NationStates Jolt Archive

Greetings world!
I feel it is about time Lower Norway presents itself to the rest of the world. On this day in history, in a glorious action, we kicked out the good-for-nothing-all-on-welfare Northern Norwegians, and created our own, honourable nation - Lower Norway! A bastion of socialisme and democratic freedom. We are rich in natural resources like Oil, gas and salmon :)

However, ut has come to the attention of Lower Norway's fishing authorities that our world famous salmon has been mistakingly thought to be poisonous. It's not true! Do not listen to any research suggesting otherwise (Yes there is some 20-30 countries that have banned it but they don't know what they are talking about). It's perfectly healthy. Our own scientists have found that if you are over the age of 75, it's perfectly safe to eat our precious fish. The lead levels are the lowest it has been in years, and due to the gact that our Russian neighbours finally have cleaned up their nuclear waste, the salmon no longer glows in the dark. So, feel safe and confident that our fish is world class!
Buy now and get a discount on oil as well. Feel free to visit our beautiful nation, all are welcome!

Minister Kåre Sleipnes,
Ministry of Fish and Oil,
Constitutional Monarchy of Lower Norway

Long live the King!

we would like to buy 8 tons of salmon please...

We prefer Tuna. It is high in iodine, quicksilver, and serves as a delicious alternative to tofurky. As the president of our Tuna Cooperative always says:

" You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!"

best wishes,

Charlie

Snip.
This is very funny. You've a bright future ahead of you, I'm sure.

Hrstrovokia, of course, will continue to ban the import of Lower Norwegian salmon, however. The last case our customs officials examined melted while they were taking the readings.

New Nicksyllvania would be delighted to purchase your fish. Our people have been eating our native fish, so they should be able to easily stomach it.

We would like to offer a trade contract for 5 tons a month

Excellent! I'm happy to announce that we got enough fish for all of you :)
Our marvelous salmon can be stored for months without going bad, even in non-airconditioned warehouses in the third world.
Did I mention it can be used as an effective counter measure against invading enemies? I will personally see to that who ever buys the first ton will get a free salmon launchpod, free of charge!
Long live the King and the people of Lower Norway! And may the salmon still grase in our lush forrests (It's a bit funny that the national animal has to live in a forrest.. ;))

To: The Government of Lower Norway

We will help your nation, but only if you join The Northern Sushi Commonwealth Union Society. We will offer military protection and advice, but you will be required to trade some goods with our nation, and citizens must add on a small .25% sales tax to all items under $75. The nation must tell the NSDIA of all binding decisions prior to making them and all non-binding decisions after. The nation would have to recognize itself as a Protectorate of Northern Sushi also. You will be able to create your own internal laws, and will be able to have an unrevokeable embassy in Northern Sushi.

The Northern Sushi Dept. of International Affairs (NSDIA)

Greetings honourable leader!
Although our population is servile and submissive in their nature, we can not accept your offer of becoming a protectorate unless there are total equality among are two people.
So, I feel that furter bonding is necessary. I will arrange for a shipment of 10 tons of good storaged salmon to be sent to your nation as a token of friendship. If Northern Sushi likes it (or at least the fatalities are reasonably low) I hope we could get some of your sushi in return. I understand it hasn't quite the flavour and spark of our own fish, but it's nice with a change. In addition, every citizen of Northern Sushi must learn Lower Norway's national anthem, "Yes, we love our fish (and oil)" at school. It must also be performed at every major Lower Norwegian holiday. A list will soon be published containing these days. Nothing less will be accepted by our government! :D