NationStates Jolt Archive

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Live Broadcast


"Hello, everyone, this is Walter Krankheit (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Krankheit.jpg) of RBNNN, the most trusted name in government-approved news. In a shocking revelation, the Generalissimo announced today that, "To put it bluntly, you can't legislate morality." This almost caused an uproar in the Patriot Party, which has since its inception adopted 'traditional values' as one of its main platforms. The Generalissimo brushed aside all criticism* and responded, "Why squander billions of dollars and so much effort imposing morality, when we could use those dollars and effort more productively? Moreover, diversity in views - but not political views - is something I've always valued, so it would be the epitome of hypocrisy for me to continue trying to shove morality down peoples' throats." The Generalissimo then announced the following changes:

Abortion is to fully legalized;
All soft drugs and most hard drugs are to be legalized, but strictly regulated;
Prostitution is to be legalized, but strictly regulated;
All pornography, except that featuring animals or children, is to be legalized;
Gay marriage is to legalized, however, gays will still be forbidden from serving in the armed forces, and gay adoption will still be forbidden;
All banned movies, songs, books, etc. (except those banned for political content) are to be legalized;
All outlawed religions except Christian Identity will be legalized, "so long as followers of these religions obey the law."

However, the Generalissimo was quick to add, "This liberalization in social mores will NOT extend to politics." In fact, he announced that several of the legal opposition parties will be banned, and that political activities will be far more sharply curtailed than ever before."


*meaning he executed or imprisoned the critics- ed.

From La Repubblica Oggia

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1840000/images/_1843279_020226paraguay300.jpg
Kaiser J.L. I today announced a stunning series
of legalisations in Roach-Busters, signifying the
possible beginning of a period of social and moral
liberalisation in the Holy Empire.

"You can't legislate morality": J.L. liberalises Roach-Busters


By Mario Vantazoni Somoza, RB City

The sovereign of Roach-Busters announced sweeping social reforms Tuesday, fully or partially legalising numerous touchy societal issues. He drew a clear line on the reach of government influence in Roach-Busterian society and his actions are being called the beginning of a grand social liberalisation in Roach-Busters by political analysts in Pacitalia.

Among his reforms, Kaiser J.L. I legalised gay marriage, pornography, abortion, all soft and some hard drugs, and prostitution. However, he noted pornography would still be illegal if it featured scenes with children or bestiality, and that prostitution would still be regulated by the government. He also said that despite the legalisation of same-sex marriage, gay couples would still not be able to adopt children or serve in the Roach-Busterian armed forces.

In addition to these liberalisations, the Kaiser also announced that all previously banned films, books and music would have such restrictions removed, allowing Roach-Busterians to once again watch, read and listen to whatever they want. However, the Kaiser said "anything criticising the executive operation of Roach-Busters or its allies and friends is still unacceptable and we will continue to prohibit its production, sale or private use".

And in his final move in the sudden social liberalisation of Roach-Busters, J.L. I announced that all religions would be once again permitted, "so long as the followers of those beliefs continued to obey the law".

The Pacitalian Civil Liberties Administration hailed the move, calling it a "grand day in the history of the Holy Empire". Pacitalians have long been critical of the enormous level of complex censorship and prohibition on forms of media and social freedoms, with the former Agustinate of Foreign and Diplomatic Affairs Vasiliou Bandanaris once calling Roach-Busters "a black hole of despotism". It is important to note that comment was made when Pacitalia and Roach-Busters were still staunch allies.

Prime Minister Constantino Sorantanali praised the Kaiser for his efforts. "Hard tasks lie ahead for our Roach-Busterian friends but I feel that his confidence in his people will make things a lot easier as the Holy Empire begins the liberalisation process."

He says he was quite happy to see the moves on the part of the Roach-Busterian sovereign.

"It was a positive step and I would be inclined to take it as a sign RB is opening up to Pacitalian diplomatic attempts to heal the wounds and repair the damage," he added. And while political activity in Roach-Busters will be, from today, dampened slightly, Sorantanali noted "our interest is not in the wellbeing of their political system but in the wellbeing of Roach-Busterians".

Roach-Busters and Parthia have both warmed to the Pacitalian requests for repair to the relations between them. All three were members of the G6 economic alliance before the former two were kicked out for violating the alliance's human rights policies. However, Mr Sorantanali extended an olive branch two days after being sworn in and it has been graciously accepted, with the Shah of Parthia even offering Sorantanali the chance to visit Parthia and work on increased economic cooperation.

To: Roach-Busterian Government, Generalissmo J.L
From: The Trinity Empire of Jagada, Lord Protector Franco York
Subject: Are you Insane?!

Generalissimo, I'm not quite sure we've had the pleasure to meet each other formally, but I have to say the people of Jagada mourn. Ever sense we appeared fully to the world we had admired your nations tough stance upon such things as gay marriage, abortion, drugs, pornography. Yet today you turn against the core foundations of morality.

Since you have chosen this path, we will respect it of coarse, but I have to say Generalissmo...today the world got a little darker.

"Dear Mario Vantazoni Somoza,

It was with great pleasure and delight that I read your article "You can't legislate morality": J.L. liberalises Roach-Busters. I found the article to be authoritative, scholarly, honest, and accurate. It was truly the epitome of journalistic excellence. Its absence of bias, and its clear, concise reporting of the facts, is something of which I staunchly approve. The editors of La Repubblica Oggia would do well to continue using your top-notch stories."

Sincerely,
Generalissimo/Kaiser J.L. I

Personally, I think the [Federative Central Government] needs to shove a couple hundred koltons of nuclear weaponry up Mr. J.L.'s ass and watch him squirm. Sorry to say, but I nearly puke whenever I hear of his so-called 'liberalization of his country.' Neo-liberal, maybe. Perhaps J.L. would live well under some sort of totalitarian regime - other than his own.

Sincerely,
Random industrial worker

LAVREATVS DOOMANVS

JL's Fall From Grace: RB's Legalization of Evil

By Marcus Julianus Herius

RB City, IIV-III-MMVI

In a shocking turn of events, Generalissimo JL, a man Caesar has called "One of my closest personal friends, a man of strong moral convictions," has seemingly plunged our glorious ally of Roach-Busters into an age of decadence and corruption with his legalization of things any good Doomingslander would find absolutely appauling. These things include such deplorable practices as the marriage of sodomites and the practice of Satanism and numerous other heathen religions.

The Emperor has called this new legislation by the Generalissimo "An inspiration from Satan Himself," and has responded by banning the export of weapons to Roach-Busters. Whether or not this move serves to pressure JL into recalling these evil laws is to be seen.

A spokesperson for the freedom fighter organization Manus Dei has called for the severence of relations with Roach-Busters as a whole. Previously, this same spokesperson called for the assassination of the Generalissimo, but retracted this statement due to pressure from the Imperial Government. One thing is for sure, however. Generalissimo JL has lost his favor with the Doomingslanian people, and such favor is not easily regained. In order to regain popularity among such allies, JL will no doubt have to make serious amends.

President Roland of Frozopia in a press conference, when asked if he would ever take up a simialar policy as that of Magdha's:


"No I would never take up a simialar policy. I think It is disgraceful that the Generalissimo has, at least in my eye's, deliberately set out to hurt their peoples whom he is responsible for. I cannot believe that such a party who would introduce this new policy is still within power!"

OOC: As RALM....

IC:

Say it ain't so, J.L.! At least you still hate commies as much as I, that's good.

-Kimiko Ayasugi-Moua

SIC:

"Kimiko, my dear, enforcing all those morality laws strains my law enforcement agents and their budgets to the utmost. Think of the billions of dollars, and hundreds of wasted hours, I would save. I could use that money, and that effort, on fighting international Communism."

--J.L.--

To say that Prince William was stunned would be an understatement.

As a matter of fact, the Prince was shocked and awed, amazed, his mind was blown. What was the reason for this?

It was the sudden turnaround of Generalissimo J.L.'s rule over the nation of Roach-Busters. For the the longest time he had ruled the nation with a merciless, crushing, iron fist. He was as right wing as right wing could be, an "uberfascist" if you will. He butched millions of people, violated basic civil rights, destroyed the environment, and maintained a cult of personality that encouraged fanatical worship for the Generalissimo as as god.

For the longest time, Prince William have despised the nation of Roach-Busters, its leadership, and everything which it stood for. But he dared not complain. At the time, the Principality of Wilhelmsborough was just a fledgling nation with a small population and even smaller army. If Prince William had openly condemned Roach-Busters, there would be no way that his country would be able to protect itself from invasion. So, the Prince kept his feelings to himself and looked on in angered silence.

And then this:

Earlier in the day, the Generalissimo shocked Roach-Busters and the world at large when he said "You can't legislate morality." These words were followed by incredible sweeping reforms which included the legalization and distribution of pornography and other controversial literature. He also allowed freedom of worship, allowing for the return of the old faiths back into Roach-Busters. The Generalissimo even legalized abortions and homosexual marriage!

Prince William was shocked at this change. In the span of one day, J.L. had shifted from extreme right-winger to left-wing centrist.

Prince William could not help but be suspicious of this change. A man that powerful and maniacal doesn't just give out freedoms like that! It goes against his personality!

The Prince frowned. Were these changes too good to be true? Was there some kind of sinister reasoning behind it? He raised an eyebrow. Perhaps it was a pretender who said all that. Maybe the real Generalissimo is....?

In any case, Prince William the First was not about to start celebrating yet.

"Perhaps a Little Too Liberal"
As printed in the Aredeth Herald-Times

Emperor Titus raises eyebrow at J.L.'s newfound "awakening."

Life in Roach-Busters was never simple for it's citizens. The iron grip held on them by leader Generalissimo J.L. has always been stiff and as unyielding as the metal it has often been compared to. But J.L.'s views have since softened, and surprised the nation of Roach-Busters, and the Impereus Gesceus.

J.L. revealed today his plans for a new Roach-Busters. While the nation will remain a far-right superpower, the Generalissimo let a dent be punched in his regime by lessening the amount of laws in Roach-Busters, and, even more surprisingly, surpassed Comatica in it's own sway to the left.

Among J.L.'s slightly liberal reforms are the legalization of abortion, pornography, and books other than politically motivated publications. Prostitution and most drugs also have been legalized, but will be under strict regulation. Also, gay marriges are now allowed in J.L.'s nation, but gay adoption is still forbidden.

Emperor Titus commented on the situation early this morning, expressing what most government officials have been yearning to voice. "While I maintain the full government comradery that has grown between Comatica and Roach-Busters, I find it imperative that I mention that I feel J.L.'s reforms have pushed his government in a direction that is perhaps a little too liberal. I note indeed that Comatica has been treading in the same direction these past few months, but some things, such as drugs and prostitution, are better left illegal. When your citizens safety is in order, such practices as the aforementioned prostitution and use of deadly drugs deserve nothing less than complete illegalization."

No word on when these changes in Roach-Busterian law comes into full effect.
By Marcus Iulas miulas@arehertimes.cta

Secret IC (for those who condemn the reforms)

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

Throughout the Grand Imperium, feelings were mixed. The two chambers of the Imperial Parliament were torn. The House of Aristocracy condemned the liberal actions of J.L., while the Imperial Senate, the only elected officials in Risban, applauded and praised the liberal reforms in Roach-Busters. Risban was one of the few true imperial republics in the world, and worked hard to maintain their motto of "Empire and Liberty" in their government actions... Emperor Scorpius expressed his pleasure that Roach-Busters, a nation which Risban has been able to work alongside before, had granted more freedoms to his people, but expressed concern over the total lack of limitations on said freedoms.


To: Generalissimo JL
From: The Risban Imperial Ministry of Foreign Affairs

The Grand Imperium of Risban applauds Generalissimo JL in his actions to further the civil liberties of the people of Roach Busters. It is a step in the right direction towards freedom.

Sincerely,
Alexander Perkins, High Minister for Foreign Affairs



To: Generalissimo JL
From: Anonymous Member of the Imperial Parliament

Not only have you abandoned every shred of morality that your government still had, but you have placed your people at risk. The only true way for a people to be safe is for some of them to sacrifice certain civil liberties.

It is a dark day in Roach Busters, and the world.

--Anonymous Bureaucrat of Parliament

Official Statement from the Shah of Parthia

I fully back the permitting of social freedoms for the pleasure of the Roach Busterian people. Parthia too has similar permissiveness in regards to social morality and legislation, with exception to homosexual unions. Parthia has long permitted cultivation and use of hashish and marijuana products, simply due to their overall popularity, and regulates opium use for recreational purposes. We similarly, believe in a media free from moral, but not political restriction, as long as certain standards to prevent the young from being corrupted by it.

In all means, the best way to make the people happy is to rule over them like a loving parent, permitting them to enjoy their lives with things that might not be moral, since through that, the people are less inclined to care about politics. When one feels socially free, their political freedoms become moot.

-Shah Khosru III

Official Announcement of the United States of Allanea

We approve the new policies of the Roach-Busterian rulers, and only regret they go not far enough. We believe it is the proper role of government to secure, not limit the rights of all citizens, and we request that the brave Generallissimo scheudle a meeting with the President of the United States of Allanea, to discuss our relationship in light of these – admittedly positive changes. We would like to also use this opportuniy to repeat our condemnation of Doomingsland, Parthians, and whatever oppressive practices remain in Roach-Busters.

"And now back to the Evening Show with Jay Onnel, and Political Analyist Carson Walker."

"Hey so Carson did you here about Magdha, and how they are "not putting a price on morality."

"Oh I did Jay, I tell you I've read over some of the things. Legal Porn, good news for the men, bad for the Feminists."

Laughter filled the air from the audience.

"Hey who's the funny man here huh? Anyway, also bad enough news for our beloved Princess, you know she's Catholic, and is anti-abortion, anti-drug, heck she's probably anit-everything except nudity."

"Now come on Jay this isn't heckle Subaru, this is heckel the Gov. of Magdha."

"Oh of course not. And they are legalizing drugs too. So I guess this means no more dumping your pot down the toliet. No more telling people, thoes weed-looking plants-are just plants."

"I tell you Jay I went their on vacation once, sat down in a coffe shop and several brilliant coversations. Now I'm going back there in a few months, and I doubt I'll have the same experience."

"Let me pciture this for us. Before this: "Sir, wouldn't you say Citizen Kane was the most well made movie? How about that book War and Peace? And when you go back there: Hey like what's happenin man? I'm like so psyched, you want some of this here joint? It's fresh?"

"And I doubt I'll drive any place."

"Oh yeah, with unlimited alchol. (**Pretends to drive***) Woah look out, cat, tree, fish, bear, mushroom, atomic explosion (**Makes crashing sounds**)

"And can you imagine the music we'll always here from the radios?
Hey you bleep bleep bleeep bleep I'm gonna kill you in your slip and I'll bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep. "

"You know it's a wonder they haven't allowed child porn. I can imagine the Pedos saying: "Hey we want kitty porn!"

"Don't you mean Kiddy?"

"Heck why not just allow for both?"

"And Abortion, Carson. I can see it now, clinics with lines down the the border, of 17, 18, 19 20 21,22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 year olds lined up."

"And the Feminists who get pregante will be first in line."

"Well that's all the time we have now tonight. Good night everyone."

DEMOCRATIC SOVIET REPUBLIC OF KAHANISTAN
Ministry of Foreign Affairs

The Government of Kahanistan is pleased to hear that Roach-Busters has relaxed its draconian laws and removed numerous death-penalty offenses from its code of law.

Perhaps our view of Imperator J.L. I as a totalitarian fascist was mistaken. Since Roach-Busterian law now grants its citizens a wide range of basic human rights, the Government of Kahanistan has removed Roach-Busters from its list of diplomatically boycotted nations. We are interested in forming diplomatic relations with them.

May the tide of social liberalization in Roach-Busters proceed even further. We urge Roach-Busters not to give in to Doomingslandian economic bullying and keep the people free.

Signed,
Margaret Delray,
Minister of Foreign Affairs