NationStates Jolt Archive


The Freudotopian Fear Storefront.

Freudotopia
13-12-2005, 21:18
For over fifty years, the chief export of Freudotopia has been...Fear. Now we are making Fear available to any and all nations that want some. It's dead useful. Use it to drive your enemies into submission without using weapons. We actually don't produce our own weapons in Freudotopia, because we only need Fear to conquer most small nations. So here we go: the many kinds of Fear.

Deep, Cloying Fear ($5 million per metric ton)
You can't think straight. Your hands start to tremble. Your heart flutters, and you ponder running away like a little girl.

Gut-Wrenching Panic ($10 million per metric ton)
You piss yourself. Your body convulses like crazy. You sweat buckets. You cannot function like a normal human being. You run away like a little girl.

Utter Terror ($15 million per metric ton)
You shit yourself. You gibber like a moron. Your brain is a lump of grey crap. Your only thought is to die quickly. You run away like a little girl, but this time you squeal like one too.

Pure Dread ($30 million per metric ton)
You dissolve into your component molecules.

Act now and get one metric ton of each for only $60 million. Orders will be dispatched as soon as payment is confirmed.
Generic empire
13-12-2005, 21:20
We'll take 100,000 tons of each.

Can we use this if we want a refund?
Sarzonia
13-12-2005, 21:37
I'll take one million tons of Utter Terror. Money wired upon confirmation.

Could be useful as a chemical/biological weapon. *Imagines AMF running away like a little girl, squealing in panic at the sight of my navy.* ;)

Just kidding AMF. :p
Roman Republic
13-12-2005, 21:54
The Fatherland wants to purchase 100,000 tons of Pure Dread .

Total: $3 Trillion USD
Mondoth
13-12-2005, 22:12
Mondoth condemns your nation for:
() Seelign Nuclear weapons
() Selling Biological Weapons
(X) Selling Chemical Weapons
()Selling slaves
()Attacking Mondoth (Or an Ally)
() a Flagrant Disregard for International Law
In response, Under Mondothian Foreign Policy We are
(X) Instituting an EMbargo on Trade from Your nation
()Enforcing a Military Blockade
()Begining unrestricted SUbmarine Warfare against ships flying your flag
()Dispatching a Naval Task Group
()Dispatching an Invasion fleet
() Performing a Tactical Strike on your Capital
() Contributing to your plate glass export industry

Have a pleasant day
<Seal of the Mondothian Ministry of International Affairs>
Sarzonia
13-12-2005, 22:30
Mondoth condemns your nation for:OOC: I don't think it's a good idea to bring these back. If I remember correctly, they're considered spam.
Camel Eaters
14-12-2005, 01:38
Instead of buying FEAR! We'd like to market a new type to Freudotopia. You see, we eat people. And this causes fear wherever we tread. Such as Buchiana or New Zealand. The whole inhabitable Earth and Canada even. So yes, we present:

The Fear of God:
A gibbering insane wreck thats existence is defined by their own fear of being killed and eaten. So much fear that the possessor of this fear becomes like a God before them. Also good for motivating students.
Doomingsland
14-12-2005, 02:01
We'll take 200,000 of each. *imagines Sarz running away in terror, squealing like a little girl for no apparent reason*

:)
Freudotopia
14-12-2005, 14:36
We'll take 100,000 tons of each.

Can we use this if we want a refund?

NO! Even if you did, it wouldn't work. We don't feel Fear. But anyway, here's your order.

$ 6 trillion. That's a whole fucking lot of cash. I ship order! You pay me!
Freudotopia
14-12-2005, 14:38
I'll take one million tons of Utter Terror. Money wired upon confirmation.

Could be useful as a chemical/biological weapon. *Imagines AMF running away like a little girl, squealing in panic at the sight of my navy.* ;)

Just kidding AMF. :p

It's neither chemical nor biological, you fool! It's just Fear!

Anyway, your order comes to $15 trillion. Your Fear has been shipped, and we await your payment.
Freudotopia
14-12-2005, 14:41
The Fatherland wants to purchase 100,000 tons of Pure Dread .

Total: $3 Trillion USD

Pleasure doing business with you. Your Fear has been shipped, and we await payment.
Freudotopia
14-12-2005, 14:46
Mondoth condemns your nation for:
() Seelign Nuclear weapons
() Selling Biological Weapons
(X) Selling Chemical Weapons
()Selling slaves
()Attacking Mondoth (Or an Ally)
() a Flagrant Disregard for International Law
In response, Under Mondothian Foreign Policy We are
(X) Instituting an EMbargo on Trade from Your nation
()Enforcing a Military Blockade
()Begining unrestricted SUbmarine Warfare against ships flying your flag
()Dispatching a Naval Task Group
()Dispatching an Invasion fleet
() Performing a Tactical Strike on your Capital
() Contributing to your plate glass export industry

Have a pleasant day
<Seal of the Mondothian Ministry of International Affairs>

A Snide and Sarcastic Reply from the Ministry of State:

We are ignoring your puny attempts at form letter writing. We shall continue with our endeavor despite your meddling. It will take more than that to stop us! World domination will be ours!

Have a pleasant and restful day,

Franz Gottspiel, Deputy Secretary to the Secretary of the Deputy Minister of State.
Freudotopia
14-12-2005, 14:48
Instead of buying FEAR! We'd like to market a new type to Freudotopia. You see, we eat people. And this causes fear wherever we tread. Such as Buchiana or New Zealand. The whole inhabitable Earth and Canada even. So yes, we present:

The Fear of God:
A gibbering insane wreck thats existence is defined by their own fear of being killed and eaten. So much fear that the possessor of this fear becomes like a God before them. Also good for motivating students.

We will consider your suggestion. If Freudotopian Fear, Incorporated decides to market your product, you will receive a discount and a free T-Shirt.

--Yours Truly,

Edelbert Humphrey, Office of Marketing and Business Relations, FF Inc.
Freudotopia
14-12-2005, 14:50
We'll take 200,000 of each. *imagines Sarz running away in terror, squealing like a little girl for no apparent reason*

:)

Wonderful doing business with you. Your Fear has been shipped, and we expect payment to the order of $12 trillion. Have a pleasant day.
Drexel Hillsville
14-12-2005, 15:24
What form is this fear in? A gas? A liqid?

How do you suggest transporting it to the battle feild?

Here's a suggestion-
Paranoia:
Enemies think that you are around every corner. they become suspicious of each other and their allies. If used enough then the enemy will fire on each other. Troops tire because they will always be on patrol.
Freudotopia
14-12-2005, 21:21
Fear is neither liquid, solid, nor gas. It's just Fear. When you have Fear, you know how to use it in a battle. Paranoia is regarded by Freudotopian Fear Inc. as being a cheap substitute for genuine Fear.
Sarzonia
14-12-2005, 21:25
It's neither chemical nor biological, you fool! It's just Fear!

Anyway, your order comes to $15 trillion. Your Fear has been shipped, and we await your payment.*wired* Happy spending. :)