NationStates Jolt Archive

Robzor Mcginty gaped at the piling Declarations of War against the fledgling nation of Paralax. It baffled him how so many nations could be up in arms over a simple dinner invite, some of these nations were the ones not governed by idiotic warmongerers. Some even threatening nuclear action! It was like they thought of Dreadfire as thier beloved daughter, and they were out to protect her banquet virginity from big bad Mr. Wiggles, a jelly-bean born human. Something had to be done to protect Wiggles and his clones. He knew that at least one of them would be safe, Wiggles or one of his clones was currently on channel Mars's favourite program "The bulbous and the braindead", making a complete fool of himself as usual. Robzor knew something had to be done to protect Paralaxia. He jotted down a quick note, and gave it to his secretary to distribute.

-From the desk of Robzor Mcginty-

Greetings to all hostile nations.

As you all know, you have chosen to try to inflict harm upon Wiggles, perhaps the least dangerous man in the universe. Martian colony 43 has decided to declare Paralax a protecterate, three Venator class Star Destroyers and seven Correllian CR90 corvettes are currently en route to Paralax, all hostile fleets will be blown out of the water before they reach the shores, and all hostile ground forces will be slain without mercy by our Terminator armies. We're giving you twelve hours to withdraw your forces, lest you suffer our displeasure.

Thank you.

Robzor Mcginty,
President of Martian colony 43

Robzor then wrote a letter inviting any willing allies to help with the protection.

OOC: Bad bad bad bad BAD move man... You're screwing with a nation that RAPES ISDs in mere minutes. Enjoy the loss of your fleet.

IC:

Task Fleet Pestilence had recently completed its repairs after the disastorous Galactic Civil War. Now they were deployed to eliminate the Martian presence over Paralax.

Transmission to the Martains:

You are forewarned, recall your ships or be destroyed with extreme prejudice. We have deployed Task Fleet Pestilence to deal with you if you refuse to vacate the area.

Greetings to all hostile nations.

As you all know, you have chosen to try to inflict harm upon Wiggles, perhaps the least dangerous man in the universe. Martian colony 43 has decided to declare Paralax a protecterate, three Venator class Star Destroyers and seven Correllian CR90 corvettes are currently en route to Paralax, all hostile fleets will be blown out of the water before they reach the shores, and all hostile ground forces will be slain without mercy by our Terminator armies. We're giving you twelve hours to withdraw your forces, lest you suffer our displeasure.

Thank you.

Robzor Mcginty,
President of Martian colony 43


the Warmaster;s rage was apparent to all who could see him, send them this message

"Dear protecter of the greatest waste of space in all of the Realities, when we have the resources we will take action, and how can you defend such a Barbaric Monster?"

OOC: Is it me or do I see another Feminany/Feline Catfish esque situation on the roll?

OOC: Is it me or do I see another Feminany/Feline Catfish esque situation on the roll?

OOC: Yes you do, this is FC all over again, without the larger nations support, or nukes...

OOC: Southeastasia, you weren't even on NS back when Feminany posted. And secondly, do you even know what happened back with Feline Catfish?

IC:
OFFICIAL REPLY FROM THE PANOOLIEDOM

The "government" laughs so loud at this the roof burst from our bamboo parliament. Who cares about a clown (psychiatric patient more like it) named "Mr. Wiggles"? It sounds like a failed party act, and so should everybody act upon it. A failed attempt at life.

Nobody cares, and Holy Panooly's probably the only old nation who replies to this mess. Young nations, go find yourselves a new cause.

- Barom Dominique Templeton, Self-Appointed Ruler of Holy Panooly

OOC: Southeastasia, you weren't even on NS back when Feminany posted. And secondly, do you even know what happened back with Feline Catfish?
OOC: Holy Panooly, I just picked up on what little pieces of info left behind from Feminany's time. As for Feline Catfish, it was the 'Lord Dreadfire's stance of Feline Catfish' thread link I picked up on while digging in AMF's threads to look up his Sentinel SD stats (I didn't know how to subscribe at the time, which was during the end of june), and from there, I read through what happened.

Official Message from Haraki:


This is a bizarre phenomenon, that so many people would be willing to go to war over one single man. It would be understandable if that man killed people, or perhaps was an atrocity in some way other than being big and sweaty. Yes, I understand I may be underestimating the situation when I talk about the grotesqueness of Mr. Wiggles himself, but the fact that respected nations are preparing to destroy him and his entire nation, with millions of innocent people in it, just because they don't like his lifestyle or the food eaten in his nation.

True, I have seen stranger thigns in my time, but this is approaching the top. A phenomenon, as I claimed before. I recall when a cadre of nations were willing to simply make fun of a single man in a phone booth making prank calls wanting to nuke other nations, and I took part gleefully. I recall when most of the world was united against those who claimed protection from, and I quote, 'Giant Steel Penises', who inevitably ended up being referred to as, instead of CountryName, 'Lake CountryName' or 'A big glass crater' because of the sheer quantity of nukes dropped on them.

Ah, yes. There have been strange times, but this one is also good. One of my fondest strange times was when the SLAGlands was found guilty of godmoding for Granny Slag's excellent pies.

Yes, there have been some strange times, but that does not justify the forceful destruction of an entire nation and the mass murder of millions of innocents who happen to be ruled by an idiot.


Prime Minister Jaime Wolfe





OOC: Nah nah, I'm older than you!

the Warmaster wants only to destroy Wiggles and his clones, nothing more.

the Warmaster wants only to destroy Wiggles and his clones, nothing more.

And yet do you think you can accomplish this without the massed armies and navies some of your semi-allied nations have assembled? Invading with an army to get one person is a way to kill a lot more than one person.

it matters not, we must destroy wglles and his clones! we must!

it matters not, we must destroy wglles and his clones! we must!

Why? Why is this so important to you?

Robzor Mcginty rubbed his temples. His body shook, but he recorded this hologram in a firm voice.

"To the grand fleets of Mini Meihm, we beg a stand down of arms. Think, what are you really fighting for? What possible cause could there be for eliminating our presence in the area? We are both children of the gods here, please, be reasonable," Here Robzor took on more of a smug look," Warmaster of Death Spire, we welcome any rag-tag bunch of zombie pissants you may throw at us."

--End transmission--

Robzor Mcginty rubbed his temples. His body shook, but he recorded this hologram in a firm voice.

"To the grand fleets of Mini Meihm, we beg a stand down of arms. Think, what are you really fighting for? What possible cause could there be for eliminating our presence in the area? We are both children of the gods here, please, be reasonable," Here Robzor took on more of a smug look," Warmaster of Death Spire, we welcome any rag-tag bunch of zombie pissants you may throw at us."

--End transmission--

Reply:

Well, we enjoy violence and destruction, and for us, that is an adequate reasonm to destroy you. We also feel that the existance of this putrescent waste of oxygen and genetic material poses a threat toi the gene pool, that must be eliminated. And, as for us both being the Children of the Gods. Hah, My ass we are. We are the Terrans, more powerful than you might ever know or comprehend, our fleet will arrive in just under an hour, you had best be away when we do.

OOC: Well, I didn't expect this to have quite the reaction it did.

UP THE CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE.

That was the current headline of today. How did the media find things out so fast? Robzor had his suspicions that his secretary was an informant, he'd fire him later on.
The article read things like "Utterly senseless invasion of Paralax", "Meihmish fleet war criminals", "No enemy of this scale foretold", "Robzor Mcginty declines comment".

Robzor tried last one attempt to make peace with the new invaders.

-From the desk of Robzor Mcginty-

Please, please, we beg of you, turn your fleet around, we do not wish to be destroyed by you. Our nation simply feels that Mr. Wiggles did nothing to harm anyone, he just invited a man to dinner. Is that worth fighting, dying, and killing for? Don't you think you may look a bit more barbaric, just an eency-weency bit more warlike? If you do not turn your fleet around, then we request you show mercy, and let us call our forces back and evacuate as many civilians as we can. Just imagine this, our country as a whole is on it's knees begging you.

Be merciful,
The collected peoples of Martian colony 43

"Tell my brother to ready the fleet for evac and defencive fire." Robzor said to General Buff Whitlam.

OOC: Well, I didn't expect this to have quite the reaction it did.

UP THE CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE.

That was the current headline of today. How did the media find things out so fast? Robzor had his suspicions that his secretary was an informant, he'd fire him later on.
The article read things like "Utterly senseless invasion of Paralax", "Meihmish fleet war criminals", "No enemy of this scale foretold", "Robzor Mcginty declines comment".

Robzor tried last one attempt to make peace with the new invaders.

-From the desk of Robzor Mcginty-

Please, please, we beg of you, turn your fleet around, we do not wish to be destroyed by you. Our nation simply feels that Mr. Wiggles did nothing to harm anyone, he just invited a man to dinner. Is that worth fighting, dying, and killing for? Don't you think you may look a bit more barbaric, just an eency-weency bit more warlike? If you do not turn your fleet around, then we request you show mercy, and let us call our forces back and evacuate as many civilians as we can. Just imagine this, our country as a whole is on it's knees begging you.

Be merciful,
The collected peoples of Martian colony 43

"Tell my brother to ready the fleet for evac and defencive fire." Robzor said to General Buff Whitlam.

Reply:

We are a warlike people, public opinion means nothing to us. However, if your entire nation truly is begging us, we will allow you to evacuate whatever civilians you may in the time allotted, but if you are not gone by the time we have reached the planet, we will fire upon your vessels.

Further Transmission:

If you attempt to remove Mr Wiggles from the planet, you will be destroyed, no matter how many other civilians are on board those ships.

Robzor Mcginty was ready to start bawling.

Not only had his attempts to protect Paralax failed miserably, he'd also dragged a war unto them, but let's face it, Wiggles could probably bullshit his way out of it. Robzor had ordered his fleet brother Joezor to move whatever civilians he could to a more secure part of Paralax, where, this is very important now, they would continue as though nobody had declared them a protectorate and never mention this occurance agian, ever. The troops were coming home, after a few hours of standing around saying "Bring it on, we're here for the long haul!", and Robzor suggested Mr. wiggles have an extended holiday in Martian Colony 43.

-From the desk of Robzor Mcginty-

We acknoweledge your mercy, you have spared our lives, and we wish to ally with you, obviously not in your endevours to hunt wiggles, but generally, you know, helping out where we're needed.

Robzor Mcginty,
President of Martian colony 43

OOC: I'm going to officially apoligize to Paralax for doing this, honestly, we really didn't see Mini coming.
And to any older people, any advice on how *not* to screw myself over this bad again?

Robzor Mcginty was ready to start bawling.

Not only had his attempts to protect Paralax failed miserably, he'd also dragged a war unto them, but let's face it, Wiggles could probably bullshit his way out of it. Robzor had ordered his fleet brother Joezor to move whatever civilians he could to a more secure part of Paralax, where, this is very important now, they would continue as though nobody had declared them a protectorate and never mention this occurance agian, ever. The troops were coming home, after a few hours of standing around saying "Bring it on, we're here for the long haul!", and Robzor suggested Mr. wiggles have an extended holiday in Martian Colony 43.

-From the desk of Robzor Mcginty-

We acknoweledge your mercy, you have spared our lives, and we wish to ally with you, obviously not in your endevours to hunt wiggles, but generally, you know, helping out where we're needed.

Robzor Mcginty,
President of Martian colony 43

OOC: I'm going to officially apoligize to Paralax for doing this, honestly, we really didn't see Mini coming.
And to any older people, any advice on how *not* to screw myself over this bad again?


OOC: Yes, Don't try Threatening destruction of fleets and armies, when your nation is a few months old, People like me and Mini take great pleasure in stomping on young nations that do this... and yes we are both evil.. and love it

-From the desk of Robzor Mcginty-

What's this?

One of the Wiggle clones is already on our planet, it's possibly a clone, we don't know. He came a while back when we first invited him. Hopefully this doesn't mean an invasion on our soil. What we lack in ships we make up for in...um...moxy. You'll be sassed right back into the stone-age.

Robzor Mcginty,
President of Martian colony 43

And to any older people, any advice on how *not* to screw myself over this bad again?

Best advice would be not to step into wars where half the world is against you. However, if you really like standing up for the underdog, even smaller nations can secure some manner of superiority through quantity, not quality. If you RP development of more advanced technology than your likely opponents have, and have better training, et cetera, you can actually secure local superiority in an area. Of course, you can never win a war against a larger nation like Mini Miehn without a lot of luck, but remember that throughout history there have been incidents where a series of fairly small-scale military defeats have turned public support in a big country against war with a little country and forced a white peace. If you're up against someone good at RPing public opinion and actually caving in to it, then you might have a shot.

Or you could avoid war altogether.

OOC: Yes, Don't try Threatening destruction of fleets and armies, when your nation is a few months old, People like me and Mini take great pleasure in stomping on young nations that do this... and yes we are both evil.. and love it

OOC: To be fair, I wasn't declaring war, I was declaring protection. I thought it would be mostly the younger nations like myself who had threatened Wiggles that would be fighting me...Mini came out of nowhere.

Robzor Mcginty was ready to start bawling.

Not only had his attempts to protect Paralax failed miserably, he'd also dragged a war unto them, but let's face it, Wiggles could probably bullshit his way out of it. Robzor had ordered his fleet brother Joezor to move whatever civilians he could to a more secure part of Paralax, where, this is very important now, they would continue as though nobody had declared them a protectorate and never mention this occurance agian, ever. The troops were coming home, after a few hours of standing around saying "Bring it on, we're here for the long haul!", and Robzor suggested Mr. wiggles have an extended holiday in Martian Colony 43.

-From the desk of Robzor Mcginty-

We acknoweledge your mercy, you have spared our lives, and we wish to ally with you, obviously not in your endevours to hunt wiggles, but generally, you know, helping out where we're needed.

Robzor Mcginty,
President of Martian colony 43

OOC: I'm going to officially apoligize to Paralax for doing this, honestly, we really didn't see Mini coming.
And to any older people, any advice on how *not* to screw myself over this bad again?

OOC: Well, one good way is to expect a bigger nation to appear and be ready fotr that to happen. Either have large allies lined up as backup, or have a large fleet prepared to defend whatever you're defending. I won't slag him now that you backed off, it wouldn't be right, and he'd be able to ignore it anyway...

IC:

Reply:

If you wish to ally with us, then join the Galactic Empire, by doing so you will gain many allies, some that are much more powerful than we are. We will refrain from destroying you and Paralax from space since youhaveremoved yourselves from his defense.

-From the desk of Robzor Mcginty-

What's this?

One of the Wiggle clones is already on our planet, it's possibly a clone, we don't know. He came a while back when we first invited him. Hopefully this doesn't mean an invasion on our soil. What we lack in ships we make up for in...um...moxy. You'll be sassed right back into the stone-age.

Robzor Mcginty,
President of Martian colony 43


To President Mcginty:

Do not resist our Ghost Strike Team, and we will have no issues...

the Warmaster laughed,
"you insult me? now that my new fleet and army is here, i will give you an oppertunity to apologise, otherwiuse, i can, and will bear a grudge, one that will be costly to the lives of your military" the warmaster growled, but then decided that anger was not the best option
"Actually, allow one of mine elite squad to also hunt down wiggles, and we will be even, and i am also prepared to Cease all agressive action, and attempt top establiosh a more positive relasionship between our nations, please accept" the warmaster sighed, he was getting to old and to soft for this, but he was the eternal ruler of death spire, he would do his duty.