Taldaan
21-12-2005, 19:01
Teh N1ght B3f0r3 Chr1stm4s!!111
(Anyone offended by Christmas may replace the word with other, more PC alternatives such as "Winterfest")
'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the board
No nation was stirring
No smiley was whored
The dreadnoughts were harboured
And peace filled the air
In the hopes that Saint Nicholas
Soon would be there
The n00bs were not n00king
Tucked up in their beds
While visions of clone armies
Danced in their heads
Dictators weren't purging
The hippies or Jews
And I settled down
For a long winter's snooze
When out on the lawn
I heard a loud noise
Was it burglars stealing
My Christmassy toys?
What a marvellous sight
Appeared in my view
An awesome st34lth sl31gh
With st34lth r31ndeer too
With a little old pilot
So lively and quick
I knew in an instant
It must be Saint Nick
Delivering presents
To national leaders
On his magical sleigh
Made from magical cedars*
For J.L., a pistol
For Sarzo, mince pies
For Dreadfire, coal
(Is that a surprise?)
I suddenly realised
With dark understanding
As his huge aeroplane
Made a vertical landing
I dashed down the stairs
My feet sliding in lube*
"OMG! One, one, one!
Santa Claus is a n00b!"
And there was the demon
On the fireplace mat
His coat trimmed with fur
Little bells on his hat
The red-clothed fiend cackled
Sounding insane
I drew a katana
With a mystical name
I thrust my blade forwards
The air seemed to part
My magical blade
Pointed straight at his heart
But it takes more than that
To slay such a creature
And I said many things
Far too graphic to feature
But then I remembered
Just how he could be slain
Just how to reduce him
To Santa Chow Mein
IGNORE cannon blasted
The red demon stumbled
His eyes stared in shock
As st34lth rud0lph crumbled
Then he took a step back
And leapt up the flue
"Merry Christmas to all
And I'll n00k all of j00!"
*sorry about the dodgy rhyming. But hey, you can forgive me, right? Its Christmas! :p
(Anyone offended by Christmas may replace the word with other, more PC alternatives such as "Winterfest")
'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the board
No nation was stirring
No smiley was whored
The dreadnoughts were harboured
And peace filled the air
In the hopes that Saint Nicholas
Soon would be there
The n00bs were not n00king
Tucked up in their beds
While visions of clone armies
Danced in their heads
Dictators weren't purging
The hippies or Jews
And I settled down
For a long winter's snooze
When out on the lawn
I heard a loud noise
Was it burglars stealing
My Christmassy toys?
What a marvellous sight
Appeared in my view
An awesome st34lth sl31gh
With st34lth r31ndeer too
With a little old pilot
So lively and quick
I knew in an instant
It must be Saint Nick
Delivering presents
To national leaders
On his magical sleigh
Made from magical cedars*
For J.L., a pistol
For Sarzo, mince pies
For Dreadfire, coal
(Is that a surprise?)
I suddenly realised
With dark understanding
As his huge aeroplane
Made a vertical landing
I dashed down the stairs
My feet sliding in lube*
"OMG! One, one, one!
Santa Claus is a n00b!"
And there was the demon
On the fireplace mat
His coat trimmed with fur
Little bells on his hat
The red-clothed fiend cackled
Sounding insane
I drew a katana
With a mystical name
I thrust my blade forwards
The air seemed to part
My magical blade
Pointed straight at his heart
But it takes more than that
To slay such a creature
And I said many things
Far too graphic to feature
But then I remembered
Just how he could be slain
Just how to reduce him
To Santa Chow Mein
IGNORE cannon blasted
The red demon stumbled
His eyes stared in shock
As st34lth rud0lph crumbled
Then he took a step back
And leapt up the flue
"Merry Christmas to all
And I'll n00k all of j00!"
*sorry about the dodgy rhyming. But hey, you can forgive me, right? Its Christmas! :p