NationStates Jolt Archive


Parody (FT)

The Fedral Union
06-04-2006, 03:26
(Before you read this contains furry marital, as you all know I’m a dragon furry, and proud of it, I love all my fellow furs, and hope to fight the rampant anti furrysim that I seem to see, in areas of ns, but any way on to the parody):

Rob *Yawns and gets up from under his desk, he looks around quickly dragging him self up to the chair * Ahh good thing no one saw me..

Meanwhile *bester walks in and Looks around watching as the president drags him self up to the chair he blinked a bit and opened his mouth.. saying* “Uhh… Some thing wrong sir?

Rob *quickly looked over jumping up almost hitting the white roof, he fell back to the chair head first and quickly composed him self* “Ohh nothing nothing.. just… uhh.. Checking for dust bunnies that’s it… yeah..

Bester raised a brow “Yeah… right… he shook his head, well I got the list of … possible things that can go wrong with our new legislation”

Rob responded ”you mean the one about lolerskating?”

Bester …. “No sir, the one about furries..”
Rob scratched his head “Uhh… ohh..Yeah now I remember, when was that lolerskaing one due though”

Bester just stared a little with confusion “Uhh sir.. I have no clue what your talking aobut…”

Rob shook his head” Never mind that I probably haven’t written it up yet” he continued to look around then started fiddling with some papers and a pen on his desk…

Bester sighed then put the list down on the rather organized round table a few steps from the leaders desk .

Bester then spoke “Well sir expect the list not to be that bad, I don’t know why other nations call us nuts for embracing furrisuim …”

Rob looked at him and laughed” because there.. idiots? Buy the way did you happen to see any… ermmn.. dust bunnies? “

Bester had a perplexed look on his face “Dust bunnies, sir ? … never mind I don’t want to know..”

Rob blinked “….”

Bester walked out; rob stood up and shook off his leg, witch was full of dust and lint, his leg got caught on the desk, he tried to shake it off nearly ripping the pant leg he fell on the ground his head hitting the chair the holo comm. falling on his back turning on and reading random messages about oaku cons and furry cons and such, he yelled out “Son of a…!!” he stood up shaking every thing off and brushing him self walking over to the round table “why in the hell did he put that here..”

He walked up to the list and picked it up.. he started reading


Things that can go wrong with furry laws:
1# People might think hunting season started early
2# anti lewdness laws may have to be adjusted to fit no public yiffing
3# Politicians may be implicated in having multiple affair with furries
4# Furries will start mass protests over fur coats and animal testing, leading to fuzzy hair filled streets and massive traffic jams
5# Murring may be added to the list of quiet zone and library noise offense list
6# There will have to be no “large” dragon zones implemented in certain buildings or streets
7# Specially designed Armani will cause higher prices for politicians trying to get there, polita-ware because of extra cost.
8# bird like furries may not be allowed in to mines due to the miners canary syndrome .
9# Fur creams may need to be made because of chronic dry fur in deserts and cold climates
10# playful furries may need to be subdued during military or police exercises due to fears of wandering in to the fir or mine zone, and cuasing death which would seriously cause an incident and start riots over the utter “stupidity” of authorities when conducting training in a public ground…
11# Lawyers and other public officials may need to be ware of furry sensitivity clauses introduced in to local law.
12# Judges Will have to pass sentence on anti fur criminals, in the form of being tied up for a set amount of time and being snuggled and licked by furries
14# The president could be impeached for sleeping with an underage male furry, who he thought was of age because of his size and other aspects
15# Pandemonium may result when furs begin the fur idol on TV causing mass panic and frantic furry fandom and yiffyisims, authorities may need to declare marshal law and spray furries with “Anti cute snuggle formula”
16# Medical professionals will need to train fur doctors with new one piece full doctors suits, to prevent mass fuzzy ness on humans when they are touched.

Rob scratched his head and looked at it “No dragon zones!! I’m a dragon, I find that offensive!” he shrugged then put it down on his main desk and walked out.
The Fedral Union
06-04-2006, 23:13
Rob later on walked back in to the oval office, his pants were rather dusty still as he had just walked through several secret passages inspecting for dust bunnies, he picked up the list again and started reading


17# Furry rights group, shall need to inspect all bunny slipper manufacturing plants to make sure they are not made from real bunnies

18# All Fuzzy dice will now have to have fur approved stamps on them
19# When furs go missing, they shall be referred as Furs gone Elvis
20# All Furry Apartments must have, gyms, scratching posts, and chew toys as a de facto living necessities
22# All Beaches during mating season shall have no dolphin, shark or any other sea furry cuddling/ petting/ feeding signs posted, under penalty of law, due to dangerous yiff conditions in the water
23# Furries may not be allowed into important strategic missile, silos or control rooms due to there big red button complex.
24# Taxes shall be placed on all furry ware, mainly designer collars.
25# Angry reptilian or wolf furries shall not be placed in poisons of extreme importance, due to habits of trying to destroy entire systems or planets with weapons of mass destruction.
26# Doors will fail to open, and gravity will cease to function, evil demonic portals shall open, all of existence will be destroyed, even sea quest will be if a furry stands on, rosy o donnells “star”.


27# Dust bunnies, will be considered pusdo furries and subject to all rights, yes that means no cleaning out dust bunnies or lint, any place.

Rob exclaimed and opened his eyes “what!?!!, NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!, THAT CANT BEEE!!!” He jumped up hit the chandelier on the roof fell to the ground cracking a table, hitting his head on a chair the chandelier fell on him, he lay there a while, then groaned”