NationStates Jolt Archive

It started with a soccer match. Collonie had gotten a great victory over Atheistic Right and had helped its World Cup qualification hopes a lot. This did not please some in Atheistic Right who mailed, from Collonie, some anthrax like powder that led to the crazy King of Collonie, John Fishhook declaring war on Atheistic Right.

The war was on and King Fishhook intended to win. Which is why he called the best mercenaries he could, the Milchamians from the mountanous region called Mongolia. The Milchamians would arrive soon and then the war would begin.

In command of the Collonians was General MacArthur Johnson, it was he who had won Collonie the great victory over Goostapie Plaines in 145 AC and had helped the Milchamians take over Land 18 from the natives in Atlantian Oceania. The Milchamian mercenaries were led by Beast Wallenstein. Beast, who looked like a beast, was one of the greatest Mongol commanders in recent memory. He almost won Mongol independence twice before the overwhelming numbers of the Milchamian army stopped him.

With the cream of the crop leaders on his side King Fishhook felt that he already had the war won.

OOC: This is pretty much somewhere between Napoleon and US Civil War era tech. You get the general jist of this I'm sure

Atheistic Right relied on numbers with everyone from the Age of 14 and up conscripted into the military. Though the majority of them where assigned to run the economy back home and concentrate on producing enough swords, Muskets and Canons for the war effort. The whole society was focussing on the war.

Those that where assigned to be offensive where trained in a number of tactics. Particularily Guerrilla warfare.

In total 50 million Atheistic Right troops had a day of basic training in using a specified weapon. Some people where concentrating on using Swords, others Muskets and finally Cannons.

This would have been impossible for many nations but everyone in Atheistic Right had fundamental knowledge of all these weapons and was generall good in using either muskets or swords.

The man in-charge of the military was a woman, but no-body knew that apart from a few select people in the know. She had a code-name of The Great Lion. And was frequently thought to be a messenger by those not in the know.

(OOC: Tag... Atheistic Right is a puppet of mine and I am only doing this so it's easier for me to keep track of this thread.)

General Johnson had watched his ships sail into the horizon with the Milchamians close behind him. He then realized that he was actually behind the mercenaries but it was no bother as he was going to get there anyway. This would be an offensive war of Collonie, they would never be on the defensive. Johnson had specifically trained his troops for going on the offensive.

He checked the bayonets again, nothing new. He hoped the spies had gotten the numbers for the Darwinist army. He then checked how many he had, 25,000 in his army plus reenforcements arriving. The Milchamians had another 15,000 this gave him an army of 40,000. He knew he needed more to go on a large scale offensive but for now to secure the beaches and stay alive this would do.

The ships would land tommorow and then it would begin...

It suited The Great Lion politically to stay on the defensive so that is what he did. While everyone above the age of 14 was legally in the army, most people where still going around there normal day. And where not in fatigues because frakingly the government did not have the resources to do so or wanted to or use the resources that would be devoted to things like arms manufacturing. There where at war after all.

However while there was no military sent to intercept the Collonian and the Mercenaries from Milchama, there where a couple of small fishing boats. Just large enough to be able to cross the ocean between the 2 nations but small enough to not really draw attention to itself. But would be certainly considered odd if found out in the open ocean.

On this boat where a few of The Great Lions elite bodyguard unit, they are so secret that they don't even have a name. but are frequently called The Unnamed by those whose business it is to know such things. Along with a few of the better conscripted freelance assasins, Saboteurs etc. They sailed in the boat all looking like and acting like fishermen even when there was no one around to see them.

The ships were about to land. General Johnson looked around for some form of opposition but only saw some fishing ships. He told his assistant, "Not our problem don't worry about them." He then got a communacae from the Milchamians, capture the fishing ships they shot on us.

He was ready to start the first battle of the war, he brought the cannon around and then shot the first ship. The shell missed but left a big hole and forced the ship back. He shot again, and this time it hit, crushing the hull of the fishing ship. The people he was shooting though were clearly skilled as they got away from the ship and started moving toward the shore.

"Maybe this landing will contested after all," he thought as he started ordering his troops to move onto the land.

The attack then started on his ships. Some snipers and some good assasins started shooting guns that just missed his troops. Then he saw the first casualties of the conflict when the canon that had opened up hit his men and killed one of his soldiers. Johnson immediately threw himself into the battle, "Come on men don't worry about the cannons, our ships can get them, cover the descent of the men now. Keep up with the Milchamians, calvary charge the artillery, DO IT NOW! Let's go this isn't hard, Men fix bayonets ready CHARGE!!!! Forward, Forward, Keep moving forward FIRE! good shot, second line reload but keep charging, First line FIRE!" Johnson finally saw some casualties as at least five Darwinists fell. "Alright keep moving forward, they're backing away DON'T LET THEM LEAVE! You and you follow them, They CanNot Get Back! GO FASTER!!"

The Darwinists had fled to the woods and a few of the Collonians had followed. The cannons had been neutralized and moved away. General Johnson surveyed the damage, a few scattered dead, a couple more wounded and a successful landing accomplished.

Later the official casualtie report came back, 5 dead and 22 wounded. Not bad at all, he then waited for his spies to tell him how many were dead and wounded for the Darwinist, a long with the size of their army.

2 of the 'fishermen' had died instantly and 5 which had maintained serious injuries where either killed by their fellow soldiers or had committed suicide. That left 7 dead, but still about 16 hiding in the woods. There was a plan, the woods had been laden with traps. This was just one of the surprises that awaited the invaders.

Due to the fact that nearly everyone in Atheistic Right had been conscripted the army was legally everyone, but assuming an unemployment figure of 3%, but they all agree that the number would be an extreme minimum and all unemployed are the actual grunts of the Army the figure the spies came up with was 9 million.

The spies had come back. General Johnson immediately pestered them,

"Well what's the report? How many men do they have in the army and how many casualties did they sustain in their last battle?"

"Well sir the answers are we don't know and 7 dead and as far we can tell none wounded. Although it is important to note that 5 of the dead looked like they commited suicide or were shot by their fellow men. As for the reason why we don't know how many they have, every person over 14 is technically in the army. Their regular standing army is about 100,000 and that will increase exponentially. We expect the number they have defending will be well over 1 million."

General Johnson got mad and heard the spy speed up and then slow down as he cooled down. He then stopped him for a second and then let him continue.

"Luckily, their population is only 277 million while ours is 543 million. The way to win this war is to throw a lot of people into the conflict or pay off a lot of mercenaries. Either that or go on the defensive, because we cannot win attacking with only 40,000 against 1 million plus. Another plan is to sack one of the cities on the coast and build a stronghold and-"

"That's enough, thank you. I like that plan this way when we ask for peace it looks good and we don't lose too many men. Thank you sir."

General Johnson then called in Beast Wallenstein in. "Well here is the intellegence report, what do you think we should do?"
Beast then told General Johnson a great plan...

A Lone Cannon was hidden in the nearby woods, it was well hidden and no Collonian had found it. Of the 16 'fishermen' 4 where dragging the Cannon and the other 12 where staking out it's root, hiding in the trees. They got to just within metres of the edge of the forest but where still well covered and hidden by the forest canopy. A few minutes passed as the cannon was carefully loaded and aimed towards the enemy camp, quick mental calculations provided the angle of elevation and the cannon was lit. As soon as it was lit the 4 carriers had fled and the 12 people in the tree had taken new positions laying a trap for the Collonians. The Cannonball flew through the air. It was not at centre as the people had aimed but it certainly landed well inside the Collonian camp.

.... That same day early in the afternoon a 15,000 strong army and a couple of Warships ARS Darwinian and ARS Galapogan, each containing 9 cannons on both sides of the ship both where to arrive at the collonian beachhead that midnight. Other armies where ready to leave but for some reason had not actually mobilised. What was The Great Lion upto? only time would tell.

Boom! was the first thing Colonel Thomas Mickel heard as soon as he got up. Mickel then put his troops in action "Did anybody see where that shot was? Come on somebody tell me! Damnit just say something!" Somebody finally responded
"I did sir"
"Well" Mickel asked, "Where was it?"
The soldier pointed to patch of trees. "Overthere, the Darwins have all fled from there."
"Good job soldier, let me get your name later come to my tent after this. Anyway, Ok men fire the cannons overthere load ready, aim, FIRE!"

He heard an extra explosion after that, "Good job men, Nice shot. Let's go back and ask General Johnson what he wants done."

Mickel would do that but first he had an appointment with that unknown soldier.

The return volley came from the Collonian forces...

"Damn Collonites!" excalaimed one of the sharpshooters in the tree as the cannon ball struck the tree that he was in. The tree fell but the sharpshooter managed to lead from the tree, however he severely hit his head in the process. He was dazed but quickly recovered, he looked out over the plain towards the Collonian forces... nothing was happening, after some time he called back up to his compatriates"... they are not comming... "all of them lcame down from the tree and waited, hiding in the forest, they would know when it was the right time to strike.

Later that night... the 15 thousand forces where on there way and under the cover of darkness, it was nearly midnight, and there the Collonian camp was with various fires lit... they snuck closer and then charged at the enemy camp...

As soon as the first gunshot was heard.... commands from the sea where heard from the captains of the Darwinian and the Galapogan, they engaged the ships of the Collonians.

General Macarthur was ready for the attack thanks to his spies but did not expect the numbers and the ships were always on alert for attacks like that so the initial impact was not great. Then the second round came and it looked bad as Darwinists broke through on the left.

"Go to the left! Get to the left! They're going to outflank us! Go! Mickel! Get your men to the left ASAP. Damnit we're going to get destroyed! Cannons FIRE!!!!!!! That's good nice hit!"

A good chunk of the line had been taken out and had given time to reenforce the left. That was too close though. But it wasn't over as they continued the offensive

"We all good. Excellent! Wait they're coming back for more Cannon let's stop this FIRE! Nothing is going to stop them unless we kill them all so Cannon let's go again. FIRE! Nice shot again. They are retreating into the woods! Follow them! WAIT!!!!!!!! Hold that they want to trap us stop it. You there and your unit go in, signal if you need more men and if your not getting killed."

After that stressful battle General Johnson got some good news and some distubing news. The bad piece of news was that Collonie midfielder Alan Merchant had been murdered by the permission of the Darwinist government. This meant that there would be total war in Collonie and all men from 18-35 would be drafted for the army. This also meant that international might soon be on the way. Oh how he wanted that.

General Johnson then went out and told the men, bad news first as always.

The Atheistic Right forces had fled into the forest, the original fishermen where still in the forest. They where expecting the onslaught and the fleeing. This had been a calculated plan. While the normal troops where fleeing and involving themselves in running battles with the Collonians. The fishermen had hidden themselves and had nearly taken out a whole squad, that had wondered away from the main pack.

Not only did they kill them but they stripped and put on the Collonian uniforms, the plan all along was to infliltrate the Collonian forces. Exactly what the mission was is still unknown.

Casualty Report on Offensive:

KIA: 8063
MIA: 7165 (estimated 1529 injured)

Estimate on Collonian Casualties

KIA: 4400

The Daily Druid
Reaching the parts no-one else cares about

HISISIMITES REFUSE ATHEIST HELP
By Trefor Turner

The Druidan hisisimite government have refused to offer help to their regional neighbours Atheistic Right in their battle to defend themselves against invasion by the nation of Collonie.

The whole situation began in a World Cup qualifying match between the two, who both featured in Druida's group, although all three failed to qualify. Being a friendly, traditionally atheist nation that Atheistic Right has experienced before, Druida seemed a reasonable choice as an ally in their fight.

However, when the government of Atheistis Right approached their Druidan counterparts, the response was an emphatic "no".

It has always been a Druidan government policy to be as pacifist as possible, spending very little on defence in the process. It is thought that the government keeps only the minimum amount of defence needed at all times, so there would be nobody available to help anywhere else.


"Nonsense, isn't it?"

Trefor Armstrong looked over his shoulder to see a dark-haired stranger looking over his shoulder.

"What is?"

"That we can't help our fellow atheists. Or are you another one of those heathens who believe in some kind of divine intervention. They're everywhere nowadays..."

"What... no. I just don't believe in all this fighting. It's not neccessary at all."

"And I suppose you said that when the FAA were flattening all before them, eh?"

"Well..."

"Can't you remember what it was like when they tried to flatten us all? Don't tell me you didn't want to fight then."

"Well..."

"And these are people that stand up for the same beliefs as you or I do. They just want to laugh at all those stupid stories about how the world started and what have you, just like we do. Any Druidan Atheist with a heart has to feel something for them."

"I guess..."

"Look, the market closes at five tonight. The square will be all but empty by six. Be there. You won't be disappointed."

No signal but the men came back alive. That was weird though Johnson, then he saw that they were not the same men at all but different men who barely recognized their own names.

He quickly rounded them up and took them to prison where they would be sent back to Collonie on a captured Atheistic Right ship. This of course was also tempered by the fact that their international diplomatic offensive had not been working well as few nations had joined up with the Collonians. Only the Druidans had responded and that was moderately at that and came out mostly pro Atheistic Right and Collonie was barely mentioned at all.

This of course meant it was time for the Collonie government to stop being corrupt and start doing its job. General Johnson asked King Fishhook to start telegramming other nations to join the cause and fight with Collonie.

They would start with Druida...

[OOC: Well, while I usually RP using MT, I feel that it would be rather interesting to go back in time to days when the Grand Duchy of Raging Penguins actually had a Grand Duke. And a "Grandè Army". Please, don't ask about the ' è '.
I'll get the full stats for the Grandè Army in later, as I feel that this post is long enough to ensure that nobody is going to read it anyway.]

The Grand Duke sat at his Grandè Desk, looking across his Grandè Office, where his Grandè Mirror had been strategically placed so that he could always look at his reflection, no matter which reclining position he decided to take in his chair.
There was a knock at his door. When he did not acknowledge it, there was another knock. Eventually, the doorknob turned, and his Secretary, Mr. Worris, a rather distraught looking man in a threadbare coat, entered.

"Sir, a telegram arrived just now, from Milchama," Mr. Worris informed him, "It's addressed specifically to the Grand Duke."

"Well, you know where the Grand Duke's Office is, Mr. Worris. Don't bother me," said the Grand Duke, who's name was Laurence Teapence III. "I'm busy."

Mr. Worris sighed. It wasn't easy, being Secretary to the Grand Duke.
"Your Grace, the Duke's Office is this office. It's the one we're in currently," Mr. Worris explained. "And you sir, are the Gr-"

"Oh, dear! Am I sitting in the Grand Duke's Office? I'm so terribly sorry, I wasn't informed! When did this happen, Mr. Worris?!" exclaimed Laurence Teapence III, sitting up in surprise.

"Sir, you are the Grand Duke. And before you ask, you were told this bit of information two years ago, after your older brother resigned in favor of relaxing in his oversized bathtub, accompanied by his female companions."

Laurence Teapence III was slightly perplexed. This was rather sudden, and Mr. Worris hadn't allowed him to ask when he had become Grand Duke, which was what had usually happened at critical times like this in the country's history. He decided to give it a shot anyway.
"When did I become, Grand Duke then? I was never told."

Mr. Worris ignored him and placed the telegram on the desk, where the Grand Duke could see it.
"This arrived by horseback not half an hour ago. It was sent to the Justtundra Plains Telegram station from our trade ally, Milchama, Your Grace," he said, "I'm sure it contains some strangely worded sentence that will hold your attention for hours to come."

His Grace, Grand Duke Laurence Teapence III, looked at the telegram, a dirty piece of paper, which was folded in the middle and smelled oddly of radishes. He opened it up, and read the message, which wasn't worded nearly oddly enough to hold the Duke's attention for hours.
It read:


Warr Peop o. Milch to Gran Duch o. Rage Peng |stop|
Coloni at war with Atheist Rite |stop|
We don't feel like giving much aid |stop|
Send full Grandè Army to assist |stop| Much Appreciated |stop|


The Grand Duke looked at his secretary, utterly at a loss. Usually these sorts of things never reached his desk, and were taken care of by his advisors, ministers, directors, and defrauders, and he'd always find out that he'd won or lost some little war he'd never heard of before or discover that he need not worry about the excess money in the treasury; the minister for public housing had spent all of that on his personal wardrobe. He had never done much more work than showing up to wave at crowds that either were waving enthusiastically, screaming insults and threats, or just sitting there, shivering in the cold. He occasionally had to approve a new tax or give tax cuts to his top government employees, but matters of foreign affairs(war) was always taken care of by his generals.
"Er, get me my minister of defense, my military advisor, my director of the Grandè Army, my defrauder of propaganda and that group of generals that are always hanging around the Grandè Wine Cellars", he told his Secretary, "Get them up here and fetch some updated world maps. I want to know where Milchama, 'Coloni', and, uh, the...'Atheist Rite' are. I also want to know where we are."

Mr. Worris left, and Laurence Teapence III, the Grand Duke of Raging Penguins, was left to stare at the telegrams message for another hour.

.....

About two hours later, eight men sat around the Grandè Desk in the Grandè Office, holding cups of a very bitter liquid known as Greycoldandugly Mountain Tea, which had been outlawed in three nations for its astonishingly bad taste. Most of the men were pretending to be awake, but were having difficulties due to the loud snorting noises they made every time they drew breath.
His Grace, Laurence Teapence III, was still staring at the telegram.
General Snabbel, a retired general who liked to sit around in the Grandè Palace and make sure the younger generals were still maintaining a general sense of proper military discipline in the army, as well as sleeping in the Palace's expensive armchairs, was studying the back of his eyelids intensely. He contributed the occasional snore.
General Whoofers, a brilliant military mind - famous for defeating a far larger force of invading foreigners with a small regiment of door-to-door salesmen at the Battle of Obscurus Tundra, and infamous for his underhanded use of door-to-door salesmen in a world of honorable warfare at the Battle of Obscurus Tundra - was resting his brilliant military mind. His nose seemed quite active however, as it appeared to be consuming much of Whoofers large, bushy mustache.
General Gort, known as Gort the Sport to his enemies for being extremely honorable in combat, and and Gort the Short to his men for being a man of small stature, was awake, and inspecting the map and was busy sticking little red and blue flags into various points of the map. He cleared his throat noisily.
"Well, since we have no port cities with which to reach the ocean to send our entire Grandè Army to aid Collonie, we'll either have to march our troops through three of our neighboring country, carving a path through them to get to the ocean, or we can politely ask the penguin populations to the north if they'll let us use their Iceflow Channel to transport our men down south. I think the answer is obvious: we'll march our men through Dregr-"
"I vote plan B", interrupted His Grace, Laurence Teapence III.
"Your Grace, you always 'vote plan B', even if there isn't one", protested the General, "Your Grace?"
He received no answer; the Grand Duke was busy studying the telegram.
He looked around, and prodded the Military Advisors elbow with his index finger.
The advisor blinked blearily and muttered: "Hmmm? Oh, yes, I agree with what's been said ohmmphermgle..." which was the same answer he'd given when the Minister of Defense had asked him how much sugar he would like in his tea.
General Gort looked around the table for support. Nobody else was responding. Everybody else was busy pretending to be awake, except for the Defrauder of Military Spending, who was pretending to be a government employee.
General Gort scratched his head, confused at this new course of action. Most of the time it was straightforward: if you were going to war with someone, you generally ended up making war with everyone else, which of course mixed things up a little, and made everything a bit more interesting.
If this meeting ever gets into history books, he thought to himself, I'm sure it's going to say that the government had a temporary fit of unusual thinking*.
"Well, I'll notify the Ambassador, and order a full mobilization of the Grandè Army, shall I? And then we'll ship our entire military down to the shores of Atheistic Right?"
"I vote for plan B," offered the Grand Duke.
"I'll take that as a yes."


* This is actually a fairly accurate prediction, as this executive decision is listed as one of the strangest in the History Of Raging Penguins. It's not because it involved negotiating with a population of flightless birds(something that happens whenever arctic scientists get drunk), but rather because it was more rational then invading several more countries. It is lucky, in fact that they did this, because if they had chosen to cut a path to the sea, they would have had to go through the northern tip of Dregruk, a nation which at this time boasted, or rather bragged and obnoxiously paraded around artillery mortars that could lob a shell twice the size of a mans head(and twice the weight of an obese cow) into any city in Raging Penguins with deadly accuracy. Those mortars probably had cute names, like Betty, or Nancy, or some other old-fashioned female name.

There was no good news, no good news at all for The Great Lion. First his attempt at infiltrating the Collonian camp had failed as they spys had been captured and taken back to Collonie as Prisoners of War on the ARS Galapogan, using our own ship against us.

2ndly all requests for aid by the Atheistic Right to other athistic nations that it knew like Druida and Swilatia... in fact that was all, had been refused and thirdly The Collonians had drawn in another nation to aid them. Raging Penguins and their Aristocratic leader. Time for the diplomatic facade of nicities to be left on the wayside... now was the time for an all out assault on the invaders. The current standing army including the 6 or so thousand that survived the initial attack was 200,000 with more coming in every day. 190,000 of that was mobilised to face the Collonians. The force was to meet up 1 day awy from the Collonian camp. The 190,00 coming from all over Atheistic Right to face the Collonians, hopefully if they destroy the Collonie forces before the Raging Penguins arrived then they should win the war

OOC:I'm doing an awful job of RPing I'm sorry

The news had been excellent so far from the diplomatic front. The Darwinists had failed at their attempts and the Collonians had succeeded although rather mildly as they only recruited one nation and a very unreliable nation at that Raging Penguins but at least it was something.

He then watched the reenforcements arrive, they were still expierienced and the new guys had all seen some action from at least being resistance members which was always good. They had dug good trenches and had the guns ready the only things that they needed was the Grande Army to come and all would be ready. In the mean time General Johnson thought they would be just fine the trenches sure looked good.

The 190,000 members of the Atheistic Right Armed Forces stopped short of the Collonian line of trenches that spread across the landscape and they started to dig their own trenches. Further more about 14 ships of the line (with around 30 still available and a few nearing completion) Started to blockadethe beachhead that the Collonians established preventing supplies from getting to the Collonian Troops. They would bide their time weakening the Collonian forces before attacking and driving the Collonians home back to mummy crying their little eyes out.

No one was giving aide to the people of Atheisitic Right at the moment but The Great Lion was confident something would change soon. Either way the Atheistic Right propoganda machine was still going full force with the Atheistic Right civilians. Then someone in the Ministery of External Affairs and War had a brain wave... Target the opposing forces with Propoganda.... They started work on a cannon based delivery system immediately. And they started working out exactly what the propoganda would say.

OOC: Just post more often why don't you... /me slaps Collonie around

The Grande Army would arrive any minute now, General Johnson thought as he went through his transmissions and notes. Well ok they had just left Raging Penguins and it had only been a day but the hope was enough. With the reenforcements from Collonie getting greener and greener, he needed hope of an experienced and good army coming in.

He surveyed the force, he wasn't sure how many men there were but General Wallenstein had told them there was 128,000 now. With the advantages they had with their navy and with the artillery, Johnson thought that the numbers were more like 135,000. The men looked good and confident and ready to win a battle. As Johnson knew a battle was soon to be fought he made sure the navy had everything under control first.

The naval battle had started, Admiral Joseph Wellington had looked for the Darwinists from a long way away and found nothing. Then he checked back to the harbor and found that they had blockaded the ships. Wellington then sent a signal and the blockaded ships attacked and the battle began. With the Darwinist forces outnumbered and surrounded the losses looked heavy for them but they held out. In the end though they had to retreat after Wellington waited and unleashed a HUGE barrage on them that ended up forcing the Darwinists to retreat and giving the Collonians an escape route at least temporarily.

The fleeing Atheistic Right ships came across a another fleet of ships, ships that flew a Druidan flag. While the governement refused to send national troops to help out. A point that would be certainly a point of contention in the future. The Atheistic Right propaganda machine had been running hot within Druida itself. calling for ships and any abled bodied men a monetery reward was promised (and would be paid IF they survived) This netted a total of 40,000 troops (including sailors) and 10 ships. Now that there where some international support an all out Assault could be made on the invading army. The ships landed 2 days walk from the battle lines and the woods where in between them and their enemy.

Back at the Battle lines another 30,000 troops had arrived brining the total forces to 220,000. And with them came the orders... "All out attack in 2 days, you will know when". Hopefully the Collonian spies would have no idea that there where Druidans involved, particularily with the governments denial of aide and with the vagueries of the details even if the Collonian spies probably would have no idea what to expect.

OOC: Yes, I did get permission t5o use Druidan mercenaries...

They had the escape and control of the seas where they were General Johnson was happy. He then went looking for deception.

General Wallenstein had created a brilliant plan earlier where the Collonians would slip around, with the help of their ships and go to a location behind the Atheistic Right troops. There was only one way the plan would work and that was with total secrecy.

They needed the complete control of the seas so that the Darwinists would not know that the ships were leaving and they needed darkness out. Johnson had had them move to get ready to be depleted. He had a few troops left and they would need to get a lot of camp fires to make it look like the Collonians were still there and they needed to make it look like nothing was happening. He also needed the ships to be out and back by morning, in the same positions so that the Darwinists did not know what was happening. The fact that Collonians had created the same ships with the exact same names because of pure incompetence made this a little easier but it was still a big task and it needed to be done quickly because at any moment they could attack.

The sun went down and at 19:00 as planned the pullout started with the special forces. These 2 hours would make or break the Collonian invasion and General Johnson waited and prayed...

On the Atheistic Right front lines this was just a night like anyother. Looking out for whatever signal was coming. They saw none... the fires of the Collonians where burning bright but it looked like there was virtually no activity, apart from the odd weird activity that no one thought anything of the Collonians where almost like they where not there.

The next morning at 10:17AM was when the Druidans had started their attack on the Collonian lines from the forrest. The 14 ships engaged what the Collonians had left. The Atheistic Right lines saw this attack and new this was the signal. Everyone one appart from the cooks and a few orderly type support units (total of 3000 stayed behind) attacked the Collonian lines... to their surprise there was no one there the camp was deserted. They stood around wondering what to do for a minute, someone had already started writing a propaganda article, "Collonians Routed, Fled to re-group" was the title. They had no idea what happened to the Collonians but knew whatever it was no one liked it.

They had cleared the water and the Darwinists had not noticed him. Everything was going according to plan the stragglers had been picked up at dawn and the withdrawal was complete.

General Johnson then saw the Grande Army coming from Raging Penguins. They knew their porpose in the plan as they would go and invade the cities and try to destroy morale while the Collonians would take the brunt of the work and try to destroy the actual army. The ships landed the troops unloaded, as soon as they unloaded they packed up their gear and marched forward to meet the Darwinist army as soon as possible before they could figure out what happened.

General Johnson felt happy with the maneuver and knew that they would have some success in this war after all.

While the Atheisitic Right army didn't notice the move. There was a person that was crazy by Atheistic Right standards. Fishing alone at night was just an invitation for someone to remove you from the gene pool. But somehow noone ever troubled him.. or that he killed any people that tried and used their carcasses to fish with. He did notice them. He was too busy fishing to do anything about it. In the morning he got on his horse and went to the Atheistic Right lines, and told them where they moved... they gaven him a gun and dragged him along with them towards the Collonians
260,000 of them.

The landing had been perfect and they had advanced quickly and according to plan. General Johnson of course had counted on a couple of things,
1. That somebody would see them somehow and that it would not be secret for long and they should not expect to be that secret no matter how well the operation went.
2. The Darwinists would want a big battle to decide the war and the longer he waited the more desperate the would get and the better the position the Collonians would be in.

Now he just knew that he needed to avoid the big battle for as long as possible and find the best position for the eventual battle. His scouts had found a mountain range near the place where they landed and Johnson was going there to place his troops. He also knew that the reserves were landing on the old beach and that all 100,000 of them were ready to meet them at the mountain pass.

The Darwinist Army was about to be surrounded.

"They have mercenaries! Why the bloody hell didn't you tell me?!"
General Johnson was mad, and with good reason his bumbling spy department had known of Druidan mercenaries for a week but hadn't bothered to tell him.

"No they had mercenaries, sir. The nation of Druida has ceased to exist so their mercenaries ceased with them. I swear, one second they were there and the next second they finished it was weird."

"Alright then sounds good, and next time stop being idiots."

"Will do sir."

Excellent they had done dealings with a nation and succeeded only to have the nation cease and the mercenaries destroyed with it.

OOC: If you think that the deceased nation of Druida mercenaries should be treated differently just say so and this post will be deleted.

OOC: Sorry... about the delay in replying..

IC: The Druidan's seemed to just vanish in a puf of smoke, all 40's of them including their 10 ships, they all became puffs of smoke.

Luckily, a 60K allotment of newly trained troups arrived taking the total Atheistic Right Forces to 280,000

The forces where split, 120,000 left the mountain where the Collonians had put themselves in a defensive position to roam the country-side and engage any other armies that they found. Where the 160,000 did not engage the Collonians but decided to keep them Bottled up and the essential seiged the Collonian camp preventing any resources, particularily food from getting to the camp.

There the Atheistic Right forces sat and wait wearing the Collonians down physically and emotionally with various taunts and leaflets describing Atheistic Right Winters... not that Winter was around the corner it was still many months away but they showed that they can and will wait as long as it is necessary to get all living Collonians off their lands.

General Carter, Malcolm Carter was the probably the least experienced Collonian general in the campaign. His talent was obvious as he had managed to outfland the Hunuman Army, twice in consecutive battels in a war in Collonie's old region. However, this was crazy, he had been asked to lead a force of 100,000 troops to enswirl the Darwinists around the hills where the other Collonian army were.
General Johnson knew that he was being relied only for his tactical brilliance and the fact that if something went wrong, Carter would minimize the damage.

As Carter surveyed the field about 100 miles from his target he realized that something had gone wrong. He found about 100,000 Darwinist troops around, he then had to find a way to attack. He did a faint to their left, which, as he expected, they overreacted to and he attacked the right mercilessly. The troops were brave and whatever numbers disadvantage the Collonians may have had was quickly lapsed as the Darwinists were almost surrounded because of Carter's flank attack. The Collonians looked to have taken the day and have won the first major of the war when the Darwinists broke through on the left and were able to escape before further damage was done. It looked bad for them but they had managed to survive.

All in all Carter saw that it was a stalemate. Next time he would fein on both flanks and attack up the center. He had a feeling this would work.

General Johnson got the report on the stalemate and realized that for the first time he had been out maneuvered but saved by his young talented general. He also realized that the Grande Army ploy had worked perfectly as they had capture Galapagos Town and were advancing to Nietzcheville on their way to the capital of <insert name here>. With little resistance they might just be able to take the capital which would mean that the Collonians would have a mad dash to beat the Darwinists to it and win the war.

OOC: Of course this is Collonie not Milchama

The leader of the of the was 120,000 Atheistic Right army division, withdrew from the fight very early and sat back and watched, looking at the tactics employed by the opposing commander.

"Ah, the Feint. Next Battle they'll use it again... That's their main weakness and our main strength, we adapt, they don't. The Feint won't work for them next time

{OOC: The guy is essentially saying "Next time, Gadget, next time")

The main army was still blockading General Johnson and his troops. How long will they survive up there was anyones guess but he's going to make them pay for thinking that Collonie could win.

Galapagos Town was easily captured, Surprisingly the inhabitants not only didn't put up a fight but seemed to collaborate with the Raging Penguins Grande Army. Well that was until the odd soldier started to disappear, a total of 10 soldiers had disappeared.

While Nietzcheville was preparing for the onslaught from the Raging Penguins, when the Raging Penguins finally arrived at Nietzcheville the township seemed deserted. It seemed there was no one there at all, all the buildings where up right all commercial premises where there fully stocked factories had inventory both parts, partly made goods and finished products but no one was there.

OOC: Atheistic Right's government is very de-centralised, the Great Lion at the moment has his base in Darwinia, but even if The Great Lion dies someone else will rise to take his place.There will be a bit of confusion until a new leader emerges but it won't be long, There have been alot of change of governments over the years....

General Gort was not pleased.

He had wanted to face the enemy head on, in an awe-inspiring charge, with the Sergeants looking properly dashing and stern as they lead the assaults on the enemy lines, the Grandè Cavalry galloping bravely out to meet the foe, and the Artillary units pounding the enemy lines, their cannons spitting out hot iron with a loud boom and clouds of smoke. He'd wanted the Grandè Army to arrive and make their enemy turn tail and run, while the dashing young officers of the Grandè Army shouted out orders from horseback.

It hadn't happened like that at all. The Grandè Army had negotiated its way through the Penguin Territories to the north of Bloco'yce, avoiding the seething birds and the dangerously thin ice. They'd purchased frigates, brigs, and all manner of large, heavy looking ships from nearby countries, and had hired several penguins from the Penguin Territories to guid them through the ice flows. After navigating the treacherous straits, the Grandè Fleet had sailed south, making the occasional stop at friendly harbors, to restock their supplies. They had then sailed across the smaller part of an ocean towards Atheistic Right, suffering a storm, and several outbreaks of sea-sickness.

Upon arrival, they had landed, intent on making a suprise advance upon the Atheistic positions. They had marched on Galapagos Town, fighting only a small militia of out-of-town farmers and the occasional drunk. Galapagos Town itself opened its gates to the Grandè Army, and although soldiers vanished occasionally(either kidnapped by dastardly criminals or deserting like dastardly cowards), it was hardly a brilliant military maneuver. They had pressed on, toward Neitzecheville, and had once again found it to be a very disapointing prize. It was empty, and had very little food. There was also no grand battle, just a total lack of people. It felt as if the people of Atheistic Right were totally ignoring The Grandè Army, and had packed up to go take care of more important things.

The Grandè Army had thoroughly looted Nietzcheville, and some soldiers had decided to follow tradition and burn down parts of it - namely the residential and military areas - which they'd done with some satisfaction until a heavy rainstorm came through and doused much of the fires.

General Gort had argued with General Whoofers over the armys next strategy, and they'd decided to do both the honorable thing to do, which was march forward and meet the enemy head to head as Gort wished to, and to ravage the country side, burn every building they set their eyes on, and corrupt the native population by passing out issues of trashy tabloids(which covered all sorts of scandalous behavior*), which was exactly the sort of dastardly, conniving, and dishonorable plot that General Whoofers would come up with. The plan they eventually came up with was centered around the mobility of the Grandè Cavalry.

The Grandè Cavalry, commanded by Commander Wenendowt, was the pride of the Grandè Army, despite being technologically backwards. The cavalry sported gleaming steel breastplates, and favored spears and sabres over pistols or short muskets. They wore shiny steel helmeys, with blue tassels sticking up from their crests, and each rider had the Grand Duke's Grandè Coat of Arms emblazoned on his back. Each Cavalryman was expertly trained to handle a horse, and though they shunned gunpowder weapons, they were still quite effective on the battlefield, especially after some clever engineer had come up with a devious little crossbow which shot three bolts all at once, and could be reloaded by simply pulling back the bowstring, as the next three bolts were clipped onto the side, and connected to the trigger. It was fairly lightweight, and was small enough to be held in one hand. The butt of the crossbow was shaped to curve around the soldiers arm, to maintain steadyness on horseback. The only problem came if it rained. The crossbows, made by Raging Penguins-Born engineers, had one fatal flaw: they were made of cardboard.

However, as the eighty-thousand strong Grandè Army assembled, readying its collective self for a long march, the Cavalry did look imposing. General Gort smiled grimly, or at least, he smiled in the way he thought was grim. The enemy was about to get it right between their Naturally-Selected legs.


*The Tabloids, bought from all sorts of small forign nations, covered sensational news, such as several shocking break-ups between newly married members of Euroslavian Royalty, Exclusive Woodcuts of a Squorneleshian Princess with her ankles exposed, and the shocking account of an affair between a Krytentian War Hero and the wife of a prominant Rejistanian Politician

While the Grande Army where busy burning the town Neitzecheville, thats when the ex-inhabitants of the town struck Some where hidding themselves in the houses themselves in rooms hidden under the floor or inside any number of the larger buildings in the town, others where hidding themselves in caves, forrests and desserts in the nearby region. That was the plan to make them defend the position they thought they would be attacking and at the time when they where focusing on vandalism was the perfect signal for attack. If they hadn't the Raging Penguins might have moved on.

The Attackers where males, females and children down to the age of 14 carrying a variety number of swords, muskets, sickles, planks of wood. Anything that could be used as a weapon or as armour was used.

OOC: It would be good to have a number of your army so then I can give you a number of the attackers that would be appropriate

General Carter already had the next battle plans ready. He knew that the Darwinists would expect the feint again and he was ready with the double feint.

The men had known the battle strategy. There were to be three different groups of people that would combine. The first on the left would attack first and the Darwinists will not overcommit but look like they were overcommiting. Then he would attack on the right and they would overcommit there as he also attacked the weakened center almost simultaneously as the Darwinists would get confused and be split in three and destroyed.

The plan just needed to be executed and he knew his troops could do it. The first attack went without a hitch and an hour later the right side attacked. The Darwinists overreacted and then Carter led the main strike in the center only 15 minutes later. The Darwinists looked confused the general did not know what to do, espiecially after the late calvary charge on the left had exposed that flank to the Collonians who had struck perfectly and had won the day crushing the Darwinists and forcing them to scatter and flee. Carter knew he had two days before they would be totally back together and he needed to make sure that his army was out of there and on their way to meet up with General Johnson to put the final strike on the Darwinist forces.

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General Johnson had completed the escape from the mountains, and was behind the Darwinists who still had no idea what was happening. Or at least he thought and hoped.

"Sir," a man just came on looking tired with an even more tired horse, "General Carter has just won the battle. Will meet up with you in 3 days, but he needs your position."

"Excellent, soldier. Congratulate Malcolm on the win and here is our position...Also wait here while we get you a new horse."

The war was going well, almost too well.

There where sentries posted around at various look outs around the mountain range. Who's job it was to keep an eye out on the Collonians just so that they ddn't escape like last time. So when the Sentry that saw the Collonians left he knew this could be his big break and instead of going to tell the forces... he went to go tell someone else that he knew, however his plan did not go as expected... He met a man, he didn't see his face, he never saw his face that was how come he knew he was the real thing. He told the man what he saw and asked... "what of my reward?" not knowing what it was but he'd knew it'd be good.

He stepped out from out of the shadows and for the first time the Sentry saw his face "... but doesn't that ..." the Sentry stopped short and fell down on his back... dead. A Blade was protuding out of the front of the Sentry as the man walked forward to retrieve it once more... he stood over the Body and said "Yes" before cleaning the sword and walking away.

The troops had no idea that General Johnson was behind them and it was no once again the Darwinists who where under seige.

......

The man leading the forces against General Carter's troops fled the battle early, the horse that he had died in the battle and he quickly managed to escape the mass melee. His troops where too busy dying to take notice of anything else... eventually only 5 thousand of the original 100,000 survived and fled away. All trying to stay away from any settlement or any other Darwinist for they knew... The "General" for lack for a better word came across what looked an old man leading a horse bearing a cart full of smelling, rotting material. He looked like the type that was only alive to do menial labour, stuff that no one else wanted to do.

The General saw the Horse and wanted it, he charged the man, but something happened that he wasn't expecting the man leading the horse with the unmentionables parried the blow and knocked the General flat on his back... It was then that the man lifted his cloak, and total demeanor changed...

"It's ... It's... It's YOU!" exclaimed the General

"Yes." said The Great Lion

"We... We... battled a Collonie force..." the General stuttered

"and lost." added The Great Lion there was no change in his pitch, the Great Lion never revealed his emotion.. unless it served a purpose.

"Yyyyy...eeesss" Stammered the General

"Good..." the Great Lion cooly stated...

"Good?" puzzled the General...

"Yes... and General Johnson is about to entrap about a 160 more thousand troops. You see we are lullying them into a false sense of security... All the people we sent into battle so far are fodder. Plain and simple..."

"But 260 thousand?"

"Yes... Why do you think I have conscripted everyone into the army? It's to hide our real army numbers... we have millions of people I could call up at a moments notice."

"But why not just send the millions into battle now?"

"That's no fun!" exclaimed the The Great Lion... "Oh, by the way, you are no longer required." said The Great Lion as his Sword went Thud through the general and into the ground below...

General Johnson just realized something terrible and spectacular was happening at the same time. He had been here for months with some succeses but now it looked like his time was ending. A Starblaydi had made it through the lines and had told him that they would take care of the Darwinists and that the Collonians will need to move out.

Johnson knew that the war was a success for Collonie. They had one several great battles and had announced the arrival of General Carter who had won two great victories over the Darwinists. Though as he looked at the shoreline of Atheistic Right for the last time he couldn't help but think they had unfinished business there. Aw well, he was away and they had won the war. He just hoped that the next war he was in would have a real ending, with him more prominently involved.

The Collonians had left, they where scared of the Armada that had been forced upon them.. by the Starbladyi, Bazalonians, Lamonians and any other number of nations in Atlantian oceania. The Great Lions plans where actually going fairly well... there was a plan and it was going faily well... They where going to let them think they whave won and then strike when they weren't expecting anything either way The Great Lion had other things to think about... particularily about his weapons.