NationStates Jolt Archive

His royal majesty, King Arthur II, has today made an announcement that there is a position opening for a new court jester. We welcome anyone from any nationality. Anyone wishing to apply must send a letter explaining why you think you would be suitable for this job. We require you to provide a reference and give details about yourself. Those who interest us will be asked to visit the King for an audition, expenses for this trip will be paid for by the crown. We are looking for someone with high intellect who can entertain the royal family, and make a fool of His Majestys rivals with clever insults and mockery. Other things that we will be looking out for are acrobatic skills, musical talents, good storytelling and poetry recital. You may wear whatever clothes you wish, although those who dress comically may have a better chance of getting the position of court jester. You will be provided with quarters in the royal palace, and you will eat at the table of the king and share his beer.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

This is worse than marriage threads.................

This is worse than marriage threads.................
heh heh...sorry! :p

lol, np

lol, np
If it bothers you that much, I'll go and make a marriage thread right now if you want.
Just give me a min...:rolleyes:

If it bothers you that much, I'll go and make a marriage thread right now if you want.
Just give me a min...:rolleyes:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Melts*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Melts*
See, it's not that bad. At least it's different, right?

lol

lol
If you do that melting trick again I might give you the job. :)

What kind of salary are we talking about here?

Dwel, sit down and shutup or go away, this idea rules.

What kind of salary are we talking about here?
Traditionaly the court jester is paid in beer. You will also be given tips depending on how well you perform. The king is quite generous.

Dwel, sit down and shutup or go away, this idea rules.

Hmm sounds like you need to do the same.

Dwel, sit down and shutup or go away, this idea rules.
Thank you. This is the first time I've ventured away from Generalland. It's good to get a nice responce from somebody. :)

Thank you. This is the first time I've ventured away from Generalland. It's good to get a nice responce from somebody. :)
"Nice". Hahaha. :p

"Nice". Hahaha. :p
Oh, he was being sarcastic. *sigh*

Oh, he was being sarcastic. *sigh*
Actually, Matt wasn't. Or are you talking about yourself in the third person?

To: His Royal Majesty, King Arthur II

I have heard of your search for a court jester and would be interested in applying for the position. My name is Reginald Gerrard, thought I commonly go by Reggie and I believe I would be suitable.

I am unsure what type of reference you are looking for, be it past employment, training or educational. Once that issue is confirmed, I shall be glad to provide you with references.

Thank you for your time and consideration, Reg.

To: His Royal Majesty, King Arthur II

I have heard of your search for a court jester and would be interested in applying for the position. My name is Reginald Gerrard, thought I commonly go by Reggie and I believe I would be suitable.

I am unsure what type of reference you are looking for, be it past employment, training or educational. Once that issue is confirmed, I shall be glad to provide you with references.

Thank you for your time and consideration, Reg.
Dear Reggie.
The reason I require a reference is because I don't want anyone applying just to get a free holiday at the royal palace. I want to check that you are genuinely interested in this job. Any of those you listed would be fine as a reference. I will also be asking if they think you are suitable for this job, I will check to see if they find you an intellegent and amusing guy.
I would also like to know if you have had any previous experience as a jester or if you have had any similar jobs, such as a pop singer or a clown. This is not nessesary as full training will be given, but it may help your chances.

To: His Royal Majesty, King Arthur II

While I do not have prior employment as a court jester I do have educational references and gymnastics and contortionist training, as well as some experiance in serving as a com. I have a joint degree in English and Psychology. I have also been a jester in RenFairs.

I thank you again for your time and consideration, Reg

To: His Royal Majesty, King Arthur II

While I do not have prior employment as a court jester I do have educational references and gymnastics and contortionist training, as well as some experiance in serving as a com. I have a joint degree in English and Psychology. I have also been a jester in RenFairs.

I thank you again for your time and consideration, Reg
I have gotten in touch with your reference, and she said some rather nice things about you. It seems that you are rather popular. You do seem to have a lot of experiences that are relevant to this job. I would be interested in talking to you in person. I have enclosed a plane ticket for you to visit my country. You will be met at the airport and taken to be introduced to King Arthur II, where he will judge your performance. Have a safe journey!

To: His Royal Majesty, King Arthur II

Thank you for considering me for the job. I shall be there promptly, after any snafu with the airport security is taken care of.

Thank you for your time and consideration, Reg


Reginald packed and caught the plane to British Stereotypes, wondering how open to negotiations they'd be if he got accepted as a candidate.

To His Majesty King Arthur II,
My name is Teddy Willis. I have perforemed for many people and was the personal comedian to the President of Londim. I am well known in my nation for my humour. I am looking for new audiences and your call for a jester has been answered by an incompetent oaf. So consider my application good King.

Fare the well
Teddy Willis
A swimming pool of treacle,
The Democratic Republic of Londim

To His Majesty King Arthur II,
My name is Teddy Willis. I have perforemed for many people and was the personal comedian to the President of Londim. I am well known in my nation for my humour. I am looking for new audiences and your call for a jester has been answered by an incompetent oaf. So consider my application good King.

Fare the well
Teddy Willis
A swimming pool of treacle,
The Democratic Republic of Londim
Dear Teddy.
Your prior experiences as a comedian to various important people are impressive, as is your fame in your home nation. There is a plane ticket enclosed in this letter as the King has granted you an audience with him. Have a pleasant trip.

To His Majesty King Arthur II,

I thank you for your plane ticket. Its a bit like a golden ticket out of Willy Wonka which if you change just slightly..no I'l stop there for there maybe children reading this letter. My bags are packed, my kettlefish are in the kettle and I look forward to an audience with Your Majesty.

Until our meeting, Goodbye.

Teddy Willis

Teddy and Reggie are met at the airport by an old man.
'Congratulations, you are the first two to arrive' he said, shaking their hands.

Behind him a rather eccentrically dressed woman capers around madly.
'If you so wish' he continues, 'you may ask the current court jester here any questions about the job. She is due to retire soon, but is helping the King find a good replacement'
She sticks out her tongue childishly at them both. :p

"Thank you." Reggie replied before turning to the man who'd arrived at about time, "Greetings my good foeman, may your barbs be blunt and your wit fit only for a dullard."

He then turned to the soon to be retireing jester. "How does his royalness enjoy his tomfoolery?"

"Thank you." Reggie replied before turning to the man who'd arrived at about time, "Greetings my good foeman, may your barbs be blunt and your wit fit only for a dullard."

He then turned to the soon to be retireing jester. "How does his royalness enjoy his tomfoolery?"
The jester stops her wild capering and replies, 'His Majesty delights in the arts, he is fond of good music and poetry. His wife is amused by gossip and mockery of our nations popstars and other nobles. His youngest children enjoy to watch me make a fool of myself' She mutters what sounds like 'the little monsters' before jumping away and starts cartwheeling around the airport.

Reggie nodded and smiled, it would be interesting to see if he could play to the audiences, ranging from the high-brow to the low-brow.

'Well lets get going shall we?' says the old man. He walks you outside the airport and hails down a horse driven cab.
'And you sit still!' He tells the jester.
'Sorry' she says. Then sighs. 'I'm going to miss this this job, and even those horrible little children.'
She looks at you both, 'It amuses the kids if you tease them and call them names. They are not used to it, you see. Everyone else is so polite to the royal children.'
Then she springs into the cab and shouts. 'To the palace!'

Reggie chuckled as he got into the cab. Provided salary and contract were workable, this job seemed like it would be most enjoyable.

The cab pulls up outside the palace. The old man steps down and holds the cab door open for Reggie and Teddy.
'Stop playing around and pay the man' He tells the jester, who is performing coin tricks for the cab driver.
'Spoilsport!' She calls him, dancing a gold coin across her knuckles.
She finally gives the man the coin, who is most grateful for her generosity.
'This way to the palace' She says, pointing to the castle right in front of her. 'Don't get lost now old man!'

Reggie smiled as he got out of the cab. The jester was an outstanding actress and magician. He decided to brush up on his slight of hand, as he followed them into the palace.

Reggie smiled as he got out of the cab. The jester was an outstanding actress and magician. He decided to brush up on his slight of hand, as he followed them into the palace.
'The king has arranged to meet you in the morning, but for now I will give you a tour of the castle.' says the old man.
'Show them my room first.' says the jester. 'That's where they will be staying, if they get this job.'
She directs them to some stairs going downwards.
'Stop that!' Says the old man. 'They won't be living there, that is the castles dungeon.'
He looks apolegeticly at Reggie and Teddy. 'I'll take you to the rooms His Majesty has provided for you to stay in for the night, shall I?'

"That sounds fine, now lead on mine intrepid guide and welcomer." He replied, adding, "Would the fine fool pay me a visit later?" He directed the question to the present jester.

"That sounds fine, now lead on mine intrepid guide and welcomer." He replied, adding, "Would the fine fool pay me a visit later?" He directed the question to the present jester.
She raises an eyebrow, 'What are you suggesting? That I visit you for some hanky-panky in the night? I'm a married woman you know. That's why I'm retiring, to start my own family in peace.'
She starts to pull out various objects from her large pockets, finally revealing a golden ring. She pulls of a red and white striped glove and puts on the ring, showing it of.
'See. I'm spoken for. Although under different circumstances...'

"Alas my intentions are far more honourable fair maker of mirth. I simply wished to pick your brain of information rather than feast upon your fine form." He replied with a grin.

"Alas my intentions are far more honourable fair maker of mirth. I simply wished to pick your brain of information rather than feast upon your fine form." He replied with a grin.
'I am offended!' she claims with a grin of her own. 'My beauty is such that no man could think of anything else but having his way with me.'
She starts to show of, flipping around the castles corridors, the bells on her ankles ringing pleasantly.

"Then you may call me NoMan." He replied with a chuckle, joining her in acrobatics by taking two steps forward, faking a fall and rolling up so he was standing on his hands, at which point he began walking on his hands.

"Then you may call me NoMan." He replied with a chuckle, joining her in acrobatics by taking two steps forward, faking a fall and rolling up so he was standing on his hands, at which point he began walking on his hands.
The old man claps his hands. 'Clever acrobatics sir, you will do well.'
The jester flips back onto her feet. 'Oh no! The old man finds you fun to watch. It is well known that he has no sence of humor whatsoever. If he thinks you will win, then that must be bad.'
'I never said that I think he will win.' he said stiffly. 'It is up to the King to decide.'

"I take it there is a bit of rivalery between the two of you?" He asked as he rolled onto his feet. "But if I can amuse the man without a sense of humour..."

ooc: Gone for the night.

OOC: Any more potential jesters out there? I wouldn't want to give the job to this guy just because he is the only person that turns up. I want to see some competition. Don't bother writing the letter if you don't want to, just turn up at the palace gates and introduce yourself.

OCC: I'm game

Dan walked up to the gate "Hey, I'm here for the jester gig"

OCC: I'm game

Dan walked up to the gate "Hey, I'm here for the jester gig"
A lovely young woman in a red and white stripey costume prances up, bells ringing merrily.
'Well come on in, quickly now!' She drags him inside the castle.
'The king would like to audition you tomorrow morning, until then I will show you around. If you have any questions, then please ask.'
As they enter the castle, a gang of young children rushes up to greet them.
'Are you going to be the new jester. Do something funny!' One child of about five years of age commands you, whilst his twin brother pokes you.