NationStates Jolt Archive

A Short History of The Republic of Outragia (http://www.nationstates.net/outragia)

453 AD: Outragia is colonized by martians.
454 AD: The Outragian martians build a 100-foot tall marble statue of a gerbil, the "Great White Gerbil". To this day, this is Outragia's most memorable landmark.
458 AD: The Outragian martian colonizers all die in their annual "breath-holding" competition. That year's trophy went to "Big Al" Al'ghorrz, who held his breath for seven hours and was the last of the colonizers to die.
1493 AD: French colonizers arrive at Outragia and flee in terror when they see the Great White Gerbil.
1675 AD: Nearsighted Portuguese colonizers arrive at Outragia and settle down, not noticing the Great White Gerbil at all.
1732 AD: Joaquim Pamonha is the first Outragian to notice the GWG. He rushes to tell his mom about it, and is severely reprimanded for making up stories.
1750 AD: The same Joaquim Pamonha becomes a celebrity when he publicly announces the "discovery" of the hundred-foot-tall Gerbil statue.
1772 AD: Joaquim Pamonha is crowned Outragia's first king. Before this year, Outragians lived in anarchy and settled their disputes through staring contests (the national sport).
1820 AD: Outragia invades the North Pole.
1821 AD: Outragia abandons the North Pole because, in the words of King Pamonha III, "It's too f***in' cold over there!"
1892 AD: Outragian scientist Pedro Pingulim invents non-alcoholic beer. Three weeks later he writes a public apology for all the beer drinkers in the world.
1912 AD: Outragia is briefly transported to another dimension, returning five weeks later. No other nation in the world notices their absence, which inspires a whole generation of Outragean musicians to write crappy emo songs about how nobody likes them.
1950 AD: Outragia's national team go to the football World Cup in Brazil, but they never make it there because a meteor sinks the ship that was taking the team. Outragians then declare themselves "moral champions" of the World Cup, and the rest of the world laughs hysterically at them.
1960 AD: Outragia is declared a democratic republic and the royal family are exiled in the North Pole.
1962 AD: The Outragian royal family, still exiled in the North Pole, are cruelly slaughtered by Santa's elves. Some historians sustain that the infamous "North Pole Massacre" began because one of the Outragian princes cheated on a staring contest against the Elves.
1964 AD: Outragian students riot the streets, demanding less homework and more co-ed dorms. The police respond by challenging the student leaders to a staring contest. The police's staring champ wins and the riots stop.
1980 AD: The first Outragian pop-music superstar tops the hit charts: Nuno Munheca, author of the dance hit "Picking My Nose In The Moon".
1981 AD: Nobody even remembers who Nuno Munheca was anymore. Nuno makes a living by challenging random strangers to staring contests.
1999 AD: Outragia prepares for the 2K virus by throwing all the island's computers into the sea.

OOC: Omg, I think I just got ROFLMAOed. Thanks for that :D

Update:
2006 AD: Outragia is admitted into the United Nations. The Outragian population celebrates the happy news with a three-day holiday party, with musical groups playing for huge crowds and lotsa free booze, culminating on the 4th day with a nationwide "Cleanuppapalooza", where the entire Outragian population cleans their nation's streets after the celebrations. Paulo Mumunha, appointed to be Outragia's UN delegate, later declares that "keeping sober through that three-day national bender was like being the designated driver for the whole country", but underlines that being able to represent his beloved Outragia made it all worthwhile.

On the following day, the "Daily Pout", one of Outragia's biggest newspapers, runs an editorial asking it if was absolutely necessary to appoint such a dork as the country's UN delegate.

Take my advice, leave the U.N. While you can. It is a frivilous autoritan body that does no real good in the world. With it's constant and endless marry-go-round appeals, and poorly written, sometimes dangerous resolutions, proves to be a breeding ground for chaose, and pathetic apathy. It does nothing for your nation it does nothing for the world, other than rule it with an iron fist.

For all its flaws, the UN is the place where all nations can have their say, and the best forum for challenging questionable international practices. The world is better off with such a forum than without it.

Trust me, it's hard. Getting a Resolution accepted is like pulling teeth. If you do pass it, and it passes on the floor, then there will be some unhappy sap who will repeal it. Only powerful nations get a say in the U.N. Don't give into a dictatorship. Join our League of Nations, where you are guranteed a passed resolution, and your say. We we're apart of the U.N. for years, (OOC: NS years) and found it a horrible experience.

Here are some Facts:

The U.N. rarley participates in humanitarian affairs. It has no body designated for such affairs. A freind nation to us was at the mercy of a mega storm, the U.N. didn't help. When nations starved, the U.N. Didn't help.

The U.N. is only intrested in it's own affairs amongst it's own members.

Genocide, and other gross breaches of rights have happend. The U.N. Has never condemed these unless they come from a U.N. Nation
This is also likely why Kurona was ignored in the Mega-storm. Although he is now a freind to us, the nation of Stevid was once a bitter enemy, b/c of it's expulsion of religions that weren't their own.

The U.N. is a non-soverign body, and favors the rich and powerful.

Resolutions can prove toubling and expensive for poor nations. Enviromental, and economic, often are written by rich nations for rich nations. Poor nations that are unable to comply are either removed, or forced to withdraw.
We also found the Resolution for allowing Nuclear Weapons, unrestrictve and downright dangerous. As well as allowing for landmines.

The U.N. Favors Well Known and Powerful nations

Smaller nations have much harder times getting a resolution approved before the Quorm. We had trouble our selves getting any resolution approved.


Trust me I was a Delegate for several years

Sincerly,

Elenore Romney