NationStates Jolt Archive

The Shah now, his shamshir dripping with Shooban blood, began to strike, cutting one of the Shoobans at the legs, slicing them both off at the knee, before driving his sword through the chest of another.

"Goez ahid an' s'oot, mudda fugga!" one of the Shoobans taunted, and threw a large chunk of feces, narrowly missing Shaun's face.

The Shah now, his shamshir dripping with Shooban blood, began to strike, cutting one of the Shoobans at the legs, slicing them both off at the knee, before driving his sword through the chest of another.

"You bawsta'd!" a Shooban cried, lightly batting him with a thin twig. "Me'za goona kill youze!"

Shaun grabed both his SHT9 and IMP-2 and started shooting

A baby Shooban, clinging to its mother's back, suddenly exploded in a gory burst, its body parts splattering to the ground in a pool of crimson. The mother turned to run, before a hot bullet burrowed into her forehead and disintegrated her diminutive brain in a messy explosion that sprayed gray matter onto the ground.

The Shah spoke, "How dare you touch me!" Then, bringing his shamshir down, he sliced the already wounded shooban in half, then, decapitated another, before swinging around, disemboweling another shooban with a light cut, before swinging his shamshir up and slicing the upper body in half.

Shaun Empited both clips before he yelled "LEAVE!'

J.L. entered the scene, brandishing a golden scimitar. "How dare you guys start the fun without me," he said jokingly, waving his finger in mock disapproval, before splitting a Shooban in half vertically, diagonally, and horizontally, then decapitating three others and disemboweling and castrating a fifth.

Shaun Empited both clips before he yelled "LEAVE!'

"Noooooez, stoopid mo'won!"

"the motherfuckers jumped me and one bit my damn neck!" Shaun Said

The Shah had been whipped into a frenzy, hacking Shoobans apart at the waist, swinging his sword madly, decaptitating and splitting the heads of other Shoobans. He laughed as he drove his shamshir through the head of another, before pulling it out and impaling another on the point.

"the motherfuckers jumped me and one bit my damn neck!" Shaun Said

"Damn scum," J.L. said, only half-listening, as he was momentarily caught up in flaying a baby Shooban.

J.L. stabbed through a Shooban's forehead and pulled his arm back with such force that he tore its head off. He shook his scimitar, throwing the head off, hitting another Shooban in the face.

"shit man I wish I did not have to do that"

"shit man I wish I did not have to do that"

"They're just animals, Shaun," J.L. said, while casually splitting a baby Shooban's head into eight pieces with his scimitar.

"ANIMALS THAT MUST DIE!" Screamed the Shah as he sliced the limbs off a pair of child Shoobans.

"They're just animals, Shaun," J.L. said, while casually splitting a baby Shooban's head into eight pieces with his scimitar.

"No there not" Shaun said 'But now im going back in"

"ANIMALS THAT MUST DIE!" Screamed the Shah as he sliced the limbs off a pair of child Shoobans.

J.L. laughed heartily. "So true," he said, while grinding his scimitar into the lobe of an elderly Shooban.

"No there not" Shaun said 'But now im going back in"

"Ooh, noez you isn't!"

Several Shoobans surrounded him and tried tackling him to the ground.

Shaun gave them a huge boot and walked back in

Shaun gave them a huge boot and walked back in

A rather fat Shooban (a rarity, as most were deathly thin) tackled him to the ground, and began pummeling his derriere (sp?) with a rock, as two kid Shoobans began pulling his hair, and a girl Shooban gnawed on his ankle.

The Shah split one of the insubordinate Shoobans at the waist, "NEVER DISRESPECT YOUR MASTER VILE CREATURE!" He screamed, before using his war mace to collapse the other Shoobans' heads like accordions.

J.L. kicked the Shoobans off of Shaun, and then distracted them long enough for him to get back inside.

"mother fucker, They never act like this in Irondin" Shaun said

The guards locked the doors, so the Shoobans couldn't come in. "Here, let's take you to the doctor," they said. "Those bites could get infected."

"Thanks... Damn!" Shaun said

The Shah sliced the arms and legs off a tiny 8 year old Shooban, laughing as he poured gasoline on it. Smiling heavily, he lit a match, then threw it on the screaming Shooban before rushing back into the fray with his mace and shamshir readied.

J.L., too, hurried back inside, breathing heavily. "So, what should we do now?" he asked, cleaning himself off.

"well im not going out there thats for damn sheare" shaun said

The Shah continued on his Shooban killing spree, "SAUSAGE! Come get me you dirty animals!" he screamed as he sheathed his hand weapons and used his flamethrower to cover the aggrivated Shoobans in flame, sending them screaming and burning.

J.L. laughed, glanced out the window. The remaining Shoobans were ravenously eating the dead bodies, as well as the feces they had thrown.

"Damn right I'm not going out there," he said, with a slight shudder.

"man... shit... ow!" Shaun said

The Shah tossed a grenade concealed in a peice of steak into the midst of a group of Shoobans, then continued to spray flames at the Shoobans, who wildly ran around, setting other Shoobans on fire while the Shah emptied the tank of flamethrower fuel. He dropped the emptied flamethrower, then unholstered the USAS-12 on his back, firing 12 gauge shells at the Shoobans clustered together.

"man... shit... ow!" Shaun said

The doctor lightly applied an antiseptic solution to Shaun's wounds (which were minor), then bandaged them. "That should do it."

"ah Thanks doc" Shaun said

The Shah walked up to the last few Shoobans, shooting them quickly before walking back inside and speaking, "I think the Shooban problem has been exterminated."

"ah Thanks doc" Shaun said

He smiled. "No sweat, Marshal. Now, please enjoy the rest of the party."

Shaun walked back to the ballroom and sat back down

"So, what's the prognosis? Will you live?" J.L. asked, smiling, and gave Shaun a good-natured pat on the shoulder. "Just joking. So, would you like something to eat or drink?"

The Shah walked over to Shaun, "You gotta be careful with those vermin, let them get too close and they can cause major problems."

"I just wish I brout my IRS-1" Shaun said "but I would like some dinner"

The Shah walked up to the last few Shoobans, shooting them quickly before walking back inside and speaking, "I think the Shooban problem has been exterminated."

J.L. applauded. "Bravo, my friend, bravo!"

"I just wish I brout my IRS-1" Shaun said "but I would like some dinner"

"Sure," J.L. said, calling over a waiter. "What would you like?"

" A heart attack Burger" Shaun said

" A heart attack Burger" Shaun said

"You got it." The waiter left to tell the chef.

"Thanks" Said Shaun

"No problem. Anything else?"

"hmmm... nope" Shaun said

"Very well."

J.L. asked, "So, what do you guys want to do? Anyone here like movies? I own over 2,500,000 of them."

"hmmm got Back to the Furture?" Shaun asked?

"Of course! I have all three of them."

"you got the animated shows?" Shaun asked with a huge smile

J.L. nodded. "Absolutely."

"wow im impressed" Shaun said "but what douse everone else wana watch" Shaun asked

"I'm up for just about anything, so long as it's not pornographic," J.L. said.

J.L. asked, "So, what do you guys want to do? Anyone here like movies? I own over 2,500,000 of them."

Kimiko said, "Ooh! Ooh! Got Spirited Away?"

Kimiko said, "Ooh! Ooh! Got Spirited Away?"

J.L. nodded. "Yup."

"oh no Anime! somebody shoot me!" Shaun said

"What, don't like anime?" J.L. asked.

"nope, when ever some one sugests something I like I ask them to shoot me in the head" Shaun replied

"nope, when ever some one sugests something I like I ask them to shoot me in the head" Shaun replied

Kimiko said, frowning slightly, "That better be the case."

"nope, when ever some one sugests something I like I ask them to shoot me in the head" Shaun replied

"I see," J.L. said. "I love anime!"

He actually thought it was merely "okay," but didn't dare say so in front of the RALMers.

"here some Triva, its not" Shaun said

"Hm?" J.L. asked, raising an inquiring eyebrow.

"I see," J.L. said. "I love anime!"

He actually thought it was merely "okay," but didn't dare say so in front of the RALMers.

Kimiko nodded, thinking to herself, "Darned right it is."

She then said to Shaun, "Whatever do you mean?"

J.L. asked, "Anyone want some leftover peppermint cheesecake?"

"I hate anime... very much so, cant Stttttaaaaaaannnnnnnddddd it" Shaun said

"I hate anime... very much so, cant Stttttaaaaaaannnnnnnddddd it" Shaun said

J.L. recoiled, blinking in astonishment. I can't believe he said that, in front of the leader of RALM, of all people!

Shaun walked up to JL and whipered in his ear "Lets see her try something" He said

J.L. chuckled. "Careful what you say, Shaun." He asked again: "Anyone want some peppermint cheesecake?"

"No im wating for my heart attack burger" Shaun said

Ironically, the very second Shaun said that, the waiter returned with it. "Here you are, Marshal Churchman."

"ahh JL all be Busy for the next 20 Min" Shaun said with a huge smile

"I understand." While Shaun ate his meal, J.L. began eating an entire French silk pie, all by himself. He finished it within the space of five minutes.

"ohh... I can feel my artrares harding" shaun said

J.L. chuckled. "My friend, food was made to be unhealthy. The less healthy, the better it tastes. Well, unless it's decomposing, 50-year-old cheese swarming with fungus and maggots, but hey, you get the idea. I guess I should 'less nutritious' rather than 'less healthy,' huh?"

"ah that was good" Shaun said

"How about dessert?" J.L. asked.

"ah no im quite happy with what I had" Shaun said "but lets go watch back to the futrue"

"Sure thing," J.L. said. He took out a remote, pressed a button, and the wall opened up, revealing a massive, 40 ft. TV screen, with crystal-clear, extremely high quality image and sound. He inserted the DVD into the DVD player, turned on the speakers, and pressed Play.

"40Ft? man it would be fun to play video games on that" Said shaun

"40Ft? man it would be fun to play video games on that" Said shaun

"An excellent idea," J.L. said. "I own every video game console and over 99% of the video games ever made. After the movie, want to play something?"

"hmmm lets play Unreal Torunament" Shaun sugested

"All right," J.L. said. "What console is it for? I own so many games, I sometimes forget which consoles have which games, and vice versa." He chuckled.

"PC" Shaun said

"I have a computer lab with over 500 PCs," J.L. said. "They're among the fastest in the world, and each one has several thousand games on it. So, we can play multiplayer, if anyone wants to."

"all right that game is really fun with many peaple insed of dumb AIs who cant fight" Shaun said

J.L. chuckled. "So, shall we play it now, or after the movie?"

"hmmm... I think after the Moive" Shaun said

"All right," J.L. said.

On the screen, George McFly was being threatened by "Darth Vader."

from the Planet Vulcan!

J.L. laughed. "Anyone want some popcorn?"

"im fine, Thanks JL" said Shaun

"All right." J.L. opened a huge bag of cheddar popcorn, and being enthusiastically and ravenously gobbling large handfuls, spilling crumbs everywhere. The others looked at him. "What?"

Biff had just crashed his car into the Manure truck.

J.L. laughed uproariously. "Ha, ha, ha, ha, I love this part!"

"I wondered if any body but them moved shit with a truck like that" Shaun Said

J.L. laughed. "I don't know," he said.

"Hehehehe Marty's mom smokes and drinks" Shaun said

J.L. nodded. "Yep."

Soon, the credits were rolling.

"All right, who's up for some video games?"

"Lock and Load" Shaun said

"Cool, let's go."

J.L. led the guests to the computer room.

"ah now im in my World' Shaun said with a huge smile

"Me, too," J.L. said.

"lets play" Shaun said

Within seconds, everything was done loading. "All right, let's begin."

The RALMers entered the video gaming area, and joined in. Karl then said, to Shaun, "My friend, I could not help but hear your little comment earlier....you forget you are near the leaders of the Real Anime Liberation Movement, no?"

Kimiko then said, "I agree. I am in too good a mood to cause a ruckus, but I cannot let our honor go unsullied. Therefore, I challenge you to a game of Battlefield Vietnam. Best out of three rounds, map will be Quang Tri 1973."

"I've never played that game," J.L. said. "Do you get to kill commies in it?"

"I've never played that game," J.L. said. "Do you get to kill commies in it?"

Jake said, "Verily so. It reenacts the Vietnam War. Maps have either ARVN or US forces vs. the NVA or the Vietcong. I believe Quang Tri 1973 is an ARVN-on-NVA map. ARVN is sweet-they get semiautomatic sniper rifles, M21s, the Reds get Dragunovs and Mosins."

"Awesome, as soon as Shaun and I are done, I'll give that game a try," J.L. said.

"Awesome, as soon as Shaun and I are done, I'll give that game a try," J.L. said.

Jake then said, "Perhaps you should. And bring Shaun along-our delegation must defend our honor for his insult."

The Count continued walking around the ceiling. Funny. A Shooban lover getting attack by Shooban. he said to himself as he looked out of the window at Shaun. Then he continued walking back around.

Dawson continued talking to Linda about cars, guns, and swords. And a couple of his battle stories. One where he was shoot ten times and lived to fight another days. “Took five of those in the chest.” said Dawson. “Two were less then an inch from my heart. The Transylvanian body armor can‘t hold back an AP bullet.”

The Count jumped off of the ceiling, landing on his feet. He, Dawson and the K9 soldiers followed the others in the game room. “I want in that game then.” said JWolf to Jake. “Can’t let Shauny boy get away with calling me a dead man. Plus…I was a merc in the Vietnam War, working from the US forces.”

OOC: Sorry guys, I had phone line troubles.

The Count continued walking around the ceiling. Funny. A Shooban lover getting attack by Shooban. he said to himself as he looked out of the window at Shaun. Then he continued walking back around.

Dawson continued talking to Linda about cars, guns, and swords. And a couple of his battle stories. One where he was shoot ten times and lived to fight another days. “Took five of those in the chest.” said Dawson. “Two were less then an inch from my heart. The Transylvanian body armor can‘t hold back an AP bullet.”

The Count jumped off of the ceiling, landing on his feet. He, Dawson and the K9 soldiers followed the others in the game room. “I want in that game then.” said JWolf to Jake. “Can’t let Shauny boy get away with calling me a dead man. Plus…I was a merc in the Vietnam War, working from the US forces.”

OOC: Sorry guys, I had phone line troubles.

Linda then, listening to his stories, began to find the Colonel two things. He found that he was an interesting speaker, and he was knowledgable about swords, as she was knowledgable about firearms. She also found him to be slightly boastful, but definetly dedicated to showing her his good side.

She noted this, and thought, "Perhaps I could let down my guard a bit-after, we said, no hard feelings. Still....."

She then followed Dawson into the game room, where she then said, "I gotta say, you are very knowledgable. Tell me, that sword I had in Angola-I knew it was an heirloom my granddad got in the Second World War during Guadalcanal, but I had to blacken it for stealth purposes. But would you happen to know anymore about it?"

------

Jake then said, "You were in the 'Nam? Not bad. You'll find the game a bit different than real life, but then again, it is a game."

Karl, meanwhile, interjected, "Herr Count, you must be in excellent health, for I swear that is the second time you have jumped from the ceiling."

The Count continued walking around the ceiling. Funny. A Shooban lover getting attack by Shooban. he said to himself as he looked out of the window at Shaun. Then he continued walking back around.

Dawson continued talking to Linda about cars, guns, and swords. And a couple of his battle stories. One where he was shoot ten times and lived to fight another days. “Took five of those in the chest.” said Dawson. “Two were less then an inch from my heart. The Transylvanian body armor can‘t hold back an AP bullet.”

The Count jumped off of the ceiling, landing on his feet. He, Dawson and the K9 soldiers followed the others in the game room. “I want in that game then.” said JWolf to Jake. “Can’t let Shauny boy get away with calling me a dead man. Plus…I was a merc in the Vietnam War, working from the US forces.”

OOC: Sorry guys, I had phone line troubles.

J.L. looked duly impressed. "That's quite interesting," he said, with an appreciative nod. "You worked in 'Nam? I hoped you kicked some commie ass." He chuckled.

"Hmm hmm hmm, no angel born in-" Commisar of War Viktor Sokolov stopped humming suddently as he saw one of his Imperial Marines was looking questioningly at him.
"Well... yknow i was just..." the Commisar said sheepishly.
Sokolov was held up on his Mi-35 Hind, which had been circling the airport for hours waiting to land. Sokolov checked his pocketwatch.
"Cmon, can't you land this thing, i'm going to be late! Or at least blow up one of the choppers on the ground..."
"Comerade Commisar, if i engage one of the landed helicoptors it will be considered an act of war!" exclaimed the pilot.
"Sheesh, fine then..." Sokolov slumped back into his seat.

The helicoptor finally landed. Sokolov grabbed his suitcoat and cap from their hangar as he ran out of the Hind onto the airstrip.
"where's my M1025? I want my M1025!" The humvee was dropped off by a second Hind before it and the Commisar's personal Hind took off for Stukav.
"If Putnov was here, he would never beleve this..." said Sokolov, adjusting his sunglasses and jumping into the M1025.

The ride was long and bumpy, down the dirt airstrip and out onto the roads into the city. Sokolov passed the time by sharpining his calvary sabre.

{OOC: Stukav, did I invite you? I don't remember if I did.}

She then followed Dawson into the game room, where she then said, "I gotta say, you are very knowledgable. Tell me, that sword I had in Angola-I knew it was an heirloom my granddad got in the Second World War during Guadalcanal, but I had to blacken it for stealth purposes. But would you happen to know anymore about it?"

“Nope but I could find out more about it.” said Dawson. “That is if you want me to?” Then he though about it, the Count was in both World Wars. “Or we could ask the Count about it.”

Jake then said, "You were in the 'Nam? Not bad. You'll find the game a bit different than real life, but then again, it is a game."

“It will work. I will have to play as a human in the game. But if it was real life, the bad big wolfman would be free to cause havoc and chaos in ‘Nam.”

Karl, meanwhile, interjected, "Herr Count, you must be in excellent health, for I swear that is the second time you have jumped from the ceiling."

“I’m a vampire, I’m always in excellent health.” said the Count. “Unless that time I was shot full of silver. It took me a long time to get over that.”

J.L. looked duly impressed. "That's quite interesting," he said, with an appreciative nod. "You worked in 'Nam? I hoped you kicked some commie ass." He chuckled.

“One of the things I had to do there.” said the Count.

J.L. smiled. "Awesome. Are there any other historic wars you've fought in?"

“Any war you can read in a history book.” said the Count, almost in a cocky tone. “I’m not in those history book but my actions are. My fortune was took from the Roman and Greeks.”

“I sold myself to the highest bidder in all of those war. The American Civil War, work on the side of the Rebels.” he added. “World War II, work on the side of the Nazi then on the Allies side after Hitler order the death of fellow mutants.”

J.L. looked astonished. "That's awesome," he said, with a fascinated grin. "Truly awesome. Who knows, maybe you were even part of the RB civil war/coup d'etat that brought me to power?"

“Don’t know.” said the Count. “When was that again?”

"It was quite a few years ago," J.L. said. "I try not to think about it."

"Then I was not in it." said the Count. "Have not done a merc mission in a long time. Last time was during the Gulf War."

"Awesome," J.L. said, with a chuckle. "Sounds like you were in almost every war that was ever fought."

"That is correct, J.L." said the Count.

"Awesome," J.L. said.

“Yes, it is awesome.” said the Count. “I did get all of my money from being a merc. Or by stealing priceless treasures.”

"They better have paid you well," J.L. said. "Considering you can kill full-grown dinosaurs as easily as most people can tie their shoes, I'd say there's probably no living person better at fighting than you."

“I had a lot of practice.” said the Count. “I’m a dangerous man. Be happy I’m on your side.”

J.L. smiled. "Believe me, I am."

"Is that game you and Shaun playing going to end?" asked the Count.

J.L. nodded. "Soon, I think."

OOC: Damn phone line problems again. Couldn’t get on all day yesterday.

IC: “Oh…okay.” said the Count.

{OOC: This thread's about dead. Let's wrap this up soon.}

J.L. checked his watch. "Hot damn! It's time for the coronation/wedding! Come on, let's hurry to the throne room!"

“Okay.” said the Count. Him, Dawson, and the K9 soldiers heads to the throne room.

{OOC: This thread's about dead. Let's wrap this up soon.}

J.L. checked his watch. "Hot damn! It's time for the coronation/wedding! Come on, let's hurry to the throne room!"

OOC: This might be impolite (gravedigging, whatnot), but mgiht as well add resolution for the RALMers.

IC:

Kimiko then said, "Then let us go! We have a ceremony to attend to, after all."

The others nodded, and followed the Count and J.L. to the Throne Room.