NationStates Jolt Archive

In the news, Supreme Forever Ruler, His Satanic Majesty Mad Dave, of the Armed Republic of Mad Poodle Eating Dave anounced to the world today (to the puzzled surprise of any credible scientist), that his country now possesed Nuclear Capacity! Mad Dave screamed this from his balcony at the news cameras. He went on to say "YES!!!! We have nukes! And we hereby declare war on The Indomitable Borderlands of The Grendels, The Kingdom of Gelth, The Holy Melons of The Twin Peaks and possibly Nanny, if she says I can. But she might not, so I might not declare war against her. But all the other people we do.......... In fact I declare War against THE WHOLE WORLD INCLUDING PLACES THAT DON'T EXISTS YET!!! HA! Dave then randomly selected a pesant to be put to death and retired for the evening. Whether he plans to carry out his plan is unknown."

We recommend he be sent to an institution.

Don't waste your breath...reported.
MPED, read ALL the stickies on how to rp properly. This is Godmoding, because there's no way a new nation, or any nation, can conquer the entire world.

"Mental Health Doctors Shot at Border. Emperor Dave's live apology message dissolved into a treatise about his toenails."

-UN News Service

OOC: Dave isn't trying to conqour the world, he's insane. He has one nuke, and it's pretty small.

In the news, Supreme Forever Ruler, His Satanic Majesty Mad Dave, of the Armed Republic of Mad Poodle Eating Dave anounced to the world today (to the puzzled surprise of any credible scientist), that his country now possesed Nuclear Capacity! Mad Dave screamed this from his balcony at the news cameras. He went on to say "YES!!!! We have nukes! And we hereby declare war on The Indomitable Borderlands of The Grendels, The Kingdom of Gelth, The Holy Melons of The Twin Peaks and possibly Nanny, if she says I can. But she might not, so I might not declare war against her. But all the other people we do.......... In fact I declare War against THE WHOLE WORLD INCLUDING PLACES THAT DON'T EXISTS YET!!! HA! Dave then randomly selected a pesant to be put to death and retired for the evening. Whether he plans to carry out his plan is unknown."

If you are serious about RPing here, read the sticky of Euroslavias series of Helpful Hints at the top of International Incidents. If you have anymore questions feel free to telegram me, Zatarack, or Tarangambadi.

OOC: If Mad Dave is really insane (the post does hint that what Dave says may be untrue) then it is not godmoding, just the crazy ramblings of a lunatic.

OCC: Thank you. Mad I say, he's MAD!

Whew. For a minute I thought you were dragging my region into this.:mp5:

Force Commander James Ackvick notes the commotion going on from the country of Mad Poodle Eating Dave, and sees the crazy dictator doing his newscast from his main office, outside. Ackvick rolls his eyes, mutters something about corrupt leadership, then orders up one of his weapons satellites to lock onto his position.

Moments later, a large beam of energy strikes the ground where the crazy dictator is making his speech, incinerating everyone within a thirty meter radius. When the beam stops, a deep cylindrecal crater, and nothing else within the crater area is left.



*Rolls eyes* ;)

OK, I'm not being completely serious, unless you want it to be. :D

OCC: No, he just does this every so often. IC: We found an ounce of plutonium in an old sub on the beach. He stuck it in a pencil case and threatened to throw it across the room. sigh.

Leto,
Head Nurse

OCC: Thank you. Mad I say, he's MAD!

OOC: However, for a new Nation to pull a nuke out of the air without first RPing how it came into existence is godmoding... In other words, if crazy Dave does want nukes he has to RP getting them first before he can go off on world conquest...

What "weapons satellites"? Who's the crazy one now?

OCC: See pencil case above.

What "weapons satellites"? Who's the crazy one now?

Look bub, I'm a military dictatorship of a country, with a population of 1.5 billion. Call it one of the perks of being a bigger nation. ;)

How? 1.5 billion would take up a lot of other funding, like simple food costs. Where are you going to get funding for weapons satellites?

Mad Dave attempts to eat Militia Enforced State ambassador!

He was foiled in the attempt when his nurses grabed him and draged him off. The "government" has made a formal apology.

Part from the sales of weapons, and part from the fact that most of the buisnesses are state-owned (as there is no other way for private enterprise to work with a 100% tax rate). :)

As well, the MES also has Near-future technology that they are selling to reduce oil usage, such as Hydrogen Combustion Engines, and Pulse-Detonation aircraft engines.

Milita, my military budget is more than 3 times your size, I have a 900 million person population, and I'm a democracy with a "Powerhouse" economic rating.

WTF, mate?

Anyhow, orbital weapons platforms are expensive investments, but give you an unbelievable tactical edge in war.

Oh well lad dee da. Some of us happen to like coal. And besides, getting slaves to fan you in summer is fun.

Hmm. Looks like a good place to hide some of those destroyed "infected" civilians. We'll just dump them in the fields of this new republic. Just don't let anyone go near the burning pyres. You don't want to be exposed to a nasty re-animation virus, do you?


*Imports some 20,000 incapacitated/destroyed re-animates*
ETA: 2 weeks, via Airlifts.
400 Personnel will carry out the destruction of these bodies.
We're sure a republic with a mentally unstable leader won't mind the undead too much.

LW

Milita, my military budget is more than 3 times your size, I have a 900 million person population, and I'm a democracy.

WTF, mate?

Anyhow, orbital weapons platforms are expensive investments, but give you an unbelievable tactical edge in war.

Hmm...that is true. But if the US can afford to make Space Stations, spy sattelites, and stealth bombers, then I SHOULD be able to afford weapons sattelites, as my population is 3X that.

As well, as the aforementioned pulse-detonation engines, those are used as an alterative rocket engine, as it can do it much more efficiently, and using a much smaller rocket. And if I read the details right and understood the technology, then I presume it could work in space, as it uses explosions, rather than moving parts, which would be useable in space.

Are they edible?

Yes, the carcasses are organic, and therefore edible to some lifeforms.
We haven't tried consuming the flesh of solanum-positive corpses. That would be silly. We might get tummy aches. Or go comatose, and then arise minutes later as a cannibal cadaver.
By all Means, eat them. Just, after we leave, or in your own homes.

LW

I want a real nuke. And I want it.... blue. And I want it NOW! NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!


Dave

Hmm...that is true. But if the US can afford to make Space Stations, spy sattelites, and stealth bombers, then I SHOULD be able to afford weapons sattelites, as my population is 3X that.

As well, as the aforementioned pulse-detonation engines, those are used as an alterative rocket engine, as it can do it much more efficiently, and using a much smaller rocket. And if I read the details right and understood the technology, then I presume it could work in space, as it uses explosions, rather than moving parts, which would be useable in space.

I'm fairly sure that the U.S. doesn't have dozens of orbital anti-missile lasers or rail guns, do they?

Or hypersonic bombers.

Or 1 kilometer long warships.

Or dropships.

Or...you get my point.

Here, I have one. *Hands a small blue box with radioactive symbols on it*

MPED is hereby declared awesome by me and all people criticising him are obviously pricks. Long live Dave!

-This has been an ambiguously OOC post

Hmm. Looks like a good place to hide some of those destroyed "infected" civilians. We'll just dump them in the fields of this new republic. Just don't let anyone go near the burning pyres. You don't want to be exposed to a nasty re-animation virus, do you?


*Imports some 20,000 incapacitated/destroyed re-animates*
ETA: 2 weeks, via Airlifts.
400 Personnel will carry out the destruction of these bodies.
We're sure a republic with a mentally unstable leader won't mind the undead too much.

LW

Why don't you send the deadies up in a great big ICBM and then nuke them?

YES!!!!! ACEPTANCE AT LAST!!!

Dave

How you you give some one like Dave radiation? Jerk

"hands back box"


Leto
Head Nurse

Large Chinook chopper arrives, dumps some 150+ bodybags, 14 specialists. The specialists set up a command post and set fire to 30 of the bags. Operation "Grilled Ghoul" underway.

LW

I apologise to all those wishing to insult his Satanic Majesty Dave, but it's his bed time. Dave will be back as soon as he can.

Why don't you send the deadies up in a great big ICBM and then nuke them?

Nonsense. Why do that to corpses? These are corpses. Just dead bodies. Nothing more. I assure you. Why would we destroy corpses with ICBM's? They're harmless, I tell you, harmless.

LW
*4 Chinooks arrive, hundreds more specialists and bodybags are dumped, burning pyres are all over one square mile of the suburbs of Dave's capital*

Mr. Dave,

We at Pale Rider Arms would like to open your eyes to the joys of chemical and biological weapons. These devices cause considerably less collateral damage than nuclear arms, and are much more entertaining to watch. Enclosed for your consideration is a gerbil with a cold.

Yours
Daniel Quetzal
CEO of Pale Rider Arms
Regent-Elect of Otagia

OOC EDIT: Bloody hell, wrong account. Be a dear and pretend this was posted by Otagia, won't you?

What's amazing to me is that people are mobilizing military forces against and attempting to make weapons deals with one mentally disturbed guy in an institution. Sad, truly.

-This has been a critical OOC post made while considering the merits of actual involvement in the matter

*Gives the small blue box to Mad Dave, and makes sure it's facing the right way* Here you go. *Presses a detonator* *Claymore blows him up in his face* :p:rolleyes:

The moderator stands "Gentle persons, when is the next budget session? With lunatics like these running around we need an infinitefold increase in military spending"

"unknown unfortunately" said the minister of the interior "though more funding WILL come"

ooc: military budget is $0

I'm not sure if this even belongs in II.
~Random worker at the Czardaian Foreign Office

GREAT SATANIC EMPEROR DAVE, I HEREBY BOW TO YOUR INFINITE MAJESTY! SPARE MY LIFE AND I WILL SERVE THEE UNTO DEATH! *etc.*
~Yl'zed Pflygna Z'Schkottz, founder of the newly formed Cult of Dave which met the required 5-member quota and was promptly forgotten about by the government, or lack thereof.

[ooc:] This is almost as funny as the auction of Nathi's underwear... :p well anyway, it could make an interesting RP if it was a bit more detailed.

OOC: *debates whether or not to end this sillyness with a tinfoil death-ray attack*

Now just to dig up the post where I tried to use this weapon...

Uhh, so those bodybags. One of them opened and walked away, after biting a few of our personnel. Nothing big, just one re-animated, contagious, viral cannibal corpse on the loose.
We're sure everything will be fine.
The pyres continue to burn.

Don't waste your breath...reported.
MPED, read ALL the stickies on how to rp properly. This is Godmoding, because there's no way a new nation, or any nation, can conquer the entire world.

:rolleyes:

Mad Dave announces "Death to Doctors!!!". Speaking to his loyal hordes of followers, His Satanic Majesty Mad Dave I caused the mob to rise up a slay all Doctors and Nurses in the small, Zurich based country. Dave finished his eleventh coup by promising the military an even better budget and "Free Mars Bars (TM) for all!!!!!"

To the very very very loyal minion... ah Yl'zed Pflygna Z'Schkottz, we do hereby accept your proposal. We hereby rename you Tad Tod, as we can spell that, and demand that you be made ambassador to us, on the grounds that we're holding the old ambassador's family hostage. Do you like blue?
Oooooooo, Cheesies!!!!!

Dave "the Man!"

I like Dave.

The Duchy hereby grants Dave the plans for a Nuclear Device (TM). This is to insure that all nations may defend themselves from more hostile nations. Congrats!


The Viceroy of Pulcifer

You gave him a smoke alarm?

Dave is an incessant annoying little Brat whoinstantly requires tranquilising and cryogenically freezing until the next Great Depression (Happening soon if America dosn't sign up to new Montreal Climate Change) and waken then to ring joy to the people.
Tranquilise Him!
Tranquilise Him!
Tranquilise Him!
Tranquilise Him!
Tranquilise Him!
Tranquilise Him!
Tranquilise Him!
Tranquilise Him!
Tranquilise Him!
Optischer

Well, at least you're not posting smillies left and right:rolleyes:

OOC: For those who wish to follow the futher Adventures of Dave (or just follow him so you can be pissed at him), we've moved to http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10066159&posted=1#post10066159. Come for the Davemiester, stay for the blood and gore!