Ferretton
06-05-2006, 18:09
TO: Ferretton People's Newspaper, FerorTV, Alliance of Socialist States, United Nations
SUBJECT: ANNOUNCEMENT - 6 May 2006 13:02 FST
Christopgrad (FPN) - The Premier of the United Socialist States of Ferretton has announced that, due to an overnight coup attempt lead by the Basset Furniture Restoration Corporation, all companies within the United Socialist States of Ferretton are to be nationalized. A war has been declared against the rogue state of Krasnovia and 205,320 troops are going to the regional capital of Avrilgrad (Boston) to subdue the leaders of the Corporate Pride Party and the Furniture Restorers Workers Party. On all radio and television stations, "Shut Me Up" by Mindless Self Indulgence is playing. 5 million citizens have taken to the capital city of Christopgrad (Worcester) to protest against the corporations and the rogue state.
It has been rumoured that in southern Krasnovia the CEO of the Basset Furniture Restoration Corporation, Tony Bush, has been killed and the HQ of the company has been set ablaze.
One citizen was reported as saying, "LONG LIVE THE PREMIER! The corporate scum are being shown that they can't control us! We are free people! We stand behind our government and no one is going to take that from us! To Tony Bush, I say this: I can't wait for you to shut me up!!!!"
It appears that 2 million citizens have packed the highway from Christopgrad to Avrilgrad to help the Ferretton People's Army crush the traitors.
The regional director of Krasnovia has denounced the attempted coup and is going to arriving in the capital to personally apologize to the Premier for the event. Before his jet took off, he was reported as saying "I should have known the coup was coming and put it down before it even started."
Also, those closest to the Premier have reported rumours of changing the nation's anthem from the "Internationale" to "Shut Me Up," the popular battlecry of the people.
That is all the information we have at this time.
- Christine DiLiddo, Ferretton People's Newspaper
SUBJECT: ANNOUNCEMENT - 6 May 2006 13:02 FST
Christopgrad (FPN) - The Premier of the United Socialist States of Ferretton has announced that, due to an overnight coup attempt lead by the Basset Furniture Restoration Corporation, all companies within the United Socialist States of Ferretton are to be nationalized. A war has been declared against the rogue state of Krasnovia and 205,320 troops are going to the regional capital of Avrilgrad (Boston) to subdue the leaders of the Corporate Pride Party and the Furniture Restorers Workers Party. On all radio and television stations, "Shut Me Up" by Mindless Self Indulgence is playing. 5 million citizens have taken to the capital city of Christopgrad (Worcester) to protest against the corporations and the rogue state.
It has been rumoured that in southern Krasnovia the CEO of the Basset Furniture Restoration Corporation, Tony Bush, has been killed and the HQ of the company has been set ablaze.
One citizen was reported as saying, "LONG LIVE THE PREMIER! The corporate scum are being shown that they can't control us! We are free people! We stand behind our government and no one is going to take that from us! To Tony Bush, I say this: I can't wait for you to shut me up!!!!"
It appears that 2 million citizens have packed the highway from Christopgrad to Avrilgrad to help the Ferretton People's Army crush the traitors.
The regional director of Krasnovia has denounced the attempted coup and is going to arriving in the capital to personally apologize to the Premier for the event. Before his jet took off, he was reported as saying "I should have known the coup was coming and put it down before it even started."
Also, those closest to the Premier have reported rumours of changing the nation's anthem from the "Internationale" to "Shut Me Up," the popular battlecry of the people.
That is all the information we have at this time.
- Christine DiLiddo, Ferretton People's Newspaper