NationStates Jolt Archive

The Most Serene Republic and our Most Serene Grand Champion and Perfect Leader of our Great People under the Direction of Allah, His Majesty Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn, has this to announce to the world. To our fellow Islamic brothers: let us stand strong and mighty in the face of our enemies; may we triumph gloriously and bath our hands in the blood of the world's vermin who exist only to harm us. Allah be with us.

To the collective infidels of the world: you will be destroyed. The striking talons of the mighty sand falcon will, as to the snake, tear apart your flesh and render you dead. We will be victorious.

That said, we open our nation to all countries for embassies. We welcome foreigners into Uzibookabeckistan to open trade with us; our emerging oil and furniture industries carry great promise for the future.

The Extirpating Lachrytomists of Jenrak
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y89/ExtremeDumb/JenrakLogo.jpg
On behalf of the Jenrakian councils, we would be indeed honoured to give forward our hands in an attempt for economic and political stability between our two nations, and possibly open up larger trade relations to further both nations. If interested, please reply soon.

The Extirpating Lachrytomists of Jenrak
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y89/ExtremeDumb/JenrakLogo.jpg
On behalf of the Jenrakian councils, we would be indeed honoured to give forward our hands in an attempt for economic and political stability between our two nations, and possibly open up larger trade relations to further both nations. If interested, please reply soon.

We would be delighted to open relations with your nation. Please discuss your ideas.

His Honorable Majesty and of Great Importance Unmeasurable,
Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn

We would be delighted to open relations with your nation. Please discuss your ideas.

His Honorable Majesty and of Great Importance Unmeasurable,
Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn

The Extirpating Lachrytomists of Jenrak
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y89...JenrakLogo.jpg
Ah, that is indeed good news. We would like to outline three major ideas which could benefit:

(1) Information passed between both states are to be entirely for government purposes. Any corporate or social information passed are to be through the private industry. We cannot risk having corporate information mixed up with government information, as that could have dastardly results.

(2) None of our embassies nor our contacts are to be outside the political capital, and the security solely from the country's. Jenrak will not provide such state with security forces for your embassy, and we do not expect the other way around. All activities involving our internal structure will be done safely away from your embassy, as well.

(3) Any corporate disputes between companies in our nations are to be settled without any major government interference.

These three main ideas are the pillars to our alliances, and if Uzibookabeckistan agrees, then they will have made an economically stable ally.

To all jihadists, Islamists, terrorist thugs, killers, and all those who rain destruction on the civilized world in the name of God: You cannot run; you cannot hide! We will hunt you down and destroy you!! There is no refuge from the wrath of Kenny! We will not rest until all those who would threaten peaceful societies with weapons of mass destruction are brought to justice!

That said, we would love to exchange embassies with you. This (http://www.elcaballero.it/webmaster/desktop/girls/1/Girls%20011.jpg) is Stephanie Granger, the cousin of our ambassador to the United Nations and a Hooters Girl. You may find her attire unsuitable, even obscene, but that's why she was chosen. Her outfit is nonnegotiable. Ms. Granger will be accompanied by 25 armed penguin guards and a sizeable staff, some of whom may actually be undercover spies or plainclothes commandos, but that's the risk you take when you let foreigners in.

We look forward to doing business with you, and eagerly await your response and the arrival of your counterpart envoy (we'll need to know his or her name, by the way). Please visit Kenny's One-Stop Diplomacy Shop! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=454422) for all your diplomacy needs.

~Alex Tehrani (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Alex_Tehrani)
Secretary of State

To all jihadists, Islamists, terrorist thugs, killers, and all those who rain destruction on the civilized world in the name of God: You cannot run; you cannot hide! We will hunt you down and destroy you!! There is no refuge from the wrath of Kenny! We will not rest until all those who would threaten peaceful societies with weapons of mass destruction are brought to justice!

The Serene Republic, as all good Muslims shall, will unleash hell upon earth to all those responsible for the corruption and injustice caused by their wrongdoing and lack of faith. Those who do not believe in the mighty, peaceful and merciful Allah must be struck down according to His righteous law.


That said, we would love to exchange embassies with you. This (http://www.elcaballero.it/webmaster/desktop/girls/1/Girls%20011.jpg) is Stephanie Granger, the cousin of our ambassador to the United Nations and a Hooters Girl. You may find her attire unsuitable, even obscene, but that's why she was chosen. Her outfit is nonnegotiable. Ms. Granger will be accompanied by 25 armed penguin guards and a sizeable staff, some of whom may actually be undercover spies or plainclothes commandos, but that's the risk you takle when you let foreigners in.

The Serene Republic finds this...woman...disgusting. Her attire is entirely unbefitting of a representative. You sicken us with this insult. That said, we graciously accept Ms. Granger into our nation along with her company of guards and staff. She will be treated with the respect she deserves under Uzibookabeckistani law.


We look forward to doing business with you, and eagerly await your response and the arrival of your counterpart envoy (we'll need to know his or her name, by the way). Please visit Kenny's One-Stop Diplomacy Shop! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=454422) for all your diplomacy needs.

~Alex Tehrani (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Alex_Tehrani)
Secretary of State

Our envoy will come in the form of the acclaimed Prince Jesbazni Kronkin Doshner-Aln Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn II, one of the many, mighty sons of His Majesty. He will be in the warm company of no fewer than thirty guards and the appropriate numbers of associated staff members.

Allah be with you.

His Merciful, Powerful, and Allah-Given Handsomeness,
Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn

The Extirpating Lachrytomists of Jenrak
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y89...JenrakLogo.jpg
Ah, that is indeed good news. We would like to outline three major ideas which could benefit:

(1) Information passed between both states are to be entirely for government purposes. Any corporate or social information passed are to be through the private industry. We cannot risk having corporate information mixed up with government information, as that could have dastardly results.

The Serene Republic agrees in earnest. Corporations are scarcely trusted in Uzibookabeckistan as they are most corrupt and a slap to the almighty face of Allah in their very nature. But sharing of this information will be most beneficial to our two states.


(2) None of our embassies nor our contacts are to be outside the political capital, and the security solely from the country's. Jenrak will not provide such state with security forces for your embassy, and we do not expect the other way around. All activities involving our internal structure will be done safely away from your embassy, as well.

Agreed, as well.


(3) Any corporate disputes between companies in our nations are to be settled without any major government interference.

Heads tend to roll when there are corporate disputes in Uzibookabeckistan. For international affairs, we will lend our wisdom when needed to settle instances.


These three main ideas are the pillars to our alliances, and if Uzibookabeckistan agrees, then they will have made an economically stable ally.

We thank you and agree to the outlined terms. May we both prosper for ten thousand years under the guidance of Allah.

Allah be with you.

His Majestic Awesomeness,
Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn

We thank you and agree to the outlined terms. May we both prosper for ten thousand years under the guidance of Allah.

Allah be with you.

His Majestic Awesomeness,
Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn

Then Jenrak thanks Uzibookabeckistan for their agreement on the alliance. Let us hope this alliance lasts.

The Serene Republic, as all good Muslims shall, will unleash hell upon earth to all those responsible for the corruption and injustice caused by their wrongdoing and lack of faith. Those who do not believe in the mighty, peaceful and merciful Allah must be struck down according to His righteous law.Well, then, it's a good thing I'm a Muslim.

All enemies of freedom and democracy must know that their days are numbered. Your cowardly attempts to scare our nation into chaos and retreat will fail. We will bury you! Also, Mohammad was gay and smelled like bad falafel. :p

We warmly welcome His Highness into our nation. We'll put him up on one of the seedy strips in Paradise City's renowned Red Red Red Light!!!! District, between the bordello and the Déjà Vu. We pray he'll be comfortable there.

Finally, you should note that, now that we are fully aware of your nation and have located it on the map, our nuclear arsenal has been re-aligned accordingly. <Grmph!> ... Erm, forget I said that last part.

God be with you,
Alex Tehrani

[Open Message]

The McKagan Government feels sorry for how stupid many nations of the world have became. Fighting over religion is like fighting over who has the best imaginary friend. It is unfortunant that such stupidity has infiltrated so many governments where no proof of ANY god exists. So McKagan leaves you with one message: If you look to invade or cause damage to any nation or people, based on religion or lack thereof, the unintelligent islamic government in your nation WILL be removed.

Then Jenrak thanks Uzibookabeckistan for their agreement on the alliance. Let us hope this alliance lasts.

May Allah bless our great alliance.

His Resolute and Most Humbleness,
Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn

Well, then, it's a good thing I'm a Muslim.

The Serene Republic is most pleased at this news. We wait for the day when the whole world will say such.


All enemies of freedom and democracy must know that their days are numbered. Your cowardly attempts to scare our nation into chaos and retreat will fail. We will bury you! Also, Mohammad was gay and smelled like bad falafel. :p

The Serene Republic relishes in freedom. We feel that democracy, however, is an over rated failure. The government must know best or else there would be no such thing as government. Your insult to His Holiness hurts us. Some would call you a fake Muslim. We will refrain from such at this point for the sake of good relations.


We warmly welcome His Highness into our nation. We'll put him up on one of the seedy strips in Paradise City's renowned Red Red Red Light!!!! District, between the bordello and the Déjà Vu. We pray he'll be comfortable there.

His Awesomeness does not approve. Women are not meant to be subjects for visual enjoyment or entertainment in the bedroom. They are meant to be mothers and loyal wives. Their duty is to their man.


Finally, you should note that, now that we are fully aware of your nation and have located it on the map, our nuclear arsenal has been re-aligned accordingly. <Grmph!> ... Erm, forget I said that last part.

God be with you,
Alex Tehrani

His Worshipfullness finds that to be humorous. He laughs. He laughs greatly.

Allah be with you.

His Purposeful and Caring Majesty,
Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn

~~~~~~~~~~~~
To: Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al ... er ... I know there was more... Most Serene Republic of Uzibookabeckistan

Greetings from the Libertarian Concordance of Czardas! We are quite pleased to hear of the entrance of a new nation onto the international scene, although we fear that because of the large infidel population of our nation we may run into some disagreements in the near future. For instance we just discovered that the chief of the Grand Council is an S & M fiend, or one-sixth of the military officers are ... er, where was I?

At any rate, the Concordance once again welcomes you to the international community and bids you a pleasant day. May your chosen God* look down benevolently upon you, etc.

~Kari Alhoun, Czardaian Foreign Minister

*Figure of speech
~~~~~~~~~~~~

SIC: "Damn, what were the proper formal compliments to a religious nation again?"

[Open Message]

The McKagan Government feels sorry for how stupid many nations of the world have became. Fighting over religion is like fighting over who has the best imaginary friend. It is unfortunant that such stupidity has infiltrated so many governments where no proof of ANY god exists. So McKagan leaves you with one message: If you look to invade or cause damage to any nation or people, based on religion or lack thereof, the unintelligent islamic government in your nation WILL be removed.

The Serene Republic and His Mightyness don't find your blasphemous insults to be entertaining. Your heathen people will burn for your sins once the Almighty has His way.

To: Uzibookabeckistan
From: McKagan State Department
Subject: You Lose

Yes, us evil 'heathens' will all burn in hell because we disagree with the morality police. Your incorrect use of the word "don't" proves that you are very... lacking, in the education department. But hey, you believe that a random man in the sky controls everything and will destroy the world because it's so evil, but he still loves us.

We can't say we didn't see it coming.

His Awesomeness does not approve. Women are not meant to be subjects for visual enjoyment or entertainment in the bedroom. They are meant to be mothers and loyal wives. Their duty is to their man.This is most unwelcome news, especially considering that your embassy has already been fumigated, sanitized, renovated, lavishly furnished, and now ready for Your Highness's eagerly anticipated arrival. No one is forcing Your Highness to look at these girls of ill-repute; just to live next to them. Besides, it'll give you a unique opportunity to soak up some local culture! Your new neighbors have even agreed to staff your harem -- unless, of course, Your Highness also objects to concubinage! :mad:

Also, be assured that even though we saw fit to ready your embassy ourselves, you needn't fear any foul play or ill intentions on our part. You will be most secure in your new digs, and we would never dream of bugging you! Still, you oughtn't be surprised if you sneeze and one of the chairs utters, "Gesundheit!"

Finally, I freely admit that my "Westernized" upbringing might have corrupted in beliefs and morals, and that I may be in need of a serious rekindling of my faith. In that vein, I humbly submit that I be permitted to make a pilmigrage to your great nation, so that I may learn more of my rich heritage, and endeavor to improve relations between our peoples. Be not alarmed when you see me, however; the AK-47 I'll be sporting is purely ceremonial!

God be with you,
Alex Tehrani

Yes, us evil 'heathens' will all burn in hell because we disagree with the morality police. Your incorrect use of the word "don't" proves that you are very... lacking, in the education department.Umm, let's see. His Mightynesss chose to employ the plural ("The Serene Republic and His Mightyness"); I fail to see how the use of "don't" was out of order. And we are not amused by your random insults on people of faith.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
To: Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al ... er ... I know there was more... Most Serene Republic of Uzibookabeckistan

Greetings from the Libertarian Concordance of Czardas! We are quite pleased to hear of the entrance of a new nation onto the international scene, although we fear that because of the large infidel population of our nation we may run into some disagreements in the near future. For instance we just discovered that the chief of the Grand Council is an S & M fiend, or one-sixth of the military officers are ... er, where was I?

At any rate, the Concordance once again welcomes you to the international community and bids you a pleasant day. May your chosen God* look down benevolently upon you, etc.

~Kari Alhoun, Czardaian Foreign Minister

*Figure of speech
~~~~~~~~~~~~

SIC: "Damn, what were the proper formal compliments to a religious nation again?"

The Serene Republic gives you warm blessings for your compliments and welcoming to the international circle. While we may have our differences with nations on moral grounds, we can look past those for the better of all countries. Except those nations filled with filthy degenerate infidel scum.

His Worthiness and Grand Protector of All Things Holy, Pleasant, and Kind,
Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn

This is most unwelcome news, especially considering that your embassy has already been fumigated, sanitized, renovated, lavishly furnished, and now ready for Your Highness's eagerly anticipated arrival. No one is forcing Your Highness to look at these girls of ill-repute; just to live next to them. Besides, it'll give you a unique opportunity to soak up some local culture! Your new neighbors have even agreed to staff your harem -- unless, of course, Your Highness also objects to concubinage! :mad:

No, no, be assured that His Powerfullness is only objecting to these....girls...on spiritual reasons. Personal tastes are another matter to be discussed in private.


Also, be assured that even though we saw fit to ready your embassy ourselves, you needn't fear any foul play or ill intentions on our part. You will be most secure in your new digs, and we would never dream of bugging you! Still, you oughtn't be surprised if you sneeze and one of the chairs utters, "Gesundheit!"

This could trouble the Serene Republic, but for the sake of good measures between our nations, we shall keep any suspicions to ourselves.


Finally, I freely admit that my "Westernized" upbringing might have corrupted in beliefs and morals, and that I may be in need of a serious rekindling of my faith. In that vein, I humbly submit that I be permitted to make a pilmigrage to your great nation, so that I may learn more of my rich heritage, and endeavor to improve relations between our peoples. Be not alarmed when you see me, however; the AK-47 I'll be sporting is purely ceremonial!

God be with you,
Alex Tehrani

Ah, His Majesty is striving to strike a balance between the Western world and the core beliefs of our traditional faith. So far that has resulted in random beheadings of infidel scum and the elimination of certian aspects of Western culture. However, that does not mean he is not open to change in our wonderful nation.

Allah be praised.

His Quad'fric* and Holy Specialness,
Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn



* = Uzibookabeckistani for "cool."

And we are not amused by your random insults on people of faith.

[MSD Response]


Did you expect to be?

The Most Serene Republic is still welcoming nations (gentle Muslim brethren and sickening infidels alike) to establish good relations with our nation.

His Mighty, Wise, and Honorable,
Mohammed DaRule'Jama Al-Zin Roshin Koshdor Afizziwa-Bohkar Al-Dajinn