militaristic Federation as she strode down the ramp that was rolled up to her aircraft with what dignity she could muster. Kurumi Hamazaki soundlessly descended down to the waiting entourage, her expression a perfect blank. As she passed Reinhard, she gave a forced smile and embrace, but the sight of the platinum statues lit the Autocrat's eyes with avarice. After a brief moment of mental calculation, Hamazaki estimated that each statue was worth at least six hundred thousand dollars in materials alone. They would prove to be most excellent display pieces when the Autocrat returned home, yet another a symbol of Hamazaki's wealth and power.

What Autocrat Hamazaki hoped for most of all was a return to Tyrandis with favorable trade terms. The livelihood of her country's arms manufacturing industry, and thus the economy as a whole, rode on her shoulders. But to gain these riches, I must become a tawdry whore thought Hamazaki, as she took her seat next to Stewardess Reinhard in the waiting limousine.

Isabella restrained a chuckle as Hamazaki climbed into the armored limo that would be their transport to the Reich-stag. She could tell that Hamazaki wasn't exactly pleased with her terms for their nations friendship.

She didn't let this bring her down, how ever. Isabella had dated several women back in College, and she was used to Hamazakis type. She would either come around or not. None the less, both of them would profit from these visits in the ways they both preferred. Reinhard, the sex, the missiles, and Hamazaki her statues made out of every fancy material known to man. The Security Agent closed the door gently behind Hamazaki, and the limo began it's short trek to the Reich stag. Isabella reached over and pulled a bottle of wine and two glasses from the built-in cooler. Popping the cork, she poured a glass for her self and one for Hamazaki, assuming she would accept.

"Wine?"

She asked with a polite gesture toward the Autocrat.

Hamazaki took the glass cooly, eyeing the Tocrowkian Stewardess as she pretended to sip at the alcohol. The Autocrat suspected the use of pharmaceuticals intended to put her in a disadvantage during negotiations; this was par for the course during similiar dealings in the Militaristic Federation. Although she could not taste anything particularly odd, nor noticed any change in Reinhard's disposition, Hamazaki continued to keep her guard up until they arrived at the Reichstag. The Lady Autocrat remained mute for most of the journey. Behind the poker face, however, she prepared the topics she would need to discuss - terms of embassy exchange, trade, political ties and, most unfortunately, Hamazaki's service in exchange for said agreements.

Hamazaki took the glass cooly, eyeing the Tocrowkian Stewardess as she pretended to sip at the alcohol. The Autocrat suspected the use of pharmaceuticals intended to put her in a disadvantage during negotiations; this was par for the course during similiar dealings in the Militaristic Federation. Although she could not taste anything particularly odd, nor noticed any change in Reinhard's disposition, Hamazaki continued to keep her guard up until they arrived at the Reichstag. The Lady Autocrat remained mute for most of the journey. Behind the poker face, however, she prepared the topics she would need to discuss - terms of embassy exchange, trade, political ties and, most unfortunately, Hamazaki's service in exchange for said agreements.

Reinhard also remained silent, studying the Autocrat. She was amused at how gingerly Hamazaki sipped at the wine. Had she suspected she had drugged it? Isabella was admittedly slight insulted if that thought passed through the Autocrat's head, as Isabella hardly needed the aid of drugs to help her negotiate.

Either way, Isabella was very excited and eager to get negations going, but more to end them so she could experience what would happen after said negotiations. The limo slowed to a halt in front of the Reichstag, and a Security Agent opened Hamazaki's door, and gestured for her to get out and head in.

Hamazaki took the hint and left the automobile, where she was duly escorted to the appropriate rooms in the building. After around an hour of dull, routine pleasantries that these sort of things tended to generate spontaeneously, the Lady Autocrat got down to business. When she finished delivering an utterly generic opening statement to the Tocrowkian delegation, she took out several manila envelopes that detailed the major concessions and privileges the Militaristic Federation wanted out of the talks.

"First and foremost," began Hamazaki, "is the issue of an embassy exchange between our two nations. Having reviewed the existing terms you enforce, Tyrandis regretfully says that these are intolerably strict. Of particular concern to us is the prohibition of underslung grenade launchers, and heavy weapons. For the safety of our ambassadors and foreign nationals, I implore you to grant our nation the right to maintain a security force with these absolutely critical pieces of equipment. Furthermore, Tyrandis would like clarifications on the restriction against explosives and military helicopters."

The Reich's Foreign Security Official was the one to speak up first.

"Our concern with under slung grenade launchers is not a lack of trust in the nations possessing the items, but one made out of concern for any eventualities that may occur. A Terrorist attempting to seize the Embassy, for example. And the same goes for explosives and heavy weaponry. If they were captured, any rescue mission could be thwarted, or at the very least, endure high casualties. I am told that, for some reason though, Her Grace will grant you special privileges no one else has...like the right to posses these weapons, plus right to have military gunships as your helicopters..."

Isabella gave a coy smile and a wink toward the Autocrat. Next to approach Hamazaki was a creepy looking General from the Red Army. He handed Hamazaki several documents detailing important locations within Blackhelm, they lay out of their capital, bunker locations, stuff like that.

"This is incase you want to bomb them...with anthrax or something....like that. Yeah...Anthrax."

Lady Autocrat Hamazaki returned Isabella's gesture with a smile of her own, though she winced from the knowledge that this generosity would be repaid in the Stewardess's bedroom later. Nonetheless, this did not deter Hamazaki from her other issues.

"I thank the Reich for its understanding in these matters. Now that the issue of embassy security has been tabled, I feel it is perhaps necessary to discuss the future of bilateral Tyrandis/Tocrowkia defense relations as a whole. As you well know, the Corporate Alliance is a nuisance and a threat to the international status quo. Their warmongering and incendiary rhetoric is a serious impediment to our business and diplomatic operations. As such, I would like to formally announce the Militaristic Federation's support in your offensive against the upstarts." Kurumi Hamazaki took the documents from the Red Army general with a nod, before handing him a folder with a order of battle. "This," explained the Autocrat, "is a list of all available Tyrandisan military assets. These will support your own armed service in every capacity available, whether this be in a support or combat role."

"Excellent, Exellent..."

The Red Army General muttered as he read the documents in stereotypical Russian/German Communist voice. As he did so, a younger, less stereotypical General, with medals indicating he was part of the Air Force approached.

"I do have one more request. We currently lack an effective force of Multi-Role fighters, due to my Governments focus on Air Superiority and Heavy Bombing. To somewhat fix that problem, I would like to purchase an additional 2,000 TAF-622 Sparrow's"

Hamazaki grinned. "Tyrandis will be honored to receive further business from our friends in the Tocrowkian Air Force; we will also authorize a discount of 10% in recognition of our de facto alliance. The final cost will be around two hundred and forty three billion dollars."

Hamazaki grinned. "Tyrandis will be honored to receive further business from our friends in the Tocrowkian Air Force; we will also authorize a discount of 10% in recognition of our de facto alliance. The final cost will be around two hundred and forty three billion dollars."

"Alright, thank you M'Lady. The Air Force will wire the money shortly." He said before stepping back. Isabella then came forward in front of the delegation. "Well, if there is nothing else, I would like to end this conference. I'm sure the Autocrat has more...important things to do, as do I. Am I right?" She asked, glancing at Hamazaki with a certain gleam in her eyes.

The smile disappeared from Lady Autocrat Hamazaki's face. "I do believe that this concludes the major issues of my visit this evening." She met the Stewardess with a painfully forced look of pleasure. "Excuse me as I must use the bathroom." Hamazaki headed off down a corridor to change into more... appropriate attire, and took several aphrodisiacs to ensure the success of her distasteful mission. Hamazaki had already been briefed by Isabella as to the location of their tryst, and duly she followed the instructions despite grave misgivings.

The smile disappeared from Lady Autocrat Hamazaki's face. "I do believe that this concludes the major issues of my visit this evening." She met the Stewardess with a painfully forced look of pleasure. "Excuse me as I must use the bathroom." Hamazaki headed off down a corridor to change into more... appropriate attire, and took several aphrodisiacs to ensure the success of her distasteful mission. Hamazaki had already been briefed by Isabella as to the location of their tryst, and duly she followed the instructions despite grave misgivings.

Isabella sat on the side of her bed within her quarters, having ordered the entire floor cleared of guards. The room was lit by hundreds, possibly thousands of perfume candles. Quite stereotypical, but it set the mood just fine. She left the door of the room open so Hamazaki could just walk right in when she was ready. Meanwhile, Reinhard continued to be amused by pure awesomeness of the deal.

Lesbian sex, and a good deal of arms...what's better?

She asked her self silently.

Hamazaki didn't remember much after she ingested the drugs. They were extremely potent, and had a nasty side-effect of inducing short term memory loss. The Lady Autocrat woke with a start after the night was over, her nude body covered with sweat. By then, the candles had burned out, although the smell still hung in the air. After getting dressed and leaving the Stewardess's chambers, Hamazaki met the rest of the Tyrandisan delegation to report her success. Soon enough, mulled the Autocrat over her morning coffee, this outrage will be made all the worthwhile...