NationStates Jolt Archive


That is one f—— big frat party. [FT Intro, attn TCG, Derscon, others TG me to join.]

New Czardas
13-07-2006, 02:58
Space.

It's really pretty big, when you start to think about it. Untold millions of light-years across. It can hold googols of people, (yes googol is a number, because I said so) with room for more.

In your particular sector of occupied space, there may be patrol ships trundling around invisible borders, ensuring the security of your general area. There may be commerce and rapid traffic. There may be great battles of epic proportions unfolding above your planets as your Super Star COCKstroyers combat enemy Super Star COCKstroyers. There may be newbies getting owned at World of Warcraft.

Then you pause and look up. And rightfully.

The largest obviously artificial object anyone has ever seen has decided to appear.

It may be outside the borders of your space, having reached there at wank-- er, warp speed; it may be in the middle of the system you claim; it may be on the distant borders. But you can hardly fail to notice an object so monstrously large.

Specifically, it is three thousand kilometres or so in length, over five hundred in width, eighty in height, and constructed out of some shiny material, because shiny stuff is cool. Spaceports for civilian ships extend like thin arms from its sides, connected to the larger object by spacewalks, which are reinforced synthetic glass-covered walkways providing one with a full view of the cosmos. There are also hidden panels from which military ships can be launched, if there are any.

This object is, of course, the Neo-Czardaian Mothership. It carries nearly eight hundred million people, not to mention a miniature terraformation of their own within. They left Terra I in the Sol System in search of a new place to live two thousand years ago... but what, in Terran years at least, numbers in the scores of thousands.....

[57,000 years ago on Terra I]

The ship had set off now, very large for its time, almost a kilometre in length, and carrying a thousand, four hundred and forty individuals, 782 women and 658 men. They were one of the well-known communes, a peaceful anarcho-capitalist one made up of varying numbers of punk rockers, incensed debators, sex offenders, drug users, and even a lawyer.

As the vast vehicle rose upwards from Terra, the occupants held a party. This meant large quantities of drugs were passed around. The drugs had the odd effect of preservation in space, which proved quite helpful (and led to the unusually long lifespan of Czardaians today). Eventually all one thousand four hundred and forty individuals, and approximately two hundred and sixteen who would become individuals in nine months or so, were locked in a semi-cryogenic trance and would wake up with a very bad hangover in several thousand years.

The AI pilot of the ship dutifully set the velocity to somewhere in the high multiples of c, with the effect that life on the ship progressed approximately a thousand times slower than life on Earth. After approximately a week in the Mothership, which was about nineteen years back on Terra, the hangover wore off but the freezing remained, as the AI running the ship deemed it best. Coming out of warp speed after quite some time, emerging in a totally foreign cluster (let alone galaxy), the ship's population awoke to find themselves hundreds of years in the future. Upon being informed of this situation, an unreasonable homesickness overcame the ship's population and it began warping through hyperspace repeatedly in search of its home planet. After more of these journeys, which translated into approximately twenty-nine thousand years, the exact co-ordinates of Terra were discovered.

No planet had existed on that site for several thousand years. It had been completely vaporised in a nuclear explosion, along with all 100 trillion plus of its inhabitants.

Feeling somewhat cheated, the Czardaians set off on a journey to find a new planet, only to discover that during the experiment with their very unusual technology every planet within a thousand light-years of Terra had been colonised and terraformed ad nauseam. Jumping aimlessly from here to there, taking resources from abandoned planets to accomodate a growing population and letting the AIs process them into building more for the ship, we wind up in the present day: where said ship has arrived somewhere near your space.

It is still in search of a planet on which its occupants can settle.

And it bears mentioning that it is equipped with an adequate array of defensive armament (for those warmongers out there).
Derscon
13-07-2006, 03:01
OOC: Taggish.
The Cassiopeia Galaxy
13-07-2006, 18:52
The CNS Bodour was another corvette (http://starwars.wikia.com/images/2/2d/Endarconcept.jpg) scouting the system, or so they thought. See the navigational systems for it went bai bai. So now there were flying the unknown reaches of espace. Where anything could kill them, it was really quite scary. Of course they didn't realize that since half the crew was wasted and were doing things that if I were to describe them I would get banned. I will give you one clue though, donkey.

Right the Captain though, he was not wasted, he was a grand figure. He followed the rules and whatnot. He stood there in his uniform which suspeciously looked like a US Naval uniform stoically, guiding the ship to whatever was next and whatnot. Then he realized something.

They were lost.

The Captain looked at the star maps they had. "Ah s***." He said to himself. "Who the hell tampered with the navigational control?!"

Signs pointed to the donkey.

The Captain shrugged. "Bah, no matter. We'll just turn around and we'll be back. I mean we've been heading in the same direction for a few days. Then we'll just ZOMG WHAT'S THAT?!?!"

The CNS Bodour was heading smack dab for the giant ship of doom. The ensigns, half of them drunk were bawling their heads off. Some of them were admitting to having wives, others their homosexuality, and any other dirty secret that sounds funny that I've yet to think of. The Captain, angry at this display of cowardice took out his blaster and fired towards the roof.

PING. For that is the sound of a pistol.

"Shut up!" Then a piece of the room hit his head. "Ensign Uthera, try to avoid the ship. Ensign Scotty, contact this ship. Maybe they need help."

"Or maybe their hostile!" Said an observant Ensign.

The Captain scoffed. "That's why we have 250 Marines young man."

"Errrm." The Ensign paused. "Ah fifty sir... the donkey and whatnot."

"Bah!" The Captain said in frustration.

To: Unknown Large Ship
From: CNS Bodour

STOP! ZOMG YOU'RE GOING TO KEEL US. Oh and do you need help? With
that, ZOMG!
Derscon
14-07-2006, 03:34
"What in the name of God...?" The captain simply looked at the artificial monstrosity floating before his eyes in the depths of space. The XO came stumbling in with a bottle of vodka, and saw the Csardas ship.

"Jesus fucking christ thats a shittingly hugeass muthafuka!" And then proceeded to fall down on the floor, passed out. The Captain shook his head.

"Why do people curse? Such vulgarity..." He grunted and dragged the XO's body to the corner. "And he didn't even use half of them correctly. I need a new XO." The captain pulled out his sidearm and shot his XO in the head with a doubletap, and went back to his command station. He looked out the screen and set a course for the ship, praying it wasn't hostile.

"Sir!" The comm officer came on the bridge and handed him a message. "This was intercepted by the TCG ship." The Captain grunted.

"Wonderful. I am surrounded by idiots. Thank you, commander, I'll send a message to the Kremlin immediately." THe officer saluted and walked out. The captain shook his head as his battle group made its way to the monstrosity. Morons.

754|2,

\/\/3 |-|4\/3 |)!5[0\/3|23|) 4 57|24|\|63 5|-|!|> 0|_|7 |-|3|23. \/\/3 4|23 !|\|\/357!647!|\|6.

|-|^^55 4|_|70[|24[`/

The captain sent the message to the Kremlin and watched as the...thing...got closer.
Derscon
18-07-2006, 04:25
BUMP

Gotta keep 'er alive, Czardas is computer-deprived ATM
New Czardas
19-07-2006, 21:53
Update! I may have up to 2 hours of computer access per day. Unfortunately, it's not all consecutive, and the harddrive is periodically wiped clean of unnecessary data, which includes posts for NS. Sorry everyone, I'll post when I can.
Derscon
20-07-2006, 00:31
Update! I may have up to 2 hours of computer access per day. Unfortunately, it's not all consecutive, and the harddrive is periodically wiped clean of unnecessary data, which includes posts for NS. Sorry everyone, I'll post when I can.

OOC: You should get a disc or a jump drive.
New Czardas
30-07-2006, 02:06
OOC: You should get a disc or a jump drive.
Yeah, I know, I should.

Apparently my own computer will be repaired and brought to me late tomorrow, so I may have more consistent access after that.
Derscon
30-07-2006, 03:40
Yeah, I know, I should.

Apparently my own computer will be repaired and brought to me late tomorrow, so I may have more consistent access after that.

w00t!
New Czardas
04-08-2006, 00:21
The Central Czardaian Command Centre (CCCC) is perhaps the only part of the mothership that resembles a ship; the rest is terraformed to the point of almost being a planet in itself. It is located in the high upper wall, a series of compartments in the artificial sky wherein transmitters and receivers exist; the Cassiopeian message quietly insinuates itself into the various shiny and awesome-looking machines within and a young Comms Officer receives the historic words.

He is only about fifty-six years old, almost a quarter through his expected lifespan *sniff sniff*, and this is the first really important thing that has happened to his memory over the past twenty years of his work in Comms, first as an office boy and then as an officer. Therefore, he gets rather excited, spilling a caffeine-containing fluid onto his trousers as he yells at his superior to come over and see.

A 3D holo of that superior appears in front of the young officer, and an irritable voice says, "Yes, what is it now?"

"We've received a message that wasn't 'OMG WE'RE ATTACKING YUOU B/C WE'RE PIRATES BWAHAHAHA!', sir."

"Oh?"

"Yes, from a Cassopipa... Cassiosipia... Caposopisa... anyway, something with a lot of c's, s's, and p's in it, according to data we've collected using MAGIC!!!11one and a 'Net search for the matching IFF. What should we do sir?"

"Respond to it, maybe?"

"That's a good idea, sir," the young officer gapes. "I never would have thought of that! Thank you."

His superior groans as the hologram dissipates with a cool flickering effect integrated into v7.5.1 through v7.5.3 of Arcati™ RealHolo® holograph systems, settable by each holouser under the 'Personalise Your Avatar!' menu.

The young radio officer opens a channel to the CNS Bodour and transmits a brief message.

=== NEO CZARDAIAN MOTHERSHIP ===
<dep>Central Command Centre
<to>CNS Bodour (of Cassi, oh you know, Commonwealth
<encryp>01001101101000
<text> Whoops, incredibly sorry about that. I swear, I really have to talk to those engdar technicians about repairing our main array... Er, we don't particularly need much help, since we're kind of self-sufficient, although if you happen to know of ... a reasonably terraformed planet or something ... let us know by all means, because we're looking for one.

Er, I should also introduce us. We're the Neo Czardaians. And, um, we've been flying around space for a few thousand years. You have any good diplomats aboard or anything? Maybe you should just come aboard the Mothership and we'll show you around and...stuff.

<sender>Comms Officer Jim Skojollu


[Derscon; Response coming later.]
Derscon
04-08-2006, 01:01
Okay.
New Czardas
04-08-2006, 03:41
=== NEO CZARDAIAN MOTHERSHIP ===
<dep>Central Command Centre
<to>That other ship there.
<encryp>01001101101000
<text> Um, hey there. We noticed that you guys were just like flying around so we're wondering if you'd just like to, sorta, send some diplomats or something over if you have any, to get introduced and everything. 'Cause we really don't want to make enemies, you know? We just have to peace out, dude, and like try to get along and have some friendly competition and get LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEH!!!11one so yeah, you see those long ports extending from the Mothership, you can dock there or something. No seriously, we don't bite, much.

As to who we are... from comms chatter we've picked up you guys know the Cassiopeians, right? We explained it to them already so they might help you there.

<sender>Comms Officer Jim Skojollu

.
Derscon
04-08-2006, 05:39
"Captain!" The Captain of the small capital ship turned around to see the comm. officer. "Message for you, sir." The Captain turned around and took the message from the Czardasian vessal.

"Do we have a diplomat on board?" The Comm officer shook his head.

"Not that I know of."

"Then we'll get one." THe captain of the ship went to an ajoining room where there was a $wank_teleportation_device. THe captain typed in a few words, and a man appeared on the WTD. This man was a diplomat.

TO: Czardan Mothership
FROM: HMSS Autocracy

We do, in fact, have a diplomat on board. We thank you for your kind offer of a dock, and will take you up on it. We will arrive shortly.

The Captian set a course for the dock on the Mothership and proceeded to do so.

OOC: This post sucks, but I'm tired.
The Cassiopeia Galaxy
05-08-2006, 17:34
=== NEO CZARDAIAN MOTHERSHIP ===
<dep>Central Command Centre
<to>CNS Bodour (of Cassi, oh you know, Commonwealth
<encryp>01001101101000
<text> Whoops, incredibly sorry about that. I swear, I really have to talk to those engdar technicians about repairing our main array... Er, we don't particularly need much help, since we're kind of self-sufficient, although if you happen to know of ... a reasonably terraformed planet or something ... let us know by all means, because we're looking for one.

Er, I should also introduce us. We're the Neo Czardaians. And, um, we've been flying around space for a few thousand years. You have any good diplomats aboard or anything? Maybe you should just come aboard the Mothership and we'll show you around and...stuff.

<sender>Comms Officer Jim Skojollu



The Captain raised his brow. "Hm, look at that. A worldship, and I thought they only existed in crappy science fiction novels. Well errm, it didn't kill us but... meh. I'll send a message."

To: Communications Officer Jim Skojollu
From: Captain $Name of the CNS Bodour

I see, you need a planet? Well erm... I'm sure we can discuss that. Do you
guys have a hanger? We don't have a teleportational device, what we do have is a shuttle that is docked underneath our ship, maybe we could fly it
there and we can discuss the weather and whatnot. Or, we can just ignore
you and go on our business. Either way next time you go flying around, try
not to crush anything in your path mmk?

Oh and by the way, would you like a donkey?

(I'm just not in the mood to post...)