NationStates Jolt Archive

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v652/blaesa/PRA%20junk/PRAlogocopy.jpg

Pale Rider Arms brings you yet another masterfully designed and artfully engineered breed of weapon for your killing pleasure! We hope you enjoy it, we know we sure did: Several marketing directors were writhing on the floor as they exchanged potential trade names for this weapon (Note: Current name may be temporary).

Genetically enhanced Rotovirus

One of the most common virii in the world, rotovirus infects nearly every human being in the world, and is the cause of over 5% of fatalities in the 0-5 age group. Knowing a good thing when they saw it, the dedicated scientists at Pale Rider Arms Creative Weapons have successfully altered the virus, allowing it to be more effective, longer lasting, and quite a bit more painful.

Rotovirus infects the lining of the digestive tract, infecting and killing cells while spreading toxins throughout the body. Cells slough off of the walls of the tract, and pass out of the body (along with much of the bodies water) as intensely painful diarrhea. Damage to the stomach, esophagus and intestines causes extreme pain, and can seriously damage these vital organs. The disease spreads via contact with infected waste, although initial introduction via aerosol is possible and suggested for maximum exposure.

Symptoms
Intense diarrhea
Vomiting
Intense abdominal pain
Dehydration, possibly leading to death
Possible organ failure

Onset Time: 24 Hours
Duration: Approximately 7 Days
Cost/Sample: 15,000,000 USD

Office 24
1217 Goverment Way
Balkan City, 85546
Druid Province, Armed Holy Democratic Empire of Asgarnieu

FROM THE OFFICE OF THE MASTER GENERAL OF THE ARMY OF ASGARNIEU

TO: Pale Rider Arms: Creative Weapons Department, The Corporate Monarchy of Otagia
FROM: Master General Russell B. Hispid
SUBJECT: Purchase of Genetically Enhanced Rotovirus


Greetings. We are quite interested in purchasing this modified rotovirus from your fine company. We request 5 samples of this rotovirus. The total cost of this purchase will come to $75,000,000.00 USD. We will contact you in the future regarding our test results. If the weapon is acceptable by Asgarnian Army standards, we will likely persue a contract with PRA. Thank you.


Respectfully,

Master General Russel B. Hispid
Commander of The Asgarnian Army

OOC: Why not just buy one? I DO allow you to reproduce the stuff yourself, which is why my prices are so high. Of course, if you really want to buy 5 (for example, to quickly set up multiple breeding locations), I'm not going to stop you.

OOC: You hooked me with the diarrhea.

IC: Well considering you let us reproduce it Kubra will take one.

OOC: I knew my subscription to SciAm would pay off!

IC: Your order has been confirmed, and will be shipped with all the usual precautions upon receipt of payment. We hope you enjoy your new killamajig.

Yours,
Daniel Quetzal
CEO of Pale Rider Arms

Oh, would you happen to have a chemical that jsut causes diarrhea, but npt death? We think it would suppress riots better than tear gas.

We don't currently, but our scientists will happily work on developing one. Would you also be interested in a rather cute little disease that causes uncontrollable anal leakage when the subject has an erection? Great for parties!

I need that. NOW! Name your price.

Well, as it has limited combat potential (unless one bombed the enemy with pornos, I suppose), we would be willing to part with a sample of that virus for a piddling 50,000 USD. Once we receive payment, we will ship it forthwith. Of course, as it's just exited the prototype phase, our marketting department has yet to come up with a spiffy name for it, so you'll have to settle with "VW-1412" for the moment.

Yours,
Daniel Quetzal
CEO of Pale Rider Arms

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v652/blaesa/PRA%20junk/PRAlogocopy.jpg

OOC: Otagia... you never responded to my post about Frost. If you're are giving up on that drug (and it seems like the thread died long ago) I would very MUCH like to buy the production rights from you, I need to put some biological weapons at my storefront.

For Frost, I'll pay you 300 billion USD and 15% of all profits I make. Additionally, it will be well known that the product was created by you.

OOC: I didn't respond to that? Could swear I did... Anyway, the answer was yes. Assume some long spiel by Daniel here, I'm too lazy to write one up at the moment.

EDIT: Oh, and Frost is a chemical weapon, not biological.

OOC: I didn't respond to that? Could swear I did... Anyway, the answer was yes. Assume some long spiel by Daniel here, I'm too lazy to write one up at the moment.

EDIT: Oh, and Frost is a chemical weapon, not biological.

OOC: Cool... thanks. I'll put it up in my storefront now.

Would you mind if I modified your writeup slightly (only to expand it)? To explain it a bit more... and make it more appealing for sale.

OOC: How about naming one "scrtachy crotchy anal burn burn drippy chunk" ?

OOC: Wouldn't fit on a test-tube label? :p

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v652/blaesa/PRA%20junk/PRAlogocopy.jpg

From the Desk of Emperor A. Commodus Disius


Greetings,

The Holy Empire would like to buy two samples of this virus for 30,000,000 USD.

Emperor A. Commodus Disius

Your Imperial Majesty,

Your order has been confirmed, and we will deliver it upon receipt of payment. We hope your new purchases serve you well.

Yours,
Daniel Quetzal
CEO of Pale Rider Arms

I'll buy a sample of that special anal leakage gas. Is the effect permanent or just temporary?

The disease lasts for about three days. A chemical variant is in the works, and we are planning to sell it in novelty shops as a gag item. Anyway, your order has been confirmed, and will be shipped upon receipt of payment.

Yours,
Daniel Quetzal

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v652/blaesa/PRA%20junk/PRAlogocopy.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v652/blaesa/PRA%20junk/PRAlogocopy.jpg