NationStates Jolt Archive


Royal Love (Not a marriage thread, yet anyway)

Alcona and Hubris
10-06-2006, 05:02
OOC: Seems I need to explain this thread, rather than the apparent ton of marriage threads out there this is really about connecting 'real' characters to each other, not just 'designed' characters for a particular newbie I need a husband/wife thread. It is also partly humorous as commerical number two will demonstrate soon enough
KIOF proudly introduces a new program to help busy Royals and their families meet one of life’s greatest needs….the need for love…

Are you an Emperor, King, Prince, Duke, or even just a Despot who has discovered that your run to power, or your royal duties, don’t leave much time for dating, let alone finding a date?

Perhaps you’re an Empress, Queen, Princes, or Duchess who needs a prince or princess charming from outside your normal social circle?

Well it is time for you to get with the current century and outsource that little annoying problem of finding a lover and mate to people who have the time to find the perfect match for you
http://www.frankyandminx.com/fmv3/media/Campbells-heart-wingsTatoos.jpg
We are Royal Blood International, and we specialize in meeting the romance needs of the rulers of Earth and the entire galaxy.

Why would any self respecting Royal need RBI’s assistance?
Because the world is full of your equals to have the same problems that you are facing. Living in a world where security is a must and personal time is at a minimum.

Is RBI just another dating service that the common people use?
No we are specifically designed for those of royal blood, and those who rule like kings and queens. We offers services which the common man or woman does not need and can not afford.
We only look at commoners when needed by one of our clients, and then only at uncommon commoners.

What does RBI do beyond handing off phone numbers like those pleblian establishments you've heard?
We go that extra step that only a ruler deserves or needs:
Time management
RBI draws its personnel from the world’s greatest courtiers and bureaucrats. We can make time for that desired date even if the pesky Prime Minister wants you opening up a hospital just before a bye election, or the Generalissimo seems to be eyeing your chair a little too greedily. We assure you that you have time for your romantic activities, and make sure only important problems need interupt.

Through Background Checks and specialized Security
RBI understands that your enemies might send in a ringer. You take them out on a romantic evening of dinner and dancing, they repay it by putting a forty five slug through your skull. Sometimes even if their not there to kill you, it may still ruin a perfectly good evening when your security team tackles them for pulling lipstick out of their purse.
RBI makes sures all of our clients dates are both not hired assassins and making sure that they are not carrying any concealed weapons. We do our best to make our clients, and their security teams, happy.

Arranging the Details
RBI understands that trying to get the opposition to listen to reason, and keeping various other problems at bay make trying to arrange the details of a romantic evening difficult at best. And god save the poor soul who dumps the requirement on some schemeing member of the court. It may work, or it may turn out your reserved at a place with barrels for seats and an odd stench coming from the kitchen.
That is why RBI handles the details, you can be as involved or remote as need be for your current situation. RBI will make sure all the bases are covered and that the evening is planned to perfection. And RBI also keeps tabs on the evening in case any unexpected problems might occur. No matter what your personal RBI advisor will be nearby to handle any emergency.

Security?
Please those people can turn a romantic evening into a reenactment of the D-day invasion in a second. RBI makes sure everyone is happy on your date, we make plans with both your personal security and their personal security in the loop. We deal with the turf wars so you can focus on your national goals and your romantic intrest; not the the angry grunts between the people ment to protect you.

RBI even has our own highly guarded tropical island of 231 sq miles with his and hers (or hers and hers or his and his) security bases; for those times when you want to be away from the public eye. We even have a few hundred actors on call to make it appear your enjoying some time on a nice tropical island like any normal couple.

If you’re a ruler, or a royal, looking for love…contact RBI today to start your search for your perfect mate.


Please have the following information available along with a major credit card with at least a 100,000 USD credit limit:
Name:
Nation:
Title:
Age:
Sex:
Height:
Weight:
Race: (as in Human, Elf, Vrakian…etc)
Eye Color:
Hair Color:
Favorite activities:
What you look for in a mate:
Perfered Sex:
Perfered Age:
Other important information:
One of our personal advisors will contact you after you register
Thank You from all of us at RBI…
Alcona and Hubris
10-06-2006, 17:30
It would seem that the world's rulers desire:

Plastic Playmates perhaps?
Alcona and Hubris
10-06-2006, 19:46
http://www.frankyandminx.com/fmv3/media/Campbells-heart-wingsTatoos.jpg
Royal Blood International would like to introduce to you one of the newest happy couples that we have brought together

http://www.bursarvixen.com/feature_product/rob_anybody_feegle_small.jpg
This is Laird Gregor Festleidnissimcuff, Ruler of the city state of Festel within the Federated Klatchian Coast.
“Aye, I contacted RBI when my previous date proved to be a member of the Josefnicarminat Clan. By the end of the evening she was trying to hack off my wedd’n tackle with a blunt butter knife. Its not easy find’n a mate when your trying to keep the local clans from backstabb’n ya to death. Or keep an eye on that blasted Dyellian Emperor Soult’s minions. Aye so I hire’d me RBI, and they found me a philly who is a real woman, loyal…true…and doesn’t care I’m only four foot two and blue…”

So who did we find that would be the perfect match for the Laird you may ask. Obviously we needed a woman of distinction, class, and an ability to deal with the rather difficult political situations that the Laird faces at home. As well as not having a problem with his short stature and odd coloring.
RBI’s dedicated staff searched our archives for the perfect match, and we found Lai Chin Ho
http://www.irinnews.org/webspecials/nepal/images/2005121512.jpg
Lai Chin is a former leader of a group of revolutionaries from Tanah Burung. Lai Chin was feeling rather despondent over the recent peace in her land and was looking for new and exciting horizons.
“At first…At first I could not believe that RTI..RBI wanted me to meet this man…I mean I am a rebel, not some princess. But they assured me that I was a perfect fit. And then I met him…I am a short woman, but he is shorter than I…and blue…at first I thought that he had covered himself in paint…but no…he was the color of the sea…At first I was not that keen on him…but then he began to swear about all the people who were trying to kill him…I felt a connection…and then when we shared an intimate moment…I discovered that he was mounted with an elephant’s…”
Yes…well enough from Lai Chin…

Anyway here are a few of the responses we got from local nobility and royalty on the upcoming nuptials of Gregor and Lin
http://i.tvspielfilm.de/img/gen/F/E/HBFEAb7a4qh_Pxgen_r_164xA_1x1_297784.jpg
Margravine Both
That maniac can find a wife and I have trouble finding a date?
New RBI Client!

http://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/permanent/ocean/images/01_dioramas/features/06_walrus/walrus1.jpg
Vrakian Prince Paul
Perhaps RBI can find me someone too!
New RBI Client!

http://www.askmen.com/imagesmodel/mar00/millajovovich/milla_jovovich_150.JPG
Landgravine Hubris, Outer Consul FKC
I think I am going to be sick…

http://www.sherlockmagazine.it/imgbank/NEWS/rupert_everett.jpg
The Overlord of the Var
Quite extraordinary, being from a mixed race union myself I wish them the best of luck

If you’re a ruler, or a royal, looking for love…contact RBI today to start your search for your perfect mate.
Alcona and Hubris
11-06-2006, 20:59
Bump