NationStates Jolt Archive

Here Ye! Here ye! the Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine/Palentine UN Office is proud to announce that it is opening up diplomatic relations with the rest of the world. Please send us a description of your ambassador, and what your embassy needs are, and we will see what can be done. The only ground rule is that the most entertaining posts get better digs.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius,
Prime Minister
The Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine

P.S. Here's some information from our travel Bureau letting you know of the Beauty of our fair nation. http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Palentine

Ambassador list

Ohmigodtheykilledkenny (to): Franco Rocky Sulla
Ohmigodtheykilledkenny (from): Susannah Batko-Yovino


Luchamose (To): Admiral of the Red(Ret.)Flipper
Luchamose (From):Душегуб

Evil Gopher Eaters (to): Sewickly Sam
Evil Gopher Eaters (from): Bob Smith

Vuam and Isma (to): Devil Sakai
Vaum and Isma (from): Jena Wrangell and Eliah Vrijheid

Hou Mian (to): Mr Grazillio Bombalutzi
Hou Mian (From):Wei Goupi

The Zombie Alliance (to): Mr Burke Hare
The Zombie Alliance (from): Elder Fane Slathaa

Darsomir(to): Reverend Slick
Darsomir(From):Acolyte Embras of the Court of Noon

Compadria (to):Major Ayumi Yakota
Compadria(from):

Cobdenia(to):Mongo
Cobdenia(from):The Most Honorable Arnold Glingsting-Barcland-Mooselambaster-Kettle, Third Baron Klacknicose

Ausserland(to):Lord Chicolini
Ausserland(from):Monongahela Allegheny Prczybycz

Hotrodia(to):Racer X
Hotrodia(from):Gina Delgado

Mationbuds(to):Rose
Mationbuds(from):

Shazbotdom(to):Cap'n Mad Molly
Shazbotdom(from):

Ceorana(to):Lady Godot
Ceorana(from):Timothy Howards

Commonwealth of the Wolf Guardians(to):Sheepdog Jack
Commonwealth of the Wolf Guardians(from):Ryan 421

Greetings Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine! Luchamos welcomes your opening of borders! We would send our esteemed Душегуб. He stands six feet tall, has brown eyes, and walks with a limp (See the following for why we think he does). He is a mystery since he suffers from amnesia, forgetting even his name. It appears he was in the KGB for a while, however the only remnant of those days is his new name. (It means Murderer in Russian) He has been trained in diplomatic matters and is rather peaceful, however he still has the KGB skills, and if put in life or death situations will use them. He requires little gaurd for this reason, but the NPL Epsilon Gaurd would still like to send a small detatchment.

We in Luchamos have little dry land, leaving the little we have for farming and such. Therefore our cities float in the sea. So you might want to send an ambassador who likes seafood...

Greetings Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine! Luchamos welcomes your opening of borders! We would send our esteemed Душегуб. He stands six feet tall, has brown eyes, and walks with a limp (See the following for why we think he does). He is a mystery since he suffers from amnesia, forgetting even his name. It appears he was in the KGB for a while, however the only remnant of those days is his new name. (It means Murderer in Russian) He has been trained in diplomatic matters and is rather peaceful, however he still has the KGB skills, and if put in life or death situations will use them. He requires little gaurd for this reason, but the NPL Epsilon Gaurd would still like to send a small detatchment.

We in Luchamos have little dry land, leaving the little we have for farming and such. Therefore our cities float in the sea. So you might want to send an ambassador who likes seafood...

"Jillian, get in here.", Lord Julius spoke into the intercom on his desk. It looks like it might be a long day. Whatever made his Emperor decide to open diplomatic relations with non-AO nations was beyond him, however orders were orders. Lord Julius's buxom red-headed assistant walked in, her hips swaying under the short skirt like a cobra.
Yes, Julius ,can I help you?" Jillian asked.
julius leered and said" you certianly could...but this is official business. THe nation of Luchamos is wanting to send this man as an ambassador to our nation." Julius shows Jillian the dossier. "Who do we have to send in exchange?"
Jillian thought and said, How about Admiral of the Red, Flipper? He recently retired and he loves seafood."
Julius smiled and said, "Excellent!" He began to draft a reply

Greetings and salutations,
We will be more than pleased to accept your ambassador, and will set him up a the Edison Hotel, in the 'Burgh. If he gets bored, he can visit Club Ed, a premire Gentlesman's Club, located in the hotel. We will enclose elite membership to the Club as well. After careful thought we are sending one of our renouned veterens, as Ambassador to your nation. Admiral of the Red, Flipper was one of the first dolphins drafted into Palentine Naval service. He will be arriving with his staff of former Naval dolphins. I would advise you to keep pregnat women and young children away from him and his staff. As a result of their close contact with CPO's and Gunny Sergents, the dolphins have developed rather filthy mouths(as we say here Come Visit the Palentine,our Dolphins swear like drunken sailors).
Excelsior,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

Your Admiral of the Red, Flipper will be more than welcome here. If he pleases to have underwater accomadations instead of near the surface, we can set him up with some. As for Душегуб, we are going to have to ask you to prevent him for going to Club Ed, as this has been shown in the past to make him use his KGB skills unwisely

Oliver Peterson
Supreme Cheif Oliver Peterson NPL

"Sir, I see an oppurtunity" Foreign Affairs Advisor Yuri Tankov announced to the voice box.
"Well what is it you insilent fool?" the rash voice asked.
"Well, uh I see a way to change our relations with a nation, Palatine, in a good way, for a change" the advisor answered.
"Very well, if it is about that ambassador thing Yurikolov told me about I will send a letter now, tell Bob Smith to pack his bags, or you die.." The voicebox then shut off.

From the Desk of the Dictator

The Dictatorship of Evil Gopher Eaters welcomes an oppurtunity to extend our relationships. We ourselves would send to you Bob Smith. He is a well trained diplomat, however he does suffer from being too normal. We feel your society may be just the thing he needs to make him feel crazier. We ask the ability to send some gaurds, of course. Any ambassador you send will be welcome in the Dictatorship, and given a birds eye view in the direction opposite our sweat shops (A Diplomatic Courtesy). We ask that you send no Dolphins though, as all our lakes our so poluted they would kill them.

From the Desk of the Dictator

The Dictatorship of Evil Gopher Eaters welcomes an oppurtunity to extend our relationships. We ourselves would send to you Bob Smith. He is a well trained diplomat, however he does suffer from being too normal. We feel your society may be just the thing he needs to make him feel crazier. We ask the ability to send some gaurds, of course. Any ambassador you send will be welcome in the Dictatorship, and given a birds eye view in the direction opposite our sweat shops (A Diplomatic Courtesy). We ask that you send no Dolphins though, as all our lakes our so poluted they would kill them.

Lord Julius looked at the latest missive. The Dictatorship of Evil Gopher Eaters...interesting. Hmm they have sweatshops too... Pehaps eventually we can find a business relationship. Then Lord Julius frowned as he read about the new ambassador. THis guy is a stuffed suit. Oh well We'll fix him up right.

Greetings and Salutations to the Great Dictator,
We have no problem with Bob Smith as ambassador, and we will fix him up right for you. We will be setting up the embassy on the South-Side, near the Burgh Defenestrators(our Combat Football League team) home stadium. The embassy will be within walking distace of some of the finest sports bars in the Burgh, where he can meet our crazy fans of the Defenestrators on a daily basis. Of Course the ambassador will recieve season tickets as well. In return we are sending Sewickly Sam, our local Groundhog weather prognosticator. He has pridicted 6 more weeks of winter and is looking for a change in climate.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

Salute, Evil Conservarive Empire Of The Palentine UN Office, honourable.

I wish to send you Jena Wrangell and Eliah Vrijheid as Ambassadors. Both will feel at home in your delightfull country, as they were both interned for medical resons only a few years ago. However, in the asylum, they were trained in diplomacy, and both showed great potential.

They will be escorted by 3 Service recruits, bearing custom-built military-class rifles. However, this will not be a problem, I suppose. On the other hand, the presence of their 14 doctors might. This is unlucky, but vital to the cances of avoiding nuclear winter for as long as they are ambassadors. They will also be accompanied by 4 civil servants.


Here in Vuam and Isma, we are able to cater for your diplomats' desires. Seeing that Ehime is on a beach, it would be a wise choice to propose the position to someone who is not aquaphobic. Also, as Vuam and Isma is in the tropics, it would be unwise to select someone who dislikes heat.

May the sun shine on our empire for a long time.
Vuam and Isma Prime Minister,
A. Lyon.

Lord Julius looked at the latest missive. The Dictatorship of Evil Gopher Eaters...interesting. Hmm they have sweatshops too... Pehaps eventually we can find a business relationship. Then Lord Julius frowned as he read about the new ambassador. THis guy is a stuffed suit. Oh well We'll fix him up right.
Tankov looked at the information about this new ambassador and his nation. He could not help but notice their sweatshops and such, a business relationship would be great. He drafted a then sent a letter

Lord Julius of Palatine,
We accept your ambassador wholeheartedly. He will find that we only eat gophers, not his precious little groundhogs. We also wish to maybe enter a business relationship, trade, share secrets to our sweatshop, and what not.

Yuri Tankov

Greetings and salutations Prime minister Lyon,
We accept your two ambassadors wholeheartedly. You will find that the Palentine has excellent medical facilities, and assylums due to the large number of Mad Scientist per capita residing in the nation. I hope your ambassadors do not mind heights and due to the size of your contingent we will make available the entire 25th floor of the Palentine Steel building. It is located dahntahn, and very close to one of our premire hospitals, should it be required. We will be sending as ambassador, former Palentine Woman's Wrestling Champion Devil Sakai http://www.mediacritica.net/research/pixelpinups/rumbleroses3.gif. She has retired from the ring and is planning to open a wrestling school. Your country seems a good place to relocate. Currently she is the assistant ambassador to Ohmigodtheykilledkenny, but has shown enough promise to be given her own ambassadorship.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius,
Prime Minister

*bump!*

Sorry, evil dictator, but I failed to see this post when I browsed this morning.

As for Devil Sakai, I believe that she will find Vuam and Isma delightful. We are ready to offer her a workplace near to the V&IWC (Vuam and Isma Wrestling Club), and we will even provide her with a hand-stiched mask if required.

Also, if she feels the need to break some furniture, then that doesn't bother us much, as long as she does it in a polite and civil manner.

Prime Minister,
A. Lyon.

Sorry, evil dictator, but I failed to see this post when I browsed this morning.

As for Devil Sakai, I believe that she will find Vuam and Isma delightful. We are ready to offer her a workplace near to the V&IWC (Vuam and Isma Wrestling Club), and we will even provide her with a hand-stiched mask if required.

Also, if she feels the need to break some furniture, then that doesn't bother us much, as long as she does it in a polite and civil manner.

Prime Minister,
A. Lyon.

No prob... actually we are Evil Conservatives with an eccentric Emperor:D
Excelsior,
Lord Julius

Oops.

Hope you won't waste bullets shooting my ambassadors... they're useless anyway.

Anyway, all the best,
Tootle-pip,
Hidee-ho!
A.Lyon.

Excellencies Lord Julius and Emperor Captain Spaulding I:

The Federal Republic applauds your efforts to reach out to the international community. A year's supply of Wild Turkey™ is on its way; we heard you guys have had some problems retaining your supply as of late. We would also arrange for a special meet-and-greet with a few of our voluptuous (and rather talented) commandos, but as their province is strictly combat, not diplomacy, we fear you may never have the opportunity to see them in action. :(Sincerely,
Alex Tehrani
Secretary of State

The Sea-Faring Nomadic People's of Hou Mian humbly ask for an embassy within the great Evil Conservative Palentine.

We wish for our cheif diplomat to be Wei Goupi, from the Gonghe tribe. He would bring with him his family (one wife and one daughter), a bodyguard for each, one linguist translator, and a secretary. (Previously, he ran some of our less pleasant state-owned factories...I feel he might make a good fit with your nation.)

Further staff would be:

2 cultural officers, to help arrange program exchanges and promote greater international understanding.

5 political officers, to help facillitate cooperation between our two nations.

5 consular officers, to help any Mianish who come to visit your great nation.

5 economic officers, to help pave the way for lowering any barriers that may exist between our nations.

And lastly, 10 people in administrative roles.

Further more, we would like to place 4 military officers and 20 troops there, to provide additional security if it should ever be needed. (This makes a total of 59 people.)

We do have one additional request, which we will gladly reciprocate. We would like rights of extra-territoriality with regards to our embassy. This is so our citizens there can feel the sense of ease only found when at home. As mentioned, we will gladly do the give you extra-territoriality within the Palentine embassy.

Moreover, our nation is a tropical archipelago. We can make accomodations available in town, or we can try to build an underwater/floating embassy, if you send members of your navy.

Thank you for listening to the request of this humble supplicant,
Fu Huangdi
Khaghan of Hou Mian
Khan of Fubai Tribe

------------------------------------
For information on Hou Mian,
http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Hou_Mian

Excellencies Lord Julius and Emperor Captain Spaulding I:

The Federal Republic applauds your efforts to reach out to the international community. A year's supply of Wild Turkey™ is on its way; we heard you guys have had some problems retaining your supply as of late. We would also arrange for a special meet-and-greet with a few of our voluptuous (and rather talented) commandos, but as their province is strictly combat, not diplomacy, we fear you may never have the opportunity to see them in action. :(Sincerely,
Alex Tehrani
Secretary of State

My good friend Alex,
Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. While it is a pity that we cannot see you commandos in action(I hear they are rather amazing and limber, by the way), we gratefully accept the gift of Wild Turkey(TM). Sad but true, the last debate in the UN has caused a severe strain on out supply. Once again we are glad for your nation's friendship.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

Greetings and salutations Khan Fu Huaungdi,

We gratefully accept your ambassador Wei Goupi, his family and staff. We have no problem with giving your embassy extra-territorial rights. A moderate sized estate, the Quackenbush Manor, has recently passed into the hands of the government after the death of the last heir. The estate is just outside of our capital, the 'Burgh. It is 10 acres of grounds,surrounded by a fence with the Quackenbush family arms on the gate. I would advise your ambassador, his family, and staff to bring warm clothes, as we are in the Antarctic.

We would wish to send to you as an ambassador Mr Grazillio Bombalutzi. He is a silent type, who communicates with honks of a horn he carries around, but besides that is a heck of a nice guy, and an excellent Harpist. He will have a small staff of 5 assistants and secretaries, and 10 security agents. the only requirement we have for his lodging is he need a room with good acoustics to practice his harp. Enclosed is his picture.http://www.nndb.com/people/865/000043736/harpo-marx.jpg

Excelsior,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister
The Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine

P.S. Always count the silverware ,before and after inviting Mr Bombalutzi to a State Dinner, as he tends to "aquire" such utensils.

OOC: New responders, I may not be able to respond to your posts until monday. I'm going to be busy the rest of the day. And Sunday? Well thats the Super Bowl. My beloved Steelers are playing in It and I will be too giddy and busy to respond. Thank you for your consideration.

Greetings and salutations Khan Fu Huaungdi,

We gratefully accept your ambassador Wei Goupi, his family and staff. We have no problem with giving your embassy extra-territorial rights. A moderate sized estate, the Quackenbush Manor, has recently passed into the hands of the government after the death of the last heir. The estate is just outside of our capital, the 'Burgh. It is 10 acres of grounds,surrounded by a fence with the Quackenbush family arms on the gate. I would advise your ambassador, his family, and staff to bring warm clothes, as we are in the Antarctic.


We are deeply honored to have been granted such a site to use. It sounds delightful. Also, we are grateful for the advice; we are a tropical nation, and thus it is doubly hard for us. We may have to rotate our personnel more often than I would have originally liked.


We would wish to send to you as an ambassador Mr Grazillio Bombalutzi. He is a silent type, who communicates with honks os a horn he carries around, but besides that is a heck of a nice guy, and an excellent Harpist. He will have a small staff of 5 assistants and secretaries, and 10 security agents. the only requirement we have for his lodging is he need a room with good acoustics to practice his harp. Enclosed is his picture.

Will one of his assistants be able to translate for him? We wish to be able to conduct business, and if we cannot understand his honks, it may be difficult.

Your humble servant,
Fu Huangdi

Will one of his assistants be able to translate for him? We wish to be able to conduct business, and if we cannot understand his honks, it may be difficult.

Your humble servant,
Fu Huangdi

Of course. If one is not around, usually its one honk for yes, and two for no. He is also very accomplished at pantomime. I also forgot to mention that her is easily distracted by pretty blonde ladies( he usually starts to chase them while honking his horn). So it would be prudent not to send any pretty blondes, to conduct business.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius

Of course. If one is not around, usually its one honk for yes, and two for no. He is also very accomplished at pantomime. I also forgot to mention that her is easily distracted by pretty blonde ladies( he usually starts to chase them while honking his horn). So it would be prudent not to send any pretty blondes, to conduct business.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius

It is well that you sent him to our nation, then, for we have no blondes. If he is blond or fair-skinned, I recommend he bring plenty of sunblock.

Thank you for your assistance,
Fu Huangdi

A massive Yay Stillers!!! Bump!!!!

Bump again

bump!

bha-dump bump!

bump!!!!

bump!

huge Bump!

The Zombie Vatican is willing to send one of its eldest Fanes, Slathaa (http://www.walkingfreely.com/images/Misc/Zombie.jpg) to establish an embassy in the Palentine. The Zombie Vatican, capital of the Zombie Alliance, also happens to be on the Antartic continent, so it will be a short trip and the guests will already be acclimated. Slathaa is fluent in English, Latin, and Southern Penguin and would be accompanied by seven guards and two-and-a-half servants.

Any ambassador you would like to send to us would be lodged in the Zombie Vatican itself and must not be squeemish at the sight of blood/people with missing body parts/animated corpses.

With honesty,
Zanathoo, Minister of Foreign Affairs.

Greetings and salutations, your Zombieness',
We welcome your elder Fane Slathaa, and hope that (he?) and the staff enjoy your stay. We have the perfect place for an embassy. THe old MacGreagor place is a run down mansion that is reputed to be haunted. Its grounds contain a graveyard, cellar crypt, and a semi frozed swamp that is reputed to be the home of a beast of unspeakable horror(pehaps even Cthulu himself?). One of the outbuldings was a laboratory used by a former owner to conduct experimennts into things man was not meant to know. It is thought that the mansion even contains a secret library of various grimiores of unspeakable evil. We think that your ambassador will find it pleasent enough.

We will be sending to your nation a Mr. Burke Hare http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/karloff.jpg, a famous...err...umm...supplier of ...study material to our fine Medical Schools. i assure you he is not the least bit squeemish.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius,
Prime Minister

So are we actually going to RP the arrival of our ambassadors, et cetera?

Iffn yunz wannna.

It is high time that knowledge of the Flame is spread to more people. More importantly, knowledge of our national liquor, Flamewater. This has proven very effective at staving off the harshest winter, so Acolyte Embras of the Court of Noon should be fine. We expect your ambassador shortly.

To: The Evil Conservarive Empire Of The Palentine UN Office
From: Marcus Hydros, Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs for the Republic of Compadria
Countersigned by: Samuel Cromwell, Lontra of the Republic of Compadria

Sire

I write to you with the intention of establishing an embassy in your fine nation, so as to further diplomatic links between your country and ours.

We note naturally that the Republic and the Evil Conservative Empire (henceforth, with your kind permission refered to as the ECE) have differing political, social and cultural outlooks on the world and international affairs. Nevertheless, we hope to share in the advancement of international understanding and to that end we would be honoured and grateful if diplomatic relations could commence.

In addition, Sire, we would be deeply interested in the possibility of economic cooperation and transactions between our nations becoming the norm. We note that uranium is a key export of the ECE and given that the mining of the substance is largely prohibited under national law, funding for our nuclear energy programme has stalled somewhat. Thus, if we could arrange, having established diplomatic relations, to exchange in trade terms, regular shipments of uranium for the timber, book publishing output, coal, steel and chemical processes of our nation's economy, then we would be most grateful.

Should you acquiesce to our humble request Sire, then we would be most grateful if a modest diplomatic arrangement was granted to us, as per your choice, with our only requirement being that a pool be provided for the sacred otters we bring with us.

May the blessings of Tarkan the Great Otter be upon you Sire.

MH

OOC: I'm on vacation this week, and feeling extremely lazy, however I'll try to get an answer posted bu the weekend is over.

It is high time that knowledge of the Flame is spread to more people. More importantly, knowledge of our national liquor, Flamewater. This has proven very effective at staving off the harshest winter, so Acolyte Embras of the Court of Noon should be fine. We expect your ambassador shortly.

Lord Julius was sitting in his office, making paper airplanes out of state papers. A functionary walked in and said,
"Lord Julius, Darsomir requests an embassy. They're sending one of thier theologians/missionaries."
Lord Julius thought about it for a second,and said,
"Well in that case, we will send one of our own origional theologians. kinda an ecumenical thing."
Lord Julius took up pen and wrote,

Greetings and salutations,
we are pleased to accept your ambassador, Acolyte Embras. We hope the Acolyte will enjoy its stay in the Palentine. We have alllocated a small 2 story house in the Shadyside section of the 'Burgh, near some of out college campuses. In the spirit of ecumenical cooperation, and good will, The Palentine is sending one of its very own origional theologians, Reverend Slick, the doctor of Style.http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/slick.jpg He is one of the formost expert theologians in the Palentine, and is the Head of the Religeous Studies Department of the Palentine Polygnostic Institute.
Sincerily,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

Greetings and salutations Marcus Hydros, Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs for the Republic of Compadria,

The Evil Conservative Empire is glad to hear from your nation. We, of the Palentine firmly believe when it comes to possible profi...err...diplomatic relations, one shoud be able to look past political differences. We see no problem with opening up uranuim trade with your nation. Anyway, we can work out the details of that later, perhaps a a trade delegation.

We have for the usage of your embassy, a nice 3 story building, in the Squirrel-Hill section of the 'Burgh, near some of the premire shopping districts. We have modified the ground floor of the House, to set up a room with a pool for the sacred otters of Compadria.
As our Ambassador we are sending a former military/ special ops officer, Major Ayumi Yakota http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/f6849173.jpg. She's rather quiet, but is very professional. It would be advised to keep the noise level around her down, as loud explosions, and flashes seem to bring out flashbacks and causes her to use her special training.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

There was a knock on the door of Rory Relp's office

"Come in!"

The incredibly ugly, secretary entered the room

"Telegramme for you, Mr Relp"

"Thankyou, Miss Klebb"

Miss Klebb placed the telegramme on Relp's desk, walked to the door, and knocked again

"Go out!" yelled Relp

He put down the incredibly dull dossier on the wheat harvest in Compadria and read the telegramme

THE PALENTINE HAS OPENED DIPLOMATIC CHANNELS STOP PM REQUESTS YOU RECOMMEND SUITABLE CANDIDATES FOR AMBO TO THE GOV STOP

Relp walked to the filing cabinet and picked up the dossier on The Palentine, and scanned through it

"Evil conservative...gun loving...something about a pornographic statue...hmmm"

He put the file down and picked up the telephone; a brisk voice answered.

"Lord Klacknicose's residence, this is his valet speeking. How can I help you?"

"Rory Relp, the Foreign Secretary, here. Can I speak to Lord Klacknicose, please?"

"Yes, sir"

Relp could here the valet shouting to his master down the phone

"Oi! Arsewipe! Some important terd wants to speak to you!" Rory had forgettin that Lord Klacknicose's valet had tourrettes.

"Ahoy hoy, Lord Klacknicose speaking" the voice was high pitched, and conveyed a strong sense of inbred stupidity

"Ah, Arnold" Arnold was Lord Klacknicose's first name "I was wondering..."

"Look, Rory, I've already apologised for borrowing your motorcar and crashing it into the reservoir and then trying to throw your daughter under a tram, but look here my dear fellow, how was I to know that...

"...no, no, Arnold, I want to talk to you about something else. I was wondering, how would you feel about representing our great nation abroad?"

"Well, I, urm...well, I'd rather n..."

"Super my dear fellow, you'll be on the next aeroplane out to The 'Burgh"

"But..."

"Don't worry, Arnold, I'll have your tailor sort out the appropriate clothes and send them over to you. Goodbye!"

"What...I must pro..."

The 'phone went dead

"Blast! Right, Hawkes, get the car ready and pack up some clothes. I'm supposed to be off to the Palestine or some such place. I think it's tropical, so make sure you pack cool clothes."

"And what will you travel in, Gitchops?"

"Oh, just what I'm wearing..."

"I don't think a cloth cap, morning coat, loin cloth, string vest and army boots are going to be appropriate, fucktard"

"You may be right. I'll travel in one of the linen suits"

"As you wish, Arsebandit"

Back at Relp office, he called his secretary in

"Miss Klebb, could you run up a dossier on Lord Klacknicose and send it to the Palentian head of state?"

"Yes, sir"

"And send it out in the diplomatic bag"

"Yes, sir"


http://www.tallarmeniantale.com/pics/Curzon-india-w-lady-curzon.JPG
Name: The Most Honorable Arnold Glingsting-Barcland-Mooselambaster-Kettle, Third Baron Klacknicose

Occupation: Idiot

Marital status: Windower; wife died after she mentioned that she would have prefered a leopard skin rug

Qualifications: A level in Right Angles and 90 degrees

Experience: Car theft, police constable helmet theft, attempted murder, drunk in charge of a lemming. Expert endagered species slaughterer

His Excellency, Lord Julius
Prime Minister
The Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine

Sir:

I am directed by His Royal Highness, Leonhard II, Prince of Ausserland, to advise you that the Principality of Ausserland wishes to establish formal diplomatic relations with the Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine, to include exchange of ambassadors and the establishment of suitable embassies within our respective nations. We presume that the provisions of NSUN Resolution #127, "Diplomatic Immunity", shall apply.

In furtherance of this undertaking, His Royal Highness has nominated Ms. Monongahela A. Prczybycz to serve as the Ausserlander ambassador to the Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine. Some information concerning the Ambassador-Designate is provided as an attachment.

We look forward with confidence to the formalization of the already harmonious and cordial relations between our two nations.

/s/ Patrick T. Olembe
Minister for Foreign Affairs
Principality of Ausserland

ATTACHMENT:

Monongahela Allegheny Prczybycz
DOB: 28 November 1973
POB: Pottsburgh, Zhaladmard Province, Ausserland
Education: BS in Nursing, University of Oldwillow; MA in International Relations, Royal University of Zhaladmard
Current Position: Assistant Deputy Minister for Extraregional Relations, Ministry for Foreign Affairs

Ambassador-Designate Prczybycz has been advised of the climatic conditions in the Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine. She will be accompanied by her cat, Bubbles. The animal will be suitably quarantined in Ausserland prior to travel.

A picture of Ambassador-Designate Prczybycz is provided here for your convenience:

http://h1.ripway.com/reclaim/Palentine_Ambassador.gif

Lord Julius sat at his desk moaning. He knew better than to try to drink, his Emperor under a table. Yet at last night's state dinner honoring the new heir, he tried once again. As he sat in the semi-darkness, his assistant Velda walked in, turned on the lights and said without much sympathy, "Alive are we? Good, there is business to attend."

"GAAAAHHHHH! Not so loud! Leave the flowers, and pay your repects at the door!", wimpered the Prime Minister.

Not paying much attention to his cries, Velda continued," Minister Olombe of The Principality of Ausserland has requested an Embassy. Also your Brother in Law is coming over. He needs a new job."

"Great gooogly moogly, What in the name of the Blue Blazer did he do. I had him safely ensconced in the Court of Princess Mint. I thought Guido or Nunzio would have eliminated him by now."

"Apparently, he was running a bookie joint from his office, and had to flee after a raid, by Don Bruce's enforcers."

"Alright, I'll give him a job, I hope he likes dwarves."

Greetings and salutations Minister Olembe,
We are glad to read about your wanting to open an embassy in The Palentine. The good opinon of the princpality of Ausserland, and its representatives means alot to us. We assure you that we are in full accordance with the Diplomatic Immunity Resolution of the UN. We await with pleasure the arrival of your ambassador. We have provided her and staff, a modest 3 story townhouse, in the Oakland section of the 'Burgh, as we are quite familiar with the academic prusuits of menbers of your nation. The townhouse is wiuthin easy commute to many of our fine libraries. Also ,knowing the fondness of dwarfs have with beer, arrangements have been made with the Palentine's distributer of Iron City Beer(TM), to keep the cellar stocked with said beer. We hope this is satisfactory.
In return we would like to send my Brother-in-law, Lord Chicolini,http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/primopiano_leonard_chico_marx.jpg to be our ambassador to the Principality of Ausserland. He is an excellent pianist, and is fond of horse racing.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

Greetings and salutations Marcus Hydros, Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs for the Republic of Compadria,

The Evil Conservative Empire is glad to hear from your nation. We, of the Palentine firmly believe when it comes to possible profi...err...diplomatic relations, one shoud be able to look past political differences. We see no problem with opening up uranuim trade with your nation. Anyway, we can work out the details of that later, perhaps a a trade delegation.

We have for the usage of your embassy, a nice 3 story building, in the Squirrel-Hill section of the 'Burgh, near some of the premire shopping districts. We have modified the ground floor of the House, to set up a room with a pool for the sacred otters of Compadria.
As our Ambassador we are sending a former military/ special ops officer, Major Ayumi Yakota http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/f6849173.jpg. She's rather quiet, but is very professional. It would be advised to keep the noise level around her down, as loud explosions, and flashes seem to bring out flashbacks and causes her to use her special training.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

We thank you for your kind provision of an excellent embassy. We will offer your Ambassador, Major Yakota, a fine 3 story neo-classical building, 5 blocks from the Ministry of Information and next to the royal tombs, which are usually silent on account of them being off limits to the public. We welcome her and will make all provisions necessary.

May the blessings of our otters be upon you.

Marcus Hydros
Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs for the Republic of Compadria

Lord Julius sat snickering in his office. He was writing a letter to Patrick Olembe,Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Principality of Ausserland.

Greetings old Chap,
Just a little confidential note from me to you, about Lord Chicolini. He's my brother-in-law, and a real pest. If he follows true to form, within a short time He'll probally open a bookie parlor at the new Embassy. He's addicted to the horses. Feel free to deal with him as you wish. Don't worry about causing an international incident, as the Emperor, and I couldn't care less what happens to him.I made sure to send a competant staff, because truthfully, the man's an idiot. If Ausserland needs any real decisions to be made, just make sure Deputy Ambasador Hackenbush knows about it, as I'm using this posting to give the lad some seasoning before giving him his own Embassy.
Warmest Regards,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

bump

The Galactic Empire of Mationbuds wishes to set up Diplomatic Ties and an Embassy Exchange with the Palentine .

Your's Sincerely ,
Darth Bane , Grand Adviser 2

OOC: Mationbuds, I'm not ignoring you, I've been very busy. I'll try to respond in a day or so. Sorry for the delay.:)

[And what about poor Cobdenia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10831118&postcount=39)? :p]

[And what about poor Cobdenia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10831118&postcount=39)? :p]

OOPS:( I'll get on this right away.)

Lord Julius, looked at the folder on his desk. It said Cobnedia in it. He opened it and read, Then he uttered a few words that only a dolphin would utter at this time of the day. "Forgot to send them an ambassador. Better fix that."
"Hmm,sent us an noble idiot...sigh, guess I'm going to have to teach them a lesson... now who do I send." At this point, Velda walked in to the office. She said,
"My brother Mongo go out of jail again. Thats the fourth time in two months! The big lug's such a complete idiot. He needs to stop punching horses, and cops."
Julius got a smile that was most unpleasent, and asked Velda, "Would an ambassadorship keep him out of trouble?"
"Julius, he's an idiot. He can barely utter complete sentences. Besides he'd be representing our nation."
"Its not as If the rest of the world likes us, or cares for us much. Besides the only real purpose of the exchange is to find trading parners."
"well...I suppose..." Velda said hesitantly.
"Splended!"

After Velda left the office, Lord Julius composed this letter...

Greetings and Salutations,
we wholeheartedly accept your ambassador, and await his arrival. We have secured a very nice hunting lodge outside of the 'Burgh. I understand the Baron is quite the big game hunter. Well, we've got some polar bears that need thinned out. Native beaters and bearers will also be provided(although they will tend to be a little short, and eat a lot of fish entrails).
We are informed by our friends in OMG, that to reach Cobnedia requires time travel. This should not present a problem. As our embassador, we wish to send one Mongo. He not too bright, but he has a big heart. we hope he will do a good job. We expect interesting things from the boy. As he is the Brother of my personal assistant, Velda I am hoping he does good. Oh one thing I should mention about Mongo, is sometimes he gets a little rambunctious. if your police must get involved, I urge them not to shoot him, as shooting him only makes him mad.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

Ambassador Mongo
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/096c90be.jpg
( he's the big one with the hat).

A Private jet, had its cargo ramp lowered as the Shooting Star (http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/shirow/Shooting20Star.jpg) was loaded on. After it is secured, both car and Driver will be on their way to Hotrodia City, Hotrodia to begin ambassadorial duties.

The Galactic Empire of Mationbuds wishes to set up Diplomatic Ties and an Embassy Exchange with the Palentine .

Your's Sincerely ,
Darth Bane , Grand Adviser 2

Lord Julius looked over their request. "Hmm, not much information, but they appear to be evil, or at the very least Sith." "Well then, I'll see if I can find someone evil to send." Lord Julius opened a file and thumbed through it. After a few minutes He thought to himself, "Heh, even better I'll send a super-hero."

He took up his pen and wrote,

Greetings and Excelsior Darth Bane,
We are please to set up an embassy exchange with you, and hope to hear from you soon. As our ambassador we are sending Rose.http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/shirow/evil.jpg. She is one of our nation's finest heroes, and is quite skilled at kicking villian arse. We hope to hear from you soon.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius

Lord Julius looked over their request. "Hmm, not much information, but they appear to be evil, or at the very least Sith." "Well then, I'll see if I can find someone evil to send." Lord Julius opened a file and thumbed through it. After a few minutes He thought to himself, "Heh, even better I'll send a super-hero."

He took up his pen and wrote,

Greetings and Excelsior Darth Bane,
We are please to set up an embassy exchange with you, and hope to hear from you soon. As our ambassador we are sending Rose.http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/shirow/evil.jpg. She is one of our nation's finest heroes, and is quite skilled at kicking villian arse. We hope to hear from you soon.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius


Excellent ! We will welcome your ambassador and hero with a parade and as much pomp and fancy stuff as possible . And our consulate general for our embassy will be Sith Lord Marcus Gerald . We will allocate a plot of prime land on the Capital Planet and will be a 10 minute drive to the Imperial Palace and and 5 Minute drive to the Foreign Affairs Department . You can choose to set up the embassy to your own design and build it at your own cost or have a custom built one for free . You can also have the embassy to your design but built for free by Imperial Engineers and Droids .

As for us , we wish to have a embassy that is near to the ruling centerand near to ameneties . The ambassador and the consulate general will be sent with :
1)10 Dicter Warrior Commandoes
2)20 Vangaurd Troops/Clone Troopers
3)4 Hover Tanks
4)1 Armoured Hover Vehicle
5)2 Lambada Class Shuttles
6)2 TIE Defenders , 4 X-Wings

Regards ,
Sith Lord Darth Bane , Chief Adviser 2
to
Emperor Darth Matter

Theodore Locke sighed. He had to find an ambassador to an Evil Conservative Empire, and all the applicants for an ambassador position were fluffy liberals. He didn't want to wreck Ceorana's relations with a nation who Ceorana was on fairly good terms with to begin with.

He had to take an unprecedented step that he really didn't want to have to take. But it was all by the regulations, on page 24,392 of the Regulations for the Effective Operation of the Department of State of the Congressional Republic of Ceorana During Time of Peace. He had become familiar with that page during searches for ambassadors to several other places. He had already contacted the other departments for ambassadors to detail, and he had already contacted the Congress for nominations. There was only one option left.

He picked up a sea-green phone from the row on his desk and pressed the Talk button.

"Hello, Ceorana Emergency Workforce, Eduardo speaking, how may I help you?"

"This is Secretary of State Theodore Locke. I need to talk to Senior Commander Balheim-Shnoeger."

"Who?"

"Senior Commander Balheim-Shnoeger. Of the Personnel Office?"

"Hm. Balheim-Shnoeger. Let's see. Would that be Natasha or Opal?"

"I need to talk to Senior Commander Natasha Balheim-Shnoeger!" barked Locke impatiently.

"Oh, right. Hold, please."

After 20 minutes of waiting, Locke was connected to Natasha Balheim-Shnoeger.

"Hello. Senior Commander Balheim-Shnoeger?"

"Yes?"

"This is Secretary of State Theodore Locke. I'm looking for an ambassador to the Palentine. Do you have any officers who might be interested in a few years abroad?"

"Erm, let me check...oh, yes...I might have one. Timothy Howards. He's an accountant in the War and National Security Department who hasn't been liking it much. He's great, but his morale's so low there he's not working as well. Do you need him for anything?"

"Yeah, we're looking for an ambassador to the Palentine. You don't think he'd be interested, would you?"

"Oh, of course he'd be interested! Send me the papers and I'll give them to him tomorrow!"

"Thanks, I'll do that right away."

A few days later, Locke phoned the Palentine with a request for an embassy and promising the fax new Ambassador Howard's records as soon as possible.

Lord Julius was a little worse for wear.
"Too many Martinis at the AAA treaty signing", he though.
Carefully he reopened his bloodshot eyes, and with trembling hands read the missive from Ceorana.
"Ahh an embassy request...who should I send?", he pondered.
Then in a flash of hung over brilliance, he opened a file, and wrote this reply,

Greetings and Excelsior, ecetery ecetery,
We are glad to hear from the great nation of Ceorana, and look forward to the Arrival of Ambassador Howards. At this time we have a three story townhouse in the Oakland section of The 'Burgh reserved for the Cerorana Embassy. Its close to Dahntahn, and our great sports-bars, and nightlife. Its also close to our Sports stadiun, Forbes Field, the home field of the Palentine Pirates, and 'Burgh Defenestrators. the townhouse is adjacent to Queen Kimmoniwannalaya Park, where an anatomically correct statue (http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/shirow/Qkimmona.jpg) of the Queen can be found. Please let us know if any further additions or modifications are needed.
As our Embassador, we are sending Lady Godot, a niece of the Famous Buck Godot. We hope she meets with your approval.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/shirow/ladybuck.jpg
Lady Godot

Thank you for your embassy. We think you will like yours as well, which is located in the penthouse and top threefloors of the Hotel Stormdella, right across the street from the Ceorana Bigger Business Bureau.

Theodore Locke
Secretary of State

A bipedal wolf, who seems to have not only been dyed a brilliant blue, but also has a real mohawk, is wearing the black suit of the government of the Commonwealth, and is displaying a huge grin and wagging his tail, appears on the screen. "Greetings to the Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine from the Commonwealth of the Wolf Guardians. As we are constantly looking for new allies, we hereby wish to express our interest in a nonhostile exchange of ambassadors! I, Ryan 421, would be our ambassador to your nation. Any ambassador you send would be fully catered to, and would reside in Government Building 7, the Foreign Affairs office, a beautiful building in the heart of our amazing Origin City. We look forward to hearing from you!" He salutes the camera, which smartly fades out the image.

Lord Julius sat in stunned silence, looking at his screen...
"They're sending us a Wolfman. How can I respond to that?"
Julius thought, and thought, and thought, and thought. He lit up a cigar and puffed on it, no good. Then he cracked open a bottle of 101proof ol' Thought Provoker. He drank about half the bottle before it finally came to him. Gleefully he picked up his pen and wrote the following responce.

Greeting and Saluations,
We are quite pleased to to hear from our friends of the Wolf Guardians. we eagerly await the arrival of Ryan 421. We have arranged for suitable lodging for your embassy and staff. Currently we have available a fine penthouse apartment suite in Spaulding Towers, in the Dahntahn area of The 'Burgh. The dahntahn is a bustling area of trade and also home to many fine eating establishments and watering holes, and is only a short cab ride from our sports complex.
As our ambassador we would like to send one of our famous disc jockeys, Sheepdog Jack. He's a hep cat, and cool dude. If you could provide access to a radio station where he could broadcast his syndicated Saturday Night Classic rock show, we his fans would appriciate it.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius,
Prime Minister

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/WolfmanJack.jpg
"Sheepdog" Jack

Ryan 421 once again enters the screen, with a huge grin. "Thank you for your reply! I shall depart immediately, and my government car will stay at Origin Airport to escort Sheepdog Jack to his flat in the government complex. The flat's equipment has been told to allow him to transmit universally. I look forward to serving the interests of peace with you!" His grin impossibly widened, and it looked as though he might crack up. "Ciao!" The image faded.

OOC: BTW, that is a hillarious picture. Well done!

The Federal Republic is pleased to introduce its new ambassador-designate to the Evil Conservative Empire:

Susannah Batko-Yovino

A committed public servant and loyal Conservative politician, Ms. Batko-Yovino brings years to government experience to her new position representing the Fernanda Administration in The 'Burgh. She was a federal assemblywoman for six years (2001-2007), and speaker of the Assembly for the last two. Unfortunately, her party lost control of Congress last year, and she was forced to resign. Nonetheless, the president has sought to reward her for her unreserved support for the administration's legislative agenda during her time as speaker -- despite several scandals surrounding her personal and family life (scandals which we're sure you'll be reading about in various local rags). One is her supposed negligence after her parents' 1996 death, in refusing to attend to her little brother Susa, who in turn sought guidance in the teachings of Xt'Tapolopaquetl radicalism. Then there's her infamous penchant for exhibitionism, and professing to be shocked -- shocked! -- that tabloids would dare run topless photos of her (for more on this, check the photo essay in this month's issue of Kennylife, pages 26-34). This peculiar behavior is sure to continue during her tenure as ambassador, as she repeatedly shows up on the sands of Malibu Islands in attempts to show up Her Hottness (as if that's possible). Here's a preview:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1359/771038487_4d3527e624.jpg

Let the catfight commence!

I am looking forward to my planned visit to The 'Burgh later this month, and am free for a long-awaited rematch with the empress, any time, any place! Name it!

Sincerely,
Sammy Faisano
Secretary of State

The Federal Republic is pleased to introduce its new ambassador-designate to the Evil Conservative Empire:
Susannah Batko-Yovino

I am looking forward to my planned visit to The 'Burgh later this month, and am free for a long-awaited rematch with the empress, any time, any place! Name it!

Sincerely,
Sammy Faisano
Secretary of State

To my Esteemend collegue Sammy Faisano, excetery excetery,
Greetings and salutations. While we will miss the services of Steve Sax as your ambassador, we are happy for his promotion. We will be happy to accept the services of Ms. Batko-Yovino as the new ambassador. We look foreward to working with her in ant capacity(if you know what I mean, and I think you do.). I have also forewarded your message to the Empress. She has accepted your Challenge. Coincidentally there is a Pay-per-veiw scheduled during your visit.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

All New and Improved Ambassador list

Ohmigodtheykilledkenny (to): Zara Blackthorne, Mistress of Magic
Ohmigodtheykilledkenny (from): Susannah Batko-Yovino

Cobdenia(to):Mongo
Cobdenia(from):The Most Honorable Arnold Glingsting-Barcland-Mooselambaster-Kettle, Third Baron Klacknicose

Ausserland(to):Lord Chicolini
Ausserland(from):

Hotrodia(to):Racer X
Hotrodia(from):Gina Delgado

Ceorana(to):Lady Godot
Ceorana(from):Timothy Howards

Commonwealth of the Wolf Guardians(to):Sheepdog Jack
Commonwealth of the Wolf Guardians(from):Ryan 421

Bears Armed(to):
Bears Armed(from): Chief Birrin

Cookesland(to): Ms. Tara "Queen of Spades" Simeon
Cookesland(from): Ms. Amber Jessica Finkledorf

To: Lord Julius, Prime Minister, The Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine _


Hrarroom!
(= "Greetings!")


My government is interested in exchanging embassies with your nation, for the sake of developing trade and possibly of future cooperation on matters of mutual interest within the World Assembly too if we ever decide to re-join that organisation... and also in the interests of developing better relations with the other members of your region as a whole. (We do already have an ambassador in the nation of Omigodtheykilledkenny, but he has only a few staff accompanying him and seems unlikely to be able to devote much time to dealing with any nations other than that one itself.)

Our Ambassador-Designate is named Birrin, and is a son of the paramount chief of the Clan Khaddarrach. He has spent the last eight years both as one of his Clan’s two Voices within the High Council of Clans — our national government — and as our National Champion in the Heavyweight class for Males’ Freestyle Wrestling, but has now requested a change of duties. Having considered your nation’s own reputation in the field of Wrestling, and also the location of his Clan’s territories within our own country’ ‘Northlands’ division which means that he should be better able to cope with your climate than any of the other candidates who are currently available for a post of such importance, his assignment to this position seemed to be what I gather your people might describe as “a no-brainer”.

If you approve this request then our embassy staff will also include a number of other diplomats, including a strong ‘Commercial’ section and several Military Attaches (who will be there to look into the possibility of our doing some ‘shopping’ in your nation’s famous armaments industry), as well as some supporting personnel, for a total strength of thirty-two people. Almost all of these personnel will be Ursines, of course, but this mission will probably include a few of the ‘SmithFolk’ (whom I believe you would call ‘Dwarves’, although apparently they themselves regard that term as a derogatory one) too.


Best wishes, and many fishes,
from

Beorra o Berrum,
Chairbear, Committee for The Strangers,
High Council of Clans,
Confederated Clans of the Free Bears of Bears Armed.

___________________________________________________________

OOC: Unfortunately I don’t have a picture of Birrin available, but if you can envisage an anthropomorphised ‘Kodiak’ bear, who walks bipedally so that he’s about ten feet tall (even without the ‘mohawk’ hairstyle that he favours), then that should give you the general idea. He has a number of coloured patterns painted into his fur in various places, to commemorate achievements or for mystical purposes, and except in the most extreme weather will only be wearing leather trousers (reaching down only about halfway from knees to ankles) and a cape. His people are seen as ‘primitives’ by some of the southern Clans, and it’s true that they generally don’t have as much in the way of technology as some other groups within the nation, but he’s just spent eight years living in the capital city after all and is neither stupid nor ignorant… He does tend to play up the “simple tribesman/wrestler” stereotype (or at least the "noble savage" one) a bit, however, probably for the advantage that being underestimated can give him in negotiations...

To:Beorra o Berrum,
Chairbear, Committee for The Strangers

Greetings and salutations, excetery, excetery.

We are quite pleased with the communication offering to establish diplomating releations with your fair nation. Your proposed ambassador, Birrin, has excelent qualifications, and we look foreward to his arrival. I am quite certian that along with his ambassador duties, the Palentine Wrestling Federation will probally seek to contact him about a return to the ring(at least on a limited basis, perhaps PPVs). We will also wish to send an ambassador to your fair nation, and shall contact you shortly when we have found the perfect canidate.
Excelsior,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w107/Cookesland/Flags/th250px-USSeal.png
Official Diplomatic Communiqué

To: Lord Julius, Prime Minister, The Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine
From: Department of State, Coricas, Cookesland


I am sad to say that while we have tried to improve our relations thoughout the vast world of ours we have not done a good job in our very home. Therefore, we wish to exchange embassies with The Evil Conservative Empire. We wish to present Ms. Amber Jessica Finkledorf (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eat-the-press/daniella3-thumb.jpg) as our official representative. Ms. Finkledorf graduated from Pau State Univerisity and has a M.S. in Nuclear Physics, as well as a degree in Political Science. She is fond of Eskimos, "tush" tattoos, pineapples, gargling Windex, Barry Manilow inflatable dolls, cacti, sleeping with large tomatoes, and nude snake wrestling in Jell-O pudding. She speaks fluent Portuguese, Latika, and Pittsburghese. The embassy will hire citizens from the Palentine as well as those from Cookesland in our embassy. Feel free to establish an embassy in Cookesland.


Best Wishes,
Steven J. Andolor
Secretary Steven J. Andolor

To:Secretary Steven J. Andolor

Greetings and salutations excetery, excetery,
The Palentine is always glad to open diplomatic relations with other nations, especially those found in our native region. Some of the male members of our staff are looking foreward to Ms.Finkledorf's arrival. we feel that she will enjoy her stay. We have set up embassy accomodations in the Oakland section of the 'Burgh, in a very nice three level townhouse, for your offical use. The embasy is located very close to the very busy entertainment district, and within walking distance of some very good nightclubs. In return we would like to send to your fair nation as ambassador, Ms. Tara "Queen of Spades" Simeon (http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f235/HoratioSulla/shirow/Poker.jpg), the current Palentine Professional Strip Poker Champion. We hope to hear from you soon.
Exceslior,
Lord Julius
Prime Minister

http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w107/Cookesland/Flags/th250px-USSeal.png
Official Diplomatic Communiqué

To: Lord Julius, Prime Minister, The Evil Conservative Empire of the Palentine
From: Department of State, Coricas, Cookesland


We thank you for the acceptance of our embassy request. We will welcome Ambassador Simeon with open mouths...err..arms. The Palentine's embassy is located next to the Kennyite Embassy at 3430 Capitoline Boulevard. The Embassy district isn't located too far from any of the sights and excitements of downtown Coricas, and the neighborhood itself is very nice if I do say so myself.


Best Wishes,
Steven J. Andolor
Secretary Steven J. Andolor