Anontoast
16-06-2006, 07:43
A few days ago, copies of the following letter found their way to the desks of government leaders the world over. More than one managed to slip into a newsroom, and so it is presented for you, the viewing public, here.
<National Leader>, Greetings,
My name is Christopher Carlson. Perhaps you have heard of my past exploits in local governments (as mayor, magistrate, alderman, etc.) across the world, or perhaps I have somehow managed to slip under your radar. It makes no difference either way, as in due time the entire world will know my name, and the name of the nation I lead.
It is entirely possible that your nation's seismologists (if any exist) have noted certain... irregularities... in their recent findings. These discrepancies in expected findings would be due to the fact that I and nearly ten million like-minded individuals have decided that certain aspects of our mother countries are far too permissive, too lenient in all aspects of life. Leniency leads to debauchery, permissiveness to the decay of society.
It is with this in mind that over the past years, we have developed a nation of our own, deep underground where we shall neither intrude in your lives and property, nor you in ours.
Mr./Mrs. <National Leader>, it is with great pride and overwhelming joy that, as first ruler-for-life, I announce to you today the birth of a nation: the Principality of Anontoast.
You may perhaps be wondering why I have sent you this letter, acknowledging the existence of a nation that does not wish to interfere or be interfered with. The first reason is this: ten million people do not simply vanish from the surface of the earth. Inquiries will be made. Therefore, please find inside this envelope a 'flash drive' containing the name and home country of each founding citizen of the Principality of Anontoast.
The second reason is that, like any relatively sane leader, I wish to create and maintain diplomatic ties with your government. Please accept, as an opening gesture of goodwill, the fruit basket that should be arriving in the next few days.
I thank you for your time in reading this letter, and hope this may be the start of a beautiful friendship between our respective nations.
Sincerely,
GEN. CHRISTOPHER R. CARLSON
General Christopher R. Carlson, Benevolent Ruler of the Principality of Anontoast
P.S.: Should you desire further contact with the nation of Anontoast, do not hesitate to send me a telegram or simply reply to this letter
<National Leader>, Greetings,
My name is Christopher Carlson. Perhaps you have heard of my past exploits in local governments (as mayor, magistrate, alderman, etc.) across the world, or perhaps I have somehow managed to slip under your radar. It makes no difference either way, as in due time the entire world will know my name, and the name of the nation I lead.
It is entirely possible that your nation's seismologists (if any exist) have noted certain... irregularities... in their recent findings. These discrepancies in expected findings would be due to the fact that I and nearly ten million like-minded individuals have decided that certain aspects of our mother countries are far too permissive, too lenient in all aspects of life. Leniency leads to debauchery, permissiveness to the decay of society.
It is with this in mind that over the past years, we have developed a nation of our own, deep underground where we shall neither intrude in your lives and property, nor you in ours.
Mr./Mrs. <National Leader>, it is with great pride and overwhelming joy that, as first ruler-for-life, I announce to you today the birth of a nation: the Principality of Anontoast.
You may perhaps be wondering why I have sent you this letter, acknowledging the existence of a nation that does not wish to interfere or be interfered with. The first reason is this: ten million people do not simply vanish from the surface of the earth. Inquiries will be made. Therefore, please find inside this envelope a 'flash drive' containing the name and home country of each founding citizen of the Principality of Anontoast.
The second reason is that, like any relatively sane leader, I wish to create and maintain diplomatic ties with your government. Please accept, as an opening gesture of goodwill, the fruit basket that should be arriving in the next few days.
I thank you for your time in reading this letter, and hope this may be the start of a beautiful friendship between our respective nations.
Sincerely,
GEN. CHRISTOPHER R. CARLSON
General Christopher R. Carlson, Benevolent Ruler of the Principality of Anontoast
P.S.: Should you desire further contact with the nation of Anontoast, do not hesitate to send me a telegram or simply reply to this letter