NationStates Jolt Archive

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Live Broadcast

"Hello, everyone, this is Walter Krankheit of RBNNN, the most trusted name in government-approved news. Today, the editor of a daily newspaper was found guilty of violating Section 1A of the Suppression of Communism, Subversion, and Terrorism Act which stipulates that anyone 'who intentionally or unintentionally, directly or indirectly, brings about interreligious tension, or may potentially offend religious sensitivies and usher forth instability or public disorder, is to be tried in a court of law, and if found guilty, the proscribed punishment is death by disembowelment.' A senior government official denounced the editor for 'showing callous indifference to Muslims and potentially instigating interreligious hostility which could make the climate fertile for communist subversion' by showing the controversial Danish cartoon that has outraged Muslims around the world. The editor, who shall remain unnamed due to his fear of reprisals against his family, was found guilty by a jury of 12, with 9 voting guilty and 3 voting not-guilty. After his public execution, another official was quoted as saying, 'An enemy of this nation is now scorching in Hell. For contributing to the spread of communism, justice has been meted out.'"

UNFOUNDED ALLIANCE REACTION TO MOHAMMED CARTOONS:

"I don't get it."

During Alliance newspaper efforts to cover and explain the controversy shrouding the Danish cartoons that have caused such a recent uproar, reprints of the offending cartoons were printed to demonstrate what the controversy involved.

Reaction to the appearance of the satirical cartoons was overwhelming.

At one unfortunate newspaper, a line half a kilometer in length, made up entirely of confused subscribers, filed ever so slowly into the main offices, asking what the joke was. The primary discussion amongst those confused readers was the surprisingly violent reaction to the cartoons, along with the seeming hypocrisy that stemmed from being offended at cartoons that linked the Prophet Mohammed to Violence and Terrorism yet their own reaction effectively proving the comics correct.

Crowds were dispersed with promises that further elaboration on the comics would be offered in the next day's paper.

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Dude Disemboweled for Displaying Disputed Drawings!

More information later. They must have been on crack.

*bump*

-Unknown location-
"Another day another crime by Roach-Busters." Verta said. "Oh how I hate those cocky sons of Bitches." He looked over tactical maps of the Lone Alliance. "Message for you sir." An Intellegence officer said walking up. "Give it here." Verta said taking it and looking it over. His expression quickly changed. "Prepare for a news Conference, and give a little greeting to those mad men.



#Unknown Transmission to Roach-Busters # SYSTEM SIGNAL BOUNCED, UNKNOWN LOCATION, SIGNAL DEAD#
We know the truth of your plans, soon everyone will!
-Unknown

Yurka Paranormal Press
By: Jack Sombra


Roach-Buster's Executes Last Surviving Martian!

Earlier this week, the last surviving Martian was killed by Roach-Buster's government after showing a Danish comic relating to some religion known as "Islam". Obviously, this was only a cover for their true genocidal plans of wiping out the last Martian, hiding what has earlier been called, "The All-Purpose Cure". Why they did this, I personally cannot say, but it seems as if the nation of Roach-Busters may actually be related to Crop Circles. The evidence is clear... [Continued on Page A9]


------Other Stories------
Ato-Saran Mutants Unleashed on Yurka City II! A-2
Teenage Girl sucked into Mirror! A-2
Relorian Matriarch Kills Twelve in Blood Feast A-4

"I laugh at the abysmal newspaper coverage this story has received abroad as well as the empty threats issued by the Marxist cesspool The Lone Alliance. I have better things to do than listen to this blather."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

http://www.lanacion.cl/p4_lanacion/site/artic/20040707/imag/FOTO17120040707205256.jpg
Albert Bronstein (editor-in-chief of Roachen Times) was executed in Roach-Busters today. KPD-CPSU (German Communist Party, subsidiary of the CPSU) expected to hold honors in his name later this month.

Communist International member executed in Roach-Busters

By Nikolai Dresky, Moscow

Earlier today, thanks to the oh-so-adequate Roach-Busterian judicial system, Albert Bronstein - a former member of the KPD - was executed for re-posting the offensive Danish cartoons that have caused riots and protests around the world. These cartoons and drawings depict Mohammed wearing a turban in the shape of a cliche` explosive and other things considered offensive by Muslims.

While causing riots around the world, no such theological subversion has yet to occur within the Soviet Union. Some state this is due to the enlightenment of the masses; while critics say this is due to the brutal suppression of religion via the Theological Ruination Act.

Generalissimo Troskin stated:

”These drawings are actually quite funny. Me and Farik chuckled as we watched them. Gen. Sect. Pacitania fell out f his chair upon seeing them. We believe they’re simply all in good fun and that this violence is caused by the brutal nature of religion as a whole.

“On a more series note, the execution of a comrade is not something the Presidium will likely forget soon. The Politburo has already put Roach-Busterian actions before several special, executive action committees. All seem to think that the brutal regime of Kaiser J.L. needs to be forced from power and the dictator held before an international tribunal for sentancing.”

Shoot the fascists

Some radical members of the Political Bureau (Including Cmsr. Seagrove and Cmsr. Bovsky) state that “we should invade the shit hole and shoot any Absolute Capitalists - citizen or military - that get in our way.” Yet, due partially to Troskin and Pacitania’s cool nature, war has not yet occured.

Military hardliners within the Troskin regime believe that war is only a matter of time and that another cold war will possibly form before the end of the year. With the escalation of military buildup within the Soviet Union, weaponry stockpiling, and newly active Revolutionary Armed Forces Abroad cells, they are probably correct.

Any use in saving relations

Most believe that what little strain of diplomacy between the Soviet Union and Roach-Busters are rapidly degrading and failing. Most of the population believe likewise, but do not believe that an active conflict will occur anytime soon.


Exert from Novy Mir (New World).

The Generalissimo had obtained a copy of the long-banned publication New World (a magazine considered so subversive that owning a copy was punishable by scaphism) via his boys at B.A.D.G.E. He read the article quickly, basically skimming it, as it was dreary, dull, and nauseating. More Marxist propaganda, he thought, rolling his eyes. Maybe I should write to these bastards.

"Dear Editor,

I had the (dis)pleasure of recently reading that rancid filth you call a newspaper, specifically the smear article you wrote about me. I was appalled, outraged, disgusted, and infuriated by this libelous, subversive, shoddily written piece of filth, which as of now is roasting in my fireplace. It was the most God-awful piece of garbage I have ever read, even worse than Das Kapital. As for 'relations' between RB and the USSR, I really couldn't give less of a shit. You all can go take a flying fuck at the moon for all I care. In the meantime, I kindly ask that you refrain from publishing future propaganda about me. We are not a Second World, but First World, nation, not a roach-infested garbage heap like yours. Good day."

Insincerely,
Generalissimo J.L. the Great

Official Government Statement

The Federation congratulates Roach Busters on their successful rout of this blatant act of inciting rebellious tendencies. We encoruage other nations slandering this act to see how it prevented the potential outbreak of dissent amongst some members of society from such ideals of insurrection.

-Federation Foreign Affairs Ministry

"We appreciate the support from our great allies in AB."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

Nikolai Dresky (editor-in-chief of New World) sat reading the small letter, noting vile use of vulgarities is several sentences. He smirked, tossing the small piece of parchment in his fire before his oaken desk. He shook his head lazily, turning to his computer:


[-]JL.doc
[-]JLinsanity.doc
[-]JLpedophileproof.doc
[-]JLRinoa sex scandal.doc
[-]JL beastiality proof (due date 6/13/06).doc


Dresky smirked lightly. He'd honor His Majesty's wish and not write any more slander and articles; he already had ten years worth yet to be published.

Jenrak congratulates Roach-Busters on their effective suppression of a possible inefficient revolt. We would also like to congratulate on their understanding that religious power is not to be trifled with lightly.
~~Temperal Azuika

"I thank Temperal Azuika for the praise and support."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

From: Grand Senate of the Allied Union
To: --Generalissimo J.L.--
RE: Whole disembowlment thing

Beepboopskidilidowhop!

-End Transmission-

bump

OFFICIAL ADDRESS TO THE WORLD

We wish to publicly condemn Roach-Busters for their cruel and unusual punishment for such a minor offense, and at the same time would like to condemn them for their allowance of such censorship in the name of "public stability" and "justice". Though you believe to be fighting communism, your nation is turning into a communist, uber-leftist state right beneath your own feet. We do hope that something like this will not happen again.

Shogun Himura Kenshin

"Let me explain it this way- controversy breeds enmity; enmity breeds hostility; hostility breeds conflict; conflict breeds chaos; chaos breeds subversion. Therefore, if you nip controversy in the bud, there is no chance the final stage, subversion, can be reached."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

"Possibly. But by not allowing controversy and allowing citizens to solve said controversy, you create a society of weak minded fools."

DEMOCRATIC SOVIET REPUBLIC OF KAHANISTAN
Ministry of Foreign Affairs

The Government of Kahanistan had hoped that Roach-Busters had developed an appreciation for human rights. I myself have a copy of the "offending" publication, and could not stop laughing for hours. My aides thought I had imported some laughing sickness from my recent trip to Tahuantinsuyu.

We condemn this act of medieval brutality against the man whose comical art is not offensive at all, unless one is an adherent of the belief that Mohammed's face should not be shown, a statement never found in the Qu'ran.

In the future, we urge the Roach-Busterian Government to be more even-handed with those whose avant-garde art might offend the more fundamentalist of religious extremists. Religious extremism has no place in society, and modern society at large is offensive to them. Are you going to make your women wear veils, too?

Signed,
Margaret Delray,
Minister of Foreign Affairs

"Our Muslims are not extremists. We just wish to avoid offending them."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

The official position of the government on this matter is that both sides seem to have had a lobotomy(though a bit less blunt).

Response from the Nellislandian Council:

The Republic of Nellisland is appalled by RB's blatent disregard for human rights. We do not discourage the actions of banning the cartoon within your nation. If there is the potential to cause mass riots as we have seen throughout the world then something does need to be done. However, disemboweling a human being for this action is completly unacceptable. A punishment for violating the law was in order, but nothing of this length was needed. In the future RB should find more suiting punishments for its people. Thank you.

Signed by all 12 members of the Nellislandian Council

"The punishment was suitable."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

"The punishment was suitable."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

As you were not doing it on the basis of stupidity, it seems doubtful, as only a dangerous fool deserves such punishment.

"The punishment was suitable."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

Message from the Nellislandian Council:

Because the council has more pressing issues to deal with we will be placing a 'Adiutor' to all issues concerning Roach-Busterian violations. His name is 'Nidel Rynrodo'. He will be sending a response soon. Please treat with some respect; he does represent Nellisland. Thank you.

Signed by all 12 members of the Nellislandian Council

The editor who reposted this cartoon probably didn't deserve disembowelment, but he did deserve to be punished for his crime (a gunshot or some kind of lobotomy, referencing the Zackarothian statement out of context, or perhaps strangulation-an ironic punishment-may have sufficed). Publishing such cartoons is a blatant misuse of the right of free speech, and I must commend you for setting an example for the rest.

Jake Featherston IV
President
RSA

From the Office of Nidel Rynrodo:

Generalissimo J.L., you must understand that the actions of your government have violated the sancity of human rights. No one deserves to be disembowled no matter what the circumstances may be. It is understandable that the cartoon was banned in your country for it could insite riots within your nation. But the punishment should fit the crime. You must find suitable punishments for these situations, but the punishment did not fit the crime.

Adiutor Nidel Rynrodo

Official Reply to the Government of Nellisland

Its perfectly justified to kill criminals. If you do not believe that, then the Imperator should not waste his time speaking to a soft liberal nation like yourselves.

-Shah Khosru III

Official Reply to the Government of Nellisland

Its perfectly justified to kill criminals. If you do not believe that, then the Imperator should not waste his time speaking to a soft liberal nation like yourselves.

-Shah Khosru III

From the Office of Nidel Rynrodo:

A soft liberal nation like mine? Nellisland has one of the lowest crime rates in the world and I am upset to hear you say that Shah. In our country we have adopted a strict punishment for criminals. We do have a death penalty, but it is used in extreme case. Nellisland has a fabulous prison system where those who have been charged with a crime must pay there way through prison. Criminals buy there food, clothing, and any other items available for them. There rights are certainaly restricted, as they should be, and over 85% of those released live on to have productive lives. So do not call my country soft because we fine disembowlment a violation of human rights.

Adiutor Nidel Rynrodo

"Let me explain it this way- controversy breeds enmity; enmity breeds hostility; hostility breeds conflict; conflict breeds chaos; chaos breeds subversion. Therefore, if you nip controversy in the bud, there is no chance the final stage, subversion, can be reached."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

So does listening to anything a Pschyotic Pschycian says. Honestly, J.L., I know you know better than to associate with mere children.

--former Prime Minister Tim Ell--

"I thank the Re-united States and Parthia for their warm support. To the rest of you, I ask: Why do you persistently persecute my nation over its internal affairs, which pose not the slightest threat to your stability or security? Do you all really disregard the sanctity of sovereignty so flagrantly? Whatever happened to autonomy?"

--Generalissimo J.L.--

So does listening to anything a Pschyotic Pschycian says. Honestly, J.L., I know you know better than to associate with mere children.

--former Prime Minister Tim Ell--

Is this some sort of personal attack??? We're role playing here, not attacking each other's morals, ethics, etc...just in case you've forgotten.

"Danish cartoon?" Greeson remarked over a cup of coffee as he read the morning newspaper. "I have heard of Danish bagels, but not of a cartoon."

"Perhaps 'Danish' refers to a place," offered his assistant. "Danland?"

"What is that, a nation full of Dans?" Greeson chuckled, barely controlling a cough. "No, no, quite clearly the government of Roach-Busters is quite insane. Fictional nations, fictional cartoons, disemboweling journalists for printing said cartoons... Insane along with most of the world, from what I can tell. It's a sorry state of affairs that can lead to a country being named after a form of pest control. It's times like these that I wish I could spontaneously launch nuclear weapons, put everyone out of their misery."

"Well, the nation of bug killers is being commended for slaughtering someone for publishing a cartoon drawn by someone called Dan," the aide shrugged. "Launching nuclear weapons to end the world doesn't seem quite so insane by comparison. You may even receive an award."

"Bah, like Decisive Action and Kahta before them, they will mysteriously vanish from the face of the planet soon enough. Wouldn't be worth the spittle it would take to say 'fire'," Greeson waved his hand in dismissal and tossed the newspaper down to the floor. "It is unbelievable to me that such a far-fetched, flamboyantly insane nation can exist at all. I mean, if our whole lives were just stories, on some kind of Internet website or something, that kind of character simply wouldn't be believable! Even comic book villains are more believable! But... somehow... it's real!"

"Sir, you're rambling again," the aide said respectfully. "What kind of response do you wish to make?"

"Response?!" Greeson roared. "I'm not responding to a nation that doesn't exist in a comic book!"

"Erm... sir?"

"I think I shall head to Secure Sector 61 and check on the status of our nuclear weapons," Greeson said thoughtfully. "I'm thinking of having them install a big red 'launch' button in my office..."

"Are you sure that's wise, sir... sir...?"

Greeson ignored him and strolled out of the office thoughtfully.

Is this some sort of personal attack??? We're role playing here, not attacking each other's morals, ethics, etc...just in case you've forgotten.

OOC: Note that my comment was purely IC. If it were OOC, I would have stated so, like in this comment. If you recall, I placed you on diplomatic probation a couple of months back, hence the negative sentiment - check my embassy exchange thread if you're wondering.

OOC: Note that my comment was purely IC. If it were OOC, I would have stated so, like in this comment. If you recall, I placed you on diplomatic probation a couple of months back, hence the negative sentiment - check my embassy exchange thread if you're wondering.

OOC: Sorry, that's my bad. I will look. Was the child part directed toward my previous shogun/leader? If it was, I've since changed leaders.

"I thank the Re-united States and Parthia for their warm support. To the rest of you, I ask: Why do you persistently persecute my nation over its internal affairs, which pose not the slightest threat to your stability or security? Do you all really disregard the sanctity of sovereignty so flagrantly? Whatever happened to autonomy?"

--Generalissimo J.L.--

From the Office of Nidel Rynrodo:

You have all right to pass laws in your country Generalissimo J.L., but when you violate the sancity of human rights you open up to critism and constant issues with the world. I do agree with the policy of banning the cartoon; it makes sense to avoid the troubles within your nations, but the punishment did not fit the crime.

Nidel Rynrodo

Free Imperia News

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. In our top story tonight, following the execution of a newspaper journalist in Roach-Busters for republishing cartoons which show the Islamic Prophet Muhammad has a terrorist has sparked riots and protest in the Trinity Empire today. In more than just one form. Earlier today the Jagadian People's Revolutionary Alliance marched down the streets of the city of Inn in protest of Roach-Busters and called for Jagada's immiedately withdrawl from the World Anti-Communist League. When the government sent out a public message that it will not submit to pressure from 'subverise' groups such as the JPRA--things hit the fan. The JPRA began to throw rocks at Jagada's Keep. Immiedately, Crusader divisons were drawn from the surronding areas and after refusing to disband they attacked the JPRA crowd with their rifles, though no shots were fired. Immiedately after that the crowd fled in fear and terror.

Though despite this, another form of protest has arisen, and in a form that the government is not willing to stop. It comes from a Jagadian-nationally known rock-humor group known as 'Free Peoples'. The released a song and video which show the Generalissmio dressed up as the Prophet Muhammad, humbly bowing before Communist and then at their request dancing the song 'Amish'. The song calls the Generalissmio a coward for bowing down to Islam. At the end of the song, it shows the Moslems getting angry at the Generalissmio for bumping into one of them, at which point they beat him and toss him into the ocean, take over Roach-Busters and forged an Islamic Imperium. Lord Protector York has refused to move against this group calling it: "peaceful protest which doesn't breed hostility towards Roach-Busters".

It is unknown the reponse of Roach-Busters, but Lord Protector York stated that as always Jagada will support Generalissmio J.L in his decision to secure his nation."

OOC: That was funny!