Mail Order Brides [Storefront]
Whyatica
10-06-2006, 05:20
Welcome to the Independent Whyatican Mail Order Bride Centre!
Welcome to the Independent Whyatican Mail Order Bride Centre & Storefront. We sell the best brides for your men, women (if they're so inclined), and royalty! In the MOBC, we have nothing but top quality women and will meet your every choice. We have the highest-end cloning technology leftover from the 25-year Kraven Whyatica occupation of our lands, and we can make your experience the best possible.
Completed Sales: 1
Total Revenue: $3.75 billion dollars
Total Profits: $1.5 billion dollars
Prices:
Average Looking Woman, Independent Whyatican Descent:
$50,000
Model-Quality Woman, Independent Whyatican Descent:
$150,000
Specialised Clone, Clone Descent:
$1,000,000 and above
Jaredcohenia
10-06-2006, 05:26
Could we get a chimera of Eva Longoria, Jessica Alba, and Keira Knightly?
Thanks.
Mer des Ennuis
10-06-2006, 05:30
I want an unholy mix of the above, but with some george clooney thrown in for good measure. The more genetic defects, the better!
Whyatica
10-06-2006, 05:36
From the office of Bob Kramer, CEO of IWMOCB
To; Mer des Ennuis
Your order has been approved! Our genetic computer scientists have come up with this detailed composite;
http://www.digital-laughter.com/images/artist/ugly.jpeg
The subject's code number is 991414.
Thanks,
Bob Kramer
Jaredcohenia
10-06-2006, 05:37
Picture scare kitty D:
cant stop laughing help can't breath laughing to hard.
[NS]Zukariaa
10-06-2006, 05:43
The Kraven Slave State of Zukariaa finds the above woman absolutely beautiful. We order 5000 of that exact type.
Our men are goin' on holiday, tonight!!
Whyatica
10-06-2006, 05:45
From the office of Bob Kramer, CEO of IWMOCB
To: Zukariaa
Um...gross. I guess your order is approved. The total charge is 3.75 billion dollars USD. Cloning will be begun upon wire confirmation.
Thanks,
Bob Kramer
Zukariaa']The Kraven Slave State of Zukariaa finds the above woman absolutely beautiful. We order 5000 of that exact type.
Our men are goin' on holiday, tonight!!
(recovers from uncontrolable laughter only to fall back into it)
[NS]Zukariaa
10-06-2006, 05:50
From the office of Bob Kramer, CEO of IWMOCB
To: Zukariaa
Um...gross. I guess your order is approved. The total charge is 3.75 billion dollars USD. Cloning will be begun upon wire confirmation.
Thanks,
Bob Kramer
To: Bob Kramer
Gross indeed. *sounds of licking lips*
*shudder*
..sorry.. The money has been wired over..
Whyatica
10-06-2006, 05:52
Economy Model Released!
Our brilliant genetic scientists have created a new model for sale; It's been jokingly called the 'Economy Model', and it stuck. Here is the computer simulated image;
http://i.xanga.com/GigiBeMe/UGLY%20GUY%20copy.gif
Each model costs $15,000.
hey it looks like your mother!(just kidding i have no idea what your mom actually looks like)
Mer des Ennuis
10-06-2006, 06:21
The Armed Republic would like to purchase 16,363 of our requested wo/men for our first national guard division. We feel that s/he will be more than suitable for our purposes.
Zukariaa']The Kraven Slave State of Zukariaa finds the above woman absolutely beautiful. We order 5000 of that exact type.
Our men are goin' on holiday, tonight!!
*gags a bit*
From: Allied Union of Velkya
To: Whyatica
The Allied Union condemns...uh...that's just fucked up...nevermind...
-Transmission Ended-
The Xeno
10-06-2006, 08:18
Sigh.. in the spirit of it all.
http://biboz.net/feos/8_ugly_people.jpg
Jesuites
10-06-2006, 08:28
Well well well
We are not in need of any bride (female or male)...
however a nation friend of us is in need to get rid of lotta females.
These gay suckers (sic) would negotiate their stock by dozens just to make things easy.
Each lot will be accompanied with 2 eunuques and some food and beverage for the live stock of brides.
Any arrangements would be made through our channels as the concerned happy (should I say gay?) nation is mainly shy when women are in view.
We think to understand frankly your trouble, however the stock is robust and of a good origins (pedigree join with the invoice). A small tax (we prefer to say donation) is taken by our church for the in-current expenses to deal that business.
The High Priest
- Pimp -
No_State_At_All
10-06-2006, 12:15
*looks scared*
"remember lads, a mail-order-bride's not just for christmas, its for life..."
[NS]Errinundera
10-06-2006, 12:32
Sigh.. in the spirit of it all.
It was worth getting up today just to see that.
Whyatica
10-06-2006, 17:07
From the office of Bob Kramer, CEO of IWMOCB
To: Mer des Ennuis
Your order has been approved for $16,363,000,000. Cloning will begin upon confirmation of wire transfer.
Thanks,
Bob Kramer
Mer des Ennuis
10-06-2006, 18:05
Greetings comrad!
I have ordered the production of a $16,363,000,000 bill with Walter Mondale's face on it. It is being carried via diplomatic courier.