NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: Please do not post OOC comments on the quality of this ship. I am aware of them. I am building it for IC reasons, because my people would ICly go for this kind of thing.

IC:

Somewhere in Haven, North Allanean Sea

The helicopter conducted another semi-circle in midair as it began to approach what appeared to be a small island of peculiar shape and color. President Alexander Kirillovich Kazansky eyed the island with some interest. “So, the Tiny is docked down there somewhere?”

The pilot turned around and looked at Kazansky. “Can’t you see it, Mr. President?”

“No… I guess it’s docked to that island, right?”

The pilot chuckled. “Island, Mr. President?”

Happily, Kazansky was wearing a light PA suit – a stylized and updated BDU-64 – for this visit, or his facial expression would have been truly insane as the realization dawned on him.

“That…”

“That, Mr. President, is the pride and joy of the Allanean Navy, the United States Ship Tiny” – replied the pilot as the helicopter began to descend.

* * *

Aboard the monster ship, on the runway, Grande Admiral Michelle Conway awaited the President. She saluted him and began speaking.

“Good day, Mr. President. Welcome aboard the Tiny, the biggest battleship in the world. Eighteen kilometers long, ten wide, it provides the Allanean Navy with unprecedented force projection capacities…”

“Yes, but how fast is it?”

The smile didn’t move from the Admiral’s face as she replied. “Five knots maximum, one point five knots cruising, Mr. President. I know it sounds slow, but you must understand…”

“I already understand that you guys need to be defunded.”

“Well, Sir, look at it this way…”

* * *

Four hours later, the President of Allanea was resting in a luxurious room somewhere on the immense ship and chuckled to himself. Yes, apparently the strategic capability of the ship would be limited – mainly by it’s speed, or more like the lack of said speed. However, he felt himself to be in agreement with the Admiral. It could still be useful.

He reached for his computer.

To:Open to all world leaders
From: Alexander Kirillovich Kazansky, President for Life of the United States of Allanea.

Dear friends!

I will not spend your time by elaboration. Simply, you are welcome to the opening party of the USS Tiny, the world’s biggest battleship to date. This will be conducted aboard the battleship itself, of course. Drinks, refreshments, and entertainment provided by us.

I will happily see you there.
Yours, Alex.

[FROM THE DESK OF ARCHON DONED HOPKINS]
[THE NONAGON, NEW SARIS, ARALONIA]

RE: Party!

Screw elaboration, I'm pissed and need a party. I'll be there tomorrow.


[signed with a flourish]

Archon Doned Hopkins

Nightbane was rather surprised when the invitation arrived. The invitation was personally addressed to him for one, he had no idea how the Allaneans had found his email address for another, and the Bryn Shanderans had been at odds with the Allaneans almost constantly for the past few hundred years. Only recently had the official Hermes blacklist been lifted from Allanea, and Nightbane's second in command had personally ordered the orbital bombardment of downtown Port Allanea during the One Day War.

Regardless of the reasons or how the Allaneans had found the address, the offer seemed legitimate enough. There was little reason to not attend the event even if the Allaneans were out of their minds for the most part and almost assuredly planning something completely absurd. There were likely to be large quantities of alcoholic drinks and loose women, after all.



To: Alexander Kazansky
From: Damien Nightbane

...I don't know how you got this address or what madness you have planned, but I suppose that I will attend none the less. If I can visit the lower planes as a tourist would visit Paris, a visit to Allanea can't be too horrifying. Don't bother with a security detail, I'm quite capable of taking care of myself.


In Darkness,
King Damien Nightbane

Commander Sarus, Commander of the diminutive but elite Imperial Navy Home Security Squadron, re-read the message again and glared out of the window as the harsh weather of the imperial winter battled against the porthole, then grinned. A chance to stretch his legs, "meet new people" (i.e. meet women) and have a good time. His first time out of the imperium not "on buisness" as well. He idly wondered why The Lord Admiral Himself had requested the Emperor sent him, true, he was a maveric; at 30 the youngest Admiral in the Imperiums short history, and also broadcast a good impression of the Imperiums citizens-growing up on his parents farm had left him with wide shoulders that complimented his 6'2" frame.

Anyway, sitting around in his cabin wasn't doing anything was it?

"Warrant Officer Harum, prepare my helicopter for transfer to INV Thor"

note: INV Thor is a Valhalla class off shore patrol vessel, similair in design to the current Royal Navy Castle Class.

From His Majesty's Admiralty

This is stupidity.

This is not a battleship, it is a floating island. If your people think you have any edge over the world naval powers, Allanea truly is a nation that we have lost all respect for. Furthermore, His Majesty's Ship Excellence, the offshore gunnery training and supply base is larger than the Tiny and moves with a maximum speed of 1.0345519 knots per hour. Therefore, we declare that your Tiny is not in fact a warship at all.

HM Admiralty does not relinquish its claim as HMS Hood (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=493695) and its sister ships as the largest warships afloat.

From His Majesty's Foreign Office

His Majesty's Foreign Office sees it fit to send the largest battleship in the world, HMS Hood, to meet with your new floating island. We will attach diplomatic personnel onboard.

OOC:As questers said, it seems a bit ridiculous. this is pretty ridiculous, this thing would turn in an ever increasing circle ;). And this thing could actually fit in an ocean? It seems a bit ridiculous not just for the fact that constructing it would be next to impossible.

IC:

A message to Alexander Kirillovich Kazansky, US of Allanea.

We find it ridiculous that you have constructed such a vessel and at what costs may we ask? we are sure for this cost we could have constructed several fleets and rearmed our army to some extent. However much of a waste of money we believe this is and how utterly pointless we will however send a small Naval Atache to see what the fuss is all about, and they will of course be flying in style onboard a modified PX-304 Torudi AWAC's aircraft, which will fly non-stop due to the wonder of A-A refueling. They will of course be escorted part way as much as possible.

[Signed]

Joint Chief of Staff Sir John Simpson
Deputy Foreign Minister Sir Issac Mills
Defence Minister J. Alders
Transport Minister P.P Wells

OOC: Again, I’m aware of the vessel’s disadn

Aboard the largest battleship in the world, the USS Tiny

“Hey, Mr. ‘Kay!” – shouted one of the women as the Liberty Networks helicopter touched down and began to unload on the deck of the enormous battleship. Kazansky smiled and ripped off his faceplate, displaying a grinning boyish face. Seconds later, he hugged both his wives. “Hello, babies! Okay, listen up, the Questarians will be here soon. I want the beer and the brandy to be on deck, okay? And crank up the bloody music! This is supposed to be a party! Oh, and is there anybody here that worships Helm and the other gods of that Pantheon? That person will go out and greet King Damien, I hear he’s bringing his own ship. And clear some runways for the other guests!”

April 3, 2260

Los Angeles, Los Angeles S.A.R., CSDSF.
President Jennifer Jourgensen scoffed when she read the reports of the 'World's Largest Battleship' "This thing is fucking ridiculous, not only is this thing impossible to hide, but it has no tactical advantage when it comes to speed. All twenty of the Californian Pacific Fleet's California Class Heavy Battleships (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/N222/California-ZeroOne/Californian_BBGN-70_Utah.gif) could sink this thing without any air support!"

April 3, 2260

[size=1]Los Angeles, Los Angeles S.A.R., CSDSF.[size]
President Jennifer Jourgensen scoffed when she read the reports of the 'World's Largest Battleship' "This thing is fucking ridiculous, not only is this thing impossible to hide, but it has no tactical advantage when it comes to speed. All twenty of the Californian Pacific Fleet's California Class Heavy Battleships (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v734/California_CSDSF/Californian_BBGN-70_Utah.gif) could sink this thing without any air support!"

OOC: He knows the disadvantages!

To-Alexander Kirillovich Kazansky, President for Life of the United States of Allanea.
From-Jason Mikoyan,Supreme Soviet Unified of the Union of Usean Socalist States.
Re-Party

We are not sure how to respond,and We wish to promote pease.I will be there.I will have to take a Helo to the UJS Iruossim,a Iowa Class battleship.We will Signal first.

From the Ministry of The Imperial Navy

Your Ship is nothing more then a Large Bullseye for Planes and two Shogun Class Grand battleships could sink it to the bottom of The sea and send It's Crew to Davy Jones Locker.

Empress Neherenia and Shogun Nadia also sends the message that they will not be comeing to you over sized Death Trap

OOC: Battleships are bullseyes for aircraft as well, they are completey useless for anything except making the people who paid for them feel good, and so are useless for any purpose except morale, right up to the point they get blown out of the water. They have no place in a modern navy. This was proven in world war II: Bismark, Hood, Tirpitz, Scharnhorst, Admiral Scheer, Yamato... (I know some of those were battlecruisers, but these are the first ones in my head) Nothing has changed since WWII when there rubbishness was proven. He did say he knew the ship wasn't exactly a good idea.

OOC: Battleships are bullseyes for aircraft as well, they are completey useless for anything except making the people who paid for them feel good, and so are useless for any purpose except morale, right up to the point they get blown out of the water. They have no place in a modern navy. This was proven in world war II: Bismark, Hood, Tirpitz, Scharnhorst, Admiral Scheer, Yamato... (I know some of those were battlecruisers, but these are the first ones in my head) Nothing has changed since WWII when there rubbishness was proven. He did say he knew the ship wasn't exactly a good idea.

OOC: Modern maybe not, they seem to be used to fairly good use post modern though.

OOC: I wouldn't know, but I'm not gonna debate it.

IC: Sarus leaned back agaisnt the chair on INV Thors' bridge and watched as the water poured down its windows, the OOWs eyes were fixed on the wharf whilst the Rating carefully maneuvered the vessel closer to it, until other ratings secured the vessel to the bollards. After the OOW had retuned his salute, Sarus pulled his issue cap onto his head, the double headed eagle gleaming from the ruddy light of the controls, pulled his greatcoat around himself and opened the door of the bridge. After scrabbling his way up to the quayside, cursing the rain, the tide being out, and everything between him and the AS 555 Fennec which would transfer him and Lieutenant Skuld to the floating island type thing where, and he hoped it was true, it was sunny.

Mafia Intelligence HQ

"So the world's largest ship, a 200 square kilometre monstrosity."

"Utterly useless for anything except as a penis-surrogate."

"Remember the Compensator-class Gunboat that mounted a dual 800mm GustavX gun?"

"It was a single mount, they couldn't mount two, and it had two hulls and was filled with reactors, armour, and countermeasures."

"If anything, it'll scare the fuck out of whomever gets near it, it will be nearly impossible to destroy."

"Interesting, but our priority rests with Project Codex, or whatever the hell the Office of Naval Intelligence is up to."

"They are working with the Air and Space forces."

"Forget it, send a 'corporate' visitor and scout it out a bit, they'll report back with what they saw inside and outside, a perspective our satellites can't deliver."

"Aye."

Encrypted Transmission from General Resources to Liberty Networks

I'm sure you remember our business, and securing an exclusive contract to operate in Leafanistan as the only foreign telephone company, we wish for an invitation to this party aboard the appropriately named 'Tiny'.

We want to send:

Delegate Stephanie Achurac, currently a board member in GR and her private security detail of two bodyguards.

Thank you in advance,
Stephanie Achurac.

[END]

tag for later

OOC: Hataria- You've already posted and your not supposed to tag i believe, use the subscribe button instead or so i think i read. Just a reminder for your old post.

IC:

Sir John Simpson chuckled to himself; from everything he had heard from other nations, both on and off the record, it seemed the "ship" wasn't going down too well. To his mind it was rather like using zepplins to fight air battles, it was something that some nations seemed to do but completely pointless, they were so slow and bulky they were easy targets for every type of weapon up to a cruise missile in some cases.

However immobile such a ship would be (he highly doubted it would be able to come close to many of the states within Greater Dienstad for example) it was a great behemoth, which must have a draught greater than possibly immaginable, so much so that it would be pretty hard to turn in such a way that not of the ship hit the ocean floor.

It was also a great wonder how it had been constructed...maybe it was actually an island, clad in Iron and some massive weapons and then they blew it from the crust of the earth and now it just floated. Either way it seemed impressive but pointless, it would be just too easy to ignore it and dart around it to attack their nation.

"Captain! Get the Navy Air Corp on the line! I want the fastest plane they have available and the fuelers ready to take it, its to fly to this great island ship and take a naval intelligence officer to check things out, see what its decked out in and estimate a few numbers, check it really is what they say and not just a floating heap of scrap metal!"

"Yesah!" Came the short and to the point repply.

Soon John would be flying high in the sky winging his way to this ship, low key to watch how things went and see what the massive fuss and expense was for...

To the nation of Allanea.
Imperial isa will not be caming to the launching of your ship.
But good luck with it.
Form nation of Imperial ISA

OOC can same one tell me what subscribe button

OOC can same one tell me what subscribe button

OOC: Thread tools at the top of the page, click on it, third one down, or, seeing as you've posted already, it'l be subscribbed, if so don't unsubscrube, just check your user CP and it should be listed if there are any new posts, although im not sure how good it is always...sceptical here.

Back on task...

Any chances that figures for weapons etc and armour will be given out? Im pretty sure it must be pretty impressive, kind of thing that could withsatand a nuclear bomb of a few kilo tons ;). anyway, i look foward to some estimates or the like and crew sizes(i'll Rp me estimating it lol) some time in the future if you are doing so.

To The Allanean Naval Developement Team,

We fail to see the reasoning behind classifying your vessel as a warship, and find the title "Mobile Naval Fortress" a much more accurate statement. Thus, we do not reliquish our claim for largest warship afloat to the Fleet Command Ship ICS Kraken, which is an actual ship rather than a floating forward deployment outpost. Perhaps you should better think your classifications next time, before you begin claiming a title like this.

Sincerely,

Grande Admiral Isoruku Yamamoto III
Captain, ICS Kraken
Grande Admiral, Imperial Court's Navy

Response from the United States Navy to Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto

Dear Sir!

Every nation has it’s own set of definition for what is a squad, platoon, regiment, and brigade, a cruiser or a battleship. In the Allanean navy, if it moves under it’s own power, it’s a ship.

Yours,
G. N. Birsky, Ph.D.

Response from the United States Navy to Stephanie Achurac

Dear Ms. Achurac!

We arranged for your invitation toward the USS Tiny and participation in the party onboard said ship. A Navy aircraft will arrive to take you towards the Tiny. As usual, we take care of everything.

Yours,
Moshe Kimhi, Captain, First Class

Response from the United States Navy to the Questarian Admiralty

So you have your ships’ speed figured out down to fractions of a millimeter per hour? That’s sweet. Can you please share the technology you used to do that?

Aboard the Tiny

All was ready. Kazansky was sitting on one of the flight decks in a recliner seat, a cocktail in his hand, as aircraft carrying foreign leaders began to arrive. He smiled as the Equirean and Usea-Jasonian airact as they landed, and chuckled.

“Radio Nightbane and tell him I have a special present for him. Let the party begin.”

OOC-I was comming by ship.and were called "Useans"

--Nearing the Tiny--
The Iowa Class Battleship hailed and was aloued to aproch.The Sear size,even compared to the Largest ship in Usea's navy.

"That thing probably has it's own port..."Said SSu Mikoyan.

Brettonian Hardened Command Center

"How can it even move!?"

"Ridiculous, this has to be a decoy of some sorts. There's just no way..."

"There must be an entire fleet, no, an entire navy worth of men and materials in that monstrosity."

"What kind of mind-altering substance would you have to be on to think this was a good idea?"

A handful of Brettonian flag officers looked on in bafflement as a massive LCD monitor, dominating the rear wall of the command center, displayed a continually updated satellite feed of the Allanean behemoth. Aircraft of varying makes, tiny specks in comparison, buzzed around it.

Twin automatic doors slid open, and the sound of boots on steel echoed through the cavernous chamber. The guards at the door, technicians at their stations, and NCOs going about their business all halted and saluted as sharply as they've ever done at the newcomers.

General Lütjens, the most senior and stuffiest of the assembled brass, whipped around to face the intruders.

"This is a maximum security area! What do you think you're..." he trailed off.

"Doing here?" Chancellor Donner inquired, cocking an eyebrow. The fresh snow on the shoulders of his and his son's coat was beginning to melt. "I recieved a report from Military Intelligence earlier. Explicit directions that I should investigate at first opportunity. Somehow, I figured my top commanders would have been aware of that..."

"But..." Lütjens began rapidly backing off. "Military Intelligence sent you a report?! We had just recieved this data here," he gestured to the monitor, "earlier today! Our report isn't even finalized yet!"

"Bastards, they discovered it before us and didn't even bother to share that information!" General Breyer snapped. "It's just like them, going out of their way to make us look bad!" Albert snorted.

"Well, they certainly did a good job of it," he muttered.

"Save it for later," Donner said flatly. "I'm here, and that's all that matters. Now, about this... thing."

"Yes, well," Lütjens cleared his throat. "As I said, we haven't finalized our report, but tere are plenty of options available to us as of the moment."

"Yes, about those options..." Donner began.

The radio message never arrived. After a while, it became clear why.

Far off on the horizon, a large blue sail was spotted. Squarely in the center was the national ensign of Bryn Shander. As hours passed, the sail drew closer and a ship grew larger in Kazansky's binoculars. It was a small wooden sailing ship, a sloop by all estimates. As the ship came closer still, a line of eight black cannons could be made out along one side. Men worked on the deck and high in the rigging of the single tall mast. Another hour passed, and Kazansky could make out the ship's name painted on the black hull. It read "The Demon's Kiss".

After a bit more time, the sloop reached and pulled up along side the battleship, the crew tossing heavy lines over to the larger ship. After mooring, the crew transferred onto Tiny. Each crew member was decked out like a stereotypical pirate, complete with a belt full of flintlock pistols and knives. Rounding off the ensemble was generally a sword of various make. It would seem that these were second year Naval conscripts.

Following after the crew was a single person, dressed in a simple black tunic, boots, and gloves. The buckles of his belt and boots were made of polished mithiril, while the supple links of a fine mithiril shirt shone from beneath the tunic. On his head, crowning his silver hair, was a fine mithiril circlet, an obsidian jewel planted in the center and flanked on either side by an expertly cut amethyst. On his belt was a black broadsword with a faint tinge of blue to the metal. Anyone familiar with exotic metals could tell that it was adamantine. On his back, supported by a black leather baldric, was a larger sword, also made of adamantine. However, this one was tinged with red. Also on his belt was a black mace, seemingly made of the same material. However, the mace was tinged with silver. A pair of jeweled daggers of polished steel were stuck in his boots, with a matching pair on the back of his belt.

The man walked with an air of power, while the light seemed to dim around him. There could be no doubt that this was the king of Bryn Shander.

The King of Bryn Shander was popular in the United States, even as relations with his nation seemed to be on and off. It seemed that while relations with Auman, Bryn Shander, and other nations could go up and down, the shine of Sheik Navarrone, Balthasar Marduk, and King Damien would never dim. And Kazansky banked on it – because the ship had the entire Liberty-City Nightbane Fan Club aboard.

The President-for-Life chuckled as young ladies of the 16-19 age group flocked around the dignitary. “Hello Damien! I am sorry about the recent discomfort. Senate and Congress decided it, not me. Want beer? Wine? Pure alcohol with extra supercaf in it?”

He tossed the king a bottle. “Catch! Like the boat, by the way?”