NationStates Jolt Archive

Axinon News Network

"All of Axinon celebrates today as the 1 billionth citizen of the Democratic Republic was born today in Axinon National Hospital.

The child, son of George and Shelly Machina, appears to be in good health. We haven't been able to get confirmation as to his name, but it is probable that this child will be named after the current president, as the 500 Millionth, 100 Millionth, and 10 millionth Axinonians were. Here with us now is the elderly number 500 million, Edmund Garfield.

Mr. Garfield, what was it like to grow up as the 500 Millionth person born in Axinon?"

"Well, my whole life I've been in the spotlight. I imagine that it will be even worse for this young lad, being number 1 billion and all. There are perks, such as the free health care that helped me live to this ripe old age. He, as well as his parents, will probably be celebrities for the rest of their lives. I hope that the young lad will grow up to be a well rounded man, and a great contributor to society. And now I must go, I'm running late for my arthritis treatment"

"The President is expected to give a speech later tonight. Now back to you guys in the studio."

The Dominion of DMG would like to send its congratulations along with a gift of one billion dollars.

The Armed Republic of Flightopia sends the best whishes for they boy and the entire nation. That an tthe gift of 1 billion dollars to be used towards his education.

~~~~~~~~~~~
The Libertarian Concordance of Czardas issues its congratulations to Axinon on the birth of its one billionth citizen. We are pleased to see that more and more nations are passing the billion mark and in honor of this wish to provide a scholarship for the billionth citizen to study at any of Czardas's renowned universities, if he so chooses.

~Kari Alhoun, Czardaian Foreign Minister
~~~~~~~~~~~

Axinon News Network

"And now to the president, in a live feed from the Executive Mansion"

**A Axinon News Network logo briefly flashes on the screen, and then William McConnel appears on the screen.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen of Axinon, The Inonian States, and all the world. I am here today to address you on this most happy occasion. Our nation has just welcomed its 1 billionth citizen into the world. It is indeed a boy, who is quite healthy and seems to be taking all of the noise outside the hospital in stride. Although the parents have not yet chosen a name for this young man, I am sure that it will be fitting.

To mark this monumental occasion, all non-essential workers in Axinon, as well as all schools, will receive a three day paid holiday. In addition, the family of the young man will be given a full paid scholarship to any university this man may so choose to attend when the time comes.

This is one of the happiest days in our grand Republic's history, and I hope there will be many more like this. Goodnight."

**The Axinon News Network logo flashes again, and then the camera returns to the reporter outside the hospital.

"And now we have with us the happy father of the child. Tell us George Machina, what is it like to be the father of the one billionth child born in Axinon?"

"Well... its kind of overwhelming... all of the attention, seeing us on all the news channels... I appreciate all of the gifts that have been pouring in. The Axinonian Government has already contacted us with a full scholarship offer to any Axinonian college. Also, the governments of the Dominion of DMG, The Armed Republic of Flightopia and The Libertarian Concordance of Czardas have also given us generous gifts to further young Duce's education. We are eternally grateful to all of these generous gifts, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

"You said 'young Duce'. Is that his name?"

"Yes it is. My wife and I decided to name him Duce Xavier."

"A wonderful name. And now back to you guys in the studio."

The Emperor of Xeraph sends his congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Machina, and to the nation of Axinon. He has made a decree to add the child's name to the roster of nation's who have reached this momentous goal.

regards,

Vlad, Prince of the Empire, Regent of The Grey Phoenix, in the Name of the Emperor.

Axinon News Network

"All of Axinon celebrates today as the 1 billionth citizen of the Democratic Republic was born today in Axinon National Hospital.

The child, son of George and Shelly Machina, appears to be in good health. We haven't been able to get confirmation as to his name, but it is probable that this child will be named after the current president, as the 500 Millionth, 100 Millionth, and 10 millionth Axinonians were. Here with us now is the elderly number 500 million, Edmund Garfield.

Mr. Garfield, what was it like to grow up as the 500 Millionth person born in Axinon?"

"Well, my whole life I've been in the spotlight. I imagine that it will be even worse for this young lad, being number 1 billion and all. There are perks, such as the free health care that helped me live to this ripe old age. He, as well as his parents, will probably be celebrities for the rest of their lives. I hope that the young lad will grow up to be a well rounded man, and a great contributor to society. And now I must go, I'm running late for my arthritis treatment"

"The President is expected to give a speech later tonight. Now back to you guys in the studio."

This is like the millionth time a billionth baby was born- how much more must our people endore. It took days to dispose of all the news letters sent to us. With all due respect to the parents, give it a rest with the litter producation. Go conquer the world or something. We got over 2 billion little ones you don't see us traumatize the poor kids to death.

Not Sincerely, Winston Spearhead

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A day later another letter arrived from the nation of United Earthlings. Sorry about the message I sent yesterday it was a bad day at work. We wish the parents and your nation best wishes and send our congratulations along with a basket of fruit that spells out Best Wishes- also for the people of Axinon we send a Forgive ME card along. Forgive ME (http://www.dgreetings.com/please/please04.htm)

Sincerely, Winston Spearhead