NationStates Jolt Archive

Riots in Orion Ascendant

After the publishing of a cartoon depicting a white space,atheists of the Church of No Belief and the atheist cult Church of the Unbelievers stormed the Orion Times Press Holdings building,demanding that the editor be executed for his insult to their belief system.

Rioters bore placards that read "Kill the Relgionists","Kill the Believers", "God is Dead" and "Kill the Infidels who Believe in Religion".The High Priest of the Atheist Church,Aron Chan,stated in his address to his congregation:"These infidels have dared to insult our most holy belief system,the only true belief system,that there IS no GOD!Kill them,Kill them ALL!Death to all the Believers!"

In response,a joint mob of Jews,Hindus,Bhai'ists,Zoroastrians,Muslims and Fundamentalist Christians stormed several organisations believed to be supporting the atheist and humanist groups,including a charity organisation.Several animists and spirit worshipers joined in the fray,while Satanists cavorted around and tried to gain atheist converts to their religion,but were stoned to death by all side,the atheists for their belief in Satan and by the Christians and Muslims for their worship of Satan.


However,events only worsened as Buddhist terrorists driving a tank bearing symbols of the Buddha along with Shinto and Communist allied stormed the Grand Mosque,mistakenly believing that they were helping the Muslims quell an atheist mob from attacking it.

At the same time,agnostics took the opportunity to mount counter demonstrations against both sides,telling the religionists and atheists that both sides were wrong and that all would be damned unless they followed the path of the agnostic.A spokesman for the Temple of the Unrepentant Agnostic called for calm,stating that;"All of them are idiots,the only way to know anything is if you die or if God(s) or entities referred heretofore as deitie(s) actually shows up to present claims of their existence.Since we don't know,lets just get drunk and have lots of sex!Besides,the only true path is agnosticism and science."

This earned a barrage of insults from Imam Samudra,Mufti of the Charden district,who called on his followers to 'crush the unrepentant hypocrites,the agnostics and atheists and Jews and imperialist communist pigs beneath the feet' and to join their Chritian brothers in the 'joyful slaughter of the innocent lambs that await the sacrificing of their lives upon the altar of discontent'.

Continued updates have added that mobs of Catholics have joined the fray,lead by defrocked priests intent on sodomy of the atheists for their crimes,while BDSM exponents crowded the streets,hailing the chaos as a new day for the pracice of sadomasochism.

On the main streets,joint mobs stretching for kilometres consisting of Hindus,Muslims,Buddhists,atheists,agnostics,Christians and animists as well as Taoists fired guns into the air,calling for a referendum to decide on the existence of god(s) and the overthrow of the government.

The military and police forces have been calleed in to restore order and a general curfew is in effect.
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In other news,its was reported that pigs with wings were sighted on an air force range,flying at low altitude,with bombs strapped to their bodies.

The air force base involved has reported that the air force is interested in selling roast pork to the local community,having 'gained a windfall of piggers'.The roast pork have appendages that look suspiciously like friend wings.They dismissed rumours of genetic experiments with flying pigs,merely stating that they were testing a new biological weapons system,for accurate and safe delivery of munitions.

OOC: I sooo want to live in your country. Sounds like a riot! Um... literally...

OOC: Interesting scenario, very interesting --- tag for interest

ooc: Well, its... different... :p

OOC: It's a very... unique... spin on real life events...

Escalation of Violence

In local news today,a Sikh contingent of rioters armed with AK-47s and air rifles stormed the "Church of the Most Unrepentant Atheist Rationalist Maoist Communist",while riot police stood at the side,unwilling to stop the heavily armed mob.More military personnel have been activated,with roadblocks on all highways into the city and checkpoints at key industrial and commercial areas of the suburbs.

The Religious riots have spiraled out of control,with executions and counter-executions of key members of the clegry of each temple,Irish Catholics having offered their 'experience in insurgency executoion' gained during their time in North Ireland to all willing parties.

In an unlikely scene,Hindus,Jews,Christians,Muslims and Buddhists forged a united front against the Sikhs,Atheists,Communists and Agnotstics,the animists having lost interest in the riots and going back to the deep jungle and desert provinces they hail from.

A spokesperson for the Coalition of Willing Religions,CWR,stated:"The violence has gone on long enough,and now even the military is being called in to handle the situation.We urge a swift resolution to the entire issue and ask for the atheists to please stop rioting.It was only a damn cartoon anyway.You don't see us getting frothing mad at the face when you insult our religion,do you?".It was at this point that the Christian spokesperson coughed pointedly while looking at the Muslim Umma,who maintained an innocent expression on his face throughout.

Meanwhile,the local vegetable industry and meat industry is booming,as the different groups have boycotted each others products,seeing them as 'unclean food fit only for believers/infidels/unbelievers' in comments issued by both sides.Muslims have taken to a vegetarian diet and stopped eating beef to oppose their Hindu allies,while pork consumption among the atheists and communists has increased,to spite the religionists.The Sikhs,as always,are caught in the middle and a surprising number have resolved this problem by creating the new religion of Sikudism or Sikh-Buddhist,whose doctrined involve the definition of all meat-eating individuals as infidels while at the same time expounding the benefits of a protein-rich diet and the wonders of an omnivorous diet,directly contradicting itself.This schism has drawn the Sikhs closer to other religionists.

Similarly,due to the opposing doctrines,the stock of seafood companies listed on the stock exchange rose to new highs,as seafood has become about the only commonly agreed food product shared by both sides,leading to a shortage of labour in the seafood industry.This has encouraged a wave of immigration into the country by residents of South Asian,East Asian,Slavic,Scandinavian and South African origins,all eager to work in the booming food industries,resulting in a boiling pot where the relevance of inter-faith dialogue has increased and conflict between religions seeming rather pointless,due to the inter-marraige among faiths and ethnic groups.