NationStates Jolt Archive

Kubra, being a new and small nation, has a very small military and not enough weapons. Although more and more people are joining the armed forces, our weapon companies cannot produce weaponry fast enough. Therefore, we must now buy weapons off other countries.

The shortage of small arms is not dire, but they are weak and hard to produce. Our current leading small arms company (Corland) is working on a better kind of assault rifle and a better design of sidearm. Until then, we are accepting cheap and effective rifles from other countries.

We have a severe shortage of armoured vehicles and mobile artillery. We would greatly appreciate any country that can sell us some artillery. We would also greatly appreciate any tanks that can be sold to us.

Our airforce and Navy are literally non-existent. We have no ships or jets fit for any sort of combat. We desperately need any sort of ship or planes that can be sold to us.

Our budget is currently 35 million, we cannot afford to go over that. The economy may improve over time, but until then this is all we have to spend.

For your army, we are willing to sell:

1. ZS-1 Infantry Battlesuits

2. ZA-1 Infantry Assualt Rifles

3. ZP-1 Infantry Pistols

4. ZT-1 Anti-Tank Missile Launchers

5. XM-1 MBT

6. XS-1 HBT

7. XR-1 Recon Vehicle

8. XC-1 APC/IFV

9. XL-1 Logistcs Truck

10. XA-1 Light Carryall

11. XA-2 Medium Carryall

12. XL-3 Heavy Carryall

13. AF-1 Terrabyte Fighter, can be refitted to Fighter/Bomber

14. AH-1 Attack Helicopter

15. ATH-1 Transport Helicopter

16. AT-1 Transport Plane (Can be refitted to AB-1 Heavy Bomber)

17. AB-1 Heavy Bomber (Can be refitted to AT-1 Transport Plane)

18. VB-1 Von Grapple Battleship

19. VA-1 Bald Eagle Aircraft Carrier

20. VC-1 Cruiser

21. VF-1 Frigate

22. VS-1 Submarine

23. O-1 Kabalt Orbital Cannonball System

24. Incapaciton Less-than-Lethal Nerve Gas

Price for the ability to make all this: $750 Billion USD (Trust me this is a bargain.)

Disclaimer: I'm not responsible for any problems that arise from misuse of this.

However, given your nations economy problems, you may pay for this in bursts.

Choose
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b360/DMG2005/DMI.jpg (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=440478)
For all of your Military Needs.

The weaponry Pythogria interested the miltary. What would be the prices?

The weaponry Pythogria interested the miltary. What would be the prices?

The prices for production, you mean? After you pay us the money for production rights?

1. ZS-1 Infantry Battlesuits- $10,000 dollars a suit

2. ZA-1 Infantry Assualt Rifles- Almost nothing for ammunition, $1,800 per gun

3. ZP-1 Infantry Pistols- Almost nothing for ammunition, $600 per pistol

4. ZT-1 Anti-Tank Missile Launchers- $2,000 per missile, $4,000 per launcher

5. XM-1 MBT- $10 Million

6. XS-1 HBT-$15 Million

7. XR-1 Recon Vehicle- $1.8 Million

8. XC-1 APC/IFV- $2 million

9. XL-1 Logistcs Truck-$200,000

10. XA-1 Light Carryall- $8 Million

11. XA-2 Medium Carryall- $10 Million

12. XL-3 Heavy Carryall- $12 Million

13. AF-1 Terrabyte Fighter, can be refitted to Fighter/Bomber- $15 Million

14. AH-1 Attack Helicopter- $10 Million

15. ATH-1 Transport Helicopter- $8 Million

16. AT-1 Transport Plane (Can be refitted to AB-1 Heavy Bomber)- $12 Million

17. AB-1 Heavy Bomber (Can be refitted to AT-1 Transport Plane)- $12 Million

18. VB-1 Von Grapple Battleship- $1.8 Billion per battleship

19. VA-1 Bald Eagle Aircraft Carrier- $2 Billion per carrier

20. VC-1 Cruiser- $14 Million per cruiser

21. VF-1 Frigate- $10 Million per frigate

22. VS-1 Submarine- $10 Million per sub

23. O-1 Kabalt Orbital Cannonball System- Almost nothing per cannonball, $1 Billion per sattelite

24. Incapaciton Less-than-Lethal Nerve Gas- $1 Million dollars per canister

Excellent, we'll take 500 ZA-1s and 500 ZP-1s, as well as 200 bullets per gun.

We will also take 3 logistics trucks and 50 XC-1s.

Excellent, we'll take 500 ZA-1s and 500 ZP-1s, as well as 200 bullets per gun.

We will also take 3 logistics trucks and 50 XC-1s.

Thank you for your buisness. Order Confirmed.

Should yo uever decide to buy production rights, our offer of $750 Billion still stands.

The Imperial Land of Findan is willing to give you 200 F-18's that have been made obsollete do to the introduction of F-35's. We would also like to discuss terms of allaince.


Emperor Samuel III

Foriegn Minister Baron sir Charles Hassahoff

Defense Minsiter Lord Sir Reginald Cooper

Thank you for your buisness. Order Confirmed.

Should yo uever decide to buy production rights, our offer of $750 Billion still stands. Considering the inferiority of out current miltary, we will remember the price to production rights. Until then, we can only hope for our weapon companies to make a breakthrough.

The Imperial Land of Findan is willing to give you 200 F-18's that have been made obsollete do to the introduction of F-35's. We would also like to discuss terms of allaince.


Emperor Samuel III

Foriegn Minister Baron sir Charles Hassahoff

Defense Minsiter Lord Sir Reginald Cooper Kubra would be more than happy to form an alliance.

Now on to the matter of these F-35's. How much do they cost each?

At this time we are not selling the F-35 since that is our newest invention. We will give 15 Los Angeles Class attack subs though.

At this time we are not selling the F-35 since that is our newest invention. We will give 15 Los Angeles Class attack subs though. Give? I doubt you are willing to part with the subs for no price.

What about those F-18's? How muhc are they each?

---Secret---

"You know, I'm taking pity on these people."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying we give them the schemativcs. They've already paid themselves back several times over."

"But si-"

"No buts. Give them away. Wait... make them our allies."

"OK..."

To: Kubra

From: Pythogria

Seeing the plight your nation is in (no military to really speak of) we would like to GIVE YOU the schematics to all weapons previously presented, if you become an ally of Pythogria.

The Peoples Freedom is willing to give:
one million M-16's
One million Kevlar vests
35 F-16's
1,000 155 mm towed howizters
300 Abrams tanks.
50 Blackhawks
3000 Humvees
10,000 Utility Transport trucks
20 C-17's
500 Bradley Armoured transports
20 F-35

All for nothing

Considering the inferiority of out current miltary, we will remember the price to production rights. Until then, we can only hope for our weapon companies to make a breakthrough. We have just realized that by buying the APC's we have gone over our budget. We have sent a plea to our government, and have luckily obtained 100 million to pay.

We are willing to gvie them away baecuase they all schedulde to be scaped we have updated to the Virginia class attack submarines. The same goes witht eh F-18's. They are oudated the only fighters the Imperial Findanian Air Force Maintains are F-35's and A-10's. We also realize that A.) you are a new nation B.) That you respect freedom and C.) with nations such as Kraven lurking about the world has gotten to be a dangorous place for nations thta respect freedom as much as you do and therefore we are willing to help you keep your freedom.


Baron Sir Charles Hassahoff, Foreign Minister

Lord Sir Reginald Cooper, Defense Minsiter

---Secret---

"You know, I'm taking pity on these people."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying we give them the schemativcs. They've already paid themselves back several times over."

"But si-"

"No buts. Give them away. Wait... make them our allies."

"OK..."

To: Kubra

From: Pythogria

Seeing the plight your nation is in (no military to really speak of) we would like to GIVE YOU the schematics to all weapons previously presented, if you become an ally of Pythogria. Kubra is happy to make alliance with any country. We accept your propsal for an alliance, though we do not require all the schematics. We need only ship schematics for now.

The Peoples Freedom is willing to give:
one million M-16's
One million Kevlar vests
35 F-16's
1,000 155 mm towed howizters
300 Abrams tanks.
50 Blackhawks
3000 Humvees
10,000 Utility Transport trucks
20 C-17's
500 Bradley Armoured transports
20 F-35

All for nothing Kubra accepts the gift of these weapons. We are deeply in your debt.

Kubra is happy to make alliance with any country. We accept your propsal for an alliance, though we do not require all the schematics. We need only ship schematics for now.

No, take them all. We insist.

However, we thank you for the alliance.

We are willing to gvie them away baecuase they all schedulde to be scaped we have updated to the Virginia class attack submarines. The same goes witht eh F-18's. They are oudated the only fighters the Imperial Findanian Air Force Maintains are F-35's and A-10's. We also realize that A.) you are a new nation B.) That you respect freedom and C.) with nations such as Kraven lurking about the world has gotten to be a dangorous place for nations thta respect freedom as much as you do and therefore we are willing to help you keep your freedom.


Baron Sir Charles Hassahoff, Foreign Minister

Lord Sir Reginald Cooper, Defense Minsiter Understood, Kubra accepts the gift of these submarines. We are deeply in your debt.

No, take them all. We insist.

However, we thank you for the alliance. No need to thank us, we should be thanking you.

Also Kurba we shall send even more supplies. Even officer and noncoms to train yours. We shall also take some of your young people who wish to become officers to attend our militray acadamies.

Minister Cooper.

In additon,
We would like to provide you with a Carrier Battle Group:4
1 Nimitz carrier with full F-18's
6 Destroyers
10 Missle Frigates
2 Ageis Crusiers
2 Seawolf attack subs
one Ohio class ballistic sub
and four Refitted Iowa Class battleships.

Also Kurba we shall send even more supplies. Even officer and noncoms to train yours. We shall also take some of your young people who wish to become officers to attend our militray acadamies.

Minister Cooper. We would appreciate it.

In additon,
We would like to provide you with a Carrier Battle Group:4
1 Nimitz carrier with full F-18's
6 Destroyers
10 Missle Frigates
2 Ageis Crusiers
2 Seawolf attack subs
one Ohio class ballistic sub
and four Refitted Iowa Class battleships. That would really help us.

Of course. Anything else you require, let us know. We can arrange

Of course. Anything else you require, let us know. We can arrange We have recieved many weapons. In fact, we have surplus. We deeply thank the ountries who have given us weapons for our military.

OOC: Kubra, want to have a little bit of a war to train you in RPing? Perhaps... a rebel group of your soldiers attacks me?

OOC: Kubra, want to have a little bit of a war to train you in RPing? Perhaps... a rebel group of your soldiers attacks me? OOC: Ok, sounds good.

OOC: Ok, sounds good.

OOC: I'll start the thread.

OOC: On the other stuff I'll get back to you Monday when I can get my copy of All-Hands thta will tell me what ships would be good to get rid of.

Ustia is willing to give You:
80 F-15 Eagles
15 F-16 falcon's

They are obselate to my F-22's and F-35's

OOC: On the other stuff I'll get back to you Monday when I can get my copy of All-Hands thta will tell me what ships would be good to get rid of. OOC: Please, no fletcher calss destroyers. They're great ships and all, but way too outdated.

Ustia is willing to give You:
80 F-15 Eagles
15 F-16 falcon's

They are obselate to my F-22's and F-35's Kubra accepts these jets and are in your debt.

OOC: Please, no fletcher calss destroyers. They're great ships and all, but way too outdated.
OOC; Dopnt' worry they've been scaprs for a long time but you might get some Areligh Buirgh's or soemthin' like that perhasp some Enterprise class carrier ir even Nimitz's. Who knows I just gotta figure out.

Our military engineers have been working on the most devastating weapon known to man. They found a way to harness the evil of Dick Cheney and put it into a super gun. Price: Alot o' cash

OOC; Dopnt' worry they've been scaprs for a long time but you might get some Areligh Buirgh's or soemthin' like that perhasp some Enterprise class carrier ir even Nimitz's. Who knows I just gotta figure out. Ok, I'll be waiting.

Our military engineers have been working on the most devastating weapon known to man. They found a way to harness the evil of Dick Cheney and put it into a super gun. Price: Alot o' cash Anything that can harness the evil of the Vice Presidnet of the United States is too much for us. Have you seen what the guy does with a gun after a few beers in the texas sun?

This weapon is to be only used as a last resort. The sheer power of this weapon caused a technician's head to explode.

Our military engineers have been working on the most devastating weapon known to man. They found a way to harness the evil of Dick Cheney and put it into a super gun. Price: Alot o' cash

Destroy the schematics to that NOW or be destroyed. That weeapon should not be in human hands.

OOC: Don't take this seriously.

Our military engineers have been working on the most devastating weapon known to man. They found a way to harness the evil of Dick Cheney and put it into a super gun. Price: Alot o' cash
What happens if he has a heart attack?

The world ends

The world ends

"John, deploy our nuclear arsenal. This guy MUST be stopped."

"Sir, are you feeling OK?"

"Yes. Now fire."

All of Pythogria's nuclear ICBMs (2,500 warhads) flew at Kulikovo.

OOC: Joke, don't take this seriously.

Findan send 99 billion artifiacl hearts to Kulikovo asap.

OOC:JK

"Sir, Mega Cheney's ready" says a technician in a lab coat

"Excellent, we must use it to fend off Pythogoria, launch Mega Cheney" says a five star general.

Within seconds Mega Cheney emerged from the subterranian facility, carrying a shotgun. Fire spewed from his feet and it rocketed into the sky to intercept the missiles. With one blast of the gun, all the missiles exploded in such a fashion that I could not even describe it. mega Cheney was unharmed.

"Sir, Mega Cheney's ready" says a technician in a lab coat

"Excellent, we must use it to fend off Pythogoria, launch Mega Cheney" says a five star general.

Within seconds Mega Cheney emerged from the subterranian facility, carrying a shotgun. Fire spewed from his feet and it rocketed into the sky to intercept the missiles. With one blast of the gun, all the missiles exploded in such a fashion that I could not even describe it. mega Cheney was unharmed. This is an offical statement from Kubra to Kulikivo

Could you get the mega Cheny to please pull up his fly?

"Sir, Mega Cheney's ready" says a technician in a lab coat

"Excellent, we must use it to fend off Pythogoria, launch Mega Cheney" says a five star general.

Within seconds Mega Cheney emerged from the subterranian facility, carrying a shotgun. Fire spewed from his feet and it rocketed into the sky to intercept the missiles. With one blast of the gun, all the missiles exploded in such a fashion that I could not even describe it. mega Cheney was unharmed.

"No! Our missiles... GONE! And Dick Cheney has risen carrying a shotgun!!!"

"Launch EVERYTHING WE HAVE!!!"

Pythogria's two orbital lasers, thousands of God Rods, millions of cruise missiles, and millions of Kabalts all flew at Dick Cheney.

"FOR HUMANITY! SAVE US!!!"

This is an offical statement from Kubra to Kulikivo

Could you get the mega Cheny to please pull up his fly?

Pythogria agrees.

Do not mock Mega Cheney. He is the ultimate weapon! mega Cheney is a weapon of mass destruction.

"Sir, the mega Cheney is on a rampage"!

"Then we must send our secret weapon, launch the mega drunk Canadian hockey player.

"Sir, the mega Cheney is on a rampage"!

"Then we must send our secret weapon, launch the mega drunk Canadian hockey player.

"Oh, god... not Kubra has one... Launch it!"

"That..."

"YES, THAT!"

"OK..."

The George Bush had launched.

"Oh, god... not Kubra has one... Launch it!"

"That..."

"YES, THAT!"

"OK..."

The George Bush had launched. "Damn, we don't have enough Alcohol to combat the George"!

"we could send the mega Harper".

"Don't be silly, Harper is a wuss."

"What about the UN Cannon?"

"Yes, that's perfect"!

"No... FIRE THE NIXON!"

Not Richard Nixon!

*Cue dramatic music*

"No.....I have a better idea. Come, soldier. We will dig up Ronald Reagans body and launch it form the Capitalism cannon."

"No.....I have a better idea. Come, soldier. We will dig up Ronald Reagans body and launch it form the Capitalism cannon."

"Oh crap. Launch...

CHUCK NORRIS!"

Mega Cheney tore through the cdity, searching for any old lawyer to shoot in the face. he towered over the buildings, smashing them out of his way.

Not Chuck Norris!!

We are all doomed!

"Oh crap. Launch...

CHUCK NORRIS!" Kubra surrenders it's weapons and requests that Chuck Norris not roundhouse kick the country ot Asia.

Well, I've silenced you all. Good. FEAR US!

Wait, we still have the pope.

"Pope, help us!"

"Oh holy god, smite my enemies!"

Mega Cheney continues his rampage "Chuck...Norris!" He said in a cold robotic tone. He cocked his super shotgun.

Mega Cheney continues his rampage "Chuck...Norris!" He said in a cold robotic tone. He cocked his super shotgun.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Cheney. Nixon then goes all-out on Cheney, and Bush attacks the Pope.

Mega Cheney continues his rampage "Chuck...Norris!" He said in a cold robotic tone. He cocked his super shotgun. That's exactly why we wanted him to pull up his fly.

"There's only room for one dick" Mega Cheney said in his robotic voice and fired his super shotgun in Nixon's face. mega Cheney fell back from the kick and demolished a playground.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Cheney. Nixon then goes all-out on Cheney, and Bush attacks the Pope. The pope asks god to smite his enemies.

"There's only room for one dick" Mega Cheney said in his robotic voice and fired his super shotgun in Nixon's face. mega Cheney fell back from the kick and demolished a playground.

NIxon dodged the bullets using his incompetence, and proceeded to continue attacking the Mega Dick Cheney.

OOC: I ca nbarely breathe I'm laughing so hard...

The pope asks god to smite his enemies.

Bush smites God with this look:

http://www.valleyskeptic.com/bush_mouth.jpg

Mega Cheney grabbed Nixon by the leg and swung him into a building.

"Excellent, Mega Cheney's doing better than we ever hoped" aid the general

"We must stop this, he's too powerful!" said the technician

NIxon dodged the bullets using his incompetence, and proceeded to continue attacking the Mega Dick Cheney.

OOC: I ca nbarely breathe I'm laughing so hard... OOC: You and me both.

IC: Desperate times call for desperate measures, send in the history channel."

Mega Cheney grabbed Nixon by the leg and swung him into a building.

"Excellent, Mega Cheney's doing better than we ever hoped" aid the general

"We must stop this, he's too powerful!" said the technician

Chuck Norris intervened with his roundhouse kick, and Nixon got up and went all-out again.

OOC: You and me both.

IC: Desperate times call for desperate measures, send in the history channel."

"NO! NOT THE HISTORY CHANNEL! SEND IN FOX NEWS!"

"NO! NOT THE HISTORY CHANNEL! SEND IN FOX NEWS!" "WE NEED TO GET A HOLD OF AMERICAS FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS, ONLY THEY CAN SAVE US!"

If as a miracle, the people form AFV came to the battlefield. They set up a tv and showed footage of people getting hit in the crotch.

Mega Cheney became angry

http://www.njweedman.com/dick_cheney.jpg

Saying "Don't dick with Dick!"

OOC: Oh dear goddess I just covered my keyboard in coffee I'm laughing so hard

IC:
Animarnia is willing to give you 100 Patriot Main Battle Tanks (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9504429&postcount=1) For free to help bolster your military and provide some of your soldiers with Animarnia Special forces training;

OOC: Oh dear goddess I just covered my keyboard in coffee I'm laughing so hard

IC:
Animarnia is willing to give you 100 Patriot Main Battle Tanks (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=9504429&postcount=1) For free to help bolster your military and provide some of your soldiers with Animarnia Special forces training; We accept your gift, but must sadly say they will be inefficetive against the Chuck.

We concur the Chuck is indeed a mighty weapon, but we feel that Mr Rogers in a blood stained sweater is a far mightier weapon, in our opinion

Christ this is hilarious. STFU or I'll get MacGuyver on your collective asses.

IC:

Cravan has recently adopted a new standard issue rifle, and is willing to sell you our G36 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heckler_&_Koch_G36) rifles. We will offer $980 per rifle.

We concur the Chuck is indeed a mighty weapon, but we feel that Mr Rogers in a blood stained sweater is a far mightier weapon, in our opinion

You did not just quote Ultimate Showdown...

You did not just quote Ultimate Showdown...

I did so, that little flash animation brought me and Kara many hours of amusment. you realise this means, we have to develop the Mega Mr Rogers now?

Christ this is hilarious. STFU or I'll get MacGuyver on your collective asses.

IC:

Cravan has recently adopted a new standard issue rifle, and is willing to sell you our G36 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heckler_&_Koch_G36) rifles. We will offer $980 per rifle. Kubra is interested in buying. Do you have any G36E's?

OOC: You don't have to give me links to the guns, I should know what they are or I have disgraced myself.

I did so, that little flash animation brought me and Kara many hours of amusment. you realise this means, we have to develop the Mega Mr Rogers now? You know, this is exactly why I've started the mega weapon conference.

Prince William grinned. They sent in Chuck Norris, aye? Well in that case...

"SEND IN BRUCE LEE!"

Kubra is interested in buying. Do you have any G36E's?

OOC: You don't have to give me links to the guns, I should know what they are or I have disgraced myself.

Just had to make sure.

Anyways...
The G36 rifles I have were designated the C56 in my military. They are a slight varient, adding slightly increased range and accuracy. They are all armed with 40mm UGLs, but this can be changed accordingly. This was done to increase effectiveness against Kraven's forces, but this can be changed at no extra cost.

Prince William grinned. They sent in Chuck Norris, aye? Well in that case...

"SEND IN BRUCE LEE!" I do hope we still have the mega homosexual ready.

Just had to make sure.

Anyways...
The G36 rifles I have were designated the C56 in my military. They are a slight varient, adding slightly increased range and accuracy. They are all armed with 40mm UGLs, but this can be changed accordingly. This was done to increase effectiveness against Kraven's forces, but this can be changed at no extra cost. No, you see the G36E is a variant of the G36. Of course, I would be willing to take any G36C's if you have them for my special forces. I would pay $1,100 for each G36C you can sell me

No, you see the G36E is a variant of the G36. Of course, I would be willing to take any G36C's if you have them for my special forces. I would pay $1,100 for each G36C you can sell me

Essentially these things are G36Cs. So, if you want 'em, how many you need? I'm sitting on a couple million over here... Ever since the change over to the M2C1.

Essentially these things are G36Cs. So, if you want 'em, how many you need? I'm sitting on a couple million over here... Ever since the change over to the M2C1. Our special forces branch is not large, so only 200 will be needed for them.

OOC:
Do you want to RP our special forces training your soldiers?

SILLY IC: "Director Quetzal! Chuck Norris is attacking!"

"Damn! Right when I was about to go to the store for more soup! There is only one solution! You must summon... THEM."

"No... anything but... THEM."

"Yes... THEM."

Deep below the ground, a hideous rite was performed, requiring the death of numerous puppies named Wanta and a few Nana clones. But then, erupting from the ground came the horde:

Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Black Knight and
Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and
Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan,
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan!

OOC: Serious offer coming up soon.

OOC:
Do you want to RP our special forces training your soldiers? OOC: Yes, but not now. Let's start in the morning.

Our special forces branch is not large, so only 200 will be needed for them.

Order confirmed. Thanks for doing business. I will now fall asleep.

Would you need any ammo for it? I've got huge stockpiles of the 5.56 standard NATO rounds over here. And I have no more use for 'em.

Order confirmed. Thanks for doing business. I will now fall asleep.

Would you need any ammo for it? I've got huge stockpiles of the 5.56 standard NATO rounds over here. And I have no more use for 'em. No, we are quite good for ammo.

OOC: Yes, but not now. Let's start in the morning.

OOC:
Aye; well 'ere it IS morning heheh; but yeah no problem if you start the topic and send me a TG with a link in the morning for you then I'll make a post.

Silly IC:

"Sir!" Said a flustered general
"What is it? your interupting my nap time" the president replied with a yawn.

"They have deployed; THEM" the general replied his eyes darting around.

"Great Goddess Freya!" the president exclaimed; "Deploy our Mega weapons"

"Aye sir"

at a secret location somewhere in southen Animarnia; 3 Silo doors opened; a moment later three ICBM type rockets launched there jets aflame; however on closer inspection you could see these were not ICBMs but they were Mega Rogers, Mecha Strisland and Mecha Sydney Potier on there way to do battle with Mega dick and Mega Norris.

"Sir, this battle has gone too far", A man told the Prime Minister.

"Stay awaaaaay from muh wife", The prime minister slurred drunkenly, holding a large jug of beer.

"Uh, I'll just launch the other mega weapons then".

Then, the doomsday machines were unleashed. The mega Harry Potter and mega Drunk and Doped up Hobbit were let loose.

OOC: *falls off his chair laughing*

Silly IC

"OH dear goddess, forgive us, this battle is getting out of control" the General said with a heavy sigh; inserting a key and turning it, a console lit up; entering a long 16 digit code; followed by a Retinal scan to confrim his identity; the computer beeped and a red button lit up; quickly flicked the glass protector open the general pushed the button; alarm klaxons sounded all around as mecha snape was launched.

the appocolypse had truely begun

Kubra was not going to let the Mecha snape to go unchallenged. The mega Ron weasley was sent to help the mega Harry Potter bother Snape.

The 2 giant wizards approached the Snape. Then they rammed it repeatedly shouting "bother bother bother bother" over and over again.

Pale Rider Arms currently has an overflow of obsolete Thunderclap 60mm anti-materiel weapons, as well as several other items. In exchange for rights to build a pair of Aglaia pattern arcologies on Kubran land, as well as full extraterritoriality rights for the arcologies and any PRA citizens thereof, we will gladly supply your army with a variety of weapons. Note that, while obsolete by Pale Rider standards, these weapons are still cutting edge, and quite capable of standing up to any other weapons on the market. A full list of the weapons that are available will be sent shortly.

Eagerly awaiting your reply,
Daniel Quetzal
CEO of Pale Rider Arms
Regent-Elect of Otagia

Pale Rider Arms currently has an overflow of obsolete Thunderclap 60mm anti-materiel weapons, as well as several other items. In exchange for rights to build a pair of Aglaia pattern arcologies on Kubran land, as well as full extraterritoriality rights for the arcologies and any PRA citizens thereof, we will gladly supply your army with a variety of weapons. Note that, while obsolete by Pale Rider standards, these weapons are still cutting edge, and quite capable of standing up to any other weapons on the market. A full list of the weapons that are available will be sent shortly.

Eagerly awaiting your reply,
Daniel Quetzal
CEO of Pale Rider Arms
Regent-Elect of Otagia We are considering your offer, but are hesitant. What exactly are these arcolgoies?

Data on the Aglaia pattern arcology is enclosed.


Height: 700 meters (500 meters above ground, 300 meters below)
Width (at widest point): 900 meters
Width (at narrowest): 300 meters
Floors: 120 (90 above ground, 30 below)
Industrial Floors: 20
Commercial Floors: 5
Residential Floors: 65
Security Floors: 10
Utility Floors: 20
Average Residence Size: 16 square meters per occupant
Residential Capacity: 15,000,000 square meters (937,500 residents)
Power Supply: 3 Nuclear Generators (Fusion or Fission, depending on tech level), solar panelling across skin
Water Supply: Wind traps, local water supplies
Food Supply: Buried aquaculture tanks, buried hydroponics gardens
Defensive Measures: 4 meter reinforced concrete walls, 1000 CIWS and 250 RAM launchers arranged to provide maximum coverage, 20 roof-mounted SAM launchers, 4 roof-mounted 640mm ETC guns, various interior defense systems
Red Samurai Allotment: 36,120


The midrange of Otagian Arcologies, the Aglaia is still larger than any other structure in the modern world. Five hundred meters in height, the Arco is heavily armed and built like a fortress, with SAMs, CIWS systems and RAM launchers studding the exterior, along with a quartet of gargantuan 640mm cannons for naval defense. The structure is designed for use either as a stand-alone bastion in remote areas where human settlement is difficult (the Southern Deserts in Otagia, for example), or as integral parts of a city. With extensive factories for the production of both consumer and military goods, along with enough room to house nearly a million inhabitants, the Aglaia forms the core of many Otagian cities.

Our Nation is willing to give you :
50 f-22 raptor
100 ah-64 apache
1000 M-1A2 Abrams since we've got a new better tank, plane, and chopper
we are also willing to sell you 20 f-35 for a bargain if 100 mil (you can pay it in instalment of 25 mil)

in exchange for an alliance and building an airbase in your nation ( you can benifit from our aircraft also protecting your nation ), we will handle all the construction

his holiness offers the services of the elite chmiera mercs trained at our institutes, we offer 100 of our finest students, we offer them free of charge to begin with for a 6 month period before we ask for a minimal fee, this is more of a training mission for the elite but alos they need to be educated in the customs of another races as so to understand

will you accept our finest into your nation, we als0 offer 5000 troops to you for the tiem being

Our space expansion program is slightly lagging behind, and we wondered if you might be interested in hiring out some of your soldiers, at a reasonable price of course. As of now we would just be interested in hiring 100 soldiers at a cost of 2,500 standard unis per soldier per month.

We will take care of your soldiers of course if you choose to accept.

Data on the Aglaia pattern arcology is enclosed. By the looks of this those arcoologies are fearsome fortress, and would be handy if we came under attack. Ok, building of the arcologies in Kubra has been approved.

his holiness offers the services of the elite chmiera mercs trained at our institutes, we offer 100 of our finest students, we offer them free of charge to begin with for a 6 month period before we ask for a minimal fee, this is more of a training mission for the elite but alos they need to be educated in the customs of another races as so to understand

will you accept our finest into your nation, we als0 offer 5000 troops to you for the tiem being Thank you, but Kubra is in no direct need of highly trained soldiers. A lot of money has been being put into training, which is why our vehicle spending budget was so low.

Our space expansion program is slightly lagging behind, and we wondered if you might be interested in hiring out some of your soldiers, at a reasonable price of course. As of now we would just be interested in hiring 100 soldiers at a cost of 2,500 standard unis per soldier per month.

We will take care of your soldiers of course if you choose to accept. This seems quite acceptable, we choose to accept.

*Cue dramatic mucis*

Mega Cheney activated. The eyes began to glow red as it scanned the desolate city. There were no old lawyers for him to destroy, yet. He began to stomp through the city, on search mode.

"General! Mega Cheney's on the move again!" said the technician.
"How dare you interrupt me! Can't you seem I'm playin' miniature golf! I need silence so that I can concentrate, the windmill is tough" replied General Fuckelberry as he began to tee off.

Our Nation is willing to give you :
50 f-22 raptor
100 ah-64 apache
1000 M-1A2 Abrams since we've got a new better tank, plane, and chopper
we are also willing to sell you 20 f-35 for a bargain if 100 mil (you can pay it in instalment of 25 mil)

in exchange for an alliance and building an airbase in your nation ( you can benifit from our aircraft also protecting your nation ), we will handle all the construction Kubra would be happy to form an alliance with your country. we also gratefully accept the weapons you have given us.

*Cue dramatic mucis*

Mega Cheney activated. The eyes began to glow red as it scanned the desolate city. There were no old lawyers for him to destroy, yet. He began to stomp through the city, on search mode.

"General! Mega Cheney's on the move again!" said the technician.
"How dare you interrupt me! Can't you seem I'm playin' miniature golf! I need silence so that I can concentrate, the windmill is tough" replied General Fuckelberry as he began to tee off. "He's back", the messanger said gravely.

"You dont mean.....him, do you", The commander in chief said in horror.

"Yes, I mean mega Cheney sir", The messanger said.

"Very well, send the mega prostitute."

"He's back", the messanger said gravely.

"You dont mean.....him, do you", The commander in chief said in horror.

"Yes, I mean mega Cheney sir", The messanger said.

"Very well, send the mega prostitute."

This thing pwns all. (http://www.botcollector.com/_images/TFiRL/SpaceballMaid.jpg)

This thing pwns all. (http://www.botcollector.com/_images/TFiRL/SpaceballMaid.jpg) If it weren't for the beauty mark we could mass produce them.

If it weren't for the beauty mark we could mass produce them.

"Mega Maid has gone from suck to blow!"

Mega Cheney saw the metallic prostitute. He brushed aside an orphanage and siezed mega Prostitute and his metal hands grabbed her by the neck and began choking her.

Mega Cheney saw the metallic prostitute. He brushed aside an orphanage and siezed mega Prostitute and his metal hands grabbed her by the neck and began choking her. Mega prostitute quickly flashed off her sleek legs, and gave mega Cheney a peck on the Cheek. The EMP tongue moved around the Cheney.

"Sir, Mega Cheney's come into contact with Mega prostitute and is choking her!" said a soldier

General Fuckelberry teed off "What?! It's not in his programming to do that. Only the Mega Senators can do that!" he replied, the golf ball bounced off the windmill "Dammit!"

"Mega Maid has gone from suck to blow!" OOC: xD That's from spaceballs.

"Sir, Mega Cheney's come into contact with Mega prostitute and is choking her!" said a soldier

General Fuckelberry teed off "What?! It's not in his programming to do that. Only the Mega Senators can do that!" he replied, the golf ball bounced off the windmill "Dammit!" "sir, I don't think mega prostitute has enough motivation."

"Well, we could send in mega pimp."

"Excellent, he can backhand the two"!

A technician yelled "Sir, Mega Cheney's nuclear core is suffering from abnormalities! The core's overheating!"
"That's impossible! So he's having a robotic version of a heart attack?" General Fuckelberry replied, smoking a cigar.
"Mega's Cheney's core is about to reach critical mass" said the technician

*Cue dramatic music*

"he's going to blow" said the technician.

A technician yelled "Sir, Mega Cheney's nuclear core is suffering from abnormalities! The core's overheating!"
"That's impossible! So he's having a robotic version of a heart attack?" General Fuckelberry replied, smoking a cigar.
"Mega's Cheney's core is about to reach critical mass" said the technician

*Cue dramatic music*

"he's going to blow" said the technician. "Tell the mega prostitute to leave him a pronographic picture and run", The commander in chief yelled.

"Sir, yes sir", said the soldier, and gave the order. Mega prostitue flashed some skin, gave him the picture, stole his wallet, and ran.

OOC:
Kurbra - http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10825050#post10825050
Post your arrival, and how many men your sending, current time is 0630 Animarnia standard time, so early morning light etc..

Silly IC:

"OH dear Goddess he's gonna blow" one of the animarnia scientist yelled.

"In public?" another added.

"Yes sir"

"Oh the humanity" another said crying.

"Someone tell me what the Hell's goin' on!" demanded general Fuckelberry.
"Sir, Mega Cheney's core has reached critical mass!" said a technician
"More power, he must defeat Mega prostitute and get that compromising photo back!" barked the general
"I can't do it captain!" shouted Scotty from Star Trek
"Damn it man, I said more power!" Fuckelberry shouted and slammed his fist on the cammand consle.

Mega Cheney became trampling throught he city at top speeds. His nuclear core (heart) began to beat heavily. At the command post red lights and sirens went off. mega Cheney stopped on top of a retard center. A beam of light shot out of him, then another, and another, and another.

"My God" said General Fuckelberry as he stood up and took off his swanky sunglasses "What have we done?"

With that Mega Cheney exploded with the force and light of a thousand suns, disintegrating the middle of the city as the shockwave traveled in all directions. It was an awesome sight as buildings crumbled and a mushroom cloud plummed into the sky.

"Someone tell me what the Hell's goin' on!" demanded general Fuckelberry.
"Sir, Mega Cheney's core is reaching critical mass!" said a technician
"More power, he must defeat Mega prostitute and get that compromising photo back!" barked the genersl
"I can't do it captain!" shouted Scotty from Star Trek
"Damn it man, I said more power!"

Mega Cheney became trampling throught he city at top speeds. His nuclear core (heart) began to beat heavily. At the command post red lights and sirens went off. mega Cheney stopped on top of a retard center. A beam of light shot out of him, then another, and another, and another.

"My God" said General Fuckelberry as he stood up and took off his swanky sunglasses "What have we done?"

With that Mega Cheney exploded with the force and light of a thousand suns, disintegrating the middle of the city as the shockwave traveled in all directions. It was an awesome sight as buildings crumbled and a mushroom cloud plummed into the sky. Mega prostitute got out, but only barely. As fate would have it, mega pimp backhanded her so hard she flew out of the city. Luckily, she had both their wallets.

The shockwave reached the underground bunker. Above ground, where a Krispy Kreme wich was serving as a cover, blew away and exploded. The bunker began to rumble and crack as rubble and debris began to fall. A light hit Scotty on the back of the head, hurling his fat body into the large screen. The lights went out and several places caught fire while huge pieces of concrete came crashing down.
"Where did we go wrong? All we wanted to do was to make the Vice President more powerful than the president" General Fuckelberry said as the ceiling came crashing down.

From the offshore megaweapon carrier, cheers arose from the men. They had finally destroyed mega Cheney, the apocolypse had been prevented.

General Fuckelberry, bruised and with a slight headache, crawled through the debris and rubble towards the surface. He climbed out of the caved in roof, cigar still smoking in his mouth and a golf club in his other hand. He reached the top and stood up. "Such destruction" he said as he surveyed the destruction. A black helicopter hovered overheead and landed. Several men in suits approached Fuckelberry.
"Mega Cheney went nuclear" Fuckelberry said
"Parts of him are still salvageable, we can rebuild him" said one man.
"Haven't you seen the dangers?"
"As far as we're concerned, the experiment was a success. This demonstrated the potential power of such a weapon." the mysterious man replied.

Mega prostitute was docked and then the men decided what needed to be done next.

"The picture might still be there", a soldier said.

"What picture", asked the commander in chief.

"You know, the pornographic one", the soldier replied.

"Holy crap, you could be right! Send in 20 blackhawks full of men, we must get that picture if we have to fight for it"!

"There is no need to worry about the photo, General" said the man "We have already completed Mega Abramoff. He will pay them not to look for it. With his sweet deals and cash, no one will resist."
"But what if he goes nuclear?" the general asked.
"Don't worry about it" he replied and radioed headquarters. Several miles away the blast doors opened up and the elevator took Mega Abramoff to the surface.

i sell u some

HK/B-King Tiger attack helicopter and a cheap rifle



Type : M-41A Pulse Rifle 7.56mm with 40mm pump action grenade launcher and Digital Counter

Ammunition: 10mm explosive tip classless standard light Armour piercing round .M-40 Grenades

Capacity: 99 rounds

The M41A Pulse Rifle is the standard issue for all United Earth Military Marines. It fires a 7.56mm Explosive Tipped Case less Light Armour Piercing round. The M41 uses electronic pulse action to fire, controlled directly from the trigger. The internal mechanism, including the rotating breech, is mounted on free-floating rails within a carbon-fiber jacket. This assembly is recoil dampened to reduce the effects of muzzle climb during burst and full automatic fire. From the thumb selector, the weapon can be set to selective, four-round burst, or full automatic fire, the latter allowing a rate of fire up to the weapon's cyclic rate of 900 rpm.


Specifications

Full Weight 4.9kg
Muzzle Velocity 840m/s
Maximum Range 2.100m
Effective Range 500m
Rate Of Fire 900rpm
Full Clip 99

I personally laugh at that weaopn. It is a mear pee shooter when it comes to the awesome power of our mega weapons.

"Sir, this doesn't seem right", A soldier said.

"Whats' wrong with it", asked the commander in chief.

"Something could go wrong."

"You're right, send in the mega loan shark."

i sell u some

HK/B-King Tiger attack helicopter and a cheap rifle



Type : M-41A Pulse Rifle 7.56mm with 40mm pump action grenade launcher and Digital Counter

Ammunition: 10mm explosive tip classless standard light Armour piercing round .M-40 Grenades

Capacity: 99 rounds

The M41A Pulse Rifle is the standard issue for all United Earth Military Marines. It fires a 7.56mm Explosive Tipped Case less Light Armour Piercing round. The M41 uses electronic pulse action to fire, controlled directly from the trigger. The internal mechanism, including the rotating breech, is mounted on free-floating rails within a carbon-fiber jacket. This assembly is recoil dampened to reduce the effects of muzzle climb during burst and full automatic fire. From the thumb selector, the weapon can be set to selective, four-round burst, or full automatic fire, the latter allowing a rate of fire up to the weapon's cyclic rate of 900 rpm.


Specifications

Full Weight 4.9kg
Muzzle Velocity 840m/s
Maximum Range 2.100m
Effective Range 500m
Rate Of Fire 900rpm
Full Clip 99 we aren't interested in buying.

I personally laugh at that weaopn. It is a mear pee shooter when it comes to the awesome power of our mega weapons.



it dont prove a dam thing

it dont prove a dam thing

The meaga weapons are just jokes. He's joking around. After all, how powerful would a 500-foot-tall Dick Cheney be?

Beyond your imagination. If you tried to imagine it, your head would explode.

[QUOTE=Kulikovo]Beyond your imagination. If you tried to imagine it, your head would explode.[/QUOTE


size dont matter

Beyond your imagination. If you tried to imagine it, your head would explode.


size dont matter

He's right. I could take it down. Especially with my 5,000 nuclear warheads...

Dick Cheney is already evil and powerful in human form. As a 500ft. tall robot, he could destroy the world.

Beyond your imagination. If you tried to imagine it, your head would explode. Wow, just like John Kennedey's head when he saw Chuck Norris block a bullet with his beard!

Exactly.

By the looks of this those arcoologies are fearsome fortress, and would be handy if we came under attack. Ok, building of the arcologies in Kubra has been approved.
We thank you for your generosity. Several Behemoth superhaulers have been sent with your weaponry, along with two carrying engineers and architects to begin construction of the Aglaia pattern arcologies. Attached is a list of the weaponry that has been sent.

Yours,
David Quetzal
Director of Defense


750,000 Predator III 13mm Pistols
750,000 M22-A2 HVAR Assault Rifles
80,000 Thunderclap 60mm Anti-Materiel Weapons
200,000 PRA NBC Warfare Battlesuits

He's right. I could take it down. Especially with my 5,000 nuclear warheads... Even if you were telling the truth, such menial weapons woud never get to mega Chuck Norris.

We thank you for your generosity. Several Behemoth superhaulers have been sent with your weaponry, along with two carrying engineers and architects to begin construction of the Aglaia pattern arcologies. Attached is a list of the weaponry that has been sent.

Yours,
David Quetzal
Director of Defense

750,000 Predator III 13mm Pistols
750,000 M22-A2 HVAR Assault Rifles
80,000 Thunderclap 60mm Anti-Materiel Weapons
200,000 PRA NBC Warfare Battlesuits
5000 PAN-1000 Tetsu no Kami Powered Battle Armor OOC: Wait a minute, are you in FT? If so, then we must render this void. I'm in MT, sorry for not clarifying that earlier.

OOC: Nope, MT, although a bit on the higher end. I can cut out the power armor if it's a bit too high-tech for you.

OOC: Nope, MT, although a bit on the higher end. I can cut out the power armor if it's a bit too high-tech for you. OOC: Yes, my country is not that advanced.

IC: Kubra accepts the weapons provided for the Kubran amred forces. We are grateful and will immedietly put the weapons to use (for training purposes at the moment until a war starts).

i can take it out

i can take it out You obviously don't know how the mega Chuck Norris works. By taking some dead skin that fell of Chuck Norris, werecreated an armour that can withstand any blow. By taking a mold of his footprints, we made a perfect boot for our infantrymen capable of killing anyone with a single stomp. We made a larger pair for our mega Chuck Norris. By taking other various bits such as beard shavings and saliva, we have made the ultimate killing machine.

OOC: Yes, my country is not that advanced.

IC: Kubra accepts the weapons provided for the Kubran amred forces. We are grateful and will immedietly put the weapons to use (for training purposes at the moment until a war starts).

Wait. That means my stuff is ALL far too hi-tech for you. I RP 2015! My tanks use ETCs! Amphorus metal!

Wait. That means my stuff is ALL far too hi-tech for you. I RP 2015! My tanks use ETCs! Amphorus metal! OOC: Damn, well then those are crossed off.

Although anyone can rp mega weapons. :D

i could rebuild Mega Cheney or something.

And I have the mega Chuck!

It would be a fun rp. Quite different from the normal run-of-the-mill rp.

It would be a fun rp. Quite different from the normal run-of-the-mill rp. I agree with you. It's a nice change from the nuclear and civil wars.

Oh, oh, we can rp squads of power rangers! HAHAHAHAHA no.

lol.

Take that Power Rangers! :upyours:

Mega Cheney shall rise again! Or will there be an even more powerful robot?

*Cue dramatic music*

lol.

Take that Power Rangers! :upyours:

Mega Cheney shall rise again! Or will there be an even more powerful robot?

*Cue dramatic music* Nothing can beat Chuck but Chuck himself.

Aaaaaand maybe the pope.

The pope godmodes

The pope godmodes Damn you, my sides now hurt form laughing.

Damn you, my sides now hurt form laughing.
So do mine...!

My humor is my ultimate weapon. laugh yourselves to death!! Hahahaha!

So do mine...! No wonder pope doesn't rp.

I lose to him all the time online. His on-line name is godlynazi

I lose to him all the time online. His on-line name is godlynazi

NAZI :eek:

The pope's ex-Hitler Youth. Didn't you know that?

I lose to him all the time online. His on-line name is godlynazi The admins tried to ban him, but he threatened to sick god on them.

He uses the thunderbolt cheat. It gets me everytime.

OCC: Bump

He uses the thunderbolt cheat. It gets me everytime. He's always teming up with god. It's always 2 against one.

The pope godmodes

LOL! :D Mind if I sig this?

BTW, if you need artillery you can see the link in my sig. It's not very good, mostly RL tech instead of NS tech but meh. [/advert]

LOL! :D Mind if I sig this?

BTW, if you need artillery you can see the link in my sig. It's not very good, mostly RL tech instead of NS tech but meh. [/advert] I think I'll pass on the artillery, but you can sig anything.

My "arms and oil" deal is still open. It is far more direct and easier than dealing with nations, and, due to the highly compeditive direct from factroy prices, it is probably far cheaper.

Also, you could sign a short term contract while you build up your industry, which eliminates your previous grievences.

um . . . bump

Oh, I guess this thread is dead (speaking OOC).

Oh, I guess this thread is dead (speaking OOC). OOC: Well, the demand for weaponry has really decreased. My navy and airforce is still small, but I can just buy some.

OOC: Well, the demand for weaponry has really decreased. My navy and airforce is still small, but I can just buy some.

Ok. Bye.

Ok. Bye. Bye

Ugh, I'm having so much difficulty finding an opening in the war.