Pacitalia
24-05-2006, 20:01
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The Politics of the Golden Bunny
Lucia Mariana d'Anapoli, M.A.PSci., B.A.Econ., B.A.RS.
From The Economist print edition, week of 27th May
PUNTAFORA, PACITALIA
In the relatively short period of time since its incorporation, the Cute Bunny Burger Corporation (CBBC) has become one of the world's fastest growing service sector multinationals. From little more than a hundred branches in Allanea and Callisdrun, it has grown to more than 30,000 branches - in well over 30 countries. The company's profits dwarf the GDP of many third world nations. Its success has been attributed to having better service, better prices, and better advertising than any of the competing multinationals or indigenous competition. Still, the company has met with more limited success in other nations, and outright failure in others, the reasons having to do more with culture, demographics, politics, and backroom deals than basic economics. For my colleagues, who believe in the supremacy of their various neoliberal economic formulae, this article should provide some perspective into the various rudimentary complexities that never cease to thwart their supposedly infallible models. We shall first start with the two countries where CBBC has done poorly, the United Duchies of Alcona and Hubris and the Karelan Democracy of Rejistania.
In the United Duchies, despite ceaseless advertising, the CBBC has captured no more then 0.01% of the Wittelbach quick meal market, even as demand for fast food has increased. Why is this? Quite simply, CBBC entered the United Duchies market at a rather bad demographic moment, at a time when the number of adolescents and young people as a percentage of overall population is quite low. CBBC's most significant target market is thus absent, something the company did not realise until it was too late. In addition, the CBBC has been unable, unlike in Jeruselem, Kirisubo, and Derscon, to attract any local figures with significant cultural capital. In Wittelbach, the CBBC has found no young nubile Queen Mariah I or lovely Princess Genjiko to bring them free attention, endorsements, or a sense of momentum. And on top of it all, bunnies in Alcona and Hubris are considered… somewhat demonic, associated somehow with something locals call the “Hassan scourge.” When CBBC tried to advertise its products by having employees hand out fliers in bunny suits they were met with scorn and violence, which only helped to associate CBBC with bizarre hooliganism in the minds of the Duchies mature and unyouthful population. Thus the CBBC’s operations in Alcona and Hubris have stagnated at a mere 100 branches and there are no plans for further expansion.
The corporation's operations in Rejistania have met with even less success. To do business in that complex bilingual multicultural nation the leadership of CBBC had to completely reinvent themselves, something they have revealed themselves to be miserable at. Their ham-handed attempts to adapt to the local scene, by pandering to regional tastes and football fans, failed utterly and CBBC operations remain restricted to five profitless pubs (de facto branches). Five "pubs", in a nation of well over five billion people… that says it all.
Other countries have reacted far more negatively to the rise of CBBC, owing to its identification with the United States of Allanea and Allanean culture. This owes itself to the corporate leaderships decision to market itself as such a symbol, partly in order to appeal to the Allanean market and in nations were Allanean culture is popular, partly due to their the corporate leadership's own beliefs in so-called Allanean Exceptionalism, that being the belief that their culture is the highest point of human civilization, destined to spread across the globe. This strategy of playing up the country's "Allaneanism" has backfired in several places, most notably the State of Amestria and the Holy Eternal Republic of Xirnium, both of which have banned the company.
The reasons given by the Amestrian government for the ban are fairly varied and complex, reflected by the fact that five Amestrian ministries passed separate bans for separate reasons. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs cited the targeted sanctions in place against Allanea to protest the actions of the United States government during the Antanjyl Occupation, an occupation that led to well over eight million deaths and destroyed countless cultural monuments. The Ministries of Economy and Environment cited studies showing the companies food to be unhealthy and its packaging damaging to the environment. Lastly the Ministry of Culture cited the fact that “fast food companies” are viewed as incompatible with Amestrian culture, a threat to the nation's traditional regional culinary diversity, and has stated that the ban is merely part of a long standing policy of forbidding them from undertaking operations within Amestria. It may have been long standing policy, but it is very clear that Amestrian officials, particularly the aristocratic Minister of Foreign Affairs Dominique de Villepin, took great relish in specifically banning and denouncing CBBC. Almost everyone who could conceivably have had a role in passing a ban took part with absolute joy. It should be mentioned that the ban on “fast food conglomerates” is immensely popular among the Amestrian public. The underlying reasons for the actions of the Amestrian government can be found in how Amestrians view themselves and how they view Allanea.
The Amestrian cultural elite, in particular the nobility and governing classes, are all strong believers and proponents of Grandeur Culturelle D'Amestrian (Amestrian Cultural Greatness). Much of this sense of greatness among the ruling class comes either from the lineages of Amestria’s many noble families, most dating back hundreds of years, the age of Amestria’s civilization, well over 1000 years, and the policy of Promotion De la Grandeur D'Amestria (“Promoting Amestria’s Greatness”) undertaken by the nation's elite that dates well back to the early 19th century (originally to promote further unification and ease the transition from realm to nation state). Amestria has a long and complex history, full of tragedy and accomplishment, which is the base for this national pride and the cause of the country's many regional cultural variations (what a travel agency would call local flavor). Allanea, on the other hand, is viewed by many as an imperialistic threat to Amestria’s uniqueness and culture.
This concept of the United States as a threat comes from Amestria’s perception of Allanea as expansionist; spreading a “perverse, exploitive laissez-faire economic system” and an ideology of “empty, conceited, and destructive individualism.” Parliamentarian Annette Jospin during a speech likened Allanean consumerism and culture to a virus. “It can only exist by spreading itself into other nations, transforming its people like viruses transform cells, and then moving on to infect new hosts. If it did not spread itself, it would die, if its culture and people did not attempt to endlessly expand, if its people did not have their mission of liberating the world, their wasteful economic system would fail and the emptiness of their existence would destroy them.” Deputy Minister of Culture (and Marquis) Bernard de Jaurès compared Allaneans to “coarse fowl smelling peddlers of kitsch who, when you shut the door on them out of disgust, try to jimmy the lock.” Amestrian moral philosopher Jean le Crèvecoeur has stated that “they [Allaneans] care nothing about killing if it leads to more people being just like them” and has called Allanean thought in areas of complex morality “less then shallow.” As the quotes suggest anti-Allaneanism of this sort is very prominent in contemporary Amestria (where it is also not uncommon for Allaneans to be referred to as “Morlocks”). Foreign Minister de Villepin, during a foreign policy lecture at the École Nationale d'Administration, compared the United States to both Kraven and the various Soviet Unions, bent on world domination (it should be noted for fairness that however alarmist his comparison sounds it is a well established fact that Allanea has an expansionist history, that Allaneans are at this very moment illegally settling Heregos island in defiance of Pantocratorian law, and are using the Kraven wars as a means to annex territory). From the perspective of the Amestrian Government companies like Cute Bunny Burger is one of the ways Allanea spreads itself, to be kept out at all costs. Many of these opinions are shared by members of the Xirniumite governing class.
The Eternal Republic claims that its sanctions are merely the result of the Allanean military actions in Antanjyl and, unlike Amestria, has not officially stated any other reason or publicly delighted in denouncing the CBBC. However some statements made by various government officials shows Antanjyl to be a mere excuse to keep the CBBC out. Trade Minister Charles Quinlan has stated that “Allanean ‘culture’, much like those disgusting burgers sold by CBBC (one of its bloated multinationals), is little more than a garish, cheap and, ultimately, rubbish product. Designed for mass-production and ceaseless consumption by the dumb masses of the world, the deep commercialist malaise that is the culture of Allanea is exported internationally to individuals of significantly less than discerning tastes.” An official in the Commerce Ministry has commented off the record that from the ministry's perspective “Allanean corporations are not conventional, capitalist free-market firms at all. Rather, they are fanatically ideological institutions whose first and primary goal is to export Allanean consumerist culture, not to satisfy their shareholders that financial performance is being optimised.” One Parliamentarian, also off the record, called the CBBC “The filthy trough from which the boorishly uncultured barbarians of the Allanean state eat like the uncivilized swine that they are.” If they had not passed sanctions concerning the Antanjylian affair the Xirniumite government no doubt would have found some other worthy reason for trade restrictions. It is quite apparent that both the Amestrian and Xirniumite governing classes, usually at odds, see eye to eye when it comes to containing Allanean influence.
Both Amestrians and Xirniumites tend to view Allaneans as ignorant, delusional (de Villepin in private often repeats the rumours he’s heard of President Atchinson hearing voices), warlike, religious fanatics (Allaneans often misunderstand when Xirniumites or Amestrians denounce them as religious fanatics, assuming they mean Christian fundamentalists, when in fact they are referring to the nation's civic religion, Allanean Exceptionalism, the belief that their way of life is superior and destined to spread across the globe). The failed attempt by Allanea to remake Antanjyl in its image by violence, on top of its other activities (such as the invasion of Yazmarea, which both Amestria and Xirnium consider illegal, and its various colonization efforts), has left a permanent impression on the people of both nations. In a recent poll 65 percent of Amestrians believe that Allanea poses the greatest threat to the future of the world, compared to only 25 percent who picked Kraven. In Xirnium, a nation that suffered a Kraven invasion and has skirmished with the slave state ever since, an astounding 40 percent of Xirniumites considered Allanea the greatest threat to the future of the world (the other 60 percent chose Kraven). The mutual dislike of Allanea and opposition to the spread of Allanean culture held by both nations has secretly thrilled leaders in Central and Naerath, as it improves significantly the prospects of reconciliation between the two states, neither of which currently recognizes the other as legitimate, and would help both put aside past and present disagreements. Xirnium has accused Amestria of secretly executing without trial roughly 5000 captured Torontian Peoples Liberation Army members in Torontia, while Amestria has accused Xirnium of deceit and terrorist attacks against peacekeepers in Torontia.
It should once again be noted for fairness that the Allanean federal government bears significant fault for its poor image. It has not helped itself by repeatedly and publicly comparing market regulations to fascism, by its confrontationally unilateral approach to international relations, by its issuing of unbelievably arrogant public declarations, in which profanity is often present, and by its lack of diplomatic etiquette (the Allanean delegate to the Antanjyl peace conference, "some redneck Scientology lawyer", wore a t-shirt upon which was written “We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity”). Neither has the CBBC, which through its unapologetic embrace and promotion of Allanean ideals by at one point, announcing its support for the occupation of Antanjyl, has lived up exactly to the threatening image of Allanean corporations that many people hold.
However one may feel about the Amestrian and Xirniumite governments opinions of Allanea and their banning of CBBC, keeping food more expensive in exchange for diversity and quality, one must admit that both governments went about it legally and legitimately.
In McKagan, the Cute Bunny Corporation has been met with an organised campaign of violence by the anti-corporatist anarchist “Hair Grunge subculture” and their leader, who they apparently hold with god like devotion, lead singer and songwriter of Critical Disillusion, Duff Tratain. Tratain, the billionaire semi-anorexic drug addled mansion dwelling anarchist, was apparently irked when the CBBC opened a store across from where he lived. He reacted by calling upon his fellow grungers to blow up cars in CBBC employee parking lots and “sniper on the cashiers.” Because of McKagan’s economic nationalism the CBBC could only make money by opening its stores in the Greater-Triesa area, urban areas beset by drug wars and a lack of police, the perfect place for the grungers to operate. When the CBBC leadership made the mistake of attempting to buy him off Tratain went ballistic, ordering his followers to “Burn that mother----ing bunny!” and “KILL THEM ALL!” A literal insurgency began against the CBBC, in which its stores, employees (McKagan or Allanean), and customers all became targets. Tratain’s goals are no less than the complete removal of the “evil redneck” Bunny Burger Corporation from McKagan soil, his bloody undertaking having evolved into the first step towards transforming the world, in his words, “a truely peaceful place with lots of love an happiness.” So far he has forced the closure of over 560 CBBC branches, and it is only a matter of time until the rest shut down, due to lack of profits and loss of life.
Of course someone like Tratain could not embark upon such public escapades of flagrant lawbreaking and wanton terrorism without the authorities turning a blind eye…and turn a blind eye, they have. There has not been one arrest for the daily attacks upon CBBC property and the numerous injuries/deaths that have resulted, even though thousands of grungers have been involved. No charges have been brought against Duff Tratain, and he is widely considered at present to be above the law. The McKagan government claims it cannot police the inner cities properly given that their police force is too busy dealing with the various crime syndicates. Such excuses are nonsense. The McKagan state, which controls one of the world's most experienced and powerful military machines, used to fighting in numerous foreign and colonial wars, is perfectly capable of enforcing order in its own cities, they have simply chosen not to. The reaction of President Robyn Cavalt after one week of violence has been typical of government officials. "I was on vacation when I found out that Duff Tratain declared war on some Bunny franchise. I immediately shed a collective tear for that franchise."
In fact the McKagan government has taken action specifically to help Duff Tratain and make conditions intolerable for the CBBC. When the Allanean employees began arming themselves to the teeth to fight off the grungers, the Mckagan government, at the urge of Tratain, passed and signed into existence a law making it illegal for foreigners to own firearms (stripping the CBBC Allanean employees of the means of self protection), and has implemented a bizarre range of taxes penalizing CBBC branches for the noise created by all the gunfire/explosions. McKagan officials have even voiced their public approval of the grungers' activities, the two most infamous being one Senator caught on tape addressing a crowd of them that he "actually liked that place until Duff Tratain told [him] not to" and another Senator/ex-marine who remarked "this morning I watched armed rock fans fire anti-tank weaponry at a fast food restaurant. My immediate reaction was 'why aren't they in the Marines!'" (One has to wonder where the grungers got their heavy tank weaponry.) No other corporations have been attacked. Clearly the government is complicit in everything and has no respect for the rule of law. The question is why the McKagan government is allowing this and even aiding and abetting it?
The answer is that the imperialist and secretive McKagan government and its indigenous corporate backers want to minimise certain foreign influences and/or competition selectively, without actually changing its investment-friendly laws. The grungers are but a tool of these elites, because if the grungers were going after McKagan companies, or the government itself, the authorities would crack down on the bad behaviour. They are, however, going after a foreign company, a company many McKagan economic leaders conveniently expressed unease about having to compete against. A company that promotes the ideology of a foreign state -- something that makes the imperial minded Mckagan government uneasy. After this wave of violence subsides no foreign companies will want to invest or compete in McKagan unless her political and economic leaders promise these investors specific protection, and that’s exactly how they want it. Plus, there is also the possibility that diplomatic beliefs are behind the McKagan government's actions. It is no secret that Central and Naerath are all smiles over the burning Bunny stores, by taking such action the McKagan government may be attempting to improve relations with both Amestria and Xirnium so as to further its interests in and around Torontia.
Although they put on a tough façade, many people at CBBC headquarters are frightened of the possibility that, if successful, Duff Tratain could be emulated by anti-globalist troublemakers (and collaborating governments) in other countries. Already the Lone Alliance has banned CBBC, citing the possibility of violence from its own Hair Grunge subculture, raising the spectre of a world wide anti-corporate mass movement, aimed principally at Allanean firms in general and Bunny Burgers in particular. This fear is probably the principle reason that the CBBC has not abandoned the financial black hole that is the McKagan market and has chosen to give ground as slowly as possible (that, in addition to apparently typical Allanean stubbornness). One such defeat could spawn countless more, particularly as the multinational faces a whole new slew of criticisms over its partnership with another multinational conglomerate, the LifeWyze BioTech Corporation.
LifeWyze BioTech, the corporate boogieman personified, one of the companies all anti-globalization protesters point to when they seek to convey their belief that giant multinational corporations mean us all nothing but evil intent. What is LifeWyze BioTech, it is one of the worlds largest biological and chemical weapons producers, the owner of an international Medical Corporation, the owner of a pharmaceutical/genetic research company, and the owner of its own private army. Every corporate watchdog asked about this company, whether regional or international, has referred to it as either “scary” or “frightening,” including Signore Francesco Porantabano of the Pacitalian Trade and Industry Commission (not exactly a sign wielding anti-globalist protester, as he heads one of the world's leading financial and corporate regulatory agencies). He has stated that “LifeWyze BioTech, from what we can tell, is not truly accountable to anyone or any regulatory agency. It’s headquarters is located in Cruxium, a nation that, apparently, lets it do whatever it wants. It produces countless numerous deadly agents, and it is unfortunate that there is no way to keep track of them all. Most of its sales are confidential affairs made with various governments and militaries, so we have no idea if they are selling to terrorists or other dangerous groups. There is also the fact that it is in that company's interests that its weapons be used, as it also sells ‘bio-warfare solutions’ that it would profit handsomely off in the event of an outbreak (particularly if it were one of its products).” Porantabano further pointed out that LifeWyze BioTech apparently serves as “a front company for whatever profitable pseudoscientific mess is out there.” In particular he mentioned its “studies” that “prove” religion “should be suppressed for the good of the people,” (support for the Cruxium States ban on religion, violators of which are punished by death) and its claim that “Bunny Burgers products are apparently exceptionally good for you”. Porantabano found such statements ridiculous. “Those reports have been issued without peer review and with clear and blatant conflicts of interest, LifeWyze supplies the Cruxium government, LifeWyze is partnered with the CBBC and has a CBBC branch in each of its facilities. Conceivably since the CBBC has been using those ‘studies’ for advertisement, certain countries could go after CBBC and LifeWyze for fraud and for misleading consumers.” There are presently protests and investigations underway in several countries concerning the Cute Bunny Burger Corporation's shady ties to LifeWyze. Many have expressed unease with a bio-weapons manufacturer being partnered with a food production and distribution company. There could be serious trouble ahead for CBBC over this matter.
In conclusion, much of the CBBC’s success has been due not to economics of scale and superior service, as its advocates suggest (such things are ultimately incidental), but its cultural/social compatibility with the nation it is trying to establish itself in. And the company is not just some food service conglomerate. It has become a symbol to many, a symbol invoking inevitable global domination, a symbol invoking the threat of cultural destruction, a symbol invoking the need for resistance, a symbol invoking geopolitical struggle, and a symbol invoking the unaccountability of megamultinationals in today’s globalized world. Such matters go over the heads of traditional economists who fail to take into account the countless complications that exist in this heavily fragmented world of ours, such that really can be the driving forces behind economic decisions on behalf of private and public entities.
[i]About the Author
Lucia Mariana d'Anapoli, M.A.PSci., B.A.Econ., B.A.RS.
- Bachelor's of the Arts in Romantic Studies, 1972
- Bachelor's of the Arts in Political Science, 1976 (upgraded to Master's in 1978)
- Bachelor's of the Arts in Economics, 1982
Graduated with first-class honors from the National University of Puntafora in each successive degree, renowned for her "out of the box thinking" and for being someone who likes to challenge “the short-sightedness of those who focus purely on economics, growth rates, and market regulation as driving factors in economics.”
Well-briefed and well-educated in the complex history and political geography of Franco-Romantic countries, from their very inception to current times, among them Pacitalia and Amestria. Has followed the current situation in Torontia with extreme interest and curiosity in relation to the actions of involved governments, and holds a similar level of interest in the massive and rapid expansion of CBBC.
d'Anapoli currently heads a geopolitical and geoeconomic think tank in Puntafora called Global Solutions SpA. She currently splits her time between Puntafora and Timiocato and makes several trips a year to Amestria, the United Kingdom of Oceania and Knootoss to study complexities in national geopolitics in those states. She has guest lectured on her field of study in many prestigious universities, including her alma mater.
do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the employees or
administration of The Economist magazine. All material is
strictly their property and word.
http://kfox.gamehorizons.net/economist.jpg
The Politics of the Golden Bunny
Lucia Mariana d'Anapoli, M.A.PSci., B.A.Econ., B.A.RS.
From The Economist print edition, week of 27th May
PUNTAFORA, PACITALIA
In the relatively short period of time since its incorporation, the Cute Bunny Burger Corporation (CBBC) has become one of the world's fastest growing service sector multinationals. From little more than a hundred branches in Allanea and Callisdrun, it has grown to more than 30,000 branches - in well over 30 countries. The company's profits dwarf the GDP of many third world nations. Its success has been attributed to having better service, better prices, and better advertising than any of the competing multinationals or indigenous competition. Still, the company has met with more limited success in other nations, and outright failure in others, the reasons having to do more with culture, demographics, politics, and backroom deals than basic economics. For my colleagues, who believe in the supremacy of their various neoliberal economic formulae, this article should provide some perspective into the various rudimentary complexities that never cease to thwart their supposedly infallible models. We shall first start with the two countries where CBBC has done poorly, the United Duchies of Alcona and Hubris and the Karelan Democracy of Rejistania.
In the United Duchies, despite ceaseless advertising, the CBBC has captured no more then 0.01% of the Wittelbach quick meal market, even as demand for fast food has increased. Why is this? Quite simply, CBBC entered the United Duchies market at a rather bad demographic moment, at a time when the number of adolescents and young people as a percentage of overall population is quite low. CBBC's most significant target market is thus absent, something the company did not realise until it was too late. In addition, the CBBC has been unable, unlike in Jeruselem, Kirisubo, and Derscon, to attract any local figures with significant cultural capital. In Wittelbach, the CBBC has found no young nubile Queen Mariah I or lovely Princess Genjiko to bring them free attention, endorsements, or a sense of momentum. And on top of it all, bunnies in Alcona and Hubris are considered… somewhat demonic, associated somehow with something locals call the “Hassan scourge.” When CBBC tried to advertise its products by having employees hand out fliers in bunny suits they were met with scorn and violence, which only helped to associate CBBC with bizarre hooliganism in the minds of the Duchies mature and unyouthful population. Thus the CBBC’s operations in Alcona and Hubris have stagnated at a mere 100 branches and there are no plans for further expansion.
The corporation's operations in Rejistania have met with even less success. To do business in that complex bilingual multicultural nation the leadership of CBBC had to completely reinvent themselves, something they have revealed themselves to be miserable at. Their ham-handed attempts to adapt to the local scene, by pandering to regional tastes and football fans, failed utterly and CBBC operations remain restricted to five profitless pubs (de facto branches). Five "pubs", in a nation of well over five billion people… that says it all.
Other countries have reacted far more negatively to the rise of CBBC, owing to its identification with the United States of Allanea and Allanean culture. This owes itself to the corporate leaderships decision to market itself as such a symbol, partly in order to appeal to the Allanean market and in nations were Allanean culture is popular, partly due to their the corporate leadership's own beliefs in so-called Allanean Exceptionalism, that being the belief that their culture is the highest point of human civilization, destined to spread across the globe. This strategy of playing up the country's "Allaneanism" has backfired in several places, most notably the State of Amestria and the Holy Eternal Republic of Xirnium, both of which have banned the company.
The reasons given by the Amestrian government for the ban are fairly varied and complex, reflected by the fact that five Amestrian ministries passed separate bans for separate reasons. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs cited the targeted sanctions in place against Allanea to protest the actions of the United States government during the Antanjyl Occupation, an occupation that led to well over eight million deaths and destroyed countless cultural monuments. The Ministries of Economy and Environment cited studies showing the companies food to be unhealthy and its packaging damaging to the environment. Lastly the Ministry of Culture cited the fact that “fast food companies” are viewed as incompatible with Amestrian culture, a threat to the nation's traditional regional culinary diversity, and has stated that the ban is merely part of a long standing policy of forbidding them from undertaking operations within Amestria. It may have been long standing policy, but it is very clear that Amestrian officials, particularly the aristocratic Minister of Foreign Affairs Dominique de Villepin, took great relish in specifically banning and denouncing CBBC. Almost everyone who could conceivably have had a role in passing a ban took part with absolute joy. It should be mentioned that the ban on “fast food conglomerates” is immensely popular among the Amestrian public. The underlying reasons for the actions of the Amestrian government can be found in how Amestrians view themselves and how they view Allanea.
The Amestrian cultural elite, in particular the nobility and governing classes, are all strong believers and proponents of Grandeur Culturelle D'Amestrian (Amestrian Cultural Greatness). Much of this sense of greatness among the ruling class comes either from the lineages of Amestria’s many noble families, most dating back hundreds of years, the age of Amestria’s civilization, well over 1000 years, and the policy of Promotion De la Grandeur D'Amestria (“Promoting Amestria’s Greatness”) undertaken by the nation's elite that dates well back to the early 19th century (originally to promote further unification and ease the transition from realm to nation state). Amestria has a long and complex history, full of tragedy and accomplishment, which is the base for this national pride and the cause of the country's many regional cultural variations (what a travel agency would call local flavor). Allanea, on the other hand, is viewed by many as an imperialistic threat to Amestria’s uniqueness and culture.
This concept of the United States as a threat comes from Amestria’s perception of Allanea as expansionist; spreading a “perverse, exploitive laissez-faire economic system” and an ideology of “empty, conceited, and destructive individualism.” Parliamentarian Annette Jospin during a speech likened Allanean consumerism and culture to a virus. “It can only exist by spreading itself into other nations, transforming its people like viruses transform cells, and then moving on to infect new hosts. If it did not spread itself, it would die, if its culture and people did not attempt to endlessly expand, if its people did not have their mission of liberating the world, their wasteful economic system would fail and the emptiness of their existence would destroy them.” Deputy Minister of Culture (and Marquis) Bernard de Jaurès compared Allaneans to “coarse fowl smelling peddlers of kitsch who, when you shut the door on them out of disgust, try to jimmy the lock.” Amestrian moral philosopher Jean le Crèvecoeur has stated that “they [Allaneans] care nothing about killing if it leads to more people being just like them” and has called Allanean thought in areas of complex morality “less then shallow.” As the quotes suggest anti-Allaneanism of this sort is very prominent in contemporary Amestria (where it is also not uncommon for Allaneans to be referred to as “Morlocks”). Foreign Minister de Villepin, during a foreign policy lecture at the École Nationale d'Administration, compared the United States to both Kraven and the various Soviet Unions, bent on world domination (it should be noted for fairness that however alarmist his comparison sounds it is a well established fact that Allanea has an expansionist history, that Allaneans are at this very moment illegally settling Heregos island in defiance of Pantocratorian law, and are using the Kraven wars as a means to annex territory). From the perspective of the Amestrian Government companies like Cute Bunny Burger is one of the ways Allanea spreads itself, to be kept out at all costs. Many of these opinions are shared by members of the Xirniumite governing class.
The Eternal Republic claims that its sanctions are merely the result of the Allanean military actions in Antanjyl and, unlike Amestria, has not officially stated any other reason or publicly delighted in denouncing the CBBC. However some statements made by various government officials shows Antanjyl to be a mere excuse to keep the CBBC out. Trade Minister Charles Quinlan has stated that “Allanean ‘culture’, much like those disgusting burgers sold by CBBC (one of its bloated multinationals), is little more than a garish, cheap and, ultimately, rubbish product. Designed for mass-production and ceaseless consumption by the dumb masses of the world, the deep commercialist malaise that is the culture of Allanea is exported internationally to individuals of significantly less than discerning tastes.” An official in the Commerce Ministry has commented off the record that from the ministry's perspective “Allanean corporations are not conventional, capitalist free-market firms at all. Rather, they are fanatically ideological institutions whose first and primary goal is to export Allanean consumerist culture, not to satisfy their shareholders that financial performance is being optimised.” One Parliamentarian, also off the record, called the CBBC “The filthy trough from which the boorishly uncultured barbarians of the Allanean state eat like the uncivilized swine that they are.” If they had not passed sanctions concerning the Antanjylian affair the Xirniumite government no doubt would have found some other worthy reason for trade restrictions. It is quite apparent that both the Amestrian and Xirniumite governing classes, usually at odds, see eye to eye when it comes to containing Allanean influence.
Both Amestrians and Xirniumites tend to view Allaneans as ignorant, delusional (de Villepin in private often repeats the rumours he’s heard of President Atchinson hearing voices), warlike, religious fanatics (Allaneans often misunderstand when Xirniumites or Amestrians denounce them as religious fanatics, assuming they mean Christian fundamentalists, when in fact they are referring to the nation's civic religion, Allanean Exceptionalism, the belief that their way of life is superior and destined to spread across the globe). The failed attempt by Allanea to remake Antanjyl in its image by violence, on top of its other activities (such as the invasion of Yazmarea, which both Amestria and Xirnium consider illegal, and its various colonization efforts), has left a permanent impression on the people of both nations. In a recent poll 65 percent of Amestrians believe that Allanea poses the greatest threat to the future of the world, compared to only 25 percent who picked Kraven. In Xirnium, a nation that suffered a Kraven invasion and has skirmished with the slave state ever since, an astounding 40 percent of Xirniumites considered Allanea the greatest threat to the future of the world (the other 60 percent chose Kraven). The mutual dislike of Allanea and opposition to the spread of Allanean culture held by both nations has secretly thrilled leaders in Central and Naerath, as it improves significantly the prospects of reconciliation between the two states, neither of which currently recognizes the other as legitimate, and would help both put aside past and present disagreements. Xirnium has accused Amestria of secretly executing without trial roughly 5000 captured Torontian Peoples Liberation Army members in Torontia, while Amestria has accused Xirnium of deceit and terrorist attacks against peacekeepers in Torontia.
It should once again be noted for fairness that the Allanean federal government bears significant fault for its poor image. It has not helped itself by repeatedly and publicly comparing market regulations to fascism, by its confrontationally unilateral approach to international relations, by its issuing of unbelievably arrogant public declarations, in which profanity is often present, and by its lack of diplomatic etiquette (the Allanean delegate to the Antanjyl peace conference, "some redneck Scientology lawyer", wore a t-shirt upon which was written “We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity”). Neither has the CBBC, which through its unapologetic embrace and promotion of Allanean ideals by at one point, announcing its support for the occupation of Antanjyl, has lived up exactly to the threatening image of Allanean corporations that many people hold.
However one may feel about the Amestrian and Xirniumite governments opinions of Allanea and their banning of CBBC, keeping food more expensive in exchange for diversity and quality, one must admit that both governments went about it legally and legitimately.
In McKagan, the Cute Bunny Corporation has been met with an organised campaign of violence by the anti-corporatist anarchist “Hair Grunge subculture” and their leader, who they apparently hold with god like devotion, lead singer and songwriter of Critical Disillusion, Duff Tratain. Tratain, the billionaire semi-anorexic drug addled mansion dwelling anarchist, was apparently irked when the CBBC opened a store across from where he lived. He reacted by calling upon his fellow grungers to blow up cars in CBBC employee parking lots and “sniper on the cashiers.” Because of McKagan’s economic nationalism the CBBC could only make money by opening its stores in the Greater-Triesa area, urban areas beset by drug wars and a lack of police, the perfect place for the grungers to operate. When the CBBC leadership made the mistake of attempting to buy him off Tratain went ballistic, ordering his followers to “Burn that mother----ing bunny!” and “KILL THEM ALL!” A literal insurgency began against the CBBC, in which its stores, employees (McKagan or Allanean), and customers all became targets. Tratain’s goals are no less than the complete removal of the “evil redneck” Bunny Burger Corporation from McKagan soil, his bloody undertaking having evolved into the first step towards transforming the world, in his words, “a truely peaceful place with lots of love an happiness.” So far he has forced the closure of over 560 CBBC branches, and it is only a matter of time until the rest shut down, due to lack of profits and loss of life.
Of course someone like Tratain could not embark upon such public escapades of flagrant lawbreaking and wanton terrorism without the authorities turning a blind eye…and turn a blind eye, they have. There has not been one arrest for the daily attacks upon CBBC property and the numerous injuries/deaths that have resulted, even though thousands of grungers have been involved. No charges have been brought against Duff Tratain, and he is widely considered at present to be above the law. The McKagan government claims it cannot police the inner cities properly given that their police force is too busy dealing with the various crime syndicates. Such excuses are nonsense. The McKagan state, which controls one of the world's most experienced and powerful military machines, used to fighting in numerous foreign and colonial wars, is perfectly capable of enforcing order in its own cities, they have simply chosen not to. The reaction of President Robyn Cavalt after one week of violence has been typical of government officials. "I was on vacation when I found out that Duff Tratain declared war on some Bunny franchise. I immediately shed a collective tear for that franchise."
In fact the McKagan government has taken action specifically to help Duff Tratain and make conditions intolerable for the CBBC. When the Allanean employees began arming themselves to the teeth to fight off the grungers, the Mckagan government, at the urge of Tratain, passed and signed into existence a law making it illegal for foreigners to own firearms (stripping the CBBC Allanean employees of the means of self protection), and has implemented a bizarre range of taxes penalizing CBBC branches for the noise created by all the gunfire/explosions. McKagan officials have even voiced their public approval of the grungers' activities, the two most infamous being one Senator caught on tape addressing a crowd of them that he "actually liked that place until Duff Tratain told [him] not to" and another Senator/ex-marine who remarked "this morning I watched armed rock fans fire anti-tank weaponry at a fast food restaurant. My immediate reaction was 'why aren't they in the Marines!'" (One has to wonder where the grungers got their heavy tank weaponry.) No other corporations have been attacked. Clearly the government is complicit in everything and has no respect for the rule of law. The question is why the McKagan government is allowing this and even aiding and abetting it?
The answer is that the imperialist and secretive McKagan government and its indigenous corporate backers want to minimise certain foreign influences and/or competition selectively, without actually changing its investment-friendly laws. The grungers are but a tool of these elites, because if the grungers were going after McKagan companies, or the government itself, the authorities would crack down on the bad behaviour. They are, however, going after a foreign company, a company many McKagan economic leaders conveniently expressed unease about having to compete against. A company that promotes the ideology of a foreign state -- something that makes the imperial minded Mckagan government uneasy. After this wave of violence subsides no foreign companies will want to invest or compete in McKagan unless her political and economic leaders promise these investors specific protection, and that’s exactly how they want it. Plus, there is also the possibility that diplomatic beliefs are behind the McKagan government's actions. It is no secret that Central and Naerath are all smiles over the burning Bunny stores, by taking such action the McKagan government may be attempting to improve relations with both Amestria and Xirnium so as to further its interests in and around Torontia.
Although they put on a tough façade, many people at CBBC headquarters are frightened of the possibility that, if successful, Duff Tratain could be emulated by anti-globalist troublemakers (and collaborating governments) in other countries. Already the Lone Alliance has banned CBBC, citing the possibility of violence from its own Hair Grunge subculture, raising the spectre of a world wide anti-corporate mass movement, aimed principally at Allanean firms in general and Bunny Burgers in particular. This fear is probably the principle reason that the CBBC has not abandoned the financial black hole that is the McKagan market and has chosen to give ground as slowly as possible (that, in addition to apparently typical Allanean stubbornness). One such defeat could spawn countless more, particularly as the multinational faces a whole new slew of criticisms over its partnership with another multinational conglomerate, the LifeWyze BioTech Corporation.
LifeWyze BioTech, the corporate boogieman personified, one of the companies all anti-globalization protesters point to when they seek to convey their belief that giant multinational corporations mean us all nothing but evil intent. What is LifeWyze BioTech, it is one of the worlds largest biological and chemical weapons producers, the owner of an international Medical Corporation, the owner of a pharmaceutical/genetic research company, and the owner of its own private army. Every corporate watchdog asked about this company, whether regional or international, has referred to it as either “scary” or “frightening,” including Signore Francesco Porantabano of the Pacitalian Trade and Industry Commission (not exactly a sign wielding anti-globalist protester, as he heads one of the world's leading financial and corporate regulatory agencies). He has stated that “LifeWyze BioTech, from what we can tell, is not truly accountable to anyone or any regulatory agency. It’s headquarters is located in Cruxium, a nation that, apparently, lets it do whatever it wants. It produces countless numerous deadly agents, and it is unfortunate that there is no way to keep track of them all. Most of its sales are confidential affairs made with various governments and militaries, so we have no idea if they are selling to terrorists or other dangerous groups. There is also the fact that it is in that company's interests that its weapons be used, as it also sells ‘bio-warfare solutions’ that it would profit handsomely off in the event of an outbreak (particularly if it were one of its products).” Porantabano further pointed out that LifeWyze BioTech apparently serves as “a front company for whatever profitable pseudoscientific mess is out there.” In particular he mentioned its “studies” that “prove” religion “should be suppressed for the good of the people,” (support for the Cruxium States ban on religion, violators of which are punished by death) and its claim that “Bunny Burgers products are apparently exceptionally good for you”. Porantabano found such statements ridiculous. “Those reports have been issued without peer review and with clear and blatant conflicts of interest, LifeWyze supplies the Cruxium government, LifeWyze is partnered with the CBBC and has a CBBC branch in each of its facilities. Conceivably since the CBBC has been using those ‘studies’ for advertisement, certain countries could go after CBBC and LifeWyze for fraud and for misleading consumers.” There are presently protests and investigations underway in several countries concerning the Cute Bunny Burger Corporation's shady ties to LifeWyze. Many have expressed unease with a bio-weapons manufacturer being partnered with a food production and distribution company. There could be serious trouble ahead for CBBC over this matter.
In conclusion, much of the CBBC’s success has been due not to economics of scale and superior service, as its advocates suggest (such things are ultimately incidental), but its cultural/social compatibility with the nation it is trying to establish itself in. And the company is not just some food service conglomerate. It has become a symbol to many, a symbol invoking inevitable global domination, a symbol invoking the threat of cultural destruction, a symbol invoking the need for resistance, a symbol invoking geopolitical struggle, and a symbol invoking the unaccountability of megamultinationals in today’s globalized world. Such matters go over the heads of traditional economists who fail to take into account the countless complications that exist in this heavily fragmented world of ours, such that really can be the driving forces behind economic decisions on behalf of private and public entities.
[i]About the Author
Lucia Mariana d'Anapoli, M.A.PSci., B.A.Econ., B.A.RS.
- Bachelor's of the Arts in Romantic Studies, 1972
- Bachelor's of the Arts in Political Science, 1976 (upgraded to Master's in 1978)
- Bachelor's of the Arts in Economics, 1982
Graduated with first-class honors from the National University of Puntafora in each successive degree, renowned for her "out of the box thinking" and for being someone who likes to challenge “the short-sightedness of those who focus purely on economics, growth rates, and market regulation as driving factors in economics.”
Well-briefed and well-educated in the complex history and political geography of Franco-Romantic countries, from their very inception to current times, among them Pacitalia and Amestria. Has followed the current situation in Torontia with extreme interest and curiosity in relation to the actions of involved governments, and holds a similar level of interest in the massive and rapid expansion of CBBC.
d'Anapoli currently heads a geopolitical and geoeconomic think tank in Puntafora called Global Solutions SpA. She currently splits her time between Puntafora and Timiocato and makes several trips a year to Amestria, the United Kingdom of Oceania and Knootoss to study complexities in national geopolitics in those states. She has guest lectured on her field of study in many prestigious universities, including her alma mater.