NationStates Jolt Archive

Since alot of people were complaining that our current Foreign was "Too rude" and "A jackass", we regrettably fired him and set out to find a new one. We searched high and low, but it was a nerdy teen-aged boy that recommend our new one. Having seen his exploits on TV, the Reich sat out to find this man and offer him the job. Despite strong protests within the Government, we entered negotiations with him, and after several tedious hours, he agreed. And thusly, we present our new Foreign Minister, Ali G!

http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/5751/alig1024x768ll2.th.jpg (http://img178.imageshack.us/my.php?image=alig1024x768ll2.jpg)

In a statement read to the Interior Ministry, Ali G had this to say

"I's been given this job to approve our foreign relations with da' foreign world, like communist China and their neighbor Indiana. I know's Tocrowkia been' gettin' alot of negative press from da rest of teh world for it's abusing of rights, but I'm gonna try and fix that so we can' all be homies."

The new Foreign minister is also taking questions from other nations for twenty four hours only, and will also respond to comments.

"What is your opinion on the explicit video starring your Stewardess?"

"Sir, will Borat appear during your job as the Foreign Minister, and if so, how will his apperance interfere on your duties? Do you think his presence will have a positive or negative effect on the job?" A journalist from Aftenposten asked the new Foreign Minister.

"What is your opinion on the explicit video starring your Stewardess?"

"I think if ladiez wantin' to be tryin' feminism, dats good. I's say it's even better if they be recordin' them selves doin' so,

Respek."

Ali G

"Sir, will Borat appear during your job as the Foreign Minister, and if so, how will his apperance interfere on your duties? Do you think his presence will have a positive or negative effect on the job?" A journalist from Aftenposten asked the new Foreign Minister.

"Of course Borat will be appearin' during my new job! It wouln't be bein' the same without him. He is gonna' be bein' my secretiral...organizer. He won't be interferin' in any shape or way or form, cuz' he be diggin' it here...for the most part. I just have to keep him from findin' out our boss is a bitch, er, I's mean chick."


Ali Gi. Respeck.

All of a sudden a random white (of course) rapper came out of the audience.

"Man! Yo mom is fat and your rhyme is wack the last time you rapped you gave the population a mass heart attack. Oh by the way I got somethin' to say, yer sexuality is gay and I had sex with your sister in Tuesday!"

Another rapper came out of the group. "Oh snap!!!"

The rapper raised his arms in triumph. "That's how I roll! And Ali ain't got nothin' on me!"

All of a sudden a random white (of course) rapper came out of the audience.

"Man! Yo mom is fat and your rhyme is wack the last time you rapped you gave the population a mass heart attack. Oh by the way I got somethin' to say, yer sexuality is gay and I had sex with your sister in Tuesday!"

Another rapper came out of the group. "Oh snap!!!"

The rapper raised his arms in triumph. "That's how I roll! And Ali ain't got nothin' on me!"

Upon seeing this, Ali G's eyes went wide.

"Yo'! Who you be thinkin' you are, bustin' on up in here, layin' da insults? You'z be best gettin' out of here, unless you wantin' to be shot by me!"

Ali G

A man in a pinstripe suit wearing a 1940's styled newsman hat, with a large, flash-bulb camera hanging from his neck, stood up, and waved a video tape.

"Sir, sir! Mer des Ennuis Daily Press, how do you respond to this video of yourself snorting cocaine off of a dead hooker's ass?"

A man in a pinstripe suit wearing a 1940's styled newsman hat, with a large, flash-bulb camera hanging from his neck, stood up, and waved a video tape.

"Sir, sir! Mer des Ennuis Daily Press, how do you respond to this video of yourself snorting cocaine off of a dead hooker's ass?"

"I's ack-knowledge I was dere dat tonight...with dat hooker....with that coke and I ack-nowledge snortin' it off er' bum. But as for da video showin' me with tat hooker dat night...it's not me. I's have an alla-bye for dat night."

Ali G. Respeck.

A man in a black trench coat stood up and yelled accross the room.

"sir we have a report here saying that you are a major player in several major terrorist organizations some of which have made threats aginst rotten bacon and trowkia. also we have information here saying you stole 3 million dollars form the trowkian goverment. we have pictures of you in the building where you stole the money. satalite images of you walking down the street with a group of people with the money and pictures of you inside the bank where you deposited the money in the account of a random prostitute. in all these pictures we where able to use iris verifactions to prove that it was you." what do you say to that"

A shorter man in a black busniess suit stood on his chair and asked:

" Sir, mister ALi G, With the world falling deeper into war and with Magacorps taking aim at those who least expect it. How are you protecting your people from them?"

A man in a black trench coat stood up and yelled accross the room.

"sir we have a report here saying that you are a major player in several major terrorist organizations some of which have made threats aginst rotten bacon and trowkia. also we have information here saying you stole 3 million dollars form the trowkian goverment. we have pictures of you in the building where you stole the money. satalite images of you walking down the street with a group of people with the money and pictures of you inside the bank where you deposited the money in the account of a random prostitute. in all these pictures we where able to use iris verifactions to prove that it was you." what do you say to that"

"These simply be more false allegations against Ali G! I's always pay my taxes so da RTS have no reason ta be goin' after me. Sides'. I also deny da other allegations being involved with terrefic groups."

Ali G.

No Respek.

A shorter man in a black busniess suit stood on his chair and asked:

" Sir, mister ALi G, With the world falling deeper into war and with Magacorps taking aim at those who least expect it. How are you protecting your people from them?"

Three words mofo. Nuclear-feckin-weapons.

Ali G.

Respeck.

Three words mofo. Nuclear-feckin-weapons.

Ali G.

Respeck.


The man speaks again:

" Sir. You say this even though the use of Nuclear weapons would endanger the lives of many people who are caught in the crossfire. Many people who are just trying to ecsape thier wrath.... Do you have a plan of action if and when they do land on your shores?"

The man speaks again:

" Sir. You say this even though the use of Nuclear weapons would endanger the lives of many people who are caught in the crossfire. Many people who are just trying to ecsape thier wrath.... Do you have a plan of action if and when they do land on your shores?"

"You see homie, we'z here in Tocrowkia I be informed, we maintain a policy of "deterrence", what-eveh that means. But the honkies in the Ministry of Defense be tellin' me that we are reservin' a right to respond teh any attack on our...territory with nuclear weapons, and doh' they ack-knowledge that there most likely will be a major loss of non com-bat-tant lives, it will save even more than it be costin'."

Ali G,

Respeck.

"You see homie, we'z here in Tocrowkia I be informed, we maintain a policy of "deterrence", what-eveh that means. But the honkies in the Ministry of Defense be tellin' me that we are reservin' a right to respond teh any attack on our...territory with nuclear weapons, and doh' they ack-knowledge that there most likely will be a major loss of non com-bat-tant lives, it will save even more than it be costin'."

Ali G,

Respeck.

"With Some Corprations located in many different location ans nations the death toll could hit the millions. And the possible luanch of counter attacks... how many nuclear weapons do you have?"

"With Some Corprations located in many different location ans nations the death toll could hit the millions. And the possible luanch of counter attacks... how many nuclear weapons do you have?"

"We'z be meanin' a strike on our near Tocrowkian territory, not da territory of da invadin' army. As for the exact numba', I don't know. They tell me dat's classified info."

After Ali G finished, the man could see a man in a conservative business suit press his hand against his ear and speak into it, though the words were not audible. A few seconds later, a pair of Gestapo S.S. guards walked casually into the room. The man nodded at them, and pointed directly at the foreigner that had been asking all the questions. The S.S. guards, one male and one female approached him politely.

"Sir, you'll have to come with us."

Said the female in a polite, yet eerie voice.

" Of course. I have nothinhg to hide. And If I have asked questions that are of Senstive nature I apologize." said the man as he got off his chair and walked over to the guard.

He looked the room and the two people over and awaited thier instructions

" Of course. I have nothinhg to hide. And If I have asked questions that are of Senstive nature I apologize." said the man as he got off his chair and walked over to the guard.

He looked the room and the two people over and awaited thier instructions

The guards led him to an integration room installed in building designed for this very purpose. The room was white tiled and bright beyond belief and the only objects in the room was a table, and three chairs, one sitting at the opposite of the other two.

"Have a seat, sir."

The male said, closing the door behind them.

The man felt for the chiar and sat down. The bright lights in the room made it had for him to see. His transistion lenses on his glasses turned dark and gave some comfort to his sore eyes. He could only wonder what was to happen next. His mind wondered with what thing await for him later....

" May I inqure as to why I have been taken here?" asked the man as he adjusted his posture....

The man felt for the chiar and sat down. The bright lights in the room made it had for him to see. His transistion lenses on his glasses turned dark and gave some comfort to his sore eyes. He could only wonder what was to happen next. His mind wondered with what thing await for him later....

" May I inqure as to why I have been taken here?" asked the man as he adjusted his posture....

The woman took a seat while the man paced around the room. The woman was the first to speak.

"You said it your self, sir. You've been asking questions of sensitive nature..."

She trailed off and allowed her partner to continue.

"You seemed particularly interested in the possibility of a 'Mega corporation' invasion of our nation, and what we would do in response to such a thing. So tell us, sir, were these questions out of mere curiosity, or do you have alternative motives? Also, just where do you come from?"

The man looked around the room again and looked the girl in the eye.

" I ask these questions on the behalf of Raven corps. I suspect that you still have fresh memories of the Kraven Corporation.... You thought that they where bad... Raven corps is worst... Much worse. Raven corps no longer operates like a normal Company. they boost profits by absorbing all valuable assets of nations that they invade and control. National treasuries, shipping docks... Humans... Even the soils natural nutriants. They can take a raineforest and turn it into a flat wasteland in days. Men are taken to Converstion labs and forced to serve the Company. Women are taken away and used for forced Labor... Alot like Kraven but the Embryos are geneticly altered to produce more then one child at a time. The Soldiers that are produced are skinned and placed armor in installed. The fresh exposed body fuses with the Armor making them soldiers for life. On the outside the company is normal, but its what they do in the shadows is what scares me.

As for your other question, I am a citizen of Xantias. And an Informant for Weapons-tech incorp. I am trying to see if nations have an plan incase something happens. " said the man

The man looked around the room again and looked the girl in the eye.

" I ask these questions on the behalf of Raven corps. I suspect that you still have fresh memories of the Kraven Corporation.... You thought that they where bad... Raven corps is worst... Much worse. Raven corps no longer operates like a normal Company. they boost profits by absorbing all valuable assets of nations that they invade and control. National treasuries, shipping docks... Humans... Even the soils natural nutriants. They can take a raineforest and turn it into a flat wasteland in days. Men are taken to Converstion labs and forced to serve the Company. Women are taken away and used for forced Labor... Alot like Kraven but the Embryos are geneticly altered to produce more then one child at a time. The Soldiers that are produced are skinned and placed armor in installed. The fresh exposed body fuses with the Armor making them soldiers for life. On the outside the company is normal, but its what they do in the shadows is what scares me.

As for your other question, I am a citizen of Xantias. And an Informant for Weapons-tech incorp. I am trying to see if nations have an plan incase something happens. " said the man

While the girl took in everything that Xantias had just said, the man replied instantly.

"Well, you've heard our plan. The Reich maintains the sovereign right of any nation to defend against an attack by any means possible. As our Foreign Minister stated, that means the use of tactical nuclear weapons against any invading force. I'd imagine that would put a considerable dent in Raven Corps plans, wouldn't it?"

" My nation attacked them with tactical nukes too. And we still fell to them. they launch in a way that they hit atleast four location at one time in a mass co-ordinated strike. They land with swift. ( memory of his beach twon during an attack before they fell, missile raining down from the sky, fires that raged and the Orcas that had the sound of demons). They land fast and move quickly. They move in such fliud motions that it makes them looks like they where executing a cooreograghed (SP) dance. They are emotionless and clod. they have one mind set. Serve... SO if you think that nuking you lands will stop them... you have little or no chance against them." said the man as he looked at the table as a single tear left down.

" I hope you see what your doing to you people... But I guess nuking them is better then having then turn around and fight your own. A far beter fate to die fast.."

" My nation attacked them with tactical nukes too. And we still fell to them. they launch in a way that they hit atleast four location at one time in a mass co-ordinated strike. They land with swift. ( memory of his beach twon during an attack before they fell, missile raining down from the sky, fires that raged and the Orcas that had the sound of demons). They land fast and move quickly. They move in such fliud motions that it makes them looks like they where executing a cooreograghed (SP) dance. They are emotionless and clod. they have one mind set. Serve... SO if you think that nuking you lands will stop them... you have little or no chance against them." said the man as he looked at the table as a single tear left down.

" I hope you see what your doing to you people... But I guess nuking them is better then having then turn around and fight your own. A far beter fate to die fast.."

The man chuckled.

"Alright, you do know that the only area they could possibly land an invasion is in the eastern half, where over half of our military is concentrated? And never mind our Navy, which is almost five thousand ships strong, including twelve Super Dreadnoughts, and have you heard of the T.R.S. Imperator? How do they plan on getting through that? Not to mention we have Ali G."

He asked, chuckling again. The girl was now free to speak.

"Are you saying Raven Corps has solid plans to invade the Tocrowkian Reich?"

The man looked up and nodded "NO". And said

" NO, they have plans to invade everyone. ( looking at the man,,)

You have 5,000 ships and 12 Dreadnuaghts.... You think thats something. Everyday they create more ships that can turn your navy into deep sea scrape.... Their Arsenal ships... Thats what they use... Able to fire thousands of missiles from long range and have them drop right on top of your ships. And the ships are cheap to make. Mainly the ship is automatic and a skeleton crew is thier to make sure that the ship is working... They also have Other "weapons" that are not as hurt by nuclear weapons. "

The man only looked at the table....

The man looked up and nodded "NO". And said

" NO, they have plans to invade everyone. ( looking at the man,,)

You have 5,000 ships and 12 Dreadnuaghts.... You think thats something. Everyday they create more ships that can turn your navy into deep sea scrape.... Their Arsenal ships... Thats what they use... Able to fire thousands of missiles from long range and have them drop right on top of your ships. And the ships are cheap to make. Mainly the ship is automatic and a skeleton crew is thier to make sure that the ship is working... They also have Other "weapons" that are not as hurt by nuclear weapons. "

The man only looked at the table....

"I guess you haven't heard of our pin-point laser defenses on our ships. In a recent conflict, they destroyed over 1,000 cruiser missiles in a little more than twenty seconds."

The man said with a shrug.

"That aside, we thank you for the information. We will now be able to prepare our forces in order to defend against this threat. You will be placed in protective custody until further notice."

The girl finished, getting up.

"Do you have anything else to say?"

" Yes, I do have something to say...I am sorry.." the man fell flat on his face and blood came from his eyes and mouth. and the back of the mans head began to crack open. Tiny legs came from his skull and soon the creature* was out. And quickly made a move for the mans head.


*http://ucguides.savagehelp.com/Doom3/images/monster_trite.jpg

The two highly trained officers quickly drew their sidearms, which were 45.ACP handguns with armor piercing rounds, and deftly handled the situation by blowing the spider-thing the hell away.

The creatures blood spatter that hit the walls began to act as acid. anything with the blood on it began to dissolve. The cell phone of the man bagn to ring....

Both of the officers managed to avoid the blood splatters, while the girl made a dash for the man's cellphone. After retrieving it, she quickly answered it.

"Hello?"

Upon seeing this, Ali G's eyes went wide.

"Yo'! Who you be thinkin' you are, bustin' on up in here, layin' da insults? You'z be best gettin' out of here, unless you wantin' to be shot by me!"

Ali G

The rapper bounced around. "Nigga please! Man, suck yo mama! That's right! If yous a thug you fight me man!"

A voice came over the phone....

" Hello my name is Harvey Markum I am with the man you have laying dead. He is an inside guy in the Raven corps military sec. I am also a former general of the Security of Raven corps... We need to talk." said the voice on the phone

A voice came over the phone....

" Hello my name is Harvey Markum I am with the man you have laying dead. He is an inside guy in the Raven corps military sec. I am also a former general of the Security of Raven corps... We need to talk." said the voice on the phone

Suddenly, Ali G burst into the room after hearing the gunshots, a look of utter RAGE on his face. He shot the dead spider several more times, and grabbed the phone out of her hand.

"YO! Yo' mofo! Who is dis'?"

OCC: a little late but i had to ask

IC:

"How do you respond to rports that your were killed by Jamie Kennedy on an underground fighting group called Celebrity Deathmatch?"