NationStates Jolt Archive

The newly formed Empire of Croneybones in the Lexicon would like to take this opportunity to publicly and verbally defecate on any nation who opposes the beliefs, thoughts and religion of this great Empire. :upyours:

We, The Empire of Croneybones do hereby announce New business as such:

1. The Empire of Croneybones has applied to join the United Nations and become an active member.

2. As such, the responsibility of being a U.N. member carries a great burden, which we will prepare to carry militarily. To enforce this, we will immediately begin research and development of Nuclear Energy to be used for civillian and primarily military purposes.

Any objections to either of these proposals should be rethought, and unsubmitted, as your arguments will fall upon deaf ears.

If only I were Imperialistic... if only.

1. Good for you.
2. A nation your size probably does not have the moolah to afford nukes as of yet.

Not a good way to start...*cocks AK*

Encryption: None
To: Croneybones
From: New Aeson

We will be happy to provide you with refined uranium, and to teach you to produce the refining equipment, in return for military bases in your nation.

Croneybones']The newly formed Empire of Croneybones in the Lexicon would like to take this opportunity to publicly and verbally defecate on any nation who opposes the beliefs, thoughts and religion of this great Empire. :upyours:

We, The Empire of Croneybones do hereby announce New business as such:

1. The Empire of Croneybones has applied to join the United Nations and become an active member.

2. As such, the responsibility of being a U.N. member carries a great burden, which we will prepare to carry militarily. To enforce this, we will immediately begin research and development of Nuclear Energy to be used for civillian and primarily military purposes.

Any objections to either of these proposals should be rethought, and unsubmitted, as your arguments will fall upon deaf ears.
ooc: "Besmirches?" Well this thread certainly had that effect..(ie brought a grin to my face, that was one funny typo, if that's the case:D )

ic:
1: We care not for the UN, so joining them, or not, is none of our concern.

2: Use those against us, or a ally, and prepare to face the consequences.
-Carbandian foreign minister Bondarenko

OOC: Well, Croneybones. Congrats on announcing your lack of cognitive capacity to everyone. If you want to keep this going I can log on my MT nation and flatten you. Hell, my current regime is church-controlled and would love to distract the population from how messed up things are by goign out ot convert the heathens.

OFFICIAL IMPERIAL PROCLIMATION
TO: The Empire of Croneybones
FROM: George A. Loak, Supreme Emperor of the Dark Empire of Shazbotdom

We laugh at your attempt to threaten us. We do not care about your beliefs. The development of Nuclear Weaponry, as noble a cause as it is, will put your puny little nation in debt more than the old United States was under the reign of George W. Bush. We feel that your pathetic nation should wait a while before you create WMD's.

And while we are a part of the United Nations we should remind you. You NEED to follow all UN Resolutions past and present. If i were you, i would read over all the Past UN Resolutions and become familiar with them. They are your laws now and you shall follow them.

The Empire of 1010102 fires its brand new poo missile (Its a saturn 5 rocket attached to a giant flamming bag which holds 20 tons of poop.) at The Empire of Croneybones. When asked by the press,"Why?" The Dictator answered,"Why? I had it done so when they try to stomp on to put it out they're shoe will be full of poop."

The Empire of 1010102 fires its brand new poo missile (Its a saturn 5 rocket attached to a giant flamming bag which holds 20 tons of poop.) at The Empire of Croneybones. When asked by the press,"Why?" The Dictator answered,"Why? I had it done so when they try to stomp on to put it out they're shoe will be full of poop."

OOC: ROFL. I offer congratulations to 1010102 for being the first person to make me use internet abbreviations in my life. However, I did in fact roll away from my laptop laughing.

OOC: ROFL. I offer congratulations to 1010102 for being the first person to make me use internet abbreviations in my life. However, I did in fact roll away from my laptop laughing.

OCC: thank you.(Bows and falls over laughing at his own joke.)

The Empire of 1010102 fires its brand new poo missile (Its a saturn 5 rocket attached to a giant flamming bag which holds 20 tons of poop.) at The Empire of Croneybones. When asked by the press,"Why?" The Dictator answered,"Why? I had it done so when they try to stomp on to put it out they're shoe will be full of poop."

CNN...Croneybones News Network
The Cronus News Network has just issued this response to Emporer 1010102 reguarding remarks made earlier...

Cronus, Emporer of Croneybones, scoffs at your snide remarks, and would like to remind any nation that participates in any "poo" launching shall be dealt with quickly and severely. He has been quoted saying "We are prepared to deal with such infidelity. The military has already devised devices to stomp out the flaming feces, and our TurdPong-2 long range missiles have been fitted with depleted urine warheads and are prepared to launch a counter attack at my command."

May your head fall through your asshole and break your fucking neck.

I fart in your general direction.

So there.

OOC: Alright, you've managed to regain a measure of my respect by taking that in good humor...sorry, I was distracted by the thought of ice cream. Seriously though, avoid the FU smiley, and don't try to deliberately antagonize the rest of NS. Usually the best approach is the factbook or "Hey, this is me and associated information" or the insta-diplo thread where you say why your country is just now moving to the international stage and mention embassies and/or international relations.

To: Emperor Cronus of Croneybones
From: Mr. White, foreign affairs officer
Subject: Wasted Paper
Message: The Dominion of Emperor Pudu would simply like to extend to you a message, including within a small measure of the contempt they hold against you and all who are similar.

In response to the decleration made by yourself, we reply.

1) It is of no interest to ourselves nor any other of the international community what you're policies regarding that defenct league of nations is.

2) If you insist on waving nuclear weapons in our direction we will have no choice but to flatten you, we've done it before and you will be nothing but another simple operation.

I hope this brings you into the international stage as you may have hoped.

Good day,
Mr. White

Secret IC (Means you can't see it happening):
The Shazbotdom Marine Corps was en route to the little nation of Croneybones in a show of force. They would not let the empire be threatened by some little nation vying for world domination. The USS Shazbot was one of the ships that was en route to the shores of the Pitiful nation of Croneybones.

Colonel Jack Anderson was in charge of the Marine Division that would assault Croneybones. He was determined to take out these damned bastards once and for all.

The fleet left Shazbotdom Territorial Waters roughly 2 hours ago and would reach their destination in 2 days...

Croneybones']CNN...Croneybones News Network
The Cronus News Network has just issued this response to Emporer 1010102 reguarding remarks made earlier...

Cronus, Emporer of Croneybones, scoffs at your snide remarks, and would like to remind any nation that participates in any "poo" launching shall be dealt with quickly and severely. He has been quoted saying "We are prepared to deal with such infidelity. The military has already devised devices to stomp out the flaming feces, and our TurdPong-2 long range missiles have been fitted with depleted urine warheads and are prepared to launch a counter attack at my command."


OCC: you using turdpong-2s? very retro. i use turdpong 12s. i have a new turdpong 13 in devlopment that can carry 100 tons of poo. it has a 2 ton bomb that will blast the poo over a large area.

IC the new turdpong 13 luanched and detonated 100,000 meters over The Empire of Croneybones.

Secret IC (Means you can't see it happening):
The Shazbotdom Marine Corps was en route to the little nation of Croneybones in a show of force. They would not let the empire be threatened by some little nation vying for world domination. The USS Shazbot was one of the ships that was en route to the shores of the Pitiful nation of Croneybones....

OCC: i would stay away from him. he is about to be covered in 100 tons of human feces.

Secret IC (YOU CAN'T SEE ME)
To: Shazbotdom
From: Granate High Command

Since this nation is obviously a militant power. We should invade and end his warmongering ways. The Republic will not stand by while idle threats are made to the Nations of the World. A good force from both our nations would be quite sufficient enought to end his ways.

Even if his nation is a little pooey...

OCC: I lol'd seriously.

Sincerely
Granatian High Command.

Memo: To all who view EOC's announcement as a threat
From:Emporer Cronus

Message: I, Emporer Cronus, emplore you to re-read the memo issued earler. EOC has not threatened anyone, nor have we announced plans for world domination.

The memo was an announcement of our intentions to join the UN, and to build a stronger, more versatile military capable of backing UN decisions, and defending ourselves.

The very fact that our world leaders would so soon jump to such a conclusion truly tarnishes our citizens' views of the world.
I would like to think that we do not live amongst war-mongers who would rather bring death and terror upon a quiet civilization of innocent, hard working people than to accept that there are societies in the world with different values than your own.

I wish to take this time to invite the leaders of any country to visit The Empire of Croneybones and meet with me as we would all be better off discussing these issues in a diplomatic manner, rather than sending troops to die.

Secret IC (YOU CAN'T SEE ME)
To: Shazbotdom
From: Granate High Command

Since this nation is obviously a militant power. We should invade and end his warmongering ways. The Republic will not stand by while idle threats are made to the Nations of the World. A good force from both our nations would be quite sufficient enought to end his ways.

Even if his nation is a little pooey...

Sincerely
Granatian High Command.

Secret IC:
ENCRIPTED MILITARY MESSAGE
TO: Leadership of Granate
FROM: George A. Loak, Supreme Emperor of the Dark Empire of Shazbotdom

We agree whole heartedly. We will invade and crush this petty nation before they can do any harm to any other soverign nation. I have dispatched four divisions of the Shazbotdom Marine Corps (roughly 300,000 Marines) towards his nation to crush his government and make him another Colony of the Dark Empire of Shazbotdom. Although we will split the nation with you if you help us to crush their government.

Secret IC (YOU CAN'T SEE ME)
To: Shazbotdom
From: Granate High Command

Since this nation is obviously a militant power. We should invade and end his warmongering ways. The Republic will not stand by while idle threats are made to the Nations of the World. A good force from both our nations would be quite sufficient enought to end his ways.

Even if his nation is a little pooey...

OCC: I lol'd seriously.

Sincerely
Granatian High Command.

IC:

A new missile assualt has been anounced that will consit of 100 of the new turdpong 13. they will be launch once every 12 hours. Each will detonate 20,000 meters over any city larger than 100,000.

Secret IC:
ENCRIPTED MILITARY MESSAGE
TO: Leadership of Granate
FROM: George A. Loak, Supreme Emperor of the Dark Empire of Shazbotdom

We agree whole heartedly. We will invade and crush this petty nation before they can do any harm to any other soverign nation. I have dispatched four divisions of the Shazbotdom Marine Corps (roughly 300,000 Marines) towards his nation to crush his government and make him another Colony of the Dark Empire of Shazbotdom. Although we will split the nation with you if you help us to crush their government.
Secret IC
To: George A. Loak, Supreme Emperor of the Dark Empire of Shazbotdom

May this day be a glorious one for both our nations. The Granatian Parliament has authorized the deployment of 200,000 of the Republics Best troops. Also along with the soldiers are approximately 250 or so Tiger MBTs. Also Granatian Aircraft will be running Sorties over their territory, so don't hesitate to call for Aircraft. Also the 1st Battle Fleet will enter their waters to search any incoming ships.

Sincerely
President Andrei Johnson of the Democratic Republic of Granate

SECRET IC:
T Minus 14 hours
The Fleet decided that it was time to send in the first wave of attack fighters. A flight group of 15 SA-32A Thunderbolt craft were launched from the MSF Blagraland and were entering the atmosphere heading towards the territorial waters of the Empire of Croneybones. At the same time, the marines were loading up onto some AC-01's to land and create a beachhead for the rest of the Marine Corps divisions to land their troops.

Colonel Anderson: "Marines! Lend me your ears. We have been chosen to end a nations blatant threats on other nations National Soverignties! Captain Henderson. I want you to take a strike team of 50 men and create an LZ for our troops. Try and go for a port town or something similar."

Henderson: "Yes, Sir!"

Anderson: "Captain Bigtroph. Get ready the majority of the forces for a beachhead landing. I want them ready in the landing boats."

Bigtroph: "Yes, Sir!"

Anderson: "The rest of you men. Prepare for war!"

Loud cheers could be hears as the men jumped into the aircraft that they were assigned to.

OOC: Okay, I think you guys are carrying this just a little too far. He attempted to correct his mistake but you won't give him the chance.

OOC: I'm taking this as a big joke. I'm assuming the ones continuing with this 'war' are just eager war mongers especially when you consider there wasn't a threat made at all, and you just can't attack a country because you feel like it. Especially by lauching missiles filled with feces. Have a nice day!

the highgaurd of the empire of sephrioth advises you not to say things your not willing to back up with force

*cocks triphasic pasher rifle*

the highgaurd of the empire of sephrioth advises you not to say things your not willing to back up with force

*cocks triphasic pasher rile*

this a P/MT thread.

ooooopsie but meh

this a P/MT thread.
Doesn't make his advice any less true, now does it?

OOC: Just for the record, I have provided him with nuclear devices in exchange for military positions within Croneybones, so he does have nukes.

OOC: Just for the record, I have provided him with nuclear devices in exchange for military positions within Croneybones, so he does have nukes.

OCC: so by now he is buirred under more than 10,000 tons of human feces.

OCC: so by now he is buirred under more than 10,000 tons of human feces.

OOC: Yeah, I don't think anyone's paying any attention to that.

Croneybones']OOC: I'm taking this as a big joke. I'm assuming the ones continuing with this 'war' are just eager war mongers especially when you consider there wasn't a threat made at all, and you just can't attack a country because you feel like it. Especially by lauching missiles filled with feces. Have a nice day!

Shatz and Granate properly RP'd their intent, a the beginning of an invasion. By making such...hostile...remarks in your first post you opened the door for an invasion. While 1010102 is clearly not serious at all, Shatz and Granate are not. They will be on your doorstep shortly so I would advise you to either make peace, withdraw your comments, surrender or fight to the death.

--------------------
To: Supreme Emperor George A. Loak, President Andrei Johnson
From: Madam Robynne Hay
Re: Croneybones

The Commonwealth of Saint Fedski while officials condemns the attack, wishes your forces the best of luck for a swift and bloodless victory.

As an officially neutral nation, Saint Fedski will 'limit' further foreign involvement in said conflict so as to protect the rightful properties of the Dark Empire of Shazbotdom and the Democratic Republic of Granate.

Sincerely,

[signed]
Robynne Hay
Minister of Foreign Affairs
Commonwealth of Saint Fedski

you think i'm joking?

OOC: Which is why me and Shazbotdom are invading.

Secret IC:
T-Minus 5 Hours
In the bowels the Empire Class Carrier TRS Lucianus stood Admiral Benjamin Grumman. He was directing the final preparations for the Invasion. He was talking to his subordinates. The Final Battle plan was coming through.

"Ok the Battle ships will open fire along the beach-head at approximately T-1 Hour. After 55 Minutes of Bombardment the landing craft will move in and drop their loads, providing covering fire if need be." The Admiral said

"Col. Henderson here will be leading the Forces once they are on the Ground. Col. please outline your plan once we establish a firm beachhead." The Admiral said as he sat down.

"As you know we can only unload 2,000 or so troops every time we land. So after the first couple of waves are on the beach we are going to move out and try to capture the nearby port town. Once the town is secure we will begin to unload the troops and heavy equipment there" The Col said.

"During all of this Air General Bradley will be using the Planes from carriers to run sorties over their territory. They will be softening up many defenses. So don't hesitate to call for aerial assistance." The Admiral said.

"Any questions?" He said finally

each of my IC posts have been serious. I realy have poo missiles.

you think i'm joking?
If you're not I'll think you're extremely immature. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

OCC; i am joking. just wanted to be a little silly.

Which is why I've been chuckling. If you were serious, I would've been crying.

OOC: Which is why me and Shazbotdom are invading.



OOC: Something which while he may, you can't actually do. You are a UN member and as such bound by their ill-thought out and oft-times ridiculous laws.

OOC: Back when Shazbotdom and I were at war, he too planned to dump a load of shit on my nation.

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9812367&postcount=70

IC:

A representative of Kahanistan Military Industries points the EOC to its arms storefront. The D.S.R.K. is currently at war itself, having been struck by Kravanian nuclear arms, and cannot spare troops to the theater.

However, they do not want to allow the Dark Empire to grow and gobble up smaller nations. They provide satellite images of the imperial vessels to Croneybones.

In case anyone would like to read back a few posts, I clearified what I said was not a threat to anyone. It was an announcement of intent of 2 things:

Intention 1- to join the U.N. Which I did.

Intention 2- to acquire nuclear capabilities for defensive, military uses, which I also did.

Now, to any sane individual, that would not justify war. I did not say I'm going to bomb [insert country here]. Had I said that, war would be justified, as that would be a threat.

Any nations wishing to invade The Empire of Croneybones should reconsider any type of attack. EOC is a nation of peace, yet with 33% of our population being of active military status, and with the latest military technology, we are prepared to defend ourselves against any breeches at any cost.

We continue to track ships and aircraft off our coast. We insist that you reverse course, or we will be forced to defend our borders. Naval ships have been deployed, and our Air force is ready to deploy.

We WILL defend our nation at ANY COST, EOC once again urges any invaders to return to your own country.

33%!? Try 3%, Kahanistan has ~0.4% of its citizens in the military and maybe 2-3% in reserve. In general, for a nation of five million, you should have about 100,000 - 150,000 troops.

Wanting to acquire nuclear weapons (defensive or otherwise) is a justification for war. Not the best justification, but you could interpret it as being hostile. Also note that some people use anything as a justification, no matter how small, it's called imperialism.

As for you trying to make them reconsider the invasion, I suggest you alter your method. You say you have 33% of your population on active military status, which would cripple your economy and your soldiers would be armed with pitchforks and spoons, not the "latest military technology."

Therefore, you really aren't prepared to defend yourself. Rather than making statements that they aren't going to heed, I suggest you find some powerful allies willing to defend you from them. They aren't afraid of you because you only have a population of 6 million, but if you had someone on your side with say, 6 billion, they might back off.

*2 cents

OOC: And besides I am mostly benovolent. As benovolent as much as a Democatically Elected Leader Can be.

ICCD will send technical experts to assist you in your research projects if required. ICCD is on the brink of fully parting from the atomic age. As nuclear technologies are becoming quite archaic and outdated. Although fusion is still worth investing in.

We are also willing to sell/construct nuclear fussion or fission reactors to you in partnership of a joint research and infrastructure development program.

The offer is there and best wishes.

Logothe of the Drome, Holy Empire of Intracircumcordei
x~~~~~~~~~~

OOC: I will wait until Shazbotdom makes his move before I do anything.

OOC: Something which while he may, you can't actually do. You are a UN member and as such bound by their ill-thought out and oft-times ridiculous laws.

OOC:
Just cause he's in the UN doesn't mean he can't invade someone. There is no UN Resolution against invasion, trust me. And plus, me and Granate were (ICly) threatened when he said that he "Besmirched" those who don't believe in the "beliefs, thoughts and religion of this great Empire.". Thus the reason for our show of force.


SECRET IC:
SCENE: Flightgroup of Thunderbolts
"This is Alpha One Three to command. Come in Command."

"This is Command, Over"

"Were are making our decent. ETA to target, 15 minutes."

"Over. Commence radio silence."

"Rodger that."

SCENE: Imperial Navy
The radios cut out as the flight group shuts off their radios. The Navy has turned their engines to full stop and are holding their position roughly 55 kilometers away from the coast of Croneybones. The AC-01's were almost fully ready for their launch, but were waiting for the full go from Shazbotdom Marine Command.

OOC: Sorry Croneybones. Time to enact Operation Bone Crusher.

Secret IC
T-Minus 1 Hour and 15 Minutes
15 Minutes to Bombardment.

The 1st Granatian Fleet was just withing 3 miles of the Coastline. The Battleships and Cruisers were getting in to posistion to begin the Bombardment. Their guns were prepared to destroy whatever was foolish enough to get hit by it. The Carriers were preparing their Aircraft for the Sorties. The first wave would be of mostly Air-Superiority Fighters, with subsequent sorties by fighter-bombers and multi-roles planes. The Landing Craft were also going through their final checks. They would be among the first to see the shore up close.

While all of this was going on Admiral Grumman was going over final preparations in plan. With him were Col. Henderson, Air General Bradley, and Vice-Admiral Gunther.

"Bombardment of the Coastline will begin within 15 minutes sir" Col. Henderson said. He had a look in his eye. A look of Determination.

"What kind of defenses are we looking at here?" The Vice-Admiral said with an edge of caution in his voice. He looked at the Air-General expectantly.

"From what we can deduce defenses are minimal at best. Out attack has come at a very bad time for them" The Air-General said.

"Well, gentlemen, it would seem that the time for talk has come to a close and the time for fighting has arrived." The Admiral said.

"Admiral, the Bombardment will begin in 5 minutes, sir" an Aide said from outside the room. With that the men gathered in the room stood up. They all saluted each other.

"Gentlemen, to your posts, dismissed" The Admiral said. After they had filed out he made his way to the Bridge of the TRS Lucianus. This was going to his Command Center throughout the Operation.

"Sir, the ships are awaiting your command to begin" An aide said from her station. He thought for a moment.

"Begin" He said finally.

OOC:
I'm waiting till tomarrow. I'll check this after work.

Meeting inside the office of Emporer Croneybones



Advisor: Emporer, intelligence provided shows several warships offshore. It appears they have dropped anchor. Radar shows nothing as of yet, but reports of low flying aircraft are coming in.

Emporer Croneybones: Well, it looks as if my pleas to the war-mongers have been futile. I should have known that- once war is in their minds, there is no hope of stopping it..... Ready the anti aircraft weaponry and prepare the sea vessels for battle. If any missiles are launched toward this Empire... sink the ships. All of them. If any aircraft enters our airspace, take them down. Prepare a room for a news conference. I shall speak to their people and let them know what an absurd atrocity they are about to die for.

OOC:
Just cause he's in the UN doesn't mean he can't invade someone. There is no UN Resolution against invasion, trust me. And plus, me and Granate were (ICly) threatened when he said that he "Besmirched" those who don't believe in the "beliefs, thoughts and religion of this great Empire.". Thus the reason for our show of force.


OOC: You're kidding, right? Besmirch? To stain; sully. That's threatening?

OOC: It just goes to say that it is a dangerous situation when the illiterate are in a position of power.

Open message to nations approaching Croneybones:

I would advice caution in your proposed attack. Romanarian intellegence indicates that Croneybones has nuclear missles that are covered in poo. If said missles are still functional and he unleashes them, it could generate a toxic cloud that could kill all life on this planet!

Secret IC:
SCENE: Flight group of Thunderbolts
The flight group continued it's decent down, flames shot around the ship as they were piercing the outter atmosphere. They readied their fusion missiles (uses standard warheads but fusion tech for propulsion). They would launch roughly 10 missiles into farming land as a sign of force. The flight group checked their radars and moved into a V format, turning on their active radar to make sure that no aircaft was approaching them at all, they hit their boosters as they came down roughly 20 kilometers inside of Croneybones territory.


SCENE: Flight deck of the USS Shazbot
The AC-01's were still standing by for take-off. They recieved new official orders from Shazbotdom Marine Command to not take off till it is absolutely nessicary. The Captain of one of the Pelicans was pacing outside of his aircraft waiting for the orders to trickle down from the bridge. It was a tense silence on the flight deck, a silence that wasn't seen too often on any ship in the fleet...


SCENE: Bridge of the USS Shazbot
Captain Johnson was standing by on the bridge, waiting for new orders to come in from SMC. Commander Brickhouse was checking the communications system every so often to make sure that they didn't miss any signals from the mainland. Just as normal, the ships were docked roughly 15 Kilometers outside of Croneybones territorial wayers to ensure that if the Thunderbolts were called off and they were attacked, it would make it an international incident.

OOC:
He also didn't say Besmirch in his post. he said "Defecate", which is defined as indicated below...

Main Entry: def·e·cate
Pronunciation: 'de-fi-"kAt
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): -cat·ed; -cat·ing
Etymology: Latin defaecatus, past participle of defaecare, from de- + faec-, faex dregs, lees
transitive verb
1 : to free from impurity or corruption
2 : to discharge from the anus
intransitive verb : to discharge feces from the bowels
- def·e·ca·tion /"de-fi-'kA-sh&n/ noun

The bolded part is what the Empire took as insulting.

OOC:
He also didn't say Besmirch in his post. he said "Defecate", which is defined as indicated below...



The bolded part is what the Empire took as insulting.

OOC: Now being insulted isn't usually considered grounds to go to war...

BAD REASONS FOR WAR

1. His leader insulted mine!

So what? If you rush off to war for this reason, you need to grow a thicker skin. As absurd as it seems, I've seen war erupt for this reason. Insults happen, don't take it personally. Remember "sticks and stones"? Declaring war because challenges are being issued is one thing, but declaring war because his leader called your leader a mean name is another.

Croneybones']In case anyone would like to read back a few posts, I clearified what I said was not a threat to anyone. It was an announcement of intent of 2 things:

Intention 1- to join the U.N. Which I did.

Intention 2- to acquire nuclear capabilities for defensive, military uses, which I also did.

Now, to any sane individual, that would not justify war. I did not say I'm going to bomb [insert country here]. Had I said that, war would be justified, as that would be a threat.

Any nations wishing to invade The Empire of Croneybones should reconsider any type of attack. EOC is a nation of peace, yet with 33% of our population being of active military status, and with the latest military technology, we are prepared to defend ourselves against any breeches at any cost.

We continue to track ships and aircraft off our coast. We insist that you reverse course, or we will be forced to defend our borders. Naval ships have been deployed, and our Air force is ready to deploy.

We WILL defend our nation at ANY COST, EOC once again urges any invaders to return to your own country.


Hahaha. Don't be so modest, friend, pretty much every nation here has modern tech and even with 33% of your pop. in military service many of us can still use many times that amount.

OOC: 33%? Fuck, dude, your nation should be in an economic grave right now. What are your soldiers armed with, sticks?

OOC: Now being insulted isn't usually considered grounds to go to war...

OOC: Also, IMHO, it's probably not a good idea to go to war with a country that's been supplied with nukes (by you) and then had those nukes covered in poo (by 1010102). Even if the rest of his military is puny, such a war could get - messy! :D :D :D

Croneybones']The newly formed Empire of Croneybones in the Lexicon would like to take this opportunity to publicly and verbally defecate on any nation who opposes the beliefs, thoughts and religion of this great Empire. :upyours:

We, The Empire of Croneybones do hereby announce New business as such:

1. The Empire of Croneybones has applied to join the United Nations and become an active member.

2. As such, the responsibility of being a U.N. member carries a great burden, which we will prepare to carry militarily. To enforce this, we will immediately begin research and development of Nuclear Energy to be used for civillian and primarily military purposes.

Any objections to either of these proposals should be rethought, and unsubmitted, as your arguments will fall upon deaf ears.

Rethought, eh? I wholeheartedly disagree with the UN's policies, as well as yours. I choose to remain a rogue nation and not to be so infernally imperialistic.

OOC: No, I said VERBALLY defecate. Not physically. Basically that translates to: "if you don't like my beliefs, shit on you."

IC:

EOC Naval commander: Men, we just recieved word that the threat to our great nation has grown. We have been given the green light from the Emporer to use all force necessary against the invaders. Intelligence shows aircraft in flight, and naval vessels near our waters. Time to hit it, gentlemen, once the aircraft reach our range, we take them out. Submarines have been deployed to sink the ships. More preparations are being made by our ground based troops, and unfortunately our nuclear weapons are on ready status and calibrated toward capitals and major cities in the invading countries.

Meanwhile
The Empire of Croneybones has issued a statement to any invading countries.

Cronus: Gentlemen, although it appears that war is imminent, I would like to take this last opportunity to implore you to stop this foolishness and return to your home countries. EOC doesn't wish for war, nor are we happy to send our men to fight for such a foolish cause. It is an atrocity to see a leader send troops to die on his personal behalf. It is unbecoming, as a man, to let others fight their battles. I suggest to you, leaders of the invading forces, that rather than send your men to die on your behalf, you behave like men and take your personal matters unto yourselves. Let me be blunt, if a fight is what you want... because of something I said... I've got a boxing ring in my stadium, and you can personally have your aggressions out with me.
This bullying is foolishness. I can humbly say that EOC is a small land with few people. We know that we are outnumbered greatly in this war, but do not underestimate the EOC. We do not want war, but we can and will bring it.

News flash
Cronus News Network...

Citizens have taken to the streets, despite concerns of invasion to publically protest what many are calling outright madness on behalf of foreign nations. Our reporter, June Greenwich is on the scene.

June: [speaking to a random protestor] Sir, what are your thoughts on this matter?

Citizen: It's insanity! How can a country justify war by someone's words? I got words for you... F***K YOU!!!! War this!!

June: This is June Greenwich over and out...

SECRET IC:
SCENE: Flight group of Thunderbolts
The flight group recieved new orders. They would hit a SAM site from a safe distance. An encrypted text message was sent from the main ship to the rest of the craft.
All craft. Prepare to drop your payload on my signal. Until then, maintain radio silence and send all communique's through encripted inter-craft text messanging. Use the Shazbotdom Standardised 512k encryption method.


SCENE: Bridge of the USS Shazbot
The new orders had arrived. The fleet was to move off, heading towards the territorial waters of Alraibris, a Shazbotdom colony. They had turned about and started heading out quickly. They would reach Alraibris in roughly 23 hours at full speed.

Johnson (Intra Ship Communication): "This is a message from your captain. We have been ordered to dock at the shipyards at the Shazbotdom Colony of Alraibris and we will be re-deployed onto the MSF fleet. Prepare to fully evacuate all of the ships as soon as we arrive. We will be there in T Minus 23 hours and counting. Bridge out."

Secret IC:
Bridge of the TRS Lucianus

"Begin.... to delay that order" the Admiral said

"Commander, what are you saying?" The Aide said from her chair

"You heard me... this attack was alittle brash if not more" The Admiral said.

"Call the Commanders and tell them to pull the fleet back to territorial waters." He said again. They had come so close to war. It would probably be a while for Granate to firmly be believed in the International Community but it would of been easier to say they may have gone to war and not have gone to war. With one last look towards the coastline that was fast disappearing the Admiral sighed and walked to his cabin for some much needed rest.

OOC: Sorry Croney... Imperialism it's like a Disease.