Hyperspatial Travel
15-04-2006, 06:43
Note - All goods ordered from the Super Special Storefront may be deadly in the wrong hands, and so we take no liability from any really, really stupid uses of our products
Neutronium Gel - Held in a temporal statis containment field, neutronium gel is perfect for those bad hair days. Want your hair collapsed into a bunch of neutrons? Just risk severe brain damage and/or death, and spray some neutronium gel into your hair. (SSS takes no responsibility for deaths resulting as this being used as a weapon. Hell scratch that, no responsibility for it being used)
Price - $7.6 billion creditdollars
Giant Inflatable Space Wangsplorer - The GISW is an exploratory craft for those of us with a sense of humour. Want to float giant genitalia around someone else's homeworld, or play a practical joke on your friends? Buy a GISW today, and live the dream! (GISW does not come with fully functional FTL drive, however there are two live-support systems in each of the spherical objects at the base, for those people who wish to travel in such a craft)
Price - $2.3 million creditdollars
Nuclear-Powered Toothbrush - Have you got filthy teeth? Have you even got teeth? Well, you won't anymore after purchasing the nuclear-powered toothbrush, a toothbrush that spins at a revolutionary 1200 times a second. (Note: SSS takes no responsibility for any death/artery damage caused by putting this on the teeth for more than 0.3 seconds)]
Price - $1.2 Million creditdollars
Mechanical Pirate - Aren't you cool enough to be a pirate? Aren't you cool enough to even make friends with a pirate? Well, you shall be pirate-less no longer! The Mechanical Pirate'll be your friend! (Note: SSS takes no responsibility for people who are so uncool the mechanical pirate bitchhooks them in the eye)
Anime Boob-Inflater - Tired of watching normal anime? Feel that the boobs in said anime just aren't big enough? Use the Anime Boob-Inflater, and watch the pixels grow and multiply! Comes with multiple settings, from "Really frickin' big", to "Bigger than her torso". Good for parties, and for annoying the hell out of your nearest anime-watching friend who pretends he's not watching it for the boobies.
Amusing IGNORE CANNON - Tired of firing your IGNORE cannon at all noobs you see? Well, you can be tired of it, but in a new way! With messages to amuse the mind, this AIGNOREC is the latest in IGNORE technology! There's some examples below -
- Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're a f**king noob,
so I ignored you - (Standard poem)
- You are a big noob
Stupid noob you are lame.
I ignore you now - (Haiku)
"The One Noob. To Rule Them All. And so I cast the Noob into the fires of Mt. Ignore, and destroyed it, for once, and for all." (Literary)
"Noobs. Whenever you tolerate one, God pwns a kitten. You can understand why I'm doing this" (Inspirational yet plagiarized saying)
"Once a noob went posting, into nationstates
His godmod was large, his wankery strong
Then, he spammed and wanked, and felt man hates
He really kicked up quite a pong
The noob was flaming, trolling, too
He flamed, saying it was a whore
Until I came out to spew
"Noob! It's time for me to say IGNORE!"
He wanked and pretended to be god
He tried to run, he tried to hide
He really looked like quite a clod
But to my IGNORE, he could not have lied
He was gone to me, it was quite fun
But for those RPing with him, it was still glum." (Shakespearean Sonnet)
So, buy an AIGNOREC today, for a mere $6.2 billion creditdollars!
- The SSS may update soon. Then again, it may not -
Neutronium Gel - Held in a temporal statis containment field, neutronium gel is perfect for those bad hair days. Want your hair collapsed into a bunch of neutrons? Just risk severe brain damage and/or death, and spray some neutronium gel into your hair. (SSS takes no responsibility for deaths resulting as this being used as a weapon. Hell scratch that, no responsibility for it being used)
Price - $7.6 billion creditdollars
Giant Inflatable Space Wangsplorer - The GISW is an exploratory craft for those of us with a sense of humour. Want to float giant genitalia around someone else's homeworld, or play a practical joke on your friends? Buy a GISW today, and live the dream! (GISW does not come with fully functional FTL drive, however there are two live-support systems in each of the spherical objects at the base, for those people who wish to travel in such a craft)
Price - $2.3 million creditdollars
Nuclear-Powered Toothbrush - Have you got filthy teeth? Have you even got teeth? Well, you won't anymore after purchasing the nuclear-powered toothbrush, a toothbrush that spins at a revolutionary 1200 times a second. (Note: SSS takes no responsibility for any death/artery damage caused by putting this on the teeth for more than 0.3 seconds)]
Price - $1.2 Million creditdollars
Mechanical Pirate - Aren't you cool enough to be a pirate? Aren't you cool enough to even make friends with a pirate? Well, you shall be pirate-less no longer! The Mechanical Pirate'll be your friend! (Note: SSS takes no responsibility for people who are so uncool the mechanical pirate bitchhooks them in the eye)
Anime Boob-Inflater - Tired of watching normal anime? Feel that the boobs in said anime just aren't big enough? Use the Anime Boob-Inflater, and watch the pixels grow and multiply! Comes with multiple settings, from "Really frickin' big", to "Bigger than her torso". Good for parties, and for annoying the hell out of your nearest anime-watching friend who pretends he's not watching it for the boobies.
Amusing IGNORE CANNON - Tired of firing your IGNORE cannon at all noobs you see? Well, you can be tired of it, but in a new way! With messages to amuse the mind, this AIGNOREC is the latest in IGNORE technology! There's some examples below -
- Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're a f**king noob,
so I ignored you - (Standard poem)
- You are a big noob
Stupid noob you are lame.
I ignore you now - (Haiku)
"The One Noob. To Rule Them All. And so I cast the Noob into the fires of Mt. Ignore, and destroyed it, for once, and for all." (Literary)
"Noobs. Whenever you tolerate one, God pwns a kitten. You can understand why I'm doing this" (Inspirational yet plagiarized saying)
"Once a noob went posting, into nationstates
His godmod was large, his wankery strong
Then, he spammed and wanked, and felt man hates
He really kicked up quite a pong
The noob was flaming, trolling, too
He flamed, saying it was a whore
Until I came out to spew
"Noob! It's time for me to say IGNORE!"
He wanked and pretended to be god
He tried to run, he tried to hide
He really looked like quite a clod
But to my IGNORE, he could not have lied
He was gone to me, it was quite fun
But for those RPing with him, it was still glum." (Shakespearean Sonnet)
So, buy an AIGNOREC today, for a mere $6.2 billion creditdollars!
- The SSS may update soon. Then again, it may not -