NationStates Jolt Archive

CREST Headquarters, Liberty-City, Allanea

“Well, well. Those Amestrian jerk-offs do have a point, there.” - said the Director of the Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Taskforce. He was a middle-aged man with a big black moustache, dressed rather conservatively for an Allanean. His clerk, a green-haired youth with gilded rings studding his upper lip, smiled.

“What point do they have, Sir? We can't arrest him for causing wartime casualties, can we? Even if the Allaneans didn't cause most of the deaths, arresting him for that would be...”

“No. You don't understand. He and his cronies had backed the Loyalist faction. Let me repeat this to you, crystal-clear: They have backed the Loyalist faction. The corpse-eating dudes. I think that is something he should stand before a jury for. Go contact the Supreme Court clerk .We'd need a warrant from the Chief Justice himself to bust a President.”

The clerk ran off immediately. In the meanwile, the Director took out his huge service Desert Eagle Mark XIX handgun, and began to disassemble and polish it. That gave him peace of mind before the task he was about to accomplish.

When he was done, he sent off several confidential emails to various Allanean and foreign press entities. They were informed, in brief, that a former US President was to be arrested, and that they had to keep quiet about it until the day of the arrest. In return, they would be invited to accompany the agents on the day of the action.

“Let's hope I don't get fired for this one,” - chuckled the Director as he hit the SEND button.

To: Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Taskforce
The United States of Allanea

From: Ms Elizabeth Amalia
Xirniumite Broadcasting Corporation

To whom it may concern.

Thank you for notifying XBC News of your government's intention to arrest and try the former Allanean Head of State for his support of the Loyalist Galf faction during the Antanjyl Civil War. Journalists from the XBC would be more then willing to accompany your law enforcement agents while they make the arrest in order to cover the affair.

[Signed]
Ms Elizabeth Amalia
Xirniumite Broadcasting Corporation

To: Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Taskforce
The United States of Allanea

From: Marguerite Durand
Le Canard Blessé Newspaper

To whom it may concern.

Thank you for notifying our newspaper of your intent to arrest former President Klotchovsky for supporting the Loyalist faction during the Antanjyl Civil War. The Le Canard Blessé shall dispatch one of its best foreign correspondents, Ms Maria Auclert, to accompany Allanean law enforcement in the arrest of citizen Klotchovsky.

[Signed]
Marguerite Durand
Editor, Le Canard Blessé

The Le Canard Blessé, because Amestria is a society that does not allow private automobiles and so the vast majority of its citizens cannot drive, calls to arrange transportation for Ms Auclert from a private Allanean company (good but inexpensive transportation).


(OOC Note: Le Canard Blessé means in Amestrian "The Wounded Duck")

Church of Scientology Headquarters, Liberty-City, Allanea

“…so, do you honestly feel this man is guilty?” – asked the Auditor, giving the Director a warm, compassionate smile. The latter nodded. “Absolutely so, Michael. I feel that there are very big reasons to suspect this man has committed a very serious crime, and for this crime he deserves to be arrested, tried, and punished as severely as can be.”

The Auditor nodded. “I understand. So, you say that you feel that perhaps your motive is impure… tell me, would you do this if you knew the person was completely innocent – just to gain the media exposure you are seeking?”

“No,” said the Director sternly. “I would not violate the very purpose of my job and existence for a few camera shots.”

“Exactly my point. You do not need to worry. You are doing a very important job, and you are bringing a criminal to justice. Your motive does not matter all that much for this.”

“Thank you, Michael.”

He rose, and walked out of the building.

Chief Justice Antonin Regalio’s office, Supreme Court of the United States

“Oh God…” – the Chief Justice gulped as he looked at the ‘body of evidence’ – several dozen leaflets, copies of newspapers from the time, and official announcements on Presidential letterhead. “I see you have quite the case. Let me just sign it here…”

He reached for his ballpoint pen. Under Allanean law, all warrants had to be filled out and signed manually, to prevent judges forming stacks of pre-signed warrants to hand out to Federal law enforcement. So it took Justice Regalio a few minutes to fill the warrant out. It took forty more minutes for the young CREST operative to carry it to the CREST headquarters.

In the meanwhile, Mc. Maria Auclert was greeted at the airport by a dark-blue taxi owned by one of the many small taxi companies at Liberty-City. The driver was instructed to drive the lady to a hotel of her choice, and to inform her of ways to get to the CREST headquarters – alternatively known as the Peter McWilliams building – by noon the day after.

The Xirniumites would be given phone numbers and contact emails with several rental agencies, as well as links to several Allanean hotel companies. Both were also mailed .pdf copies of the Tourist’s Guide To Liberty-City– a small guide to the various pleasures and luxuries of the city, de-facto, as well as guides to the city's main monuments - the Drug War Museum, the Charlton Heston Monument, and so on, and so forth.

In the meanwhile, Mc. Maria Auclert was greeted at the airport by a dark-blue taxi owned by one of the many small taxi companies at Liberty-City. The driver was instructed to drive the lady to a hotel of her choice, and to inform her of ways to get to the CREST headquarters – alternatively known as the Peter McWilliams building – by noon the day after.

Ms Auclert was tired; flying from Europe to the United States meant changing numerous time zones. She was 34 years old, five foot five, and rather thin. She was dressed professionally and would have looked very much the average Bourgeoisie Amestrian women, that is, if it were not for her hair. Her hair was raven black with the edges dyed a deep blood red. Maria had just recently finished an investigative report on Amestria’s Gothic subculture and she had not found the time to remove the red. Not that it mattered, she reasoned, as here in Allanea her hair would fit right in.

With her were Jane Avril, her photographer, and Jean Cocteau, her assistant. Jane Avril was 25 years old, five feet tall, and of moderate weight. She had short blonde hair (dyed) in a boys cut and noticeably wore men’s clothes. Jean Cocteau was 32 years old, five foot four, and of average build.

“Yes, I am Ms Auclert,” Maria replied as she greeted the taxi driver. “Hallo, it is a pleasure to meet you. This is my party. We would like you to take us to the Blue Unicorn.”

Liberty-City International Airport, Allanea

Elizabeth Amalia sighed impatiently as she finally spotted her luggage (hidden amongst several other people's personal items) on the baggage carousel of the Allanean airport and, after claiming it, hurried to rejoin the rest of her group.

Aged in her early thirties, the Xirniumite reporter was stunningly gorgeous - tall and slender with dark lipstick and eyeshadow. Impeccably dressed in an expensively well-cut and sophisticated, dark-grey suit, three inch high-heeled shoes and a silk blouse, Elizabeth wore a long, tight skirt whose hem came to just below the knee.

‘So… are we ready to leave?’ asked her colleague in a voice veritably dripping with boredom. As always, Michael Stirmeg (a balding man in his mid forties) was dressed in a well-tailored, navy-blue pin stripe suit with fedora hat, a business tie worn with a flawless Windsor knot, and an expression of mild annoyance.

‘Certainly,’ replied Elizabeth, leafing through the various pages of junk (glossy tourists’ guides and advertising pamphlets for various transport and accommodation firms) sent to her by the Allanean government. One of them, however, seemed fairly interesting - a map showing various decent hotels in Liberty-City. ‘Let’s try to get a taxi,’ Amalia suggested, picking up her bag before walking off.

The streets outside bustled with traffic and people, and it did not take long for the Xirniumite journalists to hail a cab. ‘Take us here,’ ordered Elizabeth Amalia curtly, pointing to one of the better hotels indicated on the map.

OOC: Mainland Allanea (which is where you’re at) is not really geographically similar to the United States RL. But okay.

IC:

The driver smiled merrily at the noticeably foreign ladies, waving to Auclert – to him, she looked the most respectable. In Allanea, informalists of all kinds were very much the dominant force – as the variety of piercings, tattoos, and suspension marks on the taxi driver’s skin showed quite eloquently. He wore a T-shirt that said Only a roleplayer can truly say that he fought skeletons and rode with dragons and his taxi was bedecked with fuzzy dice. 20-sided fuzzy dice, that is.

“The Blue Unicorn? Okay,”- he spoke as they got into the taxi – surely too big a car by Amestrian standards, as it was a heavily modified Ford Escape 6, and had a submachinegun mounted next to the driver’s seat. It had a set of racks in the back window, as well as special hooks on the back of the seat, the better to accommodate a passenger’s weapon.

“Very well, Ms. Auclert. Just so you know, this state ain’t got no speed limit on the intercity highway, and since that there Unicorn is on the edge of the city, can get you there in no time at all.”

The car tore out onto the highway, its speedometer rising into realms unknown, the multicolored roofs of the suburban homes mixing into a single blur below the highway. Fifteen minutes later, they would be at the Unicorn.

The Blue Unicorn Hotel was a twenty-story building, painted blue, towering above the sea of suburban homes around it. Adjacent to it was a luxurious amount of property converted to a variety of uses for the visitors of the hotel – a golf course, a shooting range, and two swimming pools. In the front yard stood a three-story-high statue of a rearing unicorn – deep blue and bedecked with a variety of blue lightbulbs.

The rooms, too, were bedecked with an astonishing amount of electrical goods – even, surprisingly, a computer linked to a flatscreen television on one of the walls – apparently, the television services were given over IP. In addition to that, a small gun locker was provided in every room.

Furthermore, as the reporters entered their room, they would discover a nice stack of varying advertisements – for every kind of entertainment from sporting events and to sexual services.

* * * *

The Liberty-city International Airport is positioned slightly away from settlement – even though at the present rates of sprawl, it will be taken over within five to ten years. So, to allow the arrivals to get to the city, swarms of multicolored taxis (the only indicator of a taxi in Liberty-City is the word TAXI, written in a brightly visible fashion in several places on the vehicle, usually on a glowing light on top) – swarms of multicolored taxis descend every morning on the airport, willing to speed their clients to their hotels.

Those taxis are not necessarily wheeled. Moller aircars, light helicopters – blessedly unregulated – and passenger hovercraft all compete for the attention of the tourists. One of those varied vehicles would probably also be used by the Xirnians.

Two days later, they would be contacted by CREST.

"All is ready," - said the person on the other end of the line. "Will you arrive at headquarters yourself or should we send for you?"

"All is ready. Will you arrive at headquarters yourself or should we send for you?"
‘The Allaneans want to know if we will be making our own way to CREST Headquarters or if they should provide transportation,’ explained Elizabeth to her colleagues, a svelte hand held over the telephone’s receiver.

Amalia was lounging on one of the armchairs of the hotel suite’s main sitting room, her long legs draped casually over one of the arm rests, and had been idly flicking through the television’s many channels when the call had come. All mindless rubbish… reflected the journalist, sifting through the mass of trashy talk shows and daytime soap operas.

‘Whichever is less likely to get us killed,’ replied the group’s video camera operator sourly. Even though the Xirniumites had sensibly decided not to take one of the many air-car or light helicopter taxis available to get from the airport to their hotel (Amalia having voiced the condescending suspicion that most of the pilots of the aircraft probably didn’t even possess a pilot's licence) the journey had still not been particularly pleasant. Of particular cause for concern was the alarmingly high number of people who seemed to be carrying military-grade firearms in Allanea.

‘One would assume that drivers in the employ of the government might be slightly more capable of chauffeuring people safely,’ added Michael Sitrmeg sardonically.

‘That would be a dangerous assumption…’ explained Amalia. Still... it will save having to find another cab...

‘If it isn’t too much trouble, you may send for us whenever you are ready,’ answered Elizabeth, removing her hand from the receiver in order to speak to the person on the other end of the line.

OOC: You must not forget that even our daily shows are much more overt about violence or sex then yours. Check out this here thing about Allanean culture:
http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Informalism

IC:

Look, she's smiling! Smiling! The girl definitely just smiled! – Peter Kirienko smiled back at the blood-splattered character on the screen of his onboard DVD/TV player. Oh well. He’s seen Battle Royale six times before – the first as part of his homeschool curriculum when he was 14. He could skip watching it a seventh time on television – especially as he had to start the car. The black vehicle (painted with flames on the hull, rocker-style) – tore out onto the road, it’s engine singing a song of triumph, the bumper stickers spread on its fronts like victory markings – CREST ACADEMY GRADUATE, I DRIVE AND I VOTE, VIVA LA PARKER REVOLUTION and so forth.

Kirienko preferred to drive his own car on CREST assignments – it was faster, bigger, and it had some nice modifications – twin loudspeakers that would shake up any neighborhood. It was a remodeled copy of the Ruger Ram (http://www.ruger-firearms.com/RugerRam/), built up to date with the latest of Allanean technology – an ethanol-driven diesel, electronical bells-and-whistles everywhere, studded with logos of Allanean Arms, the maker of the vehicle.

Thirty minutes later, Kirienko arrived at the hotel. He was wearing black jeans, glinting crocodile leather boots, and a “Hawaiian” T-shirt. He was of course armed, carrying a Teacher’s Special in a shoulder holster (open-carried, naturally), and what would appear to the Amestrians to be an oversized Bowie knife at the belt. His “truck gun”, the old-style M4A1, remained in the car, between the seats.

He flipped his badge open in front of the Xirniumite journalists. “CREST, Junior Desk Agent Kirienko. I am at your service.”

* * * *

The office of the Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Team was in turmoil. Agents rushed to and fro, preparing the last details before the arrest of Klotchkovsky. The arrest warrant, on one count of conspiracy to violate civil rights under color of law, and five counts of criminal incompetence, was lying on the table, weighted down by a whiskey flask. On the roof, two helicopters idled, ready to fill up with operatives.

In the midst of all this mess towered Lionel F. Morris, the Director of CREST. He twirled one end of his magnificient moustache and waved hello to the reporters.

OOC: You must not forget that even our daily shows are much more overt about violence or sex then yours.
OOC:

The Eternal Republic has extremely powerful anti-censorship laws, so I'm not certain that Allanean television would necessarily depict sex and violence more overtly than Xirniumite television.

OOC: The bit is not the laws, but the fact our society treats sex and violence much differently. We don't, for example, have any problem with something like Battle Royale (which the MPAA refuses to even rate) being shown to 14-year-olds. I can go into detail as to WHY, but you get my point. Our television is mostly TVOIP - as in, an additional service to get over your computer, so it's very niche-marketized, too... but this all should be a matter for a separate thread.

OOC: Mainland Allanea (which is where you’re at) is not really geographically similar to the United States RL. But okay.

OOC: I am assuming it is on the other side of the NS Atlantic.

IC:

“The Blue Unicorn? Okay,”- he spoke as they got into the taxi – surely too big a car by Amestrian standards, as it was a heavily modified Ford Escape 6, and had a submachinegun mounted next to the driver’s seat.

The submachine gun gave Maria an idea for an excellent satirical article. She whipped out her note pad and began writing.

The car tore out onto the highway, its speedometer rising into realms unknown, the multicolored roofs of the suburban homes mixing into a single blur below the highway. Fifteen minutes later, they would be at the Unicorn.

The Blue Unicorn Hotel was a twenty-story building, painted blue, towering above the sea of suburban homes around it. Adjacent to it was a luxurious amount of property converted to a variety of uses for the visitors of the hotel – a golf course, a shooting range, and two swimming pools. In the front yard stood a three-story-high statue of a rearing unicorn – deep blue and bedecked with a variety of blue lightbulbs.

The Amestrian’s unloaded their bags from the taxi. Jane Avril looked up at the blue monolith before her, glanced at the unicorn statue, and took in the suburban surroundings. “Comment dégoûtant,” she remarked. “Le culte collectif de individuel matérialisme. Six milliards de peintures de Schlamm…*”

“Cessez de critiquing la scène locale et aidez-nous!**” Maria replied as she and Jean walked past, bags in hand. Jane turned around and found that the two heaviest bags had been intentionally left for her to carry. Bastards!

(*OOC: How disgusting, The collective worship of individual materialism. Six billion paintings of mud…)

(**OOC: Cease critiquing the local scene and help us!)

The rooms, too, were bedecked with an astonishing amount of electrical goods – even, surprisingly, a computer linked to a flatscreen television on one of the walls – apparently, the television services were given over IP. In addition to that, a small gun locker was provided in every room.

Furthermore, as the reporters entered their room, they would discover a nice stack of varying advertisements – for every kind of entertainment from sporting events and to sexual services.

Jane picked up one of the many magazines advertising sexual services. This at least was familiar; many of Amestria’s metropolitan hotels also provided the option of hiring the services of a night time companion and playmate. Maria however was having none of that. “We do not have the budget,” she explained as she snatched the magazine from her companion’s hand. “We are here to write, so look for suitable material.”

“You’re no fun.”

Two days later, they would be contacted by CREST.

During that two days Maria finished her article and emailed it by her own personal laptop to Ms Durand. It was printed in the Le Canard Blessé’s humor section the following day.

* * * *

Le Canard Blessé (English Addition)

Lack of Gun Control Allows Allanean Man to be Different
By Maria Auclert

Liberty City, Allanea- Thanks to the complete absence of regulations in the United States governing the sale, distribution, and use of firearms, Jeb Smith can live his individual existence to its fullest. “God bless Allanea,” remarked the overweight, balding, XM8 rifle touting man as he straightened his tinfoil hat (used to keep the “New Order from listening in”). “Unlike other nations and their evil satanic regulations, Allanea allows me to fully express myself and my individuality.”

Mr. Smith proceeded to take us through the compound he repeatedly referred to as “his house,” proudly showing wall after wall of assault weapons, submachine guns, semiautomatics, sniper rifles, grenade launchers, and bazookas. “As large as my collection may seem I have seen larger…” Smith remarked absentmindedly as he surveyed the arsenal that would put most third world militaries to shame.

Smith next showed us his ammo locker, full of Teflon coated “cop killer” bullets, cyanide laced sniper rounds, and special armor piercing slugs capable of stopping a tank or bringing down an intercontinental airliner. “All good for keeping the gov-ern-ment from getting all uppity on your ass…” He went on to graciously let us see the garage and his “blessedly unregulated” helicopter. Smith gleefully explained how when loaded with enough fuel it could be turned into a “massive suicide bomb capable of bringing down a skyscraper,” and on the way to the target “could serve as a high altitude sniping platform.”

“Between the Reaper 6000 and the Grave Maker 900 Smith mentioned his religion, which Allanea also allows him to follow unimpeded. “I am he who has properly distinguished the word of GOD from all the deceits that surround us and truly knows the WILL of the Almighty.” He touched briefly upon the revelation through which God told him that “the end was nigh” and that he should start stalking up for “the coming collapse and battle to inherit the Earth.” Politics also entered the conversation, with Smith insisting that the world (“outside of blessed Allanea of course”) was ruled through the UN by a shadowy cabal called the “New World Order” that served someone called the “dark one.”

Having thoroughly enjoyed his hospitality we proceeded to say goodbye to Mr. Smith, thanking him for an afternoon well spent.

Disclaimer: The above is a work of satire.

* * * *

Meanwhile in Amestria, the Le Canard Blessé called up multiple Amestrian newspapers, among them L'Amestria Zeiten, Le Monde diplomatique, L'Humanité, and L’Amestria Soir, as well as the Amestrian Public Broadcasting network. It promised each paper/broadcaster pictures and first person accounts of the arrest in exchange for lucritive payment.

* * * *

"All is ready," - said the person on the other end of the line. "Will you arrive at headquarters yourself or should we send for you?"

“Please send for us,” Ms Auclert answered.

OOC: Amestria, you are God on Earth. I hereby claim the right to use the gun models Reaper 6000 and Grave Maker 900 in my future RP. One minor nitpick: Teflon-coating a munition does not armor-piercing power confer. Also, as my girlfriend said: "This is no satire in Allanea".

IC: The renovated Allanean Arms-copied H2 tore into the Blue-Unicorn’s yard, spinning in place as the driver stood on the brakes. The vehicle was an open-top variant, with the roll bars bedecked with multi-colored stripes to the taste of the driver – in this case, a young lady with her head shaved bald and a variety of designs tattooed onto it.

She waved happily to the Amestrians: “Hellooooooooooooo there, buddies! I’m Chiana, your driver!”

And – eventually – the Hummer 2 took off, rolling down Temple Street and towards the CREST headquarters.

Temple Street – as the name implies – is the street in Liberty-City where various congregations traditionally build their churches and temples – Evangelicals, Scientologists, Jews, Satanists, Slaaneshi, Catholics, Sirithilists, and so on ad infinitum had built their national headquarters here, each seeking to eclipse the others in sheer size and magnificience.

Chiana, of course, happily explained the purpose of the different buildings as she drove on.

A strange blue card was attached the windshield of the small vehicle from within. “That? That’s my driver certificate. Given by the insurance company – they get you to pass driving tests before they insure you… no, the government doesn’t license drivers. Not in this state, at least.”

“CREST, Junior Desk Agent Kirienko. I am at your service.”
‘Ahh, wonderful,’ replied Elizabeth Amalia with a sultry smile. Internally, the Xirniumite journalist frowned as she silently regarded the Allanean CREST officer. With his holstered pistol and hunting knife, crocodile boots, and gargantuan-sized pickup truck, Peter Kirienko looked more like a rancher or livestock herder then an employee of the government, a “Junior Desk Agent”. Compared to some of the other Allaneans that the Xirniumite news team had seen, however, Kirienko could almost have been described as conservatively dressed.

‘I’ve always wanted my very own cowboy,’ she added teasingly, offering her hand.

Stirmeg merely rolled his eyes in annoyance. Another loud, irritating, Allanean…

‘Michael Stirmeg, XBC News,’ he introduced himself stiffly, extending his hand for Peter to shake. ‘This is my esteemed colleague, Elizabeth Amalia, and our camera operator, Jack Witterby,’ Stirmeg explained, gesturing to either person. Witterby nodded briefly in greeting to the Allanean.

‘Shall we proceed then, gentlemen?’ asked Ms Amalia impatiently, already moving towards the vehicle. Elizabeth noticed an automatic assault rifle casually left between the seats of the Allanean's pickup truck, but it no longer surprised her overly much. After all, this is the nations when both teachers and their adolescent pupils legally carry firearms to class… thought the journalist disdainfully.

****

Mayhem reigned at CREST headquarters (the “Peter McWilliams” building, as it was called by Agent Kirienjo) and the Xirniumite reporters found it a difficult proposition to try to stand out of the way and prevent themselves being jostled by the busy Agents.

Noticing a man wave to get their attention, the journalists quickly approached and introduced themselves.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Naerath,
The Eternal Republic of Xirnium

‘Dr Daentra? Charles Harmsworth of the Daily Herald. Do you have time for some brief questions?’ asked an eager young reporter in his early twenties, catching up with the briskly walking Deputy Secretary of the Foreign Ministry.

It was early morning, and the majority of Xirniumites were busy making their way to work (predominately via public transport). The weather was quite pleasant for this time of the year, though it had showered earlier, and a feeble sun peeked out from behind overcast skies. Though it wasn’t raining, it was very cold, and a chilly breeze gripped those outside like an icy vice.

Carolyne Daentra stopped walking and checked her pocket watch. So long as she didn’t tarry for too long, the Deputy Secretary reasoned, she would have enough time to talk with the reporter and still make it to work on time.

‘Sure,’ replied Dr Daentra with a shrug. As a civil servant, Carolyne was not accustomed to so much media attention, and found it quite an exciting change. ‘Let’s just move out of the way so that others can get past,’ explained the Deputy Secretary as she walked to the side of the pavement.

‘I was wondering, Dr Daentra, if you had heard of some of the criticisms levelled against your comments by the Savage Factor, a programme on ANN?’ asked the journalist.

‘Unfortunately, I’ve never had the dubious honour of watching the Allanean News Network…’ explained Carolyne, laughing flippantly.

‘Neither had I, to be entirely honest, Doctor,’ confessed Mr Harmsworth. ‘Very well, at one point in the programme, the host asked, and I’m paraphrasing, that, if you didn’t think that Allanean attempts “to introduce jury trial, private transport, and freedom of speech” in Antanjyl had anything to do with civil liberties, what did you think constituted advocating civil rights? What is your response, if anything, Doctor, to that?’

‘Well, to begin with, the democratic Antanjyl government did, to the best of my knowledge, protect the civil liberty of freedom of speech,’ replied the Deputy Secretary. ‘At the time just prior to the illegal Allanean punitive military campaign against the sovereign Antanjyl government, the Antanjylese people had been staging large, nation-wide, public demonstrations calling for the end of foreign occupation in their country. Indeed, one of the nations that the people of Antanjyl demanded vacate their nation was Allanea, which later attempt to impose their own peculiar socio-economic ideology on the nation by force.

The jury trial issue is perhaps more problematic. Xirnium, as no doubt you are well aware, Mr Harmsworth, has a proud, centuries-long tradition of using juries to determine issues of fact in Xirniumite criminal trials. This does not, however, mean that it is the only way for a justice system to operate.

It would, in my view, be quite fallacious to suppose that the only fair way of ascertaining matters of fact is by the examination, by a jury of one’s peers, of the oral testimony of witnesses who are subjected to cross examination on behalf of parties who disagree with what they have said (as occurs in Xirnium).

Such a procedure is peculiar to litigation conducted in Courts that follow the Common Law system of procedure, it plays no part in the procedure of Courts of justice under legal systems based on the Civil Law, including the majority of our fellow member States in the European community, such as Amestria or France.

India, for example, which is also a Common Law nation, like Xirnium, abolished jury trials in the sixties.

I continue to firmly stand by my original comments. Allanea’s illegal attempt to usurp the legislative function of the democratically elected government of Antanjyl and imperialistically impose its own distinct moral code was not done for the furtherance of civil liberties, but rather partisan ideologies. Just because the Allanean government believes that privatising the public transport system (a part of its radical laissez-fair economic policy which involves a complete absence of any regulation of the market) is necessary in the name of civil rights, does not mean that this view is shared by those in other sovereign nations.

It certainly does not mean that Allanea may legally trample on the inherent civil rights of the Antanjyl people to govern themselves, by forcing its views on them.’

‘The Savage factor also attempted to criticise your condemnation of Allanean attempts to forcibly impose the legalisation of their home-schooling system on the Antanjyl people,’ added the Daily Herald reporter.

‘I’m not about to enter into a trans-Atlantic debate over the merits or otherwise of home-school education,’ interrupted Dr Daentra, checking her watch again. She had to wrap things up quickly or risk being late for work. ‘Suffice it to say that there are opinions both for and against the practice. It’s a partisan political issue.

The current Allanean government has a large ultra-Conservative right-wing constituency that supports home-schooling. To appease this group, Allanea presumed the right to impose its ideology by illegally inflicting violence on another sovereign nation, which is absolutely reprehensible.

Now, if you don’t mind… I wouldn’t want to be late for work,’ explained Carolyne with an apologetic smile.

‘Yes, of course, Deputy Secretary. Thanks for your time.’

‘My pleasure,’ replied Dr Daentra, who shook the man’s hand and continued to walk to work.

_____________________________________________________________________________

OCC:

We don't, for example, have any problem with something like Battle Royale (which the MPAA refuses to even rate) being shown to 14-year-olds.
Although I must confess never having seen Battle Royale, I don't see why Xirniumites would have a problem with 14 year olds watching it. Anyway, I agree it's a different topic for a different thread.

IC: The renovated Allanean Arms-copied H2 tore into the Blue-Unicorn’s yard, spinning in place as the driver stood on the brakes. The vehicle was an open-top variant, with the roll bars bedecked with multi-colored stripes to the taste of the driver – in this case, a young lady with her head shaved bald and a variety of designs tattooed onto it.

She waved happily to the Amestrians: “Hellooooooooooooo there, buddies! I’m Chiana, your driver!”

The Amestrians glanced nervously at each other. “O-kay,” remarked Maria. They found the found the conduct of their driver far from reassuring, but no doubt they would have doubts about the competence of every Allanean motorist. The Amestrians made sure to fasten their seat belts.

Temple Street – as the name implies – is the street in Liberty-City where various congregations traditionally build their churches and temples – Evangelicals, Scientologists, Jews, Satanists, Slaaneshi, Catholics, Sirithilists, and so on ad infinitum had built their national headquarters here, each seeking to eclipse the others in sheer size and magnificence.

Chiana, of course, happily explained the purpose of the different buildings as she drove on.

The Amestrians nodded politely as they listened with mild disinterest. Jean occasionally jotted down a note.

A strange blue card was attached the windshield of the small vehicle from within. “That? That’s my driver certificate. Given by the insurance company – they get you to pass driving tests before they insure you… no, the government doesn’t license drivers. Not in this state, at least.”

“So you’re telling me that the Allanean government has no concern for the safety of its citizens?” Ms Auclert questioned, finding the complete lack of State regulation concerning the use of dangerous private transport totally absurd. She took out her notebook and prepared to write down Chiana’s response.

OOC: Don't really expect great knowledge of Allanean history from a low-level government official.I included only a basic explanation, therefore.

IC:

“Well,”- said Chiana, - “Clearly there are different ways of achieving that. Instead of having the government mount traffic cameras, keep track of everybody's cars, and register all the drivers – using the proceeds to fund, I suppose, public transport or something equally silly and evil – we just turned over the operation to private individuals. As result, it's cheaper for me to get licensed – and even though no cop will ever demand my license, it is good to have is anybody ever sues me, and I can't get ensured without one – and there is no centralized registry of either drivers or vehicles. Hell, if the government wanted my company's registry, they'll tell them to f*ck themselves and get a warrant – if they are lucky. A lawsuit would work, too.”

* * * * *

Lionel F. Morris tosses the journalists copies of the warrant – naturally, not the original. “Here. Charges of criminal incompetence and civil rights violations. Just so you know, being criminally incompetent is a crime under Federal law, applying to public official alone. Basically, if you're entrusted with office, and you screw up badly, expect to go to prison. Screw up bad enough to have people die by the million, expect to get executed – though so far we only did that only once, for a diplomat that endangered our relations with Menelmacar.”

The Allanean smiled. “Here's how we're going to do it. We're going to have you fellows parked across the street from the president's mansion. Keep two helicopters overhead, but otherwise keep most of the units out of sight...” He eyed the Amestrians. “Someone give those people a weapon or something.” As he saw their bewilderment, he explained: “No, I don't want you to participate. But, while clothing in public is not compulsory in Allanea, people may look at you weird if you don't have a gun. Socially naked citizens are not exactly an everyday occurrence here.”

“Well, anyway, to our point...”

* * * * * *

And so it happened that when the Amestrian and Xirnian reporters – along with two Allanean professional dressed in colorful robes and toting MP-7's along with their cameras – parked near the former President's house, there were almost no police to accompany them. Only two CREST officers approached the relatively modest suburban home in what appeared to be a modified desert buggy.

One remained behind, the other knocked on the door. A Hashi housemaid opened the door. There was some conversation between them as he displayed his bade and warrant. Then, she screamed and ran
inside, leaving the door open.

Klotchkovsky appeared, screaming and cursing. “Who exactly are you arresting? My son? What has he done this time? How come this is a CREST business?” As he waves his finger in front of the younger agent's face, the latter suddenly dropped his badge, latching on to the former Chief of Staff with an iron grip. He shoved the warant right in front of the President's face, while speaking as loudly and clearly as he could: “Mr. Klotchkovsky, you are under arrest on charges of criminal incompetence and violation of civil rights under color of law. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will be used against you in court. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided to you by the state. You have the right to jury trial.”

Amazingly, the President surrendered without struggle.

“Well,”- said Chiana, - “Clearly there are different ways of achieving that. Instead of having the government mount traffic cameras, keep track of everybody's cars, and register all the drivers – using the proceeds to fund, I suppose, public transport or something equally silly and evil – we just turned over the operation to private individuals. As result, it's cheaper for me to get licensed – and even though no cop will ever demand my license, it is good to have is anybody ever sues me, and I can't get ensured without one – and there is no centralized registry of either drivers or vehicles.

Ms Auclert wrote down every word. At the bottom edge of her notepad she jotted, The Allanean government does not care about the safety its citizens.

Maria decided to press further. Although she had long poked fun at Amestria’s nobility and governing class for their sense of Amestrian “Grandeur Culturelle,”* (in fact one of her more biting satirical articles in Le Canard Blessé had been titled “Wine Drinking Amestrian Aristocrats Just Plain Better then Everyone Else”) the Bourgeoisie was not about to let the taxi driver’s condescending remarks stand unchallenged.

“Why do you consider public transport ‘silly and evil?’ You are aware that public transport conserves resources, concentrates urban centers, fosters a sense of community, and is better for the environment? In Amestria all means of transport is publicly owned and publicly operated. I find your condemnation somewhat bizarre. In addition, does not the utter lack of licensing and regulation allow unfit divers upon Allanea’s roads? Are you saying that the safety of Allanea’s highways is considered second to profit?”

(OOC: Cultural Greatness)

* * * * *

He eyed the Amestrians. “Someone give those people a weapon or something.” As he saw their bewilderment, he explained: “No, I don't want you to participate. But, while clothing in public is not compulsory in Allanea, people may look at you weird if you don't have a gun. Socially naked citizens are not exactly an everyday occurrence here.”

Socially naked?! Maria and her companions shook their heads and refused to take the guns the officers attempted to hand to them.

“I’m sorry, but as Amestrian citizens we cannot legally carry guns. Illegal possession of a firearm on one’s person in our country is a very serious crime. We could get in trouble.”

Jane spoke up. “None of us consider ourselves naked officer,” she politely replied. “Nor are we concerned about looking ‘weird.’”

* * * * * *

Klotchkovsky appeared, screaming and cursing. “Who exactly are you arresting? My son? What has he done this time? How come this is a CREST business?” As he waves his finger in front of the younger agent's face, the latter suddenly dropped his badge, latching on to the former Chief of Staff with an iron grip. He shoved the warrant right in front of the President's face, while speaking as loudly and clearly as he could: “Mr. Klotchkovsky, you are under arrest on charges of criminal incompetence and violation of civil rights under color of law. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will be used against you in court. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided to you by the state. You have the right to jury trial.”

Amazingly, the President surrendered without struggle.

Just before the arrest Jean had taken out a tape recorder and switched it on. Everything that transpired would be on tape. Jane Avril’s camera clicked away, capturing the scene before them in its entirety.

“Mr. Klotchkovsky,” Maria loudly asked, “do you have anything to say concerning the charges brought forth by the Allanean Government or the accusations made by Foreign Minister de Villepin concerning the Allanean occupation of Antanjyl?”

“Just so you know, being criminally incompetent is a crime under Federal law, applying to public official alone. Basically, if you're entrusted with office, and you screw up badly, expect to go to prison. Screw up bad enough to have people die by the million, expect to get executed – though so far we only did that only once, for a diplomat that endangered our relations with Menelmacar.”‘I’m curious as to how exactly the Court determines whether a politician is guilty of being “criminally incompetent”, Mr Morris’ confessed Elizabeth offhandedly as she closely examined the photocopied arrest warrant.

‘How, precisely, must a politician “screw up” in order to be guilty of this criminal offence? You mentioned that a diplomat was executed for being responsible for the deterioration of political relations between Allanea and another sovereign nation?

Are the Allanean Courts given the power to examine questions of Government policy, and make judgements as to the value of it in determining whether a politician has been “criminally negligent”? If so, does this not raise concerns for the Separation of Powers?’ asked the reporter, pausing to brush some stray strands of her long brown hair out of the way.

“Someone give those people a weapon or something.”
‘Look at me, Elizabeth, I’m John Wayne,’ joked Witterby dryly as he accepted a holstered pistol from the Allaneans.

‘Don’t act like a fool,’ whispered Ms Amalia sternly, admonishing her colleague. Elizabeth reflected briefly at the shocking lack of common sense demonstrated by the Allanean government in allowing foreigners to carry unlicensed firearms inside a secure public building.

Witterby gingerly returned the firearm to a nearby desk.

Klotchkovsky appeared, screaming and cursing. “Who exactly are you arresting? My son? What has he done this time? How come this is a CREST business?” As he waves his finger in front of the younger agent's face, the latter suddenly dropped his badge, latching on to the former Chief of Staff with an iron grip. He shoved the warant right in front of the President's face, while speaking as loudly and clearly as he could: “Mr. Klotchkovsky, you are under arrest on charges of criminal incompetence and violation of civil rights under color of law. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will be used against you in court. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided to you by the state. You have the right to jury trial.”

Amazingly, the President surrendered without struggle.
‘You’re getting all of this, aren’t you?’ asked Elizabeth Amalia nervously, watching as the scene unfolded before them.

‘Certainly,’ replied the camera operator, looking intently through the viewfinder.

Michael Stirmeg rushed forward in order to question the disgraced former Head of State. ‘Mr Klotchkovsky, do you regret any of your decisions made during the Antanjyl occupation?’

“First of all,” -replied Chiana - “You're assuming we're going to run out of resources. I don't see any reason for that to happen. Isn't the main resource the human mind? Second, even a child knows that allowing a government control of public transport is allowing it control of population – a tool of social engineering if you like. Third, would anybody live in congested urban centers if the government didn't force them in there by means of social engineering? They have no privacy, no personality, they are violent, and horribly dangerous if any natural disasters happened. Ever been to Edolia? Their government makes it so that sometimes a hundred million people live on a small bit of land the size of a postal stamp, the poor buggers.”

“It's not about profit.” - she answered the second allegation - “It's about control. Would you want an unelected government official decide whether or not to put a bus stop next to your house? Geeze, I'd think not.”

* * * * *

The CREST agent smiled. “You are not in Amestria, my friends. This is a free country, and it's my job as director of the Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Team to ensurre that it remains so. I used to bust many a county sheriff and city legislator for making up silly laws like that back in the Hash days.”*

* * * * *

“I want my f*cking lawyer!” - the Allanean President growled as he was bodily dragged to the car. Behind her, the Amestrian reporter could feel the faint smell of cigar smoke.

It is Lionel Morris, the director of CREST. “You didn't expect him to say anything, did you? Nobody here is nuts enough to say anything until they get a lawyer, and quite right on that too. We can't squeeze them for info, so if they clam up like a bull's a$$, there's nothing we can do to get them to testify. At least not legally anyway.

I, however, am perfectly willing to answer your questions, Ms. Auclert. Perhaps over coffee?”


*Hash is a state of Allanea that is a formerly socialist/hippie nation we conquered at some point. Some of their attitudes remained backwards for a long period of time.

“First of all,” -replied Chiana - “You're assuming we're going to run out of resources. I don't see any reason for that to happen.”

“The very first thing one learns from studying economics is that resources are scarce. They must be allocated between competing needs efficiently. In addition many resources have a finite capacity…for instance, space, arable land, and fresh water are all resources that can be readily depleted but can only be recovered with great difficulty. What will happen when Allanea runs out of room?”

“Isn't the main resource the human mind?”

“So you believe that the march of technology will solve the problems posed by resource depletion and environmental breakdown and that conservation and regulation of any kind is unnecessary?”

“Second, even a child knows that allowing a government control of public transport is allowing it control of population – a tool of social engineering if you like.”

“And what is so wrong with that, public transport conserves resources, creates city centers…as opposed to endless exurban parking lots, and provides superior service.”

“Third, would anybody live in congested urban centers if the government didn't force them in there by means of social engineering? They have no privacy, no personality, they are violent, and horribly dangerous if any natural disasters happened.”

Ardenne, were I live, has been an urban center for well over a thousand years. It is a renowned cultural center, Amestria’s artistic capital, famous for such monuments as the Notre Dame de Ardenne cathedral and the Theater Jambon des Somnambules. I can say from personal experience that it has plenty of personality, privacy, and is an exceptionally safe place to live. Naerath, the capital of Xirnium, which I assume you have never visited, is also well over a thousand years in age, dating back well before Ancient Rome. The sense of history is extraordinary, if you were to look upon the Grand Basilica of Galatillion or the Notre Dame de Ardenne cathedral with proper appreciation it would take your breath away… Naerath is also very clean, private, and safe.”

Maria took pride in having traveled throughout Europe, visiting the continents primer cities. It gave one a sense of perspective and community. Ardenne, her home, had held a special place in her heart since she had first set eyes upon it at age nine. Maria’s second favorite city had been Naerath. She had been fortunate enough to visit the city right before the Amestrian and Xirniumite political classes decided to start hating one another.

“Ever been to Edolia? Their government makes it so that sometimes a hundred million people live on a small bit of land the size of a postal stamp, the poor buggers.”

“No I have not been to Edolia… Hasn’t Allanea fought several wars with that country?”

What with the world’s present innumerable armed conflicts, it was rather difficult to keep track of past human made disasters, unless ones nation had been directly affected by them.

“It's not about profit.” - she answered the second allegation - “It's about control. Would you want an unelected government official decide whether or not to put a bus stop next to your house? Geeze, I'd think not.”

“I have a bus stop in front of my apartment,” Maria commented dryly. “I’m rather glad one of my unelected government officials put it there, it saves me time going from home to work. Otherwise I would have to walk a block or two to the next stop.”


* * * * *


The CREST agent smiled. “You are not in Amestria, my friends. This is a free country, and it's my job as director of the Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Team to ensure that it remains so. I used to bust many a county sheriff and city legislator for making up silly laws like that back in the Hash days.”*

Did he just imply that Amestria is not a free country?! Maria eyes narrowed. “We are Amestrian citizens,” she said firmly with a great deal of finality, “we cannot and will not carry firearms.”


* * * * *


“I want my f*cking lawyer!” - the Allanean President growled as he was bodily dragged to the car. Behind her, the Amestrian reporter could feel the faint smell of cigar smoke.

It is Lionel Morris, the director of CREST. “You didn't expect him to say anything, did you? Nobody here is nuts enough to say anything until they get a lawyer, and quite right on that too. We can't squeeze them for info, so if they clam up like a bull's a$$, there's nothing we can do to get them to testify. At least not legally anyway.

Maria stopped herself from wrinkling her nose at the awful ashen smell. She hated the smell of cigars and cigarettes. “Well, I at least expected him to give a statement denying the charges and claiming innocence…”

“there's nothing we can do to get them to testify. At least not legally anyway…”

Maria momentarily reflected on the differences between the Allanean Common Law System and the Amestrian Inquisitorial System. In Amestria a suspect could not refuse a request for testimony made by the juge d'instruction* ‘in order to determine the truth.’

I, however, am perfectly willing to answer your questions, Ms. Auclert. Perhaps over coffee?”

“Sûr…” Maria nodded, “that would be fine.” Ms. Auclert then turned to Jean and Jane. “Envoyez les images et les enregistrement à Durand.**”

They both nodded. Maria then glanced around the suburbia that surrounded them before returning her attention to Morris. “Is there a coffee shop around here?”

(*OOC: Investigating Magistrate)

(**OOC: “Send the images and recording to Durand.”)

“So you believe that the march of technology will solve the problems posed by resource depletion and environmental breakdown and that conservation and regulation of any kind is unnecessary?”

"Why, this is precisely the case, lady." – Chiana chuckled. "Have you not heard that quote in Amestria? I believe it was the first Allanean President who said that… wait a minute, sister, lemme recall it. Ah, yes. There are no limits to growth, as there are no limits to the creative power of the human mind and of human liberty." – she smiled wistfully as if remembering April 19th, the first day of Allanea – a day which she could not have witnessed, since she was not born, but which was described in every Allanean schoolbook.

* * * *

It was on that day that the first Allaneans made their way onto the shore of that first Haven colony that would become the seed of an enormous nation –stretching from the shores of Roanoke Island, to the vast spreads of the Greater Prussian Bay, to the cold north of the Midlands, to Non-Earth England and to Progressive Hash. But then, there was nothing, only a small group of tattered refugees on a desert shore, leaning on their rifles – those who had them – and a large pile of paper a man-height tall and a slender boy with thick-framed glasses standing next to it on a steel ladder, giving a speech.

The papers were the texts of laws, regulations, rules from the nations that the refugees left – dozens of thousands of pages, books, bound and unbound – yet binding alike. The boy spoke – then lit a Zippo lighter, and finished his speech. These laws – they were a net of strings. Who cares that you need a license to mount an advertisement poster on your home? Who cares you must paint toys a specific color? After all, those are neither major nor oppressive. Who cares you need a license to own a gun if you're not a collector? Who cares…. A thousand things. Bind a person with a string, and he'll tear it apart. Bind him with a million strings and he suffocates. Thus did these rules suffocate us, our culture, our children and families. But there is one thing to do when you are bound by strings. Burn them. And this is what we'll do here.

The Zippo lighter flew into the pile.

May God Bless Allanea.

* * * *

"So," – spoke Chiana, "anyways. We went to war with Edolia, yes. Five times to be precise. Won the last two rounds, you must remember. As per city centers – what good are they, anyway? Libraries? I can get any book I like without getting up from my bed at home – physically traveling to a library is useless in the age of computers you know. Symphonies? Mahler, Brahms, Chopin in my living room in stereo and HDTV, and if I like, there's an orchestra in the college five minutes away. Somehow I think this little baby – she tapped the taxi's dashboard - I think this little baby can get there faster than a bus or anything like that."

* * * *

The Allanean chuckled at the Amestrian's comment. "Surely there is a coffee shop. "

It turns out to be a rather fine place, looking out to the sea, made out to look like the internals of a 19th century ship, the kind that Byron and his friends traveled when they heard the wise seaman's words - "There is rot in all the granaries of the Old world, and nothing will come of you until you're renewed and re-attached to the New." There was fine coffee and fine Stossel Tea. There were polite waiters in virgin white clothing, and the tables were made of redwoord and hours of skilled work.

"Well," smiled Morris, "What would you like to know?"

Done.

"Why, this is precisely the case, lady." – Chiana chuckled. "Have you not heard that quote in Amestria? I believe it was the first Allanean President who said that… wait a minute, sister, lemme recall it. Ah, yes. There are no limits to growth, as there are no limits to the creative power of the human mind and of human liberty." – she smiled wistfully as if remembering April 19th, the first day of Allanea – a day which she could not have witnessed, since she was not born, but which was described in every Allanean schoolbook.

“Nonsense and fantasy,” Maria softly replied.

"So," – spoke Chiana, "anyways. We went to war with Edolia, yes. Five times to be precise. Won the last two rounds, you must remember. As per city centers – what good are they, anyway? Libraries? I can get any book I like without getting up from my bed at home – physically traveling to a library is useless in the age of computers you know. Symphonies? Mahler, Brahms, Chopin in my living room in stereo and HDTV, and if I like, there's an orchestra in the college five minutes away. Somehow I think this little baby – she tapped the taxi's dashboard - I think this little baby can get there faster than a bus or anything like that."

The Amestrian did not answer; it would have been a waste of time.

* * * *

It turns out to be a rather fine place, looking out to the sea, made out to look like the internals of a 19th century ship, the kind that Byron and his friends traveled when they heard the wise seaman's words - "There is rot in all the granaries of the Old world, and nothing will come of you until you're renewed and re-attached to the New."

Ms. Auclert found the shop to be rather cramped and unpleasant. A 19th century ship was not, in her opinion, the ideal place to drink tea. The ocean view however was very nice and the Amestrian found herself looking out across it as they waited for their order.

There was fine coffee and fine Stossel Tea.

Maria took a sip of the Stossel tea she had ordered and held back a grimace. As an Amestrian she was used to better then fine.

"Well," smiled Morris, "What would you like to know?"

Ms. Auclert set her cup of tea back on the saucer.

“Tell me…”

Maria paused, taking out a pen, notepad, and tape recorder as she did so.

“May I record this conversation and take notes or is this off the record?”

The Allanean shrugged as he looked at the Amestrian. “I don't think you understand. If I wanted something to remain off the pages of the press, I wouldn't tell it to a reporter, on the record or off it. If I will not like a question, I will not answer. Reporters are all alike – no offense. Now, what would you like to know?”

(OOC: Allanea, do not forget to answer Xirnium's question using fluid time.)

Meanwhile…

As Morris and Auclert spoke Jane Avril and Jean Cocteau returned to their hotel rooms and downloaded their pictures/recording to their computer. They then emailed it to Le Canard Blessé Newspapers editorial division.

The Allanean shrugged as he looked at the Amestrian. “I don't think you understand. If I wanted something to remain off the pages of the press, I wouldn't tell it to a reporter, on the record or off it."

“By off the record I did not mean I would not report it, I meant your name would not be attached and I would not directly quote you, it would be anonymous.”

"If I will not like a question, I will not answer. Reporters are all alike – no offense."

Maria smiled sweetly. “None taken Mr. Morris.”

”Now, what would you like to know?”

Maria sipped her tea, holding back another grimace as she did so, and reflected upon how foreign the whole situation felt. A former head of state had just been arrested and everything seemed so casual, so calm. All the patrons were oblivious to what had just occurred… Of course, it had not been reported yet, but that was another thing, no one had expected this…

It’s so out of the blue.

There was no sense of tension, no media frenzy, no media blackout, no state of increased security, and no soldiers in the streets.

They arrested him as if he were no more then a common criminal.

Maria turned on the tape recorder.

“First, whose decision was it to arrest President Klotchkovsky and how many in the Allanean Government were aware that criminal charges were going to be made against him?”

OOC: I thought I made it clear, the President said nothing. As for the other questions..


IC:

"The general definition of criminal incompetence, as defined by the law, involves either causing "loss of life and liberty by innocents", or "massive damage to the national interest", for example loss of trade with key partners such as Menelmacar. As for separation of powers, filing of the charges is usually the business of the attorney general or the state attorney general based on complaints and general, although the Supreme Court of Allanea is also able to issue arrest warrants in the cases of certain ranking officials – like the President.

* * * *

Behind the CREST official, the television image began to change as an excited voice said. "In breaking news, bloggers from the northern Liberty City area report – and our men confirm – the arrest of the former President of the United States…."

Some of the patrons, probably Klotchkovsky supporters, raised their heads towards the screen, but otherwise it was calm. The Allanean in front of Maria smiled.

"It was issued by the Director of the Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Task Force – in other words, me. I have decided not to inform the current President of the decision until I had the warrant in hand – as I did not want the information to become widely known until I actually had the hands on the suspect. You understand of course the Mr. Klotchkovsky is a wealthy man… he could well have left the country."

Meanwhile in Amestria…

The information, pictures and recording of Klotchkovsky's arrest were distributed by the Le Canard Blessé to other newspapers and news agencies for a fee.

Behind the CREST official, the television image began to change as an excited voice said. "In breaking news, bloggers from the northern Liberty City area report – and our men confirm – the arrest of the former President of the United States…."

Some of the patrons, probably Klotchkovsky supporters, raised their heads towards the screen, but otherwise it was calm. The Allanean in front of Maria smiled.

“Well,” Maria remarked, “they seem to be taking it well.”

"It was issued by the Director of the Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Task Force – in other words, me.

“So the Allanean Justice Department played no role?”

“I have decided not to inform the current President of the decision until I had the warrant in hand…”

“Where you afraid that if you informed the President he would attempt to obstruct the arrest or alert Klotchkovsky and help him leave the country?”

“…as I did not want the information to become widely known until I actually had the hands on the suspect.”

After Morris had answered her second question Maria continued. “Besides your staff, who else was aware of your intent to arrest Klotchkovsky?”

“The Justice department... no, not really, except inasmuch as this is part of the Justice Department. As for other people... of course the order had to be signed by the Chief Justice of Allanea himself.”

He paused. “You must understand the politics in Allanea. It’s like a sport... you wait till noon when everybody truly grasps what I did, and every television station will be speaking about it. The four parties will be at each other’s necks, the incumbents will be stomping on the challengers and vice versa. If the President would have heard this... he, or someone in his administration, would have gone public with it.”

“The Justice department... no, not really, except inasmuch as this is part of the Justice Department.”

“So it’s fair to say you acted entirely on your own authority?”

“As for other people... of course the order had to be signed by the Chief Justice of Allanea himself.”

“Why did the order have to be signed by the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court rather then the Justice of a lower Federal Court? Was it because of Klotchkovsky's former position or was it due to the nature and severity of the charges?”

He paused. “You must understand the politics in Allanea. It’s like a sport... you wait till noon when everybody truly grasps what I did, and every television station will be speaking about it. The four parties will be at each other’s necks, the incumbents will be stomping on the challengers and vice versa. If the President would have heard this... he, or someone in his administration, would have gone public with it.”

“In your opinion, who stands to benefit and lose politically from Klotchkovsky's arrest? How do you expect President Atchinson and Secretary of State Arvin, who have both defended the Antanjylian occupation in the strongest terms, to react to Klotchkovsky's arrest?”

Maria took another sip of her tea.

“And how do you stand to benefit or lose…? By which I mean, if Klotchkovsky is convicted what will that mean for your career? Likewise, if he is found not guilty…?”

"So it's fair to say you acted entirely on your own authority?"



"Essentially, yes. As the Director of the Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Team, I am authorized to file such charges against high-ranking officials. However, in the case of the President, a direct arrest warrant has to be signed by the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court to avoid tampering with the procedure at that level."

"In your opinion, who stands to benefit and lose politically from Klotchkovsky's arrest? How do you expect President Atchinson and Secretary of State Arvin, who have both defended the Antanjylian occupation in the strongest terms, to react to Klotchkovsky's arrest?"



"In my opinion…. well, nobody is charging Mr. Klotchkovsky with the mere act of invading a foreign country. We're charging him with crimes he is suspected of having committed during the invasion and occupation. However, if crimes are proven to have been committed, and he himself guilty of those crimes, this could be a painful blow for the Republican Party. As for myself… this doesn't only depends on what the outcome of the trial is, you understand, but how it proceeds, as well."

"Essentially, yes. As the Director of the Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Team, I am authorized to file such charges against high-ranking officials."

“How much of a role did Minister de Villepin’s campaign of public condemnation directed against the Allanean occupation of Antanjyl play in bringing to your attention the possibility of criminal conduct by former President Klotchkovsky.”

“However, if crimes are proven to have been committed, and he himself guilty of those crimes, this could be a painful blow for the Republican Party.”

“I know the political elements of this whole matter will be scrutinized to death by TV pundits, talk show hosts, newspaper columnists, politicians, and bloggers, so over the next few days all I will have to do is sit back and watch. Still, I would appreciate getting more details concerning your own political perspective and character…”

The Amestrian briefly paused.

“What party do you belong to?”

“As for myself… this doesn't only depends on what the outcome of the trial is, you understand, but how it proceeds, as well."

Maria took another sip of her tea.

“Could you elaborate?”

Maria once again paused.

“Could you also describe how internally you came to your decision to file charges against Mr. Klotchkovsky…your thoughts, your emotions…?”

“How much of a role did Minister de Villepin’s campaign of public condemnation directed against the Allanean occupation of Antanjyl play in bringing to your attention the possibility of criminal conduct by former President Klotchkovsky.”

“To tell you the truth, very little. De Villepin is nothing but a post-modernist, pretentious hack at best, and given Amestria's conduct in Torontia, a potential CREST client himself. You understand, from my perspective the whole political and intellectual establishment in your country is so fucked up and rotten it probably glows mildly in the dark. You can quote me.”

“What party do you belong to?”

“I'm a Klotchkovsky appointee, so naturally a Republican. I in fact campaigned for Klotchkovsky in his first election campaign. It was only when I became aware of his operations in Antanjyl and the way they were covered by the media here, and especially his abandonment of the Democratic faction there, that I decided there was something wrong, and it had to be fixed. Again, don't let me wrong – I believe the invasion of Antanjyl was a good thing to do. If I were a Congressman, I'd have voted for it. I do believe it was fucked up, and fucked up in a criminal fashion.”


Could you elaborate?”

“Look. Imagine Klotchkovsky gets convicted, but gives a shining, brilliant speech from the witness stand that captures the opinion of the Allanean people and makes me look like a Kenneth Starr. Or maybe he uses a tabloid interview to slander me in some way. Or whatever.”

“To tell you the truth, very little.

“What about the public statements of condemnation issued by…”

Maria glanced at her notes to make sure she recited the name and title properly.

“…Dr Carolyne Daentra, Deputy Secretary of the Xirniumite Foreign Ministry of the Senior Executive?”

“De Villepin is nothing but a post-modernist, pretentious hack at best…”

And one of the most popular and well respected senior politicians in Amestria, not to mention an accomplished author, Maria thought quietly to herself.

…and given Amestria's conduct in Torontia, a potential CREST client himself.”

“Perhaps you’re not familiar with the details surrounding Amestria’s involvement in Torontia. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs had no role in the making or execution of Torontian occupation policy…not that it's relevant to the current subject of discussion.”

“You understand, from my perspective the whole political and intellectual establishment in your country is so fucked up and rotten it probably glows mildly in the dark.”

“You’re not the first to say that… Can you describe your perspective?”

“You can quote me.”

“Oh don’t worry, I will…”

Of course it only benefits you if you’re quoted denouncing our Minister of Foreign Affairs; it helps to insulate you from criticism.

“I'm a Klotchkovsky appointee, so naturally a Republican. I in fact campaigned for Klotchkovsky in his first election campaign.”

The irony…

“It was only when I became aware of his operations in Antanjyl and the way they were covered by the media here, and especially his abandonment …”

And bombing…

“…of the Democratic faction there, that I decided there was something wrong, and it had to be fixed.”

“So it’s fair to say that you acted out of moral outrage and a sense of injustice?”

“Again, don't let me wrong – I believe the invasion of Antanjyl was a good thing to do. If I were a Congressman, I'd have voted for it.”

“Contrary to the statements issued by your State Department no one is criticizing the multilateral intervention and subsequent removal of the genocidal Galf regime. All international criticism has concerned the actions of the United States during the occupation that followed the multilateral intervention.”

“Look. Imagine Klotchkovsky gets convicted, but gives a shining, brilliant speech from the witness stand that captures the opinion of the Allanean people and makes me look like a Kenneth Starr. Or maybe he uses a tabloid interview to slander me in some way. Or whatever.”

Maria smiled.

“I assume you mean Kenneth Starr, the special prosecutor of Old America, and not the defense attorney Kenneth Starr of the former nation of Allemande, who was infamously hired by the fascistic Islamist President Hassan Tarbani of the former nation of Algeristan to defend former President for Life Paul Kaufman of Torontia against charges that he ordered the murder of Allemande students attending the University of Seattle... Interesting fact, depending on where you are in the world, calling someone a Kenneth Starr can imply they are a runaway prosecutor or an unscrupulous defender of questionable people. Either way it is hardly a complement.”

Ms. Auclert realized she had gotten off track.

“Sorry, when you’re a journalist you pick up bits of information and if you’re not careful you can start rambling.”

She returned to the interview.

“Though this does raise the question of who will be prosecuting Mr. Klotchkovsky… In such high level Federal cases what is the normal procedure in regards to prosecution?”

“Perhaps you’re not familiar with the details surrounding Amestria’s involvement in Torontia. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs had no role in the making or execution of Torontian occupation policy…not that it's relevant to the current subject of discussion.”

"Wouldn’t you agree that at this high a level, I could argue he shares the responsibility – moral and possibly legal – with acts such as the Amestrian government has committed?"

“You’re not the first to say that… Can you describe your perspective?”

"There are two sides to the immorality of the Amestrian regime. One, its corruption by postmodernist pseudo-intellectualism, and the other, its statism. By creating a Marxian state monopoly on education (de-jure and de-facto), on protection, on self-defense, relegating justice to a group of closely-knit pseudointellectuals receiving government salaries, and so on, and so forth. You may want to read "The Statist Mindset." It's a book by the Michael Nords, the Congressman if you heard of him." It was unlikely the Amestrian ever heard of the Allanean history professor turned politician, but still…

“So it’s fair to say that you acted out of moral outrage and a sense of injustice?”

"Yes. Fair indeed. As for the prosecution, I believe it will be handled by the Attorney-General's office."

"Wouldn’t you agree that at this high a level, I could argue he shares the responsibility – moral and possibly legal – with acts such as the Amestrian government has committed?"

Maria was not going to get into a debate over Torontia.

“Mr. Morris, there has already been more then enough articles printed back home on the issue of Torontia and it is irrelevant to the current subject of discussion.”

Ms. Auclert paused briefly and then continued. “You also did not answer my question… The statements issued against the Allanean occupation of Antanjyl by Deputy Secretary Carolyne Daentra, how much of a role did they play in bringing to your attention the possibility of criminal conduct by former President Klotchkovsky?”

"There are two sides to the immorality of the Amestrian regime. One, its corruption by postmodernist pseudo-intellectualism…”

“Corruption by postmodernist pseudo-intellectualism... What does that even mean?”

“…and the other, its statism. By creating a Marxian state monopoly on education (de-jure and de-facto)…”

“We are rather proud of our State education system; it is one of the largest and most advanced in the world… Our citizens have also consistently been ranked to be amongst the worlds most educated by numerous international studies”

“You may want to read "The Statist Mindset." It's a book by the Michael Nords, the Congressman if you heard of him."

Maria shook her head. “No I have not heard of him or read any of his works… The Statist Mindset, that sounds very impartial.”

"Yes. Fair indeed. As for the prosecution, I believe it will be handled by the Attorney-General's office."

“Do you have any idea who in the Attorney-General's office?”

“To answer your question, the announcements made by any foreign government agents have not influenced my decision. If anything, the kind of venom they spit up would have moved me to reconsider my decision just to spite the atrocious buggers. I sincerely hope they get shot and killed. If there’s anybody in your nation or in Xirnium that has a gun stashed away, hopefully one day they’ll take it to de Villepin - or Daentra."

He paused for a second:
“I guess this would be illegal in your nation to publish, ma’am.”

]Corruption by postmodernist pseudo-intellectualism... What does that even mean?”
The Allanean smiled. “To a fish, explain “wet”.

“We are rather proud of our State education system; it is one of the largest and most advanced in the world…”
“Yes. I presume the Spartans were proud of theirs, too. As for ‘advanced’, that is rather subjective, don’t you think?”

”Our citizens have also consistently been ranked to be amongst the worlds most educated by numerous international studies”

“I put little trust in the United Nations and the studies it puts out. My child knows English and German, he reads Latin and Hebrew, and he’s familiar with Mises, Marx, Hegel and Locke. He can hit a man-sized rifle target at a hundred meters, standing with open sights, and he’s fifteen. He can do binomes and trinomes, and he has read Shakespeare, Kipling and Milton. I’m content at the work me and my wife did, and I could care less how much he ranks on some phoney chart made up by the United Nations. Thanks God Allanea is not a member.”

“Do you have any idea who in the Attorney-General's office?”

“Theoretically the Attorney-General himself, but I expect a battery of civil rights prosecutors to be appointed, that he’ll head as a figurehead of sorts.”

“To answer your question, the announcements made by any foreign government agents have not influenced my decision. If anything, the kind of venom they spit up would have moved me to reconsider my decision just to spite the atrocious buggers."

“So, you are saying that the timing of the arrest was all a mere coincidence? An arrest made shortly after the Amestrian and Xirniumite governments began their respective campaigns of public condemnation. An arrest your office invited the Le Canard Blessé and the Xirniumite Broadcasting Corporation to observe ahead of time… The information that then President Klotchkovsky gave military support to the advances of the Loyalist faction, a faction led by Galf’s chosen successor, and ordered the systematic bombing of the Democratic faction (among others) was public knowledge, extensively reported and debated by the Allanean media... Why now? Why has it taken so long?”

“I guess this would be illegal in your nation to publish, ma’am.”

“No it wouldn’t,” the reporter stated simply.

The Allanean smiled. “To a fish, explain “wet”.

Auclert frowned, visibly annoyed by the metaphor. “You can’t really explain anything to a fish, although hypothetically, if fish were capable of conscious communication with humans one would simply need to remove them from the water and explain dry, how it is the opposite of wet.”

The reporter sighed.

“Why don’t you just tell me about Congressman Michael Nords and his book.”

“Theoretically the Attorney-General himself, but I expect a battery of civil rights prosecutors to be appointed, that he’ll head as a figurehead of sorts.”

“What role do you expect to play in the trial?”

Why now? Why has it taken so long?

The Allanean shrugged. "Sometimes, things take more then they need to. Such is the way of things in any government bureaucracy – as you, an Amestrian citizen, ought to know."

He smiled giddily.

if fish were capable of conscious communication with humans one would simply need to remove them from the water and explain dry, how it is the opposite of wet.”

"Now this, mademoiselle, is what we in redneck, unwashed Allanea call pointless sophistry. You know full well the point of the methaphor – it implies the inability of people to recognize the concepts that they encounter daily. For instance, few journalists in the mainstream media recognize that their outlets are biased – they regard the slanting of the articles as mere 'common sense center', and the denying of airtime to "extremist" opinions as merely 'not letting the wingnuts have the soapbox.'. Analyzing the biology of fish has – frankly – little bearing on the subject."

“Why don’t you just tell me about Congressman Michael Nords and his book.”

"I would argue Nords is one of the greatest man in modern Allanea – even though he's not a Republican." – he smiled disarmingly. – "I mean, observe. He has started his career by protesting against the expansion of Federal schooling budget, reminding the nation of the moral corruption of ancient Sparta and of the Bismark era Germans. He has achieved, within the first five months in office, the reversal of Federal education policies and repeal of the Federal Test Standard Act. If you know about Congress, you probably understand what a feat getting anything done that fast is."

"As for the book, well suffice to say "The Statist (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statism) Mindset" is an exploration on the ideas that cause people in supposedly 'westernized' democracies to push for ever-increased government role in their lives – to give up education, transportation, the issue of currency, the bearing of arms, health care, electricity, and so forth to be a government monopoly – and allowing the government to tax and regulate what is not banned or monopolized by it."

“What role do you expect to play in the trial?”

"In theory, I am empowered to act as a prosecutor myself in high-profile civil rights cases. However it's long-standing custom for CREST officials to be instead supplanted by proper lawyers, so I'll probably merely testify."

The Allanean shrugged. "Sometimes, things take more then they need to. Such is the way of things in any government bureaucracy – as you, an Amestrian citizen, ought to know."

“You’re saying that the timing of the arrest is just a coincidence, solely the result of the Allanean governments exceptional, and from what you describe, chronic inefficiency?”

"Now this, mademoiselle, is what we in redneck, unwashed Allanea call pointless sophistry.

“You know full well the point of the methaphor–”

“Yes, and it is a very poor metaphor, a very English metaphor.”

“Analyzing the biology of fish has – frankly – little bearing on the subject."

Maria finished her tea and poured herself another cup.

“I disagree, you asked a question and I answered. You are taking what I said too literally.”

"I would argue Nords is one of the greatest man in modern Allanea–

“What was his occupation before entering politics?”

“– even though he's not a Republican."

“What party does he belong to?”

"I mean, observe. He has started his career by protesting against the expansion of Federal schooling budget, reminding the nation of the moral corruption of ancient Sparta and of the Bismark era Germans. He has achieved, within the first five months in office, the reversal of Federal education policies and repeal of the Federal Test Standard Act. If you know about Congress, you probably understand what a feat getting anything done that fast is."

Although Maria smiled she was most decidedly unimpressed.

"As for the book, well suffice to say "The Statist (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statism) Mindset" is an exploration on the ideas that cause people in supposedly 'westernized' democracies to push for ever-increased government role in their lives – to give up education, transportation, the issue of currency, the bearing of arms, health care, electricity, and so forth to be a government monopoly – and allowing the government to tax and regulate what is not banned or monopolized by it."

“Sounds like its fixated upon the 20th century and rather New World centric, how does Mr. Nords’…ideas apply to Old World nations with long complex histories of development, such as Amestria? A nation where there has never been a recognized right to bare arms, where power to issue currency has always been held solely by sovereign institutions (dating back to the Ancien Régime), where markets have always been regulated (by feudalism or the King, and later by the State), and where rights alien to Allaneans are granted, such as the right of certain segments of the population to engage in collective bargaining, a granted right dating back to the Bradlian Code…”

"In theory, I am empowered to act as a prosecutor myself in high-profile civil rights cases. However it's long-standing custom for CREST officials to be instead supplanted by proper lawyers, so I'll probably merely testify."

Maria jotted down a note and then glanced briefly at the television to see if anything had changed.

“You’re saying that the timing of the arrest is just a coincidence, solely the result of the Allanean governments exceptional, and from what you describe, chronic inefficiency?”

"Chronic inefficiency is the sign of all government institutions, and in fact of all institutions based on coercion – look at any militarist organization. The only way to have less government inefficiency is to have less government. But as to your question, yes, it is a coincidence."

“What was his occupation before entering politics?”

"Professor at the Liberty University."

A quick inquiry would find out that Liberty University was located in Allanean Virginia in the Non-Earth area, and that it originally was founded by members of what Amestrians would term 'radical Christian movements', but then, with the Allanean annexation of the area, developed into a rather good university, one of the best in Allanea.

“What party does he belong to?”

"Democrat as far as I know, pisses off his party leadership five times a day – which in my mind is what proper parliamentarian should do."

A nation where there has never been a recognized right to bare arms, where power to issue currency has always been held solely by sovereign institutions (dating back to the Ancien Régime), where markets have always been regulated (by feudalism or the King, and later by the State), and where rights alien to Allaneans are granted, such as the right of certain segments of the population to engage in collective bargaining,

"The book has a whole chapter dedicated to the Amestrian statist mindset. I would like to point out Allanea has recognized the right to collective bargaining – and lockouts, as well. I believe the case which is relevant to the matter is Steelworkers Union vs. State of Daikatana, but I could be wrong. But let us cast aside your complete illiteracy in matters pertaining to Allanea's culture, or to modern political science. I understand you're arguing that the Amestrians never had any kind of freedom from the state, so they can't know better. This is indeed a novel defense of big government."

From the television, some new noise was heard.

… and this is Linda Mathers with breaking news. It appears that the former President of the United States, that's President Atchinson, has been arrested by CREST on criminal incompetence and violation of civil rights charges. It is our belief that the arrest will lead to further persecution by CREST of the Republican leadership…

The Director of the Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Taskforce began to laugh.

"Chronic inefficiency is the sign of all government institutions, and in fact of all institutions based on coercion – look at any militarist organization. The only way to have less government inefficiency is to have less government.”

‘Perhaps the chronic inefficiency of your government is the result of the contempt Allanean culture and society has for the very idea of government, governing, and civil service. Perhaps it has something to do with apathy; the idea that government is always inefficient and nothing can be done about it except to support its dismantlement.”

Maria took a sip of her tea.

“I may dislike the Government in Central City for a variety of reasons but I would not describe my State as being chronically inefficient, in fact I would describe it as being quite efficient.”

“But as to your question, yes, it is a coincidence."

“A rather inconvenient coincidence...” Ms. Auclert remarked.

I don’t believe you…

"Democrat as far as I know, pisses off his party leadership five times a day…"

Yes, probably because the Party leadership can’t expel him.

"The book has a whole chapter dedicated to the Amestrian statist mindset.”

“And what does that chapter say?”

Like I need to ask…

“I would like to point out Allanea has recognized the right to collective bargaining – and lockouts, as well. I believe the case which is relevant to the matter is Steelworkers Union vs. State of Daikatana, but I could be wrong.”

“Forgive me if I am not completely familiar with all the elements Allanean labor law.”

“But let us cast aside your complete illiteracy in matters pertaining to Allanea's culture, or to modern political science.”

Maria decided to ignore the insult; worse things had been said to her.

“I understand you're arguing that the Amestrians never had any kind of freedom from the state, so they can't know better. This is indeed a novel defense of big government."

The Amestrian rolled her eyes.

“No, I was merely pointing out Amestria’s unique historical development and how it gave rise to a culture that really does not fit in with Mr. Nords’ ideological conception of how things are and how things should be.”

From the television, some new noise was heard.

… and this is Linda Mathers with breaking news. It appears that the former President of the United States, that's President Atchinson, has been arrested by CREST on criminal incompetence and violation of civil rights charges. It is our belief that the arrest will lead to further persecution by CREST of the Republican leadership…

Alarmist and paranoid aren’t they…

“The Director of the Civil Rights Enforcement and Soliciting Taskforce began to laugh.

Maria decided to lighten the tension by being funny. Her voice took on a mock serious tone, a smile on her face (an insincere smile, but she was good at those).

“I am here with the director of CREST, Lionel Morris; Mr. Morris is this arrest the first step in the persecution of the Republican leadership by your agency?”

After he had answered the question Maria motioned with her hand towards the women on the screen. “Who is that women?”

"Perhaps it has something to do with apathy; the idea that government is always inefficient and nothing can be done about it except to support its dismantlement.”
The Allanean smiled. "It worked with the buses, the trains, the airlines, the currency itself. It even worked with education. As far as I am concerned, the government should be tossed the hell out of anything that can be provided by the cooperation of free individuals – that's almost anything. You know. The Night Watchman State. "


“And what does that chapter say?”

"I have to admit I have not read it in much detail. Essentially, the author engages in an analysis of mainstream Amestrian political writing and art and draws a rather convincing portrait of the Amestrian intellectual as an aloof, elitist, statist character. In essence, I understand that your intellectuals have basically become a new nobility, ruling by opinion rather the by dicta along with the offspring of the old one.:"


“No, I was merely pointing out Amestria’s unique historical development and how it gave rise to a culture that really does not fit in with Mr. Nords’ ideological conception of how things are and how things should be.”
"We already know that Amestria is nothing related to how things should be. That's not much new."
“I am here with the director of CREST, Lionel Morris; Mr. Morris is this arrest the first step in the persecution of the Republican leadership by your agency?”

The Director laughed. "Hahahaha, that's great. Of course! We're going to get persecutey on your ass!" - he waved his finger in a mock menace.

“Who is that women?”

"That's some newscaster for ScaifeNews, I believe."

The Allanean smiled. "It worked with the buses, the trains, the airlines, the currency itself. It even worked with education. As far as I am concerned, the government should be tossed the hell out of anything that can be provided by the cooperation of free individuals – that's almost anything."

“Yes, I’m sure not requiring licenses for the operation of vehicles and allowing guns in schools eliminates a lot of inefficiency, red tape, and children.”

“You know. The Night Watchman State.”

Maria added some cream to her tea and stirred it with a spoon.

“Many in Amestria prefer the concept of the Maternal State.”

The Amestrian then took a sip her tea, tasting it.

“Although among the political class there are many differences of opinion over what constitutes that philosophical and legal concept, as well as how to apply it by the State structure. The views espoused by the Bradlian Centralist Party tend to differ significantly from those held by the Republican People's Party…”

Maria took another sip of her tea.

“Although a Libertarian Allanean could probably not distinguish between the two...”

"I have to admit I have not read it in much detail. Essentially, the author engages in an analysis of mainstream Amestrian political writing and art and draws a rather convincing portrait of the Amestrian intellectual as an aloof, elitist, statist character. In essence, I understand that your intellectuals have basically become a new nobility, ruling by opinion rather the by dicta along with the offspring of the old one."

“One has to be careful using the term “nobility” when referring to Amestrian social classes, legally Nobles are individuals granted title, estate, and certain privileges by the Sovereign, such as the right to carry swords, the right to use coat of arms signet ring, and the right to hunt for game on the Kings land. There are two different types of nobility; those whose title, estate, and privileges pass on to their children or families upon their death, and those whose title, estate, and privileges end upon the death of the individual and return to the Sovereign. Parliament retains the power to bestow family or individual noble status as a reward for service to the country or the Sovereign. For example, it is traditional for President’s who are not of the aristocracy to be granted an individual (not to be confused with family) title and estate upon their stepping down from office. I hear the current President, Boon, will receive Dreux.”

"We already know that Amestria is nothing related to how things should be. That's not much new."

“Oh, is that because we don’t buy into your philosophy that individuality is great and everyone should be doing it all the time together? Prey tell how does one determine how things should be?”

The Director laughed. "Hahahaha, that's great. Of course! We're going to get persecutey on your ass!" - he waved his finger in a mock menace.

Maria smiled, faking amusement at the director’s antics.

"That's some newscaster for ScaifeNews, I believe."

“Oh, I thought she may have been a significant political commentator rather then your standard newsperson…”

The Amestrian took her watch out of her pocket and glanced at it.

“So little time has passed, so little information has been released, and already on the television there is such wild speculation… Has your agency done anything in the past to warrant such immediate conspiracy minded suspicion, any recent controversial actions I would be unaware of, or is what Ms. Mathers just said considered normal?”

“Although a Libertarian Allanean could probably not distinguish between the two...”

“Oh I am sure there's very little difference from your perch between the Republicans, the Democrats, and the Libertarians as well... I don't really think political parties matter much, especially not in a so-called consensus democracy. Once the differences have been settled on the fundamental question – and the fundamental question is, “what is the role of the State in society?” - then all you are doing is just fiddling about with the controls, adjusting a tax there and a regulation here, but the basic relationship between the citizen and the State, the individual and the community, that is not allowed to change. That is the nature of consensus democracy: "Do as much as you like, just don't change the rules." Only fiddling with the controls is allowed then, not changing a car."


“Oh, is that because we don’t buy into your philosophy that individuality is great and everyone should be doing it all the time together? “

“Yes, this is essentially so. Your nation giving up the noble ideals of individual, natural, God-given rights is exactly what makes it immoral, you're precisely correct.”


Has your agency done anything in the past to warrant such immediate conspiracy minded suspicion, any recent controversial actions I would be unaware of, or is what Ms. Mathers just said considered normal?”

He shrugged. “No, I don't believe we did anything to warrant that. Admittedly, I expected some venom from Ms. Mathers' program – I don't really believe that such a beast as unbiased television really exists, or should - but, mm, not at this level.”

“Oh I am sure there's very little difference from your perch between the Republicans, the Democrats, and the Libertarians as well... I don't really think political parties matter much, especially not in a so-called consensus democracy.”

“Parties are the mechanism through which people in modern societies express, reconcile, and institutionalize their moral and political values. There is no democracy without politics and no politics without parties.”

“Once the differences have been settled on the fundamental question – and the fundamental question is, “what is the role of the State in society?” - then all you are doing is just fiddling about with the controls, adjusting a tax there and a regulation here, but the basic relationship between the citizen and the State, the individual and the community, that is not allowed to change. That is the nature of consensus democracy: "Do as much as you like, just don't change the rules." Only fiddling with the controls is allowed then, not changing a car."

“So you don’t care for Consensus, as in Parliamentary, Democracy… What manner of system do you favor?”

“Yes, this is essentially so. Your nation giving up the noble ideals of individual, natural, God-given rights is exactly what makes it immoral, you're precisely correct.”

No sense of irony.

Maria finished her tea.

He shrugged. “No, I don't believe we did anything to warrant that. Admittedly, I expected some venom from Ms. Mathers' program – I don't really believe that such a beast as unbiased television really exists, or should - but, mm, not at this level.”

“I am fairly unfamiliar with Ms. Mathers’ program…and Allanean media in general. I tried to familiarize myself with your television at the hotel and found it very…weird. What can you tell me about Ms Mathers and her…show…?”

There is no democracy without politics and no politics without parties.

“Observe, then. In proportional representation, the party leadership establishes the platform of the party, and then chooses, by some method, a list of candidates who agree to conform more or less to this platform. If the party wins, say, ten seats, then the first ten candidates on the list are elected. The voter, usually unfamiliar with everybody except the first say three candidates, is not voting for the candidates, but for the party platform and it's leadership – while it's the actual candidates who are going to be doing the voting. Often they could even end up divided and voting against each other in the legislature, or against the wishes of the voter.”

“In Allanea, though, the person running in a given electoral district is chosen as candidate by his party's primaries in that district – that is, with little participation of the National Comitte. Then, the electorate is free to familiarize itself with any information it requires to make a choice – the particular candidate's platform, his record, and so forth. In this way, every candidate undergoes scrutiny, with each candidate's supporters doing their level best to find out the worst about the competitors. Also, this candidate could be someone the party leadership entirely disagrees with – just as long as he represents the people. Think of Ron Paul in Old America”

“So you don’t care for Consensus, as in Parliamentary, Democracy”

“A consensus democracy is one where, for example, any rapid changes in the status quo are impossible. 'Compromise' is glorified, and 'extremism' is denigrated, for no apparent reason but being extreme. As such, the politicians are encouraged to do nothing but sit on their behind and never enact any changes of principle. As suich, this preserves the current 'aristocracy', whoever they may be, and keeps them in powerr.'

What can you tell me about Ms Mathers and her…show…?

“She's a newscaster... one famous for her acidic comments and dislike of the Republican administration. Think some Old American leftist blog during the Bush days, and you'll get the drift.”

Then Morrison glanced nervously at his watch. IT was probably time for him to leave.