NationStates Jolt Archive


Blood Moon Goblins
18-12-2005, 02:51
"Hallo, hallo, hallo, dis are da firs' inter-nashun-all broad-cast of da Goblin Media Corp-ora-shun! We bring dis show ta joo live around da wurld from Gundabad, capitol of da Blood Moon kingdom! Fer joor viewing pleasure we have da national leauge Goblinball games direct from da capitol. Dis week is da Nowhere Kneebiters against da Gundabad Boomers, last years na-shunal champ-yons!"
High on Gundabads northern slopes, angled so that the sun would shine directly in the eyes of the opposing team, sat the Gundabad Goblinball Stadium, a sturdy affair build out of the living rock of the moutnainside. The floor of the arena was fairly standard, although it and the walls were covered in scorchmarks, bits of shrapnel and the occasional blood spatter or chunk of bone. About thrity feet from the floor of the arena the first row of bleachers was carved from the same material as the arena, and only differed from the arena itself in that it had fewer scorch marks and the blood spatters were closer together.
The Kings box was directly on the Arena floor, although it was heavily reinforced with bulletproof glass backed by steel bars. It did have ports in the glass so that various objects of varying bluntness could be hurled onto the field, as Goblinball just wasnt Goblinball without being able to throw something at the players.


Nerk glared down the field at the opposing teams runners, adjusted his steel helmet for the final time, said a short prayer, and crouched to receive the intitial rush.
Around him similar pre-game rituals were taking place as Goblins adjusted the bits of armour around various pieces of their anatomy. The two blockers, in full plate, tightened the straps on their large shields and scuffed the ground for traction.
A small, round, metallic object flies about ten feet into the air, over the heads of the blocking team as the twelve Goblins on the opposite side rush forward. There are no rules, Goblins dont generaly understand long words like "foul" very well, aside from "Get the ball to the other side", and usualy the referees just let fights sort themselves out.
The blockers, selected for their height and weight, moved suprisingly quickly to stop the other teams runners, the 'lightweight' Goblins whose job was to get the ball to the other goal, but were met by the other teams blockers, soon a small brawl ensued and both teams were left without defence.
The entire arrangement was rather pointless though, becuase the ball exploded on impact.
The crowd groaned as the surviving blockers picked themselves up while those that couldnt were dragged away. Blockers tended to have short careers.
Goblinball is possibly the only ball game where the players wear metal armour and use an explosive ball.
A new ball was secured and placed in the middle of the field while the Red team was docked one point for losing the ball. After the round of taunting from the crowd died down the referee blew the whistle again.
This time Nerk was at the head, snatching the ball and using one of the opposing blockers as a ramp, he quickly jumped over the main melee and fled for his life towards the Red goal. Around the halfhalfline Nerk realized something was wrong.
His thoughts might be explained as such:
1. Nobody is chasing me.
2. I seem to have left part of my foot behind
Many. Why is this ball warm and twitching?
Lots. What is dripping down my arm?
He looked down.
The mildly alarmed features of one of his fellow Blue teammates stared up at him, one of the throwers (a career even shorter than the Blockers, usualy) as he recalled.
Nerk looked back at the Blue goal, just in time to see the Red team cross it, but lose half of their points because one of their players had brought a weapon into the arena.
Nerk lost conciousness at this point, mostly due to blood loss, but also because the Blue supporters were throwing rocks at him.
Goblinball is played like this:
Two teams (sometimes more, but not in official matches and only on days starting with T) attempt to get a ball filled with unstable explosives into the opposite teams goal.
From there on in rules are usualy up to the arenas owner.
The most popular version uses a team of twelve, two Blockers (who attempt to stop the other teams runners), two throwers (who throw the ball if needed), four Fighters (Who act as a sort of distraction, trying to get other teammembers into a fight) and four Runners (Who attempt to get the ball into the other teams goal)
Points are scored like this:
6 points for running the ball into the other teams goal
4 points for runnning the ball into the other teams goal while retaining at least %50 of your body mass
3 points for throwing it in
1 point for running the ball into the opposing goal while retaining less than %50 of your body mass.

Teams usualy wear armour, especialy the blockers who tend to get exploded at alot, runners wear lots of side/arm armour, but little elsewhere.
The crowd is usualy protected by being at least twenty feet above the field, or not at all. Goblinball purists say that this adds to the excitement of the game.

There arent many human Goblinball teams, mostly because Humans are usualy somewhat reticent to run down a field holding an unstable high explosives, but also becuase the Goblin teams are usualy more vicious due to the fact that Goblins dont assume any rules, while Humans seem to think that things like "Do not set fire to your opponents" are a givin.
Silly pinkskins.

Of course, any Human teams are welcome to play. Goblins LIKE to play against Humans. They taste better.
After the unfourtunate demise of the runner Nerk the reserves were called in and a time out was called while the players remaining on the field were scrapped up. Popcorn and pigs were served and the latest craze, Coca-Cola (which was technically toxic to Goblins when ingested, but was popular anyway) was served up in large amounts.
Finnaly, the teams lined up again and the referee re-appeared with a new ball.
This time the Blue's caught the ball. The Fighter Lhuur was briefly stunned and somewhat confused by this turn of events but the sharp sensation he received as an enemy blocker tackled him brought him back to his senses. He promptly removed his spiked helmet and jammed it into the point where the Blockers neck guard didnt quite meet his shoulder plates. The blocker stopped dead, but Lhuur was carried several yards by his momentum. A few nuerons kicked into life and broadcast a warning through his brain.
There was no time to remove the typos.
Lhuur took the only course of action that wouldnt result in his adding to the stadiums colour and hurled the ball with all his strength, whereupon it struck the still-standing blocker, flew ten feet into the air, came back down and rebouded off the aforementioned blockers skull. By the meerest chance Physics appeared to be away at the moment and the ball zoomed down the field into the Red goal, where it exploded, shooting fragments of metal into the air and killing the last remaining example of the Blue-Footed Gundabad Idiot Bird.
The crowd went slightly more wild at this point and threw fruit instead of rocks for a short time.

More later :P)
Blood Moon Goblins
18-12-2005, 19:24
19-12-2005, 02:30
(OOC: hey great to see you back BMG, I've always wanted to RP with you but how would I get a team into Goblinball?)
Blood Moon Goblins
19-12-2005, 04:22
Its good to be back :)
Feel free to jump in as either team, Im not picky.)