NationStates Jolt Archive

Somewhere near Doomingsland

In Allanea, smuggling is a popular job. It is natural – nearly everything is legal in Allanea. Drugs, weapons, pornography, hunting of rare animals. Allaneans despise nations which are 'oppressive', and they think making a profit off the failures of the 'oppressors' to prevent the product from reaching the consumer is a cool thing to do.

And so, young men buy small, low-profile smuggling boats – which are made in Allanea in immense amounts, just for this purpose. They fill it up with marijuana, cocaine, guns, DVD's - whatever is banned somewhere – and they get to it. The girls love them for it. They make sweet cash. There is only one problem.

Some people get caught.

One person like this is Joshua Davidson, a young Jewish man from Allanean Alabama.

Right now, he doesn't even know he's about to get caught.

He's just arriving in Doomingsland territorial waters with his boat, carrying a load of crystal meth and Teens Gone Wild videos.

Considering that the age of maturity (and therefore porn acting) in Allanea is 16, the titles are perfectly truthful – making his actions doubleplusungood in Doomingsland.

Off the coast of Iurarium, Imperium Doomanum

He didn't stand a chance. The Imperial Guardsmen driving the patrol boat the spotted him immediately suspected smuggling. Who else would drive such a suspicious boat?

Immediately they pushed down on the throttle, accelerating to 30 knots and sneaking up on Joshua's boat. Without warning grappling hooks were fired from the Imperial craft and it was reeled in. Joshua began to panic, attempting to accelerate away, but it was to no avail.

Within seconds, his boat was boarded. Three Guardsmen kicked down the door to the pilothouse and ripped him from his seat, throwing him to the ground. They began clubbing him with bayonets and kicking him, breaking his ribs in the process. He yelled in pain as they began to go through his cargo, finding the illicit material.

Upon finding the meth, their commander, a first-class Decurion, grinned boadly and said something in Latin to his men. Joshua, still preoccupied with his pain, did not quite realize what was going on, until the bag of meth was thrown at him. It was then it hit him: He had been caught smuggling drugs and porn in Doomingsland. Such offenses in this place were punishable by death.

He stared up towards the mocking face of the Doomani NCO who had caught him, who in turn began to chuckle maniacly as he brought his boot down on Joshua's face. And then it all went black for the Allanean.

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He awoke six hours later in a dark, dank prison cell. He had no idea where he was. He looked around as his eyes began to adjust to the darkness. Sand covered portions of the cell's floor. He was on land. The ceiling was somewhat high, about nine feet up. Towards the top on the far end of the cell was a small window from which light eminate.

Joshua attempted to stand, but pain shot from his chest.

Then he recalled how those Doomie bastards had broken his ribs.

He heard the clanking of metal from behind him and turned. As he did so, the cell door swung open, and two uniformed Guardsmen entered, their rifles slung over their shoulders. Both grabbed him by one arm and lifted him.

He yelled, his ribs bothering him once more, as they dragged him from his cell, down a long, dark, dusty corridor lined with cell doors, up a flight of stairs and out into a courtyard where a pole had been errected.

The two Guardsmen released him, causing him to fall to his knees, and another two with a large crossbeam walked over, placing it on Joshua's shoulders and binding his hands to it. He was then forced to his feet and lead over to the pole.

A rope was tossed over the top of it, which was then fastened to the center of Joshua's crossbeam, creating a sort of pulley system. He was then turned around so his back was to the pole. He was now very disoriented. A group of soldiers on the other side pulled on the rope, yanking Joshua up off his feet.

The beam was then nailed to the pole, creating a cross. Next to be nailed were his hands, then his feet. He hung there on his cross, utterly terrified, looking to the top of the courtyard as a flock of ravens began to form. He had heard stories of Roman crucifixions, and how the crows and ravens would come and eat the eyes out of the victims as they hung...

It was back-breaking labor on the part of the Doomani soldiers, but when they were done they were satisfied. They had brought another perverted infidel to justice. Little did they know the crucifixion of Joshua Davidson would have far-reaching consequences.

Mongo Kimhi blinked at the picture in front of him – it reached him two weeks later, through some obscure website. But now it was verified, solid, and now he could happily publish it – it would totally kick ass as the headline of Allanea Times. He wondered for a second whether to put the picture on the front page – it might annoy the more sensitive people. But then he realized that if he didn't do it, blogosphere would, anyway.

And so, the article ended up with a low-resolution picture of the crucified Joshua Davidson on the front page, under the headline. The headline read:

Catholic Slavers From Doomingsland Kill Jesus

His name was Joshua Davidson – something which means, Jesus, Son of David. You may take it as a coincidence, or you may not, but the similarity is striking. Both of them were Jewish. Their killers both spoke Latin. And more importantly, Jesus died for our sins. So has Joshua Davidson, in a way.

Jesus died for the sins of mankind. Joshua Davidson has died because of the main sin of Allanea – failing to spread our ideology of tolerance, of compassion, of freedom around the world. Recently, there's even been a motion to cut down the defense budget to 61%, but thanks God, that one went nowhere – or rather, it went where it should have, in the trash can.

Will our governemnt now do something about Doomingsland?

This was only the first sign of trouble.

Within forty eight hours, thousands of emails began ot pour out on Congress, Senate, and the White House, demanding immediate war with Doomingsland. Alexander Kazansky resisted the pressure, but the Allaneans were furious.

On the third day, a pro-war demonstration was held in Liberty-City. In it's aftermath, Doomingsland's embassy to Allanea was assaulted by gunfire, and three grenades were thrown over it's fence. The Doomingsland Justice Act's Congressional version was authored that day – even though President Kazansky promised to veto it.

On the day after, the DJA was submitted in the Senate, passing that with a veto proof two thirds. By now, the legislature was annoyed by the President's opposition to the war, and was steamrolling the Justice Act. It would still take some time, but it was inevitable – and eventually, it did happen.

Twenty five days after Joshua Davidson's death, the Doomingsland Justice Act passed Congress with a full five thousand Aye votes rallying behind it. Even with opposition of the Hashi Ambivalentira Party and the Socialist Party (with all of 300 combined seats), and the Pacifist Party's lone delegate, the Act still had tripartisan support - more then it needed.

And so, on the morning of the thirtieth day since Joshua Davidson's tragic death, the Second and Third Haven Domination Fleets and the First Force Projection Fleet headed for Doomingsland. In the air above them passed the Charlton Heston Air Armada headed for the Doomingland shores.

War had begun.

Across the Empire, the drums beat for war. Imperial Guard units across the nation were activated and Air Defense Command went on red alert. The Imperial Navy's III, V, VIII, and XI Armadas also prepared for a massive surface engagement with the Allanean Navy.

Strategic Command was now at maximum readiness, and Ira Dei was being prepared for the arrival of the enemy navy.

The Allaneans intended to bring 'justice' to Doomingsland. The Doomani did not want the type of 'justice' the Allaneans brought with them, for this was decadence, immorality. Heresy.

Aboard the USS Allanea

“We have range to enemy, Sir. We have location from our peeking-sat data. How many should the fleet launch?”

“We have 18 targets. Eight carriers, eight 'pocket' superdreadnaughts, and two full superdreadnaughts. In the meanwhile, this fleet carries three thousand Khan class missiles. I suggest you launch eighteen hundred of them.”

“Sir! That's... over half our Khan complement.”

“Yes. Life is a bitch. I told the damn bastards they should have listened to me. Now select targets, fire.”

And the sky lit up as 1,800 Khan missiles screamed out to their targets.

“Let's rock and roll.”

DIS Pope Pius X

Aboard the mighty super dreadnaught commanding V Armada, sirens began to sound and crewmembers braced for impact. CIWS systems went only and VLS systems heated up in preparation for being totally saturated by the incoming missiles.

Admiral Marcellus Sirus was in the Combat Control Center as this was occuring. He sighed. Looking at the reports, he knew he was most likely going to die in the coming minutes. Khan missiles, 1,800 of them. This was a threat that the High Command had previously scoffed at, and now it was about to cost them an Armada's key assets.

"Fuck..." he muttered under his breath so nearby crewmembers couldn't hear. "Proceed with evasive action," he commanded, keeping a cool head.

It was the most he could possibly do in this situation.

The Allaneans were fucking cowards. Sitting back in their comfy stations 8,000 kilometers from their enemy calmly throwing missiles at them. This 'battle', if it could be called that, was the sort of thing Sirus had previously hoped never to face. This must have been what it was like to be on the recieving end of one of his own missile spams.

It was degrading.

Upon learning of the launch, however, he had ordered the launch of over two-thousand ACT-235 missiles. These were certain to damper the incoming missile strike. The reason he had not fired more was simple: the Allaneans probably had more Khans in case this strike did not wipe out the Imperial Navy.

The ACT-235s proceeded to match altitudes with the incoming Khans, accelrating to high mach speed. They would reach the Khans before they began their descent. Within minutes, they began to make contact.

The Khans were big fat targets with massive infrared signatures. Finding them wasn't difficult at all. However, no missile is 100% effective, as evidenced by the ensueing engagement. The ACT-235s slammed into the formation of Khans, setting off their large ONC warheads and destroying a good portion of the enemy missiles and damaging even more enough to render them ineffective.

There were still over three hundred still intact, however.

As the Khans began their hypersonic descent at speeds exceeding mach ten, the crewmen aboard the Imperial ships could only hold their breaths and pray that the automated anti-missile defenses would hold up against the enemy missiles.

Surface-to-air missiles from the VLS began to rocket into the sky towards the incoming hypersonic missiles and soon enough were joined by 91mm flak guns and RAM, which were in term joined by 37mm CIWS. Some got lucky, knowing a Khan off course or putting a hole in it and causing it to vaporize itself at the extreme speeds. Most didn't, though.

Of the eighteen ships targetted...all of them were hit at least once. Most were hit several times. The Pius X was hit TEN TIMES. By the time the eleventh missile was about to hit, the ship had already gone down with all hands. The two armadas guarding against the enemy fleet were now decapitated.

The other two armadas were moving from their positions in the South Sea of Generia towards the battle at flank speed, but would not arrive in range for another several hours.

In the mean time, the Empire wanted revenge. A swift and terrible vengeance was about to befall the Allanean Navy. The Wrath of God.

The Ira Dei nuclear pulse gun was about to recieve its baptism of fire. In Damnatium, beneath that scorching hot smog that shielded it from the prying eyes of heathen satellites, silo doors swung open and the barrels of the guns protruded out.

The launch order had been given as soon as the enemy fleet arrived within range.

Target coordinates were inputted, and soon enough, a thunder unlike any other heard in the region sounded as sub-kiloton nuclear charges were detonated, propeling the massive ten-ton shells at ultra-high velocities. Their targets: The Allanean Navy's Super Dreadnaughts.

The Allaneans had sunk two Imperial SDs, and now the Empire would retaliate by killing three times as many.

Of the thirty guns, twelve of them targetted the SDs, with the other eighteen targetting the Allanean CVNs. This war that had started over the death of one man was now resulting in the death of thousands...

Aboard the USS Allanea

Within fifteen seconds after the Allaneans have established the damage incurred to the enemy, the Allanean combat radios had powered up, transmitting a simple phrase to the Doomingslandian craft. The message said, simple:

Pwn3d, b1tch3z!!!

And then, payback came. The USS Allanea was almost immediately hit by one NPG round, the other missing it entirely. Evem as he ran over to the damage control computers, Grand Admiral McPherson already saw that the superdreadnaught would be forced to retreat towards Allanea.

And then, even more NPG rounds began to strike around them. As McPherson watched, another superdreadnaught was hit in the front and starboard ammunition magazine and went up like a Christmas tree. Within literally seconds, the Allanean Navy lost three superdraughts entirely. One more lost control, and floated, pointless, in the ocean. Another had it's bridge ripped entirely off, and was now worse then useless – dangerous to it's own men and crew. The third one hat it's engines destroyed, and was leaking bits of the reactor fuel straight into the Doomingsland sea. At least we piss off Greenpeace

In the meanwhile, with the carriers, the Doomingslandians' cannon was not as effective. Some of them – like the USS Nightmare were immediately pierced deck-to-bottom by the immense shells, and began to sink. Such were six in number. Two more – the USS Furcadia and the USS World of Warcraft lost propulsion and control to the nuclear powered cannon. And finally, the USS Guild Wars had it's front runways damaged so heavily they could not be immediately fixed and the ship would probably have to go home to Allanea.

Admiral McPherson growled in anger as the wounded USS Allanea slowly pulled back to port and the rest of the ships proceeded slowly towards Doomingland. He simply fumed with rage. His face was flushed, his fists clenched. This is normally not a good condition to give orders in, but regardless, he decided to go through with it.

He looked down at a young sailor – looking by the communicator look alike badge pinned to his uniform some Next Generation fan, and growled. “Launch the remaining Khans. All of them. Target their cruisers at five Khans per cruiser. Thats' 480 Khans.”

He paused.

“This leaves you with 480 more Khans to throw at their destroyers. 192 destroyers so it won't quite divide evenly. I don't really care.”

Another pause, and then he gave the last order.

“Two hundred and forty more Khan rockets will still be left in your arsenal. Laucnh them at the frigates. One Khan per frigate. And tell them to send a Strategic Bombing Wing to come from Allanea. They'll be needed here soon. “

After he said that, Grand Admiral William McPherson was silent as the USS Allanea left the area.

He watched quietly as on the horizon, Khan missile streaked into the air and out towards the far horizon. It looked good, he admitted. But the question remained, would it work as good as it looked?

He didn't know, and so there was only one solution.

He would make himself some Stossel tea – Stossel Earl Grey, actually.

Then, Admiral McPherson would toss five teaspoons of sugar into it and mix it well and carefully.

After doing that, he would sit in his room below deck, in a large, fine leather armchair. He reached for his computer, rested his hands on the quality MicroCosm keyboard and mouse, and loogged into The Shooting Trail (http://www.theshootingtrail.com/index.php/site/home).

It would take hours until the battle resolved itself, so for now, he could relax.

There was nothing else he could do after all.

The launch of the remaining Khans prompted the launch of another barrage of ACT-235s, another 2,000. There would be two per Khan. Once more the missiles matched altitude and accelerated, quickly meeting the enemy formation. Once more the two formations collided. This time the results were far better for the Doomani.

With the Khans outnumbered rather badly, they were able to down a very large portion, leaving only four hundred to continue on towards what remained of the Imperial Fleet. These missiles were targetted at a variaty of ships, mostly cruisers.

In the end, only 12 cruisers remained afloat, only two actualy being operational. 84 frigates were still in the fight, with another 14 destroyers still alive and well.

Meanwhile, the other two armadas continued to make headway towards the battle. With the enemy out of Khans (although the admirals technically didn't know that), the battle was certain to be far more even. In the mean time, a land-based flight of Malleus strategic bombers was en route to the fight.

Aboard the aircraft were rotary launchers containing two Quinquereme anti-shipping missiles each. With a total of five hundred bombers en route to the fight, the enemy fleet was about to have one thousand rather large missiles hitting them.

It was determined that escorts would not be necessary for this particular mission thanks to the extreme range of the payload and due to the distance the bombers would actualy have to fly to reach the launch point.

The Malleus, the Doomani version of the Tyrandisian Sariel strategic bomber, was one of the stealthiest aircraft on the face of the planet, capable of resisting even massive over the horizon RADAR sets. The Allaneans would have very little warning of the incoming strike.

The aircraft cruised subsonically in order to keep their infrared signatures down and further reduce chances of being detected and moved on towards the launch point, eight hundred miles away from the enemy fleet. This was out range of most RADARs, although some could detect large aircraft with little RCS reduction at such ranges. You weren't going to be seeing a Sariel at those ranges, however.

Upon reaching the launch point, the bomb bay doors swung open, revealing the rotary launchers, which immediately went into action. Just before arriving at the launch point the bombers sped up, pushing themselves over the sound barrier to allow for the missiles to accelerate more quickly.

Within seconds the first missiles were away, accelerating to mach five and climbing to an altitude of 88,000 feet. They would make use of their air breathing ramjet engines to take them most of the way. Once at 100 miles, they would begin their descent, deaching their ramjets, revealing a gel-fuel rocket engine, which in turn would push them to higher mach speeds. That, combined with the decent, would push the missiles up several mach numbers, eventualy hitting the decks of the enemy vessels at speeds nearing mach ten.

The missiles were capped with tungsten, allowing for deck penetration. Behind that was a charge of ONC, providing for the finishing blow. While this was not nearly enough to one-shot an SD or even (in some cases) ten-shot an SD, it would be more than enough to one-shot a heavy cruiser or arsenal ship, and was more than adequete for putting a carrier's flight ops out of commision.

The vessels targetted in this strike included Allanean carriers and arsenal ships, along with other larger vessels. Troop carrying ships were targetted as well.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Ira Dei would be ready to fire another volley soon...

As the Doomani missiles screamed through the air, the Allanean MTHEL kicked in, followed by the close-in weapons system on the varied ships, and finally, the immense anti-missile and anti-air arrays on the twenty three Air Defense Vessels. Many of the missiles were destroyed in midflight, but it did not help much if at all.

As the smoke cleared, forty three Second Amendment class vessels were vaporised by cruise missile explosions, and six carriers were sunk by the rain of fire, and four more utterly disabled. Thirteen Air Defense vessels were also sank by the enemy anti-ship missiles. The Abject Mutilation CAGN sank, and so did a dozen others under similar names.

In the meanwhile, though, help was under way.

A hundred Ank'riat nuclear-powered bombers made their way from Allanea, and they were coming here fast. What they carried in their bellies would spell death for many a fine man from Doomingsland.

Aboard the first one of those aircraft, it's captain – Marin Smith, ID Number 455453-N – laid down his cup – made out of the skull of an Antanjyli slaver, plated with silver. “Bah, this beer was really good, dude. Anyway... we're at 400 miles from the enemy. Prepare for launch.”

And, a few secondss later: “Fire in the hole.”

And the first missiles went off towards the Doomingslandian vessels. Those were, essentially Khan misisles with only the cruise section left on, and 75% of the missile body removed – with shorter range, but less weight and ability for aerial launch.

Of course, the Khans weren't made for this, and at least several of the missile launches were abortive, the missile flyling off into the horizon or plunging helplessly into the sea. Still, 1,000 Khans were originally launched at the Doomingslandian fleet, with ten rockets targeted per ship.

Even if some of the launches failed... something would hit the targets, the Allaneans hoped.

Satellite-based RADARs and LADARs picked up on the enemy bombers as they initialy entered the region, and so they did not enter unnoticed. As a result, the Imperial Airforce was already waiting for them when they showed up.

ACI-73D Aquilas had been launched, a rather large force. Three hundred in number. They didn't even allow the Allanean bombers to get in firing range. They engaged them with medium range missiles from 120 miles away roughly five hundred miles from the fleet before hitting their afterburners and going after the bombers with guns and short range missiles.

The medium range missiles would use a variaty of guidance systems, including airborne AWACS RADAR, their own RADAR, LIDAR, LADAR, infrared, and electro-optical systems, meaning that electronic countermeasures and other systems would not be terribly effective. Even if they jammed some of the missiles (each fighter launched four of them, making for twelve-hundred missiles), the fighters were moving in at speeds of mach three (the missiles would close at mach four), and would most likely catch any stragglers, closing in with their guns and short range missiles.

Meanwhile, the time was about up for what remained of the Allanean Navy's larger ships. Ira Dei had finished reloading and cooling down, and thus another volley from the thirty guns was fired, all of them targetted at the remaining enemy carriers, ensuring none would escape this time.

The Ank'riat bombers didn't dodge. Ank'riat bombers generally can't dodge. Instead, they fought, meeting the anti-air missiles with a hail of minimissiles and MTHEL beams. Still, 10 bombers were lost entirely, and 15 mre were not able to launch their Khans. Thus only 750 of the original Khans were launched, and the Allanean aircraft carrier complement became lost.

Frustrated by this, the Allaneans ordered the First and Fourth Haven Domination Fleets out of port, as well as any vessels yet unassigned to a fleet. But that would take way too long.


THIS THREAD WAS RETCONNED AT DOOMINGSLAND'S REQUEST