NationStates Jolt Archive

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ROACH-BUSTERS WORLD FACTBOOK


Geography
Location
Midwestern United States (RB is the IRL version of Minnesota, except 10 times the size)

Area
Total: 2,253,650 km²
Width: 4,000 km
Length: 6,450 km
% water: 8.4

Climate
Temperate

Terrain
Mostly flat, although the extreme southeastern portion of the nation is characterized by rugged high bluffs. Moreover, some low mountains are found in the northeastern portion of the nation.

Natural resources
Iron ore, timber

Land use
Arable land: 25.27%
Permanent crops: 10.91%
Other: 63.82%

Arable land distribution by class
Upper class: 85%
Middle class: 12%
Lower class: 3%

Natural hazards
Blizzards, thunderstorms, tornadoes

Environment - current issues
Deforestation; air pollution

Environment - International agreements
Party to: none


People
Population
3,000,000,000

Age structure
0-14 years: 11%
15-64 years: 83%
65 years and over: 6%

Median age
Total: 36 years
Male: 35.1 years
Female: 37.6 years

Population growth rate
1.9%

Birth rate
16.04 births/1,000 population

Death rate
3.84 deaths/1,000 population

Net migration rate
9.2 migrants/1,000 population

Sex ratio
At birth: 1.05 male(s)/female
Under 15 years: 1.05 male(s)/female
15-64 years: 0.98 male(s)/female
65 years and over: 0.85 male(s)/female
Total population: 0.98 male(s)/female

Infant mortality rate
Total: 1.43 deaths/1,000 live births
Male: 1.94 deaths/1,000 live births
Female: 0.89 deaths/1,000 live births

Life expectancy at birth
Total population: 91.04 years
Male: 87.74 years
Female: 94.51 years

Total Fertility Rate
2.42 children born/woman

HIV/AIDS - adult prevalence rate
NA

HIV/AIDS - people living with HIV/AIDS
NA

HIV/AIDS - death
NA

Nationality
Noun: Roach-Busterian(s)
Adjective: Roach-Busterian

Ethnic groups
White 88.2%, black 3.5%, hispanic 2.9%, Asian 2.9%, Native American 1.1%, mixed race 1.4%

Religions
Lutheran 26%, Baptist 5%, Methodist 4%, Presbyterian 3%, other Protestant 20%, Roman Catholic 25%, other Christian 1%, other religion 1%, no religion/agnostic 15%

Languages
to be decided

Literacy
definition: age 15 and over can read and write
total population: 100%
male: 100%
female: 100%


Government Structure and Politics
Country name
Conventional long form: Holy Empire of Roach-Busters
Conventional short form: Roach-Busters
Abbreviation(s): RB, R-B, R.B.

Government type
Absolute monarchy

Capital City
RB City

Union Territories
Iowa
Michigan
North Dakota
South Dakota
Wisconsin

Overseas Colonies
Central African Republic
Congo, Democratic Republic of
Congo, Republic of
El Salvador
Lebanon
Nicaragua
Roach-Busterian Pakistan
Paraguay
Philippines
Syria
Yemen

Independence
1 May (2004)

National holidays
Coronation Day, January 1 (2006)
Princess Rinoa Latimer-Featherston's birthday, March 3 (1989)
Princess Lina Latimer's birthday, March 30 (1982)
Easter - date varies by year
Independence Day, May 1 (2004)
Minnesota Day, May 11 (1858)
Constitution Day, August 12 (2005)
Imperator J.L. I's birthday, September 19 (1959)
Prince Alfredo Stroessner Latimer's birthday, November 3 (1991)
Crown Prince Anastasio Somoza Latimer's birthday, December 5 (1986)
Empress Christine's birthday, December 13 (1966)
Christmas Eve, December 24 - date varies by year
Christmas Day, December 25 - date varies by year

Constitution
12 August 2005

Legal system
Federal court system based on English common law

Suffrage
20 years of age, universal and compulsory

Executive branch
Head of state: Imperator J.L. I
Head of government: Chancellor Anastasio Somoza Latimer

Cabinet
Minister of War: Lester Lindsey
Foreign Minister: Chong Moua
Chief Magistrate: Terris Fitten
Minister of Public Order: Chia Neng Lee
Minister of Information and Press: Jurilyn Devero
Minister of Economics: Jeffrey Priessler
Head of B.A.D.G.E.: General Donald "T-Rex" McRaven
Minister of Commerce and Trade: Vincent DeLusia
Minister of the Treasury: Scott Storla
Minister of Internal Affairs: Eunice Villanueva
Minister of Colonial Affairs: Ella Villagracia

Legislative branch
Bicameral National Assembly consists of the Senate (87 seats; one member is chosen by each county legislature to serve a five-year term) and the Chamber of Deputies (435 seats; five from each county, directly elected by popular vote of the citizens thereof, to serve five-year terms)
Elections: Senate - last held 2 December 2004 (next to be held November 2009); Chamber of Deputies - last held 2 December 2004 (next to be held November 2009)

Political parties
Patriot Party, United Federal Party, Progressive Democratic Party, National Conservative Party, Liberal Republican Party, Independent Moderate Party, Falange Party, Roach-Busters Nationalist Party, Family First Party, Christian Democratic Party (note: in accordance with the constitution, 85% of all Senate and Chamber of Deputies seats are reserved for members of the Patriot Party)

Outlawed political parties
Roach-Busters Communist Party, Roach-Busters National Socialist Party, Roach-Busters Worker's Party (contrary to the name, it's socialist, not communist)

Outlawed political interest groups/organizations
Ku Klux Klan, Black Panthers, Aryan Nation, Nation of Islam, La Raza, Skull and Bones, Illuminati, Freemasons, WAR, NAACP, NAAWP

Judicial branch
Supreme Court (four of its fifteen justices are popularly elected; four are chosen by the Chamber of Deputies; four are chosen by the Senate; two are appointed by the Chancellor; and the Chief Justice is appointed by Imperator J.L. I); Roach-Busters Court of Appeal; Roach-Busters Military Court; Roach-Busters District Courts; State and County Courts

International organization participation
TBA, CAD, SEATO, World Capitalist and Communist Consortium, Brothers in Arms, UNA, PRA, CC, Evil Dictator's Lounge and Gentleman's Club, Who Gives a Damn About Human Rights Club, RWC, Circle Alliance, ACE, WACL


Legal Issues
Drinking age
None (alcohol is illegal is RB)

Tobacco age (without parental permission)
21 (note: tobacco cannot be smoked/chewed in public, only in one's home)

Tobacco age (with parental permission)
16 (note: tobacco cannot be smoked/chewed in public, only in one's home)

Gambling age
None (gambling is illegal in RB)

Firearms purchase age
16

Firearms possession age
12

Driving age (cars, trucks, etc.)
18

Driving age (motorcycles)
15

Marriage age (without parental permission)
20

Marriage age (with parental permission)
14

Age to legally own land
20

Age to legally own a slave
15

Age of eligibility for inheritence
None (within reason, though)

Age when one is legally an adult
20

Capital crimes
Abortion
Adultery
Bestialty
Euthanasia (although this law is seldom enforced)
Getting a sex change operation
Importing/breeding/releasing any pest (especially if it's one that's extinct in RB)
Incest
Murder (except in self-defense, or if the one being murdered is a Shooban or Turta)
Pedophilia
Rape
Singing the song "Internationale"
Use of 'hard' drugs
Wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt (or any apparel glorifies a leftist/communist)

Other crimes (and how they are punishable)
Advocating Shooban or Turta 'rights' (punishable by deportation)
Animal abuse (punishable by 2-5 years' imprisonment, or longer, depending on the abuse in question)
Child abuse (punishable by amputation of both of the abusers' arms) (note: how serious physical punishment has to be to be construed as abuse varies by state, department, city, etc.)
Inciting racial hatred/tension (punishable by deportation or 25 years' imprisonment, depending on the judge's decision)
Inciting religious hatred/tension (punishable by deportation or 25 years' imprisonment, depending on the judge's decision)
Inciting class hatred/tension (punishable by deportation or 25 years' imprisonment, depending on the judge's decision)
Insulting an ally of Roach-Busters (punishable by 5 years' imprisonment at hard labor)
Insulting a minor government official or a member of Congress (punishable by 5 lashes)
Insulting a member of the Cabinet (punishable by 5-10 years' imprisonment at hard labor and 25 lashes)
Insulting a member of the First Family (no punishment necessary, as anyone who would dare insult them would immediately be lynched by angry crowdss)
Insulting the Imperator (no punishment necessary, as anyone who would dare insult him would immediately be lynched by angry crowds)
Littering (punishable by a fine equal to 15% of the person's yearly income)
Owning a flag of an enemy nation (punishable by deportation)
Non-rape sexual abuse (punishable by castration, without anesthesia)
'Soft' drug use (punishable by up to 5 years' imprisonment)
Speeding (punishable by revocation of license for 2 years)
Thievery (punishable by 40 lashes, 10 years' imprisonment, and a fine of up to $250,000; if the criminal cannot afford that much, he will work it off as a slave laborer on one of the Imperator's plantations)
White-collar crime (punishable by 25 years' imprisonment and a fine of up to $25,000,000; if the criminal cannot afford that much, he will work it off as a slave laborer on one of the Imperator's plantations)

Outlawed occupations
Prostitution
Pornographic film actor/actress
'Exotic dancing'
Pornographic filmmaker
Bartending
Drug dealing

Outlawed books
The Communist Manifesto
Das Kapital
Prison Notebooks
Letters From Prison
Mein Kampf
The Doctrine of Fascism
Quotations From Chairman Mao
The Kinsey Report
Sexual Behavior in the Human Male
Sexual Behavior in the Human Female
Democracy and Education (as well as everything else written by John Dewey)
The Feminist Mystique
The Course of Positive Philosophy
Beyond Good and Evil
General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money (as well as everything else written by John Maynard Keynes)
The Humanist Manifesto
The Gay Science
Origin of Man
Descent of Man
Guerrilla Warfare
Steal this Book
The Chomsky Reader (as well as everything else written by Chomsky)
A People's History of the United States (as well as everything else written by Howard Zinn)
A People's History of the Vietnam War (as well as everything else written by Jonathan Neale)
Vietnam: A History (as well as everything else written by Stanley Karnow)
What Is To Be Done
Authoritarian Personality
On Liberty
Beyond Freedom and Dignity
Reflections on Violence
The Promise of American Life
Madness and Civilization
Soviet Communism: A New Civilization
I, Rigoberta Menchu
Coming of Age in Samoa
Unsafe at Any Speed
Silent Spring
Wretched of the Earth
Introduction to Psychoanalysis
The Greening of America
The Limits to Growth
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Champion of Freedom
Earth in the Balance
People's War, People's Army
Theory of Justice
The Jungle
The Grapes of Wrath
Death of Somoza
The Inequality of Human Races
The Rising Tide of Color Against White World-Supremacy
The Passing of the Great Race
White America:The American Racial Problem as Seen in a Worldwide Perspective
Hold Back This Day
The Camp of the Saints
Take Your Choice: Separation or Mongrelization
Foundations of the Black Nation
War In America: The Malcolm X Doctrine
The Malcolm Generation & Other Stories
If They Come in the Morning: Voices of Resistance
Frame Up: The Opening Defense Statement Made (as well as everything else written by Angela Davis)
The Autobiography of W.E.B. DuBois (as well as everything else written by DuBois)
The Philosophy and Opinions of Marcus Garvey (as well as everything else written by Marcus Garvey)
Malcolm X Speaks: Selected Speeches and Statements (as well as everything else written by Malcolm X)
Legal Lynching (as well as everything else written by Jesse Jackson)
Go and Tell Pharaoh: The Autobiography of Reverend Al Sharpton (as well as everything else written by Al Sharpton)
My Life
Sharing Good Times (as well as everything else written by Jimmy Carter)
Stupid White Men (as well as everything else written by Michael Moore)
Dutchman and the Slave (as well as everything else written by LeRoi Jones)
Who Let the Dogs In?: Incredible Political Animals I Have Known (as well as everything else written by Molly Ivins)
Hearts in Atlantis
The Shawshank Redemption
The Green Mile
Everything written by Herbert Marcuse
Everything written by Jack London

Outlawed films
All films directed by Oliver Stone
All films directed by Michael Moore
All films directed by Emile de Antonio
All films directed by Bernardo Bertolucci
All films directed by Larry Clark
All films directed by Sydney Pollock
All films directed by Steven Spielberg
All films directed by Francis Ford Coppola
All films featuring George Clooney
All films featuring Jane Fonda
All films featuring Robert Redford
All films featuring Kevin Costner
All films featuring Woody Harrelson
All films featuring Chevy Chase
All films featuring Mike Farrell
All films featuring Jack Nicholson
All films featuring Leonardo diCaprio
All films featuring Tim Robbins
All films featuring Dennis Weaver
All films featuring Peter Yarrow
All films featuring Whoopi Goldberg
All films featuring Ed Asner
All films featuring Barbra Streisand
All films featuring Danny Glover
All films featuring Susan Sarandon
All films featuring Tom Cruise (or any other Scientologist, for that matter)
All films featuring Jessica Lange
All James Bond films
John Q
In & Out
Striptease
The Full Monty
Gandhi
Mandela
Cider House Rules
Reds
American Beauty
Pleasantville
The Green Mile
The Shawshank Redemption
Absolute Power
The Last Temptation of Christ
Jesus Christ Superstar
Birth of a Nation
Malcolm X
The Day After Tomorrow
The People Under the Stairs
They Live
The Crazies

Outlawed comics
The Boondocks
Doonesbury

Outlawed magazines & newspapers
The Advocate
Alternative Green
Anarcho-Syndicalist Review
Anarchy: A Journal of Desire Armed
The Arousal
Asian Babes
AVN Magazine
Black Flag
Blueboy
Boink
Brand
Burning Spear
Busty Beauties
Celebrity Sleuth
Challenge
Chic
Class War
Club
Club International
The Crisis
Curve
Dissent
El Libertario
Extra!
Fiesta
Fifth Estate
Foreign Affairs
Forum
Freedom Press
Freedom newspaper
Freedom Socialist
Freie Arbeiter Stimme
Gallery
Genre
Green Anarchist
Green Anarchy
Green Pages
The Guardian
High Society
Hustler
Ideas and Action
In These Times
Industrial Worker
Instinct
International Socialist Review
Just Girls
Justice!
Knave
MAD Magazine
The Match
Mayfair
Men's World
Metrosource
The Militant
Mother Earth
Mother Jones
The Nation
National Review
New Internationalist
The New Republic
The New Unionist
New York Times
The Northeastern Anarchist
Our Generation
Out
Out Traveler
The People
People's Tribune
People's Weekly World
Penthouse
Perfect 10
Perspectives on Anarchist Theory
Playboy
Playgirl
Practical Anarchy
Profane Existence
The Progressive
The Progressive Populist
The Raven
Revolution
SchNEWS
Score
The Socialist
Socialist Worker
Screw
The Spark
Species Traitor
The Utopian
Voluptuous
Washington Post
We Never Sleep
XL
XY
Z Magazine

Outlawed websites (in addition to websites affiliated with outlawed magazines, interest groups, organizations, etc.)
Stormfront

Outlawed plays
The Vagina Monologues
The Good Body

Outlawed music
Rap
Shock rock
Heavy metal
R&B
Pop
Hip hop
Psychedelic music
Punk music
Disco

Outlawed religions, denominations, beliefs, branches, etc.
Christian Identity
Liberation theology
Jehovah's Witnesses
Scientology
Wicca
Satanism

Outlawed sciences
Alchemy
Anthropology
Astrology
Darwinism
Ethnology
Eugenics
Modern geocentrism
Phrenology
Physiognomy
Racial science
Sociology

Organizations denied access to RB (see also "Outlawed political interest groups")
Amnesty International
Freedom House
Human Rights Watch
Journals Without Borders
UNESCO
UNICEF
United Nations


Economy (note: I use Magdha's (http://www.nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=Magdha) economic statistics)
Economy - overview
Roach-Busters has a laissez faire, free-enterprise economy with no governmental regulations, that welcomes foreign investment. Exports feature Shooban slaves, timber, iron ore, textiles, and automobiles. Its highly industrialized, stable economy is among the most prosperous in the world, with low unemployment, a highly skilled labor force, and a GDP among the world‘s highest.

GDP
Purchasing power parity - $150.5 trillion (2005 est.)

GDP - real growth rate
5.04%

GDP per capita
$38,702.60

GDP - composition by sector
Agriculture: 65.6%
Industry: 22.5%
Services and misc. sectors: 11.9%

Class composition
Upper class ($25,000,000+): 5%
Middle class ($25,000-$25,000,000): 70%
Lower class (-$25,000): 25%

Wealth distribution by class
Upper class: 80%
Middle class: 15%
Lower class: 5%

Population below poverty line
1.3% (below $10,000 is considered below poverty line)

Unemployment rate
2.84%

Household income or consumption by % share
Lowest 10%: 28.0%
Highest 10%: 2.6%

Inflation rate
1.6%

Labor force
2.170 billion

Budget
Revenues: $14.36 trillion
Expenditures: $11.5 trillion

Industrial production growth rate
3.86%

Electricity - production
56.5 trillion kWh

Electricity - consumption
45 trillion kWh

Electricity - exports
3.7 trillion kWh

Electricity - imports
1.8 trillion kWh

Electricity - reserves/backup power (production total minus consumption and exports)
7.098 trillion kWh

Oil - production
49.1 million bbl/day

Oil - consumption
76.2 million bbl/day

Oil - exports
6.5 million bbl/day

Oil - imports
5.0 million bbl/day

Oil - proven reserves
128 trillion bbl

Natural gas - monthly production
310 billion cubic cm

Natural gas - yearly consumption
22 trillion cubic cm

Natural gas - exports
300 billion cu cm

Natural gas - imports
201 trillion cu cm

Natural gas - proven reserves
815 trillion cubic cm

Exports
$107.76 trillion f.o.b.

Exports - commodities
Shooban slaves, natural resources, textiles, agricultural products and automobiles

Exports - partners
CAD 45.5%, Ottoman Khaif 14.5%, Irondin 14.2%, The Transylvania 8.8% Farmina 8%, The Lightning Star 7%, other 2%

Imports
$109.14 trillion

Imports - commodities
Weapons, machinery, chemicals, metals

Imports - partners
CAD 45%, The Transylvania 12.2%, The Lightning Star 12%, Ottoman Khaif 10.9%, Farmina 10.2%, Irondin 7%, other 2.7%

Reserves of foreign exchange and gold
$150 trillion

Debt - external
NA

Economic aid - donor
$100,000,000.00

Recipients
Irondin (45% of aid), The Real ALM (30%), other (25%)

Currency
RB Dollar

Currency code
RBD

Exchange rates
1 RB Dollar = $1.8311 USD

Fiscal year
Calender year

Major Corporations
Roach-Busters Pest Control
Founder: Imperator J.L. I
Co-founders: Kevin Orozco, Sundown Hill, Chia Neng Lee
President: Imperator J.L. I
Chairman of the Board: Kevin Orozco
Chief Executive Officer: Sundown Hill
Chief Financial Officer: Chia Neng Lee
Board of Directors: Imperator J.L. I, Kevin Orozco, Sundown Hill, Chia Neng Lee, Calvin Cyprian Jr., Anastasio Latimer, Alfredo Latimer
Employs: 86,000,000
Declared value: $3,500,000,000,000.00
Company motto: "Who ya gonna call!? Roach-Busters!!!"

Trafton Automobile Company
Founder: Ronald Trafton
Co-founder: NA
President: Ronald Trafton
Chairman of the Board: Mary Trafton
Chief Executive Officer: Jeffrey Priessler
Chief Financial Officer: Scott Storla
Board of Directors: Imperator J.L. I, Ronald Trafton, Mary Trafton, Jeffrey Priessler, Scott Storla
Employs: 25,400,000
Declared value: $3,000,000,000,000.00
Company motto: "Burn rubber, guzzle gas, with a Trafton!"

Roach-Busters Premium Tobacco
Founder: Imperator J.L. I
Co-founder: NA
President: Imperator J.L. I
Chairman of the Board: Anastasio Latimer
Chief Executive Officer: Calvin Cyprian, Jr.
Chief Financial Officer: Amanda Cyprian
Board of Directors: Imperator J.L. I, Anastasio Latimer, Calvin Cyprian Jr., Amanda Cyprian Alfredo Latimer
Employs: 12,000,000
Declared value: $50,000,000,000.00
Company motto: "Light up...you know you want to!"

Roach-Busters Naval Yards
Founder: Ron Trafton
Co-founder: Mary Trafton
President: Ron Trafton
Chairman of the Board: Terry Fitten
Chief Executive Officer: Terrel Fitten
Chief Financial Officer: Terris Fitten
Board of Directors: Imperator J.L. I, Ron Trafton, Mary Trafton, Terry Fitten, Terrel Fitten, Terris Fitten, Whitney Fitten
Employs: 750,000
Declared value: $800,000,000,000.00
Company motto: "Ships for sale, ships for sail!"

National Petroleum Company
Founder: Ron Trafton
Co-founder: Terry Fitten
President: Imperator J.L. I
Chairman of the Board: Ron Trafton
Chief Executive Officer: Mary Trafton
Chief Financial Officer: Mary Trafton
Board of Directors: Imperator J.L. I, Ron Trafton, Mary Trafton, Terry Fitten
Employs: 1,200,000
Declared value: $1,000,000,000,000.00
Company motto: "Oil...the black gold."

TDF Entertainment
Founder: Terris Fitten
Co-founder: Terrel Fitten
President: Terris Fitten
Chairman of the Board: Terris Fitten
Chief Executive Officer: Terrel Fitten
Chief Financial Officer: Terry Fitten
Board of Directors: Imperator J.L. I, Terris Fitten, Terrel Fitten, Terry Fitten, Alma Fitten, Whitney Fitten
Employs: 56,000
Declared value: $500,600,000,000.00
Company motto: "TDF Entertainment...your source for the greatest in movies, video games, and computer software!"

Roach-Busters National News Network
Founder: Imperator J.L. I
Co-founder: NA
President: Supa-apha Dhammanives
Chairman of the Board: Ally Linda
Chief Executive Officer: Ae Yang
Chief Financial Officer: Chia Neng Lee
Board of Directors: Imperator J.L. I, Supa-apha Dhammanives, Ally Linda, Ae Yang, Chia Neng Lee, Calvin Cyprian Jr., Walter Krankheit
Employs: 460
Declared value: $100,000,000.00
Company motto: "The most trusted name in government-approved news."


Communications
Telephones - main lines in use
2.4 billion

Telephones - mobile cellular
1.62 billion

Telephone system
General assessment: Excellent domestic and international services

Radio broadcast stations
AM 42, FM 513 (plus many low power stations), shortwave 21

Television broadcast stations
239

Internet country code
.rb

Internet hosts
987,651

Internet users
2.56 billion


Transportation
Railways
Total: 35,402km
Standard gauge: 21,483km 1.435m-gauge (21,472 km electrified)

Highways
Total: 255,094km
Paved: 219,204km (including 35,300km of expressways)
Unpaved: 35,890km

Waterways
2,209km

Pipelines
Gas 24,505km, oil 22,901 km, refined products 17,004km

Merchant marine
Total: 2,491 ships

Airports
140

Heliports
863


Military & International Affairs
Military branches
Roach-Busters Army, Roach-Busters Navy, Roach-Busters Royal Air Force

Military manpower - military age and obligation
16 years of age for compulsory military service; 14 years of age for voluntary military service

Military manpower - availability
Males age 15-60: 527,498,031

Military manpower - fit for military service
Males age 15-60: 509,512,876

Military manpower - reaching military age annually
4,336,000

Transnational Issues
Disputes - international
none

Organizations labeled 'terrorist organizations' by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Woodstock Pact
Socialist International
Global Law Courts
International League of Socialist States
Left-Wing Alliance

Primary allies
CAD (too many to list), Irondin, The Lightning Star, The Real ALM, The Transylvania, Farmina, Holy Paradise, Ottoman Khaif, The Burnsian Desert, Kravania, Banduria

Primary enemies
Sarzonia (note: we don't interact ICly, but ICly I still consider him an enemy), Ankhmet

Illicit drugs
totally unknown; an all-pervasive police force ensures that drug production, importation, and exportation are non-existent


Random Facts, Part 1
Pests that are extinct in Roach-Busters
Cockroaches
Termites
Mosquitoes
Kissing bugs
Centipedes
Millipedes
Crickets
Ticks
Lice
Fleas
Brown rats
House flies
Horse flies
Deer flies
Tarantulas

National animal
Grey Wolf

National bird
Common Loon

National butterfly
Monarch

National fish
Walleye

National flower
Showy Lady Slipper

National gemstone
Lake Superior Agate

National mushroom
Morel

National tree
Norway Pine

I.Q.
Average I.Q.: 115-120
Lowest ever recorded I.Q.: 7
Highest ever recorded I.Q.: 250+

Height
Average height (male): 5'10"
Average height (female): 5'-5'2"
Lowest ever recorded height (male): 3'4"
Lowest ever recorded height (female): 2'8"
Highest ever recorded height (male): 7'2"
Highest ever recorded height (female): 6'5"

Wealthiest Roach-Busterians
Imperator J.L. ($25,000,000,000,000)
Ronald 'Ron' Trafton ($4,350,000,000,000)
Calvin Cyprian, Jr. ($4,300,000,000,000)
Mark 'Adam' Baum ($3,900,000,000,000)
Chia Neng Lee ($2,500,000,000,000)

National sport
Football

Other popular sports
Hunting Shoobans
Hunting Turtas
Baseball
Basketball
Soccer




Random Facts, Part 2

Military

No females are permitted to serve in the military, except as nurses (with the exception of the Popular Regional Forces).

All volunteers and draftees must first take a test to determine their political views. If they score less than a 9.00 (out of 10.00) for Economic Left/Right and/or less than 5.00 (out of 10.00) for Social Libertarian/Authoritarian, they will not be accepted into the military.

All deserters are hanged publicly, to set an example for their peers.

Every time RB soldiers win a battle, they examine every enemy corpse, tear the military insignia from each uniform, and burn any enemy flags they find.

Each RB soldier is required by law to wear a lapel bearing the Imperator's portrait. Those who refuse to comply are court-martialed.

Soldiers who serve 2 years or more in the military are rewarded with free college tuition.

Married soldiers and/or soldiers with children are rarely let into the military, with few exceptions.



Military mottos:

Royal Guard Armored Infantry = "Kill for peace"
Royal Guard Mechanized Infantry = "War is Heaven"
Royal Guard State Security = "Dissent is like a cockroach, meant to be crushed"
Royal Guard Cavalry = "War is such a beautiful thing"
Royal Guard Special Forces = "Violence doesn't solve anything, it solves everything"
Royal Guard Super Elite Infantry = "Living, fighting, and dying for the right-wing cause"

Navy = "Join the Navy, see the world"
Air Force = "Soaring to ever-greater heights of glory"


Imperator J.L.

The Imperator owns over fifty estates around the world, including his castle, thirty plantations in Brazil (each more than 5,000 acres), a palace in Parthia, castles in Doomingsland, Borman Empire, and Generic Empire, a dozen mansions throughout Central America, several lucrative estates in Europe, and several factories and business ventures throughout Asia.

The Imperator's main castle has a zoo with over 5,000 animals, a movie theater, a video games arcade with over 400 games, an Olympic-sized swimming pool, an amusement park, over forty restaurants, an art museum, an opera house, an orchestra, a dance theater, a church, a basketball court, a baseball field, a football field, a soccer field, a boxing ring, a man-made lake so clean you can see the bottom of it, a warehouse with over 2,500,000 movies on VHS and tens of thousands on DVD, a drive-in theater, an airport, ten hotels, and a 750,000 acre plantation where slaves toil under the sun all day. The entire estate is surrounded by 50 ft. tall reinforced concrete walls topped with 7 ft. of excrement-coated electric barbed wire carrying 100,000 volts of electricity, magma-filled moats 45 ft. wide, hundreds of SAMs, missile launchers, over 10,000,000 land mines, nuclear weapon launchers, military barracks, guard towers, etc.

The Imperator owns hundreds of companies, most worth tens of millions, several worth hundreds of millions, and a few worth billions.


Cultural

Jaguars, tigers, lions, leopards, and pumas are popular house pets.

Men who do not open doors for women are generally frowned upon.

Dueling with guns is illegal. All dueling must be done with swords. Also, for duels to be legal, neither dueler can be under the age of 16 (although 14-15 year olds can also do so, with parental permission).

Egg nog is by far the most popular drink in RB, and is available all year round.

No one may stage or participate in a political demonstration without a government-approved certificate. Also, demonstrations cannot have more than 200 demonstrators, and for each demonstration, there must be one police officer present for every four demonstrators.


Most Prestigious Places of Higher Learning (with annual tuition cost listed)

Thatvatchai Theveenugul Academy of Business Administration ($250,000 USD)
Roach-Busters National University ($50,000 USD)
RB City Military Academy ($750,000 USD)
Shaun Churchman Academy of Advanced Military Tactics ($600,000 USD)
Robert E. Lee Military Academy ($150,000 USD)
George Patton Military Academy ($230,000 USD)
Ronald Reid-Daly Academy of Guerrilla Warfare ($175,000 USD)
Jeffrey Priessler Business Academy ($400,000 USD)
Roach-Busters Governmental Academy of Espionage Tactics ($260,000 USD)
Poj Theveenugul Medical School ($80,000 USD)
Chia Neng Lee Law School ($121,000 USD)
Terry Fitten Naval Academy ($350,000 USD)
Calvin Cyprian, Sr. Air Force Academy ($345,000 USD)
Mark Lyle Baum Academy of Modern Science ($900,000 USD)

Imperator J.L. I (46), Sovereign Lord of the Holy Empire of Roach-Busters and her Dominions. A military man all his life, J.L. enlisted as a young man, hoping to eventually gain the opportunity to stage a coup d'etat and oust RB's totalitarian Marxist government. His patience paid off. Feigning deep loyalty for many years, he was rapidly promoted, eventually becoming General of the Army. He staged a successful coup d'etat, seized power, and ruled as a moderate, reformist, democratic President before granting himself emergency powers. He adopted the title Generalissimo and began to rule by decree, as an authoritarian dictator intolerant of dissent. He ruled his people with a potent combination of brutality and charm. While political freedoms were sharply curtailed, most civil liberties were left intact, and the economy, previously one of the world's poorest, grew explosively, with RB rapidly becoming an economic powerhouse and military and industrial superpower. J.L. later decided to make RB a monarchy, and was crowned Imperator J.L. I, with his third wife, Christine, being crowned Empress. J.L. is known for his keen, razor-sharp political astuteness, photographic memory, almost inhuman capacity for hard work (he awakens at 5:00 A.M. everyday and works until 10:00 P.M., with only a few brief intermissions), unshakable integrity, wry humor, larger-than-life personality, and mesmerizing charisma. He is widely idolized by the masses, who fondly refer to him as "Papa." J.L. is 6'4", 175 lb., with an I.Q. of 205 and an AB blood type. Highly educated, he holds several PhD's and fluently speaks dozens of languages. An extreme rightist, he is one of the world's staunchest anticommunists. His hobbies are hunting, fishing, skeet shooting, fencing, dueling, swordsmanship, chess, reading, dining, and ballroom dancing. A deeply pious Catholic, he openly and proudly proclaims his devout faith, and credits the success of his coup and governance to God Himself. J.L. has been married three times (his first two wives died, and he recently remarried) and has four children, three of them by his second wife and one adopted.

Empress Christine 'Tin' Peralta-Latimer (39), the third (and current) wife of the Imperator. They had been the best of friends for years, all the while she secretly harbored strong romantic feelings for him. She served with distinction first as Minister of Commerce, then later as Special Assistant for National Security Affairs. After Thiensiri's tragic death, she was the only one who could comfort the deeply depressed Imperator, who eventually caved in to the inevitable and revealed his true feelings for her (after a surprise visit from Thiensiri's ghost). The two were later happily married in a dual wedding/coronation ceremony. Born in Davao City, Philippines in 1966, Christine is a deeply pious Christian who is devoutly religious, has memorized almost the entire Bible, and has attended church every Sunday of her life, regardless of the circumstances. She is zealously patriotic, extremely sharp and cunning, and highly intelligent and well-educated. A stunningly beautiful woman, like the late Thiensiri she has undergone extensive genetic altercations so she would remain physically young (in her case, 20 years old) for the rest of her life.

Crown Prince Anastasio Somoza Latimer (19), the designated heir to the throne and Chancellor of Roach-Busters (his basic role is "filling in" for the Imperator while he is abroad, ill, or for any reason temporarily unable to assume his full duties). Tacho is popular for his laid-back, affable manner, and his easy-going, open nature. He is considered a very kind man, as he annually donates billions of dollars to various charities. He also has his father's intelligence and rabid hatred of communism. After the death of his mother and the institutionalization of his father, he temporarily served as President, and was renowned for his cautious, moderate, conciliatory leadership. He achieved international acclaim for dismantling the 'homelands.' Whether his reforms will be permanent, however, remains to be seen. He is currently dating Princess Farah of Parthia.

Prince Alfredo Stroessner Latimer (14), second son and youngest child of the Imperator and his second wife, and Chairman of the World Anti-Communist League. Currently attending Roach-Busters National University, he is studying economics and law, and working on obtaining his PhD. Very handsome and soft-spoken, he is popular with the ladies, but is rather shy and withdrawn, and talks little.

Princess Lina Latimer (23), daughter of the Imperator and his second wife. She inherited her unfathomable beauty from her mother and her dry sense of humor from her father. she is the head of a special woman's paramilitary organization that represents her father and the government's interests and garners support for him, at home and abroad. Gentle, mild-mannered, and polite to a fault, she is very much "daddy's little girl," and J.L. guards her zealously. There is an unsubstantiated rumor that she is currently involved romantically with Emperor Kazatmiru of Generia.

Princess Rinoa Latimer-Featherston (16), adopted daughter of the Imperator and First Lady of the Reunited States of America. She shares many of her adopted mother and father's traits: her father's militant anticommunism and passion for killing Shoobans, her mother's pulchritude, gentle heart, generosity, and kindness, and both parents' intelligence. She is married to Jake Featherston IV, President of the Reunited States of America.

Minister of War Lester Lindsey (39), the overseer of all military affairs of Roach-Busters and a superb tactician. A former Field Marshal, Lester received almost 30 medals during his distinguished career, for wounds in battle, service above and beyond the call of duty, courage under fire, etc. He is most famous, though, as the most skilled martial artist in Roach-Busters. He is proficient in aikito, bando, banshay, bersilat, capoeira, fencing, jeet kune do, jiu jitsu, Brazilian jiu jitsu, judo, karate, kendo, Khmer boxing, kuen-do, kung fu, lethwei, Muay Boran, Muay Thai, naban, ninjitsu, Shaolin Quan, T'ai Chi Ch'uan, taekwando, thaing, Yong Chun, and many other martial arts styles. He has participated in the Roach-Busters National Martial Arts Championship ten times, and has never lost.

Foreign Minister Chong Moua (36), a world-renowned, internationally-acclaimed, prize-winning diplomat, known for his uncompromising integrity, statesmanship, and ability to defuse even the most hostile situations. Dozens of wars worldwide have been averted or ended because of him. He has been an ambassador to dozens of countries, has visited every country in the world at least once, and is rumored to speak almost 75 languages (most, but not all, fluently). He is married to Kimiko Ayasugi of the Real Anime Liberation Movement, with whom he has had two children, Katherine and Joshua.

Chief Magistrate Terris Fitten (47), responsible for drafting, passing, and administering laws at the Imperator's request. As chief magistrate, he has total control over both the Senate and the Chamber of Deputies. Although he personally holds centrist political views, and is more of a pragmatist rather than an idealist, he is nevertheless is a firm supporter of the government, and loyally carries out his duties with enthusiasm and zeal. He is famous for his oratory, savvy political skills, and extremely sharp intellect (his I.Q. is slightly over 200, and he holds several Ph.Ds). He is happily married with several children. He is one of the Imperator's best friends.

Minister of Public Order Chia Neng Lee (37), hard-line right-winger and one of the most virulently anticommunist members of the Cabinet. Taciturn and aloof, he has earned the reputation of being a lone wolf. He very rarely speaks, and is so silent that Calvin Coolidge pales in comparison. Chia is known for his draconian stance on law and order, unfaltering loyalty to the Imperator, zero tolerance for dissent, and extreme brutality toward communists. Having lost over a dozen family members to communism, his hatred of Marxism- and the gleeful, sadistic manner in which he eradicates its followers- should come as a surprise to no one. He succeeds smashingly (literally and figuratively) in suppressing all crime and all semblances of dissent. He is also Chief Financial Officer (and a co-founder) of Roach-Busters Pest Control.

Minister of Information and Press Jurilyn Devero (52), one of the best friends of the Imperator. Born in Dumaguete City, Negros Oriental, Philippines, she is a devout, deeply religious Roman Catholic and staunch anticommunist. As Minister of Proganda, she oversees the establishment of the Generalissimo's all-pervasive personality cult and ensures that citizens are bombarded with as much pro-government propaganda as possible, as effectively as possible. She also oversees the censorship or banning of all potentially subversive or immoral magazines, books, films, etc., and ensures that the government line is taught in all schools (even though all schools are privately run). She is highly successful at her job. She is one of the most beautiful women in Roach-Busters. State-of-the-art genetic altercations allow her to retain her youthful appearance and remain physically young (in her case, 26) for the rest of her life.

Minister of Economics Jeffrey Priessler (64), multi-billionaire, owner of over a dozen multinational corporations worth hundreds of millions of dollars, and one of the richest men in Roach-Busters. His economic views are extremely libertarian, laissez faire, non-governmental-interventionist. The Imperator openly credits Priessler, as well as Minister of Commerce and Trade Vincent DeLusia and Minister of the Treasury Scott Storla, with turning Roach-Busters from one of the world's poorest countries to one of the world's richest ones.

Head of B.A.D.G.E. Donald "T-Rex" McRaven (44), head of Roach-Busterian domestic, international, and military intelligence. Donald has served as an intelligence operative, super-spy, and secret agent in various military branches, successfully infiltrating even the most formidable and heavily fortified enemy bases without a hitch, and easily obtaining even the most elusive and top-secret information as easily as if he were obtaining an address from a phone book. He can decipher even the most complicated enemy codes with little effort, as well as successfully infiltrate men behind enemy lines. Thanks to his seemingly all-seeing eye, no terrorist attacks have occurred in RB since his appointment to head of B.A.D.G.E. Donald is nicknamed "T-Rex," for his daunting size (7', 425 lb.). In spite of his threatening appearance, he is quite gentle, even timid, and is a generally mild-mannered, soft-spoken man.

Minister of Commerce and Trade Vincent DeLusia (65), former college professor of history, economics, and political science at over a dozen of the world's most prestigious universities. He is of Trinidadian/Tobagonian descent. He is a genius with an I.Q. estimated to slightly exceed 200. Whatever his I.Q., he is one of the most brilliant men in the world. Though he describes his political views as "progressive," he is a strong advocate of laissez faire capitalism and free trade, and his neoliberal policies regarding RB's commercial relations with the world are a large factor in the nation's economic success.

Minister of the Treasury Scott Storla (55), a former businessman and ingenious mathematician, he is like a human calculator, on par with Einstein or Gauss. His exact I.Q. is unknown, but estimates range from just below 180 to over 195. A staunch fiscal conservative, the government's budget is fully managed by him, and under his capable hands, Roach-Busters has become one of the world's wealthiest countries.

Minister of Internal Affairs Eunice Villanueva (32), one of the Imperator's closest friends and one of his most loyal and dependable advisors. She handles most of RB's domestic politics, such as appointing governors of provinces, hand-picking candidates for government-controlled elections, and closely overseeing the affairs of cities, counties, states, and other local governments. One of the most beautiful women on the planet, her pulchritude is surpassed by few.

Minister of Colonial Affairs Ella Villagracia (48), administrator and manager of the affairs of RB's overseas colonies. She helps draft colonies' laws, advise them on economic and military matters, provides any help them may need in managing their affairs, and reports their progress to the Imperator. Originally from Leyte, Philippines, she is rare in that, unlike most Filipinas, she is a Protestant, rather than a Roman Catholic. She has retained her stunning beauty and youthful appearance thanks to extensive genetic altercations.

Field Marshal Cody Jennings (50), Chief of the General Staff. Standing a whopping 6'7", and weighing over 350 lb. (all of it pure muscle), Jennings is not a man to mess with. He was a quarterback in high school as well as college, captain of his high school wrestling team and later college wrestling team, and is a former boxing champion who won dozens of international boxing competitions. He once fought over twelve burly, knife-wielding men to a standstill without even the slightest effort. When he was in the Army, he once took out two enemy platoons single-handedly with only a handful of grenades, a few bullets, and a prayer. His catchphrase is, "Don't piss me off." A military genius, his skills as a tactician have been compared to Rommel, Manstein, Patton, Lee, and even Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, and Hannibal.

Field Marshal Kevin Orozco (45), General of the Special Imperial Guard, the most elite unit in the military, tasked with the Imperator's personal physical safety as well as the protection of his estate. The SIG are the best-equipped, best-trained, and best-paid unit in the entire military, ruthless, meticulous, and scrupulous in carrying out their orders with rapidity and precision. Their success is due in part to Kevin, who is not only a die-hard government loyalist and close friend of the Imperator, but a competent strategist and brilliant commander in his own right. Though he is quite short (5'2"), he has a youthful, boyish, attractive face, and he is considered by many women to be the most handsome man in Roach-Busters. He is also a co-founder (and current Chairman of the Board) of Roach-Busters Pest Control.

Field Marshal Terrel Fitten (47), General of the Royal Guard. A brilliant, ingenious tactician renowned for his unpredictable, original, and highly innovative strategies, he is almost unanimously regarded as one of the greatest commanders and experts on warfare in world history. The fraternal twin brother of Terris Fitten and an old friend of Imperator J.L., he is an uncompromising anticommunist and a firm supporter of the Patriot Party.

Field Marshal Aelee Yang (35), General of the Infantry. He is famous for being a stern and rigily authoritarian commander, extremely strict and perfectionistic, but also compassionate and genuinely concerned for his troops' welfare. His units often achieve the lowest casualties and highest kill ratioes in the whole military. In some ways, he is astonishingly similar to Chia Neng Lee. Both lost many family members to communism (most of Ae's family members died fighting the Pathet Lao in Laos), both are of Hmong descent, and both are ultra-rightists who wage ruthless war against leftism. Ae's catch phrase, "The only good communist is a dead one," has become one of the most popular slogans in Roach-Busters.

Field Marshal Carlos LaFrance (39), General of the Armor. A lifelong professional soldier, he comes from a prominent military family. Every one of his male ancestors has participated in one war or another. His great-grand father, a tank commander in World War II, became one of the most highly decorated war heroes of that conflict, a legacy continued by Carlos, who is also a highly decorated war hero and ingenious tactician. He is quite bright, though occasionally a bit reckless and over-zealous. He is an old friend of the Imperator, and played a large role in the coup that toppled Saddam Insane.

Field Marshal Nick Lynum (37), General of the Airborne Infantry and a former zoologist. One of the world's leading experts on animals, he has university degrees in Anatomy, Biology, Ecology, Ethology, Herpetology, Ichtyology, Mammalogy, Microbiology, Oceanography, Ornithology, Paleobotany, Paleontology, and Zoology. His I.Q. is 223. He has studied animals all around the world, from lions in Africa to tigers in India to kangaroos in Australia to penguins in Antarctica to whales in the ocean. He has authored dozens of scholarly tomes, thousands of pages in length with hundreds of bibliographic references and tens of thousands of footnotes, about the environment (mostly proving global warming is a hoax), animals, plants (mostly horticulture), etc., as well as a book over 15,000 pages long proving evolution is a hoax. At the age of 25, his brother Aaron, a top-ranking military figure, convinced him to join the military. Nick agreed, albeit with extreme reluctance. He later admitted that it was one of the best decisions he had ever made. He rose rapidly in the military, and within 12 years he was a field marshal, and found himself in command of the airborne infantry. When he is not busy fighting wars, he lectures extensively on nature issues. He is president of the Roach-Busters Wildlife Conservation Society.

Field Marshal Aaron Lynum (39), General of the Airmobile Infantry. The older brother of Nick Lynum, unlike Nick, he has spent his entire career in the military. He and Nick are both old friends of the Imperator. A military genius, Aaron played a crucial role in the coup d'etat against the totalitarian communist government, and possesses a world-class strategic mind rivaled by few.

Admiral Virgil Nelson (82), Grand Admiral of the Navy. A charismatic, amiable man, he is known for his grandfatherly demeanor, gentlemanly nature, conservative old-fashioned values, and chivalry toward his foes. He is far less strict than most of the other military commanders (his crew fondly refer to him as "Grandpa"), but no less brilliant. Whereas most men grow senile and leaden-minded with the passage of time, Admiral Nelson remains sharp as a tack and mentally alert. He still has a calculating, quick-thinking, ingenious mind, still capable after all these years of formulating winning, fool-proof naval strategies. A highly decorated war hero of WWII, he is also the great-great-uncle of the Imperator.

General Mark "Adam" Baum (59), Marshal of the Air Force. He is the husband of the Imperator's second cousin and a close friend of the Imperator. A former Nobel Prize-winning scientist, he is the inventor of several of the most advanced, cutting-edge, state-of-the-art weapons, vehicles, computers, and other technology, in the world. He has won dozens of prizes, at home and abroad, for his remarkable achievements. With an I.Q. of 263, he is the most intelligent person in Roach-Busters, and is an advisor to defense specialists and scientists responsible for making RB weapons. A popular "top gun," he is one of the greatest aces in history, rivaling even the Red Baron. His squadron has never lost a battle, and often achieves a 40 to 1 kill ratio in battle against the enemy. He has shot down over 400 enemy planes in his lifetime.

Field Marshal Jacob Lambert (46), Commander of Roach-Busters Colonial Forces. Field Marshal Lambert has a long, fruitful, colorful military career. He served in the Foreign Legion for several years (in over twenty countries abroad), the Airmobile Infantry, the Airborne Infantry, and later, the Royal Guard. He is among the most highly-decorated men in the military and is widely regarded as an excellent strategist. He has overall command of all Roach-Busters' colonial military forces.

General Chris Lynch (38), Commander of Paramilitary Operations. He is an old friend of the Imperator, and a key player in the coup that toppled Saddam Insane's totalitarian dictatorship. As a former chief of the Secret Police, a top-ranking B.A.D.G.E. executive, and a former Royal Guardsman, he is scrupulously efficient and a top expert on both military affairs and law enforcement. He oversees the command of all paramilitary forces, for both military and law and order purposes. He is a hard-line government supporter and ardent advocate of Roach-Busterian military supremacy, believing Roach-Busters should have a highly aggressive and interventionist foreign policy. However, being more of a pragmatist than an idealist, he advocates using paramilitary units, proxy armies, mercenaries, etc. in place of the RB military when needed, so RB's involvement will not be disclosed, and so RB soldiers will not be needlessly placed in danger.

General Sundown Hill (45), Commander of the Popular Regional Forces, former exterminator and one of the founders (and current Chief Executive Officer) of Roach-Busters Pest Control. He is not the brightest leader in the military, but he is honest, loyal, hard-working, and performs his job well. He played a major role in the coup that toppled Saddam Insane and is an old friend of the Imperator. He oversees the training and command of the Popular Regional Forces.

Special Assistant for National Security Affairs Aileen Jao (52), one of the Imperator's best friends and closest advisors. One of the most influential and important of the Imperator's advisors, she advises him on everything from international affairs to military strategy to border security. She is a Filipina native and friend of the Imperator's. She is Roman Catholic and quite beautiful, one of the most attractive women in Roach-Busters. She is married with two children. She is physically young (26), thanks to genetic altercations, and will remain so until the day she dies.

Ally Linda (real name Leni Lindawati) (49), the Imperator's personal secretary. Born in East Java, Indonesia, her parents fled Indonesia to escape the dictatorial communist regime of President Sukarno, and settled in Roach-Busters. After Suharto's coup, her family returned to Indonesia, and her parents (and later, her) worked as minor officials in the Indonesian government. After Suharto's regime fell, her family returned to Roach-Busters, where Ally met the Imperator, and they became close friends. Her impeccable memory, hard work, minute attention to detail, loyalty, efficiency, and previous work with the former Indonesian government left a strong impression on the Imperator, and he appointed her his personal secretary. Their relationship was so close he often referred to her half-jokingly as "an unofficial member of the Cabinet." Unlike most Indonesians, Ally is a Christian, not a Muslim. Genetic altercations have allowed her to remain physically young (in her case, 24) for the rest of her life, and retain her mesmerizing beauty.

Lief 'Nong' Meisje (22), Sakaoratt 'Jibsy' Rattanaprugsa (22), and Jaruwan 'Jade' Jaruthanawat (27), the Imperator's maids. Each of them is from Thailand.

Ermine (?), the Imperator's bodyguard. Enigmatic, elusive, and taciturn, he very rarely speaks, and his past has long been shrouded in mystery. Little is known about him, other than the facts that he is unconditionally, almost fanatically, devoted to the Imperator (willing to kill or die for him without even a split second of hesitation), and that he wields uncanny telekinetic powers. He is also proficient in several martial arts styles. None have incurred his wrath and lived to tell about it. His real name is unknown. He is called 'Ermine' because he keeps over one thousand of them as pets.

Rene Rodriguez (Pope Paul VII) (48), Pope of the Roach-Busters Roman Catholic Church. Originally from Mexico, he emigrated to RB as a young man. Wanting to study theology, but low on funds, he joined the military, where he advanced rapidly. To his surprise, he found life in the military quite pleasurable, and remained there for many years, eventually becoming a general. Later, while on leave, he attended a seminary and became a priest. Afterwards, his close friend Imperator J.L. I appointed him Pope.

Chue Vang (42), former Minister of Ideological Hygiene and the architect of "grand political apartheid," the forcible segregation of Roach-Busterians on the basis of their political views. An ultra-rightist, near-fascist, rabid anticommunist, he is both described as an "ideological fanatic," and "a genius whose intellect is matched by few." (His I.Q. is 230.) A dour, silent, cantankerous figure, he rarely smiles, seldom speaks, and is known for having a violent temper. He is one of the most controversial and polarizing figures in all of Roach-Busters. Of him it was once said, "What Hendrik Verwoerd was to racial segregation, Minister Vang is to political segregation." Recently, he passed a controversial law which resulted in bloody riots in the homelands (with a death toll of over 1,000) and caused an international uproar. In response to international pressure, the government relieved him of his post.

Field Marshal Shaun Churchman (36), former General of the Army (excluding the Royal Guard). Born in Irondin in 1969, he emigrated to Roach-Busters as a teenager, and during the years RB was under communism (1984-2004), he led one of many underground resistance movements that fought the government. A phenomenal military strategist and expert in both conventional and unconventional warfare, he was one of the most elusive and feared of the anti-government leaders, and the Marxist authorities hatched dozens of plans to capture him, all of which failed. His small bands of guerrillas often fought entire Army battalions to a standstill, with minimal casualties. During the 2004 coup d'etat, his forces joined with the Generalissimo to oust the communist government. He led the Roach-Busters Army 1st Infantry Division to victory in the war against Socialist Cockroaches, was later appointed commander of all Roach-Busterian forces in Irondin, and later, after Saddam Insane's coup, he went underground and helped foment resistance which successfully toppled Insane. For all his years of distinguished military service, he was made General of the Army, until his retirement. He has since returned to Irondin, where he now serves as ceremonial head of government and commander of the Irondinian armed forces, though he remains a close friend of the Imperator and a staunch ally of Roach-Busters.

General Ardeshir Nassiri (70), four-star general and supreme commander of all Roach-Busterian forces stationed in Parthia. He has a tattoo on his lower back that says "Death to the enemies of Ahura Mazda," and a tattoo on his left bicep of the former Iranian coat of arms (during the time of the Pahlavi dynasty). Born in Iran, he is a citizen of both Roach-Busters and Parthia. Both of his parents were SAVAK agents in Iran, and Nassiri himself closely considered following in their footsteps, but opted instead to join the Iranian Army. He won fame for his suppression of revolts led by extremist Muslims and communists. The Parthian government later stationed him in RB; he liked the country so much, he decided to stay, and chose to be a citizen of both countries. He speaks fluent English, Thai, Farsi, Filipino, Arabic, Hebrew, Japanese, Tagalog, and Cebuano. He is married and has seven children and sixteen grandchildren. He was named in honor of Shah Ardeshir of Parthia.

Sassan Pahlavi (30), RB ambassador to Parthia. He is a second cousin of General Ardeshir Nassiri.

Jamere Brown (22), RB ambassador to Generic empire.

Shirley Borman (34), RB ambassador to Borman Empire.

Dean McCarthy (42), member of the Patriot Party, former Senator, and current ambassador to Doomingsland.

Károlos Papadopoulos (29), RB ambassador to Nikolaos the Great.

Ister Ali (25), RB ambassador to Ottoman Khaif. Somali-born and a devout (but moderate) Muslim.

Scott Lepper (51), cousin of the Generalissimo and ambassador to Irondin.

Sheng Khang (20), ambassador to Shenyang. A former prostitute and wildly popular porn star, she was arrested at the age of 16 and sentenced to ten years' community service (prostitution and pornography are both illegal in RB). She decided to work as a secretary in the RB embassy in Shenyang, where she earned a reputation as a hard worker, and impressed J.L. so much he later appointed her ambassador. Though she still wears suggestive, provocative outfits, she has renounced her "old life," is now the doting mother of a three-year-old daughter born out of wedlock, and has vowed to never have sex again before marriage. Her measurements are 36DD-24-34. She holds the world record for the most times someone has had sex in 24 hours (1,500) and the most partners ever (100,000+).

Otto Farmer (40), former nuclear physics researcher and current ambassador to Farmina.

Lonnie Marcus (24), a half-human, half-vampire and ambassador to The Transylvania.

Farnham Lyme (37), ambassador to Green Sun.

Max Ercassam (27), former assassin and current ambassador to Ruthless Slaughter.

Dr. Phil Somoza (42), Ph.D., former psychologist and failed talk-show host, he is a Nicaraguan immigrant to RB. He is a devout Roman Catholic and speaks fluent English, Thai, Farsi, Filipino, and Spanish. He is the current RB ambassador to The Lightning Star.

William Johnson (32), ambassador to Holy Paradise.

Dr. Curtis Connors (37), former ambassador to Pacitalia. He served as a surgeon in the Army, but lost part of his arm in a battle and retired. He then became a scientist, studying reptiles (specifically, the ability of lizards to regenerate) and hoping to devise a serum that would allow humans to regenerate. However, he was interrupted in the middle of his research by his assignment to Pacitalia as ambassador. He was later declared persona non grata. He has since resumed his studies.

Stu Riley (40), ambassador to Kordo.

Asami Fusegi (22), ambassador to the Reunited States of America/The Real ALM. Ranked 2nd Most Beautiful Roach-Busterian by RB People magazine. Currently dating Marshal Shaun Churchman

Jake Long (13), ambassador to MassPwnage.

Monica Baccam (35), ambassador to Moronyicka. She is the daughter of Laotian immigrants who fled Laos during the Pathet Lao takeover.

Jasmine Borrega (24), ambassador to Jagonia. Extremely beautiful, she is of Philippine origin and is a friend of the Generalissimo's.

Terry Sarzo (28), former ambassador to Sarzonia, until President Mike Sarzo declared him persona non grata.

Logan Rativral (59), ambassador to Layarteb.

Yvonne Marcus (22), ambassador to Ybronneb.

Eve Yang (21), ambassador to Jordaxia.

Jared Flint (29), ambassador to Avadria.

Chancellor Calvin Cyprian, Jr. (Deceased), head of government of Roach-Busters and best friend of the Imperator, as well as his most trusted advisor. Cyprian and the Imperator have been best friends since pre-adolescence, later joined the military together, and fought side-by-side in theaters of battle across the globe, saving each others' lives more times than anyone can remember and gaining reputations as tough, cool-under-pressure, fearless soldiers with a strong sense of team unity and the ability to persevere and succeed no matter the odds. Calvin's role in the coup d'etat which brought his best friend to power cannot be overstated. Without his help, no doubt the coup would have failed. Calvin is a superb politician, with a fierce tenacity and astute tactical mind, and, due in part to his elephantine intellect and savvy political skills, he has complete domination over the National Assembly. A consummate lady's man, Calvin is considered one of the most handsome men in Roach-Busters, and has to have over a dozen bodyguards accompany him everywhere to ward off hordes of screaming girls. He is married to former supermodel Amanda Howard. His father, Calvin Cyprian, Sr., is Chief of Staff of the Air Force. Although the Chancellor was never in the Air Force, like his father, he is a top-notch pilot. He was arrested for corruption (he stole nearly a trillion dollars from the treasury), put on trial, found guilty, and executed by firing squad.

First Lady Thiensiri 'Jub' Theveenugul-Latimer (Deceased), second wife of the Imperator. She was born in Bangkok, Thailand (thus, Thai is her first language) and met the Imperator when he was 19 and she was 21. They married a year later, and she moved to Roach-Busters. She has PhDs in Culinary Arts, Asian Culture, Roach-Busterian Culture, Ecotourism, Asian History, Roach-Busterian History, and Thai History. She is 5'1", 119 lb. Her blood type is B. Her birthdate is June 2, 1957. Her I.Q. is 149 and her religion is Buddhism. Thanks to cutting-edge medical technology devised by Mark "Adam" Baum and her brother (the Minister of Health) Poj Theveenugul, she is physically 22 years old and will never age. Hence, she not only looked 22, but her body is the same as it was when she was 22, and will remain so until the day she dies. She is almost unanimously considered to be the most beautiful woman in Roach-Busters.

Saddam Insane (Deceased), former dictator of Roach-Busters. A member of the (now defunct) Warmonger Party and secret ally of the Red Dragons, he staged a bloody coup d'etat in the middle of a presidential election, and seized control of Roach-Busters, establishing a totalitarian, Stalinist dictatorship that imprisoned, tortured, and slaughtered millions of people, made RB an international pariah, and decimated RB's economy. A coalition of disgruntled civilians, exiled RB soldiers, and RB's close allies toppled Insane, executed him, and returned J.L. to power.

General Creighton Eastmoreland (Deceased), former dictator of Roach-Busters. One of the highest-ranking generals in RB history, he fought with great distinction and bravery as the supreme commander of RB forces in the Holy Paradisian Civil War. Later, however, he embraced radical political views, ousted the Imperator in a bloodless coup, and became an unpopular, ultra-leftist tyrant whose reign was bloody and short-lived. After being deposed in a counter-coup, he was executed by Roach-Busterian and Parthian authorities.

Captain Erik Swoverland (Deceased), war criminal. After an earthquake devastated RB City and took thousands of lives, Captain Erik Swoverland was appointed military governor of one of the city's districts. Thoroughly corrupt and rapacious, he personally pilfered most of the foreign aid that was sent to his district for the relief effort. Once his actions were discovered, he seized a school hostage and killed several children, demanding that he be allowed to leave the country in peace, in return for the childrens' safety. He was finally captured by Borman soldiers, put on trial, and executed by Doomingslandian mercenary/bounty hunter/assassin Skar.

Dr. Norm Chompski (75), former professor of linguistics at the Roach-Busters Institute of Technology (RBIT) and an outspoken, highly controversial political activist famous (or infamous, depending on one's perspective) for his extremist left-wing views, scathing denunciations of Roach-Busterian foreign policy, and his boldly outspoken hostility and opposition to the RB government. He has authored many books, including The Chompski Reader, Imperial Aspirations, What Papa J.L. Really Wants, Rogue Nations, and Hegemony or Survival: Roach-Busters's Quest for Global Dominance. He has been arrested, detained, and harassed dozens of times over the years by the government, and is almost unanimously hated by Roach-Busterians. Many times he nearly died at the hands of angry mobs. Ironically, it was intervention on the part of the government that has kept him alive all these years, as the government fears the possibility of him dying and becoming a martyr. However, the condition of his protection was that he refrain from political activism. For many years he seemed to comply, when he was actually busy working on his newest project, Hegemony or Survival, which was published abroad and illegally distributed throughout Roach-Busters. He is currently living in exile in Pacitalia.

Eva Lui-Latimer (Deceased), first wife of Imperator J.L. I. She was born in Hong Kong. Sadly, she died of a serious illness just a few months after she and the Imperator were married.

Morton 'Hoggie' Weldstan (64), former member of the National Assembly and ex-leader of the Moderate Party (renamed the United Federal Party). He was known for his powerful oratorical skills, hot temper, extreme obstinance, and unequivocal opposition to every single one of the Generalissimo's policies. He was eventually imprisoned for alleged subversion.

Dr. Haldore Huggins (70), former Roach-Busters University Professor of International Relations. He is the author of over fifty books on Roach-Busterian foreign policy, and has lectured at hundreds of college campuses worldwide. His past record as a heavy drinker and womanizer, as well as allegations that he is a communist agent, make him unpopular among right-wingers. He is known for his blunt, laconic, concise lectures, his outspoken and unequivocal opposition to Imperator J.L. I’s regime, and his membership in the Movement for Democracy in Roach-Busters organization. He has been married six times, has one daughter, and is one of the most controversial and divisive figures in RB history. He is currently in exile in Nellisland.

Ronald 'Ron' Trafton (85), multi-trillionaire and president, CEO, and founder of dozens of multi-billion dollar corporations, including all the major companies that supply the Roach-Busterian military. He was the best friend of the Imperator’s late grandfather.

Walter Krankheit (71), anchorman of Roach-Busters National News Network. The recipient of several prizes for excellence in journalism, he enjoys high ratings and soaring popularity. He is acclaimed for his concise, honest, accurate, unbiased reporting, his plain-spokenness, and his inoffensive, middle-of-the-road political views.

Amanda Cyprian (maiden name Howard) (36), wife of Prime Minister Calvin Cyprian and an ex-super model. She is 5'3", 100 lb., and has brown hair and brown eyes. Her measurements are 34C-23-33.

Amelia Featherston (0), daughter of Rinoa and Jake Featherston. Granddaughter of Imperator J.L. I and the late First Lady Thiensiri Theveenugul-Latimer.

Katherine Moua (0), daughter of Chong Moua and Kimiko A. Moua.

Joshua Moua (0), son of Chong Moua and Kimiko A. Moua, fraternal twin brother of Katherine. Named in honor of the Imperator.

Imperator J.L. I (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Generalissimo.jpg)

Imperator J.L. I (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Generalissimo2.jpg)

Imperator J.L. I (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Generalissimo3.jpg)

Imperator J.L. I (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Generalissimo4.jpg)

Imperator J.L. I (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Generalissimo5.jpg)

Imperator J.L. I (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Generalissimo6.jpg)

Imperator J.L. I (standing, left) (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Generalissimo_in_parade.jpg)

Imperator J.L. I (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/jl_again.jpg)

Imperator J.L. I (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/sick_jl.jpg)

Imperator J.L. I (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/jl_seated.jpg)

Imperator J.L. I (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/young_jl.jpg)

Empress Christine, 3rd (current) wife (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Christine.jpg)

Crown Prince Anastasio Somoza Latimer (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Anastasio_Latimer.jpg)

Prince Alfredo Stroessner Latimer (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Alfredo_Latimer.jpg)

Princess Lina Latimer (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Lina_Latimer.jpg)

Princess Rinoa Latimer-Featherston (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Rinoa.jpg)

Minister of War Lester Lindsey (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Lindsey.jpg)

Foreign Minister Chong Moua (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Chong_Moua.jpg)

Chief Magistrate Terris Fitten (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Terris_Fitten.jpg)

Minister of Public Order Chia Neng Lee (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Chia.jpg)

Minister of Information and Press Jurilyn Devero (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Jurilyn_Devero.jpg)

Minister of Economics Jeffrey Priessler (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Jeffrey_Priessler.jpg)

Head of B.A.D.G.E. Donald McRaven (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Donald_McRaven.jpg)

Minister of Commerce and Trade Vincent DeLusia (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Vince_DeLusia.jpg)

Minister of the Treasury Scott Storla (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Storla.jpg)

Minister of Internal Affairs Eunice Villanueva (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/eunice.jpg)

Minister of Colonial Affairs Ella Villagracia (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Ella_Villagracia.jpg)

Chief of the General Staff Cody Jennings (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Cody.jpg)

General of the Special Imperial Guard Kevin Orozco (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Orozco.jpg)

General of the Royal Guard Terrel Fitten (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Terrel.jpg)

General of the Infantry Aelee Yang (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Aelee_Yang.jpg)

General of the Armor Carlos LaFrance (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/LaFrance.jpg)

General of the Airborne Infantry Nick Lynum (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Nick.jpg)

General of the Airmobile Infantry Aaron Lynum (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Aaron.jpg)

Grand Admiral of the Navy Virgil Nelson (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Admiral_Nelson.jpg)

Marshal of the Air Force Mark "Adam" Baum (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Adam_Baum.jpg)

Commander of Roach-Busters Colonial Forces Jacob Lambert (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Lambert.jpg)

Commander of Paramilitary Operations Chris Lynch (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Chris_Lynch.jpg)

Commander of the Popular Regional Forces Sundown Hill (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Sundown_Hill.jpg)

Special Assistant for National Security Affairs Aileen Jao (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Aileen_Jao.jpg)

Ally Linda (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/AllyLinda.jpg)

Lief 'Nong' Meisje (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/ntitled.jpg), Sakaoratt 'Jibsy' Rattanaprugsa (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/jib.jpg), and Jaruwan 'Jade' Jaruthanawat (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/jade.jpg)

Ermine (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/redguy.jpg)

Pope Paul VII (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Pope_Paul_VII.jpg)

Ex-Minister of Ideological Hygiene Chue Vang (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Chue.jpg)

Former General of the Infantry Shaun Churchman (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/S_Churchman.jpg)

Ex-Chancellor Calvin Cyprian, Jr. (Deceased) (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Calvin_Cyprian_Jr.jpg)

First Lady Thiensiri Theveenugul-Latimer, 2nd wife (Deceased) (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/The_First_Lady.jpg)

Saddam Insane (Deceased) (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Saddam_Insane.jpg)

General Creighton Eastmoreland (Deceased) (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Creighton_Eastmoreland.jpg)

Captain Erik Swoverland (Deceased) (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Swoverland.jpg)

Dr. Norm Chompski (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Chompski.jpg)

First Lady Eva Lui-Latimer, 1st wife (Deceased) (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Eva.jpg)

Former Congressman Morton "Hoggie" Weldstan (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Morton_Weldstan.jpg)

Dr. Haldore Huggins (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Huggins.jpg)

Walter Krankheit (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Krankheit.jpg)

Ron Trafton (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Ron.jpg)

The Imperator's Personality Cult


The Evening News

Everyday at 6:00 P.M., nearly every Roach-Busterian, man, woman, and child, turned on the TV to watch Roach-Busters National News Network, which proudly boasted that it was "the most trusted name in government-approved news." Before the news began, a brief cinema, only a few minutes long, was shown.

On the TV screen were shown snapshots of starving, overworked inmates slaving away in gulags, massacred, mutilated bodies outside concentration camps, cities set aflame and ravaged by chaos, crime, and lawlessness. People, old and young, eroded by disease. Emaciated, skeletal figures dropping dead of hunger in the middle of shoddy, unpaved roads. Children disabled by landmines. A gloating tyrant swimming in a pool of gold coins, while his slaves were whipped, beaten, and humiliated.

On the screen, these solemn words appeared, accompanied by a haunting musical score: THIS IS A ROACH-BUSTERS WITHOUT IMPERATOR J.L. I

Then, a pillar of light blasted through the dark, sinister overhead clouds, and suffused the land in a shimmering, gentle glow of hope. Descending from the heavens, emanating an aura of invincibility, was Imperator J.L. I, who landed on the ground, and spread his arms apart, causing all those with vile hearts to disintegrate in a bloodless burst of golden stardust. The Imperator slowly waved his hand, and there was a brilliant white light. When it faded, all citizens found themselves well-clothed, their ailments cured, their flimsy shacks replaced with clean, modest, air-conditioned homes, well stocked with food, clean water, and medicine. People fell on their knees and bowed to the Imperator who smiled modestly, and said, "Do not bow to me. I am only doing my duty. I am only doing what is right." The people rose, but still their eyes took on a hue of idolatry, of worship. The Imperator silently made his way into the city, where he snapped his fingers, and, in a heartbeat, turned the rat-infested, crime-ridden, decrepit, disease-ridden hellhole into a scrupulously clean, crime-free, disease-less, robust city, full of immense skyscrapers, happy and healthy people, expensive cars, and sunshine all around. Communists withered to dust. The Imperator then confronted the unnamed dictator, who drew a machine gun. He began firing. All the bullets ricocheted off the Imperator, hitting the dictator and filling him full of lead. He collapsed into a bloody heap, the last of his life fading from his body. The Imperator was greeted by huge parades, with citizens waving flags, girls swooning, children giggling.

The following words appeared: THIS IS A ROACH-BUSTERS WITH IMPERATOR J.L. I

The camera zoomed in on a cute, chubby-cheeked, buck-toothed four-year-old boy with a face dotted with freckles and carrot-colored hair. "I'm proud to have Imperator J.L. I as my leader," he said, with unabashed glee.

As the screen faded, a final message appeared: LIFE IS SWELL, WITH IMPERATOR J.L. I

Once the message faded, the evening news came on.



City Life

In every city, large and small, 8 out of 10 billboards featured the Imperator's portrait. He was always shown in his military attire, beaming like a proud father. Various billboards had messages saying, "Papa J.L. loves his children very, very much"; "Smile! The Imperator is watching"; "Imperator J.L. I is your friend." Some portraits showed the Imperator, with the afore-mentioned red-headed boy in his lap. In a cartoon bubble, the kid was saying, "I love you, Papa!"

Most stores, banks, museums, movie theaters, orchestra halls, sports stadiums, etc. prominently displayed the Imperator's portrait as well.

Every five minutes, loudspeakers would blare, "Smile! The Imperator is watching," "Imperator J.L. I is your friend," or "Papa J.L. loves his children very, very much."



School

In every school, from preschool to college, whether the school was public or private, students were required to pledge allegiance to Imperator J.L. I at the beginning of the day, right before recess, right after recess, and before going home. Every student was required to wear a school uniform which was an exact duplicate of the Imperator's signature black armor, except with a small lapel bearing his portrait was added. Each textbook, whether the subject was math, science, history, or English, showed a picture of a smiling Imperator J.L. I on the front, with the message: "Papa J.L. loves his children very, very much."



Government

Like school children, all government officials, whether they were members of the National Assembly, military officials, or whatever, were also required to wear 'uniforms,' with lapels of the Imperator's portrait. Like children, they were also required to pledge allegiance to the Imperator four times every work day. However, unlike children, they were also required to salute every portrait of the Imperator that they passed.



Other

Citizens were required by law to own at least one portrait of the Imperator.

Among the Imperator's official titles were: Father of the Nation; Savior of Mankind; Supreme Combatant; Invincible Warrior; Grand Designer; Great Strategist; Dearly Beloved Leader; and Loving Papa.

Roach-Busters Armed Forces High Command
Commander-in-Chief: Imperator J.L. I
Chief of the General Staff: Field Marshal Cody Jennings
General of the Special Imperial Guard: Field Marshal Kevin Orozco
General of the Royal Guard: Field Marshal Terrel Fitten
General of the Infantry: Field Marshal Aelee Yang
General of the Armor: Field Marshal Carlos LaFrance
General of the Airborne Infantry: Field Marshal Nick Lynum
General of the Airmobile Infantry: Field Marshal Aaron Lynum
Grand Admiral of the Navy: Admiral Virgil Nelson
Marshal of the Air Force: General Mark Baum
Commander of Roach-Busters Colonial Forces: Field Marshal Jacob Lambert
Commander of Paramilitary Operations: General Chris Lynch
Commander of the Popular Regional Forces: General Sundown Hill



Issue equipment:

Assault rifle - DR-83 21st Century Tactical Rifle (but sometimes the M-31A1 Advanced Lightweight Assault Rifle or the GIR-47 Heavy Assault Rifle, depending on which one is deemed appropriate for the task at hand)
Side weapons - M-12 .45 Caliber Automatic Pistol, Gladius Doomanus (Doomingsland Long Knife), and DE-71 "Hornet" Fragmentation Grenades
Advanced marksman's rifle - DRS-78 Designated Marksman Weapon
Machine gun - DMG-250 GPMG
Grenade launcher - ACU-350 20mm grenade launcher (attached to the M-31A1)
Squad Automatic Weapon - DMG-30 SAW
Flame-thrower - M-103 Lightweight Self-Contained Flame Thrower
Standard weapon for all vehicle crews, pilots, etc. - DAC-91A1 Submachine Gun
Body armor - Lorica Moderna Body Armor (except for the SIG, which uses the BDU-64 Samson Battle Suit)
Face protection - Ballistic/Laser Protective Spectacles


3 Special Imperial Guard (SIG) Divisions (each made up of 15,000 Special Imperial Guardsmen, transported by DC-117A Scimitar Dropships, with 300 Metal Slug MK II tanks, 450 Portland Armored Reconnaisance Vehicle/Light Tanks, 1,250 DM-43 Velite Armored Scout Cars, 750 VBL2/4 Utility Vehicles, 750 M151 Multi-Utility Tactical Trucks, 500 Magistrate 2 Heavy Artillery/Nuclear Artillery Cannons, 500 Bratwurst Heavy Infantry Guns, 500 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 500 M-48 Chapparral Mobile SAM Launchers, 500 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, 1,500 NPM-A SPW-05 Armored Assault Guns, and 1,000 400mm Coastal Rail Guns, all provided aerial support by AC-130D Gunships) (note: the SIG is tasked with defending the Generalissimo and his estate; they are the best-paid, best-trained, and best-equipped units in the entire RB military)



Royal Guard (RG) units (total of 2,644,700 soldiers, if you include medics, vehicle crews, artillery crews, AA weapon crews, vehicle repairmen, etc.) (note: The name 'Royal Guard' is from Final Fantasy IV)

30 Royal Guard Armored Divisions (Each made up of 15,000 grenadiers, 500 DM-41A1 Caeser MBTs, 1,750 M35A1 Testudo Next Generation IFVs, 500 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 500 M-48 Chapparral mobile SAM launchers, 500 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, 100 ILAAA Strykers, 100 Munich Mobile Anti-tank Vehicles, 50 M88A2 Heavy Recovery Vehicles, 50 XM7 Fire Support Team Vehicles, 100 Light Armored Vehicle-Mortars, and 300 assorted reconnaissance vehicles)

30 Royal Guard Mechanized Divisions (Each made up of 15,000 heavy infantry, 175 DM-41A1 Caeser MBTs, 1,250 M35A1 Testudo Next Generation IFVs, 1,250 G-120 APCs, 500 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 500 M-48 Chapparral mobile SAM launchers, 500 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, 100 ILAAA Strykers, 100 Munich Mobile Anti-tank Vehicles, 50 M88A2 Heavy Recovery Vehicles, 50 XM7 Fire Support Team Vehicles, 100 Light Armored Vehicle-Mortars, and 300 assorted reconnaissance vehicles)

18 Royal Guard State Security Divisions (Each made up of 15,000 MPs, 150 DM-41A1 Caeser MBTs, 200 M35A1 Testudo Next Generation IFVs, 200 G-120 APCs, 1,500 DM-43 Velite Armored Scout Cars, 250 IPO-35 Badger Light Scout Vehicles, 250 R-1255 Urban Combat Vehicles, 500 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 500 M-48 Chapparral mobile SAM launchers, 500 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, 100 ILAAA Strykers, 100 Munich Mobile Anti-tank Vehicles, 50 M88A2 Heavy Recovery Vehicles, 50 XM7 Fire Support Team Vehicles, 100 Light Armored Vehicle-Mortars, and 300 assorted reconnaissance vehicles)

5 Royal Guard Cavalry Companies (Each made up of 100 cavalrymen and horses, RPG-7s, M-72 LAWs, mortars, and assorted light arms and shoulder-mounted weapons)

9 Royal Guard Special Forces Regiments (Each made up of 2,500 special operators, 100 R-1255 Urban Combat Vehicles, 200 MT-280 "Desert Foxes", 200 ST-280 "Arctic Foxes," 150 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 150 M-48 Chapparral mobile SAM launchers, 150 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, and 75 assorted reconnaissance vehicles)

8 Royal Guard Super Elite Divisions (Each made up of 15,000 elite infantry, 750 DM-41A1 Caeser MBTs, 2,500 M35A1 Testudo Next Generation IFVs, 2,500 G-120 APCs, 500 Magistrate 2 Heavy Artillery/Nuclear Artillery Cannons, 500 Bratwurst Heavy Infantry Guns, 750 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 750 M-48 Chapparral mobile SAM launchers, 750 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, 200 ILAAA Strykers, 200 Munich Mobile Anti-tank Vehicles, 100 M88A2 Heavy Recovery Vehicles, 100 XM7 Fire Support Team Vehicles, 200 Light Armored Vehicle-Mortars, and 500 assorted reconnaissance vehicles)


Regular Army units

250 Infantry Divisions (Each made up of 15,000 heavy infantry, transported by Chevy 750 Technical Trucks and M1035 Hummers, with 150 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 150 M-48 Chapparral mobile SAM launchers, 150 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, and 200 assorted reconnaissance vehicles)

40 Airborne Infantry Divisions (Each made up of 15,000 paratroopers, transported by MV-68D Banshee II Light VTOL Transports, 1,500 M1035 Hummers, and 400 M1078 Standard Cargo Trucks, provided back-up by 100 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 100 M-48 Chapparral mobile SAM launchers, and 100 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery)

40 Airmobile Infantry Divisions (Each made up of 15,000 light infantry, transported by MV-68D Banshee II Light VTOL Transports, provided aerial support by 200 UH-60 Black Hawks and 200 RAH-66 Comanches, with ground support provided by 50 ILAAA Strykers and 50 XM7 Fire Support Team Vehicles)

30 Mechanized Infantry Divisions (Each made up of 15,000 heavy infantry, 750 M35A1 Testudo Next Generation IFVs, 750 G-120 APCs, 150 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 150 M-48 Chapparral mobile SAM launchers, 150 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, 50 ILAAA Strykers, 50 Munich Mobile Anti-tank Vehicles, 25 M88A2 Heavy Recovery Vehicles, 25 XM7 Fire Support Team Vehicles, 100 Light Armored Vehicle-Mortars, and 200 assorted reconnaissance vehicles)

70 Armored Divisions (Each made up of 15,000 grenadiers, 500 DM-41A1 Caeser MBTs, 1,750 M35A1 Testudo Next Generation IFVs, 150 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 150 M-48 Chapparral mobile SAM launchers, 150 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, 50 ILAAA Strykers, 50 Munich Mobile Anti-tank Vehicles, 25 M88A2 Heavy Recovery Vehicles, 25 XM7 Fire Support Team Vehicles, 100 Light Armored Vehicle-Mortars, and 200 assorted reconnaissance vehicles)

20 Foreign Legion Divisions (Each made up of 15,000 paratroopers, transported by MV-68D Banshee II Light VTOL Transports, 1,500 M1035 Hummers, and 400 M1078 Standard Cargo Trucks, provided back-up by 100 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 100 M-48 Chapparral mobile SAM launchers, 100 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, and 2 ATTACK Brigades)

50 All-Terrain Tactical Assault Combat Kriegers (ATTACK) Brigades (Each made up of 5,000 special operators. Think of them as Green Berets, U.S. Navy SEALs, and Rhodesian Selous Scouts all rolled into one, except trained to a much higher standard. They specialize in fighting on land, in the sea, or in the air, and specialize in maritime insurrection, counter-terrorism operations, and unconventional warfare. They are trained to a much higher standard than any other soldiers in the entire RB military, with the exceptions of RG Super Elite and the Special Imperial Guard. ATTACK operators are transported by MV-68D Banshee II Light VTOL Transports, provided ground support by 300 assorted artillery [either self-propelled or towed] and aerial support by 200 UH-60 Black Hawks and 200 RAH-66 Comanches)

1,000 Reserve Divisions (Each made up of 15,000 light infantry, transported by Chevy 750 Technical Trucks and M1035 Hummers, with 150 M109A6 'Paladin' self-propelled howitzers, 150 M-48 Chapparral mobile SAM launchers, 150 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, and 200 assorted reconnaissance vehicles)


Irregular Army units

5,000 Popular Regional Forces Battalions (each made up of 1,000 peasants, trained for about a month, and provided with light arms, rations, ammunition, assorted light transport and reconnaissance vehicles. Their main purpose is to protect rural areas, and they are trained mostly for human wave attacks. Over 85% of the Popular Regional Forces are women, children, the elderly, and others unfit for military service. They are never sent into battle, because again, their main purpose is keeping their homes safe from terrorists.)

500 Shooban Kamikaze Battalions (each made up of 1,000 Shoobans, with explosives attached, who are sent on suicide missions against the enemy)

500 Turta Kamikaze Battalions (each made up of 1,000 Turtas, with explosives attached, who are sent on suicide missions against the enemy)


B.A.D.G.E. (Note: B.A.D.G.E. is both the military arm of the Ministries of Justice, Police, and State Security, and the military's branch of spies, saboteurs, assassins, etc.; each department is divided up into several branches, each made up of 500 officers)

[b]Department of National Police (DNP): 2,500,000 officers (5,000 branches)
Department of Secret Police (DSP): 75,000 officers (150 branches)
Department of Military Police (DMP): 2,500,000 officers (5,000 branches)
Department of Population Control (DPC): 100,000 officers (200 branches)
Department of Domestic Intelligence (DDI): 7,500 officers (15 branches)
Department of International Intelligence (DII): 225,000 officers (450 branches)
Governmental Espionage Agency (GEA): 5,000 officers (10 branches)
Royal Guard Intelligence Operations Corps (RGIOC): 100,000 officers (200 branches)
Department of Army Intelligence (DAI): 50,000 officers (100 branches)
Department of Naval Intelligence (DNI): 50,000 officers (100 branches)
Department of Air Force Intelligence (DAFI): 50,000 officers (100 branches)
Department of Enemy Elimination (DEE): 5,000 officers (10 branches)
Bureau for the Repression of Communist Activities (BRCA): 12,000 officers (24 branches)
Department of Thought Reform (DTF): 5,000 officers (10 branches)
Total Number of B.A.D.G.E. officers: 5,709,500 officers (11,419 branches)


Navy (total of 9,465 ships)
100 Azores class fast attack craft
1,250 Dominance-class Trimaran AA destroyers
1,250 Conquest-class Trimaran ASW frigates
1,000 LHA-1 Tarawa class amphibious assault ships
250 LHD-1 Wasp class landing ships
250 LHD-49 Harpers Ferry class landing ships
200 Virginia class fast attack submarines
200 Tennessee class conventionally-powered submarines
200 Sea Snake class attack submarines
200 Dolphin class submarines
5 Zealous class super dreadnaughts
10 Helldawg V-class Trimaran heavy carriers (each with 175 F-78F King Demons Next Generation Air Superiority Fighters)
10 Tyrant class battleships
10 Alliance class super cruisers
10 Imperium-class invasion dreadnaughts
50 Pistrix-class SSANs
100 Hornet-class amphibious assault ships
25 Apostle-class Trimaran large cruisers
25 Guardian-class SSBN/SSGNs
20 Legionaire-class command dreadnaughts
100 Prowler-class SSNs
40 Alfredo Stroessner class carriers (each with 175 F-45 'Sharkishki' Multi-Role Fighters [Naval Fighter Version])
40 Leopoldo Galtieri class guided missile battleships
300 Texarkana class helicopter carriers (each with 25 SH-60 LAMPS MK III Seahawks)
100 Lotam class command battleships
100 Executor class combat logistics ships
15 Gettysburg class guided missile battleships
15 Coral Sea class guided missile light battleships
50 Twain class coastal battleships
300 Farragut DDGs
175 CG-59 Volcano class arsenal ships
1,500 Perrigon class minesweepers
200 Portos class catamarans
100 Ohio SSGNs
100 Wasp II class LHDs
80 Quantum class amphibious multi-role command ships
185 Christian Baarnard class hospital ships
300 Saar MK-Vs
600 Rothsky class anti-submarine destroyers


Royal Air Force, "Red Wings" (total of 98,500 aircraft)
10,000 TSF-620A "Xeon" Air Superiority Fighters
10,000 TSF-620B "Xeon" Air Superiority Fighter (navalized version)
1,000 TEF-622 "Sparrow" Multi-Role Fighter (Electronic Warfare version)
1,000 GF11 Archer Tactical Reconnaissance Unmanned Aerial Vehicles
1,000 TSF-616 "Eidolon" Air Superiority Fighters
1,000 SuF-5 Lion Multi-Role Fighters
1,000 IPO-70 Conqueror Helicopter Gunships
1,000 Lu-27 Condor Interceptors
1,000 SH-60 LAMPS MK III Seahawks
1,500 TC-2000 "Dark Nova" Heavy Assault Transport Helicopters
12,000 UH-60 Black Hawks
12,000 RAH-66 Comanches
1,000 MV-68D Banshee II Light VTOL Transports
2,500 F-45 "Sharkishki" Multi-Role Fighters (Naval Fighter version)
2,500 F-45 "Sharkishki" Multi-Role Fighters (Naval Trainer version)
2,500 F-45 "Sharkishki" Multi-Role Fighters (Ground Attack version)
1,500 KC-135 Stratotankers
1,500 KC-10A Extenders
1,500 KC-130 Hercules
1,500 E-3C Sentry Aircraft
2,000 SZ-5 "Snarl" Electronics Warfare Aircraft
2,000 SZ-4 "Warbird" Long-Range Strategic Bombers
2,500 B-2 Spirits
2,500 B-9 Vexore Bombers
2,500 B-9 Sphinxes
3,000 B-47s
3,000 B-52s
1,000 AC-10 "Rockhopper Penguin" Attack Helicopters
1,000 AC-20 "Penguin" Attack Helicopters
1,000 AC-50 "Emperor Penguin" Attack Helicopters
1,000 AC-70 "Mountain Penguin" Scout-Attack Helicopters
2,000 CH-54B "Skycrane" Cargo Helicopters
2,000 SH-65A "Dolphin" ASW/Utility Helicopters
2,000 SZ-6 "Pegasus" Search and Rescue Helicopters


Nuclear Weapons (note: I never use nukes when I RP)
50 silo systems (each with 5 separate silos, each with a capacity of 10 LGM-118A Peacekeepers; it also allows one to house a military staff of up to 600, and has an equipment terminal, a control centre with over 10 different types of failsafe technologies and several antannaes as well as a powerstation on site to back it up)
100 LGM-56A Apocalyptic Fury Theatre Ballistic Missile Launchers (total of 100,000 Apocalyptic Fury Theatre Ballistic Missiles)
33 Hellas IV Thermonuclear Bombs
15 Hellas V Thermonuclear Bombs
5 Hellas VI (E) Fusion Bombs
500 dirty bombs
5,000 hydrogen bombs
10,000 atomic bombs
10,000 LGM-30 Minuteman IIIs
10,000 LGM-118A Peacekeepers
1,000 MGM-134A Midgetman SICBMs
1,000 Apostle Class MIRV ICBMs
10,000 Jupiter-C IRBMs
100,000 BGM-140 Katana Supersonic Cruise Missiles
100,000 AGM-131 SRAM 2s
100,000 AGM-129 ACMs
100,000 B83 (Short range gravity bomb)s
100,000 B61 (Short range gravity bomb)s
10,000 'Pericles' Ground Launch Vehicles (each carrying 1 Alexander MRBM and attached with a 'Plato II' MLRS adapted for biological warfare)


Chemical/Biological Weapons
1,000,000 kilograms of anthrax
1,000,000 kilograms of mustard gas
1,000,000 kilograms of VX nerve gas
1,000,000 kilograms of Gabon nerve gas
1,000,000 kilograms of rabies virus
1,000,000 kilograms of Soman (GD) Nerve Agent
1,000,000 kilograms of Phosgene (CG) Pulmonary/Choking Agent
1,000,000 kilograms of Nitrogen Mustard (HN-2) Blister Agent
1,000,000 kilograms of Mustard/Lewisite (HL) Blister Agent (Mixture)
1,000,000 kilograms of Lewisite (L) Blister Agent
1,000,000 kilograms of Hydrogen Cyanide (AC) Blood Agent
1,000,000 kilograms of Tabun (GA) Nerve Agent
1,000,000 kilograms of GB-Nerve/Sarin Gas
1,000,000 kilograms of VX Nerve Agent
1,000,000 kilograms of Ebola Hemorrhagic Fever
1,000,000 kilograms of Rift Valley Fever
1,000,000 kilograms of Venezuelan Equine Encephalitis
1,000,000 kilograms of Human Immunodefiency Virus
1,000,000 kilograms of bubonic plague
1,000,000 kilograms of septicemic plague
1,000,000 kilograms of pneumonic plague
1,000,000 kilograms of dysentery
1,000,000 kilograms of cholera
1,000,000 kilograms of influenza
1,000,000 kilograms of Hepatitis A
1,000,000 kilograms of Hepatitis B
1,000,000 kilograms of Hepatitis C
1,000,000 kilograms of malaria
1,000,000 kilograms of viral encephalitis
1,000,000 kilograms of bacterial meningitis
1,000,000 kilograms of poliomyelitis
1,000,000 kilograms of tetanus
1,000,000 kilograms of smallpox
1,000,000 kilograms of rubella
1,000,000 kilograms of measles
1,000,000 kilograms of chicken pox
1,000,000 kilograms of botulism
1,000,000 kilograms of the common cold
1,000,000 kilograms of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease
1,000,000 kilograms of gonorrhea
1,000,000 kilograms of herpes vulgaris
1,000,000 kilograms of syphilis
1,000,000 kilograms of acne rosacea
1,000,000 kilograms of amebiasis
1,000,000 kilograms of Chagas disease
1,000,000 kilograms of chlamydia trachomatis


Non-Nuclear Missiles
10,000 'Famistocles' Class Cruise Missiles
100,000 GWS.58 Hurricane multi-purpose SAMs
100,000 Type-V7Q1 (smart bomb)s
100,000 Type-V7Q2 (smart bomb)s
100,000 Type-V7Q3 (smart bomb)s
100,000 Type-V7Q4 (smart bomb)s
100,000 Type-V7Q5 (smart bomb)s
100,000 LRASM-50 (Long Range Anti-Surface Missile)s
110,000 MLAM-2 Air to Surface Missiles
100,000 Shockhound Avenger I air-to-ship; surface-to-ship missiles
1,000,000 Yellow Jacket mini-SAMs
1,000,000 BGM-109 Tomahawk Cruise Missiles
1,000,000 P-700 3M-45 Granats
1,000,000 TSM-2 Hawks
1,000,000 TSM-1 Falcons
10,000,000 Blowtorch Anti-Tank Guided Missiles
10,000 MTAAM-3 Silencer Air to Air Missiles
10,000 AAM.176 BVRAAM Air to Air Missile


Misc. Weapons
10,000,000 claymore mines
10,000,000 anti-tank mines
10,000,000 DE-20 Wasp anti-personnel mines
10,000,000 ATG-44 SHaped anti-TAnk mines


Research Facilities & Materials
25 heavy water plants
100 nuclear reactors
500 laboratory complexes
1,000 centrifuges
1,000,000 kilos (depleted) of enriched uranium
1,000,000 kilos of plutonium
1,000,000 kilos of caesium
1,000,000 kilos of francium
1,000,000 gallons of heavy water


Nuclear/Radioactive/Chemical Attack Protection
100,000 Mobile Decontamination Units
10,000,000 Scott 60min Power Respirator
10,000,000 MSA Millennium Gasmasks



Defense Systems

500 of these:

Civilian Bunker Complex

Capable of withstanding a 10 Megaton Blast - A Civilian Bunker complex is ideal for those nations who are under threat of Nuclear Attack. The Bunker Complex comes with a further smaller Complex below it capable of storing food that will last a total of 1000 people up to 6 months. Incredibly strong architecture and no chance of internal collapsing make this an excellant choice for facilities such as Universities when a nation wants to protect its most gifted individuals. It comes with other supplies such as small cot beds.


100 of these:

Leadership Bunker

Built near to another undeground Military installation (allowing quick access to Military facilities) this facility itself is useful. Allowing protection of up to 800 People with foodstuffs stored in a variety of other underground facilities built onto the main structure. This facility, like a city underground comes with offices and bedrooms. It is ideal when a nation wants to protect its leadership and allow some seblance of authority in the aftermath of an attack. This facilities large scale design allows for 800 people to last for up to 16 Months with the capacity of food storage available.


2 of these:

Radiation Warning System

Made out of Tritanium, these small gauges linked to a main hub of your choosing will be able to ascertain (in the event of a Nuclear Disaster) which areas of a certain city or town are safe and which are not. This is an incredibly effective tool, especially if you are looking to rebuild your nation in the event of a Nuclear War, and want to know what area needs to be cleaned of radiation the most. Other uses include knowing which areas to evacuate e.t.c.


75 of these:

Aristotle Class Centralised ABM System

This revolutionary purchasing option allows you to purchase the following:

- 100 Aristotle Class ABM's with an effective Radius of 150 Miles.

- 50 Radar Systems all interlinked to a central control system.

- 4 Satellite Navigational Tracking System.

- 1 Command and Control Centre - Capable of tracking 100 Targets - Allowing it to track MRV's.

- 5 ABM Missile Silos - With thier own C&C Centres.

- 20 Civilian Nuclear Bunkers.

- Backup Integrated Patriot II System if the Aristotle Fails to take the ICBM Down. This again is interlinked to the Centralised Control System.


25 of these:

Aristotle II-EX Class Centralised SDI System

The Ultimate SDI system, it costs a large amount but is one of the most effective SDI system on NS at the moment:

- 500 Plato II Class ABM's with an effective Radius of 1000 Miles.

- 100 Radar Systems all interlinked to a central control system.

- 1 Satellite Thermal Imagining System.

- 12 'Centurion II' (Quicker locking on time) Satellite Navigational Tracking System.

- 1 'Midas' Orbital Weapons Platform. An early design but capable of firing MIRV capable ICBM's down from space, Orbital Weapon Platform operates under the basis of Intelligence, for example, if a Nuclear Attack is expected from a certain nation. The Midas will use its thrusters to gain a sustainable Orbit above that nation and prepare for incoming ICBM's (51% Success Rate in 150 Tests).

- 1 Command and Control Centre - Capable of tracking 500 Targets - Allowing it to track MRV's.

- 20 ABM Missile Silos - With thier own C&C Centres. And capable of withstanding a 50 Kiloton Blast. New Thermal dampening materials allow us to make these as less detectable as possible.

- 50 Civilian Nuclear Bunkers.

- 2 Leadership Bunkers.

- Links all AA Defenses together, providing multiple failsafes.

- Notification system to all ICBM Missile Silos, and Nuclear Capable Submarines if you Nation is hit. Notification system also notifies Fighter and Bomber Planes to scramble as soon as ICBM's or Nuclear Capable Planes are detected in the sky. Notification System also notifies Civilians via warning horns. This is all centralised to the Centralised System itself.

- Backup Integrated Patriot 2E System (89% success rate against Scuds and Conventional SRBM's) if the Aristotle Fails to take the ICBM Down. This again is interlinked to the Centralised Control System.

(TO BE UPDATED)


RB Military Formations


Roach-Busters Coast Guard (stationed along the shore of Lake Superior)
35 Infantry Divisions
15 Armored Divisions
6 Mechanized Infantry Divisions


Twin Cities Defense Force (stationed around the perimeter of the Twin Cities)
50 Infantry Divisions
10 Armored Divisions
10 Mechanized Infantry Divisions
200 Reserve Divisions
1 RG State Security Division
6th RG Super Elite Division
7th RG Super Elite Division
8th RG Super Elite Division


Western Border Patrol Force (stationed along the borders of North Dakota and South Dakota)
30 Infantry Divisions
100 Reserve Divisions
6 RG Armored Divisions
6 RG Mechanized Divisions
2 RG State Security Divisions


Southern Border Patrol Force (stationed along the border of Iowa)
15 Infantry Divisions
50 Reserve Divisions
6 RG Armored Divisions
6 RG Mechanized Divisions
2 RG State Security Divisions


Eastern Border Patrol Force (stationed along the border of Wisconsin)
15 Infantry Divisions
50 Reserve Divisions
6 RG Armored Divisions
6 RG Mechanized Divisions
2 RG State Security Divisions


Northern Border Patrol Force (stationed along the border of Canada)
60 Infantry Divisions
20 Armored Divisions
8 Mechanized Infantry Divisions
300 Reserve Divisions
6 RG Armored Divisions
6 RG Mechanized Divisions
2 RG State Security Divisions


Twin Cities NW Air Defense Force (stationed 25 miles northwest of the Twin Cities)
5 Airborne Infantry Divisions
5 Airmobile Infantry Divisions


Twin Cites SW Air Defense Force (stationed 25 miles southwest of the Twin Cities)
5 Airborne Infantry Divisions
5 Airmobile Infantry Divisions


Twin Cites SE Air Defense Force (stationed 25 miles southeast of the Twin Cities)
5 Airborne Infantry Divisions
5 Airmobile Infantry Divisions


RB NE Air Defense Force (stationed 25 miles northeast of RB)
5 Airborne Infantry Divisions
5 Airmobile Infantry Divisions


RB City Defense Force
25 Infantry Divisions
20 Airborne Infantry Divisions
20 Airmobile Infantry Divisions
25 Armored Divisions
6 Mechanized Infantry Divisions
200 Reserve Divisions
1 RG State Security Division
1 RG Cavalry Company
3 RG Special Forces Divisions
3rd RG Super Elite Division
4th RG Super Elite Division
5th RG Super Elite Division


J.L.'s Palace Defense Force
3 SIG Divisions
2 RG Armored Divisions
2 RG Mechanized Divisions
2 RG Special Forces Divisions
1st RG Super Elite Division
2nd RG Super Elite Division
10 ATTACK Brigades


Northwestern Frontier Defense Force (stationed in the northwestern quarter of RB)
5 Infantry Divisions
10 ATTACK Brigades
25 Reserve Divisions
1 RG Armored Division
1 RG Mechanized Division
2 RG State Security Divisions
1 RG Cavalry Company
1 RG Special Forces Division


Southwestern Frontier Defense Force (stationed in the southwestern quarter of RB)
5 Infantry Divisions
10 ATTACK Brigades
25 Reserve Divisions
1 RG Armored Division
1 RG Mechanized Division
2 RG State Security Divisions
1 RG Cavalry Company
1 RG Special Forces Division


Southeastern Frontier Defense Force (stationed in the southeastern quarter of RB)
5 Infantry Divisions
10 ATTACK Brigades
25 Reserve Divisions
1 RG Armored Division
1 RG Mechanized Division
2 RG State Security Divisions
1 RG Cavalry Company
1 RG Special Forces Division


Northeastern Frontier Defense Force (stationed in the northwestern quarter of RB)
5 Infantry Divisions
10 ATTACK Brigades
25 Reserve Divisions
1 RG Armored Division
1 RG Mechanized Division
2 RG State Security Divisions
1 RG Cavalry Company
1 RG Special Forces Division

*in addition, there are 10 Royal Air Force bases in each county, 4 just outside RB City, and 1 on the Imperator's estate (a total of 875 bases), with all of the aircraft in the Air Force divided among them

**also, all of the B.A.D.G.E. offices (except DII), are located in RB itself (Minnesota), and are spread out among the counties and RB, in proportion to their populations

***in each city, there is roughly 1 policeman (not B.A.D.G.E.) for every 270 individuals, and each policeman has at least some military training

*****each county has 10,000 county patrol officers (to monitor all inter-county travel), making a total of 870,000 country patrol officers; there are 1,000,000 border patrol officers stationed along each border, making a total of 4,000,000 border patrol officers

*****70% of the RB Navy ships are in Lake Superior, 10% are in Lake Michigan, 10% are in Lake Huron, and 10% are in Lake Erie

The Imperator's castle:

The castle (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/The_castle.jpg)

The throne room (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/throne_room.jpg)

The backyard (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/backyard.jpg)

The ballroom (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/ballroom.jpg)

Another look at the ballroom (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/ballroom2.jpg)

The room where the Imperator and Chancellor confer with the Cabinet (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/cabinet_room.jpg)

A ceiling (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/ceiling.jpg)

The Imperator's den (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/den.jpg)

The family dining room (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/dining_room.jpg)

The Empress's dressing room (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/dressing_room.jpg)

A lion statue that Shooban and Turta slaves believe to be possessed, deterring any potential slave insurrection (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/entrance_statue.jpg)

The entrance to the Imperator's bedroom (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/entrance_to_royal_bedroom.jpg)

Where the Imperator spends time with his wife and children (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/family_room.jpg)

The Imperator's favorite rug (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/fave_rug.jpg)

One of the Imperator's art galleries (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/gallery.jpg)

Another art gallery (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/gallery2.jpg)

The Imperator's bedroom (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/royal_bedroom.jpg)

Guest quarters (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/guestsquarters.jpg)

The Imperator's private library (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/library.jpg)

The room where the Imperator hosts parties (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/party_room.jpg)

A gallery home to portraits of some of the Imperator's relatives (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/portrait_hall.jpg)

The Imperator's wine cellar (http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/wine_cellar.jpg)

Favorite quotes of mine


"I swear to God. The whole fucking world has gone nuts."

--Minister of Justice Chia Neng Lee--


"A great man, Shah Khosru III, once warned: 'Freedom destroys nations!' You would be wise to heed his sagacious suggestion."

--Chong Moua--


"Elections are evil. Democracy is a scourge which has toppled many of history's great nations. Abolish this plague before your nation falls next."

--Minister of Foreign Affairs Chong Moua--


"Elections are so damned obtuse. The majority of the populace is too short-sighted and simple-minded to know what's best for the country. What if they elected imbecilic candidates? Under a democracy, utter travesties can occur. Example: what if they voted in favor of Shooban 'rights,' free speech, or some other self-destructive, hare-brained policy? Your nation would fall apart. So please, do the sensible thing and outlaw elections now!"

--Minister of Foreign Affairs Chong Moua--


"A pathetic attempt by Marxist atheists to cloak their fidelty to their dark master, Satan. Pacitalia is an atheist hellhole steeped in the cursed and vile teachings of the Devil's advocate, Karl Marx. Timothy Ell and all his wicked people will be smothered by fire and brimstone and their black, putrid souls will be delivered into the open arms of their dark master, Satan, when the Almighty brings His judgment upon thee!"

--Pope Paul VII--


"Are you people fucking blind? This is nothing more than a subtle attempt by the Ell regime to draw attention from its barbarous persecution of Christians. Few regimes on Earth violate freedom as flagrantly as the Stalinist tyranny of Pacitalia."

--Minister of Justice Chia Neng Lee--


“Oh, please. Do you really think I should let public opinion dictate how I govern?”

--Imperator J.L. I--


“You are an even lower scum than that slutty crackwhore who gave birth to that putrid 'baby.' Tell me, you wouldn't happen to be of Shooban descent, would you?”

--Imperator J.L. I--


“If a Shooban and a communist were mixed together, the result wouldn't be as repulsive as you, you coprophagus scum!”

--Imperator J.L. I--


“You said we treat Shoobans "like they are the scum of the Earth." Well, since they are the scum of the Earth, is not our treatment of them appropriate?”

--Imperator J.L. I--


“Didn't your mother once tell you, "You never know if you'll like something unless you try it?" Well, I suggest you follow that advice. Can you honestly tell me you have killed a Shooban before? Try it, my friend. It is an extremely entertaining pasttime. I highly recommend it.”

--Imperator J.L. I--


“Shoobans are not as good as anyone else. They are the lowest scum on the planet, even lower than communists.”

--Imperator J.L. I--


“The young lady is hardly in need of assistance from a coprophiliac clod of garbage like yourself. I am doing an outstanding job parenting her, and she has a natural affinity for Shooban hunting. To deprive her of this, her favorite sport, would utterly crush her spirit.”

--Imperator J.L. I--


“Only a barbarian, a freak, a moron, or a sub-Shooban would debase himself to eat Shooban meat.”

--Imperator J.L. I--


“My dear, God did not create the Shoobans. They were created by Satan, just as the communists were.”

--Imperator J.L. I--


“Looking in a thesaurus is far more refreshing than looking at that ugly mug meant to pass off as your face.”

--Imperator J.L. I--


“I wasn't intending to be humorous, you brainless lout. Why don't you pull your head out of your hairy ass and use what little brainpower that tiny morsel of shit can muster and at least attempt to think?”

--Imperator J.L. I--


"Oh, you know how it is. Exploit the poor, smoke like a chimney, eat luscious and lavish meals that clog my arteries, execute commies, enslave new lands, rule with an iron fist, kill Shoobans. The usual."

--Imperator J.L. I--


“You fool, how dare you insult my people that way! They are not retards merely for rejecting Marxist-Leninist gangsterism. I do not see how it is 'sad' that a great man such as myself gained control of an entire nation. It is a blessing for all those who oppose leftism. I do not fear your Third World hellhole of a nation in the slightest.”

--Imperator J.L. I--



What others have said to (or about) my nation or my characters


"This is clearly a ruse. J.L wouldn't allow anyone to call him crazy in a public media outlet."-The Great Leader Li (posted by MassPwnage)



"This is insane! I pray none of these policies will have an effect on Parthia. Freeing Shoobans? You may as well free horses too. What did you do with the real JL?!?"

-Shah Khosru III (posted by The Parthians)



"The old J.L. would be nice to have back. It was the commies who turn the old J.L. into the new J.L. Now, J.L. is going nuts because of what the commies did to him."

~ Count JWolf (posted by The Transylvania)



"We of the Imperial Government have officially changed our minds. J.L. should remain an evil totalitarian megalomaniac. He's just too damn good at it." (posted by Generic empire)



"J.L. you have gone way to far this time. You tried to fool us all and the worse part is you tricked your own citizens. You truly are the worlds coldest most heartless bastard. You should rot in the bowels of hell for all eternity."

-President Michael W. Nellis (posted by Nellisland)



"Nice one, very nice. Almost brought a tear to my eye... not for those damn hippies of course."

-President-General Mitchell C. Craig (posted by The Burnsian Desert)



"So says the certifiably insane Dictator. Go back to your padded-cell and comfy strait-jacket and worry about Communists attacking your country. Let your wife work instead." (posted by Skinny87)



"You guys are absolute bastards! I can not believe I used to call RB an ally! Rot in hell all of you!"

-President Michael W. Nellis (Nellisland again)



"I would be delighted to attend, if only to save that poor girl from improper parenthood and learning how to mercilessly hunt Shoobans. We don't need a junior you on this planet."

Paolo Fernando Orbitello
Junior Deputy Prime Minister (posted by Pacitalia)



"J.L., my old friend, HAVE YOU GONE FUCKING INSANE?!?!?!"

-Emperor Helldawg V (Doomingsland)



"I hope Shoobans will not be given rights they do not deserve. This move is utterly shocking to me, how can we give so called "rights" to the population which is ignorant? Its rather absurd, the people know nothing, least of all unions."

-Shah Khosru III (The Parthians again)



"Lefties like animals more than people, you know how their brains 'work' my friend." - private conversation between the Shah and Generalissimo JL (The Parthians again)



The treatment of the Shoobans by the authorities in Roach-Busters is without question disgusting, contemptible, irresponsible and overall, repugnant. We cannot see how the Shoobans, let alone any race on Earth, deserves the treatment being given to these poor, defenceless people by the citizens and government of Roach-Busters.

Roach-Busters itself has become a major problem in regard to its domestic human rights policies and these terrible acts against humanity must be curbed immediately.

The SEP-T Coalition (Sarzonians, Euroslavians and Pacitalians for Truth) will be demanding full, concise and honest reports of the Roach-Busterian government and if that is not given, will demand access to Roach-Busters to perform inspections of living, health and education standards for these people.

Roach-Busters has become a despicable land of waste, squalor and destroyed hopes and dreams. So, again, we will extend the hand of friendship to help the disadvantaged and poor masses of Roach-Busters suffering under what is and was the J.L. regime, by providing humanitarian and educational aid once the current conflict with Sarzonia is finished, and Roach-Busters is declared a peaceful, unhostile land for Pacitalian peacegivers.

However, as this is still a gross crime against humanity and a terrible stain on the reputation of the nation of Roach-Busters as a country of pride and hard work, we must condemn this act and implore Roach-Busterian authorities to stop this mad process before many more Shoobans are killed.

Vasiliou Bandanaris
Agustinate of International Relations (Pacitalia again)

*reserved*

Background info on Shoobans and Turtas:


http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Shooban.jpg
Shoobans
Long ago, a nation called Demonic Terrorists committed routine genocide, terror, and repression against a small island off the coast of Africa called Shoobooshaaba. Later, DT became too big for its britches, committed outrageous atrocities merely for the sake of provoking international indignation, and was invaded, easily defeated, and conquered by The Burnsian Desert. Later, the people of Shoobooshaaba (called Shoobooshaabans, or 'Shoobans' for short) decided to get revenge by invading DT (which was in shambles following the invasion) and wreak havoc for its crimes against the Shoobans. Generic Empire, an ally of TBD, warned Shoobooshaaba not to attack DT, as DT was Burnsian territory. Shoobooshaaba refused, and was invaded by Generic Empire, Borman Empire, and Parthia. The Shoobans, armed only with arrows, spears, and other crude, primitive weapons, were defeated quickly and easily. GE, BE, and Parthia divided up Shoobooshaaba among themselves; later, Roach-Busters, a close friend of the three, was given one-fourth of Shoobooshaaba as a gift. Shortly afterwards, the Shooban slave trade began, and soon countries throughout the world, especially allies of GE, BE, Parthia, and RB, had thousands, millions, or even billions of Shooban slaves. Hunting Shoobans was and is a popular pasttime in many countries, including Parthia and RB.


More info on Shoobans:

Average height: 3'5"-4'
Average weight: 35-50 lb.
Average I.Q.: 50-60 (highest ever recorded was 75)
Description: Huge hands and feet, a hunchbacked pose, an uncoordinated walk, and make loud goose-like honking sounds when hurt or frightened. Speak limited English. Extremely stupid, only able to carry out the simplest of tasks, but are hard workers. Will eat just about anything. Breed very quickly (like rats). Filthy creatures, they never bathe, and emit a disagreeable odor. They follow a pagan religion, and often worship ancestors or pagan idols and deities. Shoobans are also famous for having very long, hard-to-pronounce names. Shoobans are not human beings, but animals; however, they are very near impossible to classify or categorize. Normally docile, they became extremely ferocious, rabidly violent, and extremely angry whenever the word 'sausage' is uttered (no one knows why, though). Several slave-owners have been killed when making the mistake of saying that word.

More info on Shoobans can be found by clicking here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/archive/index.php/t-395016.html)



http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/Roach-Busters/Turta_pic.jpg
Turtas
Turtas look vaguely like humans, except for their massive, hideously misshapen, deformed heads and dopey, vacant stare. They exhibit a childlike naivete (sp?), are profoundly clumsy, and so stupid that it takes them almost thirty seconds to feel pain. They often snort, hoot, giggle, burst into tears, wheeze, or chuckle for no apparent reason. They are unique in that all males and females look exactly the same. All are born without clothing, save for a dirty, slightly baggy pair of gray sweatpants that every Turta is born with. They have no genitalia or anus, and thus never defecate or urinate. Removal of the sweatpants is always fatal. They cannot say any words save their species, 'Turta.'


More info on Turtas:

Average height: 4'5"-5'
Average weight: 60 lb.
Average I.Q.: 20-35 (highest ever recorded was 35.000001)
Description: Their breeding consists of the male Turta rubbing its right ear against the female's left ear; minutes later, the female gives birth orally (and of course, the baby is born with the gray sweatpants). Females give birth to roughly 50-60 babies per annum. Turta blood is purple and looks like grape jelly.

More info on Turtas can be found by clicking here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=427129)

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A day in the life of an average Roach-Busterian kindergartener

24 hours a day, 365 days a year, RB City was bustling with activity. Cars drove at a modest, orderly pace, neither too fast nor too slow, in perfect formations, in two neat, straight, orderly lines moving in opposite directions. The streets and sidewalks were scrupulously clean, without even a single scrap of litter. Since most people did not enjoy being beaten unconscious with leather whips, there was no incentive to litter. RB City was one of the few places left in the world where perfect strangers greeted each other with a slight bow, a tip of the hat, or an amiable "Hello." Everyone was clean, well composed. Scruffiness, too, was a crime. The air was clear, free of pollution. All-pervasive police, MPs, police informers, security cameras, etc. ensured that public order was maintained at all times.

Every five minutes, loudspeakers would blare one of the following three messages at random: "Papa J.L. loves his children very, very much"; "Imperator J.L. I is your friend"; or "Smile! The Imperator is watching."

Each store window prominently displayed a portrait of the Imperator, garbed in his black armor, with a smile that reflected his warm, kindly, fatherly demeanor. Children would gaze at the portraits, entranced, and say, in a soft, awestruck voice, "Papa!"

Every place, public or private- homes, fire stations, police stations, hospitals, libraries, restaurants, brothels, bars, casinoes, museums, etc.- proudly hung an enormous portrait of the Imperator. Each adult lovingly rendered a sharp salute each time they passed a portrait.

8 out of 10 children, and nearly all adults, wore exact duplicates of the Imperator's (former) trademark uniform, not because the law compelled them to, but because they loved him so much. Everyone was, however, required to wear a lapel with his portrait, and everyone did.

Citizens were all smiles, as they joyfully went about their peaceful, unassuming, modest lives. Most conversations focused on the man they fondly referred to as "Papa." Tourists found it baffling.

Life in Roach-Busters was happy. While none would deny that J.L. ruled with an iron fist, none would deny that he also ruled with a heart of gold.

A young boy named Robbie Smith, aged six, was starting his first day of kindergarten today. The school bus he was riding in had the Imperator's face painted on both sides, with the message: PAPA J.L. LOVES HIS CHILDREN VERY, VERY MUCH underneath. Like all children, his school uniform looked just like what 'Papa' wore. The bus driver wore the same thing, and as he picked up the innocent little children to bring them to school, he could be heard humming the RB national anthem.

At school, the first thing the students did was line up in perfect formation, salute the giant portrait of the Imperator on the wall, and chant: "We are Papa J.L.'s children! Papa loves us very, very much! He is our father, our leader, our friend. Papa knows what is best for us! We will make the world a better place, for Papa!"

The students then took their seats at their desks, while the teacher went over their math lessons (each textbook, no matter what the grade or subject, whether kindergarten or college, public school or private, had the Imperator on the front, with the words PAPA J.L. LOVES HIS CHILDREN VERY, VERY MUCH). Most of the math questions were of a political nature.

"If Papa J.L. meets ten communists, and he kills eight, how many are left?" the teacher, Mrs. Higginson, asked.

Robbie raised his hand.

She nodded. "Yes, Robbie?"

"Two," he said.

She broke out in a sunny, excessively jaunty smile. "Very good, sweetie, very good!" Wiping tears, she said, "Papa would be so proud!"

Robbie, too, began to weep tears of joy. "Really?"

"Yes, sweetie," she said, hugging him. "Because Papa J.L. loves you so, so much!"

An hour later, it was time for science. The teacher showed them a communist skull (it was actually a chimpanzee skull, but they were too young to tell). "This is the skull of a communist, children. Now, what are communists?"

"Dirty, rotten, malevolent bastards that want to hurt Papa," the children said, in sing-song formation.

"Yes, children. And who will save us from the communists?"

All the chubby-cheeked little children wore huge, toothy smiles, their eyes alight with joy, as they said: "Papa!"

"Yes, you're right. Papa." Donning plastic gloves, she reached into the skull, and took out the brain (actually, a chunk of donkey feces). "Do you know what this is?"

"Eew, a commie's brain!" a little girl said.

"Yes. Now, Tyler, tell us about communists' brains."

A young, bespectacled, freckle-faced carrot-top named Tyler stood and said in a high, nasal voice, "Communists' brains don't work. Their brains are broken and can't be fixed."

He sat down, after being lightly applauded.

"Now, if you see a communist, what should you do?" Mrs. Higginson asked.

"Call the police!"

"Yes, very good. Because the police are your friends, right children? They love Papa, just like you."

For half an hour, the children were taught 'science.' They were taught that communists were closely related to cockroaches, were coprophagous, disease-ridden, dangerous animals, etc. They also learned a thing or two about earthworms, rainbows, the weather, and volcanoes.

After milk and cookies time, the teacher read them a picture book about the Imperator, on one of his usual communist-hunting excursions.

The children excitedly exchanged whispers: "Wow, Papa's so cool!"

"He sure is brave, fighting those mean and nasty poopoo-head commies all by himself!"

"I love Papa!"

Then, it was recess. Students were given guns (they had been taught gun safety at home, which was required by law), and hunted Shoobans and Turtas for half an hour. When they were done, they went back inside, pledged allegiance to the Imperator again, and then it was 'coloring time.' Nearly everyone drew a picture of the Imperator, often with the words "I love Papa" written underneath.

Then, it was time for history, where they were told laudatory stories of the heroic deeds of the likes of Emperor Antonius, Emperor Helldawg, Shah Khosru III, and all of RB's other noble allies.

After spelling and grammar lessons, it was time to go home. Children eagerly climbed into the school buses, nearly frantic with excitement, eager to return home and show their "purdy pitchers" to their parents.

Each looked forward to the next day of school.

OOC: I've always loved reading your factbooks, RB. I especially liked the random facts part. :)

IC: If you find it possible, The United Empire of Comatica would like to open a trade route with the Capitalist Confederacy of Roach-Busters. We have numerous deposits of high-value metals that we could export, such as cobalt, tungsten, and titanium. We see that you export natural resources. Perhaps you could tell us what minerals and such that includes. Then we could possibly come to an agreement.

Also, in an attempt to further our diplomatic developments, Emperor Titus Celmaetus has granted 3,500 acres of land in the southwest Valderel Mountains to Generalissimo J.L. as a gift, as we see that he has a liking for expansive foreign estates.

Sincerely,
Drusilla Vulcanerum
Minister of Commerce and Trade

Cornelius Durantum
Minister of International Relations

OOC: I've always loved reading your factbooks, RB. I especially liked the random facts part. :)

IC: If you find it possible, The United Empire of Comatica would like to open a trade route with the Capitalist Confederacy of Roach-Busters. We have numerous deposits of high-value metals that we could export, such as cobalt, tungsten, and titanium. We see that you export natural resources. Perhaps you could tell us what minerals and such that includes. Then we could possibly come to an agreement.

Also, in an attempt to further our diplomatic developments, Emperor Titus Celmaetus has granted 3,500 acres of land in the southwest Valderel Mountains to Generalissimo J.L. as a gift, as we see that he has a liking for expansive foreign estates.

Sincerely,
Drusilla Vulcanerum
Minister of Commerce and Trade

Cornelius Durantum
Minister of International Relations

{OOC: Thanks! :)}

IC:

"I appreciate the generosity. And yes, I would love to open a trade route."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

{OOC: Thanks! :)}

IC:

"I appreciate the generosity. And yes, I would love to open a trade route."

--Generalissimo J.L.--

IC: The Imperium indeed looks forward to future diplomatic relations.

Sincerely,
Cornelius Durantum
Minister of International Relations

OOC: What a graet laugh you gave me, man! Sincere thanks for that! :D
One of the most amusing factbooks I have seen this far.

OOC: What a graet laugh you gave me, man! Sincere thanks for that! :D
One of the most amusing factbooks I have seen this far.

{OOC: Er...thanks? :p}

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ooc:
w00t! RB is back! Hell Yeah!

EDIT: Is the "Who Gives A Damn About Human Rights Club" still around?

ooc:
w00t! RB is back! Hell Yeah!

EDIT: Is the "Who Gives A Damn About Human Rights Club" still around?

I plan on reviving it. :)

Bring
Us
More
Pudding

Love the factbook, RB. Two thumbs up!

Are we going to finish our thread?

Love the factbook, RB. Two thumbs up!

Are we going to finish our thread?

{OOC: Thanks.

Which thread?}

OOC: This is the coolest factbook in the history of factbooks. This is really just a glorified tag of the factbook. Because the factbook is the factbook of Roach-Busters.

{OOC: Which thread?

This one = http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=453423

This one = http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=453423

{OOC: Thanks.}

No problem.

IC:

"What does the Government of Roach-Busters think of liberals?"

- Random Passerby

IC:

"What does the Government of Roach-Busters think of liberals?"

- Random Passerby

{OOC: There are no liberals in RB anymore.}

OOC: I should have known better. With RB's government very anti-left, it wouldn't take half a brain cell to figure out that Roach-Busterian liberals would have been dead. :headbang:

OOC: I should have known better. With RB's government very anti-left, it wouldn't take half a brain cell to figure out that Roach-Busterian liberals would have been dead. :headbang:

{OOC: They were deported, not killed.}

OOC: Oh. But would RB invade a liberal nation simply because it assisted in the toppling of a radical right-wing government and the Generalismmo liked their leader?

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Bring
Us
More
Presents

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OOC: Oh. But would RB invade a liberal nation simply because it assisted in the toppling of a radical right-wing government and the Generalismmo liked their leader?
Perhaps you overlooked this, -Maqdha-....

{OOC: Sorry, missed that. In answer to your question, though, it depends on who the leader being toppled was.}

OOC: Thanks for responding, Magdha. Vader Tanakis, radical fascist leader of Torontia, overthrown by the Infinite Empire of Yallak in a single missile salvo?

OOC: Thanks for responding, Magdha. Vader Tanakis, radical fascist leader of Torontia, overthrown by the Infinite Empire of Yallak in a single missile salvo?

{OOC: Doesn't ring a bell. :confused:}

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OOC: Have you ever heard of Saharistan? Because the player behind the nation rps with radical right-wing regimes. And often gets crushed due to his lack of diplomacy and military weakness. Torontia is one of his many puppets. Read the article detailing the Saharistan War (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Saharistan_War), written by the founder of the Saharistan War Coalition, Halberdgardia. I think Kravania is his latest incarnation...

OOC: Have you ever heard of Saharistan? Because the player behind the nation rps with radical right-wing regimes. And often gets crushed due to his lack of diplomacy and military weakness. Torontia is one of his many puppets. Read the article detailing the Saharistan War (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Saharistan_War), written by the founder of the Saharistan War Coalition, Halberdgardia. I think Kravania is his latest incarnation...

{OOC: Heard of him, never met him. He's neither friend nor foe nor in between.}

OOC: Magdha, all I can really say is... That's incredible, fucking incredible. How long did it take you to do that? *muddles around for a sheet of paper to start his own factbook*.

OOC: Magdha, all I can really say is... That's incredible, fucking incredible. How long did it take you to do that? *muddles around for a sheet of paper to start his own factbook*.

{OOC: Thank you, thank you. *Bows*

Altogether, it took me about 7-8+ hours.}

OOC: No, I was wondering what was your IC opinion of him...

OOC: No, I was wondering what was your IC opinion of him...

{OOC: I have none.}

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