NationStates Jolt Archive

Official Pwnage Government Message:

MassPwnage has always been about freedom of expression, and excessive amounts of sex, drugs and rock n' roll. Well... no, before sex, drugs and rock n' roll, there was sex, wine and ritual dance. But anyway, we would like to establish this, the following:

*MassPwnage does not adhere to any "morals". Morality is an entirely subjective concept and has no place in MP.

*The government of MassPwnage will not interfere with any individual's rights to stick any parts of his/her/its body into any place of his/her/its choosing, given that it does not interfere with the rights of anyone else.

*As a corollary, the government of MassPwnage will allow you to do anything with your own body as long as it does not interfere with the rights of anyone else. After all, its your body.

*MassPwnage will allow you to say or think what you please, whenever you please it. (As long as it does not interfere with the rights of anyone else.)

* "Anyone Else", shouldn't prevent you from practicing the above rights. Feel free to be selfish, we're quite liberal in our interpretations of what your rights are and as such, feel free to exercise them as you please.

That was an Official Message from the government of MassPwnage.

"Christ, no wonder your nation is such a back-ass-wards, corrupt, crime-ridden, Third World hellhole, a morally bankrupt, perverse, rancid cesspool festering with the sickness of Marxist-Leninist gangsterism. I guess I could sum things up by saying: your nation is about as liveable as a garbage dump!"

--Kaiser J.L.--

"Ah doesn't know, some garbage dumps I've been t'are mo'e than liviable, they is prackically a kin'dom"

--Dr. Hobo (or thats what he told our reporters)--

John Philips read his e-mail.

"So... they encourage suicide? At least they don't think there's anything wrong with it? Wow, that's pretty beat up."

From the Desk of the President

We don't know you.....(shudders)

Gordon Lew
President
Unified Peoples of Upper Xen

IC:

Also, a sudden spike in tourism by Xenizens occurs, as Amsterdam-seeker types attempt to cash in on this newfound declaration of "Unrestrained liberty (to quote the South China Morning Post)." The Xenizen Government quietly increases airport security; they don't know what will happen.

------------

The Real ALM issues, via Internet:

"The Pwnage Government sees fit to issue a babaric decree, where license is given for men and women to ravish and drug their neighbors of all classes and ages, in an orgy without end. Perhaps the Pwnage Government would reconsider this decree if a few riotous persons took advantage of this license and attacked it.

-Real Anime Liberation Movement Strike Committee"

OOC: Seriously, can do some kind of terror attack? They've been pretty quiet, the RALM, and I need some kind of foreign re-entrance before the Xenizens initiate their "Get Kimiko" plan.

"Christ, no wonder your nation is such a back-ass-wards, corrupt, crime-ridden, Third World hellhole, a morally bankrupt, perverse, rancid cesspool festering with the sickness of Marxist-Leninist gangsterism. I guess I could sum things up by saying: your nation is about as liveable as a garbage dump!"

--Kaiser J.L.--

"What did you do, swallow a dictionary?"

--President Vincent S. Harling--

"What did you do, swallow a dictionary?"

--President Vincent S. Harling--

"No, I had ice cream for dinner, actualy."

--Kaiser J.L.--

Imperial News Network Report

With word of the salacious "hippie freedoms" of MassPwnage leaking into the Militant Imperium's public consciousness, tourism to the country has spiked 400% since, with hundreds of people lining up at airports to visit the country.

"No, I had ice cream for dinner, actualy."

--Kaiser J.L.--

"Ahh, very nice, what flavor?"

--President Vincent S. Harling--

"Ahh, very nice, what flavor?"

--President Vincent S. Harling--

"Sneaker Doodles."

--Kaiser J.L.--

{OOC: http://www.kemps.com/products/ice_cream.shtml Scroll to the bottom and look under Special Edition Flavors}

From the Desk of the President

We don't know you.....(shudders)

Gordon Lew
President
Unified Peoples of Upper Xen

IC:

Also, a sudden spike in tourism by Xenizens occurs, as Amsterdam-seeker types attempt to cash in on this newfound declaration of "Unrestrained liberty (to quote the South China Morning Post)." The Xenizen Government quietly increases airport security; they don't know what will happen.

------------

The Real ALM issues, via Internet:

"The Pwnage Government sees fit to issue a babaric decree, where license is given for men and women to ravish and drug their neighbors of all classes and ages, in an orgy without end. Perhaps the Pwnage Government would reconsider this decree if a few riotous persons took advantage of this license and attacked it.

-Real Anime Liberation Movement Strike Committee"

OOC: Seriously, can do some kind of terror attack? They've been pretty quiet, the RALM, and I need some kind of foreign re-entrance before the Xenizens initiate their "Get Kimiko" plan.


ooc: In order for me to notice, it would have to be MASSIVE. I mean, MASSIVE. A regular jet plane or suicide bombing, i would discount as another nutjob.

Edit: Also, i just essentially allowed all anime in MP, so the RALM no longer has any grounds to attack me.

"Ah doesn't know, some garbage dumps I've been t'are mo'e than liviable, they is prackically a kin'dom"

--Dr. Hobo (or thats what he told our reporters)--

OOC: Heh.. Dr. Hobo is great.

The Amestrian Foreign Ministry advises that all it's hedonistic citizens to vacation in MassPwnage, where they will not be at risk of imprisonment for drug charges or sex crimes.

Mount Stronghold, Mirkana
General Remmol was reading through a list of recent messages regarding foreign issues. Apart from the latest on the Xharn-Usea Jason war, there were few things of interest. Until, that is, he discovered the Public Decree of Pwnage Freedoms.
"Hmm, interesting. Now, how do I get involved?"
Remmol said the question aloud. That attracted the attention of a few aides. To make things easier, Remmol put the decree on Big Screen #2.
"Well, it's not as if we care so much about that sort of thing," pointed out Admiral Fay Goramy, head of Mirkana's navy.
"Really, it's none of our business!" declared General Sanders, head of Law and Order.
Remmol agreed with these comments. He was about to go to the next issue, when a security guard spoke up.
"Umm, General, I have an idea."
"Yes, Corporal?"
"We could send camera teams to MassPwnage to film the... events happening there. Then we could sell the films."
"On the porn market?" asked the Admiral.
"I guess."
Remmol was impressed. The idea SOUNDED stupid, but it could actually make a tidy profit.
"Good idea." Remmol then sent an e-mail to the Department of Entertainment to implement the proposal. After hitting the "Send" button, he produced a small gold medallion in the shape of a light bulb. It was a "Smart Idea" medal, and while it wasn't hard to get, it was as much of an award as a Purple Heart. It also gave the bearer a 25% tax cut for the year - which was a lot in Mirkana, known for high taxes. Remmol pinned it on the soldier's breast.
"Go ahead and take the rest of the day off. You've earned yourself some rest."
The soldier was quite happy. Especially since it was 8:30 AM. He had been on duty for a mere 30 minutes.

OOC: I did this to show people something about Mirkana. We like good ideas. By giving such generous rewards for ideas like this, more ideas are encouraged. Remmol is actually an evil dictator.

OOC: Oh. Wow. My bad, man. In that case, the RALM will try another tactic, then, eh?

SIC:

The RALM Strike Committee (or Kimiko A. Moua, Karl von Esling, and Jake Featherston IV), after analyzing the facts (which consists of a few reports collected from J-Mods who beat up a few Xenizens that returned from MP very happy as they left Tokyo International), notes that anime is in fact, existent in MassPwnage, and in pretty good levels.

Kimiko Ayasugi quitely notes this as a personal victory. For her, it represents the spread of anime into a previously hostile quarter, and it also will probably weaken the Pwnageites in a frenzy of drugs and alcohol and STD's, what have you. Of course, she may be wrong, but meh.

She orders a standdown of RALM cells, and focuses instead on another plan....

======

IC:

A video emerges on the Internet, saying:

"The Real ALM Strike Committee has overheard some interesting news. It seems that in their declaration of license, there is goodness after all. For some sympathizers in the occupied lands of Upper Xen have reported anime to be plentiful now in MassPwnage, as a result of the new laws, or lack thereof. We find this pleasing to us. Therefore, we rescind our threat.

-RALM Strike Committee"

ooc: You might want to note that those have always been my laws, I'm just publicly stating them.

Anime just simply isn't popular in MassPwnage, that's all. After all most people are too busy getting high and watching Sponge Bong Hemp Pants.

ooc: You might want to note that those have always been my laws, I'm just publicly stating them.

Anime just simply isn't popular in MassPwnage, that's all. After all most people are too busy getting high and watching Sponge Bong Hemp Pants.

OOC: I get the last part, but there are some animes that seem to be only enjoyed with lots of weed, that's my experience, they might get those.

Any restrictions on foreigners selling drugs in MassPwnage?

ooc: Of course not, but most people want to BUY drugs in MP. My multi-trillion dollar "pharmeceutical" industry releases the best quality intoxicants available, including ones that are found exclusively in MP?

ooc: Of course not, but most people want to BUY drugs in MP. My multi-trillion dollar "pharmeceutical" industry releases the best quality intoxicants available, including ones that are found exclusively in MP?

OOC: Oh, believe me. Both Zhang-Sakura and the KSC Corporation would be willing to export tons of "recreational pharmaceuticals." All top quality, all with variants unique to UX.

The following drugs offered by the Xenizens are all ex-combat stimulants (the first three) and Xenizen versions of various street drugs, enhanced by the addition of all kinds of other Borderworld chemicals.

IC:

In response to the reaffirmation of freedoms by MassPwnage, Zhang-Sakura PharmaCo and Lew Brothers Druggists, Ltd. have approached the Pwnage government for the right to export approximately USD$100,000,000,000 worth of "vellocet," "Spank," "Blue Streak," and to become the exclusive suppliers of local Xenizen variants of GHB, Marijuana, Heroin, and Cocaine.

KSC Corporation, on instructions from Kimiko A. Moua, has made an offer to try and outbid the Xenizens by offering an offer to sell USD$400,000,000,000 of cocaine and heroin, and to supply all the opiates MassPwnage could want.

OOC: You can ignore this, I just want to have a little fun.

IC:

We have noticed that some of your citizens have allowed themselves to become experients for our nation. Therefore, with 100,000 of them coming into our borders after hearing we would give them some weed, we will set off a nuclear explosion in the height of their high just for our own fun.

Thank you.

P.S.

Besides, its their own right to do whatever they want.......and we love seeing things go boom...

MP Pharmaceuticals Corporation:

In response to The Real ALM:

We have enough cocaine and heroin from Generic Empire and from our domestic sources.

To Zhang Sakura:
Under the Table:

Hmm... these designer drugs seem to interesting. Sell them, but, we wish to freely distribute our designer drugs, Liberty and Bubble Dum in Upper Xen as well as the 100 billion you're offering us now.

Gyrobot heard of the decree and told his wife to pack their bags, write their wills in the event that both die from OD or AIDs and make sure everything was set. It was time to enjoy freedoms that isnt heard of in Roach Busters. Meanwhile his son was sent off to the Bahamas for a nice holiday. He sent in his note: "Dont try to start another international incident again, like what you did in Germany.". Back at home, Airlines, tourist agencys and all sorts of travel groups were flocking to capitalise on the effort. It was truely the unofficial spring break and god who knows what will happen after spring break begins.

Private letter from Emperor Fat Monkey 13, Imperial City, Monkey 13 City, Potty 5

“Glad to hear another nation sees that morality is nonexistent.”

OOC: KSC Corporation is an RALM front, so you may want to edit your snub.

SIC:


Xenizen Drug Laws are much harsher than yours, as you are aware. You would have to speak to any number of government men to sell the drugs, and they want proof these won't hurt the populace. Barring that, you can risk smuggling them in via Triad groups.

We can sell them for you, and market them as a legit pharmaceutical; we have the resources to make the appropriate reports. Otherwise, you will have to risk red tape or outright intervention by National Police. And they have the power to shoot drug dealers.

As for the USD$100,000,000,000, that was the estimated worth of our cargo. But we willing be willing to "insure" half of the cargo, to send it to MassPwnage. Unless this is not acceptable to you.

Please respond if you have any further questions.

Carl Zhang
CEO
Zhang-Sakura Corp.

Jackie Lew
CEO
Lew Brothers Druggists, Ltd.

Public Announcement

100,000 Mass Pawnagians were kiled instantly and painfully when a 10 Mega-Ton Nuclear Blast was set off directly near them. Four, actually. We enjoyed the show and laughed as they smoked their last blunt.

Thank you and good night.

PS.

They all have written wills leaving everything they own to us. Further, they add it was their...choice.

OOC:

*Jumps up and laughs insanely* WOOHOO!

The Rouge State of Vul Applauds this government in it's quest for freedom. As a gesture of support, the Vul government is providing tourism ads for this nation.