NationStates Jolt Archive

((OOC: In light of people bitching about marriage RPs...))

Yes, that is right folks. After a short meeting early Friday evening, the Reich interior ministry has determined that the evil and disgusting substance known as Mayonnaise is to be banned immediately through out the entire Tocrowkian Reich!

"Not only does it make people look like they've just come from a porno movie set when it's splattered all over their lips, it taste's disgusting and it is fattening like nothing else!" - Random Government Official

And so it began. Into the evening, one of the largest producers of this...condiment, if you can call it that, production facility was raided by Special Forces HALOed into the area. Within two hours, 36 security personnel were dead, 72 wounded and 56 more missing. Two Special Forces members were mildly injured in the raid.

The CEO was arrested earlier today by Police officers, and is currently being held for questioning. Mayo, in all of it's forms is also currently being removed from shelves everywhere. Updates on the situation as they come in.


Article on the front page of "The Pharamas Times"

Hmmm....does that include non-fat, lite, sugar-free, canola-oil based saltless sandwich spreads?

Whoo I hate Mayo

Hmmm....does that include non-fat, lite, sugar-free, canola-oil based saltless sandwich spreads?

No, it does not. We are keeping those around so the Mayo addicts will convert.

-Reich Foreign Ministry-

Mayonnaise is nasty.
-Offical Zumoritan Position

Hey, without Mayo, you can't have Kraft's pasta salad.
And without Kraft's pasta salad, is life truly worth living?

Hey, without Mayo, you can't have Kraft's pasta salad.
And without Kraft's pasta salad, is life truly worth living?

Pasta salad is nasty.

-Reich Foreign Ministry-

No, it does not. We are keeping those around so the Mayo addicts will convert.

-Reich Foreign Ministry-

I hereby announce the opening of the Counseling Center for Ex-Mayo Addiction Therapies. Included in the therapy sessions are methods for dealing with the withdrawal of Mayo, the psycho-symbiotic access processes of the Mayo-saturated brain, and a free, one-year subscription to the " Sandwich Spread Times."


****no connection to the Mayo Clinic is intended****

Pasta salad is nasty.

-Reich Foreign Ministry-
Heretic.

How will we make our tuna fish sandwiches? ;_;

Heretic.

The correct term would be heretics, considering we are an organization made up of thousands of people.

-Reich Foreign Ministry-

Franberry Decleares war on Tocrowkia!!

Unless the people of Tocrowkia are given back their Mayonnaise, Franberry shall lay waste to the nation. Franberry asks that for their sake, the Tocrowkians recrat their infringment on the Rights of Man, and give the populace back their mayonnaise. If this is done in the next 24 hours, we shall recrat our declaration of war.

How will we make our tuna fish sandwiches? ;_;


Use " Big Al's" Organic Protein Spread! Made from a delicious blend of sheep stomach lining, brandy, deoxyribonucleic acid, and lard. Order today and get a free subscription to " Stomach Pump Digest."

Franberry Decleares war on Tocrowkia!!

Unless the people of Tocrowkia are given back their Mayonnaise, Franberry shall lay waste to the nation. Franberry asks that for their sake, the Tocrowkians recrat their infringment on the Rights of Man, and give the populace back their mayonnaise. If this is done in the next 24 hours, we shall recrat our declaration of war.

Why should we pay any heed to a nation that cannot spell "Retract" right in an official Government statement? Answer is, we do not.

-Reich Foreign Ministry-

Why should we pay any heed to a nation that cannot spell "Retract" right in an official Government statement? Answer is, we do not.

-Reich Foreign Ministry-
Official Statement to the Goverment of Tocrowkia
D'ol you got us
*D'oh

At least we caught it this time, we dont have spellcheck :(, its broken, it works in French tho

Amd you say sending spec ops to kill homosexuals is stupid.

Official Statement of the Ministry for Responding To Ridiculous Posts In the International Incidents Forum, Telling People To Read The Stickies, And/Or Vomiting On Poor, Innocent, and Smiley-Spamming Newbies

We support Das Reich's actions in these endeavours; mayonnaise is icky! If we had the authority to, we'd have it all removed from every shelf in Czardas! Unfortuntately, we're only allowed to respond to ridiculous posts in the International Incidents forum, tell people to read the stickies, and/or vomit on poor, innocent, and smiley-spamming newbies, but you have our moral support at the very least!

~ The Ministry

Franberry Decleares war on Tocrowkia!!

Unless the people of Tocrowkia are given back their Mayonnaise, Franberry shall lay waste to the nation. Franberry asks that for their sake, the Tocrowkians recrat their infringment on the Rights of Man, and give the populace back their mayonnaise. If this is done in the next 24 hours, we shall recrat our declaration of war.
BREAKING NEWS!
The Minister of Minding Other Peoples Business,today released a statement today supporting the Nation-State of Franberry in their declaration of war on the heathen people of Tocrowkia.
This government support of the war effort was further backed when our beloved Overlord threatened the use of W.M.D's if Tocrowkia Continues on denying it's people one of the most basic rights of egg yolk, oil and vinegar for one day longer.

BREAKING NEWS!
The Minister of Minding Other Peoples Business today has released a statement today supporting the Nation-State of Franberry in their declaration of war on the heathen people of Tocrowkia.
This government support of the war effort was further backed when our beloved Overlord threatened the use of W.M.D's if Tocrowkia Continues on denying it's people one of the most basic rights of egg yolk, oil and vinegar for one day longer.

I wouldnt take it that far.........

We can repel any W.M.D attack with our advanced ABM stations. Threat ignored.

-Reich Foreign Ministry-

In response to this Zackaroth begins to contruct WMMs. Weapons of Mass mayo

In response to this Zackaroth begins to contruct WMMs. Weapons of Mass mayo

*Crickets churping*

But this is mayannoaise,MAYONNAISE the most holiest and delicious of condiements ever created!

But this is mayannoaise,MAYONNAISE the most holiest and delicious of condiements ever created!

Yes if you want to die of a heart attack young........

Yes if you want to die of a heart attack young........
No one dies young of a heart attack, unless they have a heart condition.

If you get old enough to die of heart-clogging, really, it's time to die.

No one dies young of a heart attack, unless they have a heart condition.

If you get old enough to die of heart-clogging, really, it's time to die.

Blood clott same thing :p

Yes if you want to die of a heart attack young........
That is my right as a living breathing human.

That is my right as a living breathing human.Indeed it is your right to kill your self young. But in good govorments they dont let you.

Indeed it is your right to kill your self young. But in good govorments they dont let you.
then they're not a good goverment, as they're infringing on your rights

Exactly if i want to eat mayonaise,get fat and die i should be allowed to.PERIOD.

Marcus Ohyay grinned from his ambassadorial based in Omygodtheykilledkenny, a new illegal substance to sell on the black market, fifty dollars a jar sent in secretly in tuna shipments, rolled up carpets, and stuffed teddy bears. A very lucrative market to make a new fortune on.

Message from the Ministry of Stupidity; Minister Leroy Jeknins

We whole heartadly support the banning of Mayo; this substance should be erased from the earth and throw our full support to Tocrowkia in the event of any military engagment or use of WMD's on Tocrowkia.

Thank you.

You horrible, monsters! Consider a battlefleet built in response. Re-allow the use of Mayo or face the consequences.

The Jenrakian Lords of All-things Obscure

then they're not a good goverment, as they're infringing on your rights

Actully no they'er not. There doing whats best for you. Taking care of you which is what govorments are for. Not letting the populess run wild doing anything they want saying "Its our right" Which is BS. If its wrong its the govorments job to stop it.

OOC: Finally a thread about Mayo, what I've always wanted.

The Leafanistani Red Mafia leaped upon the oppurtunity to sell Mayonnaise in Tocrowkia. Soon legitimate transports were hiding Mayonnaise packets being sold on the street for $.50 each (equivalent I mean), while it seemed cheap, the packets cost about $.04 to mass produce and the Mafia hoped the profit would soon be massive.

OOC: You know what would be hilarious. The Underground Mayonnaise wars between the Leafanistani Red Mafia and other groups as they try to corner the illegal condiments industry.

OOC: Finally a thread about Mayo, what I've always wanted.

The Leafanistani Red Mafia leaped upon the oppurtunity to sell Mayonnaise in Tocrowkia. Soon legitimate transports were hiding Mayonnaise packets being sold on the street for $.50 each (equivalent I mean), while it seemed cheap, the packets cost about $.04 to mass produce and the Mafia hoped the profit would soon be massive.

OOC: You know what would be hilarious. The Underground Mayonnaise wars between the Leafanistani Red Mafia and other groups as they try to corner the illegal condiments industry.

OOC: XDDD!!

You made me ROFL IRL. Thanks Leafanistan :D!

OOC: Who is in for the underground Mayo wars?

((OOC: Oooh! Oooh! I am!))

((OOC: Oooh! Oooh! I am!))

How much police presense will this have?

Trutoyu is generally slightly in favour of banning mayonnaise, yet the slightly larger people state that "it can be delicious in small quantities". Perhaps a new condiment is due to be invented?

((OOC: My nation is very draconian...so a lot.))

((OOC: My nation is very draconian...so a lot.))

OOC: Any unseemly places we can hide? Are hte police very corrupt and bribeable?

OOC: Any unseemly places we can hide? Are hte police very corrupt and bribeable?

((OOC: Well, my capital is a very, very large city with a huge population. Lots of abandoned warehouses and such. And while the PD is pretty clean as a whole, certain CO's are rather corrupt, yes,.))

The ASIF is...quite mystified at the actions of the Tocrowkian Reich, to say the least. Suddenly, "madmen" doesn't seem to do justice to the level of inanity in the international community.

OOC for those who might think this is stupid, look up Singapore and it's Gum ban. Well, that one makes more sense I guess :-P.

[ Real life doesn't make it any less silly. ;p ]

Yeah...maybe the Mayo Wars can start when a smuggler from Tocrowkia is found with 50 packets of mayo hidden in a body cavity. The strip search ignites a gun battle which spreads throughout the country in a civil war and then a multi-national force.................etc.

OOC: Do you mind if I RP the setup already?

The Mafia had moved in already to try to cater to illegitimate interests in Tocrowkia's capital many years ago and bribed the local CO of the police to ignore a few shakedowns and active inactive warehouses. With the Mayonaise ban, the Mafia had now found a new and delicious market.

Soon empty ketchup packages, shipped bulk from Saharistan were being pumped full of Mayonnaise and were appearing on the street for .50 Assairuguard each. Highway robbery man people claimed, but it was necessary to get a good sandwich. While various sandwich spreads tasted like Mayonnaise there was just something missing, something people had to have.

Soon enough packets of alternative sandwich spreads were being filled with real mayonnaise and sold for the same price.

Indeed it is your right to kill your self young. But in good govorments they dont let you.

I wonder if good governments also teach you to spell correctly...